Category Archives: Miscellaneous

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Celebrating Me

I decided at the last minute to participate in Litebeing’s Magnificent Challenge. The challenge is simply to write about your “you-ness”. You would think it an easy task, but for me, it is not because I have been trying to figure out who I am my entire life. 🙂

Let’s start with the basics. In this physical form that which I am is composed of all the labels that have been given to me (and taken away). Some of the ones I identify most with are: mother, daughter, teacher, counselor, sibling, singer, writer, nature lover, animal lover, artist, loner, realist, helper, and wife. These are ones that identify my “roles” in life mainly- the ones you tend to answer with when someone asks you to tell them about yourself. These are the “expected” answers, and I, like a good little girl (woman) like to give what is expected (usually) and avoid the uncomfortable situations that result from a dose of my reality.

There are also those identifying labels that tend to come up after you get to know me. Then you find out I am a Leo, knowledge-seeker, Lightworker, Wayshower, Gridworker, Gatekeeper, member of the GFL groundcrew, Volunteer,  Starseed, astral projector, walk-in, braided soul, medium, psychic, medical intuitive, traveler between worlds, explorer of other dimensions, Contactee, etc. Very few people ever meet this me in person. Many more know me only on-line.

But if you go deeper and toss the labels, it gets a lot harder to describe one’s self. How does one even do that? We are limited by human language and there is so much more to us than what we can verbalize.

So then, I will give you the sensory stuff along with who I have found myself to be outside the constraints of this physical form (meaning while OOB or experiencing altered states of consciousness not necessarily drug induced). My color is mostly golden with specks of blue, indigo and violet. This is lately – within the last year. A few years ago it was primarily blue and green.

The sound would likely be a song of some sort, maybe an orchestra playing with colors and light flashing with each tone played (or heard since there would be no instruments really). Imagine seeing the sound. Yep. That’s how it would be. And the sound itself would be part of who you are, who I am. One and the same. Hard to imagine, but I have experienced it so I know it exists.

If you were to meet me in spiritual form I would likely come at you with everything I have. No holding back. You would get all of me whether you liked it or not. Honest, blunt, humorous yet with a more serious (task oriented) side when needed. I would not hesitate to play a joke on you or make a bet with you on one thing or another. But all of it would be full of love, in huge amounts. And acceptance. What I give to myself you would also get. Which is why it would be such a big, fantastic meeting. Right? 🙂

The feeling on your side would be whiplash-like but would then calm down and you would likely laugh. So would I – hysterically, especially when you do the same thing to me. Imagine a water balloon fight, only bigger.

Not sure about taste. Can you taste another Being? Probably. Thinking licorice here for some reason. Probably someone from my soul family played that joke on me once…lol But my favorite tastes would be peanut butter, cotton candy, and chocolate. Interesting combination that would be. 🙂

And that’s just the five basic senses. All the other ones would be in there, too. The entire package is beautifully fantastic and free. That’s me without this body. Unrestrained, full of love, joy, acceptance and potential. I have touched her once. Briefly. That’s how I know she exists.

My entire life I have been the first me – the one living according to what society has labeled her and wants her to be. If you were to meet me under “normal”, 3D circumstances, you would never have any idea that the other me, the real me, existed underneath. I would keep my distance, follow the social norms and rules. I would feel out your energy before I allowed you to get any closer. Any indication that your words don’t match your intention (energy) and I would back off.

I think I prefer that you know the real me – the me who I am without this physical body. I prefer to know her – BE her – to somehow bring her through the body instead of keeping her hidden all the time. It’s hard, though. Hopefully I have done a good job introducing you to her. Now I need to get to know her a bit better myself……to Remember. I’m working on it.

 

 

 

 

 

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Play

I had a really good day today. Why? Because half of my job is playing. Yep. lol I get to play with little ones and listen to them jabber about their life problems. Something about playing makes problems seem so much smaller. Ever noticed that? I have.

Then there was the not so fun part of my day, but even that was quite entertaining. I got to play teacher for two class periods today. The 5th graders were perfect students. The 2nd graders, not so perfect and quite a bit hyper. lol But since half my time with them was reading a book by Weird Al Yankovic (yeah him! lol) we all had a good time.

I came home full of energy despite being awake since 4am (again) and did a short workout. Last week I skipped working out all week so as to help myself adjust. I actually think that was a mistake, though, because I always feel so much better after a workout. 🙂

But anyway, work is proving quite surprising and I am having fun having fun. lol Nothing better than getting paid to play and watch kids be kids. They are so entertaining and funny. Especially the kindergartners. Hahahah I had one ask me how old I was, which I then told him. He said to me, “My mom is so much older than you. She’s 19!!” He was so sure that 19 was bigger than the number I gave him. Too cute!

And today I made several new 2nd grader friends even though the classes I taught were (in my opinion) out of control. One girl told me about her class, “We’re always like that.” lol Then others of her class gave me hugs. I must have made an impression. And I really, really love little people hugs now.

Then still now when I go to get a student “friend” I have two or three others ask me, “Are you taking me??” When I tell them, “Not today”, the look on their sad little faces melts my heart. I’ve never been so loved and wanted in my life.

All of this has transformed my relationship with my own children. I find myself less serious with them and more goofy – making funny faces and telling jokes. I don’t normally do that! I hug them when I get home, ask them about their days and give them kisses. Not that I wasn’t happy to see them before, but now I see them through new eyes. The eyes of a mommy elementary school counselor. Pretty cool combo to be blessed with.

I’m excited tonight because I get to practice on my kids with two books I will be using in counseling lessons. I teach two kindergarten classes tomorrow on the topic of respecting other people’s property. We are reading Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Then Wednesday I get to read a book about tattle-tails called Bad Case of Tattle Tongue. That one’s gonna be fun! Can’t wait to see the kids reactions. 🙂

My experience thus far has me re-evaluating my career plans….again. I am even considering revisited my LPC. I only have three classes and an internship left. Whether I will do it, I don’t know yet, but working playing with little ones all the time is very appealing right now.

 

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Public Again

Hello everyone. This blog is public again. I will be editing it and perusing it for my own remembering. I do not plan to change the layout but will be editing the categories and making some of the posts private. I have a long way to go, but just giving you all a heads up on that in case you see a post one day and it is gone the next.

Since I have entered into a new phase of my spiritual journey, I am not sure at this time whether I will continue to use this blog. My experiences are so varied, so complex and difficult to categorize, that I am struggling to determine the best way to share them with others. I want my experiences to be available and easily referenced.

If you are new to this blog and have yet to look around, I suggest you start at the beginning, 2014, and work your way up to the present. The majority of the material you will find here is in the form of astral travel/OBE, dreams/dream interpretation, and other mystical experiences. Many of my OBEs and lucid dreams are spirit guided as are my mystical experiences. I meet up with my guides frequently in the in-between (trance ie. the boundary between sleep and wakefulness), thus the name of the blog. 🙂

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to post them as a comment or shoot me an email. The contact form is located in the menu, upper left side of the blog.  If you have suggestions on how to organize my older posts, I’m all ears. 🙂

Namaste,

Dayna

 

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Take Care of Your Body

I’ve been receiving a recurring message lately and have not been paying much attention to it because I understood and have been making the suggested changes. However, today, it occurred to me that maybe the reason the message continues to repeat is because I need to share it. That seems to be the pattern of late, anyway.

The message is simply: Take care of your body. This I understood was to prepare the body for the upsurge in energies which are coming in now. Higher intensity energies all the time and increasing as the year continues. This means our bodies must be able to handle these energies or else face overload. Overload = illness or other irritating bodily changes ranging from mild fatigue to IBS and migraines.

So I have been getting myself back on track. I eat clean, get plenty of rest, and exercise five or more times a week. I cut out alcohol, nicotine, and all man-made drugs from over the counter painkillers to allergy medications. I drink tons of water and take several supplements including a daily probiotic (50 million), daily multivitamin, vitamin E, Tumeric, Vitex and Maca root.

But today while in the midst of working out an entire blog post popped into my head. This is unusual because I do some pretty intense workouts. So intense that even having a thought is difficult because the focus is all on the body and getting through the workout. lol

The idea was to reassert the importance of being physically fit now. It’s not just, “Oh, I’ll take some walks a few times a week, skip the dessert and take vitamins and then I will be healthy.” Nope. That’s not gonna be enough. Your body is a machine and it needs to be fine tuned (tuned up) for the energy onslaught coming our way. It’s time to pay attention to your body because what you have put into it up to this point is going to directly affect how it responds to these energies.

On top of this message I heard that I needed to share with you what I do. This isn’t because I am some kind of expert at taking care of my body. I am by no means perfect. However, my health and physical fitness are one of my top priorities.

This is what a normal week in my life looks like:

Exercise

5 or more days per week. Varied workouts ranging from intense HIIT, plyo, and weight training intermixed with Hatha Yoga at least twice a week. At least 30 minutes per workout but I aim for 1 hour workouts. Usually I end up working out twice a week for an hour, twice a week for 30 minutes and once a week for 45 minutes. Anything on top of that is a bonus.

Here’s an example of one of the workouts I do at home (this guy is awesome):

All of this guy’s videos will kick your butt, so beware!

Here is another YouTube example. I do a lot of workouts at home as you can guess. This lady is lower paced than the guy above and great on days when I just can’t handle another burpee or mountain climber. lol

I typically only visit the gym once a week. I would go more often if could. When I do go, I usually lift heavy and stick to the free weights.

Diet

I have been eating Clean since 2011. What is Clean eating? Basically, it means you avoid all processed foods, eat more fruits and vegetables, eat less sugar, and go organic whenever you can. This article is exactly what I do. You can also check out Tosca Reno’s website. I own one of her cookbooks and it is awesome! Also, I don’t eat to lose weight. I hate that it is marketed that way. It is no FAD and will not work that way. It is a lifestyle change.

One aspect of Clean Eating that I swear by is eating five or six small meals a day. This is how kids eat and how we as adults should eat but we don’t and it royally screws up our metabolism.

We seem to eat all the time in my house. In fact, we eat two breakfasts every morning. 🙂 I have oatmeal, oat bran or a protein smoothie with greens for my first breakfast. For the second one (with the kids) we usually have scrambled eggs (2 eggs and 5 whites) with cheese and whole grain English muffins. For lunch we often have leftovers from dinner. Then there is a snack around 3pm, usually a smoothie for me and fruits/veggies for the kids, maybe some yogurt. For dinner, I cook a meal from scratch every night if I can. Rarely do we order out or eat out. Usually there is another tiny meal before bedtime because me and the kids are hungry by 8pm. This is my peanut butter time. Yum! I actually sometimes have to eat in the middle of the night. Yeah, I eat A TON.

Meditation/Rest/Fun

I meditate daily, usually at night, sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes I do guided meditations but mostly I just relax, quiet my mind and settle down for a half hour or so. My favorite time to meditate is after yoga. For some reason after yoga I go directly into the zone and often into a light trance. A great website for free yoga is http://www.doyogawithme.com. This is one of my favorite classes by David Procyshyn. There is a guided meditation afterward and I almost always end up in the trance state.

Resting can also be taking a walk or lounging by the pool, even swimming (for me) is relaxing. Whatever calms you down.

I struggle with the fun part, unfortunately. Gotta have more fun. I did an indoor sky dive once that qualified. That was awesome! More vacations need to be scheduled, too.

My History

I have not always been healthy minded. In high school and college a typical breakfast for me was a glass of chocolate milk with Nestle’s Quik and two brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. Talk about sugar overload! I use to bake chocolate chip cookies and eat a half dozen while cooking them. lol Total sugar addict. A workout was mowing the lawn. lol I didn’t look bad, though I was much heavier than I am now. I think I wore a size 9/10 in high school and weighed about 145lbs. Now I wear a size 6 and weigh 134lbs. I am 5’6″.

I started running when I was 19. I had to take a PE class in college and they made me run. However, I got addicted to running and by the time I was in my thirties I was running five or six times a week for 3-6 miles at a time. I ran during my first two pregnancies. After my daughter was born I ran a 10k and after my son was born I ran a half marathon. I stopped running because my dog, Trooper, died. He was my running buddy and it was just not the same without him.

I began full on weight training in 2011. I mean like body building. Yeah, crazy, I know. I did this while also pursuing my master’s degree and working full-time. I continued to lift through my third pregnancy but afterward I experienced major burnout and dropped full-time work and weight lifting. It was just too much. Whoever it was that said three kids is easier than two is a liar. lol

None of this was rainbows and butterflies. I have a tendency to become obsessive about things I like to do, and I like to exercise and I like to look good. I am working on it. Everything in moderation. I like to think I have come full circle now. My focus now is on being healthy and feeling good more than anything. Looking good is just a byproduct.

 

 

 

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How I Cope and Other Random Things

This break or amplification or whatever you want to call it is not bothering me anymore. I’m over it. In fact, I’ve been feeling rather normal and like my old self except that I’m most definitely not my old self.

I had a friend ask me the other day, “How do you cope in the midst of extreme difficulty?” My reply was something funny and not really true and I’ve been thinking about her question ever since she asked it.

What I’ve been doing to cope this week is exercising. Actually, I’ve been doing it all through this “cave period”. It started out with me just going outside and finding things to do in our yard. I turned part of our back yard into a garden one day just for the hell of it. And for several days in a row I raked the front yard of the Live Oak leaves that fell in March. This week I’ve been doing cardio routines off YouTube. Today’s really kicked my butt.

If I’m not exercising then I’m doing yoga or cleaning house or, my favorite, baking and cooking. Yum!  I made quiche on a whim yesterday and homemade bread just a couple of days before that. I’ve even got an entire week’s worth of meals planned (unlike me really).

When my mind goes into overdrive I usually get moving. The harder I work my body, the less I am in my mind. In fact, I get so focused on my physical body that I literally go out of my mind (not in the crazy way). Then for the remainder of the day my energy surges until it plateaus around bedtime. I call it moving meditation and it is my absolute favorite kind of meditation. Yeah, I know, I’m nuts. lol

So basically, I guess I should have told my friend, “When things get tough, then I get moving.”

Now that is not always true. Sometimes I turn into sloth woman. That is rare, though. Usually, despite being sloth-like, I still make myself move and then the heaviness peels off little by little and my energy returns. And at times I’ve gotten out the wine. But again, this is very, very rare.

Exercise really is a cure-all. Even for ascension.

Oh and I’ve cried while working out. Yep. lol Not because the workout is hard, either, but the healing/cleansing kind of crying. 🙂

**Smile**

Shifting gears a little here…..(yeah I’m in that kind of mood). Here is a picture I took with my son today. He was being squirmy and trying to take the camera instead of sitting still.

meandelek

If you look closely, you will see my braces (barely – they’re ceramic). I am already very pleased with the results and I’ve only had them a week. Normally, with this kind of picture, I would have deleted it because one tooth would have poked out and looked ugly. Now that tooth is non-existent. How that is even possible in a little over 1 week, I don’t know, but I’m happy about it. 🙂

The List

Shifting gears again…..lol My husband has me researching where we will move. I refuse to move to states with state income tax, so that leaves very, very few places for us to relocate to. Here are our choices:

Alaska
Florida 🙂
Nevada
South Dakota
Texas
Washington
Wyoming
Tennessee
New Hampshire

My choices, with the first being my top pick and the last being never, ever will it happen:

Florida
Tennessee
Washington
Wyoming
Nevada
New Hampshire
South Dakota
Alaska

I don’t know exactly where he stands on this but I do know he is very keen on Wyoming and any place with snow (ugh). He also said he likes Wyoming because it’s one of the least populated states. Honestly, I did not tell him no on Wyoming, but really I can’t imagine living there after living in Montana and Alaska for as long as I did. I’m all snowed out. Plus, I’ve done the hermit thing long enough. So, I suggested we just move to East Texas. He’s dead set against it and my daughter started crying (dramatic). She has her heart set on Florida and the beach. lol I told her Texas has beaches but that didn’t help.

My husband is getting very antsy about the move. He told me yesterday, “Hurry up and pick somewhere because we have to be out in a month.” Huh? I told him, “Um. No. We have to wait until school’s out.”  And no matter how often I tell him Florida, he keeps asking me, “Where are we moving?” Sigh. Geminis!

 

 

 

 

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Party Time

I’ve been high on life the last couple of days. This is weird for me as I have been in flat-mood-mode ever since getting sick three weeks ago. I woke up yesterday full of hope. Hope? What’s is that?? lol

I spent the entire day at a double birthday part for my youngest, Elek, and his cousin who is six weeks older than him. Elek doesn’t turn 2 until the 31st, but my Mom wanted to host a party so we celebrated early. Below are some pics.

Elek was in a mood in the beginning. I don’t think he understood what all the fuss was about. He kept giving me the evil eye and wouldn’t smile for the camera. 😦

Despite being high on life, I still separated myself quite a bit from the rest of my family. I do this because their energy can be erratic and I never know how much they will project on me. Thankfully, almost everyone had high energy. My sister made me laugh so hard I cried and the conversations were rarely stagnant. My third-eye and heart chakras were active on and off during the party as well. Good sign I guess.

I hope everyone enjoyed the energy yesterday! I sure did. It was a nice reprieve from the previous energy. Sending love to you all!

 

 

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Astrology and Relationships

As you know I have been led to review my past and then this morning the suggestion was given again. I tend to constantly look at my past anyway, but specific areas have been brought to my attention lately.

Relationships

Yeah, this is a big one for us all. Who doesn’t have a relationship of some sort? We are literally born into them and they keep coming after that.

I have not had a ton of romantic relationships. I love astrology so I am going to post the various “signs” that I hooked up with. Just to remind you, my sun is in Leo, my moon in Sagittarius and my rising in Aquarius.

Aries

I married my first love and so was tied up in that one for a good 10 years from the age of 17 to 26. He was an Aries with a Capricorn moon. I can’t remember his ascendant now. He was mostly Capricorn – workaholic. Always gone. Very career-oriented and ambitious. My job was to get him on track with his career because he had some major confidence issues. That’s it. I knew it when we met and I knew it when I left him and broke his heart. He just recently moved past that hurt. I could also read him like a book. Who can psychically read their spouse/partner? Me, apparently.

Virgo

I jumped into a relationship right after my divorce. He was a Virgo and I don’t remember much. He was my rebound, of course. I do recall he was very clean – anal retentive. He also had some weird habits, etc. He ended up cheating on me – just a make-out session. Bye bye Virgo rebound.

Aquarius

Aquarians are by far my favorite I have to say. The one I met was my first ever intense connection. I wouldn’t call it a heart connection but it was intense. He was married and much older (10yrs?) than me and his energy made me shake uncontrollably. He came onto me and I made dumb decisions. Turns out it was a past life, karmic connection that played out perfectly (husband in 1920s that killed me). In retrospect, I believe he was learning more than I was.

Taurus

This was another intense relationship but all sexual. All I will say is I don’t want to go there again, no matter how amazing the sex was. It’s not worth it. Lesson learned.

Cancer

I dated only one man younger than me. In this case he was a Cancerian and 7 years younger then me. Such wonderful, loving and gentle energy. Unfortunately, I got easily bored with him. Sigh. In retrospect, I really needed that at the time. Slow down.Take it easy. Feel. Yeah right! hahaha

Libra

This one is complicated as I wasn’t really in a relationship with him, except that I was. Kinda. lol He was 12 years older than me and I was in the middle of my Dark Night at the time. We could talk about anything – great mental connection. However, I was not attracted to him like he was me. We should have just been friends. We would have been great friends but I was very lonely at the time. I messed this one up royally and know I will have to revisit the karma created in a future life. He is still very, very angry at me and he should be.

Pisces 

Not a good match. That’s all I will say. LOL

Scorpio

Really nice energy, awesome sex drive, not too much of a talker – more of a feeler. I got bored, though, as expected. 😦 He was really a nice guy. Maybe that was the problem? He was one of the few to break up with me. I don’t do well with being the one broken up with. LOL I was not very nice to him I’m ashamed to say. 😦

Gemini

My current husband is a Gemini with a Leo moon and a Libra ascendant. Actually he is a Taurus-Gemini cusp. I think sometimes he is more Taurus and other times more Gemini. I prefer the Gemini even thought the high energy is a bit overwhelming sometimes. When I had our charts done I was told we were a perfect astrological match. I don’t know about that or even what it means, but we do get along well for the most part. My husband is very intense, like me, and our main attraction to one another was mental. We both philosophize and are into spirituality. I use to could talk to him for hours. He is very stubborn and persistent. I will say I have never been with someone more stubborn than me until now. The stubborn streak must be the Taurus. He exhausts me. He won’t let me run out of an argument. I tend to try and escape him because of his energy during a fight and he will corner me. Not good to do to a Leo on the run! Out come the claws as you can guess. So yeah, let’s just say we are volatile under the right circumstances.

Family

My children came into my life to ground me I think. My daughter is a double Taurus. My middle some a double Capricorn (double meaning sun/moon). My youngest must be here to stir things up. He is a double Aries. Firecracker. lol

My mom is a Libra with Leo moon. We are best friends. My older sister is Sagittarius with Aquarius moon but I can’t remember her ascendant. We’ve had some grand times together. My youngest sister is an Aries with Cancer moon. She is probably the moodiest Aries I have ever met. lol My dad was a Scorpio and had trouble showing his emotions. My grandparents were both Libras. I had/have a very strong connection with my grandfather. I didn’t know my grandparents on my father’s side.

My in-law relationships have been interesting as well. My ex’s parents were Sagittarius and Libra. I didn’t get alone with his mom which was a Sag. She was passive-aggressive. I loved his Dad. My current husband has only a mother left and she is a Libra. We get along great. My brother-in-laws are Aries and Virgo and my sister-in-laws are Aries and Sagittarius. I get along with them all.

Friends

I haven’t had many close friends in my life. I tend to be friends with my husband/partner and am not overly social (introverted for the most part). I was very social during my Dark Night, but mostly with my sister and her friends. I, personally, just tagged along and learned very quickly that I was not into what my sister was into. Lesson learned.

My best friends tend to be fire signs. So far Leo and Aries win out here.

Conclusion

Relationship-wise, I do best with air signs followed by fire signs. I really connect with air signs on a mental level and for me, this is where the ultimate connection happens anyway. I am very intense energy-wise, too. When I love someone, it is all out and I have heard many times, “You are too intense”. LOL Fire signs tend to bring out my sexual side and, while this is nice and all, I lose interest because there has to be that mental connection for me. This is why my first marriage failed (among other things). He was not much of a conversationalist.

Earth signs are OK but tend to make me want to stay home all the time, which is okay if that is what I want to do. They are great friends, though. Ultimately I will get bored or fed up with an Earth sign. Water signs are great pacifiers of my energy but for a relationship they are a no-go. I will just stomp all over them and their sensitive feelings.

 

 

 

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I Made Videos!

This day has turned around quite quickly. Ask and you shall receive. 🙂

I am currently uploading two videos to my YouTube channel. The first is an introduction and the second is the first of several videos I will be making.

So what happened? Honestly, I don’t know. I was just going about my day and had the idea and the urge to make my first video. At the same time I knew there would be more videos and I knew what they would be about. It was like a complete outline was just there in my head. Presto!

And the second video completely blew my mind. I was not expecting what happened in the video. I am still shaking from it. Unfortunately, so is part of the video! lol

So what was the idea that came to me? Introduce myself – of course – but then I am to return to my past and share what I find with everyone. So, no big deal, right? But where was I led? To my high school memory book! hahaha But I can’t say much more because it will spoil the reveal. My Team is really, really quite shrewd.

I will share with you part of the second video because I can’t actually include it in the video without having editing skills (which I have none of). Here is something I found in my memory book that I had forgotten all about. My favorite song of all time apparently.

It will all make sense once I post the second video. Unfortunately, at the pace the upload is going it will be much, much later today….er tonight.

I’m still shaking. Where did all this energy come from all of a sudden??

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Happy Birthday: 2 Years Strong

WordPress tells me my blog is 2 today. 🙂 Yay!

I wanted to take this time to thank all of you for your support along the way. Thank you to my many lurkers who don’t comment – I know you are there as my stats say it is so.  🙂

I also wanted to thank all the people from across the world who come and visit my blog. The other day the United States, which always ranks #1 for viewers, was pushed from it’s #1 slot by Sweden. 🙂 Then on several days in a row by India. This was a complete shock to me as I had no idea anyone in those countries was taking much interest in what I had to say. So, since I don’t much check stats over time, I looked at last year. In one year over 115 countries visited this blog. Wow.

With birthdays comes the birthday wish. For me, all I wish is to keep writing and to have something spiritually significant and consciousness related to write about. Believe it or not, I don’t want my blog to be about what seems like a never-ending journey down a rabbit hole. I would love for it to have a conclusion. A happy conclusion. Yes, the journey itself will never end – we are infinite beings living a finite experience – but I do hope that this leg of it will conclude and a new journey, one of “wholeness”, will begin. This is my wish for 2016. Tie up loose ends. Finish what I started. Get to the “destination” and then set out on a new adventure, one where I am complete; where I am Home wherever I am.

I hope you will continue to join me and share your own experiences along the way.

 

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Birth and Death

I had a multiple choice question presented to me this morning. It just appeared in my mind as clear as day while I cuddled with my youngest after being awakened way too early.

The question appeared like this:

Which is the most difficult?

A. Birth

B. Marriage

C. Children

D. Death

My answer woke me up. I responded instantaneously: Birth. Hahahaha

I am not 100% sure that the middle two options are accurate. I have no doubt about options A and D.

I honestly think we never really get over being born, at least I never really did. I am still adjusting. My mom likes to tell the story of my birth because I was her most difficult delivery. Why? I was born breech and back then they didn’t just automatically give a c-section. They had my mom deliver me and it was no easy task. Apparently my butt came out first. LOL I like to say in response to my mom’s story, “I changed my mind and tried to crawl back in.”

Unlike most people, I have memory of my birth. The main memory of it is the pain of being squished. I got a horrible charlie horse. My left foot cramped up when I re-experienced my birth and did not settle down until I had gone over it several times. I remember the bright lights hurting my eyes. Then the cold and the warmth as they wrapped me in a blanket. Then the most beautiful sky blue eyes and an instant calm. I was later told my grandmother was the first to hold me. Her eyes were the color of the sky.

Though physical birth is difficult, it is far from the end.

I look forward to death. Just saying. I think of all of the options, death is the easiest. We get to go Home. We get to rest and celebrate our life accomplishments. Every time someone in my life dies I am jealous. I don’t grieve their passing like everyone else. I celebrate their homecoming. They are the lucky ones. I hope that when I leave this body and return Home my family and friends will celebrate with me rather than grieve for me.