I was thinking last night about my day and how, at certain points, there were incidents that reminded me very much of dreamtime. I wondered, “What if I did a dream interpretation of my waking life? What would it look like?”
So, I’m going to try it and see what the symbolism says about my waking hours. 🙂
As with any dream, there are not-so-lucid moments and more lucid moments. Therefore, I will focus on the symbolism in the more lucid moments because they would be what I determine to be significant in my dreams.
My “Dream” Day
Most of my day is a blur with me going through my morning routine and work schedule as normal. It’s amazing just how insignificant most of my day is in my memory.
I had to go into work to cut checks (strong financial future). I do this weekly and it is nothing out of the ordinary. However, lately, the printer has been acting up (difficulty communicating wants/needs) so that when I print checks, two will stick together and ruin the whole batch. So, I end up printing three checks at a time, going much slower than usual in order to try and resolve the issue. Unfortunately, the printer still messes up and I end up wasting four or five checks. Finally, fed up with the problem, which has been going on for weeks, I talk to our office manager and ask her to work on fixing the issue, which can be done easily with some heavier weighted paper. I briefly wonder to myself why it took me so long to do something about the printer issue when it was so simple.
My daughter calls me right as I am leaving the office to come pick her up at school because she is done with testing. I ask if she wants me to get her before or after I go to the grocery store (seeking nourishment). She doesn’t respond until I am already at the store, so I go in before picking her up. I shop and get in line. I notice a man holding a huge bag of tomatoes (prosperity, new phase beginning) is behind me. I have a ton of stuff so tell him to go ahead of me. He is grateful.
After picking up my daughter I head home, check my work email and do my exercise. While exercising, I am feeling really good and have more energy than I have had in a while. So, I get on my rower to row 3000m. While rowing my mind is blank and I go into a meditative state. When this happens, I see the meters counting down (a countdown is commencing) – 1978 down through 1890’s. As the numbers countdown I have this idea that I am traveling backward in time, watching my own birthdate, my sister’s, my mom’s, my grandmother’s and even a past life. I think of how only certain era’s feel real to me (the 1900-2000’s) and wonder why this is. I answer my own question with, “It’s because life back then (pre-1900’s) was so very different to life now.” And, indeed, I feel this discomfort with pre-1900s and wonder why that is. Why is it uncomfortable? I consider how time is fluid and how, with just a thought, we as spiritual beings can move backward and forwards, just like I was doing in that moment, watching the numbers on my rower countdown to zero.
I decide to go on a walk but find my watch’s GPS (feeling no purpose/direction) is sluggish and doesn’t turn on until a half mile into my walk. I get somewhat irritated by this but eventually decide it doesn’t matter and that is when the watch’s GPS comes online. I realize then that I am walking for the wrong reasons and so head home early (reasons for walking – focusing on recording my miles, trying to “prove” to myself that I am better than others who are less physically active, seeking to be better than others).
I decide to give my dog (fidelity, protection) a good brushing and see a solitary flea (minor discomforts and annoyances) jump off him. I tell my husband when he comes home and he decides to go get some shampoo and flea treatment. I shampoo (cleanse old attitudes and beliefs) my dog outside and my kids helps. My youngest decides to play on his scooter, slips on the wet concrete and hits his head. My husband comes and gets him and I worry about him the rest of the night. Sure enough, he wakes with a headache, crying and my husband wakes me up to get the medicine and gets mad at me when I don’t want to wake up. He tears up my bed in his anger as I walk downstairs to get the medicine. I give it to our son and return to bed but am irritated at my husband for acting so childish and can’t go back to sleep.
Considerations
The above are what remains in my memory of my day but the most significant to me is the lucid part while I was exercising. Later in the evening, it was this event that had me considering how our daily activities could be interpreted in much the same way as our dreams. Besides, I’ve always considered dreamtime just as real, if not more real, than my day-to-day waking experiences. Now that I have reflected upon my day, it is clear to me that interpreting the events of my day is much more revealing than I thought it would be!
The printer experience and how it played out is significant. In life, I’ve noticed it can take a long time before I do something about an issue, especially if something requires I have to go out of my way to make an effort to resolve it. In this particular case, the printer had eaten one too many checks and I finally got fed up enough to take action and fix it. I have suffered through weeks of irritation and just now took action! And if I look at many issues in my life, it is exactly the same! Why do I take so long to change what I dislike about my life? What is that final straw that motivates me to make the needed change?
I find it interesting that with each of the more lucid moments of my day, I am alerted to something via my environment and later have a realization because of it. For example, the GPS not working points me to something I am doing in life for the wrong reasons and so I adjust my course accordingly. Similarly, the flea, which is a minor annoyance in my life, reveals itself when my husband annoys me with his angry outburst and wakes me up for something he could have handled on his own.
I am especially curious about my tendency to wait before I take action on those things which need resolution. I believe it is the perceived discomfort of initiating change that creates the resistance. Yet, there really is not that much discomfort at all, once I decide to act. Honestly, it feels good! So, why do I do this? Is this a human tendency? I wouldn’t call myself a procrastinator. Nor would I say I am “avoidant”. Lazy? Maybe, at times. Unmotivated? Most definitely!
So, maybe it is the end result that I am feeling is not worth my time and effort? Yes, I think that is it. If I can’t see a benefit that is greater than my effort to make a change, I don’t act. Huh. The thing is, what we see/perceive (future) is limited to what we have seen/experienced (past) and there are many potential futures that could exist beyond our limited perception and experience.
What could interpreting your day reveal to you? Try it.
Lately, I have been questioning Human Design, specifically the idea that certain aura types generate energy and others don’t. The idea that some auras don’t generate their own energy lends one to believe that those types then are “vampires of energy”, having to rely on generating types to have any energy at all. Otherwise, they are easily exhausted and unable to do much. I don’t believe this to be true.
As a non-energy type Projector, I’ve rarely if ever find myself exhausted like this when alone. Technically, since I don’t generate my own energy, I should be a total sloth or at best someone who is forcing herself to wake up and move around throughout the day. Yet, here I am, with plenty of energy, exercising 5 days a week, working full-time, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc, and I still manage to have energy at the end of the day. Sure, I live with 4 Generating types, but they aren’t home with me 8 hours of each week day. So, how then, do I happen to have so much energy for all the tasks and things I do all day?
What I see in HD FB groups I’m in is young Projectors justifying their lack of energy because of their Type. They say, “I’m too tired” or “I just can’t exercise like I want, I just want to sleep.” Huh? I just don’t have that reality. “I can’t” usually only happens to me when I get sick and that is rare. I am always moving around and I find that I have extra energy – which, BTW, makes sense because I have so many Generating types around me. Exercise helps me process that energy and keeps me balanced.
I remember my Projector friend being tired often when we were young and she still seems to be like this. I never understood it. Why is she always so tired when I’m not if we are the same Type?
The most that happens to me when around too much activity/energy is I get grumpy and need to get away for a while. But, I am also a 2nd line, and this is common. I spend most of my time alone and am very particular about who I spend my time with. Is this why I am not tired? IDK.
When I was a teacher around kids and people all day, I ended up with major insomnia. This was from all the energy I picked up during the day. I just couldn’t release it all there was so much. Once I dropped full-time, that stopped. So, for me, the only downside is that I end up with too much energy and struggle to release it all.
I think, perhaps, people are just misunderstanding the idea of “energy type”. All auras create energy and have sufficient amounts to sustain the organism, otherwise we would be dead. lol My theory is that the Types in HD are referring more to how the aura functions than to how much energy a person has or is capable of generating. So then, yeah, Projectors would accumulate energy and need to release it, but this doesn’t mean they don’t have energy otherwise!
Okay, now to my crazy dreams.
Dreams with one theme last night. I also woke frequently and slept much lighter than I have been.
Dream: Escort Wagon
I’m inside a small house, or maybe a tiny house. When I think of the space, I think of a gypsy wagon or something similar. Yet at times, this small space is very large and resembled the inside of a modern home complete with large, spacious kitchen and floor to ceiling windows. I also know I’m in Montana (mountains, spiritual journey).
There is a discussion behind the dream scenes that I occasionally catch pieces of. There is enough information to recognize that I have been given an opportunity to select from a group of men the man I want to have as my sexual partner. It feels like someone has gifted me with a gigolo, or male escort, but I am undecided on whether to accept the gift or not.
I recall being in a very nice kitchen (seeking nourishment, wisdom) with white, marble countertops, thinking specifically, “I don’t need a man. I can pleasure myself.” This is my strongest argument against taking advantage of the offered gift. I don’t see why I should bother with a man and all that goes along with one – their tendency to latch onto me and not let go, their expectations, their projections – all to curb my own desire.
Then I am in the living room. I am aware of men in the space with me. I believe there are three, but I specifically see two. Somehow I know these men are “from Montana” and I take note of this in the dream. They both have full beards (masculinity) that are very bushy to the point that the hair covers so much of their faces as to obscure their facial features almost entirely (trying to hide something). One man is very confident and explaining to the other man the “job” of escort. He struts around me and the other man, shoulders back, chest high, proclaiming his vast expertise and knowledge of how to pleasure a woman.
The other man remains quiet and his eyes are big. It is clear he is new to the job. He is happy to let the other man win.
The whole time it feels like I am suppose to select one of the men to be my partner.
The men in the house all begin to exit out the back door except the two standing in front of me. The over confident man chooses to take the dog outside for a walk. It feels like I direct him to do so but have no specific memory of this. I turn toward the window and locate the light switch (seeking illumination). There are three switches and I switch them on, one by one, to see which one illuminates the back yard. I am able to turn on lights that extend all the way back to the edge of the property. They are like flood lights but they only stay on a moment and then flicker off. I try to get them to come back on, but only get the front lights to illuminate. I say, “There must be something wrong with the electrical.” I see the man walking the dog outside and then turn back towards the other man.
I take the hand of the other man, the quiet one, and pull him towards me. I turn back to face the window as I wrap his arms around me, asking, “Are you nervous?” He is standing behind me, pulling me close, both of us facing the large windows. He says nothing. Instead tilts my head towards his own and gently kisses me. My lucidity must peak because I can feel and taste his mouth on mine (and I don’t feel a beard). He kisses me gently again and I hear him say (telepathically), “Let me try that again”. I feel my lower chakras begin to light up.
Just as I begin to fall into the ecstasy of the moment, I am rudely pulled out of the dream by a guide asking, “Why did you choose him?”
Conversation
Awake and a bit grumpy at the guide who intentionally pulled me out of a wonderful dream, I reluctantly answered his question. I said, “Because he is new to this. He is like me.” This answer came with a recognition of my feelings about the other man, the over confidant one. Though he likely would be the better lover because of his experience, his conceit was unattractive and I felt that if I selected him I would put myself at a disadvantage because I didn’t feel to be his equal. He would have total control and I would be completely at his mercy. To voluntarily put myself in such a situation would leave me vulnerable.
Yet, there was a part of me that was highly attracted to the over confident man and desired nothing more than to submit to him fully.
What is funny is that a scene from a nature show I saw long ago came to mind. It was about chimpanzees. The alpha male went around beating up the other males and having sex with all the females in front of the lower males to prove his dominance. Yet, when the alpha male was distracted, the females sought out the lesser males and had sex with them. lol
I wondered just how much of my dream selection was based upon a similar pattern, engrained in my genetic makeup, that continues to play out.
A discussion commenced on my rejection of the over confident man. I told my guidance that I didn’t trust that my feelings were my own. I cited my completely open solar plexus specifically. A completely open center means the person has no defined way of taking in information so they end up taking it in based upon those who are defined or have channels/gates to that center. The solar plexus is the emotion center. Since mine is completely open, the emotion I feel is fluid and has no definition at all. I amplify the emotion of others instead. So their feelings feel to be mine, but they aren’t. I can become easily confused by this, thinking I feel one way only to have that feeling completely vanish when I am not in the vicinity of that person.
I told my guidance that I feel I have no real emotion because of this openness and they said otherwise. They asked me to think of how I feel when alone. I mostly just feel bored, but I do experience a wide range of feelings like anyone else. And if no one is near me, these feelings must originate from me. However, they can become what I think I should feel (Not-Self) based upon conditioning over the years, especially since I have a completely open head center. The completely open head center seeks to find meaning in everything. So I feel something and think, “It must mean ____” rather than just letting the feeling flow naturally without any conditions attached to it. Then I have a completely open heart center that causes me to feel no motivation or desire toward any one thing. So I think, “I feel ____ so it must mean ____ and I should do _____.” This is my mind and not my strategy and authority BTW.
Lots to think about. lol
Now wide awake with a persistent guide that continued to ask me to review the dream, it took me a while to return to sleep.
Dream: Male Escorts
It seems the dream lesson was meant to continue. This time, though, I found myself at my mom’s house and my old bedroom. I was feeling very sexual and wishing I had a partner but preferred one that came with no strings attached. My consideration was still that I needed to be very careful because the men I’ve been with in this life tend to latch on for dear life.
Again, I was talking to someone behind the scenes and a male escort was suggested because there would be no strings attached. I found an advertisement in a magazine and called the number. A man answered and I told him what I wanted, though I was somewhat embarrassed when I said it aloud.
Within moments three men were in my bedroom with me, yet I was still talking to the main one on the phone. I was hesitant yet again, arguing that I could easily pleasure myself. “I don’t need a man”, was what I said/thought. This mirrors my thoughts in real time, too, as my experiences with men has left me preferring to leave them out of the act altogether.
This is when the three men began to send me images of what they could do for me and began to sway my decision toward inviting them to join me. The overall message was “the more the better” in terms of pleasure.
I remember being more curious about one of the men over the other two. He was a normal looking man (no beard this time lol) and I didn’t recognize him but then there was something familiar about him. I seemed to know he was there for a reason and memories of other times I’ve had dream encounters came to mind. I met my heart connection in the dreamstate over a year before I met him online. And another connection came in my dreams beforehand, also. Both times there was recognition – Knowing – that the men were not just dream characters but an aspect of a living, breathing person visiting me. And in this dream that same recognition was present. This man exists somewhere in the world and is visiting my dreams. Whether he is conscious of it or not, I can’t say.
There was still a discussion on-going behind the scenes. It was about my attitudes and beliefs regarding sex; what is “good” and “bad”, etc. There was shame behind the sexual visuals I was receiving. Shame at how they made me feel because I have been conditioned to think of desire as “bad” and “sinful”. I remember thinking it important that protection be used and being reassured protection would be provided.
Eventually, I hung up the phone but not before the man I kept feeling drawn to asked me for my credit card information and address. I was concerned that he would misuse the info, but someone reassured me that he could be trusted, so I gave it. He looked at me in such a way as I began to panic a bit because I saw/felt something in him. It was a feeling I’ve had before from a dream encounter. It was an, “Oh no” feeling. Yet when he left, I had this urge to follow him.
I ended up outside my bedroom standing in the kitchen. I found some people having dinner together. One lady looked at me and asked me something but my attention was on the two young men with her. I saw one go out the front door. The other was at the table. The feeling I got was that I didn’t belong there and these people were suspicious of me. It is a feeling I am use to.
More Discussion
When I woke I was concerned about the man I met in my dream and still had that “uh oh” feeling. My guidance wanted to talk about something else, though.
The discussion shifted to my environment specifically. They said, “We want to help you with your space.” I received much more telepathically about what they meant. They indicated that I needed to feel safe in my space and reminded me of my Human Design environment – Markets-Internal. Though I have created my own space, I do not feel safe in it. I don’t feel I have much control over who enters or leaves it. On top of this, I rarely if ever invite anyone into my space. A person with Markets-Internal thrives when they have a space of their own and invite others into it, others with similar interests to their own. The space becomes a safe place where ideas and knowledge are exchanged.
I was immediately reminded of my place in Denton, the place where I first practiced as a Psychic/Medium. I lived there alone with my dog but the living area was arranged to create a space for me to give readings. I had many, many people come into my home and receive readings and healing from me. I also worked part-time from a spiritual shop and had my own little space there where people came to me for readings.
The thing is, I rarely invite people into my space, not socially anyway. I can’t see how inviting people would work for me anyway. As a Projector, my job is the wait to be invited, not initiate. Additionally, I am part Hermit, so I don’t like people in my space, at least not just any people. I have to know and trust them.
It is interesting, though, how all the right people and situations just came to me. This was because I was in the correct environment. I know that now. Invitations come more readily when in the correct environment.
It is obvious that I am not in the correct environment now.
My guidance told me, “Don’t worry. We will help you.” But I felt somewhat hopeless. A song came to mind, though, which feels like reassurance.
Messages: “Don’t give up” and you’ve “got stamina”. 😉
I continue to study Human Design. The more I learn, the more questions I have and the more I want to know. So, finally, I made an appointment for a Foundation Reading. It is on May 24th. I will share what I learn after my reading. Until then, I will continue my exploration and share what I find along the way. Currently, I am looking more deeply into attraction channels and what I have learned are known as the Kundalini channels. Pretty cool!
Sleep continues to be deep and dream-filled. Most of my dreams are odd and many mornings I wake up Knowing things that I didn’t know prior to bed. This Knowing is like a download of information that all points to one, single conclusion. These conclusions are related to my process and quite private, so I will leave them that way.
The below dream came this morning and I wanted to share it because a familiar symbol presented itself. I also felt very free and hopeful in this dream, something that doesn’t happen too often these days.
Dream: Conjunction of the Moon and Sun
The beginning of the dream I was in a large house with my husband and the kids. He was on the phone with a woman scheduling some activity for the kids. I got upset at him for this but he wouldn’t listen to me and kept making the appointment. I remember getting so upset that he wasn’t listening to me and I couldn’t stop him that I began to pinch his cheek really hard. Someone observing mentioned how it looked and I didn’t care. I was too upset. I realized in the dream that I was being shown a dynamic that needed to be seen. It wasn’t to shame me but to bring awareness.
The scene shifts. I assume I left on a walk. I was outside and saw it had snowed. It was a heavy, wet snow and already melting. Seeing the snow brought me joy and I put on some skate skis and took Monty for a walk. I got out my phone and took video of myself as I did this, sharing that I woke up and there was snow and I was going to enjoy it before it melted. I remember looking around me in awe of the serene beauty I found myself in. There is something peaceful and calm about freshly fallen snow.
As I took the video, I captured an amazing sight. I saw this golden glow in the sky beyond the trees. When I noticed it, I thought it was the sun it was so bright, but then a glorious full moon shown through the trees and clouds parted to reveal it in all its majesty. It was gigantic, like unnaturally large, taking up the entirety of my visual field. The colors on the video were breathtaking – yellows, oranges and pinks. It was a sunrise or sunset of unprecedented beauty!
I came to a hill and my skis began to slip underneath me as I put away my phone. I looked up to find the moon and it was hidden behind the trees but I could still see the magnificent colors in the sky around it. I climbed up the hill, pulling myself up with great effort. When I reached the top, the moon had risen higher but the sky was still very bright. The moon looked more normal. A white sphere in the sky.
I walked toward the house. On the porch, which was covered in melting snow, I ran into my mom who was asking me why I hadn’t taken her bags to be recycled at Wal-Mart. I told her I went for a walk and pointed to the sky. This is when I noticed the moon and the sun were in the sky at the same time. The sun was on the left and the moon was on the right. They were not touching, but close enough that it was very obvious what was happening. Their combined light was breathtaking. It created this white brilliance. I remember saying, “Good things are coming.” I was filled with hope and awe for what I felt was coming, but the specifics of this future event was not present. I recognized the sign I was being shown as I had seen it in many dreams before. The moon and sun in the sky, together and very close, meant a conjunction was coming, one where masculine and feminine energies blend together in Union.
I decided to continue and ski before the snow melted. I left the porch, going past a bunch of elderly people sitting and taking in the view. This part of the dream is full of this fun feeling as I skied so fast that I am surprised I didn’t fall. Monty chased after me as I went through field after field of snow. There was this chaser being chased feeling, a feeling of being a child again; care-free.
Eventually we came to a snow-covered playground. Monty ran into it and I slowed. Two people were clearing the area and preparing it for people. I heard a male voice say to the woman in front, “We have to get this cleared.”
I continued on but saw Monty did not come with me. I turned around and saw a man petting him. I went up to a wire gate and called Monty. The man looked up at me with a huge smile and commented on how friendly my dog was.
This is when the dream shifts and I am suddenly watching this blonde woman speaking to a group. She is saying thank you and telling them “I feel like I know you all!”. She is standing within a wired enclosure that resembles a giant cage.
Then the scene shifts again and I am laying in bed with my heart connection. I am laying on his left and on his right is another woman with dark hair. I am upset that he has this woman close to him. I want to be the only woman in his life. Yet he is holding us both equally as if he wants us to share him. My mind is reeling. I know that the connection he has with this other woman is older than the one he has with me. They have more history. Knowing this makes me feel uncertain and afraid of losing him to her. I don’t like the feeling. I think I will do anything to get her out of the picture, even kill this woman. This thought disturbs me.
As I begin to wake, a disturbing image comes to mind. It is a Golden Retriever chewing on the arm of a person who is still alive. I know she is being eaten alive and cringe. The woman does nothing. She just lays there and lets the dog eat her. I want to help her. I wake up.
When I wake up, a song is going through my mind:
Where are you now Where are you now Where are you now Where are you now
Take me home, I feel homesick I don’t know where I’m going Too many faces, but none I know And I’m alone on the subway home On the subway home
Interpretation
The first part of the dream seems only to show me something about myself. What I took from it was that I play a part in the disagreements that exist between myself and my husband. My anger at my inability to incite any kind of change overwhelms me and I fall into a negative pattern. The trigger seems to be feeling unheard.
The second part of the dream feels like a message related to a previous message I received about “after the snow melts”. Snow is symbolic of something unchanged; frozen. It often represents feelings that have gone “cold” or a sense of being stuck and unchanging. That the snow is melting is positive. Movement and change is coming; freedom. I am able to see the beauty in the snow and rather than succumbing to the cold/frozen feeling, I embrace it and ski. Skiing represents breezing through a difficult situation; feeling accomplished for surviving a difficult time.
The moon represents the feminine. That it is rising up and appears so big and beautiful is likely a symbol of my own feminine nature. Perhaps I will feel free to finally fully embody my feminine nature? The steep hill indicates a struggle but not a big one, since I easily reach the top.
I don’t know what the encounter with my mom symbolizes. The best I can figure is that she represents the “wise” version of myself. The recycling she has is likely representative of a time of regeneration. I need to rest and regenerate. the sun and moon in the sky brings me hope and I seem to know what it means. With this I enjoy myself until the dream shifts and I see a woman in a cage. Perhaps she is me? But then she seemed so happy to be in that cage!
The shift to being with my heart connection was unexpected. I believe it may be a warning of some past life tendency toward jealousy. Hopefully, I am not going to have to confront karma related to killing someone!
Finally, the vision of the woman being eaten alive. My guess is that it represents my situation. I am allowing someone or something to eat me alive. Golden Retrievers represent family ideals. Perhaps I am being “eaten alive” because I am loyal to my family/the idea of family? Ouch!
Lots to digest and process from this dream, that’s for sure!
Sleep didn’t come as easily last night. As soon as I got into bed I felt a strong energy from out in front of me and slightly to my left. Initially, when I sensed it, the energy felt urgent and I felt like jumping out of bed and acting on that urgency. This is when I questioned the energy and heard back, “We are here to help you” and sensed a very large group of Beings – the Council of 12 is what I have called them in the past. Though I felt tired and my eyes were heavy, when I attempted sleep I tossed and turned until just before midnight.
Dream Healing Experience
I found myself inside an apartment with a young, blonde man. I was questioning why I was there. He seemed nice enough and resembled someone I met back in 2015. I remember feeling extremely drowsy.
I sat down on the floor and propped myself up against a sofa. The young man plopped down next to me. As we talked, his energy was very calming and surrounded me in a kind of cocoon of energy. The energy was beautiful and caused my drowsiness to intensify. I discovered that I was this man’s roommate and the attention he paid me caused me to worry he might be interested in a relationship with me. He stayed very close, touching me at all times with some part of himself. His energy said, “It’s okay. You’re safe and loved. Talk to me”. I remember thinking, “He’s like me” and being relieved but my eyes were so heavy and all I wanted to do was rest for a bit. I told him this but he continued to hover. I closed my eyes, enjoying his energy, and he began to shower me with kisses all over my face. I told him I just wanted to lay there with him and asked him if he could hold me. He appeared to do this and for a brief period I surrendered to the amazing comfort and safety of his arms.
Then, suddenly, a strange woman wearing a long dress was standing in the doorway to the apartment. She had long, wavy, dark hair and a serious look on her face. The young man jumped up in a hurry and told me he had to go to work. He was wearing khaki pants and a matching shirt as he left through the front door. The door was odd, though. It was not solid and seemed to be made of a thick mat of beads or a similar material. I stood as he closed the door. It didn’t shut completely and he returned to push it into place.
Seeing it was morning and I was all alone in a new place, I began to investigate my new home. As I looked around I was thinking of my situation. I knew I had lost my job. In my mind I was mulling over all my previous jobs and remember feeling as if someone suggested a previous employer as an option. There was no concern or worry about my situation. I seemed to just accept it.
I sat down at the kitchen table and was surprised by an young Asian woman. She was drinking a soda (happy, upbeat attitude) and I noticed I had one, too. I asked her name and she gave me a name that didn’t make sense, so I asked her what her family called her. She told me she couldn’t tell me. In talking with her, I soon learned the apartment was much larger than it seemed and at least eight others lived in it. These others began coming into the kitchen at this time but I only recall four or five of them, some male, some female. The Asian woman asked me if I was going to drink my soda. When I said I wasn’t, she asked if she could have it and when I agreed she took it eagerly.
I took a closer look at the kitchen. I had this empty feeling and I felt like I needed to fill it with something, food maybe. There were groceries all over the countertops but it was mostly loaves of bread (basic needs in life). I briefly mentioned they must like bread as I thought that I would certainly have to go shopping for more foods items because bread alone wouldn’t suffice. Then I asked if they had a coffee maker. The Asian woman said they did. I asked if anyone drank coffee (seeking more awareness), she said she would but only with a certain kind of creamer. I took note of this as an item to add to my shopping list.
Throughout all this I was conversing with them about my situation. I mentioned that I was paid $250/week and this information seemed off. I didn’t become lucid in the dream, though. All at once I realized that I had lost everything – my job, my house, my family, my identity even. My reaction to this was shock and an expansion of the empty feeling I had previously. There was a brief panic at not knowing what to do.
The next thing I know, I am standing outside the door to the apartment. I don’t know how I got there but it felt like I’d been kicked out. Feeling abandoned and alone, I began to wander the streets aimlessly.
I came to a busy area where people were walking about or sitting at tables. I saw some guys attempting to bully a young, nerdy guy into handing over his valuables. I walked up to them and slipped my hand into his pocket and retrieved a wad of money. The bullies had in their hand a folder and were looking through it. One mentioned how good I was as a pickpocket. The other, holding the folder, pulled out some sheet music and then put it back inside. I turned to the nerd who was standing there in shock. I asked his name and he gave me a name that started with a “V”. Somehow I knew he was a musician. I felt bad for him and ashamed at myself for taking his money but I needed the money. I had to eat.
As I walked away, I turned to see the crowded space of people of all ages and races. I noticed something was off and went to investigate. I found a young black mother and her daughter, both dead, sitting at one of the tables. The daughter had her throat cut from her neck all the way down to the middle of her chest. I look around and saw no one there even noticed. They were all too busy. I went up to the dead mother and daughter. I placed their bodies next to one another on the floor, wrapping the daughter in her mother’s arms. Then I pulled a blanket up and around them, covering them completely.
In this moment I am transported back to the apartment. All of the roommates are there hovering around me as I stand at the entrance. It is similar to another dream I had recently. I feel like a child, very naïve. For some reason I excitedly announced that I learned one could find food by looking for the trucks “with the light”.
Sudden realization hit me. I thought, “I’m acting like a child.” And as soon as the thought hit me, I burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably.
What I recall of this moment is my thoughts and the feeling from the group that surrounded me. My main thought was the world is a horrible place full of self-serving individuals. I am reminded of the dead mother and daughter and how no one even noticed or tried to help, caught up in their own life dramas. I thought of how those bullies took advantage of the nerd. Again, self-serving behavior. I was both horrified and shocked by what I experienced. The feeing was there was no hope for this planet or the people on it.
I remember pausing for a moment. My tears stopped and I looked at the people standing around me. When I felt their energy and support, I burst into tears again.
The feeling from those who surrounded me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I felt wrapped in a bubble or cocoon of energy. I remember thinking, “They are like me”, and recognizing they were somehow directing or manipulating the energy, my energy. I thought they must be reflecting my own energy back at me or something, but this didn’t seem right. The feeling of being in the cocoon was the most wonderful, safe, feeling I’ve ever had. I could be completely open and vulnerable. I could be myself without worry of judgement or expectation. I realized that being this way is all I’ve ever wanted but because I sense how people truly are, I’ve never met anyone I can be 100% myself with. It was such a relief to finally let go.
As I began to wake up from the dream, I could hear soft music accompanying my tears.
After Waking
When I woke I was sobbing, the kind of sobbing where I can’t breathe. Even when I stopped, the tears would seep out unexpectedly. I realized how trapped I feel in this world. Abandoned. Alone.
I remember that during the dream someone was talking to me about certain people in my life, people I would rather not be around and so avoid. When asked if I would reconsider, I felt into their energy and could not tolerate it. My reply was, “No”. Then I said, “I’m with the wrong people (in my life)”. The people I should be around should make me feel like the roommates in my dream.
As I lay in the in-between I remember catching pieces of a conversation. What is funny is that whenever I tried to focus on what was being said, it would instantly be lost to me. I was told it was purposeful, and I understood. The feeling of it was enough. I remember Knowing that difficult times were ahead, similar to the situation I found myself in during the dream. A feeling of all being lost. The dream served as a warning of this but also a message that I would find my people, people who “are like me”. What that means, I don’t know exactly. In the dream I remember thinking they must be Projectors or Reflectors (HD) because of how their energy felt. I didn’t feel like my own energy was being sucked dry; depleted. It was such a relief.
I questioned my guidance regarding the music that was playing. It was was like a scene from a movie and I knew I should find some humor in it, but I didn’t. Soon enough, though, another song came to mind: “Well you look like yourself but you’re somebody else only it ain’t on the surface. Well you talk like yourself but I hear someone else and now you’re making me nervous.” I understood my guidance was letting me know their concern.
This is the whole song:
I wrote the above portion of this post early this morning and came back to it now (mid-day) because the feeling from my dream returned briefly and brought on more tears. It feels like whatever is going on isn’t over. There is a sense of something big, or an “uh-oh” type feeling of anticipation.
Woke up this morning realizing that I am probably done with the spiritual work of my past. Meaning, I’m most likely never going to do readings or mediumship or medical intuition or any of those things to the extent that I did before I got married. Other, younger individuals, are taking up those reigns. They are the ones receiving the communication and having the expansive experiences now. It kinda made me sad to think of it but then I know this is part of the cycle.
There is a super moon right now and I had hoped for some experiences in my sleep. Kundalini would’ve been nice. A trip OOB like I use to have, visiting ETs, other worlds and living/breathing space ships would have been good, too. Nope. I just had a dream where I was outside, climbing in a tree telling my husband I am going to quit school and watching cars drive at night without headlights. WTF? lol
I know my guidance advised me not to look too much into my dreams, but here it is anyway:
Dream: Quitting School
I find myself suddenly standing outside the elementary school I attended in 5th grade. I am at the back of a line of young students, about five to ten feet from the group. A teacher is asking them to be quiet and fix the line. She is making threats like, “We will stand here until you can listen, even if it takes all day” and “Everyone get five others to follow directions”. The kids are trying to stand in a straight line but they are struggling. Some want to wander, others are just not understanding what “straight” means, and still aren’t listening because they are talking to their friends or just distracted by the world around them.
As I watch, I recall being the student and the teacher and going through this routine. I wonder, “Why is it so important that the line be straight and the kids don’t talk?” I think how the new generations will challenge those who attempt to get them to do things that make no actual sense and serve no other purpose than to force them into submission.
As I am standing in line, I am able to see and experience the scene from all perspectives. I have 360 degree vision. As a result, I turn and face myself, zooming in on my body standing there observing. I realize I am wearing my night shirt and long pants. I return to my own perspective feeling a bit confused and worried that I am not properly dressed. I think I should ask the teacher, “Do you have a school shirt I could wear?” But I don’t ask. Instead, it feels like an outside force pulls me back out to take another look at myself. My visual field is focused as if looking through a telescopic lens. It zooms in on the front of my t-shirt where a large rose is centered over my chest. I am reminded of a similar occurrence the night before where this rose was illuminated. I feel/Know it is a message.
The scene shifts. I am in a void but recall talking to my husband or someone who feels like him. I recognize that I am attending school a second time around and, as is a common theme in my dreams, I protest this because I have already graduated. I think (or maybe it is suggested) perhaps I could learn something new by retaking all my classes? I recognize this is possible because I always find more info on second, third and even forth reviews of subject material. The possibilities are infinite.
Then I find myself in front of my house. It is early morning and still dark. I hear and then see my husband across the street. He has our dog, Monty, and is crossing the street to get a ball. Our neighbor is a bit down the road and out of sight walking her own dog. The ball is hers. I yell to my husband to be careful of cars and to not draw her dog out into the street.
This is when I realize I am up in a tree. It is a small tree with thin branches standing no more than eight feet high. I am observing the scene from the tree and realize the conversation about school is on-going as the scene unfolds. I tell my husband (or someone who feels to be with me), “I’ve decided to quit school. There is no point in redoing all the coursework when I’ve already graduated. I can just stop attending, so I’m done.” When I say this I feel freed of the conditions I’ve found myself in. I realize it is my choice and no one can force me to go to school. I briefly imagine the scene at the beginning of the dream where the children are in line. I imagine myself saying to the kids, “You don’t have to stand in line. Come with me this way!” and then inviting them to follow me off to explore and be free.
I climb down the tree as I say this and watch as a car drives down the road toward my husband. It’s headlights are off so it is nearly impossible to see the car. I yell a warning and see another car coming from the opposite direction. Again, it’s headlights are off. I walk toward the edge of our yard. My neighbor is walking to her house with her dog. I say, “Why don’t they have their headlights on? It is still dark.” She says something like, “Yeah, I know!”
My lucidity peaks at this point and I wake up.
Considerations
Upon waking I was feeling very disappointed and depressed. The realizations I wrote at the beginning of this post came to me. It feels like it is all over – like my work is done. I don’t see the point of continuing in this life and body as I cannot see or even feel what path I would take.
As I was thinking this, I felt a pull toward my guidance and felt all at once to be receiving large quantities of information but there were no words. Whatever I was told, though, caused me to calm down and surrender. I felt relieved, but I don’t know why. Then I heard the word “timing” and “patience”. I responded that I am tired of waiting. It seems like that is all I ever do.
Interpretation
When I’ve dreamed of quitting school in the past, I always thought it meant that I am asking to leave this life and return Home. Since I’ve had this dream so many times in the past, I Googled the symbolism again in case I am missing something. The dream meaning of quitting school is this:
If you dream of leaving school, then this indicates there is going to be an improvement in your living conditions or home life going forward. Our attitude to our work ethic and life in general is formed whilst at school, which, in most cases sets out rules and various moral values which help us move forward in life.
I didn’t actually leave school in my dream, so it is an indicator that I am approaching a crossroads situation. My guidance told me I am being “calibrated”. I’ve been told this in the past. It means I am being prepared for something to come. The suggestion about learning through repeating school is that there is always something new to learn.
The part of the dream where I am watching the children in line feels to me to represent my time “on the roof”. In HD this is the period in which the 6th line observes. What I see is that society is stuck in the old ways. The souls arriving now will not conform to the old “rules” and expectations. I see that change is a requirement. The fact that I imagine “freeing” the children and allowing them to explore and uniquely express themselves is a positive sign. I have recognize what is needed and am willing to assist. As a 6th line, the whole end result is to step into being a Role Model. Perhaps my role has to do with children – or at least the younger generations who are going through their own awakenings at this time?
The focus on the rose on my chest is interesting. My first thought is this is asking me to listen to my HS (G center), which in HD is my authority.
The rose is a symbol of the entirety, the higher spiritual world order. When you dream about a rose this usually represents love in some fashion but it can also represent fertility, admiration, rebirth and fidelity. The color of the rose also has a special meaning in your dreams. Red roses are most often for love and romance…..pink roses indicate unexpected help.
The rose on my shirt is mostly pink with yellow and orange. A rose in full bloom symbolizes rebirth.
Climbing or being in a tree indicates that I have reached a period in my life where I am experiencing the “height” of my career or success. It does coincide with my family’s affluence at this time so that makes sense to me.
The headlights being off on the cars as I watch from a distance are yet another indicator that I am able to perceive what others cannot or will not. The symbolism of no headlights is that an objective view will be reached but it will come with limitations (can’t see far ahead). In the dream there is just enough light to see the cars and surroundings but the low light prohibits clarity.
Tired
I’ve been more tired than usual. I sleep deeply and struggle to wake up. Opening my eyes is a chore. It feels like a heavy weight is pulling them closed. Once I get up, though, I am fine until the evening. Then, the heavy feeling returns and I often end up in bed before 10pm because I just can’t keep my eyes open.
I’ve been taking it easy when it comes to exercise. I am usually very active with at least 2+ hours of physical activity of some kind five days a week. With my recent illness (cold/allergies) and fatigue, I decided to take some time off. Today, however, I felt like exercising so I went for a mile run followed by a bodyweight circuit. Ugh! Well, my body said “Hell no”. lol I still completed everything but not without needing more rest than usual.
Sometimes listening to my body is a loss for me. I am use to powering through tiredness and lack of motivation and coming out feeling wonderful in the end (endorphins). But lately I just want to take it easy, go for walks or do yoga. It likely goes along with the “calibration” my guides mentioned. There is definitely something going on. I can feel it, especially at night and when I wake in the mornings. So I am going to do my best to listen.
Something that crossed my mind this morning was that I should probably shift back toward eating less meat and more veggies – so vegetarian/pescatarian. When I wonder why this is, it feels like meat contributes to a sluggishness in my energy. It does take longer to digest meat and the energy signature of most meats has never agreed with me. Whether I will do this long-term or not is yet to be decided. I think I will just start with trying to eat less meat and go from there. I think combining this change in diet with less strenuous exercise may be just what I need.
What is Spiritual Calibration?
I finished writing this post and then a thought came to me: What if readers aren’t sure what I mean when I say “calibration”? I thought, “Sure they know. It means I am being prepared to take in more Light.” But the feeling I got back was, “Are you sure?” So, since I’m not sure, I will provide a reference for you since I cannot post any part of it here (copyright reasons) – Spiritual Calibration. Go to paragraph 13 if you want to get straight to the info.
Basically, the channeled information says that spiritual calibration is a preparation of our Earth energy body to accept energy from “higher” sources. Higher in this instance really means of a “higher vibration”, not necessarily indicating direction.
So what exactly is happening to us/our energy bodies/physical bodies during calibration/re-calibration? The specifics are not given to me but I know very well how it feels to experience it. All of the above physical symptoms are usual for me. What I understand is happening is that my energy body is getting an upgrade. A new version of my energy body is being brought online. This version will be better able to receive and process the incoming energy so that I won’t suffer any physical or mental side-effects. The fact that I am experiencing the deep sleep, fatigue and slowing down in itself indicates my system is “offline” right now. It won’t be this way for long, just long enough to complete the calibration process.
About 90% if those who previously received upgrades are getting another one right now. So if you’re feeling like me, just listen to your body, take it easy and enjoy some rest. If you don’t, you could end with worse symptoms. Panic attacks are my “you’re doing too much” sign. <— NOT fun!
Unexpected Kundalini surprise in a dream this morning. It’s the first time in a long while that I’ve felt good upon waking.
But first another short dream, one where I see my grandmother.
Dream: Wrinkled
This dream is fuzzy now but when I had it, it was quite vivid.
I am outside near my grandparent’s chicken coup and rabbit hutches. It is dark and the scene seems to shift between being outside to a dark room. My grandmother is with me and when I realize it is her I apologize to her for having her run so much. In my mind I am seeing my grandmother sprinting across the yard. It feels like I am training her to help her lose weight and get in shape. I mention to her that she was 82 at the time and probably too old to be running. She reassures me that I did not cause her death. I feel somewhat better.
The conversation shifts to old age and wrinkles. My grandmother mentions how old and wrinkled her face got as she aged. I see her face clearly, remembering fondly how beautiful she was. I tell her that I think her wrinkles are beautiful. They come from smiling and singing. I trace the smile lines around her cheeks and say the singing wrinkles are the most beautiful to me.
Message
I woke up remembering my grandmother and considering the messages in the dream. A whisper of a question came to me, “How long has it been since you last sang?” I knew the answer was, “Too long.”
The messages, hidden in symbolism in the first part, seem to point to out how I am fighting a losing battle. Trying to outrun old age doesn’t work. It finds us all. Getting older can be a beautiful thing. It feels like she was suggesting that I will “run” myself to death if I continue in the direction I am going. She, herself, did similar. The suggestion is to focus on “smiling” and “singing”, which to me means doing the things that bring me joy. Singing is one of them. I don’t smile or sing very much these days.
The dream comes after I told my personal trainer I need to take a break. For two weeks I am going to take it easy. After that I will start back on training, hopefully with a new mindset. I struggle with the idea of stopping altogether because I know that I need to keep my body healthy and exercise is the way to go. However, too much and with the wrong goal in mind, will not make me happy. Love for one’s body doesn’t mean forcing it to look a particular way, it means listening to it, down to a cellular level even, in order to better gauge what it needs.
Kundalini Dream: That’s Not the Problem
The dream begins with my return from a vacation with my family. We arrive at a classroom (life lesson). It resembles an elementary classroom. My memory of where I was is not accessible. All I recall is a plane followed by being at the classroom door. There is also memory of parting ways with someone, a man who accompanies me.
The man, who I can’t see but is standing behind me, asks me a question before I enter the classroom. He asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to come to the library (to seek wisdom) with me?” When he asks me, I recognize the time is 4pm and that he is suggesting I skip school and go with him. I tell him I need to go but don’t speak any words. He sends me a feeling of, “Okay, your loss” and leaves. His general energy is positive and somewhat amused, like he is saying, “I told you so”, in advance.
When I walk into the classroom it is very full. All the desks have young students in them and a female teacher is at the front. I ask the teacher what is going on, why is my desk occupied? She tells me they are playing a game and points to the back of the classroom. She says, “You can sit there.” I see what looks like an upside down bucket (self-restraint). I think, “She wants me to sit on that?” I feel insulted but don’t argue. I look at the floor as I walk to the back of the room and sit in the makeshift “desk”.
I observe the “game” for a while from the back of the classroom. It appears the students are enjoying themselves but I can’t remember any specifics about the game except that students would walk down the isles of desks one at a time.
Looking around me, I see clothes hanging from hooks above my head. It reminds me of a souvenir shop. I see t-shirts and tank tops with various messages written on them. I decide I want one, because, why not? But I can’t see any I like.
Meanwhile, the students are all very immersed in their game. I am invited to take part but decline the invitation. I am just not interested in playing. The sense I get here is that I don’t belong and is similar to how I often feel in life. I watch people “playing the game” all around me but rarely, if ever, participate.
Then I get a text message on my phone. When I look at who sent it, I realize it is the man who dropped me at the classroom door. I think, “Why is he texting me?” The sense is that this man is just an acquaintance and not someone who would communicate with me outside of work hours.
When I read the text I instantly realize this man is much more than he seems to be. The text itself is lost to me (which is disappointing!) but the feeling I get as I read it is very vivid. He tells me that what I am doing is not working and gives me a synopsis of my current life issues. The issues involve my current relationship specifically. I do, however, remember the last thing he said, which was, “But that’s not the problem.”
As I read his text, my heart chakra exploded with bliss, feeling to open up to the point that it extended all the way to my feet. I instantly knew the man’s intentions. It was a complete surprise, totally unexpected. I had no resistance whatsoever. If there was any, it melted away. All I wanted to do was respond to his invitation with a “YES”.
Let It Happen
Before I could ask him to elaborate on what he said, I woke up, heart still expanded and bliss pouring through my body. I was thinking, “Tell me what the problem is” as I woke and I was a bit miffed at myself for waking up before I could get an answer. I knew there wouldn’t be one. I would be left hanging, but I didn’t care. I was too caught up in the heart bliss. Oh how I’ve missed it!!
I remember thinking to myself, this (the heart bliss) is what I’ve been missing. I can have all the orgasmic, erotic, tantalizing Kundalini one can imagine, but without the heart bliss, it will always be lacking. Without the heart, the merging of Heaven and Earth cannot – WILL NOT – happen.
To my surprise, the heart bliss remained for a long while after (at least an hour) and I dipped into the in-between where I communicated with the man in my dream who sent the text message. Whether he is a guide, a person, or both, I can’t say. We talked. My mind was going all over the place, questioning what this experience meant and wondering if there would be more. What I heard in response was, “Just let it happen”. Ha! Just like the song I wrote about here.
A chorus of a song was going through my mind while I lay there floating in bliss. This is the part I recall:
Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind
The more you say, the less I know wherever you stray, I follow I’m begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that’s my man
When I finally got out of bed for the day, I had a slight pulling in the left side of my chest. It wasn’t painful but it was enough that I knew a block had been released, or was releasing. This isn’t really much of a surprise because I have been so emotional lately. I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing some heavy duty clearing work in my sleep. Another song was going through my head as I got out of bed. It repeated:
And I want you to unravel me (but I heard “Remember me”) Come closer, come closer……
Happy Spring Equinox! It has been one hell of a week! The energy put me into a pretty sour mood, especially in the mornings. My sleep was awful and I had a tendency to focus on the negatives, especially relating to planet Earth. I am thankful for the energies that came in with the Equinox.
After about a week of sleep issues, I finally slept well last night. Turns out there was a solar flare most of yesterday and through the night. Along with good sleep I had Kundalini dreams all night long. Where one left off, another began. All the dreams involved a man I am familiar with as well as a guide.
Dream: Profess[or] Love[r]
The start of this dream is hazy but as lucidity increased, so does my memory.
What I recall most is that I was in correspondence with a man I recognized and know from this lifetime. Some time had passed between our last email/letter and this was my main concern as I had not intended it. I remember feeling as if I was on a college campus and knowing this man was a professor. I don’t know if he was my teacher or if it was just his job, or both.
We talked a bit but there was distance between us that was too far to actually have a conversation. My feeling of this communication was that it was meant to represent communication over time and space – communication between our higher aspects.
Then we were together in a room that felt, again, like it was located at a college or university. The space was dimly lit and colored with various brown tones. It felt like a study or an office but also similar to a small dorm room.
When we finally met up the feeling I had was of relief and reunion. I don’t remember if he spoke to me. I do recall that I had apologized for letting so much time pass and the delay it caused. When we got close our combined energy was intoxicating, rising and falling in waves of ecstasy, climbing higher and higher. The closer we got, the more intense our combined energy. My immediate reaction was to surrender completely to it.
Eventually my friend disengaged saying he had to be somewhere. We went our separate ways. He went one way and I went in the opposite direction. Eventually, though, we ended up back together, both of us unable to find our rooms. We stood in front of a room. The number near the entrance was #3 but the room was not the right room. As the dream began to fade out the last thing I remember was that he said to me that we must be in a different time (I think I remember the term “time warp”) so the room was not the one we remembered.
As I woke the Kundalini energy was very strong. I am not sure how the intensity of it didn’t wake me during the dream! I lay in bed relishing it. It was intensely strong in my root and heart chakras but prior to it settling there it had circulated completely from root to crown. Sadly, I only barely recall the full cycling of the energy. I believe it was purposefully muted and for that I am grateful because when I have been fully conscious of it in the past the intensity of it has been scary.
A guide was close by. He asked me, “How do you feel?” I said, “I want to go back.” There was some discussion here. He reminded me to take it slowly and said, “We are helping you.”
Dream: Little Fires Everywhere
Somehow I returned to sleep and entered into another dream. I was sitting on a sofa in my grandparent’s underground home. The TV was in front of me but I was not watching it because the man from my previous dream was sitting on my left about four feet away from me on the opposite end of the sofa. It felt like we just hanging out and watching TV. I was almost fully lucid but not enough to take control of the dream. I don’t think I would have taken control if I could have, though.
I could see him quite clearly and knew who he was. We were talking, but sadly I have no clue about what. All I remember was that his energy was very difficult to resist. It was calling to me in a very seductive way. My guide was close by and I was talking to him in my mind about the energy and how difficult it was for me to endure as I sat there.
What I recall here is the Kundalini rushing through me. It erupted violently from my root and shot all the way up to my crown. Then it would settled some only to repeat with even more intensity. With each wave I gripped the sofa so hard that had it been a real sofa I surely would have destroyed the arm rest. Interestingly, I never felt like I was going to die from the energy. I surrendered completely to it. I couldn’t help but surrender. It was compulsory and there was nothing – nothing at all – I could do but allow it.
While the energy was taking me over I could hear and communicate with my friend telepathically. All I remember saying to him was, “I love you.” But something about this profession of love felt as compulsory as the energy itself. So, I questioned it. Do I love him? Is it my love I am feeling? Or is it memory of some other time and love?
My friend just sat next to me seemingly completely at ease with our combined energy. I tried to stay there with him. I wanted to stay there, but I couldn’t, not without embracing him fully. For some reason I resisted the urge to go to him, though. My resistance resulted in much discomfort.
Eventually I told him, “I can’t take it anymore. It’s just too much.” Not long after I said this my friend disappeared completely.
I decided I would walk to my mom’s house. I went outside and walked up the road. I noticed there were small piles of burning brush dotting the land. I concluded that someone must be clearing the land, something we often have to do in the country. Part way up the road I encountered a mulching machine that was turned on. A large branch was stuck in it and the mulcher was making a horrid noise. Worried it would explode, I turned the machine off. The “off” switch was very vivid in my mind.
As I continued to walk up the road I was suddenly not alone. A man was walking with me on my right. I knew he was my guide. He was tall and had blonde hair. His energy was familiar. I remember we were discussing what was happening to me – the Kundalini, the man, the process. He was asking me what I thought of the man, of our energy and our path. I only remember saying that I wanted to experience more of the energy. It was all I wanted, actually. The internal Call I felt was strong. There was/is no doubt in my mind I am suppose to follow it.
The last thing I remember saying to my guide is, “There are little fires everywhere.” It was just an observation and had no emotion attached to it. My guide acknowledged my statement as if to say, “Yes, there are.”
The Shadow Self
I came out of the dream and entered the in-between where I could still feel the residual energy. My guide was close and I remember him reminding me that the process cannot be rushed. Through our conversation I was asked to inspect my fear response to the intense energy I experienced in the dream and also at other times. The resulting understanding was that it represented my Shadow, or a hidden aspect often associated with something not very good, or “bad”. When my energy combines with my friend’s it brings attention to the Shadow somehow and so my response is fear and I withdraw. More than likely the reality is that this Shadow aspect is not as imposing as it seems. It is just deeply hidden.
Then, very distinctly, I heard the word, “Almandine”.
Then I was reminded that destruction was coming. Destruction of what? I am not sure but I have been warned of this before, last October.
I woke repeating the word “Almandine” and not knowing what it meant. I thought at first it was a sauce for cooking but soon learned it is a crystal. Usually when I am given the name of a crystal it is a way to suggest I add it to my collection.
Considerations
My fear reaction to the intense energy of the Kundalini is familiar to me. Early on in my experiences with the Kundalini I responded with great fear. It presented itself slowly during dreamtime, always pursuing me, and each time I completely freaked out. When it would present itself I felt a compulsion to go to it, to surrender to it. I felt completely unable to control myself. This feeling of lack of control and the unknown it represented was what sent me running the other way. It felt horribly “evil” while at the same time the energy was intoxicatingly beautiful and pure. The contradiction was confusing. How can something be so beautiful yet so ugly at the same time? It was a paradox.
Eventually, I surrendered in dreamtime. I gave up after being pursued for what seemed like forever. I realized I could not outrun the Kundalini and so let it devour me. It was magnificent in the end. The most amazing experience I have ever had in this body.
Now, when I feel the Kundalini, my response is the same. After years of surrender it makes no sense. Why, after all this time, am I again afraid of the Kundalini? And why is this particular person the instigator? Is it karmic? Or is it something else? I feel fear, but it is irrational. It is the fear of death, of becoming nothing. Ah, yes, “destruction”, now that word makes sense. To be born anew, the old must die.
Yet, didn’t I already experienced death from this process? How many times does one have to “die”, I wonder? lol
Dream Symbolism
In the first dream I am at a college/university which represents a life lesson or lessons. My friend is seen as a teacher or guide, so it could be that I see him this way or it could be that he is merely helping me with this life lesson. The search for the room is interesting and I am not sure what the “time warp” part means. Whatever the meaning, we end up parting ways only to come full circle to the same place. The feeling in the dream is that no matter what our individual paths, the destination is the same for us both.
The symbolism of the last dream is fitting. The underground house represents the subconscious or what is hidden. My grandparents actually do have a house that is under the ground and I spent much of you youth visiting there. It is also attached to my family’s land and my mother’s home. So, for me, being in the space indicates a sense of home, so also Home. It is comfortable and safe. Watching the TV is likely an indicator of becoming the observer.
The clearing of the land is the work of the Kundalini. It clears blockages; a cleansing fire. The little fires everywhere are areas that are being cleansed or have already been cleansed. They are contained and small, but they are burning. Fire = the Kundalini.
The mulch machine is an interesting symbol. My best guess is that it is my attempt to turn off the process out of fear that I will explode or be destroyed. Still, though, the fires burn.
Note: Prior to bed I had two syncs that forewarned me of what was to come during the night. First, I had done a voice search of a certain item for my food journal. I had said “Burger” but the word that appeared was nothing at all close to it. It was, instead, my dream friend’s name, clear as day. I paused, took a screen shot in case I was seeing things, and then edited my search to the correct word.
About an hour later I was watching a video and there was the name again. So clear. And next to it another name that was related. WTF? I took another screen shot, told my guides to knock it off and went to bed. LOL
For the second time this year (first was in January) we are seeing snow accumulation in the Austin area. This isn’t just any accumulation either! In my back yard alone I measured 5 inches but the average for the area is 4-8 inches!
I woke around midnight and that is when I first saw the mini-blizzard outside. Snow coming down hard. Wind blowing the snow in circles and sideways. Frigid temperatures not often seen this far South.
I had to go outside and experience it for myself. Just watching it from inside wasn’t going to do. Wearing my pajamas with snow boots and heavy coat, I went out in the storm. The snow was already drifting, nearly freezing the front door shut. I stood in the middle of the street, which was barely recognizable, and just stood there experiencing the rare event, an event that may never recur in my lifetime. The snow swirled around me and the wind whipped snow into my face over and over again. The word “blizzard” came to mind followed by “white out”. No way this could be happening! I must have entered an alternate reality!
I took pictures and video, my hands turning red and then hurting indicating I should go inside and warm up. Once I did, I went back out and walked up to the main road and looked in the distance at the bigger, 4-lane road ahead. A car flew by and I thought, “Who the hell is driving at 1am in these conditions?” Surely the road would be shut down? Apparently not!
Pictures I took at around 1am CST. I would post a video but I can’t. If you follow me on Instagram you can see the “blizzard” video I took, though:
When I finally went back to bed, I couldn’t sleep. I was too excited and my mind was all over the place. It took me until around 4am to fall asleep.
Dream: Wearing a Dead Body
I was in a school (lessons) setting with others like myself. I reported to the lab where others were working on their lab assignments. Lab tables were scattered about the room but they looked like operating tables (healing environment). I remember discussing my situation with someone there. A visual comes to mind of someone taking an oversized dildo and sticking it into a corpse’s vagina. The message was that it was ill advised to do such a thing because it would rupture the body (could be about forcing the Kundalini energy).
I ended up going up to my teacher and asking for a key to her classroom but I called it a bathroom. I went inside to use the toilet (relief sought) but was interrupted when a man came in. I was startled and said, “I should have locked the door.” He went about his business as I sat there in shock, struggling to put my underwear (private matter) back on. The underwear was stained with blood that was a very dark red, almost black. I was trying to hide it because I knew it meant that my body was dying or already dead. I had tried to insert something into my vagina to see if it would rupture and the blood indicated it would. It indicated my body was dying or already dead.
When I went to join the others I remember feeling very awkward and knowing I was inhabiting a dead body. It would not last long and I was worried about what would happen when I was forced to discard it, or “drop” it. I remember a woman was with me attempting to calm me as we walked together to the gymnasium where others in my group were already training.
When I got into the school gymnasium (preparing to put experience to use) I saw others wearing white shorts and shirts doing plyometrics and stretching. I was asking the woman what would happen when I dropped my already dead body. It felt like wearing a heavy, uncomfortable suit. She said, “Don’t worry, you’ll know what to do.” I remember knowing that once I dropped it, I would feel free; unburdened. At this point I remember thinking that I was possibly being shown what will happen when I die. I was not discouraged by this or afraid. Instead I was hopeful. Perhaps I am being prepared to exit this life? Perhaps I am going to get what I have been asking for most of this lifetime?
The last thing I recall is seeing a large graphic placed in front of me. It was in full color and there were symbols and pictures of recognizable human items and activities on it. Someone said to me, “25 days” and it felt like this was when I would “drop” my body. As I woke, my lower back was aching and I could feel energy in my second chakra.
Note: Dropping my body is likely not physical death but referring to an upgrade where I discard an energetic body that is no longer functional or doing me any good. In it’s place I am given a new energetic body, one that functions as it is meant to and assist me in my life journey.
Message: Reset
When I woke I was worrying that the songs Collide and Crash Into Me could be forewarning an actual collision that could cause physical harm – like a car accident. The dream may have been the result of my worry or the cause of it, but I can’t say for sure. I was still in the in-between and hearing my guides, though their words are mostly lost to me. I do recall hearing them say the word “reset” as an explanation of the present moment.
When I went out to greet the newly fallen snow, the word “reset” was repeated. It felt like the message was not just about me. The world is also experiencing a kind of reset.
The message, “Reset”, is not a new one. In fact, I have heard it at least three times before this one. Here is a post where I discuss the reset message and what I think it means. This post was the last time I write about the reset message – 2017.
My best guess at the time is that a reset is a clearing of all of the chakras, either all at once or individually. Based upon my own personal experience, these resets usually involve a major Kundalini rising event that effectively clears blockages all at once. Like a giant tidal wave of energy that pours through me and washes me clean from the inside. Considering my dream is about my second chakra, perhaps I will finally clear the stubborn blockages that have led me so often to feel dead, unmotivated and lacking desire?
If the reset is also about the world, then maybe the entire world will be going through a kind of reset, too? If this is the case then we need to be prepared because resets are never easy on the physical body. My guess is the “physical body” of the world is being affected; thus, the Earth itself is being reset. What will this look like? Well, maybe blizzard conditions in Texas is part of it? Twice in one year is unheard of in itself but the sheer amount of snow is very unusual. Add to that the very real possibility that this snow will be added to on Wednesday with temperatures remaining at and below freezing all week. Well, damn.
I know, also, that there are some who say the Earth has chakras and they are at set locations around the globe. Here is one such article describing the Earth’s chakras with a map of their locations. It is possible that the reset will be noticeable in these locations. How? I’m not sure but I would think that if one looks to how the human body reacts to the cleansing Kundalini then you can get an idea of how the Earth will respond. My first thought is weather patterns, like we are already seeing – fires, floods, increases in tornadoes, hurricanes, blizzards and extreme temperature fluctuations. Then, of course, earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic activity. Mass extinction events may also arise. The Covid-19 virus and variants are also a likely result. All are an attempt by planet Earth to rebalance itself. Reset.
What can you do about it? Breathe. Listen to your body. Listen to your heart. Allow yourself to reset; come into balance. Every one of us who successfully resets is assisting planet Earth and the Collective.
I was at work. One of my coworkers was talking to me about a new vendor. This part if very general and hard to recall, though.
Then I was following him home. He had a roommate but they were “just friends”. Inside his home I remember sitting with someone discussing a remedy for head lice (feeling dirty, stress, guilt). Some people were infested while others weren’t. Those who weren’t needed to protect themselves. I saw someone wearing a plastic cap but knew it was risky because they all lived in close proximity.
The woman handed me a tincture. It was a small cup, about 1 tablespoon. It was filled with a pale yellow powdery substance. She dumped it into a teacup full of hot water and asked me to keep an eye out for any lice. I stirred the substance into the water and saw tiny, winged created float to the top. I scooped one out and showed it to her, “Is this one?” She said, “No. It’s much too small. Lice are larger.” I scooped out another and was told the same thing. The fly looked like a tiny gnat (minor annoyances) and I remember trying to remember what lice looked like. They were indeed bigger.
I recall watching my coworker from a distance. He was sitting outside talking to his roommate and a friend. There was a fire and they were laughing and having a good time. I remember doing the same years ago, when I was in my twenties. I longed to return to those times and wished I could join them, but knew I couldn’t. I recognized that when I was young and socializing, the main reason I did it was to attract a partner. The attention and attraction was what I was after. Nothing else.
Dream: Feed the Cats
I was at my mom’s house attending a birthday party. I think it was for my daughter but my memory is not clear on that. I remember being outside watching children, all little girls, playing and laughing. Someone pointed out a little girl and asked about her age. I told them she just turned 9yrs old and then corrected myself and said, “No, that’s not right. I’m being silly. She just turned 7.” I remember watching the little girl for a bit, happy to see her happy. She was blonde, like my daughter.
It was a beautiful, sunny, cloudless day and the air was the perfect temperature. I felt good – no worries and very light as if I had no past and no future, just the present moment. As I walked around I noticed an abundance of cats (the Feminine). There were dozens of them of all colors. In noticing the sheer number of cats, I thought it strange but then not strange because when I was young we did end up with lots of cats at one point. The cats were following me, meowing and looking up at me. I remember saying to them, “Are you hungry? Do you want me to feed you?”
When I spoke to the cats they responded and began to gather at my feet in anticipation of being fed. I wondered if anyone had fed them recently as it sure looked like they were starving.
I looked around for the food container. My mom often kept one outside on the front porch but when I looked for it, it wasn’t there. Then I spotted a container out in the yard and went to check if any food was inside. When I got to the container it resembled one of those red tool boxes with metal latches made of steel. I unlatched it and looked inside. Sure enough, there was food in it, but it was dog food.
The cats were still around me, gathered around my feet to the point that when I walked I had to be careful not to step on them. I said to them, “Sorry, no food in here.” I walked back towards the house, looking down to avoid cats and noticing the patterns on their fur. Many were tiger striped and one in particular was very distinctive. It’s fur seemed to glow with an orange light and when I looked closer so did its eyes. I thought it very beautiful but at the same time I was cautious because I knew how unpredictable cats can be.
I climbed up onto the roof (symbolic of me being an HD 6/2 – “on the roof”). The edges came down just above the ground so I just had to step up to get on it. The roof was very steep, an A-frame. I climbed to the top and sat down. It gave me a very good vantage point. I could see all around. As I sat there I think I was singing but I don’t recall this specifically. It is like I was in two places at once – on the roof and watching myself from afar.
One of the cats who followed me up onto the roof crawled into my lap and sat there. I petted it, still feeling very care-free and happy, looking far off into the distance. I began to scoot down the other side of the roof, careful not to scare the cat whose paws were on my lap. I felt him tense up but he did not grip me with his claws.
When I got to the ground I somehow ended up inside my mom’s bedroom looking out her window. Outside I could see that a woman had arrived. She had with her some equipment. A man met up with her, greeting her and helping her bring in her things. He was wearing black, leather pants with loops and chains heavy with tools. I remember saying to someone who was with me, “Oh, I see! She’s here because it is getting darker. That’s when she does her work.”
Somehow I knew this “work” involved communicating with Them, with the stars. This was confirmed when I saw the object the man was carrying. It was made of some kind of light colored metal and was long and tubular like a telescope, only it was much too big to be a telescope. it was about six feet long and two feet in diameter. It had appendages on it and I didn’t see a lens.
I noticed I could not see the man from the waist up. I didn’t see the woman at all, but I sensed she was there.
I mentioned to my companion this woman’s work but it somehow became my work. I think I asked, “How long does she/I work?” The answer I heard was, “Only part-time.”
As the dream ended I remember knowing they were headed to the side of the house to “Set up” and work through the night, talking to “the stars”.
Music Message and Discussion
As I woke, a song was going through my head, “Oh my God, Oh my God, this feeling’s just begun…But I’m frozen in motion and my head tells me to stop.”
I recognized the dream symbolism was positive and only briefly considered it. Then I said to my guidance, “I realize I do have fear. I am afraid. I am both fascinated and drawn to follow the Call, but I am afraid.” I knew the song represented my struggle – head and heart. My heart says go, my head says no. So I end up “frozen in motion”.
My reasons for not following the Call are all very reasonable, which makes it that much harder to ignore. I also know that to surrender to it will lead to change, and I am happy where I am. Change isn’t appealing and when the Kundalini is involved there is typically destruction involved. Tear down the old to make way for the New.
Interpretation
The first dream appears to be about my own considerations about life and people. I am confronted with those things that annoy me, things that could easily influence me if I am not careful. The lice represent these things and the tea is symbolic of protection. I am asked to continue to inspect my considerations and keep any eye out for those things which could “infect” me.
The second dream is refreshing, especially in my general mood and acceptance of the cats, which symbolize the Feminine and feminine sexuality. I am not frightened of the cats but I recognize their tendency to be unpredictable so I am cautious. I attempt to feed the cats, which is me recognizing I need to nourish and acknowledge the Feminine. The tool box and later the tools on the man’s pants are symbolic of tools I have at my disposal. Dog food is likely representative of me focusing on protection and fidelity in my life. I nourish that over the Feminine.
The roof is symbolic of my HD profile. I am a 6/2 and as a 6 line specifically, I am currently in the stage where I am an observer. I sit “on the roof” and watch others, learning from my observations in preparation of coming down from the roof.
The last portion of the dream also reminds me of my HD profile, but the 2nd line. As a 2nd line I am happy to be in my own little world but there are windows in the room I occupy. I can see out and others can see in. So in the dream it seems to me I am looking outside my comfortable space, curious about what is going on “out there”.
I observe an aspect of myself in her “work”. She comes in the evenings, while I am sleeping, and communications with Them.
Busy night. I had a night-long dream. One of those the continues even after waking up and seems to have a story-like feel to it. It wasn’t too vivid, though, so pieces are missing from my memory now that I am fully awake and starting my day.
Dream: Driving a Bus
The beginning is hazy but I remember ending up driving a school bus despite not really wanting to. Someone or something created the need for this. The need resulted from my partner being taken in another bus. I was to follow behind in my bus. I remember driving on the highway and taking sharp turns to get to a location out in the country. The feeling along the way was that I was being pushed in this direction as if by a momentum or pressure from a group. I don’t remember anyone being on the bus with me, though, just that a guide or energy was next to me.
There is a brief memory of seeing my partner at the location when I arrived but he was being kept separate from me and was always off in the distance. I could see him but I couldn’t get to him.
At some point my group began to materialize. I remember seeing faces but can’t recall them now. I do feel my family in physical reality was part of this group, especially my children.
We were taken to a location where a movie was being filmed. The location was chosen for the specific architecture. It reminded me of an archeological dig site in the middle east or fertile crescent area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. There were partially uncovered walls from ancient buildings. These walls were uncovered enough that one could walk through the buildings. The walls were about knee to waist high. Below the old buildings and down some stairs was a busy highway. It was quite loud from all the passing cars and traffic. I remember thinking it an odd choice to shoot a movie scene.
I watched as everyone arrived on set. An older man stood out from the crowd. I knew he was the producer of the movie. He was short, had a protruding belly and gray hair. He was also quite hairy because I remember seeing hair poking through the collar of his shirt. His arms were also quite hairy. All the hair was graying. He felt to be of a different origin than myself. Grecian maybe? Like someone I would have seen on an ancient coin or old painting of someone from long ago.
There was a backstory going on at the same time but I don’t remember it enough to recount it here. While this story was being filmed I found myself inside a very large, king-sized bed next to the man and I felt others were in the bed also but never saw them. I remember talking to the man about the shoot location. How were they going to filter out all the noise from passing traffic? He said they would mute the sound and then fill it in later.
Towards the end of the dream I became very conscious of the man being close to me in this huge bed. He was pointing out a tree growing inside one of the houses on the hill where the filming was taking place. The tree was fairly short and squat, like something that would grow in an arid climate. It reminded me of an olive tree. Its branches were twisted and gnarled and it had tiny leaves growing on it. I could see all of this in my mind’s eye as if through a window.
The man wrapped his legs around me. I could feel his body hair up against my body and wondered if he was naked. Then I remember someone asking me, “Are you naked?” I didn’t know. I remember saying, “I just got a new sweater.” In my mind’s eye I saw a very comfortable, baby blue sweater.
I began to gain lucidity at this time because I recognized that the sweater represented protection and to be naked represented trust and openness. For some reason I did not trust this man but I knew there was no reason not to.
The man brought my attention back to the tree. He said they selected the location for the film for a very specific reason. As I looked at the tree I noticed it was covered in faces, the faces of cats and kittens. I thought it very strange but answered the man with, “Oh! I see!” and said something about how rare such trees were. The faces on it began to move as if alive.
The last thing I remember was being in bed with this man. He was on my right facing away from me laying on his side. I felt his legs reach back and hook through my own, pulling me up close to him so that we were spooning. I remember him asking if I wanted to connect with him. I said it was okay. This is when I saw a visual of my sweater coming off as if being told that trust was needed.
This is when I woke up but entered into the in-between where the man and I continued to communicate.
Discussion
What was said was intermixed with various songs and visuals which makes it hard to relay the conversation word-for-word. What I remember most was being asked to reconsider a decision that was made. I was asked what I felt more than once and why I felt the way I did. I don’t recall really understanding some of the feelings I contacted nor the reasons I felt them. I do remember that part of the discussion was in my decision to limit Kundalini connections and interactions to dreamtime. It felt like I was being told that I had moved past that stage and now needed to take what I’d learned and apply it to physical reality.
Whoever I was talking to was asking permission to contact me and as this was happening songs came into my mind. Just parts of them, though.
The song first was Lovesong and “I will always love you” was repeated with the melody as messages were coming through. It was more telepathic, though, full of feeling. The only words I recall came from the song.
I kept trying to leave the conversation as I was mostly awake by this time, but a feeling kept saying, “Don’t go” and so I lingered in bed and continued to receive communication. Each time I wanted to end off, a song would come to mind. The lyrics I heard came from the song, More Than You Know – “I just need to get it off my chest, yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know….”.
Dream Interpretation
A school bus is indicative of a life lesson. The fact that I am driving the bus shows that I am in control and directing the lesson while others follow in my lead. The split from a partner in this case indicates a split from a decision, lesson or path that involved a partner. I feel pressured to return to this lesson by an unknown energy to my left and ultimately pursue the other bus and my partner. There isn’t really a resistance to the request but I feel pressure.
The setting of the movie feels like I am being shown something from my past. It would have been in a location from long ago, likely in the fertile crescent. The archeological dig indicates this past has been partially revealed but only the foundations remain. The man in the dream, or the producer, is unfamiliar to me and this part of the dream feels to be a communication from him to me.
The king-sized bed could be an indicator that I am lucid. Beds, for me, are my safe place. They are comfortable and cozy. I go to my bed for privacy, peace and relaxation. Beds can indicate avoidance of something, also. The fact that this man is in bed with me indicates he is able to penetrate my defenses. He is with me in my safe place. The sweater I am wearing indicates I am not fully open to this, though, and he is since he is naked. He is facing away from me which I feel is him communicating to me that he is not a threat. The fact that I allow him to intertwine his legs with mine indicates I am partially open to him occupying my space. The visual I see of my sweater taken off is a communication from him. I am being asked to trust. I don’t do this in the dream but I do remember being confused as to whether I am naked or not. I can’t tell.
The trees with cat faces is unusual. Trees are about the cycle of life, knowledge, and wisdom. This tree is short, gnarled and obviously very old. Cats in my dreams tend to symbolize the feminine, feminine sexuality and the Kundalini energy. Often in my dreams they are annoyances to me, rubbing up against my leg or showing up in strange places where I am unable to avoid them. I’ve had dreams where an entire hoard of cats was pursuing me on a mountain top and I was trying to get away but was overcome by them. I’ve also had dreams where a cat was dying or sick, but those a rare. I’ve never seen cat faces on a tree, though. My best guess is that the cat faced tree represents feminine wisdom and growth. The cat faces are like fruits on the tree, so perhaps a cycle of life or lifetimes has matured, produced fruit and is ripe for the picking?
I do know that a part of me wanted to linger in the in-between this morning. I felt pulled toward the in-between, similar to how how I felt when I was made to drive the bus in my dream.
Living Life in Between 