Tag Archives: chakras

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Symptom Update: Restoring Balance

Once again I am updating my symptoms, this time because I was prompted by a message from my guide that balance needed to be restored.

Current Symptoms

  • Upper back ache
  • Stiff neck
  • Visual phenomenon (will explain)
  • Ear ringing, tones and other odd sounds
  • Buzzing energy around back of head, third eye and heart
  • Feeling spiritually disconnected
  • Restless sleep with vivid dreams
  • Lack of motivation

The most difficult part of my current symptoms is feeling a spiritual disconnection. I understand this is necessary and that much is occurring during my sleep, but it is an unsettling feeling and I find it hard to find my balanced center.

The visual phenomenon has been going on for some time. The only way I can describe it is as seeing things, usually people, superimposed upon this physical reality. For example, I was talking to my daughter yesterday and I swear I saw a baby where her arm should have been, but when I looked down there was nothing there. I recognized this other being as a baby, saw it clear as day nearly naked and full sized, yet it was not there when I focused on what I saw. Other examples are that I will see individuals standing next to or over a part of a person I am talking to as I am doing mundane things. Sometimes these visual phenomenon surprise me.  Once I saw a tall man and I instantly thought someone was in my house who should not be there. I am getting more use to it now so I am not quite so shocked. So far, none of them have tried to communicate with me.

The other odd change has been to the tonal ringing in my ears. I am pretty use to hearing the tones now. The sound typically gets louder as I begin to fall asleep at night. However, the other night the tone is my ears got so intensely loud and began to sound ominous, like a deep, rattling machine sound. I began to think, “If it gets any louder I don’t know if I can take it”. When I thought this, the tone began to fade out and sound more “normal”. I have only had that sound once but the ringing sound is changing during the day, too. It no longer sounds like a tone but more like a “shshsh” or hissing sound, like the static of a radio. I have heard the radio static sound before when I had my first awakening. I only heard it when in meditation or in the in-between, not during the day. So it coming during the day is a bit alarming to me. The changes in sound go hand-in-hand with the visual phenomenon which has me wondering if perhaps these beings are trying to communicate with me?

Finally, I am the complete opposite of motivated right now. I just want to lay down and stare at the ceiling or close my eyes. I spent the whole weekend in such a daze. I knew I had to get stuff done though and finally forced myself to go grocery shopping and cook dinner. Even at work I am struggling to do what needs to be done.

I am told that balance is being restored and I suspect that my lack of motivation and disconnection is part of this process. There are way worse symptoms I could have so I am grateful that I am sleeping through the worst of it.

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Dream: Temptation

Sometimes I have very emotional dreams. This morning I awoke to one such dream.

Temptation

Most of the details of the beginning of the dream are lost to me now, but I recall the most important details.

The dream consisted of me meeting this good looking, Hispanic man. He appeared younger than me and reminded me of someone but I cannot figure out who. We were in a house that I was not familiar with and he and I had just met. When I saw him I was hit with such a familiar pang of recognition in my heart that it took my breath away. I do not know if he had this same connection, but I think he did based upon the way the dream went.

I avoided him for some time, speaking to him briefly and engaging in only casual conversation. I made sure to keep my distance because being near him caused an overwhelming amount of desire and I was certain he would notice. Perhaps he did because he kept coming closer to me and would not allow me to go far.

Throughout this I was overcome with feelings of foreboding, continually thinking of how I was married, had children and would not do anything to cause them potential suffering. I felt as if I had been ripped in two every time I saw this young man who would not go away and who I did not really want to go away. It was an agonizing feeling!

Finally, I gave in and stopped dodging him. Just looking at him was painful and also amazingly wonderful. I don’t remember what he was saying to me but I ended up allowing him to kiss me. This was, of course, probably not a good idea as the kiss caused me to understand the intensely deep connection that existed between us.

I broke away from the kiss and began talking one hundred miles an hour about my husband and family and how I could not, would not, do anything that would put them at risk. I remember wishing I were single so badly that it hurt. My insides were in all kinds of knots with energy welling out of my first, second and third chakras.

Message from Azekiel

I awoke still feeling the agonizing split between what I wanted and what I felt was “right”. I could not figure out why I was once again having this type of dream! Then I remembered the brief OBE I had where I was allowed to witness an agreement being made between my Higher Self and some others. I remember that there was a man involved and that he was married. I also knew the agreement was that he and I would meet. I remember I felt sorry for him.

Needless to say, I was not pleased with this memory and the sudden realization that I was preparing for a meeting. Dread is all I felt. All I could think was, “Why?”

My guide was very close and he said very simply, “You are sad”.

twin-flame-swirlI didn’t feel this was true, but then maybe it was? Maybe I am hiding from a part of myself, some part deeply connected to a past where I was unfaithful? I do recall a life that fits that description.

In that, I remembered too much, I think, because I did find the sadness and two tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. I asked for healing, hoping to avoid any meeting like in my dream.

My guide said, “The healing needs to come via the physical”.

Just my luck!

I asked, “Who are you? What is your name?”

He replied, “Azekiel”.

I knew he was trying to prepare me, to help me with some big hurdle that is holding me back. I am not exactly sure what it is or why the healing needs to come via the physical. I suspect the person I am meeting has a similar need. Perhaps he and I are cancelling a karmic debt?

Near OBE

I fell back to sleep, asking to project. I was on my stomach and almost instantly found myself in the in-between but I was not becoming conscious like is normal.

I suddenly felt to be laying in my mother’s bed and all I could think about was the man from my previous dream and how desperately I wanted to be with him. The agony was very real and I just wanted to stay asleep and not have to confront the situation.

I felt someone shake me and say, “You need to get up now”. I ignored it and pushed against the hand saying, “I want to sleep”. The shaking happened again and I groaned. I heard other noises, the noises of a busy house – children’s voices, pitter patter of tiny feet, talking, etc. I specifically heard my sister’s voice. I do remember thinking that all I needed to do was roll out of my body, but I literally felt too tired to bother.

I woke up feeling so much better but I don’t know why. Perhaps I am just accepting that this needs to be done. Sigh.

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The Light of Sirius – Communication from the High Council

Upon waking this morning, I immediately received communication from my Council. This is what they said:

“We are pleased of your arrival. We have been waiting for you”.

There then came into my mind the vision of what appeared to be a distant star.

“There will come from a star an irradiating light. You will experience this light”.

I then felt a pulsing energy hit me gently. It felt to come from above me and to my left. I felt it intensely from my shoulders all the way to my crown. When it impacted with my energy, there was a slight tingling within my mind and a spreading out of it within my energy field. It was not uncomfortable but it was a new, odd sensation for me.

I wondered what star this light would be coming from.

The answer was instantaneous: “Sirius”.

“We will need your help”.

I instantly agreed, though I was not sure what I was agreeing to.

I lingered in bed for a while, wondering why these communications so often come upon my waking. I kept feeling I should focus upon my heart but my habit is to focus on my third-eye. Either way, the communication seemed not to end but to expand, filling me with a feeling of obligation, or maybe “desire to help” is more appropriate here.

I am not completely sure what I am being asked to help with, but it feels to me that these pulses are a beacon of combined intention sent forth from this far away star, or planet or whatever Sirius is. This emission of intent – of love, homecoming, acceptance – has been irradiating for hundreds, maybe thousands of years. It is familiar to me, yet I am not sure why or how.

This light, or rather communication, seems to be about to impact me, and others. I am not certain yet what the result of this communication will be. A part of me wants to push against this whole communication, resistant to the “alien” distinction that so inevitably arises from these kinds of communication. Yet I feel pulled to listen and to quiet the dissension from within. There is a Knowingness that pervades my Being. All I can do is trust it.

As I write this I am filled with more Knowingness that this light signals the beginning of a further transformation for hundreds of individuals across the world. I feel a deep respect for the creators of this message, this beacon or signal from beyond. I feel they are great teachers and that they have been waiting to ameliorate the human syndrome from me.

I am at this moment experiencing an odd energy from my left. It makes my stomach flip-flop and the side of my head, neck, shoulders and my entire left arm tingle. I am in awe.

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On Restriction

I began to notice an energy shift a couple of days ago. At first it was subtle but it was affecting me. I felt “off”, like something wasn’t quite right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Yesterday the energy was even more noticeable and dense. It hung over me like a cloud and I recognized that the shift was coming in hard and fast. This morning I didn’t want to get out of bed and I my mood was sour. I have adjusted now, but it has been so long since I awoke in a sour mood that it surprised me.

On Restriction

Last night I requested more information on the energy shift I am perceiving. I also asked if I could go OOB, lucid dream, or at least have some sort of wonderful energy-bliss experience. Finally I asked to see my Council, since I had never seen them before.

I was told that the perceived shift was indeed real and that it was to continue for the remainder of this week. As for my request for some kind of spiritual or OOB experience, I was told, “Not for two weeks”. When I asked why, I was told, “Your body is in peril”.

When I heard the word “peril” I wondered if it meant death but immediately knew the definition here was “risk”. In contemplating why this would be, I knew that it was because my body was recovering from my recent surgery still and that what was needed now was rest and recuperation.

How odd that a simple surgery to close one vein could result in such a long period of rest. Yet there also was the knowing here that it is much more than just the surgery that is the cause of this need. The energy shift and the resulting reorganization of the energy structure of my body is also at fault. Dense energies such as these hit the lower chakras that hardest. These are the chakras that are the most blocked by upsets in life. For me the result is a bone-deep tiredness and fatigue mixed with a high mental energy and restlessness.

Golden Lights

I fell into a restless sleep, still requesting to go OOB. I received confirmation from my Council – “Your request will be considered”. This was enough for me as I have faith that my Council will do what they can to fulfill it.

I found myself in a very odd dream. In hindsight, it appears that the dream was odd because I would drift in and out of the in-between state, coming very close to achieving lucidity.

In the dream I was laying in my bed and there was someone with me. This person was nudging me and talking to me about “waking up” and kept telling me someone wanted to talk to me. This person was pointing and nudging and shaking me and I was vaguely aware of being in a gray, shifty environment. I would shrug off the nudging and say, “I want to sleep”. I could feel myself trying hard to wake up but I felt overcome with exhaustion.

At one point I spoke to this person, who by now seemed to have a feminine feeling about them. She was asking me, “Wouldn’t you like to talk to them?” and I responded, “I would like to talk to my Grandaddy”. I was flooded with images of my grandparents during this time. My arm was being pulled and I remember wanting to get up but also not wanting to.

Something about the conversation and the pulling sensation woke me up. When I came to I was in the midst of intense hypnagogic imagery and subtle vibrations. My vision was flooded with a golden mandala-like image that moved and seemed to breathe with life. It was quite beautiful and I noted that it contrasted with the black and white images that have been commonplace of late when I wake in such a state.

Recognizing that I should not focus on the images, I began to try and relax and fall into the vibrations. When I did this, I began to notice my heart pounding in my chest and immediately knew that this would be too distracting to allow me to leave my body. I ignored the heart pounding and looked through the moving mandala image. There I could see a golden, winding staircase. I willed myself toward it but I must have been trying too hard because the minute I did this the imagery disappeared and I was wide awake.

Not too upset over the missed opportunity I fell back to sleep into odd dreams. When I awoke in the morning, I was overcome with the sour mood. I immediately was hit with intense, calming energy that radiated over my entire body. When it hit my leg it was uncomfortable and it was obvious that the trauma from my surgery was causing it. I thanked my guides and sighed. Two weeks seems like such a long time. At least I got the hypnagogic images.

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Sublimation of Old Earth Energies – Message from the Council of Many

The connection between myself and the Council can be felt at all times now. It is interesting to me how easily, how simply, the information flows through me.

The last phase in the Trifecta is upon us. This subtle energy has been intensifying over the last couple of days and will continue through the weekend with effects being felt as soon as tonight but most definitely by Saturday morning.This energy is of the denser frequencies; the frequency of old earth energies being burned off and sublimated.

For those of you who have been working on your lower three chakras and/or your heart chakra, these denser energies will move through these chakras initiating a reciprocal response in similar energies that still linger there. The response by individuals will vary from feeling an emotional heaviness or deep somberness, to a experiencing a higher level of fatigue and need for more hours of sleep as the body adjusts and sublimates the energy.

In those individuals who have been adjusting and aligning the higher chakra centers of the throat, third eye and crown, this final phase will bring out a deeper connection to your Higher Self, opening channels and conduits that have long remained dormant. You ability to “see” into the other realms will clarify and your Oneness will be felt with ever more certainty and resolve.

It is a time of a great sloughing off of the old and a reemergence of the You that has been forgotten. The peeling away of lifetime old layers of beingness, of masks you have worn in fear of being exposed for all you have done that you regret, is coming to an end for many who are in this phase of transformation. For others there will be a continuation in this phase for you have yet to come to an understanding of your full essence; you have yet to truly love yourself – good and bad. This cannot be forced and do not chastise yourself for not being ready yet to move into your new self.

The next phase will not be as physically challenging as it is the unfolding of your Self. It is tentative for most but be assured that you will not fail. You are like a flower bud opening for the first time. Slowly, but surely you will radiate brilliance and open fully to the light that is you.

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Cerebral Enhancement

I had difficulty sleeping last night. I meditated prior to sleep and went into what I can only call a “space” where I had no memory of thought or action or anything, yet I was not OOB nor was I dreaming. I felt subtle vibrations in and around my entire head but they were not overpowering, just gentle and relaxing.

I came out of my reverie and felt much time had passed but upon seeing the clock realized it had only been 30 minutes. Where had I gone to? I had no memory. Weird.

I attempted to sleep after that and the next hour or so I found myself in a state I have never before experienced. I was in the in-between, which is common for me, but instead of moving into the dream world as usual, I stayed there right on the edge. The typical dream thoughts and images would begin to form as is usual when I begin to fall asleep. What is odd here is that when these thoughts began to manifest, just as I would recognize a sentence or pattern, I would be jolted with an electrical current through my mind that would literally shake my awareness, throwing the stream of thought out of alignment and giving me a feeling of disorientation.

These “jolts” would pull me out of the in-between and I would have to return to a state of no-thought in order for the electrical current to fade. I want to emphasize here that the jolts of energy were not comfortable. It made me feel disoriented and unsettled to the point that I began to feel symptoms in my second and third chakras similar to nausea, but not physical. It was like spiritual nausea. Additionally, my head felt expansive and full of many currents of energy coming from more than one direction. It is as if I was being injected with energy from several vantage points outside of my physical body. When these currents would “jolt” me it was when they made contact with my thoughts. If there were no thoughts, there would be no jolt or uncomfortable symptoms.

After being jolted multiple times I finally appealed to my guides for help saying, “I want to sleep! What is happening?” I got the response, “Sleep”, along with a comforting feeling saying all was okay. I was so tired by this point that I must have been able to ignore any additional jolts because I fell asleep.

Cerebral Enhancement

This morning the memory is still vivid of these uncomfortable jolts of energy. I requested an explanation and this is what I was told:

You are undergoing a cerebral enhancement and reorganization. It is unfortunate that you were witness to these enhancements for they can be uncomfortable to the physical body. The thought patterns you witnessed forming in your mind were exposing specific pathways that needed adjustment. Once this reorganization is complete you will have better control over your mental processes, thoughts and awareness.

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OBE: Class and Discussion

When I went to sleep I asked to astral and then stated over and over, “I am out of body”. I began to drift to sleep on my stomach. At this time I became aware of vibrations and hypnagogic imagery. In my vision I saw millions of tiny, black and white circles spinning rapidly. They moved and formed a 3D shape that resembled a room and staircase. I followed it, thinking, “There is color!” and saw red pop up as I followed the staircase down a couple of flights of stairs. I then knew I was losing it and it disappeared.

I fell asleep and was awakened by my baby at midnight. About a half hour later, I went back to bed and again repeated, “I am out of body” so many times I lost count.

I had a long stretch of dreams that seemed to last forever. In them, I was semi-lucid with moments of such clarity I am surprised I did not awaken. In one I was preparing to take a shower and was in a massively old hotel with vaulted ceilings.In another I gathered up supplies for my upcoming class. I got cheese and jerky sticks, four of each.

Arctic Beach

This is when class began. I slowly gained lucidity throughout this dream.

I was being instructed as I watched a scene unfold in front of me. There I saw a beautiful arctic sea and massive polar bears walking along it. There was a man with one of them and he and the bear jumped into the sea, the man on the underside of the bear holding firm to him. The bear was so large that the full grown man fit easily between his front and hind legs. Interestingly, the bear’s face was scrunched up and looked more like a primate’s face than a bear’s.

As I was watching the scene I was blown away by the breathtaking beauty of the place. I could feel the coolness of the air and was briefly worried the man would freeze in the water. My instructor, who I could only sense, reassured me that it was okay. Though I could not hear my instructor, I felt him in all ways. It was like he surrounded me and was within me at the same time.

I knew from the class that this was evolution and how it occurred. I was being shown this scene to see where it started. I was then taken to the future and recall hearing myself (as my instructor) say that the bears decided they wanted more. They wanted to educate their children and I remember being very interested in this part.

I was now standing in front of a massive structure made of stone. It had been made by these future bears who were no longer bears but more humanoid-like. They had advanced and built an entire society! I saw the massive steps that led to the entrance. They were so large that I could stand underneath one step!

At this point I was completely aware I was in a “dream class”. I said to my instructor, “I want to go inside”.

Instantly I was transported through my “eyes” into the scene. At the same time I heard an odd noise from within that I cannot describe in words. Then, I was standing underneath one of the massive stone stair steps. I crawled through the space and walked into the opening that was the massive doorway. Inside it resembled a very large, domed cave. It was so high I could not see the top of it. I saw more structures all around made out of the reddish rock. All were equally massive. I felt to be in a very ancient place, long forgotten over time but that still held immense power.

As I stared up into the blackness I felt the familiar energy sensation that tells me I am about to leave the scene. It felt as if I were sucked out of it and my vision darkened as I made the transition. Then I was talking out loud to myself and staring at a brilliant white screen. As I spoke, golden letters appeared on the screen and words formed. I was taking notes! I don’t remember now what I wrote in its entirety, though.

In this white space I became interested in what I was writing. When this happened I voiced that I wanted to learn more. I was instantly covered in energy and popped into a new scene. There was hardly any movement to indicate I had changed location!

I Am Everything
Polar-Bear-Ice

In this new place I was mid-air, flying over a small road lined with green grass and trees. The sky was blue and dotted with clouds and I was pleased to be flying. I looked down and saw a car with two young men in it staring up at me. Pleased, I swept down and said, “Hi!”, waving at them. A young man smiled up at me.

Then I felt myself slowly being pulled upward into the sky and my vision began to darken around the edges.

I protested and said, “I don’t want to go that way. Please.” I knew my instructor wanted to know what I wanted and so I said, “I want to see myself. I want to know what I look like when I am not in a physical body”. I recognized instantly that I was granted this request and the scene and all movement froze. Still hovering mid-air, I saw in front of me buildings and a solid black door the size of a garage door. I remember wondering, “Why is there a garage door there?”

The swirling energy that was me intensified. I felt revved up, as if someone had set a match to me and I was engulfed in my own energy. Scenes flooded my mind. Mountains, valleys, rivers, cities, animals, men, women, planets, galaxies….and on and on. It was all instantaneous, as if I saw everything at the same time. Still in front of me I could see the black screen.

I said out loud, “And God created the heavens and the Earth. And he created man in his own image”. And such awareness and an overwhelming amazement and understanding hit me. I said to my instructor, “I am everything”.

Return to Body

Though there was an understanding and amazement, I felt more calmness than I have ever felt while OOB. As I absorbed the information I just received my vision became crisp and the buildings and green grass of the scene were right in front of me again. I heard my guide/instructor for the first time as a thought inside my mind. As he spoke to me, the energy sensations around me intensified to the point that I felt an amazing peace. The scene in front of me began to swirl as if it were being sucked into a whirlpool. As it swirled the scene felt to be coming into my eyes and my eyes felt alive with energy and so expansive that I wondered if they could get any bigger. I suddenly realized I was returning to my body, but not in any way I have ever recalled doing. This was an amazing entry!

This went on and on for what seemed like forever. I wondered if I were ever going to be back in my body. I could sense my heart beating regularly at intervals but mostly I felt this amazing, expansive energy that was me. How could all of me fit inside a body!?

My guide was saying to me, “You are everything. You are beautiful. You are more than a body”. He said more but I cannot remember it all now. I do remember asking him, “Who are you?” He responded, “Erron”. I remembered him and replied, “Hi! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you”. I was overflowing with gratitude.

Intense Energy and Messages

When I finally settled in my body, which seemed to take a very long time and was very, very gradual, Erron began to explain more about the class I had been attending. I heard the name Kashtar but I wonder now if it was Ashtar. We had been to a place somewhere in the universe. I was fascinated!

Erron explained that what we had been discussing was how evolution works. That we choose a physical being that has certain characteristics and then enhanced the being. These characteristics include spoken language, brain capacity and potentiality, and appendages suitable for creation. The being must also be highly adaptable. I asked why not telepathy and was told, “It is not finite enough”. Interesting!

He then reminded me of all the potentialities that exist on Earth. I recognized dolphins, whales, primates, elephants among a few. Any of these could be “evolved” but humans are the chosen being now.

Throughout our discussion energy sensations around my head were intense and there were periods where I felt to be drawn into a void and then settled back into my body. It was as if I were going out and then in, out and then in. There came with these sensations a swirling and expansion in my eyes and a swooshing sound that came from within me. I have never heard such a sound before and cannot even describe it now. It is not like when I have gone OBE. Not a Velcro sound or whoosh.

The entire time I was in a complete state of calm and emotional objectivity. If I had an emotional reaction it was so subdued that it is hard to say it was emotional. If I thought of something physical I was reminded, “Defer to your Higher Self” and instantly the thoughts would vanish.

Erron was not alone and when I recognized the others with him he said, “We are the Many. We have come a long Time to assist you”. I wondered if he meant distance but recognized this was not what he meant. I also recognized the E.T. element to this, though I did not question it further. I was told I would remember more and that was good enough for me.

I questioned Erron about the surgery I have scheduled. Is it something I should do? He said, “It is your home, decorate it as you wish”. I chuckled at this response because he was referring to this body as my home.

I then returned to sleep and had more dreams. I was awakened again by the energy sensations. In my head it was strongest but I also felt my heart, root and solar plexus all buzzing at the same time. I questioned if I had entered the third surge of the trifecta. I was told no, but soon. I spent quite a while just enjoying the energy. I still feel it in my head now.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10pm

Time to wake: 12:30am, 3:00am

Meditation?: Yes

Physical Exercise?: Yes, walking

Mood: normal

Body: None

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: WBTB, repeated “I am OOB”

Sleeping position: back

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 250mg, vitamin B1 300mg

Essential Oils: Clary Calm, Whisper

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Surrounded in Light

I awoke at about 6am to my son crying. When I crawled back into bed I had this odd recollection of my time away from my body. It is just a glimpse, so I can’t really call it an OBE but I am certain it was one. I am certain I have been OOB quite a lot this last week, in fact, I just don’t remember.

Surrounded in Light

The memory is quite vivid for how short it is. I sense myself in a very brightly lit place. The light is so white and bright that one cannot determine which way is up or down, left or right. In this white light I am surrounded by beings. They are taller than me and I cannot see their faces but I sense them very strongly and I feel very secure and peaceful in their presence. Where their faces should be is an intensely bright yellowish-white light and it pours out of the tops of their heads blending with the blinding white that saturates the space. There is no space between these beings, either. They are so tightly drawn around me that their bodies touch and one is almost indiscernible from the other. They are wearing what appears to be long white robes and their hands are open towards me. Their is also yellowish-white bright light shooting from their hands.

I don’t know how many there are standing around me but I think the number is 10. All I recall of the experience is that I am loved and that these beings are helping me to raise my vibration.

Vibrations

In the midst of recalling this brief memory of being OOB, I am covered with vibrations. They are soothing and cover my head and chest with a vibration blanket. I feel wrapped in energy and very relaxed. I drift off into dreamland but I am very conscious of it, semi-lucid.

I find myself in a room with people around me mingling about. I instantly recognize I am dreaming and wake up suddenly, the vibrations so strong I know I will project any minute. I try to relax into the feeling but I am too aware, too conscious of my body and the paralyzing effect of the vibrations. I wonder, “Is this sleep paralysis?” and I think, “No, I can move anytime I want”. But I don’t move, I just let the vibrations continue, feeling them move horizontally and wondering why this is happening. Why can’t I just go OOB like usual? Why am I being made aware of this?

I fall into dreamland once again. This time I am aware of being inside a roller coaster car. I am being thrown by a very, very large person. Their hand cradles the car I am in and then tosses it like one would toss a pair of dice. I feel the acceleration of the car, it shifts my entire body and I brace myself for the curve I see ahead. What is odd is I see a highway overpass, not a roller coaster track. I feel literally like I am on a boomerang and the momentum instantly brings me to full awareness.

I wake up in my body, once again jolted with vibrations. I again think to myself, “Why does this keep happening? Why do I keep waking up to vibrations? I should be OOB”.

Interestingly, I am not upset that I am in my body, just perplexed. I recognize now that they (my Team) want me to be aware of the vibrational state. I wonder, “Why?” And I know they are encouraging me to exit consciously. It is time for me to familiarize myself with myself and a conscious exit will help me do this. I will have more control over my OBEs and be in the right state for whatever it is they want me to do.

Huge sigh. I have consciously exited before, years ago, but the vibrations were very, very distracting to me so I asked to remain unaware of them and leave my body via lucid dreams. It is SO much easier that way (in my opinion). I guess that is not going to happen anymore. It is good, however, that the vibrations did not cause me to get overly excited like they use to. I was curious but not overly so. This is a good sign.

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Symptoms and Solutions

Current list of symptoms followed by what, if anything, I am doing to cope.

Symptoms

  • Waking early and often at night
  • Vivid dreams
  • Energy sensations, specifically on head and lower chakras
  • Vibrations, mostly at night but also during the day
  • Muscles twitches
  • Restless or achy legs
  • Decrease in guide communication and spiritual experiences (OBEs, lucid dreams, etc)
  • Increased calm and clarity
  • Incidents of mis-emotion, though they are getting fewer
  • Lack of motivation

Solutions

I have been waking so frequently the last week and my dreams are so vivid that I struggle to feel rested in the morning. I finally fixed this by taking a Benadryl last night and awoke this morning feeling rested! I still woke up several times and had vivid dreams, though.

The energy sensations and vibrations I experience are not unwanted so I don’t do anything about them except enjoy them when I have them. I did have an incident the night before last where I awoke with aching in my second chakra area but it went away once I woke up. There has been heart and root chakra buzzing on and off as well.

The muscle twitches are rare and do not bother me either. However, the restless and achy legs caused me to visit a doctor yesterday and get an ultrasound of the veins in my legs. It was discovered that I have venous insufficiency in my right leg in one of the saphenous veins. I made an appointment to close off the vein next Wednesday. It is a surgery but I am awake and there is no pain involved. And no, losing the vein is not bad. If I don’t get rid of it, it will just get worse and could cause pain and more restlessness in the leg as well as lead to varicose veins. My right leg is fine but they will monitor it since I get pain in it as well. I am just happy to know this is something that can be fixed and that it was not “all in my head”.

The decrease in guide communication is normal for this time. I was warned I would hear my guides differently and that is exactly what has occurred. If I have a concern or question, I have to send it out from me like I do when OOB, as a mental query. An answer is then returned as a feeling or an invitation to channel.

The incidents of mis-emotions are easily resolved by focusing on my heart center and listening. Sometimes I have to take a walk or I have to get away from the environment I am in, but most often just simply turning inward helps resolve it. Usually the lack of motivation I experience is linked to this mis-emotion and if I just simply allow myself to enjoy the present moment it disappears.

The incidents of calm and clarity are welcomed newcomers to this experience. It is not that I didn’t have them before but now it as if I can control when I have them. The clarity moments are the best as they tend to give me answers about what to do next. I get “ah-ha” moments and then know to take action. This is how I determined a trip to the doctor was warranted for my legs. I also recently decided to go back into session as I recognize I need help discarding limiting belief systems.

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The Trap of Boredom

Since the morning of the 19th I have been challenged once again by what I like to call “the trap of boredom”. This is a human affliction, as Spirit is never bored. Spirit knows only the moment and so it does not compare events of the past with events of the present or the future. Boredom only exists when one is not in the moment.

So there it is. My current struggle is with being in the present moment. When I find it, I am happy; content. When I leave it I feel lacking, as if I need to be doing something different.

Herein has been my struggle for the past couple of days. I have been seeking to create something new and different from what I have. I feel a need to do this. I have tons more time on my hands than I am use to, even at work this has been my downfall. Yet really, honestly, NOTHING has changed except my perspective. I suspect this change is linked to the current chakra adjustments.

In this boredom I often try to create something new to fill my time. It was made very clear to me in the last message I received from the Council that this next stage requires nothing of me – no action, no creation, no effort. My only task is to be. I thought little of this when I received the message but now I understand.

I am actually wondering if Mercury has gone retrograde without me knowing because what I try to create is almost instantly crushed. My job now is to be still. To let others come to me. To accept with grace my purpose of helping others. While I do this, I am also helped.

Focus on Blessings

It could be worse. I could be fighting with myself or in a major depression and dealing with health issues or relationship issues. In all actuality, everything is good. Everything is just fine.

The key here is to focus on one’s blessings, to not fixate on what one doesn’t have or on material possessions. This is what the Ego latches onto.

Today so far has been wonderful. It is the anniversary of when I met my husband. 8 years ago today he came up to me and changed my life forever. When I saw him, specifically his eyes, I thought, “He is my angel”.

Today he forgot it was our anniversary as it is not the typically celebrated marriage anniversary. But for both of us it is our true anniversary. I set up the delivery of a present for him to receive at work. He called me to thank me. He was in complete shock. We will be having lunch with two of our kids this afternoon to celebrate.

Celebrate the relationships in your life every day. Celebrate the joy of living in each breath you take. Give of yourself and you will receive abundance.