Tag Archives: blogging

by

GAPS – Day 3

Just a quick look at yesterday. I will likely not post much more on the diet from now on since my family is settling into it pretty well now.

My daughter had her first tantrum over what she could eat. She came home from school and wanted Raisin Bran as a snack. My mother-in-law told her no and she commenced to her yelling, kicking, and “dying” routine. So mother-in-law called my husband who gave her permission to eat it (boo on him!). I came home just after, oblivious to the drama and saw her sitting with her new bowl of cereal. I immediately told her no and then I got the tantrum. I stuck firm and we went for a walk. Cereal forgotten and replaced with mother-daughter time. Score!

My son is doing much better. He still hates his probiotic and the cod liver oil (who could blame him?) but he is eating better and much happier. My mother-in-law watched him yesterday and all I got from her is, “I hate this diet. There are no snacks for the children”. When I explained there were snacks just not the kind they were use to and that they would get over it, she said, “Well get rid of all of it then so they can’t see it”. I explained that not all of it would be forever excluded from our diet. Why waste good food? We didn’t eat bad before. Mainly I just need to toss the Goldfish, sweets and cereal bars. I told her I would.

I made Fish Soup last night – a first ever for me. I thought “Nasty” when I heard the name but all the websites online said it is a big winner for families with kids. So I made it. This was the recipe I used:

Fish Soup – total time to prepare and cook was approximately 40 minutes

  • 6 cups chicken stock (homemade)
  • Several baby carrots cut up
  • Two stalks of celery, chopped
  • Three sprigs of fresh parsley, chopped
  • 1 white onion
  • 2 cloves of garlic, chopped
  • 1 small bok choy, chopped
  • 1 cluster of broccoli florets
  • 2 Swai filets, thawed
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Lemon if desired

Put all ingredients except the broccoli and Swai in a large pot. Bring to a boil and then turn down the heat and allow to simmer until carrots are tender. Add broccoli. Allow broccoli to cook until bright green (maybe 2 minutes). Add Swai whole to the pot. When the fish turns opaque and flakes then it is done (approximate 2-3 minutes).

Serve with lemon and more parsley if this suits your tastes.

This recipe was a huge hit. My husband said it was his favorite meal of the week (wow). My daughter didn’t like it much but she had a tummy ache during dinner.

Positive Change

As a family we have eaten a much greater variety of meats and veggies than is normal for the week and the week isn’t even done! In four days we have eaten – chicken, ground beef, ground lamb, bone broth, and fish. The fruits and veggies we have eaten is triple what we normally eat. We have eaten a dozen apples, 8 bananas, 4 pears, blue berries, bok choy, broccoli, kale, onion, garlic, parsley, carrots, celery, spinach, cucumber, beets, lemon, and ginger. I still have brussel sprouts and peppers I have not used yet.

If you are thinking of trying this diet, I will say that you will need to grocery shop more than is your norm. I have already taken two trips to the grocery store and am considering a third (fruit is low again). Also, if you think you are making enough for your family, double it. I made an entire crockpot of chicken soup and it lasted two days. I made an entire crockpot of meatball soup and it lasted ONE day. The night I made boiled meat patties there was one patty out of 10 that survived for leftovers. The fish soup was gone after one meal with only a tiny portion left which my husband took for lunch today. I never thought I would have to cook so much! Ha!

It can be done, though, and is not too bad since most of the meals are pretty easy to prepare. I have three small kids and was able to do it and I work part-time. I know I could do this if I worked full-time, though the grocery shopping would have been harder.

Overall I think this diet is a great way to get your eating habits in order. It has been a great learning experience for my entire family and my children did not die from lack of carbohydrates and sugar.

by

New Shoes

Last night I slept much better than I have in quite a while mainly because I only woke up one time during the night rather than the three to five times that has been the norm for me. Interestingly enough I also recall a very vivid dream I had. I have not been having good dream recall at all.

Backpack and New Shoes

The first dream I recall started out in a shopping mall. I was with a woman friend but I don’t recall seeing her once in the dream, just hearing her. Someone showed me a backpack. It was unique in that it had ties for straps and they were see through and shimmery pink. I instantly thought of my daughter and wanted to see more so the woman showed me others. They were all very unique and different. Some in different shapes with varying straps and colors. I wanted to buy one.

I was taken into a shop and shown the racks of backpacks. I saw the price tag on one I liked. $150!! I was in shock. That was way too much in my opinion. I remarked such to the woman who said, “Everything in the store is 20% off”. I looked at the price tag of another bag and sure enough there was a red sale tag with $109 on it. I was still upset and said, “You just hiked up the prices!” I insinuated that they were price gouging and the woman said, “Everyone gets 30% off if they buy something today”. I was not interested.

I went to the other side of the store and browsed some clothes and shoes. A woman approached me with a pair of size 5.5 shoes. She asked, “Do you wear size 5.5?” I said, “I think they will fit me”. I sat down and she slipped a pair of flowered, feminine dress shoes on me. They were white with flowers on them. They fit me perfectly and I even showed her how I could lift my heel up easily. I was surprised because I do not wear such a small size. I then looked in the mirror and saw the shoes did not match my dress. I was wearing a nice, somewhat girlie white, flowered dress with a skirt that flared out and came to just below my knees. I told her, “I will need a pair of solid colored brown shoes for this dress”. I kept the shoes I had on, though.

girlyInterpretation

The fact that I am shopping in this dream indicates that I am considering my options in life. Backpacks also symbolize decisions but specifically ones that one feels weighed down by. They can also represent responsibilities that feel heavy or like a burden. When I am put off by the price of the backpack it likely symbolizes my own consideration that some option is too costly.

In general, shoes represent one’s approach to life. These shoes seem to indicate that I am open to a new approach, perhaps a more feminine one since the shoes are so petite and flowery. I am also wearing a dress which is feminine and flowery. I do not like to wear dresses in real life.

Library

In the next dream I went into a library to get a book. I was driving a very small car with only two seats. I believe it was red. I dropped it off inside the library waiting area and went to get a book. When I came out ready to leave, my car was gone. I worried over it and remember thinking that the car was not due to be returned yet, I had until the 21st. I paced for a while, worrying how I would get home. I called up my husband’s boss for a ride and she laughed and told me to just ask the front desk for my car back. I did and got the car back right away. Happy to get my car, I went to the restroom.

The restroom was off near the edge of the waiting room (which looked like a car showroom). The walls were gray and when I went into the space there were two people sitting behind a counter with a glass front staring at me like I did not belong there. When I went into the bathroom I saw in front of me black, metal cabinets containing row upon row of drawers that looked like they held video tapes or some similar kind of media. I felt out of place but spotted the toilet and did my business and left in a hurry.

I retrieved my car and left the library.

In Space

The next thing I remember is being with a group of fellow astral travelers. I recognized them and called them by name and there were a couple of names I remember even now. We were floating together in outer space just above the Earth. I was facing them with the Earth behind me. I can still see the glowing, multicolored globe of Earth shining behind me. It was huge and spectacular!

What is odd is that I was wearing some kind of breathing apparatus on my face. It was white and shaped like an oxygen mask and covered my nose and mouth.  It had a rubbery feeling to it which is still very real to me. Attached to the mask was this white tube that went down and disappeared below me. I don’t know what it was attached to but it seemed to flow and move about with me as I moved.

My fellow astral travelers and I were discussing something. I don’t know everything that we said, but they seemed to be trying to teach me something. While we were talking, a song was going through my mind. It was Riptide by Vance Joy, the part where he says, “I just wanna, I just wanna know. If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay”.

I recall that my mask fell off while I was talking to them and I became worried that I would suffocate. I began to frantically try to grasp for my mask in desperation. I watched as the white mask floated down below me. What is weird is that just the mask fell, the white tube seemed to stay.

The man in front said to me, “You can breathe. We are dreaming remember?” I heard him say this and nodded, relieved because I knew we were all OOB and would be okay. A part of me then recognized the white tube was a part of me. I am surprised that this did not cause me to awaken within my dream. Instead, it just woke me up.

Interpretation and Considerations

The library in my first dream represents the search for knowledge. I am likely looking for answers. Cars represent life stages or paths. In this case, my car is parked so I am thinking of putting my attention somewhere else. The fact that the car is then taken from me, or checked back into the library, indicates that a part of my identity is being let go of. Since I want the car back, it could be that I am changing my mind about a decision I made.

The bathroom represents feelings or burdens that need to be relieved or released. The fact that I saw cabinets suggests that I have much hidden within me that needs relieving.

Overall I feel this dream is about me deciding whether or not I want to invest more time and energy into my life. That is the feeling that comes with it and follows into the next dream where I am in space. The overall message is that I need to decide if I want to stay in this life or leave it. The song is a direct question put forth to me. I believe the white tube is symbolic of the silver cord that connects the astral body to the physical body. The oxygen mask suggests that I am feeling stifled and unable to handle the burdens of life, in effect suffocating and unable to express my feelings or find relief.

These dreams go along well with the feelings I have been having lately.

by

GAPS – Day 2

Day three of the GAPS diet. Day two was interesting.

Yesterday morning I spent almost two hours at the park with my kids. I took a large pear with me to snack on and plenty of lemon water. While at the park I usually do body weight exercises or use my baby as my weight in order to get my workout in. I do lunges, squats, push-ups, etc. I decided I had enough energy to do my workout and so did it slowly just in case I got weak during it and made sure to eat the pear midway through. Unfortunately, I ended up feeling very faint and was hit with low blood sugar on the walk home. I think my son was as well because he kept complaining of being tired. My headache was also full force by this time and I gulp down an early lunch as soon as I got home. I then caved and took an Ibuprofen.

So it looks like the reasons for my feeling “off” and having the headache was very low blood sugar caused by the sudden decrease in carbohydrates from doing the diet. I recalled that when I did the Atkins diet years ago (2001 I think) that I got very sickly feeling and had really low energy. This lasted beyond the normal period it takes the body to adjust so I stopped eating so few carbs and instantly felt better. Remembering the lesson I learned then, I decided to eat more small meals and doubled my intake of honey. By the evening I decided to make more coconut pancakes to make sure I had an available supply the next day at work.

As a result I feel hugely better and my husband remarked that he did as well. I also noticed that this morning the dryness on my face is remarkably less. There is still some flaking in some places but no more redness or tight feeling. I slept amazingly last night, too. I only woke up once as did my son and husband (baby duty you know).

GAPS Day 2 Menu

Breakfast (with snack):

  • Me: 1/2 Coconut waffle with honey, 3/4 cup Greek yogurt with blueberries, chicken broth, coffee, pear, peanut butter with honey
  • Son: 1/2 coconut waffle with honey, pear, peanut butter with honey
  • Husband and daughter ate before I woke up.

Lunch (with snack):

  • Me: Chicken soup, chicken broth, peanut butter with honey, gluten free crackers
  • Son: Large carrot, peanut butter with honey, 3-4 pieces of chicken from my soup (he wouldn’t eat the broth or veggies)

Dinner:

  • Everyone: Cauliflower and meatball soup (yum!) with gluten free toast and chicken broth. Son slept through dinner (sick still) and did not eat anything except some juice.

Dessert:

  • Coconut pancakes with honey
  • Freshly juiced juice made of kale, spinach, parsley, oranges and apples

As you can see, I did not eat nearly enough and neither did my poor son who was likely starving because he refused to eat so much. I added some gluten-free store bought bread and rice crackers to get through the day because I really do not feel well without the carbs and instantly felt better once I ate them. Honey just does not cut it!

My son finally pooped – three times in fact! lol I am hoping today while he is with my mother-in-law that he will eat more now that he has the option to eat gluten free bread and crackers. He hates the new peanut butter we got and was refusing that yesterday and he loves peanut butter! But since we are eating eggs now I have a feeling he will eat more. He loves eggs.

My daughter is doing really well on the diet. She is excited every day about what she will get to take to school in her lunch. Today she begged for the meatball soup in her lunch, so she got it with half a gluten free sandwich, applesauce and peanut butter. For breakfast she ate all her scrambled eggs (this is not usual!) and was in good spirits, all bubbly and even saying, “I love you mommy!” on her way out the door to the bus. The only time she has been grumpy was when had after school snack and could not eat her goldfish. She opted for pistachios instead.

My husband must have been feeling good yesterday because after he came home and ate lunch he decided to run the 6 miles back to work! I warned him of the exhaustion that might hit him because of the lack of carbs and he thought he would be fine. Later, he told me he did feel wiped out when he got back to work. He is tough! I would have fainted. lol

Overall, I am happy that things are better now and do not feel as overwhelmed by the diet with the few additions that I made. I intend to still limit the gluten free things I added in except for when I feel the low blood sugar symptoms threatening. I do not miss sugar! 🙂

by

GAPS

Day two of the GAPS diet. My husband came down with a chest cold yesterday, day 1, and my two sons both have it, too. The first day I took the probiotic (I am on day 3 of that) I got horrible stomach cramps which passed after about ten minutes. Thankfully I have not gotten the chest cold as it sounds horrible.

Physically I felt very achy the second half of the day yesterday. Even though I had not done much physical activity, I felt as if I had been walking all day. My lower back ached as did my left leg and leg joints. I got a headache around 8pm and it haunted me all night. Every time I would wake up, which I did about five times total, the headache would be intense, especially at the base of my skull and the top of my forehead. Even as I type this my headache still remains.

My daughter has been really into the diet, which is surprising. She is very good about taking her supplements and probiotics and drinking her broth with her meals. She was so excited that one of the first things she said when she got home was that she had to go poop as soon as she got to school yesterday. Gotta laugh at that one. lol

My middle son is not so excited. The first morning he took his supplements without incident but all day he was very picky about what he ate. My mother-in-law said he did not go poop all day. Sigh. This morning he has been an irritable mess, refusing to take his supplements and throwing a fit about drinking the broth. He did eat some breakfast, but only because I went ahead and made some coconut flour waffles to entice him. We really were not suppose to eat that until later but my whole family love eggs and since the eggs are added in the next stage I just went ahead and moved us to that stage rather than fight my children (and my stomach).

My baby is teething like crazy and also has the chest cold so he has been irritable as well. I have not really done anything with his diet, he is really so young that nothing much has changed. He does like the broth quite a bit, though.

GAPS Day 1 Menu

To give you an idea of what we are eating, here is what we ate yesterday:

Breakfast:

Everyone has 1 8oz glass of room temperature water or mineral water with 1tsp apple cider vinegar in it before eating anything. We take our multivitamin, cod liver oil, and probiotic with this water.

  • Me: coffee with honey no cream, chicken broth, chicken soup, one drink kefir (yuck!)
  • Husband: tea, pear, kefir, chicken broth
  • Kids: apple sauce, kefir, pear, chicken broth (middle son refused his)

Lunch (including snacks):

  • Me: chicken soup, chicken broth, celery with organic peanut butter, pistachios, lemon water, kefir (yuck!)
  • Husband: chicken soup, chicken broth, apple, peanut butter
  • Kids: chicken soup, chicken broth, apple, yogurt with honey, apple sauce, almond butter and honey

Dinner:

  • Boiled lamb/beef patties (these are yummy!) with zucchini squash, sour cream, beef broth

None of the kids resisted this meal and we all had seconds except for my son. The patties had fresh spinach, onion and garlic in them and tasted like mini-meatloaves. I let the kids have ketchup on them (bad mommy) but my husband and I had lactose-free sour cream on ours.

Dessert:

  • Coconut flour waffles with honey
  • Freshly juiced carrot/apple/ginger juice

What Do I Think of GAPS?

Honestly, I am not liking the diet. Even though we already ate very well, we were not a gluten-free family and do not intend to be after this is over. Also, Kefir is my nemesis. I think it tastes like eating rotten socks. Thankfully, yogurt is not out of the picture and I love yogurt. Store bought milk is a no-no so we bought raw goat milk, which I also hate but the rest of my family likes.  I do not like breakfast right now and cannot wait to include more normal breakfast foods. I also do not like boiling everything I eat. It just isn’t as good to me as pan frying or roasting. Thankfully that will not last long either.

In order to have what is on the list of acceptable foods I am going to have to cook in advance quite a bit. Today I am going to spend most of my day making muffins, pancakes, fritters and cauliflower meatball soup so that we have food for the rest of the week. I will have to go to the grocery store because I underestimated how much meat my family would eat. We ate 2lbs of ground lamb and beef last night alone! We also have eaten 8 apples and four bananas in two days. Ahhh!

I also don’t know if the diet is helping me or not. I know I need to give it more time, it has only been a couple of days, but I thought I would feel at least some change. Honestly, though, I mostly want my children to get use to not having refined sugars and I know this diet will do the trick.

Spiritually

Kinda off topic for this post but I wanted to update what is going on with me spiritually. Nothing! Well, not really, as there is always something going on it is just not always noticeable. I am sleeping lighter than I was but still very deeply. I wake frequently and my dreams are a little more memorable but nothing interesting enough to talk about. Yesterday I was in high spirits on the way to work despite the tummy troubles I had from the mineral water and probiotic I took. I had Reiki and healing on my mind all day and thought that I should visit a nursing home and give healing to the elderly people there. So I researched the possibility and found complications that made me second-guess my initial idea. I think the idea came from me wondering what to do during this spiritual lull and so that popped into my head.

In my research I found that certification was key to working at any health institution. Reiki was rarely the only healing modality one was certified in. Usually the individual was also a certified massage therapist or naturopath or something else. So I looked up some of the certifications these people had. Holistic Healer Certification (HHC) was the most common behind massage therapist and naturopath. What I realized from my internet search is that there are many schools out there offering certification in this or that spiritual healing modality but very few are accredited and I did not find any recognized by the federal government. Some charge hundreds of dollars for degrees and/or certifications while others charge thousands. Some have in-depth study while others do not. How is anyone to be taken seriously in holistic health without a common curriculum and nation-wide accreditation?

It is clear to me that in order for holistic healthcare to be taken seriously these issues must be resolved.

by

What to Do?

Another night without an OBE or lucid dream. Another day feeling lacking because of it. I really miss my OBEs. I don’t understand completely why they are being denied to me right now. I sleep so deeply at night that even if I were to get OOB I likely would pop back into it very quickly for lack of energy. It is such a bummer!

I am told that I should not go OOB for two reasons:

1. I was told, “You will leave”. I later asked for further explanation of this and got the feeling that I would somehow find a way not to return to my body. This seems absurd to me because in all my OBEs I have always desired to stay out and never return, yet my body always seems to suck me back in whether I want to return to it or not. Therefore it seems very unlikely that I would successfully “leave”. Yet that is what I am being told. It is possible that I am misunderstanding and that “leave” may mean something else. But what?

2. I was also told now is the time for me to “focus on life” in order to maintain “balance between the physical and spiritual”. I understand this as well but I am so not interested in my life. l would rather seek out all that remains unexplored of the astral and the spiritual. It seems that I just recently returned to the spiritual path only to find a huge “Dead End” sign posted in front of me.

On a side note: This reminds me of a dream I had not long ago after I asked about a certain path. I saw the dead end sign in it and assumed it meant that path was a dead end. Now I am wondering – perhaps the sign was telling me that the spiritual path was the dead end?

What to Do?

Without my spiritual excursions and experiences I spend my days feeling without purpose. I don’t have much going on in my mind except typical mundane activities – what to eat for dinner, what chores need doing, etc. My mind is totally and utterly bored. In the past I fixed this by returning to school, but even then I found that my mind was not satisfied or challenged. I need that mental stimulation and challenge! The spiritual has always provided me with the never-ending questions that arise with each new experience and breakthrough. It never gets boring! I am not a fun person to be around when I am bored.

So what do I do? Typically, I seek out something to fill my time and my thoughts. I have already contemplated returning to school to complete my LPC but my heart just isn’t in it. I have thought of returning to the gym to continue my weight lifting and health kick, but I get a firm “No” from within. I have considered promoting my DoTERRA business, but feel this is not the right time for that either. The only thing that seems to come with a “yes” is doing the GAPS diet, but I am not excited about it.

The first stage of the GAPS diet limits the foods one can eat to only boiled or stewed meats and veggies, fruits and nuts, homemade yogurt and kefir, and coffee and/or tea. There are no grains of any kind allowed and absolutely no starchy foods or vegetables. The first stage only lasts a week but I am already second guessing it because my children will likely strongly resist and my husband, though he says he will do it, is so easily enticed by carbohydrates and cheeses.

Every day one is suppose to drink a glass of lukewarm water with a pro-biotic in the morning before eating. Then, they are suppose to eat every meal with a glass of beef, chicken or fish broth (homemade). This stage is the most important because it replaces the bad gut flora with good gut flora and heals the lining of the stomach. It also was developed so that those with food allergies or other major issues (autism, digestive problems, IBS, ulcerate colitis, etc) can heal gradually and with the least upset to their fragile system. The author warns that some may end up with stomach-flu-like symptoms after a day or two on the diet but that this is a byproduct of the toxins being released.

As a short-term solution, I have very few concerns about the diet. However, I cannot see myself on this diet for the long-term because of the amount of work that goes into it and the resistance my family will give me. We love our carbs and dairy! None of the stages of the diet allows simple carbs, wheat or gluten and the author makes it very clear that all dairy should be “raw” and if not then fermented. My beloved oatmeal would be completely out of the question as would all store bought dairy products. I am all for eliminating processed foods but I do not feel I need to eliminate dairy, wheat, gluten or other grains from my diet.

I have decided not to make my own yogurt, kefir or fermented veggies such as sour kraut. Not only do I not have the time but I gag just thinking about leaving milk or veggies to sour on the counter. Ick! And I despise cottage cheese for that reason. Ha! I do not feel this will “ruin” the diet for me, thankfully. I bought some kefir yesterday and do not look forward to drinking it. It is an acquired taste for sure!

What Else to Do?

Following the diet will keep me somewhat busy, but then again it is not very mentally challenging. I do not know what I will do with myself otherwise. I am very irritated at this “ascension” process, or whatever it is, as it seems like I am being asked to “do nothing” with myself and like it! Actually, it is more like I am being given the option to do whatever I choose, but the only thing I want to do is focus on the spiritual and going OOB, but I can’t do that now, can I? I am still doing yoga almost daily and I meditate at night but I am falling asleep when I do it! I really have no desire to do much else. Really lame, I know.

For my own sanity I need to find something to keep me mentally challenged and “winning” or I will fall into hopelessness and despair. I wish it were easy for me to “just be”.

by

Unexpected Allergic Reaction

I am beyond freaked out about what happened to me today. While visiting my mother I decided to eat an afternoon snack with her and my children. She was making peanut butter and honey sandwiches but I was browsing through her cabinet and decided to eat some golden raisins because I was extremely hungry and didn’t want to wait. I ate a small handful and then sat down to eat some peanut butter and honey sandwiches. While I was eating my left ear began to burn. I get this reaction when I take niacin so I ignored it and kept eating. However, my entire face began to feel hot as well and it spread to my left ear. Eventually, I became so uncomfortable that I went to the mirror to see what was going on. My face was beet red and covered in tiny bumps. Across my cheeks the dots were red while my face remained a normal color but my forehead was completely red! I didn’t feel right, either, and this really worried me. Upon further inspection my chest and arms were also covered in tiny red bumps. Ahh!

I put some Cortisone on my face and then took some Benadryl to try and get the reaction to stop and my mind buzzed with questions. What did I eat that caused this? The raisins? The peanut butter? The honey? Bread?

I began to feel really weird around this time and I asked my husband to get the kids together so we could leave. The entire drive home I felt off and worried but my face began to calm down halfway home and by the time I got home the redness and rash were gone.

Completely Weird

I don’ t have allergies. The only other time I’ve had a reaction similar to this was as a child when I had a reaction to high chlorine levels in the pool. That time it was horribly itchy and all over my body. This did not itch and seemed only to be associated with my upper body. My ears burned and my face and neck felt hot. The odd feeling is not easy to describe. The closest thing I can compare it to is feeling slightly ill, like right before coming down with the flu. I once had a similar sick feeling after eating a huge number of cashews (like four handfuls or something – way too much) but there were no other symptoms.

I am still not sure what caused it. I am thinking the raisins. I eat raisins all the time, though, even white raisins. My mom said it might be the sulfates in them, and she could be right, but that would be a first for me, too. I just don’t know and I guess perhaps it is one of those things my guide was warning me about. I am worried about eating peanut butter now, too and I LOVE peanut butter.

Ascension and Body Changes

I have read online that many experience strange changes in appetite, food preference, allergies and sensitivities when they are going through the ascension process. When my guide asked me to pay attention to my body because it was going to show me where the changes were taking place, I was told to expect something to happen with my face. I assumed the warning was for more dry, irritated skin, not an allergic reaction!

I looked up what chakras skin rashes and allergies are associated to. The skin is controlled by the crown chakra and allergies are associated with the third chakra (digestion) and/or the fourth chakra (immunity). I found this information here.

In my research on golden raisins (I’m almost 100% sure it was the raisins that caused the reaction), I discovered that dried fruits such as raisins often have mold on them which can cause allergic reactions. The non-organic ones contain sulfates which are also a common allergen. Since I usually buy organic raisins for my kids and had some recently without any reaction, I suspect the perpetrator here is the sulfates. Again, I hope its not the peanut butter because I would seriously cry if I couldn’t have peanut butter.

I really hope I don’t run into anymore allergies. The sudden rash and weird feeling are very scary.

by

The Next Level

Last night I had yet another intense dream. This one was very obviously a message about the next level my guides warned me about. Now that my chakras have been “reset”, the kundalini is rising again.

Graduation and Marriage

I found myself within a semi-lucid dream in the midst of preparing for my graduation ceremony. I was arriving along with my classmates who I recognized to be my classmates from my actual high school graduation class. I remember not quite feeling things were right and I suspect this is because I was nearing that moment when one becomes completely aware they are dreaming. Unfortunately, I never made it to that level and remained mostly unaware that I was dreaming throughout the dream.

I sat through the ceremony, watching a classmate I did not recognize brought up to the podium. She was much older than a high school student should be. In fact, she was very mature, likely in her 50s, with short, graying, brown hair. On a screen played moments from her life. She must have been a veterinarian, either that or an animal lover, because the screen showed moments in her life that mostly involved her taking care of animals of all kinds. She was quite beautiful when she was younger and I remember thinking she was a great actress.

When the video completed the ceremony continued but I do not recall most of it as I was distracted by a woman who came in wearing a dress that was white on top and black on the bottom. The other students were mostly wearing all black evening dresses but this woman was not. Her dress was quite elaborate with a huge, white bow taking up the entire bodice. I recall thinking she was quite brave to wear something so out of the ordinary. Amidst this I was considering my own attire but never saw what I myself was wearing.

Then dream then shifted to me fiddling with my cell phone amidst waiting to go home from the ceremony. I remember thinking about going to college and the city of Dallas was on my mind for some reason. I was looking through my phone for an old lover, trying to find text messages that we shared. I managed to find some old pictures taken with my camera as well as our text messages and considered the possibility of contacting this man to resume our affair. I was completely set on doing this despite being married and was trying to figure out how to keep the affair a secret. I recall worrying that my husband would find the messages on my phone and so I was also thinking of deleting them.

At some point, I lost interest in finding the old messages because they disappeared and I assumed them lost. I remember interacting with some old classmates and being presented with a hand-made quilt. After receiving the gift, my friend pulled a small box out of her pocket and told me to open it, that it was from my husband. I opened the tiny box and found a stunningly beautiful diamond and platinum wedding ring with the biggest marquis cut diamond I had ever seen. I recall feeling overwhelmed and astonished at the sight of it, believing my husband would never buy me something so expensive and at the same time completely enthused that he did. I looked up at the friend who gave it to me and she had changed to another woman, this one with long blonde hair and blue eyes who appeared to be in her 30s. She smiled and told me that we would be renewing our wedding vows at our upcoming wedding.

Upon receiving the ring and the message I felt a strong energy begin to build in my root chakra and expand outward. In the dream this was not yet recognizable on the physical level and so felt much like my dream body was expanding outward very rapidly. The energy pulsated and filled me with an intense sexual urge and I eagerly focused upon it, urging it to expand upward. As I did this I excitedly told the woman with me that I wanted this very badly to happen; that I needed it to happen. I began to focus on the feeling and this only fed the intense energy that was building within me. The energy began to move up and expand out so intensely that it woke me up.

ksiring2The Next Level: Kundalini Rising #2

As I woke, I was still conversing with the woman but soon recognized it was not a woman at all but the same guide who I have had with me throughout this life. The energy continued to expand in my root chakra and as it rose it intensified and all I could think was, “This is the sexual energy I have heard others describe when they talk about kundalini. It is happening to me!” I was thoroughly excited because I have had this kind of energy rise in me before and the result was a spiritual whole-body orgasmic experience that is indescribable.

With that thought I began to encourage the movement of the energy upward. When it hit my second chakra and began to move through it, I felt a twinge from deep within me and heard my guide say, “Slow down, it will be painful if you push it”. I stopped and listened. He said, “You carry much pain in this area. You have been sexually traumatized in many of your lives”. I vaguely saw play out in front of me a life of sexual abuse that I have yet to remember. It was distant as if not my own life, but I suspect it is one of many similar lives I have lived. I then heard again about the life where I spent 15 years struggling to survive and I suspect part of the survival included prostitution. I know that such lives exist because I have touched on them in my past life recollections. In one I gave myself an abortion and knew the pregnancy was the result of prostituting myself. I only recall the actual failed attempt, not the life.

I continued to try to move the energy up but whenever it came near to exiting the second chakra, I was filled with a very odd sensation and so stopped. My guide told me to take my time. I then saw in my mind a flash of my dream where I received the wedding ring and heard, “The merging continues”. I recognized then the symbolic meaning of my dream and its message to me that I had graduated and was now to “marry” myself.

The energy still lingered throughout my communication with my guide and I finally became exasperated. If you have ever had sexual energy build up but then never complete to climax then you will understand my frustration! I thought about waking my husband but then the idea of it actually stopped the energy completely. This confused me. I was told that the energy I was feeling, this kundalini, though very similar to sexual energy in the way the body interprets it, is not at all the same. “It is very important not to confuse the two”, he told me. Bummer! lol

He then said to me again, “Pay attention to your body”. I did not understand why I was getting this message again. “Why?”, I asked. “It will tell you how you are changing” and then he reminded me of my vision and how it had blurred suddenly in my left eye. Upon a visit to the eye doctor I was told my vision had improved. “So the changes will not be painful or bad?” and he said, “Not painful, but uncomfortable at times”. Then I imagined the sexual-like energy hitting me in the middle of the day and realized how very “uncomfortable” that would be! I can’t imagine that I would get anything done if distracted like that.

I could not return to sleep after all of this. Even now all I can think about is the energy I felt. I told my guide that I would not mind more of that! I look forward to it, actually.

by

Quick Update

Yesterday was the 21st. In case you don’t recall, I had a very vivid and emotional dream on the 3rd of January that my mother died of a sudden heart attack. I was given the 21st as the date and assumed it was of this month. I told my mom because I knew she wouldn’t overreact and then called her yesterday to make sure all was well. She was fine. 🙂 She did, however, spend the beginning of the week with her lawyer editing her will and making sure that IF something were to happen, everything would be in order. So, if the reason for my dream was to get my mother to sort out all her things, then it worked!

I hate to think the 21st is of some other month. That day will be at the back of my mind until we reach July, which is the month I was told in the dream. I suspect that the dream was just to help my Mom take action but I can’t help but worry that it may mean otherwise. It was just too vivid and emotional of a dream to not notice.

Symptom Update

I don’t have much to report in the way of spiritual experiences and kundalini/ascension symptoms. It seems that the quiet period I have been in continues despite my asking for at least some kind of recreational OBE, lucid dream or other spiritual phenomenon.

Current symptoms that I have or have noticed periodically include:

  • Feeling very balanced and/or calm for long periods of time
  • Headache
  • Tiredness/deep sleep
  • Frequent waking during the night
  • Tingling in root chakra
  • Buzzing in root and third eye chakra
  • Painful electrical sensation in lower body/legs (one night only)
  • Lower back pain (mostly upon waking)
  • Numbness/tingling in hands that wakes me up
  • Connecting psychically/spiritually to people without intention
  • Temperature fluctuations during sleep

Sleep Patterns

The most pronounced change I have experience has been in my sleep patterns. I seem to have good energy during the day but as soon as I get into bed my eyes get heavy and I yawn as if exhausted. I have been meditating before bed and every time I do I fall asleep very quickly – as soon as I start to meditate! Then I wake up suddenly three to five times during the night. I usually feel overly hot or cold when I wake and then I have to use the restroom. I always think I won’t be able to return to sleep because I wake up very rested and alert, but then I always fall instantly back to sleep.

Dreams

My dreams are also very vivid and frequent. Some I remember, some I do not, but when they are occurring I am very engrossed in them and feel their impact upon waking. I had one recently where I was buying a new house with my husband and we found a forgotten part of it in the back that wash huge and in disarray. I was very into this dream and had much excitement about the prospect of renovating the new found space. It was odd because one room was full of small refrigerators and I was going to get rid of them! Then last night I dreamed our refrigerator was damaged. So interesting that I keep dreaming of fridges. The symbolism is not lost to me either since refrigerators represent one’s tendency to be emotionally cold or distant. In both dreams there was something wrong with the refrigerators which causes me to suspect I am working on eliminating the cold aspects of my personality.

Spiritual Guides

There has also been a shift change when it comes to my guides. I say shift change because it feels like they work with me in shifts similar to what nurses do in hospitals. The most recent guide I have met calls himself “George” and showed me a visual of himself that was quite detailed. He had very orange-red hair and medium colored skin with freckles, not the pale skin one would expect of a red head. What was strange, though, was that his eyes were so pale blue they almost appeared to be glowing white. He told me he was helping me as a healing guide and was the one who told me about my chakras all being reset. His voice is very quiet compared to the other guides I have had speak to me, almost airy sounding. He also told me his time with me would be very brief. For all I know he is already gone and a new guide will soon introduce him/herself.

I find it curious just how many guides have been around me since December. I am use to my typical team of 4 but I have run into quite a few more than that in my dreams, astral travels and visions. I do not recall ever having so many previously unknown (to me consciously at least) guides and I wonder if this happens with everyone whose energy is transitioning.

Future Plans

I have been told that the chakra reset that I just went through will result in some changes. I was not told specifically what they would be except to expect more kundalini energy fluctuations. I suspect the painful electrical sensation in my legs was the first of this type of energy. The energy modifications appear to be moving from my feet up, but it is hard to tell because right now I sleep very deeply through most of it. Perhaps I should thank my guides for this deep sleep if it is keeping me from feeling pain. I really prefer to sleep through the painful parts!

I do not know for sure how long this lull is going to last, but I prefer the deep sleep to having insomnia. The one night I had trouble sleeping reminded me of the two years of insomnia I suffered through and I hate to think I will ever have to experience that again. I was told that the end of this month would be the beginning of more kundalini energy changes, so I am awaiting them a bit apprehensively. Since it is so hard to know what is going to happen next – there seems to be no set patterns or sequence to kundalini – I will just pray that the experiences are positive. I would love me some more popcorn clouds and hynagogic imagery!

by

Transference

I couldn’t sleep last night. After all the nights of deep, restful sleep, last night it was near impossible for me to sleep well. I didn’t fall asleep until around midnight and then when I would sleep I was haunted by uncomfortable dreams all of which included my mom, sister and her husband.

Monkey Attack

The first dream I had was the most unsettling. In the dream I was at my mother’s house visiting and my sister and her husband were there. My cousin (sister’s husband) was throwing one of his tantrums. He likes to pout and gets this really negative energy that hangs around him like a shroud. No amount of communication can get through to him. My mom and sister were both trying to get through to him and he had resorted to yelling. I got involved a little but I actually taunted him more than I helped the situation. I do remember his main complaint was with his in-laws (my mom and her new husband) and I had responded to this by saying I had a great relationship with my ex-in-laws. He didn’t like hearing this.

Both my sister and cousin went into separate rooms. My cousin went to bed in one room and my sister got on the computer in the other. I was going to go in her room to get my things when I realized I did not have my contact lens case or my stuff to stay overnight. I spoke to my mom’s husband about it, saying I did not want to drive all the way home to get those things and would prefer to stay the night.

He joined my mom in bed while I got ready to sleep on the sofa. It was then that I heard a pounding, putter-putter, sound coming from the window. When I looked up I saw a large black and white tomcat trying to get in through the window. I yelled to my mom about it but she stayed in bed. I then saw it go to her bedroom window and try to get in as well.

The cat returned to the kitchen window where I first saw it and had in its paws a small nail file which it was using to try and cut through the screen. I yelled to my mom, “Mom the cat is trying to get in still!”. No reply from her.

The cat was able to get in somehow and so I went to get it to put it back outside. When I did it turned into a large, black monkey with a squished-in face and beady eyes. It lurched at me and grabbed onto my right hand biting down hard. I could feel the pain in the center of my hand and yelled to my sister to get a banana to try and lure it away. The monkey looked at me fiercely, intent on attack and I knew it would go after me if I tried anything. I stared at it, fear hitting me as I realized the pain was not going away and neither was the monkey. The skin on my legs began to raise up in gooseflesh and it felt like a thousands needles pushing into my skin. It hurt pretty bad and I could still feel the monkey’s teeth in my right hand.

Transference

I awoke and the pain was real. My hand was not hurting as bad as my entire lower body which was covered in painful goosebumps. I have never felt such a sensation! It literally felt like each hair that was standing on end was a needle poking into my skin. I rubbed my hand, hoping movement would stop the pain but it did not. My hand gradually began to feel better but the skin sensation would not stop. I thought to my guide, “Is this what you mean by discomfort???” I got no reply.

Eventually the prickly pain subsided and I tossed and turned for a while. I began to doze off but kept wondering about the dream and the weird pain that came with it. My guide was near and I felt him wrap me in his energy and when he did my legs got the same prickling pain in them as they did in and after the dream except this time the pain was from my shins down through my feet. As it intensified the pain began to slowly move down my legs and out of my feet until it was gone.

Afterward I kept getting really, really hot to where I had to throw the covers off of me. Then, after a while, I would get cold and have to snuggle up. This kept me from falling asleep.

catMore Dreams

I somehow fell back to sleep only to continue dreaming about my family. In every dream my sister and her husband were having a disagreement. He was sulking or verbally lashing out and she was quiet and distant. My mom was always nearby either listening in or keeping her distance while staying nearby for support.

The most memorable dream of this sort was of us traveling together in a white Prius. I was driving and we stopped somewhere for a while. I went inside and they stayed in the car. I was late returning and they were all grumpy. My mother, who usually is set against what my cousin wants because of his behavior, was actually supporting my cousin. This upset me and I decided to leave them behind in the car. Ultimately, though, they just all pretended to sleep and I drove everyone home.

The symbolism in my dreams along with the subjects involved causes me to believe that there is an issue that is on-going that may be coming to a head soon. My mother and I spoke about the possibility of such an issue during my last visit so I would not be surprised if something is going on that I will soon hear about.

The monkey attack is curious as is the pain transference from dream to reality. I have never had pain come back with me from a dream. As for the monkey, according to http://www.dreammoods.com, to dream you are attacked by a monkey indicates a conflict between one’s playful and serious sides or that one is unable to keep their animalistic desires under control.

Cats have been common in my dreams for some time. I am still not 100% sure what the cat represents as it has so many meanings within a dream. Since I do not like cats much I assume it means I am avoiding my feminine side in some way but it could also mean misfortune. The black and white could be symbolic of yin and yang and this pattern is often associated with the cats I see in my dreams. It is interesting that the cat turns into the monkey as well. Perhaps my denial of my feminine side is going to get out of control?

by

Symptom Update

Although I have already written today I wanted to update you all on the physical issues I mentioned in a post last week.

Vision Concerns

Early last week I noticed that the vision in my left eye suddenly had gotten blurrier. I suspected my contacts no longer fit and so figured I needed to go to the eye doctor since it had been nearly two years since my last visit. I went in on Saturday and got all the normal vision tests and this new picture of my retina that is now offered in place of dilation. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything as I was sure that my vision had gotten horribly worse and that I may have some kind of macular degeneration or something bad like that.

The doctor was very nice and somewhat chatty, which was okay. He told me what the computer said my prescription would be and it nearly matched my current prescription. When he tested it out using his machine (not sure what that huge thing is called) he told me that it appeared that my left eye vision had improved and that I needed a prescription .25 less than I had. He said that the headaches, dryness and blurry vision was likely caused by over-correction of my vision. Ha! And here I was thinking my eyes had gotten horribly worse. They got better!

I was sent home in a new pair of contact lenses that had the exact same prescription as my others because they did not have the new prescription I needed in stock. When your vision is over-corrected it is like squinting into the sun – just too bright, thus the headaches and eye fatigue. So in a week when my contacts come in I hope that my headaches get better.

Oh and it is no miracle that my eyes improved. The doctor said it is normal as one approaches their 40s for their near-sightedness to get better (sigh I’m getting old!). He says he sees many of his patient’s prescriptions completely change from near-sighted to wearing reading glasses! Since I got lasik back in 2000 there is a chance this could happen to me sooner rather than later. Perhaps it already is?

Circulation Concerns

Another issue I was worrying about was overly cold hands and feet along with aches in my legs and what appeared to be an increase in spider veins. Rather than go to a vein specialist and get tons of tests, I started taking niacinic acid (niacin) because my research said it helps with circulation. Niacinic acid is the kind of niacin that causes a flushing of the skin. This often comes with a prickling hot sensation. It actually looks like you have a sunburn and even feels similar. I had the flushing for the first couple of times but now I don’t get it anymore. I am taking 500mg in the morning and then again before bed. My feet are much warmer as a result! Yay!

Dry Skin

Something that has been a major issue since moving to the city in July has been overly dry and irritated skin. I first had major acne issues on my face. I got those under control with antibiotics twice only to have it come back with a vengeance afterward. I suspected the antibiotics were actually messing up my stomach, disrupting the normal balance in my system and so when I stopped taking it everything went out of whack making my issues worse. I swore not to go back on the antibiotics and I haven’t, but I have been struggling with dry skin everywhere ever since.

The last straw for me was getting eczema on my wrist. I don’t get eczema so I saw this as my body crying out for me to do something different. I researched eczema and came across Aalgo.com and their organic seaweed powder. I ordered some and used it on my face three days in a row and saw significant results. My eczema disappeared after two treatments! I still have not had time to take the bath yet but that will be next. If you are struggling with eczema, psoriasis or any other dry skin condition, I recommended Aalgo.

Diet Sensitivities

With all my physical concerns I finally followed a thought of mine that asked me to consider changing what I was putting into my body. Water was the first on the list. When I moved I left behind well water. Untreated and naturally mineralized, I have been drinking well water since my birth with rarely a time in my life when I was not. I suspected early on that the water I was drinking and using here in my new home was the cause of my skin issues. I began drinking 8.8 alkaline and mineralized water last week. So far I think it is helping. I intend to keep drinking filtered and alkaline water. I really think the treated stuff is damaging to me.

Besides water, I have begun to lose my appetite for certain foods and my intuition has been telling me to change what I eat for some time now. Lately I have been skipping eating when I am hungry because nothing looks good in my fridge or pantry. I stumbled across the GAPS diet online and ordered the book, Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride. I am still waiting for it to be delivered and I don’t know how much of the diet I will follow but I was drawn to the GAPS diet because of its focus on balancing gut flora. Something about the information I read on the page said to me, “Get the book and do this”.