Tag Archives: dream interpretation

by

Emotional Purging Returns

After a couple of nights of no tears the break is over. I was up most of the night in tears. I suppose I should count myself blessed being I’m not sick and had the two day reprieve.

The dreams started early in the night and this time I remember all of them and the reasons for my tears. I believe the better dream recall stems from a mixture of a lower dosage of Benadryl and taking 200mg of B6 prior to bed. B6 is known to help with dream recall. I have been taking the Benadryl for weeks because of my lingering cold symptoms and difficulty falling to sleep. Typically it does not lower dream recall or decrease the chance of having an OBEs. In fact, when I had my most recent OBE I took 25mg of Benadryl. However, I sleep lighter when I don’t take it.

Dream: Injustice

In this dream I was watching a drama unfold at a warehouse location (memories). The boss was giving the employees their instructions for the day. A couple of them posted a sign about him on the store doors. It was discovered and they were punished. The sign told untruths about their boss, some very nasty ones, too. I watched as more and more employees were joining the first two and undermining their boss behind his back. They did everything you can imagine – talked about him, purposefully made him look bad, ignored instructions, lied, etc. They were malicious, cold and plain nasty. I watched as the boss saw this happening and was beside himself with upset and unable to do anything about it. There was nothing wrong with him, either, it was just that two men decided to hate him and make his life miserable and got others to join them. I could feel all his upset and it became as if my own.

Toward the end of the dream I entered the dream and tried to defend the man. The whole thing was just so unfair and wrong. I remember telling someone about how I felt and how I could identify with the man’s plight. This is when I began to cry in heaving sobs. It was not tears for me but for the cruelty suffered by anyone in similar circumstances. I did have memories of my own upsets and relived the feelings I had during those times. I saw how I protected myself from it by withdrawing from most social circles.

When I woke up my eyes were pouring tears. It was 11am and I had not been asleep very long yet the dream seemed to have lasted forever. I remember saying to my guidance, “I don’t want to be here anymore.” When I was calmer I heard a voice say, “We want you to stay.” I realized I was in the in-between when I felt/saw one of my guides reach across a table and take my hand in his own. I then saw I was sitting at a round table and my Council was sitting all around me. The table was open in the middle and that is where I was seated. When looking at the table from above it would resemble a crescent moon.

We talked for a short while about my options. I won’t go into detail about them now but they have to do with the upcoming vertical alignment I am preparing for.

tears

Dream: Loss

In this dream I was at work orientation. I was obviously a school counselor at a school campus. Part of the orientation was to take a math quiz (self analysis) in order to assess our readiness to help the students with the state mandated testing. I had gotten mine late and when the principal came around to check our progress she took mine and wrote in black pen comments that were very rude and unprofessional. I was shocked and ended up cheating off a fellow teacher (feeling insecure) to get it done but even the copying proved difficult. The problems were very complex.

Feeling upset and wanting to get away, I went to hide in the bathroom (renewal). I was reconsidering my decision to work there. For some reason I was completely naked (fear of being discovered). I noticed an orange (out-going nature), sticky substance was all over me and I could not get it off. A man came in and told me it came from the sinks. Before I could be surprised that he was there the bathroom was full of people, both male and female. I was the only one without clothes but no one seemed to notice and I didn’t seem to care.

Then I went into the lounge and saw they had loads of fresh squeezed mandarin orange juice (energy/vitality). I saw it and mentioned that I should make marmalade for them. Entire memories of my last temporary job came to me at this time.

Then I was called to a meeting with the principal. She was very stern with me and gave me an agenda. I was working part-time and she was making sure my time was filled with productivity. There was a feeling that she was suspicious that I was slacking. She told me that she wanted me to give a presentation on loss. She then showed me another counselor who was doing such a presentation. The man was praying (humility) with a student. In the prayer he requested help for the child and his family. I was shocked that he was allowed to pray in school and became distraught when I felt the emotion of the family he was praying for.

I woke up in tears. There was a feeling that I was being asked to consider continuing my work as a counselor. I did not want this and was rejecting the idea. However, there is no indication of such a request. I think I was being asked to evaluate past experiences. The tears came from the end of the dream. I recognized that I have suffered huge loss in this life, loss that never was quite resolved. I also felt extremely lonely. My guidance pointed this out to me saying, “You are lonely.” The homesick feeling was very strong.

Dream: Test

In this dream I was with a couple of groups. The first was made of two men. Both had been drinking heavily (reaching new level of awareness) and one had vomited (letting go) and was cleaning it up. The second group was made of two women and they were going with me to a job interview situation. One woman was needing the job badly and talking about her financial situation. She was young and inexperienced. When we got to the location we were asked to take a test (self-analysis). The tests were on computers. After we were seated we began the test. I knew I had to pass all four sections but I was very nervous. Things kept distracting me. For example, I found several pairs of socks (yielding to others) on the desk, only one pair was mine. Another distraction was the woman sitting next to me. I remember us talking about our eyes and her saying she had a rare and special condition. I can’t recall it now but I do remember looking into her brown eyes for a long time. They were speckled with gold and very unique.

Eventually I was told to log off and given a slip of paper to come in and finish my exam. I asked why and was told it was lunch time. I got irritated at the proctor because the others were still taking their tests. I asked, “Why do they get to stay?” She wouldn’t answer. I realized it was because they were almost done and I was far from done. I stormed out of the building telling then I would not be able to come during the week like they wanted me to and likely would never finish the test.

When I got outside I climbed onto a little moped and drove off. Unfortunately, one of my tires went flat (feeling emotionally flat/tired) leaving me with only two. I remember seeing the tire very vividly as it literally fell off the third wheel.

The last thing I recall was sitting in a movie theater facing a group of kids. They were talking about going out and getting drunk. I remembering thinking I could use a drink, too, but knowing better.

Memories

I woke between each of these dreams and was unable to fall asleep for some time afterward. After the last dream I just stayed awake. While in between dreams I was given messages in the form of visions and music. The main visual I recall was seeing the number 11 very vividly. It started out small, like in the distance, and then got larger and large, closer and closer.

Several songs came to mind. The first two came simultaneously into my mind. This was after I woke from the first dream and was quite upset.

I was hearing, “You are beautiful, no matter what they say” simultaneously with, “I will wait, I will wait for you.” Two completely different songs superimposed in my mind.

The last song came after the second dream and before the third. It returned after I woke from the third as well. The part that kept repeating was, “I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody. I wanna dance with somebody, somebody who loves me.” I suspect this song message is about the Kundalini “dance” of masculine and feminine energies. I have a brief memory from early on in the night where I felt the Kundalini energy throughout my mid-section. It was a pleasant, whirling feeling that, had I been more lucid, would likely have been quite intense and difficult to manage.

by

Identity

I was hit hard with emotion last night. Woke up three times in tears. None of the dreams really make much sense but I remember every one of them.

Dream: Returning the Hostages

There is a whole backstory to this dream that I will shorten. I didn’t dream it. I knew it in the dream. A group of colonists had encountered a group of Natives. The Natives took a woman and her daughter and the colonists were up in arms over it. Where I recall the dream is when the exchange occurred. The colonists were handing over two wolves in exchange for the woman and child. I remember the wolves most vividly. They were snarling and nasty and seemed almost like trained attack dogs the way they acted. I don’t remember seeing the woman and child. My focus was on the Natives for the most part.

What is odd is that I was able to take on the perspectives of both groups. I could feel the colonist’s outrage and how they thought the Natives inhuman savages. Similarly, I could feel the Natives and their upset over the colonist’s insistence that they return the woman and child. They believed they were helping the woman and child, not abducting them.

I don’t remember what triggered the tears (the wolves?) but I woke up sobbing. It was a heart-wrenching grief that seemed to have no source.

Dream: Funeral

I was attending a funeral in Katy, Texas for a woman who had died. I remember following a road and hearing about her life and all the people who would miss her. There was an old man with me who was talking but I only recall him as a presence.

We arrived at the burial. It was under a huge tent and people crowded around. Part of the ceremony involved everyone sharing a memory of her. I heard them all and there were more than I could count. Hundreds maybe.

The lady who had died, I think her name was Geraldine, had asked that 100 balloons be released after she was buried. Everyone held a balloon and began to let them go one by one. I backed up and out from under the tent. I could feel a light rain on my shoulders but the sun was shining. I looked up in the sky watching as the balloons were released. They were all colors. Some in bunches and some singletons. It was the most spectacular site.

Then came the feeling. It is indescribable really but if I had to compare it to something it would be akin to the feeling one has after they have traveled a very a long, lonely and difficult journey and finally made it back home to the ones they love. It was pure jubilation mixed with an overwhelming sense of freedom and peace. And there was love coming from every single person there. The love from them all hit me full in the chest. It said, “Welcome home. You are loved.” I stood there, letting the love in, sobbing uncontrollably. I saw the balloons in the sky begin to morph into the forms of animals as I cried. They seemed to come to life and run across the sky. The last ones I saw looked to be from the ocean – sharks, fish, sting rays, etc.

When I woke I was crying uncontrollably. I couldn’t understand it. I asked my guidance, “What is happening to me?” It felt as if I was being called. It felt like I was holding on, not letting go. I was beside myself with upset. Why can’t I let go?

Dream: Beach

I was standing and facing the ocean. The beach and cloudless seemed to go forever in both directions. I wanted to run into the water but I didn’t. I just stared at it. I could feel people around me but I couldn’t see them. I asked to see them. An outline of a person appeared to my right. I could see right through him but I could also see him. When I saw him I hugged him. I heard, “You have to let go.” I began to feel emotional. It was like I was grieving but I don’t know what for. Then I felt the others around me. There were thousands all there on the beach with me. All of them completely see-through, as if they were one with the surroundings but I could also see the outline of each of their forms. It felt like they wanted me to go into the ocean. To let it take me. To drown. To surrender completely to it.

I began to cry again and it woke me up. The tears stopped and I was confused. I asked again, “What is going on?” I heard, “Identity.” Then I knew. I have to surrender it all. To let go of everything, even my own identity. How do I even do that?

Identity

After I awoke I lost a good portion of what I had dreamed. This is common-place for me now. I don’t know why but my dreams just don’t stick around like they use to. It’s okay, though. I am not needing to remember them really. Once I wake and shift back into this reality all that goes along with my dream experiences – the crying, grief, upset – disappears as if it was never there. What remains is a feeling that something profound is on the horizon for me and many others like me. This is intensely transformative stuff. The kind that leaves in its wake change and movement like never before.

I received the message, “Identity”, a few nights ago as well. I didn’t know what to think of it. At the time I thought it meant that I was taking on a new identity. Now I know it means I have to strip myself of my identity. But how do I do that? Without identity what is left? Nothingness?

I suppose it would be the same as when one dies. When we die we leave behind the person we were in life. We discard it completely. But then that is a normal part of the process right? But if we are not actually experiencing the loss of our physical body then would it even be possible to discard the identity connected to it? And then, say we were able to do that, what then?

As I write this I am reminded that a portion of a song came to mind this morning when I was wondering what was going on. It’s from the Ingrid Michaelson song Afterlife again but the only part I heard was, “To live a brand new start.” I suppose that we have to let go of the identity we created in order to start over, to live a new life. Why does that scare me so much? Ugh.

by

Another Reset and June Graduation

Despite feeling better, I still have lingering cold symptoms that just will not go away. It would be nice to feel 100% again. This prolonged illness is taking its toll on me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Since I felt better yesterday I attempted a trip to the gym. It didn’t go well and I had to come home early. It wiped me out. However, on the way home a familiar song came on that made me smile. You may know it if you are a child of the 80’s like I am. 🙂

Instantly I was taken to a time and place I had long ago forgotten. At that time in my life, my parents were divorced and my dad would take us on the weekends. He often took us to a particular skating rink. I’m not sure but I think he may have been part owner of it which makes sense because he was dabbling in many business ventures at the time. Anyway, I literally felt transported to a moment in my life around 1985. I was on the skating rink, multicolored lights were flashing and I could hear the above song playing loudly. It was just a brief moment from my life back then but it was vividly clear. One of those brief childhood reprieves in a very tumultuous time in my life. I can still remember everything about that skating rink from the rink itself to the arcade and the skate rental. My dad would leave us there all day while he went off and did others things. And even though I was especially traumatized during that time in my life (emotionally disturbed even) that memory is a cherished one.

I don’t know about you, but for me, each phase of my life has music attached to it in some way. Like the song above, that particular time in my life – 7-9yrs old, parents divorcing, moving to a new home, etc – is accompanied by specific music. When I hear the music it takes me back almost instantly to that time in my life. It is like I organize and categorize my life based upon the music I listened to. lol As I get older it seems to be even more pronounced. I even adjust my Ipod music selection now intentionally to block or encourage certain memories/life phases. When I feel I am ready to let go of a certain time, I delete all songs connected to it. Then later, when I feel ready to reminisce or when it is time to deal with whatever is left of those times, I find myself drawn to play songs from that time period again. When the emotional reaction to the music is gone, meaning I can listen and just enjoy the music for what it is, then I know I have handled whatever lingering issues there are from those time periods. The fact that I smiled when I heard the above song is positive. That was a very, very rough time in my life. Horrible, actually.

Avoidance

As you may have figured from yesterday’s post, my guidance is pushing me to action again. Action meaning that I need to make some changes in my life. I am hearing specifically, “What do you want?”, “Think about your life”, “It is TIME” and my favorite (not), “Are you ready to work?”

All of these except the last were common messages from my guidance back in 2011-2013. Back then I was in an especially horrible work situation, family and marriage were in upheaval, and I was miserable. It was like a mini-mid-life crisis. Just thinking about this time period and I get a song in my mind (yep!). This particular song was, It’s Time by Imagine Dragons. There’s that message literally in my face – IT’S TIME.

A little about me. 🙂 When I get to where I feel unhappy, bored or just generally dissatisfied with my life I typically bring in more doingness as a distraction. At that time I opted to get my Master’s degree and start weight lifting and transforming my body. I was doing this all with two young children, working a full-time stressful job, and other issues I was unwilling to confront. I tend to get myself so busy that I have no time to think or contemplate. It’s a great avoidance technique.

So where did this avoidance get me? Nowhere really. Yeah, I got a master’s degree which got me out of my stressful job situation only to lead me smack dab into another one. lol I also got a great looking fit, healthy body only to end up unexpectedly pregnant. Big LOL. All my hard work only led me back to where I started.

Back to present day. Here I am receiving similar messages. Here I am feeling similarly about my life. Here. I. Am. WTF, right?

We repeat lessons until they are learned. In fact, just yesterday I was thinking, “I need to find something to fill my time. To keep me occupied.” This is my avoidance technique at its best. In fact yesterday I was thinking, “Maybe I should look for a full-time job.” But just the idea of it made me feel exhausted and deflated. In the past I would steamroll over such a feeling. Now I can’t do that. How do you steamroll over a huge wall?

Since my normal avoidance techniques don’t seem to be working I am left not really knowing what to do. Maybe that is the point.

Reset

So to the heading of this section: Reset. It just came to me out of the blue and I thought that maybe I should check and see how many times I have written about a reset in this blog. Turns out it’s 2. And guess what? They are all spaced about a year apart from each other. Take a look: January 2015 and March 2016. HA! And I’m pretty sure I wrote about a reset in my older blog, I just couldn’t find it under that keyword and I’m too lazy to look further.

Last year I had been sick and going through a reset. It was caused by the Kundalini. In fact, both reset periods were linked to the Kundalini. I suspect this one is, too. I don’t remember any significant Kundalini episodes but this is likely because I have been sleeping so deeply. All I can remember is my root expanding once and some hazy recollections of energy in my upper chakras.

When I go through these periods my spiritual experiences slow down and I usually end up feeling similar to how I feel right now. Message: This is just a phase and it will not last forever. Allow it and breathe.

mailbox-green1

Dream: June Graduation

One more thing. I had a brief dream this morning. In it I was at my mom’s house but my sister and her husband had built a house close by. I was obviously confronting a potential outcome of the current situation, that my mom will give in and build my sister and her family a home next to theirs. She actually mentioned this to me the last time I visited. I was telling my mom in the dream that she was enabling them and I was feeling very disturbed by how things were unfolding.

Then I was with my brother up by the front gate of my grandparent’s property. We were looking at a green mailbox and talking. He held up in front of me a giant calendar. It was as tall as he was and very vivid. The calendar front had information about his upcoming graduation on it. The calendar itself was of the month of June and the majority of the month was blocked out except for the last four days. I could see those days distinctly and knew these were the days of the graduation preparations and commencement.

Green mailbox – An important message is about to be received. Green = positive change and hope.

When I woke up the first thing on my mind was knowing that my sister and her family would likely be living on my mother’s property permanently. I wanted to be pissed about it but immediately thought, “That is likely what my sisters thought about me when my mom gave me 2 acres next to her and I built a home and linked to her water well.” My upset dissolved and I was just left with a sadness for the situation that I knew was about to unfold. I saw how my mom needed to feel needed and my sister provided her with that. A lesson was unfolding for them and it was none of my business. In fact, at that moment I thought that I could completely disconnect from my family – mom, sisters, cousins, etc – and not have any issue with it. I wanted to move out of state and never come back and this was not to punish them but because I felt done. Weird.

Then I considered the part of the dream with my brother. I know without a doubt it was not my brother. No way. The person he represented and resembles is “family” and like my “brother”, though. And apparently he is going to “graduate” in June.

For some reason I got grumpy about this information. Maybe because it is two months away? I began to mull over disconnecting completely from this spiritual path again. Like I did in 2007. Just a total break; a hiatus. Feelings of disappointment were hard to push away. The Ego-child emerged and threw her tantrum. She is very impatient and when what she Knows and wants do not happen fast enough, she gets grumpy.

As I was feeling these feelings parts of songs came into my mind and I lightened up as I acknowledged them. The first was part of the above song – “Don’t you remember….” This repeated over and over. Okay. No, I don’t (curse word) remember! Then later I heard, “You and me, we got this. You and me we’re beautiful, beautiful….We’re gonna be alright.”

When I heard this I fell into my heart space and took a deep breath. It can be so hard to trust and so hard to navigate this life. Time is a curse to the impatient (like me).

So to my “brother” – the last four days in June are significant. You will “graduate”.

by

Dream: Meeting a Friend

Had a very long, in-depth dream that seemed to span the entire night last night.

Dream: Meeting a Friend

The dream began with me meeting up with a friend from FB. He appeared younger than he does in his photos and in the dream I knew he was a teenager. He asked me “out” but it was not a date, it was more like an introduction to his life. He wanted to share some things with me. I agreed and we seemed transported to a house.

I felt to be up north somewhere and the area was very green with few trees. He introduced me to his mom and sister. There was also a dog, though I can’t recall what the dog looked like. I met his mom, who had light hair (blonde I think) and was very nice but left us alone most of the time we were there. I don’t recall seeing his sister but he spoke to me about her at length and showed me some of her old toys which were in excellent condition. These were toys from the 80’s and 90’s. I recall talking about My Little Pony and how much the toys are worth now as they are collectibles. I even held one of the ponies in my hand. This is the most vivid part of the dream.

There was a section of the dream where he was braiding hair and I was spraying on color in rainbows. It was odd because my friend had a very long mullet that he was braiding. Since both of us had blonde hair the color I sprayed on our hair appeared very bright.

He and I decided to venture into town and he drove me out of his neighborhood and into a town. I remember paying close attention to the roads we traveled as if I wanted to remember how to get back to his house. We parked the car in a parking area next to a highway overpass. I recall thinking he had the wrong idea about me and feeling a bit uncomfortable because we were in a car alone together.

The dream seems to blend in with my current life then, so I assume we were sharing info from our lives with one another. At one point I began to nod off as I was looking at my phone. When I “woke up” there was a group of people in the back seat of the car with us. I asked how long I had slept and he said he had slept too so he didn’t know.

There is a long section of the dream here that is hazy, probably because I was “dozing off” still. I remember getting out of the car and talking with the group of teens who had been in the back. We went inside a warehouse for a while and there was discussion of a rival gang who was threatening the teens.

The next thing I know I am with another man who I can’t see. I assume it is my Companion. He is asking me about my friend and wanted to know if I knew how to get back to his house. I told him I did and we drove the route back toward his house, only I took a wrong turn and we ended up by a large lake. I said, “This is wrong. There was no lake. We have to turn back.” So we turned around and I recall viewing the route we took from above, as if viewing a map. I remember saying the name of the street he lived on several times but I can’t recall it now. It was a four letter word, though. At one point we asked some people for directions and I recall seeing lots of water and avoiding falling into it.

I don’t remember ever getting back to my friend’s house. I ended up with a group of people standing over a grave. The grave was an elevated box filled with dirt. There was not enough dirt and we needed to finish filling it. I observed trash and other debris was in the grave and attempted to redistribute the dirt so that it was even. The mound in the center where the body was disturbed me and I remember thinking there was a smell but I never smelled anything. When I shoveled the dirt it looked a lot like compost and I could see heat radiating off of it. Eventually, though, the man in the grave sat up and began talking to us. He said he was hungry and tired of waiting. The man looked like my BIL and the trash in the grave began to look less like trash. I recall seeing several grilled cheese sandwiches and told him he should eat them.

Considerations

I have no idea what to think of this dream sequence. I slept really good and almost didn’t write it except that most of the dream involved a FB friend which is very unusual. This is the second night in a row now that I have had an online friend in my dreams. I am not sure why this is happening as I have not set any intentions to meet up with anyone. I was not very lucid in this dream and am surprised I remembered so much of it.

My main focus is on the rainbow hair painting part and the My Little Pony (MLP) part. They seem interconnected. MLP always has rainbows in it. lol Ponies are symbolic of unexplored and underdeveloped power/potential. I loved the ponies as a child and have over 50 ponies from my childhood wrapped and stored in my home. So the ponies could represent a discussion about my childhood. Rainbows represent good fortune but can also symbolize the bridge between the physical and spiritual. It can also be a message to look at the positive side of things. Braiding hair represents determination. It could also indicate the braiding of the the spiritual and physical (embodiment).

My attention is also drawn to the map in my mind and all the time spent traveling roads. It could be there was a discussion about my life path and trying to find Home. The street name still eludes me but it was something like Ipal or Apal. Not sure. Maybe it represents “apple” which has to do with knowledge and wisdom like the apple in the Garden of Eden.

The grave section of the dream is also strange. Why was my BIL in the grave? lol Seeing a grave indicates there is an issue deep in my subconscious that needs to be put to rest. Since there is garbage in it, it could be the issue is particularly repulsive to me. Since I am trying to cover it with dirt, maybe I am trying to cover it up? My BIL could be a clue to the issue, but I have no idea. It was my BIL that just moved here from L.A. who popped out of the grave. He kind of looks like Paul Bunyan. lol Not sure on the sandwich either. It indicate lots of pressure is being put on me. My best guess is that the issue I am being asked to “put to rest” involves my family. The issue may be something I judge myself harshly for and feel is repulsive in some way so I try to bury it rather than confront it. I have no clue, though, what the issue might be.

by

Flood Dream and OBE

Last night I struggled to fall asleep. It could have been my overactive mind which was going a 100 miles an hour. I was thinking of really random stuff, too. One minute I would be thinking of something going on presently and another I would jump to somewhere in my past. Even when my Companion stepped in and tried to help me clear my mind I would end up somewhere else in this lifetime mulling over this or that. I also had songs stuck in my head, which is infuriating when trying to get to sleep.

Sometime around midnight I finally drifted off.

Dream: Flood

I was with a male friend, a patriarch-type, driving/flying down a country road. We had to stop because the road leading to the place we were going was flooded. I wanted to drive through it but my friend said we had to wade through it because the water was too deep. I wanted nothing to do with getting wet and kept thinking of how cold the water was and how uncomfortable it would make me. He told me there was no other way and I recall watching myself wade through waist high, sometimes chest high, water to go to this white, plain looking house. My friend looked a lot like my neighbor, which was odd to me.

Then we were walking along the river. The water was up high. My friend pointed to a little chipmunk who was waterlogged on the banks of the river. He was exhausted but alive. He picked it up and tossed it back into the river and it swam back to the bank in a hurry, gulping water and panting. The message from my friend was something about how the chipmunk would just keep repeating the pattern regardless of how many times he was tossed back in.

Interpretation

This was a dream discussion with my Companion. I am avoiding certain emotions related to life issues (flooded road). I am told I must personally confront them (wade in the water) and doing so would lead to a breakthrough (feeling cold) and a spiritual rebirth (wet). Part of the discussion was how if I keep clinging to the past (chipmunk) and repeating patterns from it (returning to bank repeatedly) then I will get nowhere.

Dream: College Symposium

I was heading to class at a university but the door of the classroom had a note that class would be meeting elsewhere but it didn’t post the room number. Another woman approached and seemed to no where to go. I followed her but then seemed to morph into her telling the other me where the new class was.

We arrived and I met with my friend Sophia. We sat in auditorium style seats and waited for class to start. There was great anticipation here but I don’t know why. It seemed we were both excited and Sophia was telling me about something I can’t recall now.

Interpretation

This dream is all about personal growth and anxieties related to it.

OBE: Warts

I woke up wide-awake, my mind very active once again. The thoughts going through my mind were more incidents from the past that seemed random and unrelated. I recognized this and thought, “I’m doing some kind of life review again.” I remember my Companion asking me if I would allow him to take over. I didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.” Then I started to feel my heart, third-eye and crown light up with energy. It created this warm area from my heart to the top of my head and it lulled me to sleep.

Somehow I ended up very lucid and suddenly realized I was laying in bed next to a naked man. I sat up and looked at the man in front of me. My vision would go in and out as I blinked my eyes and I felt extremely exhausted, fighting to stay away and aware. I knew I was OOB and was aware of my Companion speaking to me telepathically. He was not the man on the bed, though.

My Companion was asking me to explore the situation. His intentions became mine, like we were the same person. His thoughts were separate from mine and recognized as such but there was no lag between what he thought/intended and what I did. I didn’t question any of this. It felt natural.

I reached out and touched the man, my vision blinking on vividly. He looked like my current husband but I never saw the man’s face so I don’t know. I recall my Companion commenting on what was being seen. He said something about the body hair and the body suddenly seemed to have lots of body hair. I passed my hand lightly over the body from head to torso feeling the hair. The sensation was very real and again I thought about being OOB and taking over but then suddenly felt exhausted and without motivation to do anything but remain where I was.

Then I recall hearing there was no hair at all on the body and instantly it had no hair. I recall feeling the difference and noting it and discussing my preference and why I preferred one over the other. I preferred the hairy body to the hairless one.

Then the body suddenly was covered in red bumps likes warts. The body also resembled that of my ex-husband then for some reason. I recoiled from it and felt myself return to my body.

I was congratulated by my Companion upon my return to my body but I couldn’t recall why. Maybe it was some sort of test?

Then I remember what he asked me prior to the OBE. He had asked if he could “take over”. This didn’t mean he took over my body but that I followed his lead without question. On considering the experience it seems like I was practicing doing this. His thoughts/intentions became mine. Instead of me running the show I completely gave control over to him. This takes a huge amount of trust on my part.

The symbolism is interesting. Hair has to do with sexuality and one’s attitude. The loss of it may indicate a fear of losing my sexual attractiveness. Warts have to do with acknowledging the beauty within me and is a message to stop punishing myself. Since the body with the warts looked like my ex’s it could be that I am still holding onto something from that relationship and punishing myself for it.

Other Random Memories

I am still having dream amnesia, the kind where I will suddenly recall an entire dream sequence only to have it immediately vanish from my mind. This morning I had such a dream memory. I can’t remember it now (of course) but I knew instantly what it meant. It seems that I am being prepared to confront certain life problems that up to this point I have avoided confronting. Most of these issues are related to my family and the relationships I have with certain family members.

Issues coming up for resolution (yay?):

Family drama.

My sister and her husband (my first cousin) recently got evicted from their house for non-payment of rent of a substantial amount. Prior to this, my sister had reached out to me just to reconnect (or so I thought) and asked for money for rent after several days of positive interaction. I recoiled from this, sensing an old pattern of hers, and told her no. Several days later I found out from my mom they were evicted before my sister reconnected with me. I realized she never intended to use the money for rent. I was sad and disappointed that my sister had not changed.

Currently my sister and her family live with my mom because they couldn’t find a place to rent. My mom was against it but was pressured to let them move in by her husband. Her husband creates a whole other issue in and of itself, too. The last time I visited the energy was so unsettled and jagged at my mom’s that I knew I would not be able to visit for a while. We are opting not to spend Easter at my mom’s this year because of it.

On top of that, my sister texted me Wednesday to tell me she and her husband have been asked to be on a TLC show about cousin couples. She asked me if I would consent to an interview. After thinking about it I knew it would be a bad idea. In fact, the whole thing feels bad to me. I told her no and felt her energetic reaction which was not good. My mom consented to an interview, though. Supposedly my sister and her husband could make a substantial amount of money for being on the show.

As you can imagine this is really testing me with all the spiritual changes I am going through now. Testing whether I can remain balanced throughout all of this drama. My little self wants to be angry about how “unfair” it is that my sister be given so much money and opportunity when she obviously doesn’t deserve it. It wants to punish her and be “right” in some way. I am constantly having to rein in these reactive thoughts because they come with a very heavy, nasty feeling emotion. It seems like all this family stuff is coming now in order to test me, to see if I can avoid falling into old patterns and behaviors. Mostly I am handling it by avoidance at the moment but I know this won’t work forever. Thankfully, my Companion interjects whenever I begin to fall into old reactive thought patterns. I listen and the thoughts/feeling vanish. It is the most amazing thing but I don’t know how I will respond when face-to-face with my family. We’ll see I guess!

My marriage.

Actually everything is “good” on the surface. It is the stuff underneath that still needs resolution. Neither of us is pushing to resolve anything. I won’t go into anymore detail than that.

 

 

 

by

Streamlining the Self

Update you all might be interested in. Thanks for reading! ❤

Dayna's avatarA Walk-In Life

Integration is almost complete and I am noticing a substantial difference in myself. I have been told for longer than I can recall, “You are changing.” I have noticed this and that along the way, but currently there are so many changes I am noticing that it is mind boggling. I am so different than I use to be in so many ways. It seems miraculous, but it isn’t.

My Companion says it is the result of “streamlining the Self”.

Streamline definition from Dictionary.com:

1. a teardrop line of contour offering the least possible resistance to a current of air, water, etc.
2. the path of a particle that is flowing steadily and without turbulence in a fluid past an object……..
4. to alter in order to make more efficient or simple.

The Discussion

After waking this morning I recalled that there was discussion in my dreams of all the progress I had made…

View original post 1,797 more words

by

Final Preparations Continue

Had a full moon Kundalini lucid dream experience last night within an hour of falling asleep. It was another preparation for the full rising. Based on the dream symbolism I suspect more Kundalini dreams/experiences will be coming by Easter. Thanks for reading. ❤

Dayna's avatarA Walk-In Life

Last night while meditating my Companion told me he would be meeting me later that night. By the time I was in bed doing my nightly meditation I had all but forgotten about it. While meditating he reminded me. I had noticed a difference in the energy throughout the day and by this time it was very acute. So, I did not doubt my Companion would do what he said.

EFT

While meditating I was led to do something I have never done. I began to tap with three fingers on certain points on my body. At first I did this on my pelvis quite unconsciously but was led to pay attention to what I was doing. Next, I felt led to tap on the space just above my heart. After that I felt drawn to tap on my left wrist area. Then I was drawn to tap on the spaces right…

View original post 1,417 more words

by

Lucid Dream: Dry Lake to Control Freak

Slept 11 hours last night. I’m really enjoying sleeping this much. It is a rarity. Unfortunately, I awoke to my daughter freaking out because her younger brother had broken a glass all over the kitchen floor. She had a sleepover last night so I had two drama queens to contend with. lol Thankfully her friend seems not to be a morning person and was pretty quiet.

Dream: Dry Lake to Control Freak

Woke at 5:30am and asked to project. Fell back to sleep and entered into a semi-lucid dream. I was traveling with a man across the tallest bridge I have ever seen over a massive lake. The bridge was golden in color and had what seemed like levels that rose high up into the sky. There were people in these levels, too, all waiting for something. Men, women, children of all races. They wore nondescript clothing that appeared identical to me. All of them had looks of anticipation on their faces, as if they were hoping something or someone had come for them. To help? To bring them something? I don’t know.

I closed my eyes, scared of being up so high. I took a peek out several times. Every time I did I would look down and see the lake below me and this very narrow, golden footpath my partner was using but I never saw his feet. It was like we were floating. I knew then my partner was carrying me.

We arrived at a lake and I lost track of my partner. I swam across it with a group of people. On the opposite shore we turned back to go to a spot out in the lake to see a penguin. I recall wearing goggles. From there we watched something on a large screen, me wearing my goggles. I took them off momentarily to adjust them and felt someone grab my leg. I was pulled under and I could not make it back up for air. I was held under far longer than I should have survived and knew I was dreaming. Full-on lucidity resulted.

I came up out of the water and saw my friends were all gone. There was a giant killer whale float we had been using and it was in the distance. I swan toward it only to find the water disappearing. I saw thousands of people and floats coming toward me walking in the waist deep water. I asked someone if they had seen my partner. No one had.

By the then the water was completely gone. I saw a pick-up and began to push it toward the shore. It’s headlights were on. The sun was peeking over the tops of the trees and I could see a hedge of bushes in front of me. I stopped the truck there and looked at a short wall. There was a subdivision of houses on the other side. I wanted to explore it.  I thought, “Should I take control of the dream?” I decided, “No, I think I will see where this takes me. I am curious.”

I jumped the wall and went up to a street sign. It was still very dark but I saw the street was S. 48th St. I knew it was far from my home. I walked along the streets for a while when a small mobile home caught my eye. It was well taken care of and I decided to explore it. I walked up the ramp leading the the front door. There was a very large grandfather clock taking up half the walkway. I bumped into it and it almost fell.

The door was open. I went inside and saw a small child laying on the sofa. She woke up crying and I picked her up. She looked Indian and was very small. She said her head hurt. I saw an Indian woman in the other room watching TV and went toward her. She panicked at first but then was concerned for the child, too. She said to me, “I knew someone would come looking for her mother.” The woman took us to a bed around the corner. The woman was there asleep. The child crawled up to her mom.

Then the woman told me their story. How the mom got sick and could not function. She had terrible, incapacitating headaches. Now her daughter was getting them, too. I went up to the woman who was conscious. I told her something like, “You have to learn to let go. You can’t control everything. You are killing yourself by trying.” I then told her three things she should stop trying to control but I can’t recall them now. I realized as I was telling her these things that my problem was also trying to control everything. I knew the dream had fulfilled its purpose then and I felt myself return to my body.

Interpretation

I am transitioning (bridge). There are others relying on me (people on bridge) and the message is it is important that I cross through this stage.

I feel restricted (lake) and am exploring my emotional state (swimming). I am trying to protect myself from emotional harm (goggles) and need to confront something in my waking life that I know is hurting me. I am told the situation is not as serious as I think and to relax (penguin). My emotions will subside (receding water) and guidance will be given (killer whale). Then I can pick-up where I left off (truck). I am seeking illumination (headlights). I go in search of solutions to what is holding me back (hedge and barrier). I find a situation that is temporary (mobile home) and am shown to not let my emotions get the better of me (headache). I give myself advice about control and am told to let go of certain issues, to trust all is working out as intended.

I find it interesting that I do not take over the dream but allow it to show me what I need to see. This is not common for me. While I am allowing the dream to show me things I am also observing it and learning from it to the point that I recognize it’s lesson and end the dream when the message is received.

When I woke up the song Complicated was going through my mind – “Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?”. lol Yet I feel a part of this message is not meant for me but for someone I know in my life – “I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated.” They spend the majority of their life acting like they are somebody else, but I know them, have seen their true self and it is frustrating to me that they continue to act like someone they aren’t to fit in. The message to both of us is to stop complicating life, to stop putting conditions on life (conditional thinking, putting conditions on people and situations), and to be true to ourselves. There is no need to pretend we are someone else. Honesty is needed.

by

4 OBEs, Same Theme

Slept nearly 12 hours last night! Whoa, right!? The K-Index was in and out of the yellow, too. Sometimes I sleep more with geomagnetic storms, sometimes not. Regardless, I had some dreams and a series of OBEs early this morning.

Dream: Bouncing Bullet

Dreamed of this small, bullet-sized ball that when thrown would ricochet off of everything. If it happened to hit someone, it would act like a bullet, piercing their skin and potentially killing them. Knowing this, I picked up a ball and threw it as hard as I could into the wall. It began to bounce off of everything with such speed I couldn’t track it. Someone warned me that I could die. As if to demonstrate my lack of fear, I put my hand to make sure the ball hit me and said, “I don’t care if I die.”

Interpretation

I have repressed anger (bullets) that could result in hurting someone or me. It don’t care and purposefully throw it and put myself in harm’s way. This indicates that I am reckless with my anger to the point that I am willing to accept the consequences of it no matter the end result.

sprout-008.jpg

Dream: Burning Lettuce and Asparagus

In this dream I was inside a women’s prison unit. I’m not sure why I was there but I took an interest in them and began to try and get to know the inmates. One inmate asked me point blank, “Why are you being so friendly?” I said to her, “I want to get to know you better.” The feeling from her was one of distrust and animosity which was understandable. She had committed crimes, some pretty bad ones (murder), and was being punished for them. I recall feeling immense compassion for her and wanting to hug her but I didn’t because her energy was not receptive.

Then I was outside with the female inmates. They were cooking food on open grills and enjoying their temporary freedom. I looked at the grills and instead of seeing the grill with coals underneath I saw a tiny garden. In the garden there were new sprouts and they were being cooked by a fire. Half the sprouts were lettuce and half were asparagus. I was horrified that they were cooking the garden and said, “You will kill all the plants!” I saw some of the sprouts were being spared. The others had small fired burning at their base and had a roasted look. One large asparagus shoot was not on fire. I said, “I don’t like asparagus anyway.”

Interpretation

The first part of this dream is me attempting to get to know other aspects of myself, aspects that maybe I am not proud of or who have done “bad” things. My Shadow self. The second half seems to be a consideration that my hard work (garden), abundance (lettuce) and prosperity (asparagus) are being destroyed (fire) before they ever completely materialize (sprouts). I try to make less of the situation by saying I disliked prosperity (asparagus).

4 OBEs

I woke up in between the dreams from a Kundalini dream. The Kundalini had been raging in my heart chakra and I said to someone, “I can’t resist it!” When I woke up I heard, “Then embrace it.”

Then I said to my guidance, “I want to project.” Not long after I entered into the in-between and began to hear noises-off, specifically a radio playing very loudly next to my head. I experienced almost no vibrations and found it difficult to tell if I had phased (gone OOB) or not. This occurred with all 4 OBEs.

In all of the OBEs I was in my bedroom, sat up OOB, tried to exit my bedroom and then re-entered my body. Re-entry happened at the exact moment of exiting the bedroom. It appears I was being told not to leave the vicinity of my sleeping body, but I’m not sure why. Two times I tried exiting through my bedroom door. The first time I re-entered as I was opening it. The second time I had actually opened the door but had a blanket wrapped around my foot keeping me from moving. In one another attempt to exit, I tried to leave via the window but the window was closed. I opened it, removed the screen and then began to jump/fly out the window. I never passed through the threshold. Finally, I tried to get to the window again and shifted back into my body before I could even touch the window.

In 3 of the OBEs my vision was on but the room was almost pitch black. The last OBE (the one where I opened the window) my vision came on and I saw the early morning light coming in the window. I began to sing to raise my vibration but I didn’t need to. My energy level was solid. There were thoughts in this OBE that movement was taking too long. I should be able to think myself to any location I desired. I felt to be slowed down. This all became apparent as I was opening the window. I knew I should have been able to just move through it but I was forced to use it like I would in physicality.

I had similar thoughts about movement in the other OBEs but I was blocked in the same way. I had to open the door. I couldn’t just go through it. Was it belief that trapped me in my bedroom? Was it to help me see how I feel trapped in life for similar reasons? Or was it to remind me that in physical reality we can’t just jump past the hard, boring or otherwise unwanted steps, we have to move through it all?

When I awoke the song, Stay With Me, came into my mind. I recognized a feeling from the early dreams of the night. The feeling told me that there was still some work to do at deeper levels. I need to handle my resistance to life. I heard something about being a part of the collective, reminding me that I am not here for just myself. It was not an accusation of being “selfish” by any means but a reminder that there are still remnants of the Ego, or small self, that are interfering and must be handled. I saw a visual of cobwebs sticking to me. They are extremely sticky. You can pull them off only to have them stick to your hands or some other body part. I guess that’s how these last remnants of the self are, too. They just adhere to another part and are difficult to get rid of.

 

 

by

Problem Solving Dreams

More dreams to document. Seems like I am working through a lot of life issues and a resistance to moving forward.

Dream: Coping with the Future

Something had happened that decimated the population of the planet. I was with a group traveling through the now mostly destroyed land. We came upon an open field with flocks of chickens roaming about. There was a large barn and mill located next to it and up the hill was a college. We discussed what might have happened had the college students known the chickens were there. Likely a fight or worse. But no one was there now. The sickness had taken the people and the chickens were all that was left.

We talked about how the chickens might be infected. There were some that were very erratic. We also discussed possibly staying there but decided instead to take a couple of eggs with us.

We moved along and found a patch of earth to plant a small garden in. We buried the eggs. I’m not sure why we did this. It seemed we thought the soil (accidentally wrote “soul” here) would incubate the eggs.

Not long after someone had come through and uprooted our plants and dug up and cracked one egg. One egg was hard boiled and was eaten. The other was lost. We discovered a small group nearby and they confessed. They welcomed us in and it seemed they had a nice community going but something felt off. We went driving into the nearby town (we called it Fairbanks) and saw some groups of survivors in tattered clothing. One family, a man, wife and two kids was walking by. The man had a very tiny, black and white puppy in his hands. I smiled at him and he chased our car trying to get handouts.

Then there was an entire scene about a man needing a lawyer. They searched for one and brought in a woman who he identified as his wife who he thought had died in the outbreak. He had a new partner and so did she and there was no issue between them.

Interpretation

This dreams seems to be all about moving forward, goals and commitment to them. I am discussing my fears (chickens) and my potential (eggs). I leave the fear behind and move on to focus on my potential, hoping for growth (burying them). I feel like all my hard work (garden) is destroyed. The people I know are not who they seem to be. Help is available if I ask (lawyer).

Parking-Violation-Sticker-D-2058

Dream: Parking Ticket in New York

I was invited to my mom’s but was very upset with her and gave her a piece of my mind about some things. I told her the energy was ruined and I couldn’t stay. She didn’t understand. I remember telling her, “Do you know you are spending $6k a year on them? That will be $18k in 3 years!”

I went into a side room to repaint a painting I had completed. I began to outline it but got paint all over some towels and eventually gave up because of so many mistakes. Then I saw I had been painting on the wrong side and the original painting was fine. It was a painting of the Earth from a distance with clouds and rainbows of color around it.

Then I was outside on a wooden deck. It had large holes in it where it rotted out. I was talking to my ex-in-laws about it. I ended up showing them a cool trick I could do. I believe I became pretty lucid here, almost to the point I could have taken over the dream. I was putting up my hands in front of me like hanging onto an invisible rope. Then I would let myself fall forward or backwards and it was like I was swinging on thin air. It felt really cool.

I left and went outside to drive home for the day. The scene felt different. I knew I was in N.Y., New York. It was raining outside and I opened the door to a very large, black pick-up. I got soaked in the process. Then I saw a huge sign on the front of my windshield. It said, “Do Not Leave Until You Pay.” I got out of the car (it stopped raining) and pulled off the sticker. Under it was a parking ticket. There were objects placed on my truck to keep me from driving away. I was about to get angry when I realized there was no point. The ticket was for $321 and I had to pay in order to go home.

There is a whole scene here where I seem to be going in circles. I realize I am getting nowhere once I figure it all out. I get frustrated and say aloud, “What is the point of all this! I want out!” I see in my mind a visual of two signs. The one on the left says, “Lesson 1”. The one on the right, which is double the size says, “Lesson 2”.

I wake up and I am angry.

Interpretation

The first part is again me dealing with family issues. The numbers are likely messages. 6 and 18. I am looking to recreate the picture of the situation but keep running into emotional messes (paint on towels) only to discover the painting is complete. There is a disconnect with my Self (holes in deck) being addressed. I am being advised to fully Trust that all is working out as it should (invisible rope section of dream). I am seeking to go Home (leaving from work). I see my life experience – work (the truck) – as negative (black). There is emotion with this (rain). I feel unable to move forward and lost (parking ticket). The number 321 is likely a message in and of itself. I can’t go Home until I finish what I started. The message “Do not leave until you pay” is a direct message. I am shown how cycles repeat and also given another direct message that I have two lessons that need to be learned.