Category Archives: Messages

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Reset

The energy was different last night. It felt like it was building up from the day before as I had been anxious most of the day for not reason. It did not feel as if I would have anything interesting occur in the night but when I thought about what it might mean I heard a song in my head: It is Well With My Soul. I began singing it aloud and started to cry because I was hit with such a feeling of love and support along with so many wonderful memories of growing up singing gospel songs with my family, especially memories of my grandparents.

I fell into such a deep sleep that when I was awakened sometime in the night I could not remember my dream, though I knew it had been an important one by the way I felt. I tried and tried to remember it, but it seemed I was too tired because the more I tried to remember, the more tired I became.

Virus

I soon found myself in a very intense dream. It was intense because I felt the energy in it moving me along. The energy was especially intense in my mid-section.

I entered a school in the dream and went into a classroom where I was met by a man who I did not recognized. He was tall and thin with a short cut beard and mustache and was wearing old fashioned clothing like from the 1800s. I don’t remember what we spoke about but I do recall he was trying to get me to kiss him. I was concerned someone would see us and pointed out the camera in the room. Eventually, though, I gave in and allowed him to kiss me. I felt nothing from the kiss and left the room soon after.

I realized not long afterwards that I was working at a school either as a teacher or a teacher of teachers (most likely the latter). I mingled with some of the teachers and then opened up my laptop to retrieve my presentation. When I logged in the computer seemed not to be mine and was filled with pornography video titles and films. I tried to get the computer to turn off but it wouldn’t and I finally had to unplug it. I was extremely embarrassed that my coworkers saw this and explained that the images were not mine.

I then opened up my phone to try and access the document I had not been able to access on my computer and found my phone had also been taken over. My list of contacts was gone and the screen was black except for a list of videos with sexual names that took the place of my contacts. I recall one video began to play and it had a name like Hot Penis’ and Juicy Cunts. I was horrified!

By this time the teachers had moved to the other side of the room and I began to calm down a bit. The images flashing on my phone would not stop and eventually I became curious about them. I watched an image of two men who were obviously about to get sexual and then shut my eyes. I then opened them from curiosity but willed myself to focus on trying to contact support.

I managed to contact someone via chat and he gave me a list of computer virus’. I knew I had the first virus on the list and asked him what I could do about it. He told me, “Nothing. It is a lost cause. All you can do is wipe the hard drive”. I was in denial so decided to try to reset my phone hoping it would at least give me access there.

merry-go-roundShort OBE

I was awakened suddenly by the screams of my baby. I got up and tended to him. It was 5:30am and he wanted solid food so I gave him some rice cereal. He began to doze off while eating so I put him back to bed but my husband yelled at me and it got me upset. It went back to bed but it took me a while to sleep because I was irritated.

I soon found myself in a house. My vision was shifty and mostly in black and white. I was waiting for my children to be dropped off by the bus but somehow knew the buses were all out of commission for a while and so the kids would be coming via carnival rides. I watched as a merry-go-round came by my house. It was on tracks and appeared to be in a line with other rides and set up like a train.

My two older children got off the train and a nice man came in with my baby boy in his arms. He was similar to the man I had just seen in my previous dream and was smiling and cheerful. He said something to me about it being cold and that he was sorry about the open air transportation my children had to use. With that, he bundled up my baby real tight. Then, when he saw how tired and depressed I was he told me, “You know registration is open for the early childhood school?” I hung my head and said, “Yes but we don’t qualify for that”. He nodded his understanding. I continued, “We make too much money”. I was filled with upset about how the only way I could get decently priced childcare in this country was to be miserably poor. The man’s face showed that he completely understood my predicament.

He left me with my children and I sat at a table all by myself moping and staring out into the darkness of the room in front of me. I looked at the table and began to organize it. As I did, I noted how vivid the objects were and I said to myself, “I am dreaming”. It was then that I began to see the room more clearly, but it was still in grays and browns and very dim.

I got up and wondered where the man had gone to. I also remembered my previous dream and felt I should see if I could initiate astral sex with the man since it seemed obvious to me that I needed to. Within moments I changed my mind about that since the man was nowhere and no one was materializing. I also knew I was in the etheric as my energy was low and I felt weighed down. It didn’t help that my mood was very low as well.

I went toward the door intent on getting outside the house. I remember thinking as I opened the door, “It will be light”. But when I opened the door it was dark and I could tell it was an unfamiliar neighborhood. It appeared to be a very hilly subdivision composed of high end houses with very large, paved driveways. I could see ten or so of them in front of me. I hesitated, thinking to myself that it was no use to try and astral as I felt so beaten down and tired. My mood was definitely difficult for me to overcome and I struggled to make a decision.

I finally decided I would go out, not knowing what I would do out there. When I tried to step through I felt something heavy against my lower leg and foot. It felt like a pillow and I kicked at it, but it would not move. This challenge caused me to fight against the pillow, now intent to get out. It was as if my increase in motivation was against me because I instantly went back to my body.

Hypnagogic Images and Messages

When I came back into my body I felt heavy with sleep, so tired I could barely move and didn’t want to anyway. I knew I had been OOB but did not care, my mood remained low as if I had been beaten down. I was on my back and stayed there but felt stiff so had to move to compensate. Within moments of laying still I began to see shapes forming in front of my eyes, geometric patterns in black and white – no color. At first I wanted to watch them but then thought better of it and ignored them. The images continued in the background of my vision for some time, expanding and contracting but never in vivid color.

I stayed in the in-between state for some time. Often I would find myself near exit and would change my mind. “What is the point? I’m not going to be allowed to go anywhere anyway”, I thought to myself. One time I found myself doing yoga and caught myself in the midst of going OOB and stopped it. Another time I was kicking as if trying to jump out of my body. It appeared I was intent on going OOB but then I would wake in the midst of it with negative thoughts and stop it.

At one point the exit opportunities stopped and I began to receive messages. This came from a guide who I am not familiar with. His voice was different than the main guide I speak with. He said to me, “Listen to your body”. I was caught off guard by this and immediately woke up and changed positions. I wondered what he meant briefly but then didn’t care.

Then I was again caught off guard by this guide who put in my head the most vivid picture of smiling teeth. There was a very ugly man behind the teeth but it was very obvious to me that I was meant to focus upon the teeth. I again heard, “Listen to your body”.

More awake, I began to wonder what he was going on about and why he was bothering me. I then got a visual of a body and the chakras were lit up all along the body. One by one each of the chakras lights began to go out and turn dark. Then I heard, “We are closing them”. I knew he meant my chakras. I then heard again, “Listen to your body”.

By this point I could not go back to sleep as I was a bit worried about what I had been shown and told. Was I going to have trouble with my teeth? Or was that just a sign of me being stubborn? And then why would they be closing all my chakras?

I heard a quick reply to my last thought, “To reset you”.

Of course, that makes no sense to me either but okay, whatever. I will pay attention to my body. So far I just feel very tired. I wonder, though, if I will be feeling physical symptoms of some illness or if it is related to something spiritual? As usual it is likely I will just have to play this by ear.

Dream Considerations

I can’t seem to get my dream out of my mind, especially after the message to listen to my body.

To get a computer virus in a dream suggests that something in one’s life has gotten very out of control. Pornography watching in a dream suggests one has issues with intimacy, power, control and effectiveness. I had forgotten up until now my conversation with my guide involving this dream. After he told me to listen to my body the first time I immediately thought of the dream and said, “My body wants me to have sex?” To which he replied, “Yes”. This is absurd to me. My body doesn’t want anything. It is a body! So I said back to him, “Too bad. I don’t want it”.

I am wondering if this is more symbolic, related to my transformation and energy. I can’t help but think about how my guide told me in the dream that there was nothing I could do besides wipe the hard drive on my computer or reset my phone. Then he told me my chakras were all being closed. Am I being “wiped”? Why?

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Opened Door

Last night I again had very vivid dreams, dreams that seem to be directing me and asking me to explore aspects of my Self which I have previously chosen to abandon.

Searching for Father

In the first very vivid dream I was with many orphaned young boys in a very large mansion that appeared to be a boarding school of some kind. Specifically, I was working with a boy whose father was Arnold Schwarzenegger. The boy was the bastard of Arnold and so had no real relationship with him. The other boys were in similar predicaments and I was helping them to meet their father’s for the first time.

The young Schwarzenegger stood in line very nervous. He went up some stairs and I followed with my consciousness (I do not recall having a body but seemed to follow the story and act as a guide to the child). When the child got to the door he was nervous and a loud voice boomed out to him from a speaker, asking him questions about himself. The voice was of his father and the child answered as he stood with the body guard not knowing if he would be let in.

The child was allowed in and found himself standing inside a chamber filled with odd items that I could not name. They looked like very large, blown up silver shrapnel and wires tossed about and every once in a while there appeared to be a yellow or red flash of light. I, at this time, felt to be one with the child and experienced this with him. I suddenly knew where we were: we were inside the brain of his father. I recognized instantly the items strewn about to be the neurons and pathways of the brain. The lights were the paths lightening up when a thought occurred. It was quite fascinating and all at once I realized that the brain and the body were like a robot controlled by the spirit who occupied it. I saw this first hand and knew this man in real life was allowing his body to control him more than he was controlling the body. He was the robot.

33Looking for 33

The dream changed at that point and I found myself with my great aunt (the sister of my grandmother who passed away last year). She was driving a truck and I was the passenger. She appeared happy and alert but I was distrustful of her because in real life she has dementia.

She drove along the road heading through a city. I saw road signs and heard her say the road name. I watched as we drove by it. The truck lurched and made awful noises and I swore it would fall apart. I held on for dear life.

We went past the city onto a dirt road that quickly turned rocky. Boulders stood in the way and my great aunt happily drove over them. Eventually we were forced to stop as the road dead ended in a pile of rocks and a mountain side. I explored it and saw a mirror perched on a bolder facing the mountain. I looked up and saw a handful of rugged men with wild eyes looking at us and knew this was not where we belonged. I took the mirror and flung it at them. It shattered at their feet. I turned and ran yelling behind me for a man who was with me to pick up my great aunt and bring her along.

We reentered the city and I heard the man (my guide?) say, “33 is this way. You will see it clearly”. I listened and went with him. Soon I saw a cafeteria and tables with numbers. I clearly saw table number 33 and went toward it. When we got there I saw two older black women sitting in the table. I let my middle son sit with them and opted to sit at another table next to them, table number 99. There was a nice black lady sitting at it, too.

Eventually I went over to table 33 with my son and spoke with the black ladies. They asked about my son and his growth. I said he had not gained much in weight or height. One woman said to me, “This is common of the middle and younger children in our family. They are often deformed”. I thought this odd and then asked, “I wonder, do you have abilities in your family, too? My grandmother is the only one that had them in my family”. The lady told me, “Yes, our mother had abilities. She would often confuse her other life with this one, talking about times long gone. She was thought to be crazy by some and eventually she stopped talking about it”. I knew the life her grandmother was caught up in was during the middle ages and understood. I told her, “I have control over mine”.

She then asked me, “Is there anything you are concerned about?” I thought about it and then said, “Not really, but my legs are bothering me. I have all these spider veins now”. I pointed them out to her. As I thought about what I was about to say next she said my thought back to me, “You wish you were black like me”. I answered, “Yes, especially now”. I remember wishing I were darker skin so no one would notice the spider veins and recalled my past life as a black woman.

Message: Spiritual Trauma

I awoke from the dreams instantly thinking of how I had been inside the brain of a man and then had been sitting at a table with the number 33. I wondered why I had chosen table 99 and then moved to 33. 99 means endings; that a part of my life is ending allowing for a new beginning. 33 symbolizes guidance and that all is possible at this time. I wondered briefly what it all meant.

Before I had time to think about it much further my guide began to speak to me.

“Spiritual trauma.”

All at once I was hit with knowingness. I wish I could adequately describe how this happens. It is so fast, so instantaneous, that all I can do to make sense of it is try to break it down. It is as if an entire dialogue occurs in an instant. One could say that it is “downloaded”, it happens so quickly.

I instantly knew these two little words were huge for me. My job is to help those experiencing spiritual trauma. I just knew it. I didn’t know how but the knowingness caused my heart and third chakras to activate and I lost my breath for a moment. To me, this is validation itself, big as day.

My mind went crazy with thoughts. What is spiritual trauma? What am I suppose to do? And then a realization, “So these are the instructions you told me were coming?”

My guide responded, “Yes. Just consider it” and I knew he meant I needed to listen with my heart. These were not instructions in the sense that I had to do what I was told. I could choose. I always have a choice.

I kept wondering about my dreams and the recent message, trying to make sense of it all. My guide interrupted and said, “Turn off your brain”. It stopped my thoughts and I realized what he meant. I needed to clear my thoughts and stop the whirlwind of questions. But I couldn’t. I was stuck on worrying about spiritual trauma. Was I in trauma? I did not think I was, but perhaps I had been.

My guide asked, “What are you afraid of?”

I replied, “My power”. Then I thought some more and I said, “My quick tongue. I need to think more before I speak. I often hurt others feelings when I blurt out things. I need to stop doing that”.

He replied, “The biggest challenge we face in life is fear of ourselves”.

86798832-open-door1Opened Door

I kept hearing over and over, “Turn off your brain”. So that is what I attempted to do. When I finally did, I found myself standing at a door. I was wearing a heavy winter coat and it was dark. The door began to open slowly, light pouring though. I walked through into a wintery scene but it was obvious the snow was melting. Spring was on the way. Warmth was spreading out and bringing new life to a desolate place. I saw I was standing on a sidewalk lined by large trees. Icicles were heavy on their branches and dripping with water

Recognizing what was happening I became too aware and the scene in front of me faded. I understood it to mean that something frozen in my life was thawing out. In dreams, something being frozen represents that which has been suppressed, rejected or denied. Could this vision indicate that my spiritual gifts are about to reemerge? I have for sure suppressed them for a very long time.

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This House is Haunted

After yesterday’s morning upset and some talk with friend online, I was reassured that this stage in my spiritual transformation is not uncommon and will pass as all stages and transitions do. Right now I need to focus on my life, the people I love and the purpose I came here to fulfill. The spiritual me and the physical me must stay in balance.

A friend of mine who is a veteran of the kundalini and the ascension process reminded me that we are both student and teacher in life, as we are also both spiritual and physical. She said to me:

The same must happen with Spiritual and physical– the two must become one, IN you. There is not two. There is, as the Vedantins say “One without a second”. As you ALREADY know, the Spiritual is being everything we perceive as physical. The idea, for me, and I suspect for us all is to let go the divide. To let what is happening with you (/me/us) in the dimensions happen right here in *this* dimension. To be the avenue, as it were, for the Spiritual to reach the ground level Earth-life.

It is becoming more and more clear to me that this physical experience I am choosing to participate in has so very much to do with the spiritual; that the two are one in the same. I don’t know exactly when this happened – maybe yesterday or last night or perhaps it has been on-going – but I am seeing things a little different every day. It is mostly occurring at night I believe, as last night I had yet again more interesting revelations.

They Don’t See Me

I had a very intense dream last night. In it, I was a waitress working at a restaurant and feeling very out of my element. I did a lot of cleaning and typical duties of a waitress. While cleaning I recalled seeing the door hinges were messed up. Whenever one would close the door the hinges would come loose. When I inspected them I found there were no hinges at all, just small nails. I had to reposition the nails every time but did it as that was my job. I remember also feeling unappreciated in my work and considered quitting, knowing I deserved better, but I stayed on anyway.

I became aware that the restaurant changed owners and was listening as the owner discussed physical layout changes with another waitress. I offered the help of my husband who I explained could do renovations, thinking he could fix the faulty doors. The owner nodded to me in recognition of what I said but then continued to talk to the other waitress about the changes as if he had not heard me. I again interjected saying that my husband could do it for much less than a contractor. This time the owner completely ignored me. I began to feel overwhelmed with emotion at this second rebuttal. I began thinking, “They don’t even see me. They don’t see me”. Then I started sobbing uncontrollably.

This House is Haunted

I awoke to real tears and my heart chakra pulling but not too badly. I soothed myself instantly without the aid of my guides. It was then that I heard a familiar song in my head: Dearly Departed by Shakey Graves. Being this was the third morning I awoke to this song, I took notice and instantly recognized the message.

The specific part of the song that I hear is, “You and I both know that the house is haunted. You and I both know that the ghost is of me”. Symbolically, a haunted house represents unfinished emotional business usually related to childhood, family members present and passed, or repressed memories and/or emotions. The fact that the house is haunted specifically relates to running from these things rather than confronting them resulting in a personal “haunting”. If these things are not dealt with then they can harass you much like a ghost harasses the residents of the house they haunt.

Doctor

I managed to fall back asleep quickly and fell into another dream. In this one I was at a university but I was a teacher with my own room. I don’t recall all of the details of the dream but I was helping some doctoral students with something and allowed two of them along with their professor to use my room to complete some business that needed tending to after hours. I remember watching as the professor wrote out checks and kept track of them on a ledger. I noticed that as each check was written it showed up as a debit in my personal checking account. This alarmed me and I told the professor about it as he left. Part of me did not want to pay for another person’s debts but another part did not care and was willing to let it slide.

The professor had gone and I had resigned myself to a loss in money when he returned and told me he would repay me. I then left with a young woman. We got into a push cart. It looked like something from out of the middle ages. As we lay in the cart I began to slip off and the woman got upset with me. I remember feeling like I had insulted her in some way. It was then that the professor, who I knew as “Doctor”, stopped the cart. That is when I awoke.

This is the second time that a doctor has been in my dreams. The first time was an OBE where a man I met actually told me he was a doctor. I do not need to be told anymore directly that there is a message here.

To see or go to a doctor in a dream suggests that spiritual and emotional healing is needed. It could also indicate physical issues and the need to go to a real life doctor.

Physical Issues

Aside from the myriad of emotional issues I carry with me, which I will not go into now, I have been having some minor physical issues lately. I have also been led to research some things regarding these issues and have my theories about what might be happening.

I will not/cannot assume these are all ascension symptoms, especially now that I am taking a break from the spiritual changes I was going through. Here are the issues I have at present:

  1. Vision changes, especially my left eye. I wear contacts and this week my vision has suffered. I believe it is a change in the shape of my eye rather than an increase in my prescription because I see fine out of my glasses. I plan to make an appointment with an eye doctor to remedy this but delay because I still have five pairs of contact lenses left from my old prescription.
  2. Severely dry skin. This has been slowly getting worse and worse. Recently I got a patch of eczema on my arm and that was when I began to research it. I bought some organic seaweed bath called Aalgo that I found while doing a Google search. Thankfully it has been working like a charm and within two treatments eradicated the small spot of eczema I had. I used it on my face, which has also been extremely dry, flaky, and acne prone. I have noticed marked improvement there as well. I highly recommend Aalgo to anyone suffering from skin issues.
  3. Achy legs and increase in spider veins. I have long dealt with bad circulation and gross spider veins. They have never been an issue other than making me hate to show my legs and really they are not that noticeable. But lately my legs have been aching in the morning and my right leg is looking much worse. I am considering going to a vein specialist to have them treated but upon comparing my legs to those who have gotten treatment I recognized I am overreacting. I did start taking niacin because it was recommended to help with circulation. It has been helping.
  4. Cold hands and feet. I have always had cold hands and feet. My lips will even turn purple sometimes! This has been throughout my entire life but has been much more prominent lately. A coworker years ago suggested I may have Raynaud’s but I am not sure about that and if I do then there is not much I can do about it. My mom has the same symptoms and so I assume it is hereditary. The cold feet are the worst and keep me from sleeping.
  5. Numbness in legs and hands. This only happens when I sleep. It wakes me up and I have to move my hand and/or leg to fix it so I can go back to sleep. I am not sleeping oddly or anything, they are just numb and tingly. I am usually sleeping on my back when my hands are tingly and it is normally my left hand. I am sleeping on my side when I have tingling/numbness in my legs. Usually it is only one leg and the one I am sleeping on. I would not think it a big deal except that is has been on-going for several months now.

I know I should just schedule a physical and get checked out. I was suppose to have my thyroid checked when I was pregnant because I was sweating profusely for no reason. I never had it done. I suspect it may be the problem now but then again none of the symptoms really match up to hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. It was mentioned to me that this break to focus upon the physical could be to get me to focus more on a healthy lifestyle. Now with this doctor theme in my dreams I am beginning to think it very well could be.

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Graduated

I have been trying to make sense out of what is happening to me ever since my kundalini experience on the 12th. I am stumped. Why would all of that happen and then suddenly stop? Not only that, but the OBEs and lucid dreams that led up to the kundalini stopped as well. I feel as if I were built up and built up with exciting prospects for change only to be allowed to fall back down and be left to ponder what happened and flounder about in the physical. I feel completely let down and abandoned.

No More School

In a dream I visited a university campus. I felt very at home there and wished to stay but I knew it was just a visit. This saddened me and I spent as much time as I could there mingling with other students and visiting areas of the campus I was familiar with.

I recall going to the lobby of the dorms and seeing other students waiting in line for the keys to their mail boxes. I told them they would be waiting a while because I had waited and never gotten my keys. I then stopped and ate some chocolate fudge that was left there for the students. When I turned to look back, the students had gotten their mailbox keys. I wondered why I never got mine and it bothered me.

I went into the elevator and a young man pushed the number 6 and then the number 7. I thanked him, thinking he pushed the number 6 for me since that was my floor, but he looked at me strangely and I quickly realized he had just pushed his own floor number. I got out at the sixth floor and then found myself going back down and to the gym available to the students of the university. I watched the students going into the gym and waited, deciding to come back later and leaving again for my room to get my ID. I never went back because there was no ID to get. I was not going to be a student anymore. I graduated.

I met up with some rough looking guys, people I would never hang out with. I talked to them but I do not remember what we talked about. I left the university with them, though, and headed on a road out of town. I was in the lead driving but had no car, it was more like I was floating. I had to stop at a car wash where there was lined up many trucks. They left only one lane of traffic and I led the others out and around the parked trucks.

The dream ended with me grieving about not getting to stay. I told someone who was with me, “I want to stay here”. As I grieved I felt my root chakra activate and huge amounts of the energy shot up through me and into my physical body. I did not wake up, which would be the usual. Instead I continued in the dream and in grief.

Graduated

I woke up feeling very disappointed and sad. Though I did not get a direct message, I knew what the dream meant. I was no longer going to be going to “school”. I had graduated. I got the message earlier in the week that I had graduated but I assumed it meant I went to a new school and that more was awaiting me. I had gotten my hopes up for nothing. There would be no more school. I was done with whatever it was I was doing. I am not even sure now what that was. Maybe it was “ascension” or maybe it was just an adjustment of some sort. I do know that nothing is going on now. I am back to “normal”, or maybe even below normal as I am not having much in the way of spiritual experiences.

I tried to go back to sleep and soon found myself walking through a door that led into a dark room. My awareness peaked suddenly and I began to cry as I realized where I was and what was happening. I was being brought into a room by one of my guides. It was dimly lit but my vision turned on suddenly with my awareness and I saw lanterns lit along the sides of the room. It was a golden color and the feeling was that I was being brought in to receive a message.

Unfortunately, my awareness was too much and so I stopped the encounter with my guide before it began. I was only able to receive the calming energy that hit me in waves starting in my left side and radiating out my right side and up and down my entire body. I was too upset to allow it to continue for long, though. I told my guide immediately that I felt abandoned. He, of course, told me instantly that was not the case. I did not want to hear what he had to say. I knew he was going to tell me that I was done with whatever I had been doing, that the original plan had been changed, reasons unknown to me.

I got very upset because there is little I enjoy about the physical life I live right now. I look forward only to my sleep where I can escape into dreams that hopefully will turn lucid or where I can go OOB. Each morning when I wake up to realize I have once again not been allowed these little pleasures leaves me feeling that much more disinterested in life.

I was told this later on this morning:

To remain balanced between the Spiritual and the physical is a challenge few take on. It is worthy of only a few and you are one of the few. Beware indulgence in one or the other for you are both and to deny one is to deny part of yourself.

This only confirmed what I had assumed – that I am not continuing the spiritual transformation at this time because I need to focus on the physical. It is very frustrating because all the physical has to offer me is less than pleasant. For example, my baby is going through the clingy stage. If he is not in my lap or in my arms then he is crying non-stop. I cannot be alone without having to endure his cries, which to a mother is total torture. I would like nothing better than to fast forward time past this stage for it is my least favorite. I see so many women my age celebrating the graduation of their children and I envy them. Why did I wait so long to have children? I am too old for this.

I am told that it is time to move to the next “level” – whatever that means. From what I can make of the information I came back with from dreamland this morning, that level involves being a “teacher”. All I can think of is the countless days ahead of me spent tending to my children and it is overwhelming. I have concluded that I am just not very good at being a mother. Yet that seems to be what my guides are pushing me to focus upon. I would much rather have to endure a catastrophe where a bomb hits my house and I suffer horrible pain but then die a quick death than endure the suffering of a mother. Perhaps that is the “warrior” in me coming out. I have to laugh a bit at this because most would not want the pain of a horrible death and here I am not a bit afraid of that yet terrified of the prospect of being a mom! Ha!

Touche.

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Upside Down Tree

A couple of days ago I had the urge to do a handstand. I ignored it, actually laughing to myself as I imagined how funny I would look upside down. I don’t know where the thought came from or why and I really didn’t think much about it.

That night I awoke between dreams and in my mind I saw the image of an upside down tree. The roots were in the air and the leaves were under the ground. The roots were not bare, either. They had white circles or leaves coming up off of them.

I found the image intriguing and thought I should paint it. I had no reason to think it might be connected to the handstand idea I had.

The next day I did a Google search to find out if the image I saw in my mind existed somewhere else. Maybe someone had seen it, too? Maybe it had meaning I did not know about.

I discovered many such pictures online, none exactly like the one I saw. What was interesting to me was that the upside down tree is linked to a yoga pose. When I discovered the link to yoga, I recalled my idea to do a handstand the day before. So! It wasn’t just a funny thought that passed through my mind! It must have been a message that I ignored because it seemed so ridiculous.

yoga-pose-handstand-8510-2Handstand Pose

From what I found in my research, handstand pose is one of the most difficult yoga poses. Besides the physical benefits of the pose – strengthening the shoulders, cardiovascular system, lungs, and lymphatic  system – there are numerous spiritual benefits. Spiritually, the pose is empowering, challenging, and liberating as it creates a new perspective by literally turning the world upside down. It also helps one get past the fear of the unknown.

In my research I stumbled upon a blog that explains exactly why I saw this inverted tree in my vision:

To be upside down instead of right side up, is paradoxical, it is uttanita. Uttanita in Sanskrit means to expand your awareness and shift your perspective, to see something in a new way. Uttanita means, flip it, the opposite is true and what is reality, truth, is the reality you don’t see. The world and your experience shows you ‘reality’, and the paradox is there is a whole reality that you don’t see or experience. (We know like 4-5% of the Universe, the rest is the hidden reality known as dark energy and dark matter, we don’t  see.) Uttanita is the revelation of that which is concealed, when you can shift your perspective to see that which is hidden.

The author goes on to say:

Adho mukha vrksasana is Sanskrit for downward facing tree pose, also known as Handstand. One of the philosophical roots of the asana (posture) of Handstand is from a 2000 +/- yr old yogic Vedic text called the Upanishads, a compilation of yogi sage’s wisdom. The Katha Upanishad says: “This universe is a tree eternally existing, its roots above, it’s branches on earth below. It’s pure root is Brahman, the immortal, from whom all the worlds draw their life, and whom none can transcend, for this Self is supreme.” Another yogic scriptural reference for the pose is the Asvatta Tree of Consciousness, from the Bhagavad Gita, Vs 15:1,2. “The shastras speak of the imperishable ashvatta tree as having its roots above and branches below; Its leaves are the Vedic hymns, and he who knows this is a knower of the Vedas. It’s branches extend below and above, and being nourished by the gunas create the entire universe with sense objects as sprouts; below in the world of humans stretch for the the roots promoting action. “

Synchronicity

For me the message to try to tackle this pose goes along with a major dream theme I have been encountering: embracing the feminine side. It also suggests that I need to view the world from a new perspective. My many masculine qualities tend to overshadow my feminine ones. I view life as a problem that needs a solution rather than just view it passively and without confrontation. In many ways I act like a warrior, ever on the lookout for the next attack. This makes me feel very uncomfortable in my own skin, pacing about and overly anxious.

The dream symbols I have encountered are strikingly obvious as to the message they bring. In one dream I saw a wounded deer. I thought the deer was dead but it looked so alive I took a closer look. I saw that its hind leg was injured and appeared to be imbedded in the ground. Unable to move, it was slowly starving to death. I recall thinking someone should just put it out of its misery, but I also had huge amounts of sympathy for it. I wanted to go back to help but also wanted to kill it. I couldn’t figure out which would be best.

danideer2.jpg w=900The deer is a symbol of femininity, grace and nurturing. It being wounded suggests that this quality in myself is “wounded” and my desire to “kill” it while also wanting to “help” it suggests I am at odds with accepting this part of myself.

I also had a dream where I was adopting a baby because it had been abandoned. I chose a girl baby over the boy only because the boy babies father took him in. I was left with the girl and look upon the boy longingly.

Just last night I dreamed of another baby. This one lost its left arm.

Babies are very similar to deer in their symbolism. They represent innocence, warmth, purity, vulnerability and helplessness. Loss of the left arm suggests that these qualities are missing in my life. Adoption symbolizes taking on something new or different. In this case the qualities of the baby represent qualities within me that I am denying. I am being asked, “What is missing in your life?”

Upside Down Tree

I tried to do a handstand but failed miserably. I will keep working on it, though. I suspect it will help since yoga has been so helpful to me thus far. The image of the upside down tree is still very vivid in my mind. The roots reaching to the sky represent Oneness while the leaves below represent the Earth and life upon it; our individuality via human experience. I suspect that the pose will help me to better recognize this Oneness.

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Cancelled

It has been a while since I have gotten any direct messages from my guides. It has almost felt as if I had been abandoned, though I know this is never the case. The entourage of 10 or 12 assistants/guides that have been with me since before December 12th recently dwindled back down to my normal 4, or my Team as I call them. Last night, however, the number increased back to 10. So, I suppose it should not have been a surprise that a message came soon after.

Becoming a Man

I had some odd dreams again and feel the need to include them since they came before the messages I received.

The first dream I recall is being with a tall, strong man. I don’t remember what he looked like, just the way he felt. His energy felt very large compared to mine and it surrounded me protectively, almost like a parent keeping an eye on their child.

We were talking about my need to pass as a man and I was being directed to pick out appropriate clothing at a store. I selected a large sweatshirt and jeans but when I put them on they were way too big. This I knew would be the case and I told my guide, “I told you they would be too big”. I then selected a medium sized shirt and pants and the same occurred. I remember thinking there was no way I would pass as a man. I was just too small. I told my guide that even a mens size small would be large on me. I never did try on the smallest size but instead thought about how tiny my female frame was and how difficult it would be to pass as a man.

Montana

The next dream I had was of being in Montana. Initially, I was in a store with my son. He had just woken up and was very hungry and grumpy. I walked along the isles looking specifically for an Odwalla drink, the green one, but I could not find one. Eventually I asked for help and the lady began to look up the drink on the computer while he associate gave my son a tiny pizza to make him happy. I accidentally dropped the pizza on the floor and picked it up while thanking the man. I never did get my drink.

When we left we traveled a wide dirt road. We encountered a group of men and one was carrying over the top of his head a large cow. It was wrapped up and huge and I remarked how I could never carry a cow that large but that I had cow tied one when I was small. Another man was there and took an interest, inquiring about where I was from. He was tall with blond hair and a rugged appearance.

He walked with me toward our land through the mountain passage. Somehow we ended up in his house. I became uncomfortable because I knew he was trying to distract me from going home. He took me into a room and asked me how I liked the house. I told him it was nice but I needed to get home. He then came closer and began to kiss me. I recall that he had slobbery kisses and the taste was not pleasant. I withdrew frommountain lake him pointing to my daughter who was sleeping in my arms (she is six so she was very big and I was holding her). He accepted this excuse but I was very uncomfortable by then and just wanted to get home.

Another man was there and they both questioned me about where we lived. I described it and they got out a map asking me to show where it was. I explained the property had been subdivided and showed where it was. The blonde man called to inquire about it and I remember him saying, “No, we are 1 and 2 not 3”. I recall wondering what he was talking about and recalling that our land was not in Montana but much farther south. I then asked my Mom, who was suddenly there with me, if she remembered the exit to our land. She nodded and said she did and I saw it in my mind, a tiny side road hidden in brush along the main route.

Disassembling Skeletons

I immediately found myself in a dream where I was standing in front of large animal skeletons. My job was to disassemble them. I took apart large bones, realizing they were cow bones or bones of a similar large animal. After I took off a bone I placed it in a simple white bag to be stored. I noticed that some of the bones had metal loops and screws in them where they were connected.

Symbolism of the above dreams:

Cow – symbolizes one’s docile nature; maternal instincts. The cow was bound in one dream suggesting a rejection of these qualities in myself. The bones of a cow suggest a lack of motherly emotions.

Shopping – represents one’s needs and desires. There is a selection process going on – choices being made or inspected.

Property – symbolizes feeling unstable in life; can also represent one’s current status in life. Since the property was broken up it may represent my feeling of being broken up in life.

Montana/mountains – represent determination and ambition as well as the higher spiritual realms. For me, I have actually lived in Montana so there may still remain some aspects from that time in my life that need to be addressed.

Messages

Upon waking from the last dream I saw in front of me a message being written. It was in glowing green letters and moved as if someone were writing it as I was reading it. It read:

“……has been cancelled……..”.

There was more to the sentence but I cannot remember the beginning or the end. The words disappeared as I recognized the word cancelled. I immediately wondered what it meant. I asked but received no answer. I understood it to mean that some plan or karmic debt had been cancelled or erased. I would no longer be addressing it in this life.

It appears that again some changes have been made to my plan. I did not feel good or bad with the receiving of this information. If anything, I felt a bit concerned. I asked if it meant my transformation would end. I was told, “No”, very firmly.

I fell back into the in-between state and found myself speaking to my guide. I got the same strong, protective and large feeling from his energy. He was standing and passing out something. He handed over to me a parcel of land. I saw a chunk of land broken off from a large piece and then it was passed over to me. It reminded me of a board game. The land was brown and two dimensional. Then gave me a set of golden keys. He said to me, “We will be here to help you”.

I immediately came out of my revere wondering what it meant. Why was he giving me keys to land? Was I going to get land? A house? I immediately thought it must be symbolic.

The symbolism of being given property and the feeling it gave me when I saw it was that a big change would occur in my life, one that separated me from my family in some way. The keys that come with it are gold and the symbolic meaning of this is that I will need to be adaptable to the changes but they will bring with them new opportunity and possibilities related to wealth and status.

I also heard the song Riptide by Vance Joy but only this part:

I just wanna, I just wanna know
If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay
I just gotta, I just gotta know
I can’t have it, I can’t have it any other way

Except I was singing the lyrics differently in my head. I was saying, “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna go. I just wanna, I just wanna stay”. I was hearing this more than singing it and it hung around in my head until I got out of bed.

Considerations

I went to bed last night feeling very odd. I have been feeling it a lot lately. I am having trouble seeing my life ahead. There is nothing there. No plans. No change. No feeling. I feel done with life and I don’t look forward to much of anything anymore. The same feeling of not enjoying anything that I use to enjoy has come back and it bothers me. I can’t seem to change it, either. So I asked for help. I guess that is why I got those messages. I am receiving that help, was told as much, but there is so much information missing. I just hope it is not anything bad. I don’t think I can handle anything bad. I need good things to happen now, not bad things.

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Blue Jay

Today as I was going about my day, I noticed a huge blue jay sitting on my back fence. He just happened to be in the same spot where I saw the leaves of a tree formed into the perfect seven not long ago. I stopped what I was doing and watched him. He was beautiful and so magnificently marked. Blue jays are not around much here where I live so to see one is rare. I immediately took note that he may be bringing me a message.

Blue Jay Symbolism

From Animal Speak by Ted Andrews.

The blue jay has long been thought of as a bully and a robber, and although it can have those tendencies, it has other qualities that make it stand out positively. For those to whom the jay comes as a totem, it can reflect lessons in using your own power properly. It can also reflect lessons in not allowing yourself to be placed in a position in which power is misused against you.

The word ‘jay’ comes from the Latin ‘gaia’ or ‘gaea’ which has associations to Mother Earth. In Greek mythology, the union of Mother Earth (Gaea) and Father Heaven (Uranus) resulted in the first creatures who had the appearance of life. This reflects much about the intrinsic power associated with the jay. It has the ability to link the heavens and earth, to access each for greater power.

The black and white markings found on its blue wings also reflect this same ability. The sky (blue) separates the Heavens (white) and the earth (black). This is a totem that can move between both and tap the primal energies at either level. The jay is aware of this innate ability, and this is reflected in its blue crest–higher knowledge that can be used.

The main problem will be in dabbling in both worlds, rather than becoming a true master of both. Those with a jay as a totem usually have a tremendous amount of ability, but it can be scattered or it is often not developed any more than is necessary to get by. it is not unusual to find individuals with blue jays as totems to be dabblers–especially in the psychic and metaphysical field. They know a little bit about a a lot of things, and they use that knowledge sometimes to give the impression they know more, or that they are true masters.

The bright blue crest of the jay should always be a reminder that to wear the crown of true mastership requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all things in the physical and spiritual. The blue jay is a reminder to follow through on all things–to not start something and then leave it dangling.

The blue jay reflects that a time of greater resourcefulness and adaptability is about to unfold. You are going to have ample opportunities to develop and use your abilities. The jay does not usually migrate, staying around all winter, so look for there to be ample time to develop and use your energies to access new levels. It will stay around and work with you as long as you need it.

The blue jay is actually a member of the crow family, and most crows have no fear. Crows and jays alike will gang up to harass and drive off owls and hawks. The jay is fearless, and it is because of this that it can help you to connect with the deepest mysteries of the earth and the greatest of the heavens.

The blue jay is an excellent mimic, with a sharp eye and voice. It especially has a wonderful knack for imitating red-shouldered hawks. Old-time naturalists were convinced the blue jay derived pleasure from this activity. As with all members of its family, this sense of seeking pleasure–often at the expense of others–can reflect an imbalance. Sometimes jays show up when this is occurring in your own life.

Blue jays have a tremendous ability for survival with the least amount of effort. They reflect great talent, but that talent must be developed and utilized properly. If the jay has flown into your life, it indicates that you are moving into a time where you can begin to develop the innate royalty that is within you, or imply be pretender to the throne. It all depends on you. The jay has no qualms. It will teach you either direction.

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The Incompletes

Last night I had an uneasy feeling before bed. I instantly knew it had something to do with a mother figure and so assumed it was my mother-in-law since she has been doing very poorly. I had sensed previously that she does not have long left on this Earth – two years give or take a year to be exact. I could not get my heart to calm down after this feeling hit me. It is like it knew what I didn’t consciously know yet.

The Incompletes

I had a very upsetting and emotional dream last night. In the dream, I had just heard that my mother had died. It was unexpected and I was told a couple of days after it happened. I was devastated and experienced grief beyond description. I cried so hard that I could not breathe and it felt as if my entire midsection and heart had been ripped from my chest and stomped upon. In the aftermath of her death, I watched as her new husband first went through shock and then an intense grief of his own. Newly married, they had not had much time together. His previous wife had also died so this devastating loss was much more than he could bear. I watched as he walked about, head down and shoulders slumped, as if awaiting his own death.

Throughout the dream I cried and in between my bouts of grief I learned more details of my mother’s death. I learned them from my mother herself as she spoke to me from the Other Side.

The idea to speak to my mother directly came to me from within the dream and I calmed instantly and began to hear what she had to say. She told me how she died, saying it was a sudden heart attack that hit her during her waking hours. She collapsed as her heart failed her and she died almost instantly. I had hoped she had died in her sleep, so this disappointed me.

I remember asking her what would happen to her belongings – the house, dogs, etc – and recalling that she had written all her children into her will. She told me there was a problem, she had not updated her will since her marriage and by law all her property would go to her husband by default regardless of what her will stated. I felt as if being told of this conflict was in part for me to help prevent it, but at the time I did not really care. I only worried about her husband as he would not care either and would likely not last long after her death.

I then asked her when this would happen and she said, “The 21st” and I assumed it meant of this month. I then asked her if she had completed her transition after death and she said, “No. That will happen in July”. It seemed a long time to me but I just listened, still overcome with grief at losing her.

I kept fighting my grief and it would hit me suddenly and with such intensity that I wished myself dead to avoid it. In between these times I had clarity and calm and it was during these times that i would hear my Mom and receive her messages. One message in particular stands out to me.

My mother told me this: “There are soldiers coming down now. All us Intermediates are leaving”. I immediately recognized the part about the “soldiers” and thought there must be a war coming. I wondered, though, about these “Intermediates” as she called them. I assumed they were those who had not completed their transformation for one reason or the other and so were leaving now to return at a later date and complete it.

I again became overwrought with grief to the point that I could not breathe. My body shook and I woke up, tears streaming down my cheeks.

What Does it Mean

Waking up in tears from such a vivid dream about my own mother’s death really upset me. Was this a precognitive dream? Or does it symbolize something else? I got the dates of January 21st and July of this year. Is that about my Mom? Or is it about me and some symbolic “death” I will be going through this year? Maybe it is both?

I can never be certain if a dream is precognitive until after the time period passes when whatever is foretold should happen. The feeling I had from the dream suggests it is very much a possibility that death could be visiting my family again this year and that it could wreak havoc if things are not in order when/if it does happen. However, I am not very good at foretelling the future of those closest to me. My strong emotional attachment often skews the information. Yet I get told many things in my dreams and via my guides and when I receive information this way it is always true.

I plan to talk to my mother about my dream to at least forewarn her of the problems that could result if she does not update her will. She will listen, she always does, but she will take it with a grain of salt (I hope). I don’t like telling people of my precognitions, especially when death is involved, but in this case I feel I must.

Ego Death or Something Else?

As for the Intermediates and soldiers my mother spoke to me about in my dream, the information about them was not surprising to me. It was as if she was reminding me of them rather than telling me for the first time. I have long had visions that there are currently thousands of souls coming to Earth now with a unique purpose. I see them as streamers of light coming down from the Heavens. I have also previously had messages sent to me of an upcoming period of crisis that would result in the loss of millions of lives and change the way people lived. These souls can be seen as “soldiers” of both real war and a different, spiritual war.

As for the Intermediates, I have also gotten precognitive glimpses of such a group. When my husband’s boss and wife died last year, I got this message clearly and saw that many were choosing to end their reincarnations now so they could come back and help with the “adjustment” that the newer souls would be going through. There is a peak in the number of these souls – “soldiers” – coming in 2020. As they will be children first before they grow into their purpose, they will be confused and in dire need of guidance. I have seen myself as one of these human guides and assumed it meant I would leave this life before 2020 so as to be back in time to help.

I questioned my guide as to my accuracy in translating what I have seen and been told. I was not given a direct answer. I asked if I was one of these “Intermediates” and was told, “Yes”. But I wonder if I will truly “die” and join the other Intermediates or if I will continue with my transformation in this life first. I am confused because, though it feels like I will be leaving this body prior to 2020, it could be the infamous Ego death so many are talking about. I wonder, which is it?

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Harmonizing Earth

I wanted to start with a short update on the symptoms I have been experiencing this week.

  • Low energy
  • Fatigue
  • Deep, nearly dreamless sleep
  • Energy fluctuations
  • Mood swings
  • Voracious appetite
  • Root, second, third, fourth, third eye and crown chakra buzzing/activation
  • No lucid dreams or OBEs since the 12th
  • Headache (mild)
  • Neck ache (mild)
  • Lower backache (moderate)
  • Digestive changes (mild)
  • Body temperature fluctuations; feeling cold more than hot
  • Sweating, mostly in the mornings even when not hot

Sleep

I have been experiencing the deepest, most sound sleep I have had since I was a teenager. I am also sleeping almost as long as I did when I was a teenager. For me this is surprising as I have not been a sound sleeper since I stopped taking the antidepressant Zoloft. A side effect of stopping the antidepressant which I took at very low doses caused me to become a very light sleeper. I have had to wear earplugs to bed every night since in order to not be woken up by any little noise in the night. I have fought insomnia on and off since 2006, the worst of which occurred from 2012-2013. I have been blessed with good sleep since the start of 2014 but had to still use earplugs and Benadryl nightly.

I was instructed to stop taking the Benadryl three nights ago. I worried I would not sleep as well and would wake frequently in the night. The exact opposite occurred. I slept better and woke fewer times. In fact, one night I slept so deep that I woke up nearly peeing my pants (blush)! This is unheard of for me! Usually the only reason I wake up now is because I have to use the restroom and it is almost always 6-7 hours after falling asleep. I also am extremely drowsy when I wake up even after more than 10 hours of sleep. One morning I felt like I did after my c-section when I was anemic. It is a wonderful, floaty feeling that I relished that week after surgery and it came back to me on the 20th with such intensity that I had to force myself to get out of bed that morning.

Hungry

In addition to sleeping so much more than usual, I am hungrier than usual as well. This morning when I woke at 4am to use the bathroom I could not go back to sleep without eating something because I got an intense hunger that would not go away. I ate a good balance of protein and carbohydrates and then fell immediately back into a deep slumber.

The morning before I woke up so hungry that I felt sick and had to eat as quickly as possible so that I avoided blacking out. I was also filled with such anger at waking up that I kept hearing my inner voice say “eat” over and over and knew that my emotional response was a direct result of my low blood sugar. My “morning monster” was in rare form and I am glad I did not say or do things that I would later regret. Instead I mainly thought them and did not let the beast out on a rampage. Once I ate I felt so much better but the negative emotions lingered for some time. Later in the day I was again hit with similar emotions and frustration only for them to vanish as soon as I ate.

What is extremely weird about my increased hunger is that I have decreased my physical activity substantially since last weekend. I am only walking or doing yoga rather than my normal high intensity intervals (HIIT) and circuit training. I now recognize the reason I was instructed to stop the high intensity routines – my body is already working overtime enough and adding more to that load could put me into adrenal fatigue.

Erron – “Mountain of Strength”

My biggest upset since the 12th has been my almost complete loss of OBEs and near lack of dreams at night. I love my OBEs and without them I have been a very upset. Yesterday I was really mad because I have been requesting to astral for many days in a row and each time I felt it would not happen and it didn’t. Last night was no exception. I am not concerned anymore about it because I know they will return at some point and that I need this time to sleep and recover, but I still miss my OOB excursions.

When I woke at 4am this morning, I was a walking zombie as I stumbled about in the dark to find the restroom. Interestingly, I received and unexpected message as I groped blindly for the lights. In my mind I saw the name: “Erron”. It was spelled out in front of my mind’s eye and then pronounced very clearly: Er-Ron with the emphasis on the “Ron” part. This, of course, woke me up some and when I returned to bed I asked him who he was. I asked, “Are you an angel? An ascended master or something? (laughing)” He replied, “I am a friend”. I asked (still laughing), “Am I suppose the channel you?” He replied, “If you want”.

I stopped making jokes because he was very obviously not joining in on the fun. I then remembered yesterday that I had “heard” or perhaps just “remembered” that they (my Team) were requesting additional assistance in the form of “family” to help me through this difficult time. I remember recognizing this tidbit of information and thinking that I would soon see my grandfather, grandmother or father either in a dream or in a visit during the day. This is not uncommon for me so I just shrugged it off and forgot about it.

As soon I my thought surfaced, Erron responded to it, “Yes. I am your ‘family'”. I then thought back, “Ah, I guess we are all family” and he responded with agreement.

I wondered what exactly this “difficult time” was and what Erron was helping me with. He told me specifically that there was adjustment being made to my amygdalae. I knew this was part of my brain but that was the extent of my knowledge so I just let it be. He then told me that I was harmonizing with the Earth and I saw in my mind a couple of websites, as if he wanted me to research this when I woke up. I acknowledged this information and thought about music and how each person’s individual vibration is like their song. Each of our songs creates the music, the harmony, of Earth. I liked this analogy and it made sense to me why music made me feel so good. I was then told, “The Earth is our song” and I imagined each of us “singing” through our raised vibrations, our lights increasing and joining to brighten this world and bring it out of darkness.

As I contemplated our conversations, my crown chakra began to buzz and expand as did my third eye. My entire head felt alive with energy. I continued to try and focus on what I was being told. The last thing I heard was, “Abraham-Hicks”.  It was not long after that I fell back to sleep, my head abuzz with a soft, loving energy.

Research

When I woke up this morning I researched the name Erron (Eron) and found that it means “mountain of strength” in Hebrew.I immediately liked the name and the message that came with it. I would love to be a “mountain of strength”!

I then researched the amygdala. I found that the amygdalae (there are two on either side of the brain) are a set of small almond-shaped clusters of nuclei, located deep within our brain’s temporal lobe. They play a huge part in processing emotions and are the reacting part of the brain. Two hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, are released into the body by amygdala activation. When too much of either of these is released, specifically during extended periods of stress, there can be negative physical and emotional effects, one of which is – you guessed it – adrenal fatigue.

I discovered information on ways to help over activating the amygdalae. Interestingly, all of the suggestions correspond to the “instructions” I received about changing my diet and staying grounded. The top suggestion is to avoid negative situations and people. The next is to avoid stimulants like coffee and nicotine. This is followed by eating a balanced, whole foods diet and eating frequent meals to maintain blood sugar levels. Finally, controlling the mind and exercising regularly are also suggested. It is especially important to avoid these things if you are empathic, meaning you are easily influenced by the energies and emotions of others. I am indeed empathic, always have been, and have struggled to not be the effects of others emotions and energy my entire life. So it makes sense to me that my body would react equally as much in response.

Finally, I researched “harmonizing Earth” and “Earth harmonics”. I did not find anything significant or that felt right in my research. Maybe I will find more in time, but for now I will stick with the analogy of vibration being music. I like it and it makes sense to me. The Earth’s song is changing and my voice is part of that change. Indeed.

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Inner Sight

I did not sleep much last night and as I type this my eyes are heavy and my head is slightly aching in the right frontal cortex. Even though last night’s vibrations were exciting, I kind of wish they would have not continued so far into the night so I could have gotten more sleep. I have to work today so there is not much I can do except to continue through my day.

Symptom Update

A quick symptom update before I proceed:

  • Headache
  • Twitching in my left side and back (last night only)
  • Neck ache
  • Vision fluctuations
  • Interrupted sleep
  • Visual phenomenon
  • Buzzing sensations in head and third eye
  • Disorientation
  • Buzzing behind eyes and on either side of nose (forms a mask of energy)
  • Dry eyes (this could be from sleep deprivation)
  • Profuse sweating (in the morning)
  • Ear ringing (left ear only last night)

Inner Sight

I was told I would be given more information this morning about what occurred last night. I received some information in my sleep and between sleep during the night. There were intense energy spikes in my head area all night long, some of which caused my lower body to jerk, but this was infrequent. As I mentioned in my last post, I awakened to a familiar state three times after my initial strange experience. The familiar state is the deep trance state I covered in another post. Basically, my head felt expansive and surrounded by a soft energy that felt dense. The energy came in through the base of my neck and shot out through my third eye in what I can only describe as an intense, white light. I did not “see” a light but I sensed a tunnel forming in front of my eyes which heightened my interest. It is this tunnel that leads to conscious exit of the physical body. I have witnessed it before years ago when I spent over a month attempting nightly to consciously exit my body. I finally accomplished conscious exit but found I struggled to remain OOB. If I were to have surrendered like I was instructed I would have gone into the tunnel, passed through the “void” and into likely unfamiliar territory, though it is possible that I may have just gone OOB and gotten to explore as is my usual.

The odd experience I was unable to put into words remains that way. I honestly do not think there are words accurate enough to describe what happened. I do feel I tapped into a very ancient part of myself and that some kind of outward projection was achieved. I was witness to this projection but also the projection itself. This “splitting of consciousness” had a very confusing effect on my physical self. I was/am unable to comprehend it completely. I fell back into my body at the end of this experience feeling disoriented and alarmed, though this was only in my mind. My body was relaxed and completely oblivious to what happened. There were not even any vibrations which is the norm upon reentry.

I will say that my memory of the experience came back more fully as I returned to sleep and experienced continual vibrations in my head. The actual moment I felt part of my consciousness rise up and out of me there was an intensity of energy in my crown and third eye. It felt as if the top of my head exploded outward. At the same time, I saw this other me from behind, his long, blonde hair flowing behind him as he went away from me. I felt myself following him and being pulled upward as well. This movement upward is what wakened me. It felt very much like a conscious exit from my body and I sadly feel it ended prematurely because of my heightened awareness and my inability to shut off my mind as I had been instructed to do.

In my early years of OBEs I had mastered the ability to control my emotions and my mind so that I could remain out of body for many hours at a time. I spent many OBEs prior to this in sessions learning to master my emotions and my mind as these two things were quite a hindrance to my development. I recall the moment I achieved this ability. I was able to distance myself from the heightened emotions that so often overwhelmed me when I left my body. I became a quiet observer rather than a participant and as long as I remained the observer I was able to stay OOB.

Message

As I type this I realize that the message I was told I would get in fact was received but only now am I recalling it. During the buzzing in my head and intensity of energy in my third eyes, I knew suddenly with much clarity that I would eventually have similar experiences while awake – that it would be something I could “turn on” if I wanted. It is not necessarily the vibrations that I would turn on but the “sight”. The vibrations, I am told, will eventually barely be noticeable as I will adjust to the strange sensations that come with them.

I did not spend much time considering it at the time I received this message/knowingness yet now I am wondering how something like that will work. I am curious now. I am also thinking this is all just too weird to be real.