Tag Archives: bear

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OBE: Bear

Yesterday was another rough day anxiety-wise. I felt pretty decent most of the morning. After my morning walk and a nice, high carb lunch, I decided to do my workout. Half-way through I began to feel panicky and had to stop. My heart rate stayed high but not too high and I just felt “off”. It is like my entire stomach fills with this dis-ease and that feeling moves to my chest where it feels like it begins to catch fire, but only barely, a subtle pressure in the center of my chest.

I ended up calling my husband and he came home for lunch and helped me calm down but I remained in a low-grade panicked state for several hours after that (like right on the edge and barely holding myself together). It wasn’t until around 8pm after a nice talk with a female acquaintance that I finally began to feel normal again.

By bedtime I was exhausted but I continued to feel a little too energetic so it took me a while to fall asleep. I ended up having an interesting night.

Dream – Too Old for School

Had a dream where I was getting ready to go to school with my kids but we were in my Mom’s house. IĀ  spent a long time trying to find the right clothes (how others perceive me, outward appearance/personality). I could not find anything with short sleeves. Some of the clothing was quite dated, too.

I remember the closet was a mess with my son’s clothes strewn about mixed in with my daughter’s clothes. I eventually selected an outfit with jeans and a very fancy top, high heels and over sized glasses (not at all my style lol). When I came out my mom said I was a bit too dressed up and looked like a teacher. I saw myself then, as if I flew outside of myself to take a look. I had small lines around my eyes and mouth and looked old and tired. That’s when I realized I was too old to go to school. So I stayed and put on another outfit. This one looked like a balloon skirt and was bright aqua-blue. It made me look quite obese.

Other Experiences

In the midst of a dream I can’t recall now, I found myself enveloped in a golden light laying on my side. I remember being separated into four sections. I continued to feel whole but there were four parts of me lined up and separated. The feeling I had was pure relaxation and peace. It was like tiny sprinkles of golden energy were falling down over me. When I realized where I was a male voice said, “Don’t worry” but it was too late. I was too alert and woke up.

Another time when I woke it was from a sharp pain in my chest. It was very short-lived but enough to wake me and worry me.

OBE – Bear

I rolled over and entered a semi-lucid dream where I was sitting on a sofa and kept sneezing (getting rid of unwanted things in my life). My SIL was standing near me and asked me how long I had been sick. I told her I wasn’t sick. It was just allergies. She asked how long it had been going on and I told her since the end of August. I remember sneezing a lot and she just sat there wiping her face as if I was sneezing directly on her but I was nowhere near her.

Then I was talking to my husband. He was behind a window (new perspective) with his arms folded over it. He said his brother thought I had been trying to hack into his computer. I told him I hadn’t.

Then I was walking to his brother’s house. I walked down a sidewalk and saw a blue cell phone (communication) on the ground along with some other things. I remember thinking my BILs kids must have left it there. I almost picked it up but then opted to just leave it knowing they would come out and get it.

As I was walking I felt light and floaty. I suspected I was OOB so began to test it out by jumping into the air and trying to fly. When I didn’t hit the ground fast but instead floated a bit I launched into the air. My vision went black but I didn’t care. I stayed up in the air, happy and feeling free. Even though I knew I was OOB I had a distinctly distant feeling from the whole experience and I was able to perceive my sleeping body the entire time.

I began to spin really fast, imagining the Earth spinning on its axis. I began see bits and pieces of color as I spun. Then the whole scene lit up and I saw ahead of me a red brick building. To my right was bright green grass and a sidewalk with tall hedges. I floated up and moved over the building, enjoying the feeling of flying. There was a brief concern about my sleeping body. Would it cause my heart rate to increase? Would it be harmful? But the thought passed as quickly as it came.

When I looked down I noticed a big, black bear (strength, power, independence) nudging its way into the door of the house/apt. I yelled at him, “Hey! What do you think you are doing? You can’t go in there!” I flew over and above the bear’s head. He stopped and looked up. I lightly touched the tip of his nose, laughed and launched myself higher into the air. He followed me from below, curious, and I kept just out of his reach. The whole time I was talking to him but can’t recall my words now.

I came back into my body and my heart was pounding.

More Anxiety

My heart rate remained elevated long enough to bother me so that eventually I got out of bed. I felt the weird anxious feeling most of the day today on and off. I opted to go into the office rather than stay home because I wanted to stay close to my husband and others just in case I started to feel overwhelmed again. Thankfully, I felt pretty good at the office. Only problem was I got a splitting headache (still have it) from not drinking any coffee this morning. šŸ˜¦

I had my husband drop me home after lunch so I could be home when the kids got home from school. My headache got really bad and so I got into bed to rest. I ended up taking an hour long nap! Not like me! I feel somewhat better now but the headache is still there. Oh well.

It is funny to me how wonderful I feel when the anxiety dissipates. I suddenly feel a burst of energy and relief, as if I am freed from chains. When the anxiety is high I feel trapped by it, unable to go places or do things I would normally do for fear that I will freak out, pass out or burst into tears. Where I am normally a person who likes my alone time, when my anxiety is high I actively seek out others, especially my family. My husband has been very patient and sympathetic, coming whenever I call, driving me places and trying to distract me.

The anxiety makes me feel like a scared little girl and the entire world is suddenly full of things that could hurt me. It is so weird! I have to really work hard not to get caught up in “what if” thoughts – what if the panic never goes away? What if I can’t drive anymore? What if I can’t function anymore? Then it just vanishes and I am free and feeling I can do anything and everything again. And then the switch flips and it starts all over again.

I hope my dreams are indicative of how this all will end – that it will end. To anyone who suffers from generalized anxiety disorder, I FEEL YA!

 

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Two Dreams and a Message

I awoke yet again at 5am not very pleased that I was waking so early. I awoke hearing my guide again. This time I remember more of our conversation.

His first words to me were in response to a dream I had just had. “You are purging”.

Dream: Civil War

The dream was about being in the South during the Civil War. I was a woman who had stayed behind with other women of the family as well as some close neighbors. We were huddled inside a large, plantation-type house that was very elaborately decorated with a grand staircase and ornate wood trim in all the rooms. The war had been raging for some time and we had begun to run out of food. I had discovered some hidden in the back and had brought it to the front but was confronted by two men who followed me into the house pretending to be friendly. I knew their intent was bad and did not have a good feeling about them.

The men were wearing ragged clothing and had hungry looks in their eyes – hungry for food as well as lust hunger. The other women heard them and came down at this time.

One man saw two children and said, “You have children here?” and I became instantly worried for their safety. I thought the men intended to hurt them, specifically that they wanted to eat them. There was a horror reaction from me along with an knowing that this was not unheard of at this time in the war.

I then was not inside the body of the woman I had been and was observing. The woman said to the man, “I am sure you are tired. Why don’t you stay and rest?” When she said this, she raised up her petticoat to reveal her “knickers“. The men instantly turned and were mesmerized, their attention now on her.

Once distracted the men did not notice another woman coming around the back of them. I missed the specifics because I was focused on the woman with her knickers showing, marveling at the detail of them. They looked like tiny shorts with ruffles on the bottom and seemed very familiar to me.

The next thing I knew, a woman had surprised one of the men and he was on the floor with her on top of him. She pulled a rifled out of his pants and had it pointed at him.

That is where the dream ended.

Message Continues

Hearing my guide say I was purging, I immediately began to go through past lives I had remembered, looking for the Civil War era. I had not recalled one during the war and wondered if perhaps the dream was a recollection of a life during that time. With this thought came a feeling that this was correct, though the dream was likely a mixture of reality and symbolism.

Distracted, my guide went on:

“You have not begun reading the book of Revelations”.

I thought to myself, “No. Not really interested”.

He continued. “It will help you understand”.

I am not really interested in reading about Armageddon but I wondered why he would suddenly bring this up after I had a dream of Civil War.

The thought/feeling that came to me then was that the purging was not just happening to me – others were also experiencing it and some would not handle it too well.

I began to think of the odd thoughts I’ve been having and the past times in which I had felt on the verge of insanity. I knew not everyone would be able to handle such thoughts/feelings/memories. As more and more people began to awaken, there would be more and more instances of instability – individual and group (countries, regions).

I shrugged off these feelings, believing they had come from a video I had viewed the day before about the “end days”. Surely I was just influenced by that?

I asked to return to sleep and to receive the answer to a question I had posed: Do I really have two more lives or do these “lives” refer to a new consciousness within this life?

The answer I received was, “You already know the answer”. And I understood that I did. Two more lives then.

Burundi Bear

I fell asleep (surprise!) and had a strangely vivid dream.

I was at a river with my middle son. We were on a fishing trip. The river reminded me of one I use to frequent as a child.

Once we found a spot from which to fish, I began baiting the hook. The rod was a plain one without a reel and I only had a single length of string. I vividly recall sticking the hook into a minnow’s head and out through its mouth and then casting it several times. One time I cast it, I saw the minnow swimming near a large bass, but the fish did not strike.

I threw out the line and it went out farther than expected. It instantly pulled and I knew I had something large on it. I pulled it in, wrapping line around my wrist. I saw something orange and suspected I had snagged a carp. I told my son this and felt somewhat afraid that it was too big for me to handle.

When I finally pulled it in, it landed on some rocks. I was surprised to find that I had snagged a small bear. I ran up to it, feeling sympathetic to it. I had to free it. The hook was in its chest and it let me pull it out. I saw very clearly its little face and tiny, pointed teeth. It looked like a teddy bear but was distinctly real with orange and brown markings and a masked face. I thought, “It’s just a baby”.

I gathered it in my arms and tried to find it’s mother but it had gotten too dark. I remember calling it a “Burundi”. This is when I woke up.

When I awoke I wondered about the bear and looked it up. Turns out, Burundi is a country and the “bear” is actually a Red Panda.

I am still unsure why the name Burundi was so vivid and why I saw the Red Panda. Burundi is in chaos currently and the Red Panda is near extinction. Was this a message regarding the state of the world? I have no clue.

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Dream: The Bear Awakens

After yesterday’s intense K experience, last night was a walk in the park. I slept especially well and awoke feeling hopeful and positive, as if I had received good news.

Dream: The Bear Awakens

One dream in particular was indicative of the news I received. In it, I was made aware that a black bear was wandering around. I went and retrieved it and took it to an area that resembled my mother’s back yard in that there was a huge swimming pool. However, this pool resembled a small pond and had rock ledges and streams built into it.

It was still dark outside and the sky was dotted with stars and so clear that it almost appeared to ripple like the water of the pool. The pool’s water reflected the darkness of the sky so well that if one were to look at the pool and the sky simultaneously they would have appeared to be one in the same.

I took the bear to the pool and let him loose. I watched as he frolicked and jumped about. He had such energy! He stumbled into the water and then out, not sure what he had just fallen into. Then he dove into the pool and swam. I remember feeling so pleased watching him express his intense happiness.

There was a time when I was watching him in the water that I swear his furry leg took on the shape of a woman’s leg. It was like the water transformed him at that moment. Yet when I looked again, the leg was gone and it was only the bear who seemed very much like a pet dog more than a bear.

Dream: 26

Another dream that is very vivid is one in which I was at a college milling around with a bunch of college students. When I first walked in, I was speaking with a woman whose face I never saw. She was remarking at how clear my skin had become and how beautiful I looked. Her exact words were, “You look brilliant”. I remember feeling self-conscious, worrying that I had acne all over my face. Yet when I passed by a mirror I saw that indeed my face was clear but it had a dark, almost orange-red colored shadow over it. I decided this was acceptable.

I was aware at this time that I was at “registration” yet I was not registering. Instead I seemed to be there as a mentor to others who were registering for school. I no longer heard the woman’s voice but now was talking to two young girls. We were specifically talking about years in which we had been born and our ages in comparison to one another. The young girls said they were born in 1996 and I recognized they were 20 years younger than me. I ended up deciding they were 26 years old and this number kept being repeated.

One of the girls asked me about my life and I explained that I was married and had three children. She remarked at how brave I was to have done this and I paused as I considered what she said. She said that she could not imagine ever having children and I remember clearly that I walked up to her and said, “It will be the best thing you ever do. Only through your children will you truly know your heart”. When I said it, I put my hand to her heart and I felt how true my words were for me in my own life. I would not be the person I am today had I not had them to show me who I really am.

Considerations

Both of these dreams were very memorable and vivid and left me with a feeling of accomplishment and pride. I feel very calm and accepting today of life in general which is very much in contrast to how I have been feeling for a while now.

I believe the bear dream is connected to a message I received not long ago about hibernating – Bear, John. In this present dream the bear is no longer sleeping but has awakened and is refreshed and full of energy. The period of rest and rejuvenation is over and it is time to be awake, aware and moving forward again.

The dream about college is also very positive in that it brings with it the message of the number 26. This number is all about attaining fame and/or material reward. In other words, that which you have been working toward in the material world is now about to manifest in positive ways.