Category Archives: totems

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Hundreds of Butterflies

The 9.9.9 portal energies are kicking in with extreme ferocity. I was hit with major heart chakra energy mid-afternoon along with a major outpouring and realizations that hit me all at once. I happened to be driving to the gym at the time. Why do these things happen to me while I am driving? Probably because it is one of the only times I am alone.

I made it to the gym and struggled through as intense a workout as I could muster. Despite squats, lunges, presses, etc at the heaviest I could bear, my heart continued to blast and my eyes continued to water. Usually extreme physical fatigue shifts me out of my heart for a brief reprieve, but it wasn’t happening yesterday.

On my way home I was back to struggling when I began to notice hundreds of tiny, orange and yellow butterflies flying across the road. At first I thought, “No way those are butterflies!” but then at a stop light I saw them up close and personal. They were no more than an inch long and fluttering about in groups. It looked like they had just emerged from their cocoons in mass. They were spectacular!

I thought, “This is a sign. I need to pay attention.” And I did, but it was not enough to make me feel better. I know butterfly = transformation. I am about DONE with transforming now. How about you? lol

As I drove the final few miles home I was met by more and more of these tiny, beautiful creatures. I even began to worry I would hit them and tried to slow down to give them safe passage across the road. Unfortunately, there were casualties. There were just too many of them. Hundreds!

I had forgotten all about the butterfly message this morning when I went outside to ground and settle the crazy energy I am feeling. I went over to the side of the yard and there in front of me were two of the same tiny butterflies I encountered yesterday. Just two of them and they were circling and dancing around each other right in front of me. They were unafraid and came within a few inches of me doing their dance. Spectacular.

What is interesting is that right before going outside I was reminded by my guidance to “pay attention to the signs we send you.” Gotcha.

I believe the species of butterfly I am seeing is called the Painted Lady.

Rather than go into detail about the message of the butterfly, I will link my favorite go-to site for symbolism – What’s Your Sign.

 

 

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Snail

This morning I went outside and sat for a while. I noticed movement below me. I looked down and saw a tiny snail crawling along a blade of grass. I knew it was a message to me: slow down, give yourself time to change and adapt.

The message of the snail is far beyond slowing down. The shell represents the spiral and expansion, thought and evolution. The snail itself represents taking one’s time to reach one’s goals, adapting to changes and growing with change. The spiral in other culture’s symbolizes the moon and the phases of the moon. It is also the snail’s only means of defense. Additionally, it is the snail’s home. It is at home wherever it is.

The message to me seems to be to work with what I have now and to take things slowly and allow everything to unfold in its own time.

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Two Recent Signs

The universe has been sending me some pretty obvious messages lately that I wanted to share.

Blue Jay

Blue Jay has visited me before back in January, but recently he is showing himself again. The first time was quite unexpected and unusual. I cannot recall just when this happened (a couple of weeks ago maybe?) but on a walk with my youngest one afternoon I came upon three baby blue jays hopping about on the sidewalk. They were too young to fly yet, so likely they had prematurely falling from their nest. They had enough feathers and ability to fly short distances but would have been an easy catch if I had wanted to do that. Instead, my son and I stopped and watched the three babies bounce about and chirp to their parents in the trees above.

I had never seen a baby Blue Jay before. In fact, I have not seen many jays in my lifetime, at least not this close up. When I lived a hour north of my location now blue jays were very, very rare. Here near the city they are more common, this year especially.

In addition to the close encounter with the baby jays I have a pair of blue jay parents dive bombing my bird feeder. I purposefully bought a finch feeder with very tiny perches to keep the larger birds away. I prefer feeding the pretty songbirds like Cardinals. Anyway, the jay is very smart and has figured out how to get to the seed despite being way to big for the feeder. I have been watching as they grab some sunflower seed, take it to a nearby tree to eat and then return for more. The somehow manage to get the seed by balancing on the lower perches sideways, wings flapping. They also have babies that look like adults who they share their winnings with.

Eleven

As if the Blue Jays weren’t enough of a hint, the universe decided to give me a more obvious message. Yesterday afternoon I kept feeling something on the inside of my pants that created a slightly annoying itch. I brushed my leg several times and the last time I noticed something was stuck to my leg. I pulled it off and it was this:

11

Though the image is very large here, this is a tiny sticker maybe half and inch square. It is likely an inspection sticker from my pants. When I saw it I laughed out loud. The universe couldn’t have been anymore obvious!

When looking up the angel number of 11 I usually go to the Joanne Sacred Scribes website. This time, however, that explanation did not feel right. So I went to this site instead. I like how it immediately states that the number 1, which is doubled in 11, indicates a new chapter or fresh start. Two ones together, 11, symbolize a doorway. New opportunities await.

The message hit me hard while I was doing yoga. This is not unusual, something about yoga intensifies the connection I have with my Team. Usually my crown or third-eye will light up. I was hit very hard with a realization that something profound was approaching. I remember the realization made me hold my breath because the consideration of “it” made me a bit nervous. It was primarily a feeling so I can’t say what exactly “it” is. Regardless, the message of 11 was reinforced.

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Beetle Mania

Sorry to disappoint you, but this is not about The Beatles. 🙂 lol

For about a week  I’ve been seeing beetles everywhere. First they were coming in my dreams. Big, black, shiny beetles walking around. I noticed them in my dreams as out of place and so when I woke that was pretty much all I recalled about the dream. Weird, huh?

Last night as I went into the house and was preparing for bed, I looked down on my black yoga pants and saw a bug. Looking closer I recognized it. Do you?

A little lightening bug was on me! Tee-hee!

Then this morning, about an hour after thinking to myself, “I need to write a post on beetles because I keep seeing them” I spotted a tiny black beetle on the floor in the bathroom. It was probably the size of my pinky fingernail, but it was still gross to me so I picked it up with some TP and tossed it in the toilet. Yuck!

So what is up, Mr. Beetle? Why do you keep coming around?

Upon first inspection, seeing a beetle in your dreams does not look to be a good sign. Everywhere I looked online said that if you see a beetle in your dreams just casually walking around (like in mine) then it means there is a destructive force present in your waking life. This destructive force could be internal or external. Other than that, it leaves the determination of just what this force is up to the dreamer. Not really that easy to do in my case as there are so many such forces both internally and externally that I can choose from. lol

Then I thought to look up the symbolism of the beetle as a totem or sign just to see if it differed from the dream symbolism. Sometimes the meaning is the same regardless but in this case it was very different.

As always I went to whats-your-sign.com and found a plethora of information on the symbolism of the beetle. Yay! I love that website! Anyway, rather than summarize everything, I will just pick and choose those parts of Mr. Beetle’s message that I feel are applicable to me and my situation.

Transformation
Adaptation
Surrender to change
Strength
Stability
Give thanks for those things that are stable, reliable and secure in my life
Focus on the material
Be more grounded
Be more rooted in our life (family connections)
Take note of negative thoughts and their influence
Black indicates promotion of stability, protection and healing misunderstandings

It seems to me that Mr. Beetle has come to remind me to focus on my life and getting it on track. All things mundane and then some is what seems to be his theme. There is, of course, a spiritual component to his message, but it seems that he wants me to see the spiritual in the physical. This I am happy to do but at the same time I would rather not get my hands dirty with some of the more unpleasant parts. I admit, little, black beetles give me the heebie-jeebies. lol

I prefer the message of the little firefly/lightening bug. I linked to the symbolism above but will say his message brings me a bit more hope. I can use some inspiration, imagination, illumination, and patience. Patience especially. 🙂

 

 

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Heart Surges, Boredom and a Great Blue Heron

The energy is a bit stagnant again this morning, but I can feel it is revving up for another surge around the full moon and eclipse on Wednesday. It will continue to cycle through the end of the month. Ebb and flow, surge and fall. The stagnant periods will replace the low, depressed, chaotic flow of the last cycle of upgrades and transmissions. I am grateful for that.

Heart Surges

I experienced several heart surges throughout the day yesterday. They were high heart surges and shifted into my throat chakra several times. My third eye was also triggered when my heart was blazing. With these surges of energy I felt hopeful, excited and a bit nervous. Something BIG is coming.

Unmotivated and Bored

Today’s stagnant energy has amplified my lack of motivation and boredom. I lingered in bed this morning feeling out of the energies and being warned of my tendency to over analyze everything. Even though I don’t like the feelings I am experiencing I have to learn to allow them to flow. They will pass. Nothing stays the same. Change is a constant.

There is a tendency in me to do, do, do. I have trouble staying still. There needs to be a project or something mentally stimulating for me to fill my time with. Right now is not a time for DOing. It is a time for BEing. There are timelines shifting and constant re-alignment. To DO anything at this time would result in NOthing for the alignment is not complete.

Charts, Graphs and Grids

A repeating pattern as I wake in the morning is a recollection of seeing shapes, patterns, charts, graphs and grids. They are random and flash through my memory as if they are being stored somewhere deep in my subconscious in order to protect my waking mind from too much information too soon. Mathematical computations are among these images.

This morning, the most prominent images were of seeing various grids superimposed one upon the other. They were spread across the universe, the Earth, and every living thing on the Earth. Some of the grids were square, others were octagonal, still others pentagons. So many different shapes! The colors also varied. Some were blue, others green, some red and still others purplish and their overlapping colors created a massive, multidimensional mandala of color. The grid pattern I saw from our galaxy had vortexes and circular patterns that swirled and seemed to breathe as they expanded and contracted.

Then there are the charts. The Venn Diagram is familiar. My guide showed me this back in 2004 to explain my spiritual transformation. The separate ares of consciousness – conscious, subconscious, superconscious, were merging, becoming less separated. There was another chart that was less familiar and dotted with mathematical formulas – positives and negatives, proportions, symbols, and geometric formulas that I cannot specifically place at this time. They are familiar – meaning I have come across them in this lifetime, but they all blend in my mind making them hard to separate. The graph itself showed an upward trend in red. Below, in a contrasting color, was a more even flow that remained lower in elevation than its counterpart. My sense from this chart is it was of human evolutionary patterns in relation to Earth changes and electromagnetic pole distribution. But I suspect there is much, much more being discussed and anticipated.

I searched the internet for something that looked familiar to me. This article, which upon reading makes my head spin, is very similar to the formulas and corresponding symbols I remember. The image below gives you an idea of what I am seeing. Mind boggling!

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Preparation – Expansion Pending

The BIG something I mentioned earlier is an expansion of Self which ultimately leads to Wholeness. Yesterday I spent most of the day receiving downloads via my heart – thus the heart blasts. The downloads have not made their way into my conscious mind as of yet, but the feeling from them is already being felt. I perceive the magnitude of what is to come more than anything.

My mentor was very, very close all day and is today as well. If I focus on him, my heart blows wide open, so I try to keep my distance. lol

The previous night’s Kundalini rising from my root to my heart must have cleared some blockages because my stomach has been extra sensitive, making my eating habits an area of particular focus lately. I ate a ton of french fries from Wendy’s on Sunday and spent yesterday paying for it. Stomach knots and lower back pain – it could have been worse. I know better than to eat that crap! Since then I have been focused on eating more clean foods – fresh veggies, fish, organic meats, whole grains. And I am extremely thirsty! Since this pattern is familiar, I know it is a preparation stage and this time I plan to avoid a stomach flu forced cleanse. 🙂

great_blue_heronSigns of Change

My husband is also feeling the stagnant energy and has been quite restless. Yesterday he came home and wasn’t even in the front door when he began to talk about selling our home and moving to Florida. lol He proceeded then to tell me that he wants to take his aunt and uncle up on their offer to fund his new business. He wants to move to Clearwater and if not there then he brought up Colorado and of all places Iowa! Iowa? No way! lol I immediately went into panic mode because if he quits and focuses on a new business then I need to work to make sure we can pay our bills, etc in the meantime. I have absolutely NO motivation to get back out there into the 3D world. Just thinking of going back to work makes me feel sick inside. Ugh! I had to tell my husband to stop talking about it and even told him he may have to do it on his own. This shut him up temporarily and I retreated to the back yard porch swing to calm down.

While out there thinking how I couldn’t possibly confront going back to work, I spotted a huge blue bird walking along the creek below me. Stunned, he looked directly at me and I recognized him to be a great blue heron. What was a bird like that doing in our creek!? His eyes met mine and he flew across the open area to the safety of the trees and then just stared at me.

When I looked up the message a blue heron brings I discovered a message to remain calm and remember my ability to adapt to changing situations. It is funny that the heron came at the time he did because it was like he was addressing the thoughts I was having at that time by saying, “Be patient. Answers and opportunity will come. Be prepared to take action when they do.”

 

 

 

 

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Clovers and Ladybugs

The energy yesterday was fantabulous! Did you take advantage of it? I did. 🙂

There were moments when the vibration got so high, though, that I got that familiar anxiety/panic feeling in my chest. I hate that feeling. How did I handle it? I went to the gym and grounded the hell out of it. lol It worked, too. Bye-bye panic feeling hello happy feeling.

When I came home, my mother-in-law took my two oldest to a birthday party. This gave me time alone with my youngest. We both love our time alone. We spent it outside enjoying the lovely Spring weather and exploring the back yard. There was a cloudless sky and a slight breeze – a perfect day.

I decided to sit in the grass. When I looked up at the sky, the crescent moon was right overhead. For some reason this made me smile and gave me great joy. I felt as if the moon was put there just for me.

Then I noticed I was sitting next to a clump of clover (which is actually Wood Sorrel). I love clover! It brought back memories from my childhood. I use to look for four leaf clovers all the time. I would eat the clover, too. They are yummy!

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The symbolism was not lost to me, either. Each clover has three, perfect heart shaped leaves. Since I had just received the message 333 by my guides the previous day I smiled because here it was again in abundance all around me. Each perfectly formed heart reminding me that I am loved and worthy of love. Thank you universe!

Here are a few pics of my son in the clover. The last one is of him tasting it. He didn’t like it too much. It’s an acquired taste. lol

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Do you see his mullet? I couldn’t cut his curls so I kept it long. We get comments on it all the time. People love it. lol

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Tasting the clover.

There were also an abundance of ladybugs about. There would be three or more on one plant!

Ladybugs symbolize happiness, good fortune, child-like innocence, and complete transformation.

Ladybug spirit animal shows that the last, big step of your transformation will result in a quantum leap from one way of being to a brand new one. You will have a gap or quiet, inactive time when this shift is happening in you, but others will be able to see it taking place. Source.

I had not seen so many ladybugs in one place before so I took some pictures and showed them to my son. He was as fascinated as I was.

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All pictures were taken with a cell phone.

There were also aphids all over the place. I pulled up some weeds and my hands were covered in the little green guys. I didn’t take any pictures of them. They kinda creeped me out so I stopped investigating the bugs of our back yard after that. lol

I learned later that ladybugs eat aphids. I didn’t know that! No wonder there were so many hanging around.

After that we took a trip down to the creek. It is actually an overflow ditch but water runs there year-round and there is an entire ecosystem available to explore. The creek marks the border of our property. We don’t even own one acre but we have way more to explore than our previous 4 acres provided. Such a blessing!

 

As you can see, Spring has sprung in Texas. It has been greening up since mid-February. Last week it rained every day and the creek overflowed its banks. Our house is very close (you can see it in the pic), but we are not located in a flood plane/zone. The water has, however, come up uncomfortably close to the house.

It is another gorgeous day today and the first day of Spring Break, too. Wishing you all a joy-filled, beautiful day!

 

 

 

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Two Opossums

I feel nearly 100% this morning. When I woke up I could breathe, I wasn’t coughing, my head wasn’t hurting, my body wasn’t hurting, and I was starving. lol The antibiotics I have been taking for 2 days have done miracles for me. Unfortunately, I was awakened at 5am by my two youngest and have been up ever since. My husband usually lets me sleep in on the weekends but he is in Georgia visiting his rich aunt and uncle in the mountains. Bad timing really but then at least I am on the mend now and so don’t feel so overwhelmed by his absence. Unfortunately, it has been raining pretty much non-stop since Monday so the kids are going stir crazy stuck inside all day. My daughter is so desperate that she wants to ride her bike in the rain and play in the swollen creek. lol

Oh and the a/c just needed a new part and so we didn’t have to pay out for a whole new one. It is a 20-year-old unit, though, so eventually we will have to replace it.

Two Opossums

This morning opossum visited me again, well he visited all of us while we were eating breakfast. This time he was out in broad daylight and he was in a hurry. I saw him through the french doors as he ran right across our back patio. He was literally 10 feet from us. I jumped up and told the kids to look and we were all up and out the doors after him. lol Usually opossums will stop in their tracks and play dead, but this one had other ideas. He was fast! It was the same huge opossum that I saw earlier and wrote about, bigger than a house cat and really ugly. lol

I followed him with my phone trying to take a picture but he was too fast and my phone has a two second delay when it takes pictures so I just got pictures of his backside. He eventually climbed into his burrow which was located just on the other side of the hill that leads down to the overflow creek that borders our property. The kids wanted to see him so I crawled down to look, but he was dug in deep and I know better than to mess with a opossum. Those things have sharp teeth and aren’t afraid to use them. Plus, if he was out in daylight he could be rabid, but doubtful.

As I was climbing back up the hill my kids were running after me. They had gone inside to get their shoes. I always wear shoes to protect my feet since having kids. Legos and other toys really hurt! Anyway, I told them to go back to the house and as they turned around there was another opossum running for dear life across our patio! My son started chasing him and then my youngest, wearing a shirt and diapers only began yelling and running after him, too. They were all so excited and the opossum wasn’t having any of it. lol It was really quite funny and I wish I had thought to turn on my phone’s video camera.

This opossum was not as brave as the other one and tried to hide behind the neighbor’s fence in between a pile of old bricks and other junk. I was able to get two pictures of him but he high tailed it out of there, too. My kids tried to follow him and I stopped them. This one was smaller and slower and I did not want them to accidentally catch up to it.

We all went back inside and not five minutes later my daughter was yelling about seeing the opossum again. Sure enough he was across the creek running. I suspect it must be mating season and the two were trying to get it on in my back yard this morning. LOL Either that or the flooding creek has displaced them. Both were totally drenched.

Message

I have already previewed my other post since I figured my guidance was trying to remind me of the message opossum brings. However, this time the opossum was not alone and out in the day. As a nocturnal animal, this is out of character.

The past message was the wait and take no action, but now I feel the situation may have shifted. What do two, completely drenched, running opossums mean? I looked but could not find anything on that particular scenario. lol Maybe too much hiding out got them drenched in emotion and they finally had enough and freaked out? LOL These two definitely fit that description. I wonder if they found each other? One hid out in a hole and the other went looking for him/her.

I found this particular meaning applicable, especially the last line:

Opossum could also be a warning against getting caught up in a situation that is full of drama. Stop making excuses and embrace the problem head on. Remember: you do not owe anyone a reason or excuse for how you feel or what you choose to experience. Source.

What happens when you hide from yourself? You end up drenched and frantic, just like the two opossums were. What is even more synchronistic here is that this morning I woke up thinking that I should stop judging myself for how I feel and what I wish to experience. 🙂

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Opossum Visit

Last night was one of those nights where I fell asleep and did not move until I awoke at 3am. I have no memory of any dreams prior to that point. I just slept really, really hard.

When I awoke I was very sad and I don’t know why. I felt completely done with life and requested a convening of my Council to discuss my options. For some reason I knew I could do this if I stated it properly. So I mentally requested a meeting of my Council to discuss my Exit options. I then requested that I be allowed to remember the adjournment and what was decided.

I was not going to share this with you all because I didn’t want it to appear negative. Yet, this is a very real part of the journey, of my journey. I have requested to Exit this life many, many times – too many to count. I believe we have Exit points planned into our lives. These are points where we can choose to leave the physical body. They are set points but the timing and circumstances surrounding them can be revised. I did not know how to request it until this morning. I just awoke knowing. Prior to that I have just wished for them, never directly asking to meet with my Council.

The feeling I awoke with is of absolute purposelessness. I feel to be going nowhere in my life. Treading water and getting more and more exhausted as I do so. The options I have reviewed, the only ones I can currently “see”, do not offer me any hope of positive change. I feel no matter what I do that this feeling will not abate. I have asked to understand, to be shown the reason, but so far I am getting nothing – or at least that is what it seems.

Opossum Visit

I was reminded this morning that I was visited by an opossum last night. This was no dream but an actual visit. At my old home, which was located out in the country, opossums, raccoons and other critters were constantly showing up. Here in the suburbs, however, they are rare. So last night, when a huge opossum came walking up to me while I was outside, it was a surprise indeed.

A visit from an opossum is a message to lay low and blend into your surroundings – to “play opossum”. Their message is “take no action”; do not say or do anything. This time of no action will allow you to see things for what they really are. Patience, trust and passivity are required.

Seeing this message just makes me laugh. No wonder I am wanting to Exit. This is the worst part of life (in my opinion) – the waiting! I absolutely hate it.

This message reminds me of a knowingness I had prior to bed last night and upon waking this morning. That at this time in my life I am focusing primarily on two things: being a mother and progressing spiritually. That’s it. The former requires action on my part, the latter does not. Of course, I want to act on the spiritual more than anything but am not being allowed. It is something that occurs in its own time and much of it is behind the scenes.

 

A big challenge for me is accepting the feelings I am having; allowing myself to feel them without judgement. There are so many “negative” ones that it is hard to not judge myself harshly for feeling them. Trusting that they have a purpose is very difficult as well. In some cases they are the elephant in the room and eventually something must be done about them.

I really, really want to just go into a coma until it is time to act. The waiting is unbearable.

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Dead Dove

I was feeling pretty good….until I went outside to wait for my daughter to get off the bus.

I sat in my normal spot intending to enjoy some much needed solitude and at my feet was this:

dove

This is a white-winged dove They are native to Texas and often live in the city and suburbs as well as the country. It looks like this one was shot. It has an entry and exit wound right through its center. Who would have shot it? Likely neighborhood boys with BB guns. 😦

When I saw it my heart sank. I thought, “Oh no. Not a good sign! There’s goes my peace.” My second thought was that it means the end to a relationship.

I grew up around doves, specifically mourning doves in the hill country of Texas. I use to get a kick out of going near one of their nests and watching as the adult bird would fly off of it as if they were wounded. My grandfather told me this was their way of protecting their young. If predators thought the adult was wounded they would follow them and leave the nest alone. I have never seen another bird do something like that. It is ingenious!

Doves mate for life. I recall vividly my grandfather telling me how, when one dove dies, their partner will often sit next to the dead body and end up getting killed themselves because of their intense loyalty to their partner. I remember seeing this often as we would drive by a dead dove on the road. I always saw its partner not far away, usually on a tree or fence nearby. I thought it both beautiful and sad at the same time. As a kid I thought it was stupid because the living dove would just end up dead eventually. lol

Burying the Dove

Since my middle son already saw the dead dove, I let both my youngest touch it and lifted it up for them to see. It was freshly dead, still warm, and I could clearly see the entrance and exit wounds. I knew once my daughter arrived we would need to bury it. It just felt like the right thing to do.

My kids helped me picked a spot in our back yard and I dug the grave while they collected rocks. We put it in its grave and then covered it up. My daughter asked where doves go when they die. I said, “I don’t know. Dove heaven?” She said, “Is there such a thing?” I said, “Probably. It goes where all things go when they die.” My middle son kept asking why its eyes were closed. I kept repeating, “Because it’s dead.” I think he finally figured that out once we buried it. That’s him in the picture.

My youngest didn’t care at all about the dove. lol

I am hoping this “sign” is just a coincidence, but from the looks of it, it seems like a message to me. The poor dove was shot right through the heart. And it had just died. It must have fallen in that spot literally minutes before I stepped outside because it was still warm. It is cold enough outside here and the bird small enough that it would have been stiff after 15 minutes. How do I know all of this? Because as a tom-boy growing up in the country I was always messing with dead things. 😉

So maybe if it is a sign it is just to tell me that I will have little peace in the future. I really rather it not be the loss of a partner.

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Horse Symbolism

It has been a beautiful day today and I have been outside most all of it. Today I went to visit my mom as is my normal weekly routine. I do it because I love her but also because I feel I should – as if my time with her is limited and so I should make the most of it while I can.

While at my mom’s house I sat in the sun, absorbing it’s warmth as much as I could and watching the clouds fly past. It seemed like they were in a hurry to get somewhere. Their exuberance was appealing to me. I wish I was up there with them.

Here are some shots of the clouds today. I wish I had taken video now so you could see just how fast they were moving through the sky.

After tending to (and playing with) the chickens we caught the attention of the neighbors horses. My children and I spent most of the rest of our time there with the two horses, feeding them and petting them. They were so gentle, their muzzles so soft as they tried to find food in our empty hands or eat our hair. lol

I was especially drawn to the horses today for some reason. I see them every visit but don’t care much to communicate with or pet them. But today I wanted to get up close and hug one. The closest I got was to pet their faces and smell their horse smell. That was enough considering I really am afraid of them. Baby steps. 🙂

When we got home I was still thinking about the horses. I was reminded that I have had many, many encounters with horses in dreams and OBEs. A horse has even talked to me while OOB! lol It has been suggested by many others that horse is likely one of my totems and I tend to agree. I was obsessed with them as a child and use to draw pictures of wild mustangs constantly. Every picture I drew had either a horse or a unicorn in it. 🙂 Strangely, when in the presence of a horse I am often nervous and afraid of how big and powerful they are.

I know that horses symbolize freedom, especially the wild ones. Tame horses, on the other hand, tend to represent aspects of one’s personality that they keep confined.

Rather than write it all out, you can read about the horse here.

From what I can tell, it appears that I am being drawn to the horse at this time in my life to help me with some of the current challenges I am facing. I have been really struggling with the transformation or whatever it is that I am going through. I have never in my life experienced such a split within myself and it is painfully present at all times during the day. The only reprieve I get is while I sleep but it comes back as soon as I wake. I am learning to be in my heart space despite feeling this split and it is getting easier – er well maybe I am just getting use to it. There is guidance but it is limited because whatever is happening to me is something my Team cannot interfere with. From what I can tell, there is a mountain sized issue standing in my path and I don’t think I will be able to go around it this time. Makes me want to spew out every cuss word that exists.

Thinking I should have just gone over the fence and given that horse a hug now. Maybe it would have made me feel better? Or maybe it would have kicked the crap out of me. LOL