Woke at 4:30am thinking of all the things I need to get done before my trip to Cancun next Wednesday. It was mostly work stuff because I have to get a lot done before I leave. No one can do my job except me, really, which makes it hard for me to go on vacation without having to take my laptop and work on-the-go (which I refuse to do).
It took me a while to settle my mind and body, but I guess I did because I entered a lucid dream.
OBE: Horseman
My mind was still going over all the things I need to do in the dream but I was aware I was dreaming. I found myself in a dark landscape. I couldn’t make out much except two dirt roads that intersected at one point.
As I wandered around this area I was talking to myself and a masculine energy. In my mind I could see images, some of the landscape others of a computer screen. I remember receiving/seeing email messages. The subject lines were familiar. I realized they were things I had written and someone was sending them back to me. I was alarmed because it appeared I was being warned about the future via my own written words. Other emails were long love poems which I read aloud and enjoyed. I don’t remember any of what I read now, though. All of the emails were from a familiar person whose image I could recall in my mind. But, again, my memory of this is limited. All I remember is dark hair and knowing this person had been in contact with me in the past and so seemed to be “stalking” me (but not in a negative way).
Then my focus went to the gray landscape. I soon realized I could traverse it by feel and that the email communications were located there. I would “touch” upon a spot and see or feel things. While one spot brought forth a major sexual feeling, another would reveal an email or would only illicit curiosity.
As I floated/walked towards the center of where the two dirt roads intersected, I told the masculine energy, “This is where my house will be”. I turned and looked across the darkness, the road intersection glowed, and I realized I was standing on the covers of my bed, the bed in which my physical body was sleeping.
For some reason this didn’t surprise me one bit. I shifted into the body in the bed and thought to myself, “I wonder…?” The thought turned to immediate action as I rolled over and off the bed. I recall thinking I might hit the floor so redirected my thoughts so that I floated instead.
As soon as I rolled off the bed I found myself in a bedroom. It was still very dark but all my perceptions were available and I thought to myself, “I will see when I want to.”
I floated towards the door slowly, enjoying the sensations of being OOB and thinking to myself that I need to pay attention and enjoy what little time I had OOB.
When I reached the door, I grabbed onto the doorknob and opened the door. I held onto the knob for a while, recognizing it was not really there but amazed at how real it felt. As I looked up I turned on my vision and was blown away by what was in front of me.
The first thing I focused on was the sky. Fluffy clouds and azure blue backlit by the rays of the sun greeted me along with an entire chorus of voices singing in harmony. There were no words to the song, just “Ahh, ahh, ahh….” The chorus was unlike anything I’d heard in this body, but I have heard before it while OOB. Not only was there sound, but the music had color and feeling. Every note permeated the scene and painted it with colors. I could feel my energy body vibrating; my soul felt in tune with everything. The end result was pure joy and the thought, “It is SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!”
I had let go of the doorknob and floated up to the rooftop, holding onto the edge so that I wouldn’t be sucked up into the beautiful chorus of clouds. Branches of trees were at eye level and appeared to sway with the music. I began to sing along with the chorus of voices as I gazed in awe at my surroundings.
I glanced over the top of the roof and saw a brilliant, glowing orb – the sun. It was just peaking over the horizon, its rays casting a brilliance over the landscape. For a moment it looked like there were two identical suns. I blinked, and the lower one vanished before my eyes and the top one continued to slowly rise upward until it was sitting an inch or so above the horizon.
That’s when I saw a man on a horse galloping at top speed in my direction. He seemed to appear from the sun itself! A small, brilliant white light glowed where his hands were holding the reigns. Was he holding a lantern? IDK but the light illuminated him enough that I could tell his horse was brown and he was not a “dark horseman” or sinister in any way.
Before I knew it, the man had galloped across my line of sight and disappeared to my right, just out of my peripheral. I somehow knew he would circle around to meet me. This concerned me and I whispered, “Don’t come over here. Don’t come over here.” The chorus of voices was still singing as I returned to my body.
Considerations
As body awareness returned, I didn’t move, hoping I would return to the scene and confront whoever this horseman was. Why didn’t I want to me him? Unfortunately, my mind was wide awake and thinking too much again. Sleep wasn’t going to return.
As I went through the OBE experience in my mind, the memory of it brought tears to my eyes. I could still hear the chorus of voices, see the magnificent scene and feel the overwhelming joy. I thanked my guidance for giving me such a gift. I was pleased that I recognized the gift that it was and took the opportunity to take in every beautiful part of it.
I wondered about the horseman. When I first saw him I thought of him as a knight or someone coming to assist me. Later, I worried because he was so dark and my thoughts went to the apocalypse. I almost forgot about the light he carried but when I remembered, I knew whoever he was, he was good.
The symbolism is promising. The sun is rising – hope, new beginnings, new life, the promise of a new day. That the horseman came galloping out of the sun is also promising and points to something new and positive.
I don’t know if the email and communication at the beginning of the experience is linked to the OBE – probably. The crossroad are vivid in my memory; a choice is coming. That I was talking about building a new house indicates yet another positive.
I love, love, love that I found myself wandering on top of the covers of the bed I was sleeping in. How cool is that!? Fantastic!
I woke early at around 6am, feeling well rested and alert. I decided to do some energy work but must have fallen asleep during the process. The last thing I recall is speaking with a guide and asking, “Why am I still here?”
Lucid Dream: Line Dance
There was a whole regular dream before I became lucid involving me wearing a yellow bikini which I had slept in from the previous day. lol I then went into my mom’s kitchen to find a mess in the sink that included lots of utensils. I began washing the dishes. There were strange utensils that looked like potato mashers but they had these large, circular coils on top. In questioning what was prepared with them, I concluded that my mom had awakened very, very early in the morning and had prepared a breakfast of crepes. She then went outside and began planting seeds for a garden in her flowerbeds. I saw her entire morning from above, as if spying on her.
Somehow I ended up in a darkened space sitting at a strange table that was less than a table’s normal height. All around me were people whose features were hard to see because of the dim lighting. We all sat on cushions at the table and the people spoke a foreign language I could understand despite it sounding like gibberish. I remember talking, asking questions but I’m not sure what I asked now. The closer I looked at the people, the more lucid I became, until I realized I was dreaming.
At some point I was climbing over the table and across to stand over the group. I knew I was among people from India and also that we were at some kind of celebration. There was a book on the table and I had been looking through it. The words were in English and I could focus on the pages and read it without issue. The content is lost to me now because my attention shifted to what everyone was wearing. They had on red vests with gold embroidery and decoration. It was very elaborate and both males and females wore the same style. I ended up asking, “What’s with the costumes?” A man pointed at me and I looked down, noticing I, too, was wearing a gold embroidered red vest.
By this point everyone was standing up and positioned in rows. There were more people than I could count. Rows upon rows all moving in sync, as if flowing with music, but no music could be heard. Somehow I knew they were dancing a line dance and I laughed as I faced them all, watching them move their arms in sweeping motions across the fronts of their bodies. The man indicated that they were imitating me, I was leading the dance, so I jumped a bit and so did they. I laughed out loud, giddy at the energy of the group and my ability to affect their movements. Still facing them, I moved and they moved and I had a suspicion that this “dance” was symbolic of something and had memory of very early dreams that involved Hindu ceremonies. The Kundalini came to mind briefly and my lucidity peaked quickly because of it.
OBE: Open Book
I shifted back into my body. My heart was pounding and I knew the reason I rarely go OOB these days is because of the strain on my physical body. This had been explained to me in the past but only recently had it become obvious that my physical heart did not like it.
Rather than get up out of my body when I exited, I lay in bed and just intended to shift out. When I shifted, I returned to the darkened room where I had been but all the people were gone. I could feel my bed around me and just rested there feeling into the amazing energy and in awe of how real it all felt. I pulled my hands through my hair, feeling my head and the hardness of my skull. I massaged my head for a while. The more I did this, the more physically real everything felt. It was probably the most solid I’ve felt OOB in a long time!
Eventually I opted to get up OOB and felt the subtle shift. I stood again on the tables of the room. A young man was speaking and a book opened up before me. As the man spoke, words appeared on the brilliant white pages. I read headings that indicated he was a teacher. One passage said, “I can be 19 if you want.” Curious, I looked closer and saw the rest – “I’m 15 but….” Putting it altogether I laughed and said the entire sentence aloud. I then asked the man, “Can you be 35?”
The book indicated that he worked with “children” and I saw the number 9. I skimmed through several pages, seeming to look for something.
Despite knowing that focusing too much on reading could pull me back to my body, I took the risk. It was too obvious that I was meant to read what was in the book. When I focused, the words on the book jumped around as is usual when I read something in astral, but I was able to read a substantial portion of the book. Of course, it is all lost to me now. I find it interesting how my human mind just cannot digest what I read while in astral. It is total gibberish in my memory except for those things I read that I repeat aloud.
The memory of what I read is limited but it seems like the young man was a guide/teacher and he wished to introduce himself to me. The feeling I got was that he enjoyed working with “children” of all ages and was willing to help me in whatever way he could. There was a sense that he was specifically interested in the work I’ve been doing on myself – pranayama, microcosmic orbit. Sadly, I don’t remember much of it now as the focusing on the book did what I thought and I eventually was pulled back into my body.
When I re-entered I did not feel my heart pounding. The re-entry was smooth and the energy of my astral body felt like a huge ball of consciousness that poured seamlessly back into my physical body.
Interpretation
The lucid dream appears to be pointing me in the direction of the Kundalini again. The Hindu/Indian feel of it, the “costume”, the ceremonial feel, and the “dance”. Overall, the dream felt very positive, like I was being encouraged to continue my exploration of the energy.
The OBE could be an answer as well, pointing to my children. Though the man could very well be one of my guides, it feels more like he was relaying to me that I am a guide to my children, teaching them and assisting them as they grow into adulthood.
When I woke there was a song going through my head but I don’t remember it now. It confirmed, though, that my lucid dream and OBE were meant to encourage me.
Had a surprising OBE last night that was quite long.
Lucid to OBE
The dream started in my grandparent’s underground house. I was watching my SIL and husband play a game. It was quite dark and so I assumed it was night. I remember looking around the kitchen and recognizing evidence of my uncle living there (which he does now that they have passed). There was some odd things that I questioned like a fountain on the table and a faucet on the kitchen sink that I couldn’t operate very well.
When I turned back toward the living room I saw my SIL and asked her about the game she was playing. I remember she and my husband had been handling blue objects and moving them very fast in their hands. It was a mathematical concentration game. This triggered my lucidity and I thought, “This is a dream.” I felt myself shift as my awareness went to my body temporarily.
Without hesitating, I immediately took control of the dream and headed toward the front entry to go outside. When I exited the house, I flew up into the air and felt pulled upward at great speed. With this I began to sing at the top of my lungs and through my singing controlled the experience and maintained a high vibration. I didn’t want to go up too high so stopped myself and looked down in awe at what was around me. I could see stars everywhere but also the Earth below.
I lowered myself down and flew among some buildings that suddenly appeared in the field in front of the house. I watched them morph and change with my thoughts and got much pleasure in this.
Then I was standing in front of two young girls. I had a small, sharp instrument in my hands that looked like a letter opener. I can’t recall what I was singing but I know it created the scene. I wondered what it would be like to cut the throat of one of the girls. One came up to me and said, “Go ahead. Try it.” So I slit her throat and the sensation of it was like slicing through butter but with a bit more resistance. She didn’t bleed but her throat was cut, the flesh hanging from her neck and colored red inside. She laughed and complimented me. I said it felt different than I thought and asked to try again. The other girl came up and I went behind her like in the movies and slit her throat as well. Again, it was an interesting sensation and much easier than I thought it would be.
The two girls stood there, throats cut and smiling, seeming very real, talking and completely fine. I motioned to the overweight one and said I wanted to see her insides. She lay down and I cut her like a doctor would, straight from her sternum to her belly button. I saw inside and she put her hand on her beating heart, suggesting I should take it out. I thought about it, reached toward it and then changed my mind. I was not interested in doing that and lost all interest in playing “doctor” after that. I’m not sure why I changed my mind, but seeing her heart like that seemed to trigger disinterest.
I lifted up into the sky and felt myself pulled upward so fast that I ended up in space again surrounded by stars. This time I lingered amidst the stars and began to sing words inviting specific people to meet me there. I noticed metal high wires stretched above and below me forming a kind of safety “cage” that I entered from above. I was most definitely talking/singing to someone I felt was with me as I received answers to my requests. No, neither person was present nor could they be called to join me at that time.
There is faint memory of others around me. I want to say they were female and dressed in pastel ballerina attire reminding me of fairies bouncing around me. Whoever they were, they felt to be there to support me but always stayed just out of my direct line of sight. Magical, mystical Beings of love and Light.
Since my requests were not granted, I finally asked if I could at least be given someone to assist me in igniting the Kundalini energy. A man appeared in front of me. He was unfamiliar but I felt comfortable with him/his energy. He was young, maybe mid-thirties, with dark hair and medium skin tone. He was smiling but said nothing.
When I saw him my root chakra lit up and began to swirl with energy. I could feel it about to surge upward but before it could, I shifted back into my body where a nice energy was swirling throughout my body.
I lingered in the energy for a while, shifting in and out of the in-between while a guide spoke to me in images and words. I saw a paper with words printed on it. A section was circled in red ink that said, “Tell me what you would like to know.” Pleased to have the opportunity to request information and knowing the state I was in was ideal for accurate reception of the info, I asked some questions and received answers. Some were not the answers I wanted, such as, “You will see”, but some were immediate and clear.
Of course now I wish I had asked different questions, but there isn’t much I can do about that now. lol
There was a strong vibration that remained with me for some time after waking that was hard to resist. It pulled me back into the in-between time and time again. Much is lost to me now and I am not going to try and recover the info I received because I Know it already even if I cannot access it or put it into words at this present time.
Interpretation
The first part of the experience – the dream part – seems to have been me witnessing the “game” being played by some of my family. It is the mental and logical manipulation of the physical realms. This feels very true to me in the sense that my family is very much caught up in the illusion and enjoys playing the game. I tend to stand back and observe them.
The cutting throats part is very odd to me. Why did I create such a scenario? What was the purpose? It felt like I was just curious. Symbolically it could mean that I am removing obstacles that are keeping me from communicating. The dream characters are allowing me to express myself, my frustrations perhaps, and the end result is I am intrigued by how it felt and how easy it was – like cutting through butter.
The cutting the person as if performing exploratory surgery is also strange. Initially I remember being curious about how much fat would be visible from the inside (she was slightly overweight). For some reason seeing her heart made me stop. Perhaps the girls represented me and I was seeking insight into something about myself?
The rest of the dream appears to have just been me seeking the K energy. The wires feel to be some kind of protection. The fairies are likely symbolic of my inner child and a feeling of magic and creativity.
I continue to have difficulty getting to sleep. Flare activity was high most of the day yesterday, so that is a likely contributor.
I woke around 5am and couldn’t return to sleep until about 6am. I fell into a short dream where I was observing a woman picking up a prescription. Something about the dream brought on lucidity and I shifted OOB.
I had a string of OBE’s after that with each OBE becoming more and more clear as I progressed. My bedroom also changed with each exit. My bed moved from one side of the room to the other with the window remaining in the center.
My vision was off or limited in the first few OBEs and my energy felt shifty and unbalanced. When I would try and leave my bed I felt heavy with blankets or clothing and had to convince myself that I was free of it in order to move away. My vision was off and on. When I could see, it was brief and everything was dark and covered with shadows. In those OBES my attempts to leave my house was unsuccessful. I would reach the front door to my house and return to my body before I could exit. I could make it down the stairs to the front entry but that is it. In one instance my entire front living area was filled with gym equipment and I had to maneuver around it to get to the door.
With each return to my body my lucidity would increase. Eventually, I realized leaving my house via the front was pointless. For some reason that exit was blocked. So, I decided to try my bedroom window. This proved successful and with my first attempt I was able to exit despite several layers of window screens barring my path. The window itself would open and a screen would appear. I would push it aside and another would take its place and then another until finally I decided to mentally remove all barriers. I can’t recall my exact thought but it was something like, “The window is open.”
This is when my OBEs began to become more solid and the experience more realistic. I was able to raise my vibration by singing and sang throughout the rest of my experiences. I can’t recall what I was singing but the few bits and pieces I caught indicated I was encouraging and guiding myself.
My first ventures out my window were short but a pattern emerged after a few successful excursions beyond the limits of my constructed house reality. The seasons changed but the place I visited appeared to remain the same. I am not sure where exactly I was but it was a city, one that was very familiar. In fact, in the few OBEs I’ve had over the course of the last year, this was the city I ended up in whenever I was able to leave my house.
The area near the city resembles a lazy, New England suburb and the city itself feels well established. It had a very downtown feel to it but a downtown that has been updated and modernized. There are lamp posts positioned all along the roads similar to what lines the San Antonio River Walk. Some of the streets are paved with bricks and the sidewalks also have this feature but only at junctures and intersections. The shops are quaint, many with awnings and apartments above. The overall feeling is of a small town but it is anything but that.
With each exit through my window the season changed. Sometimes it was dark and other times it was light outside. Sometimes there was foliage on the trees and other times they were bare.
At one point, I was able to venture far enough away to enter the city itself. I felt myself being pulled upward but I experienced it as if I was learning to control my astral body. It felt very much like I was flying an aircraft, making slight adjustments here and there to remain steady.
Ahead of me I saw lights strung around an outdoor dining area surrounded by thigh-high, red brick walls. The tables were full of people enjoying their meals. When I saw it I immediately wanted to investigate. My main goal was to interact with the people. Maybe I could talk to someone and find out where I was?
I spotted a table. Three people were seated and having dinner. I quickly flew in, landed and approached them only to have one of the men at the table give me a disapproving look. His energy said, “Get out of here. We don’t want you here.” I remember thinking I must have broken a rule. Maybe I wasn’t suppose to be flying? Regardless, the energy of my concern sent me straight back to my body where I quickly recovered and went OOB again.
By this time going OOB felt no different than being awake in the physical. My last exit was so clear and crisp that I had to remind myself I was in the astral.
OBE: Go Back
I flew out my bedroom window and into the tree tops. There were branches in my way, so I pushed them aside. The air was crisp and below me I could see there was snow on the ground. It was still dark out but the area was well illuminated by the city lights.
I flew along without having to fight a pull upwards. It seemed I had mastered flying my astral vehicle. I didn’t notice this, however, as I was reminding myself that I was asleep and OOB. I remember thinking, “Someone pinch me”, because everything was so spectacularly real! I couldn’t believe I had succeeded and was back exploring the astral! I hadn’t had this much lucidity and clarity in so, so long!
I flew through the city. What I recall most is the crispness of the scene. How the darkness was perfectly balanced with the sparkling, city lights. The buildings appeared solid and I could make out the tiniest of details. I took it all in and couldn’t wait to explore.
Suddenly, I heard a masculine voice call out to me from my left. He said, “[Go] back”. I stopped and turned toward the voice in surprise and saw a man floating next to me. He was facing the direction from which I just flew and I knew instantly he was not a dream character but an actual, astral traveler like me. I could see his entire body from head to toe floating there. He had blonde hair and a square jaw like a football player. He was wearing light colored blue jeans, a t-shirt and tennis shoes. He looked to be between the ages of 16-24, likely college aged or close.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I was so surprised to see and hear him so clearly that I froze on the spot and adrenaline poured through me. I tried to stop my reaction because I knew it would pull me back into my body, but I couldn’t control it. I remember thinking, “What did he say? What is he doing here? Who is he?” and more. Not only did I not expect him to be there but seeing him there, floating mid-air, is not something I recall ever seeing while OOB. Why I never have, I don’t know, but seeing him there like that shocked me. The amount of adrenaline I felt is similar to what I’ve felt after narrowly avoiding a car accident. I suspect my reaction was in part due to the fact that everything felt so real and I momentarily believed I was in my physical body walking rather than flying. So seeing him mid-air was unexpected.
When I came back to my body I was worried the man I saw knew where I lived. lol That is how disoriented I was. I quickly recovered but couldn’t return to sleep. It was 6:30am, so I had only been OOB for 30 minutes. It felt like hours!
Considerations
Though the above OBEs are not near as cool as some of my previous ones, I feel like major progress was made. I broke through a self-imposed barrier, one that has been firmly in place for quite a while. That barrier appears in my OBEs as blocked exits. I am not able to get outside and if I do, I usually can’t venture far.
I also recognized that the feeling of being pulled upward, which feels to be controlled by something or someone else, is totally and completely under my control. What is odd is, how I did I get into such a position to believe that to begin with? In my early OBEs I never believed someone else to be controlling where I went, not really. And if I did the control was mutual. I always knew that “other” was me, my HS. Yet here I was learning to fly my astral body all over again. Something I learned to do way back in 2004!
And then, seeing a fellow astral traveler like that and it being the first time I recall such a thing (full-body and in flight), well that is just bizarre! Sure, I’ve seen other travelers but they always felt to be my own creations; part of my constructed reality. This guy was most definitely not! How do I know? I don’t know. I just instantly knew. And the reason he surprised me so much, besides that he was floating there like that, was I assumed the reality I found myself in was one of my constructed ones. How then could someone else be there? Unless….I invited him.
Then, there is what the man said to me. Was he asking me to “go back” to my house? Or just back in the other direction? Or back to my body? I wish I had not reacted like I had. I wish I could’ve talked to him, found out who he was, where we were, etc. Sigh.
On a positive, when I came back to my body it was seamless. No heart flutters or pounding heart. No irregular energy or jagged vibrations. It was an easy, comfortable, settling into my body and return to physical reality.
Before bed last night, I was watching, Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind – Contact Has Begun. I didn’t finish but had just started Part 3. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. I wasn’t very inclined toward the content in Part 1, but Part 2 got my attention.
I’m pretty sure the film impacted my dreams and early morning OBE.
Dream: Planter
I was standing in knee-high flood waters (strong, turbulent emotion). The water was frothy and brown. It churned around me and then subsided.
I walked through a mess of items that was left behind. Trash, mostly. Ahead of me I saw my sister and realized I was at the spot where her RV home was located. She was walking about picking up items. She came up to me and told me she was trying to get Mom to buy her a planter (hope for the future). I thought it a ridiculous idea considering her current state and suggested she use one of the many pieces of junk laying around. I even showed her how, giving her several examples of items she could use.
I noticed she was already using items as planters for various cactuses (mistrust, isolation). Some of them looked sickly. I told her she might consider using an old cooler, one with wheels. This gave me another idea and I suggested she use a small wagon.
Somehow I ended up going to “the house”, which I assume was located nearby but I don’t remember how I got to it. It was very nice and had so many rooms that there was no way just one family could occupy it. I spoke to someone about this as I walked through a living area.
A woman was with me and showed me to a child’s room. It was full of all kinds of items. The woman suggested giving the items to my daughter (child aspect). “Do you think she would like this room?” I said, “Yes! She would LOVE this room!” I explored some of the shelves and one was full of tiny, glass figurines. I remember thinking she might struggle to keep the figurines organized. I, myself, would have loved the room as a girl.
Then I realized I needed to go to the bathroom ( seeking relief) and excused myself to go find one. I ended up going through a very heavy, steel door. When I turned around to latch it I had to really put all my bodyweight into the door to move it in place and latch it closed.
The bathroom itself was not a normal one. It had a very nice sitting area with sofas and a big table. To my right was a full kitchen. The walls were made of bricks and I couldn’t see a toilet anywhere. I went to search the hall behind the kitchen when I heard someone push open the heavy, steel door.
Surprised they got in even though I had locked it, I went to investigate. When I saw two men and a woman standing there I said in an annoyed tone, “Why are you in here!? I locked the door!” One of the men, who looked a lot like my uncle, said something in a harsh tone. It was something like, “Why do you always have to be like this?” I suddenly felt very ashamed but in defense of myself I said, “I had to use the bathroom.” But the feeling of shame lingered and I wondered to myself, “Why do I always act this way?” I could feel a heavy energy forming in my core. It moved upward quickly and I began to sob.
I woke up crying and a little confused. I was upset because the way I acted in the dream is so typical of my life. I end up confused afterward wondering, “Why did I do that?” It feels like I have no control over the things I do and say sometimes. Like someone else is doing it! What is that about?
A guide was close and encouraging. It felt like he wanted me to look.
Memory
A memory came to me, one from many years ago during my first year in college. I was working as a waitress in the town where I graduated even though my college was about 30 minutes away. I had worked there since high school and they asked me to help because they were short staffed. I ended up being the top waitress and so often ended up giving orders to the other waitress, most of which were in high school.
One waitress in particular resented the fact that I told her what to do. I remember asking her to clean the bathroom, checking her work, and seeing she had done nothing despite saying she had cleaned it. I called her on it, she confessed and back talked me, but went back and cleaned it with me watching.
A few days later I was going out to my car. I had recently gotten it as a gift from my Mom. Some of the waitresses were standing near it. The bitter one walked away smirking. At my car, one of the waitresses told me the bitter one had keyed my car. Sure enough the back of car had a long, deep mark on it.
I went to the owner and told him about it. He confronted the waitress and she confessed and he made her apologize. I demanded more be done, but he refused. I wanted him to fire her. My Mom contacted the girl’s mom and tried to get compensation for the damage but nothing ever materialized. I felt so betrayed by the owner that I quit very soon after. I didn’t want to work at a place that condoned childish behavior.
This memory was long ago discarded but now it was back. I realized I was being shown the memory because I had missed something. So I inspected how I had treated the girl and my reaction. I also considered the girl’s perspective and my boss’s.
Ultimately, I realized the girl’s family was likely very poor. I also knew my boss only hired girls who needed the job – for various reasons, he was kind-hearted. He was also short-staffed so would not want to fire someone for something they did off shift.
My tendencies when I was young were I to act without thinking. I often came across to others as unyielding and harsh. I am and always have been blunt and tend to speak my mind. I don’t often consider how others might receive me. I most definitely did not give this girl any respect and treated her like a child, scolding her for trying to avoid doing her job. Yet, when I considered her background, I sympathized for her. She was young and inexperienced. She saw my car as something expensive (it wasn’t but to her it was). She wanted me to feel what she felt and the only thing she knew to do was key my car. In the end, I could care less. I didn’t buy that car, my Mom did. I ended up trading it in on a much better one later. And that poor girl would likely have to work three times as hard as me to get a car like that!
But, honestly, she was not a good worker. She was lazy and idle, preferring to chat with her “friends” (they ratted her out) and linger in the kitchen. She often ignored her tables and I had to take up the slack. When I called her out, she couldn’t handle it.
In the end, though, I recognized that everyone in this memory was me. I treat myself harshly. I also forgive and give second chances, like my boss. All of it, every single part of the memory, was me. And my response to my guide’s questioning energy was understanding of this fact.
So how then do I explain feeling unable to control my response to others? I realized I behaved just as I was meant to. I may not know the full reasoning but it will be clear at some point.
OBE: Laser Beam
I became aware of hearing a radio playing in my room. The sound became very loud to the point that I knew what I was hearing were noises-off. I kept peeling away from my sleeping body to see the source of the music. I could see an alarm clock far across the room and had a “memory” of messing with the controls. I thought it must have gone off like it does sometimes when I push the sleep button on accident.
When I lay back down in my sleeping body is when I realized, 1. I was not in my bedroom but in one from my past. 2. I was already OOB because I could feel my astral body shift off my sleeping one when I moved. Because it all felt so real, I sat there contemplating whether I should test my theory. Eventually, I just sat up and floated out of my sleeping body and landed by the side of the bed near the open bedroom door.
My vision was shifty and dark indicating I was likely in a lower portion of the astral. I walked up to the front door and held my hands in front of my face to try and see them. I saw nothing but still said, “Clarity now” but I knew it wouldn’t work this time.
I flew outside where it was also dark. I couldn’t figure out if it was my vision that was turned off or if it was really dark. I felt my astral body pulled upward and said to whoever was in control, “Not so fast” and “No, I don’t want to go too high (meaning space).” I attempted to see below and occasionally got a glimpse of tree branches with newly sprouted, bright green leaves. At another time I saw the starry sky overhead in such detail it was surprising.
I’m not sure why I was resistant to the pull but I kept asking someone – “It” – to keep me fairly low to the ground. I did not want to go “to space” which is where I felt “It” wanted to take me.
Ultimately, this struggle brought me back to my sleeping body but I did not leave the astral. Instead, I made my way back outside. I don’t remember much of this trip except that I began to sing at the top of my lungs. This cleared my vision to the point that I realized it was indeed dark outside. I was able to see the area around my Mom’s house and flew around as I sang. I don’t remember what I was singing but I do know I was using my singing voice to talk to “It”, that powerful force that was still attempting to take me “up there”.
At one point I spotted a solid black pickup truck parked by the house. I was still singing and remember saying something to “It” about the truck. I wanted to see someone inside and had hoped I could manifest them, but it was empty. So, I picked up the truck and carried it with me up into the sky. It had no weight at all and for some reason I liked having it close to me. Eventually, the truck’s windows became black like the rest of the vehicle and it took on an unfamiliar shape. It was elongated with rounded corners and I was extremely shiny to the point that if I wasn’t looking for it, I wouldn’t have seen it. It would have blended in with the night; become invisible.
I grew bored of flying and wanted more interaction. This brought me back to my body once again. This time, though, I was talking to “It” when I heard a loud bang. I jumped and went to the window where the noise originated. To my surprise I saw someone outside facing me. I couldn’t tell who it was at first because the blinds were in the way. Looking more closely I recognized the person. I thought, “It’s my daughter!” I banged on the window in response and saw her smile and laugh. She had been trying to scare me.
I quickly flew to the front door and outside to meet her. We hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I asked her, “How did you get here?” She pointed to a vehicle parked at the end of the sidewalk. I saw a dark colored SUV. The passenger window was rolled down.
Excited to have my daughter with me, I urged her to come flying with me. I flew up to the treetops. From that vantage point the full moon was visible. It was low in the sky and extremely oversized; massive. It wasn’t white but had a yellow tinge and the “face” of the moon was quite distinct. Excited, I yelled, “Look! It’s the full moon!” It took my breath away and so I figured it would also interest my daughter. It didn’t. She went her own way.
Realizing I was now alone, I went down to the waiting vehicle to see who had brought my daughter to me. I peered inside and saw two young Hispanic girls. The one in the driver’s seat had a small child in her lap. I said, “Oh, you have a baby!” and then corrected myself, “No, a child, with you.” In the back seat were more children. They had blankets and were not sitting in the seat but snuggling together behind the driver’s seat. I said to them, ‘You should put on your seatbelts.” The driver said, “We will.”
That’s when I noticed something odd. The two older girls had very large guns with them. They were black and I saw no distinguishing marks but I assumed they were machine guns by their size. I said, “You have guns?” They didn’t look concerned so I reached toward the gun the passenger was holding. She handed it to me barrel first and it was heavy and cold in my hand. Feeling the weight of it I said, “Woah.” I knew it was dangerous to take the gun barrel first but she didn’t even flinch.
I wondered if it was loaded so turned away from the car and aimed the gun at the darkness beyond. When I fired it did not make any noise. Instead, a green dot appeared in the distance. It was fairly large and just hovered there. I questioned the girl, “This is a flare gun?” She nodded her head. I asked who it was for. She said, “Protectors. They will come now.” In my mind I envisioned an army of armed men in black would be coming soon but knew that was inaccurate. I didn’t know if I should be worried or not, so stood there watching the green light. It wasn’t fading and was very obvious in the darkness.
The last thing I recall is seeing two Rottweilers intertwined, curled up together as if sleeping but their faces indicated they were on alert. Their positioning reminded me of the Yin-Yang symbol.
I returned to my sleeping body and lingered there for a while. My body was uncomfortable. My left arm a bit numb. So I settled into my body, moved my arm and opened my eyes.
Part of a song repeated in my head, “Don’t you worry child, heaven’s got a plan for you.”
Considerations
The movie I was watching was on my mind as I fell asleep. I was talking to one of my guides throughout the movie. I was curious about CE-5, the method/project used to make contact. I thought about trying it but realized I had no interest in getting the E.T. to materialize for me. They already did, back in 1989. They seem to come to me without me asking or calling them. In fact, I think the guides I speak to are Them.
The last portion of my OBE reflects what I watched. The green light, specifically, is like the laser pointers used to point out the craft in the night sky. Like other OBEs, the “force” I feel pulling me was present, but this time, rather than assume that force was me, it felt to be an Other. I also did not want to go “up” despite knowing from previous experience that it often means I will be taken to extraordinary places.
I did ask to resume Contact, which could mean anything, really. I never initiated Contact to begin with and would never ask Them to come display themselves as proof they exist. I already Believe and have reached what the participants of CE-5 are seeking on my own. Yet, I do feel They have more to teach me. All I can do is ask Them to show me what I need. And it appears I needed to be reminded that we are all One, as per my first dream.
Next time I plan to just go “up there” when they start tugging on my astral body. I already know what happens. I speed up to the point I can’t imagine going any faster. I lose my astral vision, enter the void, and “blink” to a new location.
We returned from Montana last night. I didn’t get much sleep because there were as many fireworks as the 4th of July. Never heard so much noise on New Year’s Even before. I hate to burst everyone’s bubble of hope, but I highly doubt 2021 will be much better than 2020 no matter how much you celebrate it’s passing. The world has a tough decade ahead and this is not just me being a pessimist.
To give you an idea of what I feel is coming up this year (at least for me), I was met by a gruesome sight on my morning walk. Right before I saw the below image, I had been wondering what 2021 would bring:
A dead rabbit. 😦 This is symbolic of loss, usually the loss of a relationship, friendship or family connection.
Not far from the rabbit was a flathead screwdriver.
My guess is there is quite a bit of work to be done this year.
Montana Trip
But this post isn’t about what is to come, it’s about my trip and how I ended the year.
My children did excellent for their first time traveling by plane. Everything went smoothly with some added bonuses. We got a rental upgrade and a room upgrade when we arrived in Bozeman, the weather was perfect, the roads were clear and the air not too cold. We spent the first day on the slopes of Bridger Bowl Ski Area and the last day near the same ski area at a place called Crosscut Mountain Sports Center where we tried cross country skiing. All three skiing adventures were firsts for my kids. My husband had never tried cross country skiing and I had not done either type of skiing for at least 20 years.
I spent the first two days with my youngest and did not really doing any downhill skiing, which didn’t bother me because, though I can do it, I never really found it fun. I don’t enjoy going fast and do not like heights. When I was young I had plenty of experiences with downhill skiing but put it on my “been there, done it, got the t-shirt” list. I prefer cross country skiing to the downhill version so much that I actually owned my own skis, boots and poles when I lived in Bozeman. 🙂
We didn’t get to do much more than that except on the last day when we visited the Museum of the Rockies on the MSU campus. We ended our day activities before 5pm when the sun set.
I had no past issues come up during this visit. Bozeman has changed dramatically in the last 20 years! When I lived there every native Montanan complained about the number of Californians moving in, buying up land and pushing up the cost of nearly everything. I remember someone once saying their (the Californian’s) goal in Bozeman was to make it “the next Aspen” – a vacation destination during both summer and winter months. Looks like they met their goal. The small town is now full of every modern convenience and there was little left of the sleepy little college mountain town I once loved. Bozeman no longer resembles “genuine” Montana living. Instead, it feels very much like Austin does – dotted with “McMansions”, homes built to look “modern” and expensive, sidewalks and trails made for suburban living, and expensive designer shops everywhere.
Very few people I encountered in Bozeman were locals. They didn’t have the typical Montana accent. Most were from out-of-state, college students lured by the outdoors, the mountain skiing, and proximity to Yellowstone National Park. In fact, on the ski slopes we were told that there were a lot of Texans skiing on the days we were there. Ha! I met a family from Georgia and Louisiana, too. There were more “ya’lls” being spoken than “you guys” that is for sure. More “Coke” drinkers than “Pop” drinkers. Sigh.
We stayed at a hotel that was located in what was once a huge field adjacent to the Costco. The entire field was full of hotels, shops and restaurants. It really did look freakily like Austin! They even had an Outback Steakhouse, a Target, a Ross, and other shops similar to the ones I frequent near my home. My first reaction was, “WTF! What happened to the field!?” lol When I left in 2000 there was Wal-Mart (across town) and Costco and that is about it.
All in all, the trip was a good one but not a healing one. Old memories didn’t resurface. There was one exception, though. On one of our many drives through the city, I saw the Bozeman Inn and said to my husband as I turned and pointed, “Wal-Mart is over there”. Sure enough, past the next light there it was, just as I remembered. I must have driven that route a hundred times. So I guess some of Bozeman is still the same as it was 20 years ago. 🙂
Surprise OBE December 29th
On the second night of our stay I had a surprise OBE. I made sure to write it down to record when I returned, so here it is.
I remember talking to someone who told me that he would love to meet me for lunch when I was in New York. I remember thinking it odd. “I’m not in New York and won’t be….”I thought. When I realized I was dreaming, I decided to exit my body even though I felt for sure I was wide awake.
Sure enough I easily left my body. I went toward the door and ended up outside my mom’s house standing next to a large pick-up truck. I knew that if I opened the door my guide would be inside. Excited, I went toward the door but was pulled upward at lightning fast speeds, up, up into space. I felt strongly from within, “No….” Ugh! I couldn’t do anything except allow and when I did I ended up standing in front of a door.
I opened the door. When I went inside I saw an Indian woman and her two sons. When they saw me they totally freaked out and began to run away from me, muttering something about ghosts. I called to them, telling them it was okay and showing them I was as real as them. They seemed to know me and I felt that I must be a grandmother to the boy. I went up to him and kissed him and ruffled his hair, speaking to him the whole time. Some part of me intimately knew this family.
I remember as I spoke that my voice was masculine and I questioned this but then decided to let it go. I knew if I tried to analyze it I would end my OBE and I wanted to stay. I thought, “Who cares if I sound like a man?” lol
The family relaxed and then showed me how the home had changed. I was taken to the back where they were putting in a huge swimming pool. I explored it and discovered there were two pools. The first was cold and deep. The second was shallow and warm with little kiddie pools and a tube slide. I got into the second pool with the two kids and ended up lost in a dream within a dream. I believe I was talking about a past life and ended up reliving it.
When I came back to my body it was by choice. I remember thinking, “I’m ready to go back now.”
Pictures
I will leave you with a few pics of our trip. Most are pics of the mountains but there is also a pic of a T-Rex at the Museum of the Rockies, the MSU Campus sign and the image of the mountains through the windows of the airport. No pics of me and my family, though. Keeping those to myself.
I got an unexpected OBE this morning. It was short but followed by some interesting messages.
Dream: Teaching Assignment
The dream takes place in a non-traditional school environment. I am working there and talking to the principal and other teachers about the end of the school year which is fast approaching. This is a self-paced school and the students are expected to reach their goals in a timely fashion but are not forced to adhere to specific syllabus or itinerary.
At first we are talking about an email virus (interference in communication) that has been infecting our work computers. I see the email containing the virus in my inbox. It seems to replicate and I hurry to delete it.
Then the principal asks me if I think all my students will be done by the end of the school year. I say “no”. The principal asks how much time I think they need and I say, “Another four weeks, at least until the July break (4th of July).” A co-worker acts surprised and I mention how I will take my summer break then. She looks even more surprised and I ask, “Don’t you have a summer break here?” I am told school is year-long.
Next, I remember pacing back and forth in front of my mother’s house talking to someone about how my current employment as a teacher is in my favor. It can help me find another job, one where there is a summer break (need for a break). It feels like I am trying to convince myself that everything will be okay because I have a Plan B.
Then I am watching as the children head down a steep set of stairs (levels of consciousness) to go home or to lunch. A group of hillbilly looking people drive up. They have a trailer attached to their truck. It is filled with all sorts of birds – chickens and turkeys (cowardice) mainly. The principal says the group is a family who he is trying to nudge away from his school. It feels like they are a nuisance. We begin to usher the kids back up the stairs but it is very steep and the top step very high. I have to help a little girl (aspect of myself) who I think of as my daughter because she is so little and the step so tall. She makes it with my help and we stand on the balcony watching the hillbilly family below.
The principal makes a deal with the family who offers to use his turkeys and chickens as a petting zoo for the kids. He warns us to not let the children get too close or they might get pecked.
OBE: Silent Night
I am aware of lying in my bed and hear a familiar clapping beat to my left. I say familiar because I heard it yesterday morning. The clapping goes along with drums but I don’t hear the drums, I feel them. I am following along, trying to learn the rhythm. Yesterday morning I was actually saying the rhythm while clapping, “Da, daa, da-da, da, da…” As my mom, a music teacher for 30+ years, would have said it, “Ta, ta-i, ti-ti, ta ta.”
Unlike yesterday, this morning I recognize that these are a type of “noises off” except that focusing on them doesn’t keep me from going OOB, they assist me. As I decide to shift OOB I feel heavy blankets (security, protection) over my head and shoulders. I will them away, clapping my hands harder and singing the rhythm louder. In my memory I see the music I am making move the blankets off of me and I feel lighter as they fall away.
Out of bed and OOB, I head toward my bedroom door and easily pass through it. It acts like a portal and I find myself floating down, down, down towards a school setting with wood flooring and toys scattered about. I set my eyes on something, a toy of some sort, but I can’t recall what it was now, and head toward it, curious and feeling somewhat out of character for myself while in my astral form. Something catches my eye from behind me and I turn to see a man standing, hands casually clasped behind his back. He feels like a teacher and is dressed very casually in a blue polo shirt and jeans. He is looking at me and sending me a telepathic message for me to come over, so I do.
On the floor at his feet is a fluffy teddy bear (trust, security, companionship) with a large object in its hands. I want to say it is a megaphone (need to hear something) but it is hard to say. It is definitely shaped like one and is red in color. I lean in and snuggle the bear and the man says, “He is saying something. Listen.” He again says this telepathically so there are no words but rather it is like a hum or energy inside me that urges me to pay attention to the tiny bear.
I put my ear up to the bear’s mouth and listen. I don’t hear anything so I listen harder, stilling myself in order to catch even the faintest of sounds. I hear a small voice, very faint and it is singing a song. I listen and catch the bear’s words and know he is singing a lullaby. He sings, “Silent night….” but in the tune of the familiar ABC Song.
Caught off guard by the message I am receiving and not understanding I look up to question the man but don’t remember if he is there. I decide to explore the area more but am stopped by the familiar sensations of shifting back into my body.
In-Between
I shift back into my body which feels very heavy with energy focused in my mid-section. I receive visions and communication from the same man from my OBE for some time after. In these visions he is next to me. I am seated in a captain’s type wooden chair with a tall back that reaches shoulder height. The man pulls up another chair but does not sit in it. The feeling is the chair is meant for a visitor but that visitor is not the man. Am I waiting for someone? I feel the answer is yes.
The man tells me something but his exact words are lost to me despite my repeating them over and over in order to recall them. The meaning remains and it is that they (my Team I guess) will assist me with a type of re-integration and healing. I am frustrated to not recall the word he used because it made so much sense to me in the moment! Yet now I have no clue other than a feeling that lingers and suggests a “piece” being re-placed via a type of “lesson” that is forthcoming.
I remember seeing the edge of a pool, its waters crystal blue, calm and clear. I hear the man say, “See” and I know he is indicating the waters are related to my spiritual state, not just a “clearing” or healing. When I visit waters like this in my dreams and OBEs I find them delightful, calming and peaceful with a sense of freedom and fluidity that is hard to describe.
I am reminded of a message I woke to yesterday morning. Someone was whispering to me, “En Fuego.” All day I thought, “I should look that up just to be sure of it’s meaning” but I never did. I already new it meant, “On Fire” and was likely a message relating to the Kundalini “fire”. Later that day I was driving home from the store and heard a duet on the radio. The song stirred something in me and I remember how music and singing light up my soul. I began to fall into the song, seeing the voices as the masculine and the feminine energies within me. They danced together as the two voices in the song harmonized and I felt it within myself. It was beautiful but sadly it was interrupted by a phone call. 😦
In reflecting on the water symbolism along with this message of being “on fire” I can’t help but think of the elements and astrology. I am Leo – a fire sign. Water signs are strangely attractive to me, likely because they are my opposite. I can’t help but wonder if I am being asked to immerse myself in the opposite “element” to create a catalytic effect. Perhaps that empty chair holds the answer?
After hearing my husband brag about an OBE he had two nights ago, I went to bed last night feeling a bit jealous. I have been sleeping really deeply lately so my dreams are often lost upon waking. The tiredness keeps me from lucid dreams and OBEs so when I wake I feel like I’m missing out. So I said to my guidance, “I would really like something interesting to happen tonight.”
Something woke me up around 2am. I have no clue what but I ended up going downstairs to get a drink and was wide awake by the time I got back in bed. Seeing the perfect opportunity to try WBTB (wake back to bed), I began to repeat in my mind, “I am now out of body” over and over. To be honest, I have never tried the repeat method but heard an online friend of mine has success with it so I figured, why not?
As I was repeating “I am now out of body” one of my guides reminded me to set an intention for my projection. I thought about it and told him I wanted to be shown what I need to see (one of my favorite intentions) and when I can go Home (lol) because I have been so, so bored lately.
OBE
I don’t know when I shifted because I can’t recall feeling any vibrations. What I recall next is sitting in my bed as the body of a warm cat pushed itself against my hands. The cat was purring and I could see it was brown tabby. I remember thinking, “I don’t own a cat….” and then realizing I was OOB and could take over the experience. I chose not to take control, though, instead allowing the experience to show me what I had asked to be shown.
As I petted the cat (female sexuality, femininity), I heard music in my mind and sang along to the familiar song while also recognizing it was a message from my guides or Higher Self in response to my request to be allowed to cut this life short out of “boredom”. I wish I could remember the song now but all I can recall is that it was something like, “Why give up now when you’ve come so far?” Knowing it was a message I needed to remember, I grabbed a pencil and began to write it down on a piece of paper.
Then I noticed that the paper was covered in algebra problems and I remember thinking it would be a nice way to occupy my mind and time. So I set to solving the equations but also knew it, too, was a message. Algebra and math was always easy for me in school. I loved the challenge and the step-by-step process and rules to follow. So perhaps there is something in life that is similar?
Recognizing the messages I had been waiting for had been revealed, I got up and took over the OBE, flying out of my bedroom and down the stairs to the front door. When I opened the front door it flew open and disappeared. Outside the sky changed from dreary, dark and rainy to blue skies and a brilliant day. In front of me was a forest of Magnolia trees (a strong will and resolve to make changes in life when needed). When I noticed them I felt giddy with glee.
As I flew among the trees I saw that the dreary, rainy skies were all around me but I was left untouched inside my bubble of light. I remember thinking the rain and dreariness would surely get me, but my bubble of light remained and I took thrill in this.
Then a force began to pull me upward. I surrendered to it, allowing myself to be pulled upward with greater and greater speed. My eyes automatically closed but every once in a while I would peek out and I would see those Magnolia trees below me. I smiled and then shifted back into my body.
Message: Go to Florida
When I shifted back to my body I remained in the in-between as I thought of the OBE I had just had. My memory here is faded, though. I know I went back OOB but I don’t remember anything about it except talking to someone and being told, “Go to Florida.”
When I woke I struggled to remember the song I had been singing in my OBE. For some reason the song, A Whole New World was in my head, but I know that was not the song. The section of the song that was repeating, “I can show you the world….let me share this whole new world with you.”
I am not sure what the message about Florida is all about. lol It felt like when the opportunity arises I should go, whenever – if ever – that is.
It’s been a busy week and with Christmas just around the corner I expect it to just get busier. My husband is back home at least, which helps. 🙂
I’ve started a new Kundalini Yoga meditation routine and plan to continue it for the recommended 40 days. The meditations are one of many from the book I recently purchased called The Art of Making Sex Sacred. I specifically selected two meditation to help me with specific issues. The first is a meditation to work on trust, trust of others, of life and of self. The second is to assist with stress and anxiety. It is composed of breathwork, or pranayama. You take 8 deep, quick breaths in through your nose, filling your lungs completely, and then let out a long breath through your nose for 8 counts that empties your lungs completely.
Here is an example of the first meditation. You only have to do 1.5 minutes, then you can build up to the full 11 minutes:
Here is an example of the second meditation. Again, you build up to the full length.
I have completed about five days of my 40 so far and for two days now have noticed some subtle energy in my third-eye and crown when meditating. Last night the second meditation was very, very relaxing to me. I could have done if much longer than I did. Breathwork seems always to be the most relaxing to me anyway (except Breath of Fire), so I am not surprised.
The videos are an excellent way to begin practicing these meditations. This particular woman has several on her YouTube channel you can check out. I do not use the videos myself because 1. I can’t do the mediation as long as she does and 2. I find the computer prevents me from relaxing fully.
Short OBE
I’ve not been sleeping very well for about a week beginning around the recent full moon. Thankfully, last night I slept really well and this morning was gifted with a lovely OBE.
My youngest woke up crying because his leg was asleep and so I got up briefly to help him manage it. When I attempted to return to sleep I just sort of meditated and drifted into the in-between.
Somehow I found myself conversing with someone I did not see but I could hear his voice quite clearly. The last thing I remember him saying is, “Go to [look through] the blinds.”
I became aware of being able to leave my body and so I did, floating up above it and letting myself be drawn as if by an unseen force into the space next to my bed. As I floated I kept my eyes closed and just relaxed. I began to sing a song about love but I can’t recall the words now even though I remembered them for some time after coming back into my body.
I floated on my back, facing the ceiling, and finally opened my eyes just slightly to see where I was. There was a sense that if I opened my eyes I would see the bedroom and it would pull me back into my body but I still peaked out. Above me the ceiling was much higher, a dome that extended at least a hundred feet above me. The dome was filled with glass – windows I think – that sparkled with light like crystals. What is interesting is that at my level the bedroom looked like it normally does. Knowing I was very close to my sleeping body, I closed my eyes to avoid the possibility of losing such a pleasant experience.
Eventually I shifted to a more vertical position. Eyes still closed, I continued to sing and noted the quality of my voice was much more feminine and smooth than it is in the physical. It was almost angelic and there was a sweetness to it that pleased me. The words I sang were about love, a deep, connected love; Divine love.
I remembered (or maybe was reminded) of what I was told prior to exiting my body – “Go to the blinds.” I floated over to where the window was, took one finger to the blinds and opened them, intending to look through the window. Before I could look out my intent shifted as if pulled away by my Higher Self and my focus shifted within. My lower chakras began to fill with a pleasant energy that morphed into the Kundalini bliss of which I am so familiar. The energy pulled me into the physical. I lingered in my bed, eyes closed, for a while, enjoying the energy and not wanting it to end.
Song
Intent on remembering the song I was singing, I went over it and over it for as long as I could but must have been pulled into the in-between because there is a space in my memory that is lost. Then I heard something downstairs and got up quickly. When I returned to bed I had forgotten my song. Another song was on my mind, though, one that I have been hearing upon waking for a couple of days now:
The lyrics that tend to repeat in my head are: “I believe that the heart does go on”. Yet this morning the part that was repeating was, “Once more you open the door.”
It seems to me that my guide was asking me to go to the blinds, to look through them, in an attempt to show me something within myself that is always there: Love/Divine Connection/Bliss. In my OBE when I went to the blinds and attempted to look out the window I was pulled within and into the Kundalini bliss.
I also feel as if the lyrics I heard this morning are a message that my heart will be “opened” again.
It has been an eventful few days. It feels like some major shifts are underway, and not just energetically.
First, I’ve had some developments in terms of my spiritual services. For the first time in a while I did a session in my own home. I smudged the entire home first and then set up an area downstairs. The energy felt very good and balanced and the session went well. With my children gone at school all day I can return to offering my services in-person and so this was the first step in doing that.
Another interesting development was that yesterday I was offered a part-time personal training job at the YMCA. I applied back at the end of September and out of the blue they called, interviewed and offered me a job on the spot. I have yet to receive the paperwork I need to complete but feel like this is an opportunity to go in a new direction if I want.
Spiritually, yesterday I felt strong energy in my third-eye. It has been such a long time since I have experienced that, so it was nice! I have been feeling less and less anxious, too, which is wonderful and could indicate a successful clearing of a stubborn blockage.
Then last night I had an unexpected OBE followed by a dream where I was given a message.
OBE: Impressionable
I had a few exits from my body. When I exited the first time, I went out my bedroom door and was pull right back into my body. The second time I felt like I had blankets wrapped around my feet. I kicked them off and headed out into the hallway. I tried to look at my hands to solidify my energy, but couldn’t see them. My vision would not turn on. My energy felt odd, too – not heavy, not unstable, just different. I remained in this portion of the astral for a while but I don’t remember much now. I think I ran into my middle son, though. I also believe I made it outside because that is where I was when I went back to my body.
On my third exit I came out of my body feeling much more stable. I could see but it was dark in my bedroom. I moved through the hallway and down the stairs where I encountered my sons. They were very active, like flying in zigzags around me similar to how they act when they are playing. I invited them to come outside with me and they did.
Outside it was dark and unfamiliar. The streets were there but not in the right place. I recall walking down the street with my son when I saw a young man walking toward us. He had on a hooded sweatshirt and was no one I knew. I approached him and asked him who he was. I suspected he was not real but when he responded intelligently I remember correcting myself aloud saying, “Oh, you aren’t a ghost” or something similar.
Then a strange looking vehicle came to pick up the young man. It was triangle shaped and low to the ground. The top of the triangle was the roof and it was flat. I jumped on top of it and sat down, noticing the two doors hinged open, connected the the top. I said, “Wow! We must be in the future!” I don’t recall if the vehicle had wheels. I don’t think so.
Then my vision began to fade out and I felt like I was going to go back to my body. I didn’t want this so remember talking to myself about how to get more stable. I began to look up at the sky, which I couldn’t see, and tell myself how I controlled my experience. I said, “The sky is beautiful” and imagined a colorful sunrise/sunset with oranges and yellows, fluffy clouds, etc. To my surprise the picture manifested, chasing away the darkness. I floated face up there a while marveling at the sky.
To my surprise, my vision blacked out for a while and I felt myself making a shift. When my vision returned I was inside a room full of individual, divided desks like you would see at a testing center. Some of the desks had people sitting at them. I walked around the room, seemingly talking to myself about whether I had time to do what I needed to and decisions that needed to be made. I can’t recall now what it was, though. It felt like I was being asked to make an appointment. Maybe to take a test or be evaluated? Whatever it was, it felt like I was seeking counsel.
The room layout had the desks in a U-shaped format and as I walked back around to the start of it I encountered a woman sitting at a desk. Her location in the room made her seem like a proctor or at the very least a teacher. When I saw her my entire OBE solidified instantly. Her face became the focal point, crystal clear in my vision to the point that I do not even remember her having a body. When I saw her I studied her face a while and thought to myself, “I know her.” She was about my age, plain looking with her brown hair pulled back tightly around her face. Her face was oval with a prominent chin. She had brown eyes and thin lips.
She spoke to me. “You’re impressionable,” she said matter-of-factly. I was still staring at her marveling at how crystal clear she was and how real the experience was.
A female voice from behind me said, “You’re suppose to be here to help.” I glanced behind me and saw the voice came from a student dressed in plain clothing that looked like a uniform.
I responded to both of them with, “I’m definitely not very welcoming.” I smiled, laughing a bit but they did not laugh. Realizing this was “serious” I focused back on the woman.
She said to me, “You still have a little time left.” As she said this, she turned to a bulletin board as if showing me something, but I didn’t look at the board so I don’t know if it had any information on it pertaining to me.
I woke not long after the last message. I returned to my body slowly and recall not resisting it. A part of me wanted to wake up.
Message
It was 4:30am. I couldn’t return to sleep after that. There was more to the words throughout this interaction. Most of it was unsaid; telepathic. I was going over and over the memory. I knew I needed to remember.
When I was told I was impressionable I felt like it had to do with life distracting me. Physical life changes my personality. I go from free-loving, free-flowing, open and positive to overly serious and easily bogged down by things that are not really important. However, upon further inspection, it could have been that she wanted me to know that I am open or receptive right now.
When I was reminded that I am here to help, I recall thinking I was suppose to be “welcoming” others to Earth. There was more a feeling of this than a thought. A visual comes to mind. I am standing, waiting at the threshold between the old and the new Earth. People come through this opening or gate and I welcome them. These people are just waking up. It feels like my job is to greet and direct them on to their destination. I knew I was not doing a good job of it, which is why I laughed saying I was not very welcoming.
I am then reminded that I chose to stay a bit longer. My previous dream comes to mind where I felt I was given an option to stay here and continue this life/work or go to a healing place and resume my work as a teacher. How much time “a little time” is, I don’t know.
Dream: Godmother
Somehow I managed to fall asleep and entered into a semi-lucid dream at my grandparent’s old house. Inside it looked more like a doctor’s office, though. I was taken to a room, which had a patient chair draped in white, and directed to lay on it. I did as I was told. An older woman with gray hair entered the room. I called her by name but all I remember of the name is “Godmother”. The woman began to tell me things about another person, things I needed to know in order to help them. The person was male but she never gave a name. She told me that he was likely to fixate on something. All I remember of the details are images that resembled a calendar with weeks highlighted. It felt like he would be fixated on something for weeks. I remember feeling a bit out of it during this time, like I was in a trance or like I was not meant to remember the details so my memory was wiped or a block was placed.
The woman left and I realized she had never told me his name. I got up and followed her. When I saw her I tapped her on the back to get her attention. When she turned around she looked different, old and gray but different, but I knew it was still her. I said, “What is his name? You never told me his name?” She said, “How should I know?” I said, “How am I suppose to help him if I don’t know his name?” She never answered and I shifted into another dream.
Living Life in Between 