Category Archives: Messages

by

Physical Manifestations of Integration

I am having some physical manifestations of the integration process. I was about to call them “symptoms” but that word didn’t feel right. These are not symptoms as much as they are the results of the shifting of the cellular structure of the physical vessel.

In the last week I have had a resurgence of manifestation phenomena. This is what I have noted thus far:

  • Major skin changes to include: eczema, rashes/allergic reactions, and acne issues
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Odd dreams
  • Disconnect from guides/Team
  • Hot flashes
  • Emotional roller coaster
  • Lack of motivation
  • Lower back ache
  • Upper back tension
  • Extremely clear vision
  • Loss of appetite
  • Craving raw vegetables
  • Avoidance of social situations
  • Irritability
  • Feeling I have not slept despite 9+ hours of sleep
  • Congestion (have had this going on 3 weeks as have other family members)
  • Decrease in buzzing sensations in third eye and crown, though third eye will occasionally buzz

The most annoying of these is the sleep disturbances and skin issues. I do not feel rested in the morning and am now considering taking Benadryl again to try and correct this. The skin changes have come on suddenly and out of the blue. The eczema came first, followed by a nasty acne breakout. I visited the dermatologist who once again blamed it on stress. Then yesterday I got hives on my upper thighs and rear from an allergic reaction of some sort. It is still bothering me today and feels hot and stingy. Makes it difficult to sit! lol

The Connection is Not Lost

Despite feeling disconnected from my guides/Team, I was able to establish communication with my Companion briefly last night. It was only via my heart chakra that I was able to do this and the communication was more feeling than mental.

I recognized that I needed to do my part and had been slipping up. I was told I am being observed, which kind of made me feel like I am in the midst of a “test”. However, I felt the observations were crucial to the process to make sure that I was properly prepared for what was to come next. I kept thinking of the idiom, “Slow and steady wins the race”.

Be patient. Have persistence. Tune into the heart. Tune out the mind. Listen.

I once again tuned into my heart space this morning upon waking. I did this because I am so tired of waking up in a bad mood and I was reminded that I choose how I feel. I saw the mind chatter of the Ego instantly. It said, “I don’t want to wake up. I hate my life. Take me Home.” These thoughts set up my entire day and I was not having it! Tuning into my heart shut them down quickly and I felt instantly a shift in perspective. It was like I pulled out the hidden me and shifted her to the forefront.

I have been calm and pleasant ever since. I see clearly that I have been duped by the Ego once again.

I so easily forget the destruction the Ego can bring with her selfish demands, instant gratification and avoidance techniques. She makes me Forget and that is perhaps her worst trait.

by

Feel I’ve Been Duped

I feel I’ve been duped. Either that or I completely misunderstood the spiritual changes I was going through.

It is probably the latter. I tend to be quite dense overall with this transformation stuff.

Dreams and Interrupted Sleep

I awoke feeling this way. That is how I’ve been feeling upon waking for some time now. This morning at 4:30am I was wide awake to the point that I didn’t think I would return to sleep. My mind was unsettled and I had a feeling of resistance that was quite strong.

My dreams were many and now I only have tidbits left of them. In one I was buying a very large cantaloupe and stated, “It’s for my husband. I hate cantaloupes” (I do hate them). In another I was being left at the beach by my ex-husband who decided he was going to go jet skiing. I remember hating him and feeling abandoned. Finally, in another I was being forced to take a mentally unstable and retarded teenager to the mental hospital. Then the man stole my car despite my trying to disable it.

I also recall a conversation about me being 26 years old. I almost became lucid in that dream because I remember thinking, “I’m not that young” and thinking about different ages to see if they felt right. This particular dream woke me up. I immediately remembered the age of 26 was when I had my first spiritual awakening. I did the math and sighed. It had been a very long time since then and I seem to not have made much progress.

Surrender

I somehow fell back to sleep and woke a couple of hours later. During that time I had more calming dreams. In one memorable one I was in the mountains and kept trying to take pictures of them. I ran into a group of mountain bikers and their air pump had gotten stolen. Then I was in a cabin on the mountainside. It had large windows to take in the view and a woman, a professor, was showing me invitations she had hand-made herself. She was about to leave her position for one higher up and I congratulated her. I remember thinking I had already graduated and was not her student anymore. Then I stared out the windows at the mountains and told her, “I’m not staying very long”.

Then I was reading a hand written list aloud to someone. As I went down the list, the words began to echo in my mind and I stopped because I recognized one: walk-in. I wondered, “Why was that word on there?” and then I wanted to remember the other ones and couldn’t. This woke me up.

I awoke to the Proclaimer’s 500 Miles song chorus in my head. I was not amused and did not want to hear what my Companion had to say. When I searched for the lyrics this morning, I stumbled upon an alternate version first and in the midst of the lyrics were the words “Surrender. Surrender”.

Probably a message but I’m not finding it helpful.

Gut Feeling

My connection to my Companion and Team is almost imperceptible right now. I feel abandoned by them again and angry to be left alone in a world I have no interest in. My gut feeling is that this is how it is going to be for a while. I feel stranded in a foreign country. I don’t know the language or the customs and have no interest in adapting to fit in.

Ever since I was a child I have felt this way. I don’t belong here. This isn’t my Home. Something is wrong with everyone else. Or maybe something is wrong with me? I thought I had finally found my family when I met my Companion. You can imagine the relief I felt. “Finally! Finally I am not alone! Finally I have an answer to why I am like I am!”.

But when I can’t find him, when it feels like he has abandoned me, all the feelings I have felt since childhood resurface. I begin to flounder. Life is so empty and lacking without the connection.

I am told it is always there, but I can’t find it. Even sleep doesn’t bring it. I was disconnected for the entire time I was starting my family. I don’t know how I managed to not die inside during that time – or maybe I did, little by little. If I have to do that again I think it will destroy me.

Please, please don’t do that to me again.

by

8 Months and I Give Up

My sleep has been interrupted by strange dreams and odd messages. I have been in my stubborn I-don’t-wanna-hear-it stage, so I try and push the dreams out of my mind as soon as I wake. And I wake up a lot!

Lung Dissection

The night before last I awoke from a real vivid dream where I watched myself on the operating table. My chest was opened up to reveal my lungs. Then my lungs were sliced in half and neatly laid side by side to reveal the insides.

What is the most vivid about this dream is the inspection of the inside. I was being shown these tiny, sparkling green orbs. They were all over the inside of my lungs. They looked like little circular emeralds and were no bigger than the tip of my pinky finger in size.

I woke up immediately from the dream thinking something was horribly wrong. I was immediately calmed and then fell back to sleep.

Signing the Bill

Last night I had a string of dreams that all woke me up. I tried to forget them but they are still lingering, especially this one.

I was purchasing something and asked to sign the credit card bill. The was one of the old type – you know the kind from a manual credit card processing machine that imprinted the card numbers on paper (makes me look very old).

I went to sign my name and it barely showed up. I remember squinting at the nearly invisible signature and then rewriting my name carefully over the top so that it could be seen.

I woke up immediately after thinking I had just signed a contract or finalized one.

8 Months!?

I don’t recall the dream now (trying to forget my dreams is working I guess) but I do recall what woke me up. In the dream I was talking to someone who was discussing how long it would take to do something. I remember hearing, “8 months”.

I awoke angry and protesting, yelling at my Companion asking why it was taking so long and to get it over with already. He explained that the process could not be rushed.

I Give Up

At work today I watched some webinars and got some CEUs (continuing education) in order to keep my counseling certificate. This was voluntary because my boss seems to have forgotten I exist and so I was not on the schedule to attend any of the day’s (and week’s) professional development. I wanted to focus on spiritual matters but kept feeling not to. So I didn’t.

As the day progressed I found a webinar I really liked and began to get ideas for the upcoming counseling groups I will be conducting. It was at this time I heard a very quiet question, “Why not?” This came with a memory of long ago when I first began teaching. Back then, I fell into my work with more gusto and passion than I ever have since. I enjoyed my job so much, in fact, that I got to work early every day and loved every moment of my day.

I realized what was happening. I was being prompted to “live life” and I understood that I have been resisting life for a very long time. There is a part of me that is angry at the “system” and also angry at myself for letting it get the better of me. Every time I think of something I should do I feel that anger and a little voice says, “Why bother?”

Honestly, though, I would rather try and do something about it than nothing at all.

So I decided I would do this group. I would plan it like I use to plan lessons as a teacher. I would have fun with it. I would create it and make it my own.

I came home and bought children’s books for each topic. I look forward to reading them to the students and making the silly voices for the characters. I look forward to making posters and drawing with them while we brainstorm ideas.

The reason I loved my first year of teaching is because my working theme was, “Explore yourself”. That is what I tried to get my students to do. To discover themselves, learn about themselves and grow in themselves. I can do that with the kids I work with now. If I want to.

Maybe “living life” won’t be as much of a drag after all.

by

Re-Writing the Self

My personal period of rest and rejuvenation continues. I am told this is widespread, that I am not alone in this.

There has been a slight increase, however, in communication from my Team and the night before last I actually did have a brief moment of contact with my Council. Unfortunately, the excessive exhaustion I am experiencing makes the memory of such events a blur and increases my disinterest significantly. All I want to do is fall back into the wonderful drowsy feeling of deep, uninterrupted sleep.

Messages Received

The messages I have received through these brief communications are short and to the point.

Message from Council, August 6, 2:30am.

“We are here. We will bring you Home soon”.

“When?”, I asked but got no response. I felt, though, the presence of 12 in Spirit around me, which I have not felt in some time.

Message from Companion, August 4, around 10pm

I suddenly felt a calm descend upon me, indicating my Companion was near. I was instructed to focus on my heart and the feeling intensified.

I was told, “You can receive at any time”. With this came a knowing that I could open up and “download” information from my Council whenever I chose. This was an ability I had not been using, thinking it was done to me rather than me initiating it at will.

I had been feeling as if I were about to “die” all day and this thought returned. With it was a knowing that I would be shifting out of the pilot’s seat again.

I asked, “Will it be the same?”

I heard, “No”.

I briefly had a mental picture of a bowl and spoon with the action of folding in ingredients slowly and recognized this to mean this shift was part of that process.

Then next day I experienced being gently pushed back as my Higher Self resumed control briefly. It was indeed a different experience.

Message from Council this morning

“You are re-writing the Self”.

I have since had a strong desire to rid myself of “baggage” I have been carrying around. This baggage is more figurative such as disconnecting from people from my past who I no longer feel a connection. It comes with a re-evaluation of who I am. I am asking questions again such as, “Does this align with my purpose?” and “Does this feel right for me?”

Sudden Knowing

I have been feeling that I will be “directed” toward my purpose or “work” in this life. I keep seeing myself as working to help people move from the “dark” to the “light”. The “dark” being they are sleep-walking through life. The “light” being they wake up and recognize they have been asleep. I do not force my help and many times it will completely go unnoticed.

This type of work is not only my purpose in this life but in future lives as well.

To clarify – being directed is not being told what to do but rather being led by feeling or synchronicity. I sense that this will involve a feeling of moving aside to allow my Higher aspect in.

by

Dream: Tending to the Horse

This morning I had a semi-lucid dream in which I was conversing with my Companion as I watched scenes unfold in front of me. It was quite long and drawn out, so I will focus mainly on the part that is most memorable.

Dream: Misfire

I had awakened early in the morning and asked to astral project. I rolled over and fell asleep not long after.

The first thing I recall is hearing very audibly a very deep voice. I acknowledged the voice immediately as that of my Companion. I don’t now remember what he said. Instead, I remember more the tone and quality of the voice. It was deep and sounded distorted, like someone talking through a voice distorter or changer.

I watched a scene unfold in front of me. Me and my brother were in the scene but this was us from another life. I was older and he was younger. In the scene we were upset because two dogs had been shot. One died and the other, my Trooper, had been wounded. I was visibly upset because I would have to put down my dog as his injuries were life threatening and he was already very old.

I saw how it happened. We had been playing with a loaded pistol and somehow, in our rough housing, the pistol had misfired and gone through the side of my dog and into the face of the other dog.

For a moment I was overcome with grief at the loss of my dog but then I recognized something – he had not died from a gunshot wound. The grief threatened still and I heard the voice of my Companion reminded me that I had moved past that. The grief vanished then and I became more lucid, recognizing it had all been a dream.

Dream: Tending to the Horse

Then I was standing in my Mom’s backyard looking at a large, brown horse. I somehow knew he was old. I had in my hand one of those large brushes to brush horses and knew that I was suppose to tend to the horse. I walked up to him and began to brush him. What is odd is that he spoke to me the entire time.

At one point he rolled over on his belly and thrashed about. He invited me to brush his underside and was very happy and content to be tended to. It was odd because the voice of my Companion came out of this horse and I felt very reluctant to participate in the obvious teaching scenario he had created for me.

I asked him why he wanted me to brush him. He said “Everyone else is too rough. They do it the right way”. I saw in my mind a woman brushing a horse and pushing very hard as they did. It did indeed seem rough and very business-like. Yet I knew this was the “right way” as I had seen it done in my current life.

I continued to brush him in my own way, which was more like a light massage or petting. I remember discussing with him my desire to hear him in my mind like I was hearing him now. “Why can’t I hear you this way in my waking life?”, I asked. There was/still is such a deep longing to hear him this way outside the dream and in-between states.

By this time I was fully lucid and had entered the in-between state. The horse was gone and all that remained was the strong connection between my Companion and myself. I knew his reply to my question before I heard his response.

“You can hear me just fine”, he said. I knew he was right. I do hear him, but not like in my dreams.

I asked him if I would ever get to experience hearing him that way consistently while awake. I did not get an answer as to yes or no, just a feeling that it was possible. But there was a huge “but” attached.

As I came out of the in-between I heard him say, “Live life”.

I knew again the message: Stop wishing for this or that and just live your life. Focus on living.

Understandably, I was in a sour mood when I got out of bed.

by

Dream: In 500 Years

I slept fitfully last night. I believe I was conversing with someone most of the night. Unfortunately, I don’t remember who or what was said. Every time I woke up it was 1.5 hours since I had previously woken. I didn’t feel rested upon finally waking up at 6:30.

Dream: In 500 Years

I had a lot of dreams in between the conversations but the one that stands out to me is about the future.

I was discussing my upset about how disconnected people have become from one another because of social media and the internet. It seemed that it would ruin humanity to me. This is when the person I was talking to interjected and said, “There will one day be a method of tracking people by sound”. I then saw the apparatus used to track people. It was a large, silver machine with metal tubing. Somehow it was explained to me that this machine could track and identify every person on Earth by their unique sound.

I found this interesting but wondered when such technology would exist. I heard back, “In 500 years”. I said, “Why would I care about that, then? I will be long dead by then”.

Then I wondered, “What if a person never speaks?” This is when it was explained that the machine could also detect a person based upon their smell. This seemed even more strange to me and I briefly wondered if maybe it wasn’t a “machine” at all but telepathy.

The dream then morphed into this action-adventure type movie scene. Two nuns came in and absconded with the machine, hiding it inside a black burlap sack. I chased after them but they escaped into a Catholic cathedral.

Inside, I saw them opening up two coffins. They were standing upright, side by side. The machine had turned into two people, a man and a woman, who were prisoners. They were being placed in the coffins and told how to use the censors inside to survive. I saw the woman playing with six tiny silver balls located at the top of the coffin.

I remember thinking the dream odd but there was a message that the previous machine, the one that could track people, was of high interest to organized religions such as Catholicism. They saw it as a threat to their survival. It was important that they suppress such change in order to maintain their power.

This part of the dream woke me up and the message remained. I understood the symbolism of the dream and the warning it held.

Message

I am not trying to attack the Catholic religion, so please don’t think that. But the message was clear that organized religion is part of why humanity is asleep. I did not question the message, for I have always distrusted religious groups, but there was further message that the powers that be are people we would otherwise not suspect of such a ruse. What I am told is that they do know what they are doing and are doing it purposefully.

No wonder I had trouble sleeping last night!

by

Crayfish Totem

I was reminded yesterday morning of a recent outing with my children. I had taught them how to catch minnows in the creek with a net. In the process of doing this, I saw a crawdad and caught it quickly. I showed them. We touched it and marveled at it. And I had fun. I felt like a kid again.

I use to spend hours as a kid catching crawdads. I told my children stories of how I waded through knee high mud, invading crawdad homes and catching all sizes. I told them the story of the mammoth crawdad I caught that was the size of a lobster. And I told them stories of how I collected their claws, explaining that they grew back and how I never once got pinched.

I was reminded by seeing in my mind the picture of the crawdad I caught that day (pictured above). I almost forgot about it. With the memory I felt there was a message I had missed. What was crawdad’s message?

crawdad

Crayfish Totem

Crayfish teaches us to move forward in life, to overcome our fears by shedding our old “skin”. This skin shedding is part of the crayfish’s nature cycle of growth and maturity. Similarly, spiritual growth is a forward moving process and involves shedding old limiting beliefs, issues and habits. The crayfish reminds us to not be afraid to let go of those things that hold us back. However, it also represents appropriate reversal, especially when threatened, but reminds us to not overuse this protective mechanism.

Crayfish is also symbol of regeneration. It often loses its legs, or claws, and can regrow them easily. So, also, can you regenerate as needed.

As a water creature, the crayfish represents the psyche, dreams and subconscious. It reminds us to pay attention to our intuition, listen to our dreams, and look for symbols in both our waking and dream world.

All images copywrite daynaspirit.com

by

Results of the Shift

For the past two nights I have dreamed of past acquaintances, both of which died suddenly and unexpectedly. At first I thought it to be a coincidence, but after last night’s dream I have changed my mind.

“I Can’t Get Through”

I almost missed the visit and message last night since it was muddled up with a longer dream I was having. However, upon waking it was clearly separate from the rest of the dreams I had.

The specific memory I have was of seeing this person, who I knew while growing up and who died in 2012. His daughter, my best friend from school, was in my dream as well. He was trying to talk to her; to get her attention. I don’t recall the specifics of what he was trying to tell her, but I do recall seeing his face covered in disappointment. I asked him what was wrong and he told me, “I can’t get through”.

My personal memory of him was blurred but I do recall trying very hard to get a good look at him because I recognized him. He looked like I last recall and I was happy to see him. But his disappointment was strong and that, I think, is why I remember.

Plans, Plans

The night before last I had a very in-depth dream in which I discussed the building of a house with someone I knew in life. He had also passed away and this was not the first time I had seen him in my dreams.

He was not trying to pass on a message – at least not that I recall. Instead, he was telling me of all the plans he had never gotten the chance to act upon. He was very enthusiastic. This is also how I remember him in life.

It seemed he came to talk to me as he asked me why I moved my family from our old place. I don’t remember my answer now. Instead, I just recall seeing him and his beaming smile. It was obvious he was very happy on the Other Side. He was also “whole”, which he had not been in life.

Understanding: Widespread Results of the Shift

It did not take me long to put the two night’s visits together. There was a reason for these encounters.

The every increasing energy shifts and changes brought about via the shift has not gone unnoticed by those who do not believe in the ascension. Most don’t even know about it. Yet, they feel it and they are distraught. They do not understand they are clearing out their past – their hurts, their disappointments, their upsets, their “sins”, their karma. All they know is that they are haunted by a feeling of emptiness and an upset over things they should be able to put behind them.

Their loves ones on the Other Side are trying to reach out to them. They should be able to. The veil is thin enough now that entering the subconscious via dreams to pass on messages is easier now than ever. Unfortunately, the messages don’t always get through. The mind blocks them. And if the messages do get through, disbelief and doubt toss them out.

This is why my friend’s father was so disappointed. He was showing me his attempts have not worked. He wondered, “Why can you see me but she cannot?

He knew the answer. She doesn’t believe in God or the afterlife for one. This was what he taught her, too. How could she ever receive a message from someone who is just gone? And if the message does make it through, she will toss it out, figuring it just a creation of her own mind. Unfortunately, this only creates more grief and more blocks and thus the cycle continues.

I recognized his appeal to me: talk to her, get her to see I am still here, I still exist.

I told him I won’t do it. Even if she did listen to me, she would still have those same blocks. She just does not believe.

by

Preparations

I feel that I am being prepared. For what, I am not sure. Maybe the next “step”, whatever it may be.

The preparations I am to make were requested of me today. I, of course, can choose. It was made clear that if I choose to ignore these requests that it will only slow progress but not stop it.

I am to immediately cut out all meat from my diet. I can eat dairy and eggs (thank you!) but nothing that was butchered for its meat.

No more alcohol. I think I got that message loud and clear a couple of nights ago. I tried a margarita last night and again had trouble sleeping. Its seems alcohol has a reverse effect on me now. Instead of acting as a depressant it acts like a stimulant.

No smoking. I don’t smoke much, just one at night before bed, but I guess it’s too much.

Meditate more.

Rest and drink plenty of water.

These requests came while I was driving today. The energy entered via my crown where an intense buzzing could be felt. It was not the profound opening up that has happened in the past but was a less intense version of it.

Why my guides choose to communicate with me while I am driving I don’t know. My vision is affected and everything I am experiencing immediately takes on a very dream-like appearance. The lines on the highway and the chinking of the pavement seem to glow and I feel as if I am flying rather than driving. Today it felt like everything around me curved-like and dancing and shifting, as if I were looking through binoculars.

Regardless, I always feel completely safe.

I suspect this preparation is for Friday. A recent dream revealed this day. Whether it is this Friday or another one I am not sure but I think this one since there is full moon that night. We’ll see I guess.

by

Sleeplessness and Dreams

The quiet voice returned yesterday. Not that it ever really went away. I did that. I went away. Or should I say the “other” me came back with a vengeance.

I was in the midst of living my day when it returned. What is interesting here is that it was so barely noticeable but at the same time it was all encompassing and impossible to ignore.

I don’t remember now what exactly was said but it was simple statements that I heard, statements that reflected the moment I was in. Sometimes they were requests asking me to take notice. Other times they were explanations; lessons. I do remember that I was reminded that I choose how I feel and react. I was also reminded to accept that which I can no longer control. If it is done, it’s done.

Listening and acknowledging the truth of these insights, I began once again to let go of arguments and resistance. This helped but it was difficult. The other me was/is very strong.

It became suddenly very apparent that maintaining control of the host body is a process that never ends. I must persist or lose control. I must remain always in touch with the body; the mind; the heart. If I relax and assume I have it “all under control” then the other me returns. I honestly wish she would go away and get over herself.

It is so much work. Why is it so hard?

And my guide said, “It will be easy”. Which part? Ha!

Sleeplessness

Falling asleep was difficult last night. I had a flashback of those years in which I suffered greatly from insomnia. I do not want to return to that! Yet there it was, heavy and having over me and causing great mental strain and confusion.

I appealed to my guides. “I want to sleep!”, I said. “What is going on?”

It was than that a phrase entered my mind, “Inside it is chaos. We will fix it”. I recalled hearing a similar statement recently. So this is the chaos?

I withdrew into my heart space and from there I was able to observe some of what was going on. The other me was quite upset about the current changes and the ones yet to come. The mind felt overwhelmed and the thoughts were haphazard and did not make sense. There would be one thought and another, disconnected one would pop up.

At some point, exhaustion overcame me and I fell asleep.

Dreams

The night was a busy one. I wish I recalled in detail everything but unfortunately my exhaustion must have eliminated the memory upon reentry.

I do recall waking at one point from a dream in which I was hunting down an entity. In the dream this entity had attached itself to me and was the cause of the chaotic thoughts and resistance. I had located it and was capturing it when I awoke. I immediately surrounded myself with light and returned to sleep. All I recall of this entity was that it was very small and resembled a little blob with a face.

The next dream I recall was returning to Alaska and reuniting with my ex-husband. For some reason I was very happy and felt safe, as if he could erase all my problems. I remember being at his work and there was a man who masturbated and got semen all over a glass table. Undisturbed, I cleaned it off with a wet rag. I remember looking closely at the glass as I cleaned it.

There was discussion about a trip. A woman who was there was about to have a baby and was going to go on a spiritual purification-type journey. I wanted to go with her but the timing was in question. She wanted to leave now and I told her I wanted to finish my visit and to wait. I remember seeing a calendar in my mind and deciding to leave on a Friday. The destination was one I knew and I told her, “That is where I go to school”.