Tag Archives: dream analysis

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Dream: Horse Attack

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holiday season. For those of you who are struggling, for whatever reason, I understand. May you have the strength to endure whatever comes your way. Remember, “This too shall pass.”

For me, Christmas went smoothly. We have one more family gathering today and then we can rest and return to our regularly scheduled program. 😉

As 2020 approaches there is much contemplating the previous year and what is to come. New Year’s resolutions may or may not be made. I am generally not one to use the New Year for such things. Re-evaluation occurs at regular intervals for me and so January 1st generally comes and goes without much notice. My hope, though, is that 2020 brings much needed clarity for not only myself but all of the world.

My visit to my Mom’s this Christmas made it hard to ignore the continued struggles of my sister and her family. As has been the theme for them since 2011 (and earlier for my sister), they came to my Mom’s broke and struggling to make ends meet. Their electricity and water had been turned off the previous week and my Mom helped get the electric turned back on but the water bill was still unpaid. Their landlords left at the beginning of the month on vacation and obviously had not paid the bills, causing both to be shut off. The past due balance indicated they may have done this purposefully to force my sister and her husband to pay them what they owed them. My sister and her husband have a habit of not paying rent and utilities until they outlive their stays and get evicted, so it is no surprise to us this is happening to them.

Yesterday I went back to my Mom’s to give her the cookies I had forgotten to take. My nephew was there, dropped off Christmas night by his parents without asking my Mom ahead of time. I overheard a conversation my cousin (and BIL) was having that indicated they were headed to a party that evening. My poor nephew was so disappointed that I had not brought his two cousins, my boys, that he broke down into tears and said, “I just want someone to play with.” Both my mom and I continue to worry about him. My Mom will take my nephew in all the time to try to help. He often cries about returning home. He does not like his father who is emotionally abusive and just plain mean to him.

It is not a surprise that I had a dream about my sister last night.

Dream: Horse Attack

The dream began with me talking with my sister and cousin about an idea to start a business. I was giving them advice about registering it as a DBA and encouraging them to not give up on their dream. An old acquaintance was there, someone who died many years ago. I remember him saying, “We will help you when you got successful enough to become an LLC.”

Then I was with my sister driving down dark roads in a city. We had to stop because a group of acrobats (complexity) was in the road doing back bends (pun on bending over backwards for someone). I patiently waited until they finished, watching them in their leotards gracefully bend in ways I never could.

Afterwards we traveled to a shop my sister wanted to visit. It was one that carried special foods that were way more expensive than a regular grocery store. My sister had in her hand a bag of organic oats (need for comfort) to buy. I suggested she not buy it there because of her lack of money (she is a big spender) and so she put the bag down. I remember the owners watching and being very nice despite us not buying anything.

I remember picking up a long, soft blanket (protection) while there and there was also some small animal. It may have been a dog but I can’t recall. My sister took it with her.

What I do remember is that after we left I ended up outside in the mountains (spiritual journey) with some other people. I became somewhat lucid and opted to step back to see where I was. I saw a beautiful mountain peak and a cabin (need for seclusion) with tall, dark windows (something unknown). Behind me was a field with knotted oak trees near the edges. In the field were many long-haired horses (strength, power, freedom) that resembled prehistoric horses – shorter with larger heads and fatter feet. I called them by a specific name but can’t remember it now.

I climbed a barbed wire fence (overcome limits of relationship) and sat on the ground watching the horses graze. I began to take photos and noticed a large flock of birds (freedom from limitation) taking flight. The scene was beautiful! The birds flew behind the majestic horses and the sky was brilliant behind them, dotted with white fluffy clouds and a brilliant blue. The birds seemed almost to be protecting the horses or lifting them up.

As I sat there enjoying myself, the horses became curious and slowly approached me. There was a small horse that I petted and it seemed like it had been the small animal we had seen at the shop and my sister had taken with her. I realized the stallion (masculine energy, passion) of the herd was angry we had messed with the foal and wanted to get me out of there. As I stood up and prepared to leave I came face to face with his angry face. He snorted and stomped his feet and I turned and quickly stepped over the fence to safety on the other side.

I told the rest of the people there to hide because I knew the stallion would not stop at that. We began to look in a parking lot full of trucks for a safe place to hide. I climbed inside the back of a truck (hard work) with a cage (protection) and began to lock myself inside. The stallion had gathered all his herd together and broken down the fence. The entire herd was stampeding (mob mentality, lack of control over others) toward the parked cars, knocking some over. I saw a large Greyhound bus (following the crowd) topple over and the people inside upside down calmly looking through the windows at me.

I waited inside, huddled down, hoping the stallion didn’t catch my scent.

This is where the dream ended.

Considerations

Typically my dreams with horses are positive but this dream seems not to be. It feels like a frustration dream focusing on my failure to get my sister to change her ways. The dream them morphs into my frustration with society as a whole not seeming to want to change for the better. The people in the bus are not even afraid when they are turned upside down. Instead they just stare at me as if I am suppose to do something but all I do is cower in the back of the truck. Perhaps I am afraid I can’t help, or feel unable to help?

It reminds me of parenthood and how we have to step back and let our children learn, even if it means they fall time and time again. Though my sister is not my child, in many ways she feels like a child to me, behaving like a teenager would despite being four years older than me. Seeking out only pleasure and hiding from anything painful or uncomfortable, she is blind to the truth. This behavior is backing her deeper into a corner. Eventually her only escape will be to fight back by doing something. Hopefully it is not something destructive but her patterns suggest it will be.

As her sister all I can do is wait, “behind my cage of protection”, and hope that she learns her lessons to the point that she can free herself from a repetitive cycle of self-destruction. I want to help her but the help she wants only perpetuates her cycle. Like a good friend reminded me recently, “They have to want help“. Very true.

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Premonitions and OBE

After a day of furniture shopping for our sons’ new bunk bed in which we ended up buying much more (lol), I fell asleep quite quickly. Unfortunately, I woke around 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I was regretting a certain piece of furniture and worrying over some others. Typical buyer’s regret. lol

I was also annoyed by a completely clogged nose, well only one side. There is nothing more annoying IMO!

By around 5am, still unable to sleep, I gave up and opted to meditate while sitting in bed. As I meditated, though, I became more and more sleepy until eventually I turned off the light and fell asleep.

The last thing I remember is a song going through my head:

“Don’t worry, ’bout a thing. Every little thing’s gonna be alright.:

Visions of 2020

I didn’t fall straight to sleep. Instead I lingered in the in-between where I was talking to a man about things to come. I don’t remember asking to know this but, funny enough I remember wondering about what 2020 will bring a couple of days ago.

It all began as a vision. It was so clear that it pulled me out of my reverie. In the vision, I saw my step-father in a hospital bed with oxygen and other cords attached. He looked okay – not at death’s door or anything – but he was most definitely wearing a hospital gown and in a hospital bed. I knew immediately that this was a premonition. I also knew it didn’t necessarily mean he would die.

I remember discussing a scenario where my family moved in with my mom. I suspect I was looking farther ahead to when she would be a widow, living alone in her big house. I came out of this min-dream or vision thinking, “She would never agree to move.”

Then I recall a vision of a black man who was a tad gray and unfamiliar. My cousin, who recently split with her long-term and much younger boyfriend, was dating this older man and moving back to L.A. I remember being surprised because she has always talked about living in the country in her little home until the day she died. Perhaps love changes her mind? She currently lives in a double wide mobile home on family land. The home is in horrible disrepair from years of her letting pets and animals live inside with her and also not being very cleanly.

There was a scenario where my husband was asked to renovate the home and I remember tying it into the idea of moving in with my mom. I thought of our family living in the mobile home while we renovated it. It is literally a walk away from my Mom’s house.

Suddenly, I shifted into what was very obviously a lucid dream. I walked to my cousin’s house, which had been abandoned by her. Inside everything was as she left it. The first thing I saw was a fish aquarium with tons of tiny fish that looked like cats. The fish were hungry and gathering at the front. I got out some food and fed them while talking to someone about how odd it was for my cousin to just leave them and her other animals behind.

In the corner of the room was a bed. Tired, I lay down on it to sleep. When I looked up at the ceiling, though, I saw two visuals of the wall/ceiling. One was the dream scene, another was my own bedroom. I knew instinctively that this was an invitation to go OOB. I think, though, that whoever I was talking to indicated this telepathically, also.

OBE

Without hesitation, I decided to leave my body, though sleep tempted me to fall into oblivion.

OOB now, I was still talking to a man who seemed to be with me. For some reason I see him as a young black man and assume he is my cousin’s ex-boyfriend.

I fly out of the house and outside. The sensation of flying is wonderful and I hover near the barn intent on investigating my grandparent’s property while OOB which I do not recall doing often, if ever. My vision is full-on but everything is blurry and shifty.

Suddenly I am pulled upward toward the sky. I remember telling someone, “I don’t want to go up” while at the same time surrendering to the pull because I know that to fight it will likely pull me back into my body. I end up pausing over the tops of the trees.

Someone is with me and we go into a space full of people. It appears to be a party. There are people crowded in brightly lit, golden hued room but I  hear no music and they are not dancing or moving about like people in a party do. They do seem to be conversing with one another, though. I try to focus in on their faces to see if I know any of them but their faces blur the minute I try to focus. I speak to a few but get no responses. It is like they are asleep or not really there. Despite all this, I am very excited and feel like a child, curious and wide-eyed.

There is a distinct shift and I know I return to my body but I do not wake up or shift back OOB. I assume I fall victim to my exhaustion so some lucidity is lost.

Lucid Dream: Ship of Darkness and Giant Turtle Guide

The next thing I remember is being high up in the trees with others watching a scene below that is hard to recall now. I believe there are people below me swimming in clear water. The people are children and a child is with me, to my left. The entire scene is reminiscent of a fantasy book illustration. It has a very dreamy quality, brilliant colors and sparkly air that is alive with lights.

A woman to my right is instructing me to do something but I don’t remember what she tells me to do now. What I recall next is that the woman has a serpent-like, white body that moves toward me. I am drawn to her and feel that she is inviting me to join or merge with her. The energy is intoxicating and I remember hearing a female voice inviting me to come to her, telling me not to resist. I have a consideration that I am being tempted to do something “bad” but I don’t care and immediately toss the idea knowing it is not bad and fear is clouding my judgment.

I surrender to her and she wraps her tail around me, igniting my lower chakras in pleasure. I remember feeling drawn to stay with her forever but say, “I don’t want this. I want….”. What I want is a feeling that cannot be described in words.

Then I am standing with the woman at what appears to be the entry into another world. We are on the deck of a huge, black ship. The ship surges into a dark space with dark water. Inside, the ship doesn’t go far because it encounters a wall of round, black rocks. It turns back and then enters the blackness again and again, each time stopped by rocks.

I say to the woman, “There are only rocks here.” I am looking for an opening and there is a feeling that just beyond the rocks lies what I am seeking. I believe I am seeking a reunion with Self, or that is what it feel like anyway.

On the third trip into the dark waters I turn to the boat toward the rocks and get off. There is a small child with me who walks ahead of me. I only see the child’t feet, though, and at times the feet of the child shift to my own feet wearing black boots. We/I walk across volcanic-like rocks in the water. The child’s foot touches the water and a snapping turtle head pops up. Then I am watching a turtles attempt to bite my booted foot. Thrilled, I yell, “Look! A turtle! He is trying to bite my foot!”

On the other side of the rocks and water I turn back and see the turtle has grown so large that it fills up the water and towers above me. I grab onto his shell, fascinated and overjoyed to be holding onto him. I can see and feel the shell. It is very real!

The turtle disappears and someone (the turtle maybe?) hands me a penny that is the size of a basketball. I am told to kiss the penny eight times, breathing in with one kiss and out with the other. I do this, knowing that I am setting an intention for all things to work in my favor. It is my “lucky penny”. I remember breathing in deeply and kissing the penny, flipping it over, breathing out and kissing it again. The penny looks very dark like the rest of the place, as if it has been sitting at the bottom of the dark water for ages.

Interpretation 

When I wake up I know that my dream is showing me my future and giving me advice on how to handle what is to come. The darkness is the unknown. The black ship is the unknown, subconscious and perhaps unpleasant emotion. I enter it three times, each time encountering a dead-end filled with black boulders which are obstacles to progress. I do not give up and on the third try stop the boat and climb over the rocks across dark, deep water where I encounter a turtle. Turtles are wisdom and patience and this turtle feels like a guide. I am given an over-sized penny and told to kiss it eight times a certain way. Pennies are good luck and it feels that if I handle it correctly luck will be mine.

What is it I am looking for in this dark place? Well, prior to going there I am pulled into the snake woman where the Kundalini temps me. I do not resist but when asked to remain in the bliss I resist, recognizing it is not what I want. Specifically what I don’t want is the very sexually intense experience that tends to trap individuals in the lower chakras. I am shown that to find what I seek I must delve into “dark waters”. The ship keeps me afloat, though, which indicates I will not drown in the unknown but sail above it. Ultimately, I find a path through the darkness and a guide in the turtle. The penny can be luck as well as new beginnings.

 

 

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Dream Themes: Owls and Dogs

 

I am still recovering from my last illness. It just lingers and lingers. Thankfully I do not feel ill, just annoyed to have random coughing episodes. My daughter and sons are also still coughing every once in a while, so I know it is just the illness lingering and not something more severe.

My husband is still out of town but plans to return by the 19th. I am looking forward to a break from being a single parent to three children, especially during the holiday season (Halloween, Thanksgiving and part of Christmas).

I suspect single parenthood is part of the reason I keep getting sick. Too much going on, not as much sleep, higher stress levels – just go, go, go all the time! Being on the go is part of my personality and natural rhythm but I also need time to unwind and de-stress, which I have not really gotten, at least not in the amount I prefer.

Meditation to Balance the Masculine and Feminine

I purchased a book called The Art of Making Sex Sacred. I have only read the first chapter but did a meditation from it that produced a bit of insight. The meditation focuses on the masculine and feminine sides of the Self. Each aspect brings forth information to help balance the two within.

I have done the meditation twice now, once last night and once this morning. The first time I didn’t have much success, probably because my kids were awake and making lots of noise. I was able to get a visual of the two aspects. The male aspect looked like a man but had on some kind of large mask. The female was dressed all in white. This morning I saw these visuals again. I could not see what the mask looked like which bothered me but the male was completely naked. I think the female wore a mask too and she was still dressed in all white, like a flowing gown.

I asked how I could bring my masculine and feminine more into balance. I knew that the masculine is often the dominant one in my personality and I felt that I needed to listen and allow the emotional, creative feminine to express herself more. I was taught to be a strong, independent woman, to distrust men, and that emotion is weakness. Then I got a moving visual of people singing and dancing. I even heard the music to an extent. It was drums I think. I knew the answer was to get my body moving. They call it ecstatic dance, which I had done once before.

So, yesterday, I opted to do a quick ecstatic dance, or dancing meditation. I searched YouTube and found one online that I really liked.

The woman really drew me in and the experience I had indicated that it would be good to continue to practice ecstatic dance at least once a week, maybe more. I felt a tiny release of emotion, mostly relief mixed with sadness, while I was dancing. It reminded me of the last time I participated in ecstatic dance – when I went to Tennessee in 2016.

Dream Themes Continue

I continue to have very vivid dreams and have been seeing a repeat of certain themes since the last dream theme of 12. Usually, when I recognize a theme is present and acknowledge the message it brings, the theme stops. This is what happened with the 12 theme and has also happened with the owl theme thus far. The dog theme has been on-going this month, though, and continues to recur. This could mean I have not yet grasped the meaning of the theme yet.

Dream: Early Ceremony

I was inside a house with a classmate from high school. I also recall another person being there who told me my ceremony (recognition for accomplishments) would be held early. I was given a necklace (a relationship) made of gold with a circle (wholeness, cycle of life) pendant. Inside the pendant was a single diamond (strength) that could be moved up and down. I remember holding it and showing my classmate but not putting it on. An entire speech was said prior to me getting the necklace but I can’t recall it now.

I then talked to my classmate asking her how it felt to be 48 years old. I somehow concluded that I was 47 and about to turn 48. It felt like the month of July for some reason. Not sure if there is significance to this dream but I suspect the message was that something important would occur prior to my 48th birthday.

Owl Theme: 12/7-8/19

Dreams: Owls

In the beginning of one dream I was walking down a path and interacted with various people and objects. In one part I was taking photos of flowers – one was a large sunflower(prosperity). In another part I was looking at owls (wisdom, intuition, psychic gifts) and other animals. I don’t remember much about the rest of this part now.

Then I had a dream of being with my BIL and his family visiting a very nice house for sale in AZ. The house (soul) was a hotel and cost $6 million. The owner was giving us a tour and I was walking through it talking about how nice it would be to own this house in the mountains. The house was like a maze (difficulties and setbacks), though, full of very elaborate furnishings and expensive things. Outside on the veranda was a large body of water that I later discovered was a pool. It was my favorite part.

I got separated from the family and so got lost and had to find my way back to them. I remember seeing the house from above. It was positioned on a plateau with many acres and was the grandest house in the area.

Then we were with my BIL’s family going on a vacation to AZ.  We drove along a dirt road. Cliffs were high on either side with partially built houses in them. We came to an opening and there was a lake on both sides with more houses along it’s banks. One was a huge chateau built into the stone along the lake. The water was very low but blue and clear (positive emotion). I remember mentioning how the road would likely flood when the water got high.

We were going to take a dirt bike tour and I was looking at the cost – $350 or something. We got out of the car and walked a while and my BIL (masculine aspect), who was very dirty, jumped into the water to clean off only the water was very muddy (clouded emotion). I remember seeing an option to go visit the cave dwellings and mentioned doing that before the dirt bikes that would be at 1pm. I also said we could do it the next day. My BIL had to be back to work by Monday, so that didn’t happen.

Then the dream shifted and I was with my Mom at a ranch somewhere in west Texas. We were talking about buying it. I remember saying the mountains were perfect – not too high or too low. The people who previously owned the ranch had animals. I remember she had a baby owl that she raised to adulthood. It flew onto my arm and it looked to have cat (feminine sexuality) ears. I recall being shown it was raise along side a Cougar (feminine desire) and they played roughly together. Very odd!

Dog Theme: 12/10/19

Dream: Peeing Dog

The start of the dream was outside near a pool (cleansing) that was so green with algae (risks, unforeseen problems) that it looked more like a pond. There were people swimming in it and I remember thinking of how difficult it would be to clean the pool. I was also concerned that the pool was toxic. I can’t remember if I was in it or not but amidst the pool memories I recall being in my old bedroom at my moms, the room I occupied while I was in high school.

Then I was walking a dog (protection) that resembled my dog Trooper. We went into a house or apartment that I knew was the home of a my friend Yvonne. My dog suddenly acted like he needed to poop and decided to stop near Yvonne’s sofa table. I tried to pull him off the white, furry rug but he squatted and began to poop anyway. What came out was not poop, though, but a stream of clear water (clear emotion). He then decided to walk as he pooped/peed and left a trail of the stuff across the living room. I could hear Yvonne in the other room teaching a class so I tried to be quiet as I cleaned up as much of the mess as I could. I remember the pee smelled odd. It didn’t smell like poop or pee. I hoped Yvonne wouldn’t notice as I took my dog out of the home quickly.

Note: The next morning my friend Yvonne had tons of posting on Instagram and one was about a walk-in meet-up next summer. Yvonne rarely posts on Instagram and this was the first post I had seen in over a year. Coincidence? Not likely! Similarly, the ecstatic dance coincides with Yvonne and the walk-in group as well. Ha!

Dream: Shifting Dog

In this dream I was driving somewhere along a highway (path in life) when I noticed my dog chasing my car and not giving up no matter how fast I drove. Worried he would exhaust himself or get run over, I pulled off onto the feeder road and stopped the car. At this time he morphed from an Aussie into a tiny wiener dog (be persistent, don’t dally). I stuffed him into my coat and then got into my truck (hard work) where I put him in the tiny back seat.

Then I drove and drove until I reached a very busy highway intersection with ramps that went very high into the air (ascending spirituality). It felt like a hub of some sort. I was looking at a GPS as I walked around trying to decide which ramp to take. Somehow I lost my car and was on foot but I don’t remember when this happened.

I began to walk up a very steep ramp along with many other people. My dog was with me in my arms. As I walked the GPS said, “Take ramp 2” and then said, “Recalculating” indicating that I had taken the wrong ramp. I remember thinking, “I can’t back up on a one-way ramp” but then realizing I was on foot (my individual path) and I could turn around and go back. I walked a bit back toward the bottom and then tried to jump over to ramp 2 when I saw a large space between the two ramps and a drop far down to the ground that would kill me if I fell. So I continued to walk down further. I climbed over the rail (barrier to progress) to get to ramp 2 without any issue. Someone commented that it was unusual to jump over the rails and I responded that I had to get over there.

Then my dog was loose, the wiener dog, and an older couple was reacting with surprise. I went after him and he morphed into a tiny baby (new ideas, new potential) and jumped into the space between the ramps that should have been a drop but instead was water. I watched as the baby floated in the water for a little while feeling at first like I couldn’t move to go rescue him. Then I felt able to move and swooped in and picked him up. I asked him why he jumped in and he said, “So you could rescue me.”

The dream continues with me walking up the correct ramp. I saw a mother and her daughter discussing the many places to visit in the city the ramp led to. I saw a map with various colleges and the daughter pointed to a stadium at a college saying she was going to visit. I commented that I would never attend such a big university in a big city like that – too many people and I don’t like people very much.

Then I recall being inside a building where there were many people milling about looking at various pamphlets for colleges and universities in the area. Along the sides of the room were people sitting at desks with PCs. I remember noticing that others in my group were absent and then remembering that they were on their college day and that I had taken my day the day before.

Considerations

Overall, my dreams seem to be pointing at me doing more inner work and healing. Along with the illnesses I have been dealing with it could be that I am undergoing a massive physical and emotional clearing in preparation for something to come.

The dog symbol could be a reminder to stay protected or that I am protected. The dogs that morph go from a dog in my past to an unknown dog to a baby. This in itself seems to point to clearing up issues from the past, seizing the moment and “rescuing” ideas and potential that may have been lost or forgotten.

The owl has long been my totem. I have had real-life encounters with the Great Horned Owl throughout my life but most of my encounters have been in dream time since my awakening. I find it curious that I saw the owl as having “cat ears”. My guess is I was seeing a Great Horned Owl who looked to have cat ears. Also, cats tend to be a common theme of mine indicating feminine power and sexuality. So perhaps I am being advised to listen to my intuition and dreams (owls) and stop denying my feminine power (cats)?

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Dream Theme: 12

I’ve been slowly recovering from my most recent illness. I have a lingering cough along with mild fatigue that is most noticeable when I try and do any form of exercise. Every day I feel a tad bit better, though, which is good!

Not long ago I had a strange sensation that hit me when shopping. This was over the Thanksgiving break and I had hoped to get some Christmas shopping done, only I was feeling really tired and kinda out of it. While shopping I suddenly had this strange sensation that began in my right groin area and then spread out along the top of my thigh. It felt like I had wet myself – warm and wet. I looked down and nothing was there. I touched it to make sure it wasn’t wet – it wasn’t. It went away quickly so I forgot about it but it returned later on and then one more time after that.

That evening my right ankle started hurting for no reason. I thought it must be sciatica so I did some stretching but it only exacerbated the problem causing the pain to increase.

The ankle pain and the weird, warm, wet sensation are likely related. I am thinking it is nerve related. The wet warm feeling was so real! It really did feel like I wet myself! Each time it happened I thought I must be losing my mind. lol Thankfully the feeling has not returned and the ankle pain is gone, too.

Dream Theme: 12

For the past week I’ve been having random dreams, most of which I barely recall. When I do remember a dream, though, it usually has the number 12 in it. At first I didn’t think much of it until I had another dream with the number in it this morning. Afterward, on the way to work, I was thinking to myself, “I wonder if the number 12 has anything to do with the 12-12-12 gateway coming up? Hmmm, I bet it does…” As I looked up with this thought fresh in my mind I saw the car in front of me.

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It caught my attention and so I quickly snapped a photo to remind myself that when the Universe answers it does so in very obvious and synchronistic ways!

Now on to the dreams….

Dream, November 30th – Surrogate to Twins 

I had a long dream about being pregnant (new potential waiting to be born) with twins. I was not showing but reporting to the hospital to be induced. I knew that my twins – a boy and girl – would be going to two different families, adopted out, and I was a surrogate (giving of self for others). For some reason an old friend was there with me. I remember talking to him about the upcoming delivery as I waited for the doctor who never came. Turns out I was not meant to arrive until later, on the 12th. I also remember my hospital room number being 12.

My friend told me about how he got his heart broken and how difficult it has been for him to let anyone in ever since. In the dream I was like “Oh that makes so much sense” but now it is hard to recall exactly why I thought this. When he told me his story I saw it play out as if watching his memory unfold.

When it was time to leave, my friend helped me carry the things I had packed. I had in my hand folded clothing (projection of self, how one see’s self) in stacks. There was too much for one person to carry.

Then I was crossing over the hill toward my mom’s house. I was trying to pick veggies as I did but ended up needing help. My hands were holding a cord that was strung over the top of the road and I was hanging from it as I crossed. Someone helped me pull asparagus (erotic desires fulfilled) which I was intent on getting. The asparagus was much bigger than it should be, though.

Dream: Return to Haunted House

In this dream I was inside a house watching a young boy get an erection and have sex with a girl. I remember being shocked and saying, “He’s too young to do that!” Someone (me I think) informed me that he was 12 years old, so not too young.

As the dream progressed I realized I was the 12 year old boy’s twin (duality, two parts of whole) sister and he had been having sex with me. Very odd!

Throughout the dream there was a back story about my dog (protection, fidelity) being very ill. I was watching him, waiting for him to die, when I realized he may only need a drink of water. So I offered him some water and he drank it and slowly began to revive. I was surprised at how stupid I had been to not realize he was just really dehydrated.

Then I was talking to a man, my father I think, about returning to a house that was haunted to investigate and see if I could communicate with the ghost there. I went and watched from the outside for a while, then went inside. Others were with me and I recall going down into a lower level (subconscious) that was adjacent to a pool (cleansing, rejuvenation) that was outside. I went to use the bathroom (cleansing, seeking relief) and it was all set up so that someone could use the bathroom when swimming. I remember using the bathroom and then going to a table in the middle of the basement where a chocolate cake (pleasure) was being cut. I spoke to an older man about how he was selling pieces of cake on Amazon and how he hired a chef to cut the cake and mail out the pieces. I thought this seemed off but accepted it.

Then everyone was gone and I was outside the haunted house looking at it. It was getting dark and I was feeling a bit afraid so I sat in a chair across from an old abandoned mechanic shop. I began to sing in Light Language and as I did it was as if time reversed and the house was like new again as was the shop. I saw a young woman come out of the house ranting and raving. I walked up to her still singing in LL and she responded to me, looking at me and smiling. We got into good communication then and I recognized her as a friend. Not sure what we talked about now but it felt like I was freeing a trapped Spirit, probably a part of myself. 🙂

Lucid dream: Broken Motorcycle

In this dream I was inside my house watching a child who was about 6 years old. Her parents were going to pick her up in the morning. I asked her when her bedtime was and she said, 6:30pm. She was only suppose to stay for 3 hours and I remember thinking it must be they thought two hours before bed and one in the morning. I asked her which bed she wanted to sleep in and she said my daughter’s.

There was a whole sequence about the girl waking up and wanting to play with my kids and then her parents picking her up. I opted to go to work early and found myself driving along a familiar road at 6:30am. This is when I became lucid in the dream.

Realizing it was too early I got the idea to pick up something for breakfast. I drove into a parking lot (delay) that was dimly lit and full of cars. I looked for a parking place and saw some shady young people, thugs, who began to follow me around. So I opted to just leave but the button that turned on my motorcycle (need for escape and adventure) would not turn it on. I began to fiddle with it and it broke off in my hand. The thugs were close and asking me what was wrong. I said the starter was broken but I pedaled it like a bike (taking a journey alone, independence) and left the area.

Then I was walking along a stone sidewalk next to some water. It reminded me of Venice. I saw some young people sitting on a pier and began to talk to them. I decided to take off all my clothes (projection of self) and jump in the water but with every layer it seemed there was another under it. I did get into the water and went up to a guy and his girlfriend. I kissed the guy and the girlfriend looked shocked. I laughed and left, reassuring her.

I kept walking and saw another couple up near a stone bridge. I went up to them and they were huddled together doing something. Curious, I asked them what they were doing and both had small stringed instruments and were playing music. I said it looked cool, turned around and saw a man watching. I went up to him and kissed him. He kissed me back, laughing.

Then I noticed a woman up on the bridge. I went up to her and recognized her. She was quite thin with dark hair and bright red lipstick on. She was upset and I hugged and kissed her, pulling her close to me trying to comfort her. I remember trying to take off my clothes again but never succeeding for the same reasons as before.

Then I was walking through a library (wisdom). I remember knowing I was looking for someone, someone who I resonated with. I saw lots of normal looking people and began to search their faces in hopes of finding someone who I had a connection with. Unfortunately I found none. Someone spoke to me asking me if maybe I should have been a man. It seemed like I was being given a choice to change genders. I laughed and said, “No way! I love the female body!” I remember thinking that the male body was generally unattractive and I would never want to give up the beautiful body I had in exchange for a masculine body.

Considerations

I find it interesting that both dreams that involve the number 12 also involve twins. My best guess is that the message about the 12th has to do with another aspect of myself or maybe becoming “whole” again. The sense I have about the number 12 is that it is merely a heads up of something to come. I am happy to wait and see what that something is.

The final dream was very lucid and I seemed to be on a mission to find someone who I felt a connection with. At first I was just kissing random people but eventually I remember deciding that I would have to be observant and patient to find what I was looking for. Perhaps that in itself was the message and lesson of the experience?

Finally, I did not mention there was another dream in between these three. In it I was released from prison. There was much symbolism in the dream but the main message seemed to be that I was soon to be “freed” from a trap/prison of some sort.

In the past I have had dreams of being in prison so it was refreshing to finally have a dream where I was being released from one!

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Dream “Shake-Up”

I felt unsettled last night. I kept waking up and when I did sleep it was quite light.

Dream: Shake-Up

In this dream I was with a few other people inside a large building that housed an empty indoor pool. My memory is hazy but I was being asked to hurry and go with them back to school, but I turned around and told them I had to get something. I ran across the empty pool, from the deep to the shallow end, and went inside a room. The room looked to be a bedroom and I thought of it as the room of my sister. My intention was to go through her stash of snacks.

When I got to her dresser and opened the drawer I started grabbing snacks by the handful, specifically looking for chocolate. I recall seeing a bag of cigarettes. The boxes were completely white with no markings but I knew that was what they were. I left them alone, took a bunch of sugary snacks and left.

I recall the walk across the empty pool took longer than I expected. It was enormous! As I got to my friends waiting on the deep end they pointed behind me. When I turned and looked I saw two people coming out of the back door I had just come through. I knew to hurry up and get away from them. For some reason one of them, the man, felt like the principal and I felt like I had done something wrong.

When I reached the other side a female friend and I began to walk along a sidewalk. She spoke to me about all the classwork I had missed and would need to make up. I responded that I thought that I could make it up since I had been sick. She seemed to indicate that I was faking and I told her, “Well I am back now aren’t I?” I remember that I had come back to school after being gone for a very long time – months maybe. The assignment we were talking about came into my mind as a visual of popcorn. It was odd.

At one point the woman got upset with me. She put her hands on my shoulders and began to shake me while saying, “You need to stop prostituting yourself!” The shaking was vigorous but what she said is what got my attention the most. I woke up.

When I woke I felt weird. I was laying on my left side and so turned to lay on my back. It seemed to me like the shaking was a warning that my guidance cannot do anything to help me if I don’t help myself. My heart was skipping beats and I think I was feeling residual energy and vibrations at the same time. It was not a comfortable feeling so I got up to use the bathroom, got back in bed and tried to settle down.

Also, there was another shaking episode before this but I don’t remember anything except the sense of being shaken.

Dream: Hospital Treatment

I entered into another dream where I found myself inside a hospital waiting to see the doctor. There was memory of recently having gone through a procedure related to my heart. I remember hearing people discussing my case but can’t recall specifics. I felt somewhat out of it, like in a daze – how I suspect someone would feel who just got told they had a terminal illness. All I wanted to do was find a bed and go to sleep.

I lingered near a shelf full of pills and vitamins and picked up a large bottle. I remember thinking it was massive and was what the doctor had prescribed me. I also knew I would have to take them the rest of my life. The bottle ended up empty except for two pills – one was a multi-mineral pill (large and speckled) and the other looked like a B-complex (small and yellow). I actually spit them out into the bottle after it seemed like I had taken the entire bottle of pills at one time.

A woman called to speak to me about a future appointment on the 22nd. She was a counselor and had been away on vacation but was returning and reminding me of our Tues appointment at 3:15. She asked if I would be there and I told her I had a dentist appointment at 3:30.

Considerations

The first dream is the one that sticks with me the most. Not only did I physically feel the woman shaking me but what she said bothers me. What does “prostituting” ones self mean in a dream context? Was she suggesting that I am giving away my power? Or was it literally about me using my body as a means to gain from my husband a false sense of security? Probably both. Typical of my guides to just say it like it is but to shake me, too. Damn!

The empty pool means feeling devoid of emotion or it might indicate that past mistakes will not be repeated. It can be also that the cleansing or healing “pool” has dried up. The sweets are me focusing on the good things in life or seeking them out. Cigarettes are sources of toxicity in my life. Thankfully, I choose to leave them. The popcorn represents good fortune or a windfall. My missing school and pretending to be sick, indicates I am avoiding something or that my symptoms have been self-created to avoid something – the windfall perhaps?

In the second dream I am being told some important news about the state of my “health” in this case most likely spiritual but it could also be physical. This could be a worry dream as well. The pills are problem solving and the struggle to resolve one or more issues. The appointment could be symbolic of the conflict I am experiencing – get counseling (work on myself) or go to dentist (handle problems first).

Crazy, Bi-Polar Energy

All I can say about the energy since August is WTF Universe? I had one day – ONE DAY – where I felt good and optimistic and now it seems like the energy is shifting up, down, up, down, and even sideways.

Yesterday, it felt like the energy was literally pushing me, like forceful, but toward what? I have no idea but it came with that feeling like the other shoe is about to drop. Yay – love that feeling…not. Then towards evening it all just calmed down and leveled out.

This morning after being shaken twice in the night and having the above dreams I felt slightly anxious, but it settled within a couple of hours after waking. The energy feels lower today, like it is heading into another build-up.

This is what I perceive about all this crazy bipolar energy that wants to PUSH. It reminds me of the energy in 2016, actually. It is saying, “Clean your shit UP!” And those of us (like me) who hate cleaning or have been in avoidance all this time or distracted by life are feeling the push the most.

I like to think I have my shit together when it comes to my life path/mission, but I don’t. My guidance likes to remind me to “follow the 8 Winds (of Buddhism)” and they recently nudged me again. I have been learning all about how to not seek out pleasure and I think I have learned that lesson pretty well since 2015 (pats self on back), but it occurred to me that I am failing at the other half, which is to NOT avoid pain and discomfort. It isn’t saying to jump head first into pain and discomfort, just to be open to experiencing it. I think I might be the Queen of avoidance of anything painful and uncomfortable. My guidance has their work cut out for them.

Probably why they are shaking me……

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OBE: Flooding

It’s been cold here in Texas with temperatures dropping overnight, the high’s went from the 90’s to the 50’s. Typical for Texas Fall weather but always a shock when it happens.

Thankfully, the cooler weather makes perfect running weather. My husband and I took a nice, easy, 3.2 mile run together and I experienced no heart speed-ups or panic. I felt wonderful afterward. 🙂

In general I’ve been feeling much better than I was in August and September. I’m sleeping really well and my dream experiences have been mostly positive. I have had two Kundalini-type dreams, too. I have not written about them because they were nothing special, but wanted to mention it anyway because it seems related to the recent shift in energy.

Last night was a busy night dream-wise. I blame the full moon.

Dream: Spiked Fuel

I was at an unfamiliar house. My sister, her son and my mom were there. My sister was letting her son stay home from school. He was pretending to be sick and she was making a fuss over his “illness”.

At some point I was watching as my cousin, my sister’s husband, came to drive them home. I watched as he put whiskey or some similar alcohol into the tank of the car and then he drank some of the spike fuel. I remember knowing he was drinking excessively and practically drunk all the time. It worried me and I wondered if he would get sick, but he didn’t. They ended up driving away in the vehicle, leaving their son behind.

Lucid Dream: Addicts

I woke up briefly. Thoughts of the previous dream were going through my head. I was wondering if it was a message to be on alert for addictive behavior. My sister and her husband have both struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, so it wouldn’t surprise me.

I entered into a dream where I was watching celebrities deal with their addict spouses. In one scene I watched Brad Pitt sitting in a limo, his wife on the opposite side of the car. He was listening to his wife tell him she was sorry and how she would fix it, etc. I was hovering nearby and whispered to him as he was about to speak to her, “Wait. Don’t let her manipulate you again.” He stopped and looked at her. She looked back and the silence between them was deafening. I put my hand on her shoulder and told her I understood. I wondered if she could feel me.

In another scene I watched as Madonna got off a van with another woman. She immediately took the woman’s hand and walked proudly beside her through a crowd of reporters. Again, I knew the issue was addiction and that Madonna was standing beside this woman, supporting her and showing the world through her actions.

OBE: Flooding

I became aware of laying in my bed on my back. I could feel how relaxed I was. I thought, “I want to go OOB.” Then I waited for the vibrations to come, which they did. Several times I had to remind myself, “Not yet” before the vibrations were just right for exit. Then I sat up out of my body.

My vision and perceptions were immediately available to me. I noticed the room was well lit and went directly to the door and out into the hallway. The lights were on downstairs and I could hear my family talking. I went to the stairs and jumped down. I could feel the sensation of falling, which was a surprise. When I landed I saw my youngest crawling around on the living room floor. He was still a baby and was wearing funny little glasses that looked to have a price tag on them. He saw me and crawled toward me. I remember thinking, “I must have gone to the past. Wow!”

I turned around to see my family whose voices I could still hear in the background. I saw my daughter and other son just as they appeared around 2014.

Rather than become distracted by the indoor scene, I walked past my son who was still crawling around happily on the floor, and went out the front door. Outside it was bright but the scene was very different than reality. My attention went to the ground which at first resembled a swamp. I remember saying, “It’s a swamp!” I slowly flew around looking down at it and then decided to look at my hands and said, “I need more clarity.” Then I said to my Higher Self, “Show me what I need to see.”

I continued to fly forward and look around. Where my front yard would normally be was high water flowing swiftly and separated by tufts of long grass. It looked like what happens when the water level rises and flood a normally dry area of land. As I looked in front of me I saw people in vehicles driving through the water. By this time the water was so high that all I could see were the tops of the cars, the water stopping just under the windows.

Unconcerned about what I was seeing, I began to fly further out, touching the water with my toes and noticing it was cold. Around this time I began to notice my physical body and could both hear and feel myself breathing. It was distracting and I tried to ignore it but the breathing sound was very loud and I could feel how uncomfortable my body was.

By this time I was in the water and turned around to float on my back. Looking up at the sky my vision started to go out. First in one eye, my right one, and then slowly in my left. My breathing was so loud by this time that it reminded me of Darth Vader in Star Wars. lol

I didn’t fight the loss of my vision and just floated in the water until I felt my astral body hit something. I was no longer in deep water and could stand up, but instead of getting up I ended up coming back into my body.

Music Message

When I woke up my nose was clogged and my body was very uncomfortable. No wonder it woke me up!

I was thinking of my sister and her family again. A song was going through my head that I know is a message about them. I was hearing, “Well you look like yourself but your somebody else, only it ain’t on the surface.”:

I couldn’t help but think about one of my OBE’s from long ago. It was one of the only times I met my deceased father while OOB. The entire OBE my father was talking to me about my sister, warning me of “difficult times” that she would go through. It was the oddest thing because I was so excited to see him, hug him, be with him, that I didn’t think anything of him talking about my sister the entire time until I woke up. Sure enough, she has been on a very difficult path ever since.

And here, yet again, it seems that I am being warned of something to come. First the dream of “spiked fuel” and my sister and her husband leaving their son behind. Then the dream of two addicts, one indicating that support is needed. And finally the OBE of a flood which is all about emotions and highly emotional situations.

After recalling that OBE with my father, I wondered to myself, “What was I suppose to do when I had no idea what “difficult times” meant?” It’s not like I was shown what exactly would happen. I couldn’t warn my sister by telling her what to look out for. And so, if this dream and OBE sequence is similar, I don’t know what I am suppose to do with the information. Anyway, it seems like all my sister experiences since that time are “difficult situations”. I guess all I can do is be there to support her when she needs it.

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Message: Clearing Fear and Pain

What an amazing day it has been! Wow! I woke up feeling so amazing!

Dream: Caught in the Seat Belt

I was driving on a two lane highway when I spotted someone I knew parked on the side of the road. I pulled over to see if he needed help. I called him by name but don’t recall exactly who he was only that he was a father figure (masculine aspect) to me. He was older, maybe 60s, graying hair and thin. He seemed to be caught in his seat belt (security, safety).

I went over the help and he was embarrassed because the seat belt was across his groin and his privates were exposed. I went to try and untangle it and saw his privates but they looked odd, like intestines or something similar. His testicles were both caught and I spent a while pulling on them. They unrolled and dangled very long again looking like intestines more than testicles.

I said should I called 911 several times and eventually I just called. A man answered. He sounded very hill billy. There was sound in the background like a party or gathering going on. I told him where we were “Highway 51 on the way to Jarrell”. He asked for more information but then I saw my mom pull up in a car. She had a knife and immediately cut the old man loose. He was free and relieved. I asked the old man if he still wanted them to come check him out. After no response I told 911 not to come.

In-Between Meeting and Message

I ended up in a large auditorium classroom. A man was on the stage and I was the only other person there with him. I stood below him and looked up at him on the stage. I had come for advice and he felt like a teacher – perhaps a guide? He was explaining how the rest of the world had been working on the top portion of the energy field and gave me the rundown on how this was playing out. Basically he said work was being done to reestablish the connection to the spiritual/Universe/God by clearing those blockages that kept one from their intuition, guidance and higher self. Those who accomplished this might feel they are finished because they often get to experience that connection first hand and it is life changing. Some may feel stuck or seeming to make no progress while others will be just beginning this process, newly awakened and in “awe”.

However, the work is not done after the connection is reestablished. He told me I had moved on to the next part of the task which is clearing the lower portion of the field. I saw an energy field as two circles intersecting with a human figure in the middle – a vesica piscis. He explained that the bottom area where the circles intersected was the area to be cleared. He told me this area contained “fear and pain” and gave me the type of symptoms that would be experienced with this clearing. The examples I got were in visuals. For example, I saw thoughts exploding out from a person in the form of words and images and falling to the floor as the person desperately tried to scoop them up. I was shown how the darkness contained just as much beauty as the Light and this I understood as truth. My understanding was that the symptoms involved much confusion, panic, anxiety, fear, and an overall sense of impending doom or losing one’s mind. I told him I understood and with relief we discussed how I had gotten through the toughest part which took around six weeks (since mid-August). Relieved I asked him what was next. He told me something else was coming, like another opportunity or option. He said, “it is up to you what you decide”. It did not feel bad, just seemed like a heads up that I would get a choice soon and it didn’t matter what I decided really just that I could decide and had a choice. At the time I did not see it as a bad or good thing, just something I needed to be aware of.

I was shown how the human aura (still looking like a purple vesica piscis only in 3D) formed a tunnel that flowed in both directions – up and down simultaneously. The flow can’t just go up, it also has to go down, constantly cycling, Earth to Heaven, Heaven to Earth. The lower portion is undergoing a massive clearing. The advice was similar to other dreams where I was told “look forward” and put on “blinders”. Focusing ahead and not behind or to the side. The fear will breed more fear, pain more pain. I understand this advice as I relate it to being afraid of the dark. How when I was a child in the dark I would stare straight ahead, walking toward the light, doing my best to ignore the dark shadows that lurked to the side and behind me.

I recall shifting back into my body a couple of times during this visit. My body was vibrating very high to where it felt as if I were being shaken. I slipped easily back into the in-between each time.

When the visit was over, I entered a lucid dream where I was outside on a sidewalk. It was bright and sunny outside with greenery and the smell of Spring. I remember thinking of the crazy feeling and the paranoia I experienced not long ago and how I worried about so many things I should not, like what people think of me. I got down on the sidewalk and rested face down, arms and legs splayed, thinking, “I don’t care what people think.” Laying there on the warm concrete felt good. Grounding.

I sat up and felt relief. Looking around at the place, which appeared to be the outside a building with paved, dark asphalt roads, shrubbery, and parking lot, I saw someone I recognized in the distance. She was looking toward the parking lot as if talking to someone. I called out her name, “Angela!” She turned and looked at me. I said, “Hey! I’ve been thinking about you!” My old friend came over to me, still looking a bit dazed and deep in thought, and asked me how I’d been. I told her that I had just been through a real tough time but was finally on the other side of it. She nodded her understanding and seemed to relate, tears slowly coming out of her eyes. Then a woman appeared out of the blue and said to Angela, “See, I told you she didn’t forget you.” Angela began to cry in relief and I said, “Of course I didn’t forget about you!”

Message

I came back to my body and lingered in the in-between for a while, thinking about the discussion I had with the “professor” and the strange encounter with my old friend. I truly believe that I stumbled upon her while she was dreaming. Perhaps she called to me or maybe our energies just synced. Whatever the case, I emailed her and told her about the dream. I hope she is well.

While lingering in bed I heard, “Gila National Forest” and “healing”. I came out of my reverie suddenly and wondered about it. Where was it? Arizona? Oh yeah, New Mexico. My husband is from that area and I told him about it and the “healing” message. He and I will be planning a trip there in November. I want to go visit the cave dwellings among other things.

The entire day I have been feeling blessed, happy, and optimistic. The song, Stay was going through my mind most of the morning – “All you have to do is stay a minute, just take your time. The clock is ticking, so stay”.

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Put Your Blinders On

I felt the energy shift yesterday. It was subtle, and may have only been in my universe, and that’s okay with me.

When driving home from running some errands yesterday afternoon, I was waiting at a stop light when a huge semi truck crossed through the intersection and slowly turned right. Along the side of it in big letters was the word, “FORWARD”. I knew instantly there was a message in it and remembered my guidance telling me in a dream not long ago that I needed to look forward and stop lingering in the past. The truck was entirely too slow so the message was unavoidable.

Later in the day, during a conversation with my husband, I realized that I keep way too much inside. I have no close friends or family to vent to. I chose long ago to stop venting to my mother about my relationship and life because 1. it made my issues her issues, 2. she is my mother and so would immediately try to help and therefore become judgmental and critical, and 3. it invites her into my marriage, where she doesn’t belong. I don’t vent online really either. Sometimes I write in my private journal but writing is not the same as talking to someone. There is relief in verbal expression that one just can’t get through written words.

What ends up happening is that I vent onto my husband. Suddenly, everything I have not gotten to express comes gushing out and he takes it all as me blaming and making him wrong – which it really isn’t. He becomes defensive, then I become defensive and then our conversation breaks down.

The obvious solution would seem to be that I need to find someone, a friend, to talk with. The thing is that I probably wouldn’t share my marriage issues with even a friend for the same reasons I don’t share them with my mother. Sharing = inviting them into the problem so that they become a part of the problem. Now, if I had a friend who could just listen and offer support without judgment, hug me and share in turn, and who I could trust, then yeah I would vent away. Problem is those kinds of friend are few and far between and being I don’t have any friends to begin with these days it seems unlikely that will ever happen.

Communicating openly with my husband then is the only way to resolve this issue. I can’t hold it in but then he needs to not get defensive and judgmental. Last night, at least, we seemed to move in the right direction. Forward.

All the references to my throat chakra make a whole lot more sense to me now.

Prior to bed I was feeling optimistic. The conversation I had with my husband lingered in my thoughts. He had said something about noticing how much I had changed for the better. It made me smile and get a little emotional.

Dream: Putting Blinders On

I had a very in-depth dream about getting married to my husband. The setting was at my grandparents house in the country. I remember having an argument with my husband and him deciding to call off the wedding. When he did this I thought, “Oh well. If that’s what you want.” Then, he changed his mind and it was back on and I was surprised but accepted it.

In between this I was looking out the window and saw a group of white deer grazing. I got out my phone to take a video but it took entirely too long to get to the camera and then I accidentally took a picture. When I finally got to take video I saw the deer become spooked and run. They ran alongside the house. With them was a large, white horse.

The horse was very spooked and being it was so large it could potentially hurt someone. I remember someone saying, “Put blinders on him”. Eventually he settled down because he could only see what was in front of him.

Other Dreams and Considerations

I had another dream that followed this one where I was contemplating what it was like to be single versus what it is like to be married. I watched young people in an office setting flirting and dating. I felt to be older and wiser and better off being married. My husband and I sneaked into an office to watch a movie. We were laying down, his head on my chest, discussing how he had not seen the end scene before. I had no shirt or bra on and felt very relaxed and happy.

I recall a short dream where I was looking through my purse and found wads and wads of money. I began to count it and separate the bills by type. There were way more $1 bills than anything but it was a large sum of money. I was trying to keep an older man from seeing it, worried he might want to rob me, but he didn’t seem to care. I then left and went to the doctor to have some skin tags removed which had suddenly sprouted all over my body.

Then there was after that where I was in a chicken coup with a man. The two roosters had dug out a pit that was so deep it was holding water. Some hens jumped into the pit and began to swim. One went under the coup and I was worried the pit had been dug so deep that it allowed the chickens to escape. I said, “Uh oh! What if the hole goes under the foundation? What if they are trying to get out?” The man with me reassured me that they could not escape. I watched as a white chicken swam around in the muddy water thinking it odd.

Finally, as I was lingering in bed this morning, I saw the white horse from the first dream. I saw only it’s head and noticed it had blinders on.

I feel fairly positive this morning. My dreams give me hope, especially the ones about my husband. I have marriage dreams quite often but not many with my husband. To have him in my dreams is a shift in itself, which I feel is good. The feelings I felt were good. The deer symbolize domestication. The horse symbolizes freedom or a free spirit. White is purity. All are positive symbols. The blinders indicate there is a need to focus forward in order to calm the wild spirit of the horse. This goes very well with the “Forward” message I received.

The money in the short dream is about my perception of my ability to reach my goals. The more money, the more confidence. I also feel concern that it will be stolen, so there is fear of lack or of others taking from me what I have worked hard for. I then visit the doctor, which represents healing, to remove skin tags, which represent unwanted feelings or concerns.

The chicken dream is about courage. I often have dreams of chickens in various situations. In this instance they are confined but I worry they will escape. The pit is likely my subconscious or something out of my control. The muddy water is muddled emotion. I fear they will dig under the foundation and escape but am reassured they will not.

 

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Lucid Dream: Are You My Friend?

Went to bed feeling a bit unsettled. My chest was feeling odd and I had thoughts before bed that felt intrusive, as if I was being spoken to by a spirit with evil intent. The thoughts were the kind that induce the anxiety and then I start to feel like my heart is beating wrong or my chest hurts, etc. I believe it said things like, “You will die” but I can’t remember now exactly what it said, just that it was not good and sparked the anxiety response.

Lucid Dream: Are You My Friend?

I had lots of strange dreams but the one I recall now caused tears.

In the dream I was following this blonde woman around a suburban neighborhood. It felt a bit like The Walking Dead the way we were trying not to be seen or heard. We would go past a house and I would know that someone might be looking out the window and if they saw us would come out and attack (distrust in others). I recall telling the woman that I knew the man in one house was not good as I had seen him and his wife before and they were not right in the head.

Then we were in a house with others sitting in chairs as if in a group meeting. The woman was not paying me any attention but I wanted it very badly from her. I can’t remember what was said now but it led to the next part.

A vision appeared in front of me as if through a window. I could see people sitting in bleachers (spectators, not actively participating) all facing the same direction as if watching a game. My consciousness went through the window and into the scene. I was very lucid and had the thought, “I wonder if any of them were really my friends?” I was remembering when I spent time in TN with the walk-in group as well as the time I went to Mt. Shasta. The feeling of belonging was wonderful. I had felt to be truly part of something bigger. I felt seen and understood more than I had before and there was hope that I would not have to go through this life feeling so different from everyone anymore. Yet all of it vanished and is now gone as if it never was. So I wondered, was any of it ever real? Were any of them ever truly my friends?

Now in the scene with the people sitting in the bleachers I approached each of them, looking closely at them and seeming to recognize them, only they were not anyone I recall from this lifetime. I remember asking them one by one, “Are you my friend?” Most seemed not to hear me and I began to get upset and cry.

Eventually, though, they began to acknowledge me. One woman who looked Native American turned to me and said, “Yes.” Then another person and another. Each responded with compassion and emotion. With each response I began to feel relief and the relief turned to tears. Yet at the same time there was this sadness and a feeling that beyond the dream scene I could not trust any human to be true to their word. That all of them would betray my trust in some way. This caused me to feel even more alone.

Protect Yourself

My tears woke me up and I felt more certain than ever that some negative entity was intruding into my thoughts, brought back by the fear/panic/anxiety that has recently become such a nuisance. Each time I thought to consult with my guidance I would withdraw because the chance that what I received back could be influence by a negative entity was likely. With my mind quiet I feel even more alone, though. Yet I know that, like years ago, my internal dialogue right now needs to be strictly controlled.

Dreams and other incidences in my life suggest that I need to protect myself right now. Some examples are: 1. A friend recently told me I should protect myself, 2. Yesterday I came across an article about a man struggling with a “demon” that constantly sent him negative thoughts, and 3. Various dreams and messages to protect myself. I believe the silencing of my internal dialogue is part of protecting myself as is the awareness of what is getting through and its origins – like last night, when the negative statements created an instant panic response. This needs to be addressed. But how? I know that this entity feeds off my fear and insecurities. If “entity” is even the right word.

It may just be that this entity or whatever it is just comes about when my fear levels rise high enough or it could be that all along it has been there hiding, disguising itself as one of my guides and creating the upset. I know that early on in my journey (2004ish) I chose to stop talking to my “guides” because it became clear to me that they were not helpful. I stopped the internal dialogue and went into a Dark Night coming out the other side to a marriage and family but years of silence from my guidance until my OBEs returned as did my guidance. But the guidance was different (felt not heard) and I did not return to the constant internal conversation with them that I had before. It could be that I fell back into that routine out of a need for company and reassurance and the previous negative voice was unintentionally invited back.

In the past, silencing my internal dialogue worked. Perhaps it will again? I have been doing it so far fairly successfully but the fear brings it on and it is hard not to hear the negative thoughts. I have to consciously replace them with, “I am alright. I will be okay” along with thoughts about what is right and good about my life.

Then there is the feeling that I can’t really trust another human. It is a belief, really. I like to think that humans are innately good but my experience tells me another story. Perhaps it is just that humans will do what is in their best interest; they are selfish and preoccupied with the “I”. Men will say pretty much anything to get what they want. “I will never leave you” is a statement to be wary of. In fact, any statement that uses the words, “never” and “always” are flags to be wary of. Women will pretend to like you as long as you pretend to like them but won’t hesitate to say bad things about you to others rather than tell you personally what issues they have with you (passive-aggressive). Expectation and judgment is everywhere and creates constant conflict. It clings to humans like clothing.

I am left wondering if any of my experiences in this lifetime were what they seemed to be. The walk-in group and the people I met so disappeared practically over night. The period of time where I practiced mediumship and had hopes of making it my career – vanished as if it never was. The heart connection that blew me away, disappeared as if just a dream. All the crazy but amazing “ET” encounters and Kundalini lessons have stopped as if they were just my imagination.

The only thing that has remained consistent is my family and mundane life experience. Husband, children, mother, brother, sisters, extended family – all the same with the same issues.

Then there is me feeling such loss when it comes to the spiritual and spiritual connections I have made. It makes me wonder if the “path” is even a path at all? Perhaps I have been tricked all along?

Ultimately, all I can do is go with how I feel on what to do and that means silence my internal dialogue the best I can and focus on the physical for a while.

by

2 OBES and Messages

Quick update on my CBD oil experience. I decided to try one last time to see if I could cut out the uncomfortable side-effects I was experiencing – low blood pressure, exhaustion, dry mouth (and eyes), stomach issues, diarrhea. I opted to just take six drops of CBD oil before bed. I had no side-effects and still experienced a slight calm but nothing significant. I had no side-effects at all. The next day I took four drops in the morning and then six at night. Again, no side-effects and a slight sense of calm. I slept soundly but it took me a while to fall asleep. Last night, I upped the dose to 10 drops and felt a more significant calm and experienced the energy around my third-eye and crown along with a subtle heaviness. However, it did not help me fall asleep. It took me until midnight to fall asleep but once I fell asleep I did not wake up again until 6am. Still no uncomfortable side-effects as of yet.

So it looks like I was just taking way too much of a high concentration. 🙂 I can’t say it is helping with my anxiety too much, though, because I had a small panic attack toward the end of my workout yesterday. It was just slightly higher heart rate and a little bit of worry lasting only about 5-10 minutes. Very mild.

Dream: Washing My Hair

I woke in the dream, got out of bed and went into the bathroom to wash my hair (beginning anew). I remember being a bit confused but knowing I needed to get ready for family photos. I stood by the sink and began to put shampoo into my hair when I realized I was naked except for my socks (protection). I was going to get into the shower but decided to put some conditioning oil into my hair instead.

Then I was driving along a dark, two-lane road, hair still full of shampoo. I could feel my hair piled on top of my head, heavy with shampoo. I wondered, “Why am I driving? Where am I going?” I had no idea where I was. It was dark and there were no other cars on the road. Then I couldn’t remember what day it was. I just could not remember. It brought on lucidity all at once but before I could take control of the dream I remembered it was Saturday and I woke up.

OBE: Toothless Man

I turned to the clock: 6am. I tried to sleep but it took a while.

The next thing I remember is hearing people talking to each other as if I was listening to a radio show. A man and a woman were talking and I could hear them clear as day. I have no idea now what they were talking about but at the time it was easy to understand them.

I knew that hearing them meant I could exit my body. I remember thinking, “I don’t want to just lay here listening to these people.” For some reason I returned to my early days of OOB travel and began to rock back and forth until I came out of my body. When I was out I was completely wrapped up in my blanket (protection) and could not get it off of me. This shifted me back into my body.

Back in my body I began to rock back and forth again. It took very little effort to get OOB. This time I was standing next to my bed. The blanket was just on my foot and came off easily. I remember reminding myself that the blanket was not real, which is why it released so easily.

I went to the door and out into the open room beyond. The space was brightly lit and there was weight lifting racks where there shouldn’t be. There were four people there, three I seemed to know and another I didn’t recognize. He was tall with dark brown hair that sorta curled around his ears and neck. I went up to him and said, “Hey, who are you? Why are you here?” He smiled a toothless grin. He was missing his two front teeth (insecurity). Though he seemed a bit creepy he didn’t scare me.

He said something to me like, “Don’t you know?” but I can’t remember what all he said now. Whatever he said put me at ease and for some strange reason I lifted my shirt and said something I can’t remember now. I felt a bit like a child showing off. He laughed and for some reason he seemed gigantic to me, towering over me as if he were 7 feet tall. I said, “Why am I so small?”

Suddenly, my perspective shifted and with that I decided to leave. I went through an opening in the stair rail (which even a small child would not fit through) and flew down the stairs. At the bottom I saw my middle son and his cousin but they looked almost like twins. I said, “Hey let’s go outside.”

We flew through the front door and outside. My son ran off quite quickly and I followed him trying to keep up. I turned and called to his cousin who was standing at the front door crying. I called to my son to wait but he kept going.

Outside it was day but then quickly began to get dark. I believe this was the result of my being unable to keep my vibration up high enough. I stopped in the middle of the road and began to fly up towards the sky. My vision came in and out as I floated. The feeling of floating was wonderful and I fell into it, enjoying it and hoping to be pulled up and into another scene, which often happens. Instead, it felt like I bumped into something.

This is when I began to slowly trickle back into my sleeping body. It was so slow that it felt very odd when I finally returned, kinda like I was being shaken from the inside very rigorously. At first I thought it must be my heart was beating irregularly but when I checked my pulse it was slow and steady.

OBE: Laura 

I had a very short OBE the night before but did not have time to write about it.

Before the OBE I was in a dream house sitting at a desk with a computer (communication). This was my work station and my boss sat at a desk behind me. I remember my computer kept needing to be charged (healing, needing energy). Then the teacher left at 9pm. I got up to get a snack out of tiny fridge but there were only grapes (abundance, success) and apple (security) juice inside. There were sandwiches (wholeness) behind the left door but it was stuck.

My husband and kids came inside with sodas. My husband shakes a soda as a joke and then spews it into the trashcan. They all laugh. I am concerned about the mess.

I then stare through the window at a beautiful scene of wildflowers and butterflies. I end up being pulled through the window into the flowers scene. I stand gazing in awe at how beautiful the field of flowers is and think, “Wow! This is our yard?”. Then I walk around to the right by a huge oak and the scene shifts. Everything looks gray and dying. The tree has no leaves. I turn back and the scene is beautiful again. I note the perspective shift and recognize the message, “It is all about perspective.”

I opt to stay below the huge oak looking for butterflies. I see one flying toward me and get out my camera to take picture. It flies into my face and I see it doesn’t look like any butterfly I’ve ever seen. It has red, bat shaped wings and a red, ant-like body. It is quite ugly and somewhat sinister.

I go inside and sit on the sofa to review the footage I got of the strange butterfly. The same butterfly follows me and flies into my face again. This time it shifts me OOB and I find myself floating in a different scene. I see a young woman floating nearby and she says, “Come on!” I feel her excitement and know that she is inviting me to explore with her. I smile and immediately fly toward her. When I get to her I hug her and call her name, “Laura!!” She grabs my hand to pull me with her. I go but wonder what she just said and ask her to repeat it. She laughs and says, “Come on!”

My questioning who this woman is causes me to shift back into my body. I feel the shift but allow the dream to continue. I watch the video footage of the butterfly and see how I caught the moment I went OOB. I can see my shift through a portal. It looks like arches of reddish hued moving energy. I am fascinated.

Then someone places a book in my lap and tells me that I need to select a symbol as my protector. I understand somehow that it is necessary but don’t know why. It feels like a game and I happily sift through the book to look for a symbol for myself. I see all kinds of brightly colored images of Beings, some mythical, some of Knights, some of Beings I have no name for. The Beings shift forward and then backward and flip upside down and I hear, “You need to know your symbol in and out, forward and backwards.” I think, “Okay….” Then the symbols shift to black and white simple images like diamonds, shamrocks, hearts, etc. I remember closing the book and thinking, “My symbol isn’t here.”

The book vanished and in front of me is a picture of a family. They are dark skinned and all look identical. I remember knowing it was a message, too, that we are “all the same”. I thoroughly digested this tidbit of information with the eagerness of a child devouring cotton candy. I could literally taste the Knowledge.

I woke up knowing the dream was important so I wrote it down on a piece of paper. I did not have time to enjoy the feeling of Knowledge that I was having. It made me very happy, though.

Considerations

This last dream and OBE felt like a warning of sorts but not of something horrible of dire. Mostly it was reminding me that the perspective I take is only one and I can shift it any time. I seem to be drawn to the darker side in the dream, which isn’t a bad thing, it just IS. In this lifetime I have often found myself fascinated by the shadow side, curious to the point that I seem to want to experience it more than the Light. I do want to experience the Light as well, but the shift from one to the other is like riding a roller coaster of extremes.

The strange butterfly would then be the “dark” version of a butterfly. There is a fascination with it and for some odd reason I am reminded of the movie Legend and the “devil” with his red body, horns and hooves.

The latter part of the dream seems to indicate that it is okay to want to dive into the shadows but that I need protection to do so. I search for my symbol but it is not there. This could be that I have yet to decide on one. Then I am shown that we are all One and it feels amazing, so much so I cannot describe it except to say it has a taste like cotton candy – sweet.

The OBE thrown in there was odd. I think it was one of my FB friends but can’t be certain. It was such a short encounter but a memorable one.