Tag Archives: dream symbolism

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Long OBE

Wow, what a night! I had a 3 hour OBE, something that hasn’t happened to me in years. 

I woke up at 3am crying from a dream. The dream was of similar themes to dreams I’ve had in the past. I was all dressed up in formal wear with a group of people I know from my life currently (ex, his family mostly). The event reminded me of prom. We entered what reminded me of my old high school except it was a bit different with a metal detector type thing we had to walk through and iris scans of the eyes (lol). I was in a super good mood and very talkative. I noticed they were not interested in what I was saying, some of them looking annoyed. We all mingled together waiting for the other guests to arrive. I mentioned something I was considering. I said I wanted to get a personalize license plate that read “EWW PPL”. LOL – I had been talking about this the day before with my kids. Everyone looked at me like they were completely bored and disinterested, some annoyed. Finally, my ex-BIL laughed half-assed to try and make me feel better. No one joined him and he stopped as he felt their critical eyes on him. 

Feeling very unwanted, I excused myself to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and cried while thinking of all the similar times the exact scenario played out in my life with boyfriends, partners, friends and family. I am good one-on-one with them but as soon as I am in a group they are embarrassed by me and later say, “Why did you have to say that?” or “Why do you embarrass me like that?” or other similar comments. They are happy to be my friend/partner when we are one-on-one but when in groups I become an issue for them.

I got off the toilet and there was a big turd in it (LOL – symbolic of relieving myself of a burden) and as I flushed it I struggled to pull up my hose. I wiped my tears with TP and as I tossed it I saw more crap in the trashcan (I noted its meaning in the dream). As I turned around the bathroom door was gone and a man was standing there looking at me. I was still pulling up my hose but didn’t care if he saw. He asked me, “Are you okay? Why are you so quiet?”  I woke up, tears still in my eyes.

The dream is a reflection of my life for sure as is the last part where the guy was suddenly concerned about why I was so quiet. If I am talkative and attempt to blend in with the group, I am embarrassing and get scolded. If I am quiet then everyone is suddenly worried about me. I can’t win!

I couldn’t go back to sleep at first. I remembered a boyfriend I had years ago who was the exception to the above scenario. I felt bad for the way things ended with us. He was the only one out of so many boyfriends and friends who validated who I was and valued my contributions.

OBE

I asked to go OOB but didn’t think it would happen. I lingered in the in-between for a while thinking of the dream. Suddenly, I felt vibrations and was like, “OMG, vibrations!” (haven’t felt them in a while). I got too excited and lost them but rolled over and was OOB that easily.

I was in my grandparent’s old underground house. It looked like it did when I was young. On the sofa were my two boys. I went over and tapped one on the head. We interacted a bit but I can’t recall what we did. I remember how bright the kitchen was and noted the old gold linoleum, cabinets and countertops. I headed for the door and went out, flying up and hovering over the driveway which was dirt and not paved like it is now. I felt an unseen force begin to pull me backwards and I blacked out a bit. I decided to start singing and regained my vision. I was singing, “Amazing Grace” but sang it with different notes. I flew up over the barn and other parts of the farm. It was dark with a clear sky of stars.

At some point I returned to my body but immediately exited again. I found myself back in the house but this time it was a bedroom and bathroom. It looked like my mom’s room. It was a complete mess and I realized it was a reflection of her inner self. I began to pick up dirty clothes in an attempt to help/heal her. I took a pile to the laundry shute but it was different than real like, opening like a drawer. I put the pile in and it spilled out, old panty liners piled on top. I remember being surprised by the panty liners, they were all clean. The bathtub was next and was full of old, stagnant water. I attempted to drain it but it was clogged. I tried to stop the dripping but it was stuck. The tub was also round and yellowing from old age, not at all like reality.

I came back to my body briefly and then exited straight away. This time I was back in the living room of the old house. A young boy ran past and my boys yelled at him. I followed and found him in the bathroom. I said something to him and he gave me his shoes, the soles were coming off. I told him to get some glue sticks from the kitchen, which he did. I glued them on. He was a little black boy.

I went outside again and flew up into the air. I asked for clarity and assistance and felt the force again but it only turned me around. So I flew around some more enjoying the brisk night air and freedom of flight. I recall asking to see the galaxies above but when I tried to go higher I was stopped.

Again, I briefly returned to my body and then went out again. This time my mom was there. I mentioned her dirty room and how I tried to clean it. I explained that she should be concerned as it is a reflection of her spiritual state. Her response was that she no longer cared if things were messy. I understood. I told her I would help but she didn’t seem interested in changing anything. 

After this I decided to wake up. I felt rested and comfortable when I came to my body. No issues whatsoever with shifting back like irregular heart beat or an off feeling like I sometimes get. 

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Lucid Dream: You’re Dreaming

Woke at 5:30am and was awake only a short while. I didn’t want to wake up yet so went back to sleep.

I entered the dream aware I was dreaming straight away. I was in a house I have been to in other dreams. It feels like my mom’s house but isn’t. It has the same long driveway and a similar layout but is darker overall. There was a group of people there, some I recognized, others I did not. They all felt like family. My mom and my sister were there and so was the salesman from the furniture store (huh?). 

Mostly I remember realizing it was a dream and saying aloud to my invisible companion traveler, “Wow! Everything feels so real! It looks so real!” Then I went to each person and told them, “You’re dreaming.” I told the whole group, also. They seemed to listen. I wasn’t excited, just matter-of-fact. 

Then I went outside and decided to fly to test it. It was very easy and I went up super fast. Worried I would go where I didn’t want to go, I decided to will myself back down. It worked and I came down easily, however, there was a counterthought that suggested I let go and see where it took me. So, I did and a forced pulled me backwards swiftly. I went with it but lost my vision and felt my body in bed. I shifted positions and shifted back into the scene.

I was inside and all the people were seated together around a long table. I wondered what to do next. I saw my sister and went to her. I told her, “You’re awake you know.” She acted like she heard me but kept staring ahead like she was in a trance. I then whispered to her, “You can make things better if you would just get a job.” She said, “I have a job. I make $13.25/hr.” Then she told me about the job. I only remember that it was in a suppressive environment. I remember telling her it was good she had a job and that she just needed to be responsible and use the money wisely. 

The salesman I remembered was seated a the head of the table and he stated aloud to me and the group, “I know I’m asleep.” lol I found him strangely out of place.

The last thing I recall is that I went to the back door which was glass. I decided to try something I use to do all the time when OOB. I walked through the door and it worked! I expected to feel like I became the glass for a moment as I went through but the glass actually bowed outward like it was made of plastic wrap. So the sensation was of a resistance and then a sudden freedom when the glass opened up and let me through. 

Woke up and checked the time. It was 6:33am.

The dream feels to be a message to myself to remember that I am dreaming and not to take life so seriously. It also appears to be a reminder of how unaware the people in my life are they are also dreaming. So many of us sleepwalk through life. I have been doing so lately and am finally waking up again. 🙂

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Two Vivid Dreams

Dreams were vivid last night.

Virus!

This dream seemed to go on all night.

I downloaded a game and it turned out to be a virus. It popped up on my screen and made it impossible to access anything else on my computer. I tried everything but it wouldn’t go away. The final try option was to force quit the computer and then boot it in safe mode so that I could open it from a previous backup. When I was at my wits end, I checked my phone looking up the name of the game/virus to see if there was an easier fix, one that didn’t mean I would end up losing data. The results were pages upon pages of a backstory with characters, etc. Not interested in all of that, I went to the end of the printout hoping to find the solution. What I discovered was that the only way to get rid of the virus was to play the game through to the end. I saw that I had to master all five levels which were named. The names were names of people (can’t recall them now). The minute I saw this I knew it was not something I wanted to do and so went to reboot the computer in safe mode so that I could return to an earlier backup and rid myself of the virus. 

Pursuit

The dream began with me being offered first dibs on a house that was being sold by an old friend. I don’t remember who this friend was but he felt like someone from my mother’s church. I forgot and later passed by the house which brought back the memory. I went to the house and found three young adults inside. I learned they were renting the home for three times what I would have paid for it. 

I looked around noticing there was a tiled pool in the back yard that was nearly empty of water. It was quite shallow for a pool but in nice condition. I remember saying, “I didn’t know pools could be completely tiled like that.” I also noticed an old freezer whose door wouldn’t close all the way. I said, “Guess it’s never hot in here.” 

As I left I got into an old yellow car and noticed I was blocked by other cars from people arriving to the house. As I opened the passenger side door I saw a purse laying on the ground. It was full of pill bottles. I threw it into the car and went to ask if they could move the cars. They agreed and I got into my car. It moved on its own, though, going too fast, downhill on the lawn. The brakes were little help but I made it to the main road where a delivery man had pizza for the people in the house.

As I drove onto the main road, two people followed, a man and a woman. They kept following and I yelled for them to stop because it was creepy. As I drove down the main road they pursued me. I went faster, but even though they were on foot they were close behind.

Eventually the car was gone and I was running towards a building looking behind me the whole time. Inside the building I ran down hallways but the people were always close behind. I came to a doorway, opened it and saw it could be locked from the inside so I went in and locked it. Feeling safer, I slowed down and investigated the space. It had many doors and a long hallway that led to a larger room with windows all around. I checked the doors for a way out of the building. They were either all closets or dark rooms. I soon realized I had locked myself in place where the only exit was right into the path of my pursuers. 

I decided I would just hide out and considered my options. I was sure at some point my pursuers would find a way in to get me. I could hide under a counter or open a window or hide outside. It was a long way down, though, and I knew I couldn’t survive long without food or water. 

Interpretations

I am certain the first dream is about my options regarding life. I am being shown that I selected this “game” to play and now I have only two choices – play the game to the end or opt out and start over, losing all “data” I’ve gathered in the time I’ve been in the game. To play to the end means mastering five levels, each one with a person’s name attached, people I have agreements with. When I chose to reboot (start over) I had a feeling that I didn’t have any other choice. Playing the game to the end was just not an option.

The second dream is mostly about feeling trapped and knowing I will have to face my fears at some point. It is likely a continuation of the first dream “discussion” (I know the dreams stem from a discussion with my Team). 

The beginning of the dream is likely me being reminded about a contract. I am inside a “home” that I had promised to buy but I find it occupied and decide not to take on the task of ownership. The pool in the back is almost empty. I had a pool dream yesterday of constructing a pool and it being filled with water but it was all black and white. I wanted to paint it to give it color and was told I needed to wait for the water level to go down naturally (evaporate). Being this pool has no water it seems to be an extension of yesterday’s dream. The freezer being open is symbolic of hidden, frozen emotion that is leaking out into the house. When I discuss with them the price of the home I feel they got an unfair deal. In that moment I think I could help them but I don’t.

I decide to leave (choice made). The car (life path) and the pills (avoidance) is hard to control. The pizza is wholeness and is being delivered to the house I am leaving. Then I am followed by people who I feel want to cause me harm (my fear of something unknown). I end up trapping myself out of fear. 

Considerations

My Team has been making themselves known. There are a lot of them, at least 12. I only get that much attention when I need it, usually when at a crossroads or crisis point. It seems that I may be approaching an exit point where I choose between continuing to play this game or quit. It may or may not mean I will leave this body and life. It could just be that this particular contract I took on has proved too much and I take another path. 

It appears that I am being asked to confront fears regarding this particular path/lesson. Why do I feel the two people pursuing me have ill intent? Maybe they are trying to tell me something important? Maybe they need my help? Maybe they want to share the pizza (wholeness) with me? lol I don’t stick around to find out and end up trapping myself. Ultimately I will have to confront the people (my fear) and learn what it has to teach me. Avoiding it will only delay the inevitable. 

Prior to bed last night I had a thought that seemed to be part of a conversation that I was not fully conscious of. The thought was that I did not want to die and leave behind my mom and three children. I would never do that to them. My mother would be devastated. My death would be too much. After a pause I heard my sister’s name and with it came memory of an OBE where my deceased father visited me. He didn’t come all that way for me. He came to make sure I would help my sister.

At this point I must still be in limbo because when I woke up I felt uneasy.

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OBE: Horseman

Woke at 4:30am thinking of all the things I need to get done before my trip to Cancun next Wednesday. It was mostly work stuff because I have to get a lot done before I leave. No one can do my job except me, really, which makes it hard for me to go on vacation without having to take my laptop and work on-the-go (which I refuse to do).

It took me a while to settle my mind and body, but I guess I did because I entered a lucid dream.

OBE: Horseman

My mind was still going over all the things I need to do in the dream but I was aware I was dreaming. I found myself in a dark landscape. I couldn’t make out much except two dirt roads that intersected at one point. 

As I wandered around this area I was talking to myself and a masculine energy. In my mind I could see images, some of the landscape others of a computer screen. I remember receiving/seeing email messages. The subject lines were familiar. I realized they were things I had written and someone was sending them back to me. I was alarmed because it appeared I was being warned about the future via my own written words. Other emails were long love poems which I read aloud and enjoyed. I don’t remember any of what I read now, though. All of the emails were from a familiar person whose image I could recall in my mind. But, again, my memory of this is limited. All I remember is dark hair and knowing this person had been in contact with me in the past and so seemed to be “stalking” me (but not in a negative way).

Then my focus went to the gray landscape. I soon realized I could traverse it by feel and that the email communications were located there. I would “touch” upon a spot and see or feel things. While one spot brought forth a major sexual feeling, another would reveal an email or would only illicit curiosity.

As I floated/walked towards the center of where the two dirt roads intersected, I told the masculine energy, “This is where my house will be”. I turned and looked across the darkness, the road intersection glowed, and I realized I was standing on the covers of my bed, the bed in which my physical body was sleeping.

For some reason this didn’t surprise me one bit. I shifted into the body in the bed and thought to myself, “I wonder…?” The thought turned to immediate action as I rolled over and off the bed. I recall thinking I might hit the floor so redirected my thoughts so that I floated instead.

As soon as I rolled off the bed I found myself in a bedroom. It was still very dark but all my perceptions were available and I thought to myself, “I will see when I want to.” 

I floated towards the door slowly, enjoying the sensations of being OOB and thinking to myself that I need to pay attention and enjoy what little time I had OOB. 

When I reached the door, I grabbed onto the doorknob and opened the door. I held onto the knob for a while, recognizing it was not really there but amazed at how real it felt. As I looked up I turned on my vision and was blown away by what was in front of me.

The first thing I focused on was the sky. Fluffy clouds and azure blue backlit by the rays of the sun greeted me along with an entire chorus of voices singing in harmony. There were no words to the song, just “Ahh, ahh, ahh….” The chorus was unlike anything I’d heard in this body, but I have heard before it while OOB. Not only was there sound, but the music had color and feeling. Every note permeated the scene and painted it with colors. I could feel my energy body vibrating; my soul felt in tune with everything. The end result was pure joy and the thought, “It is SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!”

I had let go of the doorknob and floated up to the rooftop, holding onto the edge so that I wouldn’t be sucked up into the beautiful chorus of clouds. Branches of trees were at eye level and appeared to sway with the music. I began to sing along with the chorus of voices as I gazed in awe at my surroundings.

I glanced over the top of the roof and saw a brilliant, glowing orb – the sun. It was just peaking over the horizon, its rays casting a brilliance over the landscape. For a moment it looked like there were two identical suns. I blinked, and the lower one vanished before my eyes and the top one continued to slowly rise upward until it was sitting an inch or so above the horizon.

That’s when I saw a man on a horse galloping at top speed in my direction. He seemed to appear from the sun itself! A small, brilliant white light glowed where his hands were holding the reigns. Was he holding a lantern? IDK but the light illuminated him enough that I could tell his horse was brown and he was not a “dark horseman” or sinister in any way.

Before I knew it, the man had galloped across my line of sight and disappeared to my right, just out of my peripheral. I somehow knew he would circle around to meet me. This concerned me and I whispered, “Don’t come over here. Don’t come over here.” The chorus of voices was still singing as I returned to my body.

Considerations

As body awareness returned, I didn’t move, hoping I would return to the scene and confront whoever this horseman was. Why didn’t I want to me him? Unfortunately, my mind was wide awake and thinking too much again. Sleep wasn’t going to return.

As I went through the OBE experience in my mind, the memory of it brought tears to my eyes. I could still hear the chorus of voices, see the magnificent scene and feel the overwhelming joy. I thanked my guidance for giving me such a gift. I was pleased that I recognized the gift that it was and took the opportunity to take in every beautiful part of it. 

I wondered about the horseman. When I first saw him I thought of him as a knight or someone coming to assist me. Later, I worried because he was so dark and my thoughts went to the apocalypse. I almost forgot about the light he carried but when I remembered, I knew whoever he was, he was good. 

The symbolism is promising. The sun is rising – hope, new beginnings, new life, the promise of a new day. That the horseman came galloping out of the sun is also promising and points to something new and positive. 

I don’t know if the email and communication at the beginning of the experience is linked to the OBE – probably. The crossroad are vivid in my memory; a choice is coming. That I was talking about building a new house indicates yet another positive. 

I love, love, love that I found myself wandering on top of the covers of the bed I was sleeping in. How cool is that!? Fantastic! 

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Kundalini Dream: Blue Triangle

I’ve been sleeping deeply and having lots of dreams the last few days. Most haven’t been too interesting but last night the Kundalini was present. It wasn’t typical but the energy was present none-the-less.

K Dream – Blue Triangle

I was with a group of others. We were all youngish (20’s maybe) and seemed to either be in water or floating in a bluish colored space. I remember some other info but it is random faces and conversations that don’t make much sense. 

What I recall most vividly is lining myself up horizontally with my feet pointed towards the front of the space where a man was standing and facing to my left with both his arms outstretched. As I floated there, the man initiated an electrical current that looked blue as it shot out of his arms and hands. Like lightning, it moved towards another person (a man I think) who was horizontal and facing me. Within a few seconds the current went through the second man and hit me, entering via the head and moving through to my feet. The energy exited my toes and completed the circuit into the man who initiated it. 

I distinctly recall the way the energy felt when it hit me and traveled through me. The initial sensation was like I had been mildly shocked and my whole body arched upward slightly. As it moved through me I could feel a distinct difference between the left and right sides of my body. The left side was a solid, uninterrupted flow of energy that felt comfortable and somewhat rejuvenating. There was no disturbances in the flow to the point that it seemed like my head, body and feet were indistinguishable as separate parts. On the right side of my body, on the other hand, there was an interruption of the flow in my legs which felt uncomfortable but not painful. The energy was intermittent and pulsed and with each pulse it was like the initial shock and caused my right leg to flinch.

When the current was cut off, everyone in the room was excited and applauded. I felt extremely accomplished and talked to a woman who had been with me the entire time. She asked me about my experience and I told her about the energy differences I sensed. I was proud that my body cooperated and told her had it not been for the left side of my body being a perfect conduit, the consistent flow would’ve stopped with me. 

The triangle of energy that we formed together was beautiful – a magnificent, electrical blue. The feeling I had was satisfaction. 

As the group mingled, there was an air of anticipation and excitement. It felt like, as a group, we had been working hard and had made great progress. We were all looking forward to what came next. I had a brown bag in my hands that was filled with fresh baked breads like bagels and mini-loaves. The woman asked, “Is that a homemade bagel?” I said, “Yes it is.” She asked, “Can I have one?” I handed it to her and she accepted it and took a big bite.

When we were leaving I was talking to the woman about the next time we would connect and said, “I want to be the one who initiates”. In my mind I remembered how the man initiated the flow of energy. I really desired doing what he did.

Considerations

The dream ended and I woke up briefly. No energy remained but the visuals of the energy flow were fresh on my mind as was the memory of how the energy felt when it flowed through me. I don’t know why it didn’t wake me because it was quite strong. 

Overall, the dream feels positive. I can relate to my right side being a bit less “conductive” and it is promising that the energy made it all the way to my legs before being interrupted. So, I am feeling reassured. Whatever the K has cleared, it is much more than I thought.

The bagel at the end is symbolic of various things. To just have a bagel symbolizes good times ahead after a period of struggle. To give a bagel to someone indicates a friend may need my help or to offer assistance to another. Seeing someone else eat a bagel symbolizes loneliness. 

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Letter to Myself

March 6 – Message: The Outlet Can’t Handle the Load

I dreamed I was being counseled by a woman. There are flashes of memory in which I encountered people in my life who I no longer have contact with both living and dead. I vaguely recall seeing my friend’s deceased father and her brother, but I vividly recall seeing my ex-husband and the feelings I had resulted in tears. It seemed like I was grieving the past, specifically that I did not show love as often as I should and my regret about that. There was also a sense that everything in my past didn’t matter; that it was just a waste of my time and energy. 

The woman who was counseling me asked me to write myself a letter. She gave me an example, reciting her own letter to herself. The sense was that in the not too distant future I will be very different and the letter will help me to recognize the changes in myself. 

All this discussion happened amidst a dream taking place in the background that would occasionally shift to the foreground. In the dream I was inside an RV helping clean (healing) up the space. I grabbed a hand-held vacuum and joined a man who had a larger one. I focused on what looked like tiny worms (regrets) the size of a grain of rice that appeared to be dead (in the past). When I began to vacuum the power suddenly dropped and the suction stopped. I turned and noticed three other people vacuuming. The man next to told me I needed to stop cleaning and let them finish for me. His said, “The outlet can’t handle the load“. I also remember hearing “44 watts” was the max load. I took this to mean I stopped “cleaning” (participating in the healing work) at the age of 44. Now I need to let them (my guides) do the work for me.

Letter to Myself

When I woke, I remember hearing, “2025” and I felt disappointed and frustrated. The message I got was that it was not long but to me, three years feels like an eternity. I am so tired of waiting. I’m bored and disinterested in life. I told my guidance that I didn’t like this place or experience and the torture of all this waiting. I wondered if there was any way to not feel like this or is it just my burden to bear in this life? They told me they could help and I got a sense of how – an unexpected, exciting invitation – and I replied with, “But it never lasts and I am back to waiting so quickly.” It does seem that way – a never-ending game of waiting.

Since I was advised to write myself a letter, I guess I will.

Dear Future Me,

I hope you have gotten where you wished to go in life and that you are finally feeling fulfilled and interested. 

You deserve it. 

Life is short. Take advantage of each moment, each tiny opportunity, while you can because it will be in the past before you know it. 

It is not your fault. Remember that.

Focus on what you love and disregard the rest. It is a waste of your time and energy.

Love,

Me

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Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

Prior to bed last night I was thinking about something the teacher said in my Rave ABC class about Reflectors and some Projectors (those like me whose split charts have no centers defined). She said that their experience of life is surprise. Nothing turns out as expected, so they are always surprised by what life brings them. I thought to myself, “Not me. My inner voice tells me what is going to happen!” As normal, I got a reply to my thought. It asked, “Do you know what is going to happen now?” I thought about how all of this Knowing seemed to have gone silent recently and said, “No. I don’t know and that’s okay.” 

My mind wandered to our recent RV purchase. We tried it out this weekend because my husband couldn’t wait to use it. We stayed at my mom’s without hookups on a very cold night and it was not very enjoyable. The next day we went to the lake, which was much better, though I was very tired and developed a headache.

An internal dialogue commenced about the RV – Was it a good idea? What will become of it? Will it be used as I intended or will my husband take it over? 

I got an inquiry from within, as if saying, “Do you want to know?” I answered that I didn’t care and would accept the outcome regardless. I laughed at my reply because the HD Analyst had told me my life experience was a continual not-Knowing followed by moments of clarity/Knowing only to return to not-Knowing. 

I slept amazingly well last night and had an unexpected lucid moment and opportunity to go OOB.  

Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

I don’t know what was happening before I became lucid. I just became lucid all of a sudden.

Standing in front of me was a tall, thin man with blonde hair, blonde stubble on his face, and blue eyes. He seemed friendly and familiar. It felt like he had called me there because when he approached he had something to tell me. I decided to ask him, “What’s your name?” He said something like, “Tiff” (it started with a T) and I said, “Okay.” I remember being very pleased with myself for remembering to ask him his name. He then invited me to go with him. I assumed he meant traveling OOB as I was quite lucid and knew I was in the perfect state to do so. I said, “Sorry, I’m just too tired.” 

Accepting my answer he told me, “You have 433 [days] left.” When he said this, though, I was anticipating what he was saying and was thinking, “Hours, minutes, days, months….” I don’t know if he actually said “days”, it could have been me deciding that was what he meant. I also thought he was indicating how much time I had left to live, but afterward doubted this and decided it was more like a countdown to some event or life change. Regardless, I didn’t overthink the message, knowing that all too often I get cryptic messages from random people or guides while lucid. 433 days from now is March 27, 2023.

More lucid than I was before, I suddenly knew who the man was and asked him, “Wait, I know who you are. We’ve met several times. You’re Klaus!” He smiled and replied with, “Yes. We have met before and will meet again.” I asked, ” Why did you give me a different name?” I then remembered/heard, “We have many names”, and repeated that to him. He said, “Yes, We do.”

He had a distinct German or Nordic accent and I realized when I said “Klaus” that I said it with a similar accent. 

I hugged him and reached up to kiss him. In that moment I was really happy that I was getting to see him again and felt a connection to him. I wanted to initiate an energetic merge, but he pulled away and said something like “Not now” or “This isn’t the time for that”. His words were more of a telepathic feeling. I didn’t feel upset at the “rejection” but accepted that he was not there for that purpose. 

More was said but my lucidity dropped quickly and I moved into a dream scene.

Dream: Mongoose-Eating Cats

In this dream I continued to talk to Klaus as the dream story unfolded.

I was traveling along the road leading to my mom’s house, a road I am very familiar with in this life as I have traveled it numerous time. In fact, I was just on it Sunday. My mode of travel was flying. I moved fast, hovering as if a ball of energy. The sensation of it was very much familiar and I enjoyed moving in this way.

I saw debris littering various portions of the road. There were rectangular boxes full of supplies that had spilled out onto the road. I didn’t look close, preferring to look ahead. I saw a red car on the corner. It’s front end up crumpled up as if it had hit something very hard. I looked inside but no one was there. I couldn’t find what the car hit and briefly wondered what happened.

Another car pulled up and a man and a woman were inside. One was holding a piece of paper in his hands and I knew they were the occupants of the wrecked car. I decided to leave and fly towards my mom’s house.

Along the way I saw more debris. It looked like someone had just dumped their living room furniture in the middle of the road. Traffic was coming towards me and I decided to flash my headlights (I wasn’t in a car so not sure how I did this). None noticed and I figured they would be forced to slow to avoid the debris. One vehicle, a small bulldozer, did slow. I remember telling it to be careful. I recall seeing a set of empty book shelves standing in the road.

When I got to my mom’s house it looked different. It was more like a greenhouse than a house, with glass panels covering all sides and the roof. Inside were many house cats and another woman, my mom I think.

There were also these little ferret-looking creatures that were very playful and active. Many of these creatures had babies and I picked them up and cuddled with them. My mom showed one of her cats a baby and the cat hissed and tried to bite it. We decided to keep the cats away.

I went into the main house. Inside was no furniture and a very spacious layout. Where furniture should’ve been were potted plants placed strategically in a grid pattern on the carpet. There were more cats inside as I walked through looking at all the greenery. 

When I went back outside I saw the baby ferret creatures were playing near the front entrance where they entered through a cat door. A cat lounged nearby, barely noticing them. I asked my mom about the danger, suddenly recalling the name of the animals: Mongoose. She said the cats wouldn’t hurt the them.

Then I noticed tiny, white feet with no bodies littering the area. They looked like cat feet but I saw them as baby mongoose feet. I imagined the cat eating everything but the feet. I was horrified and grabbed a cat sleeping nearby and pushed it out the window. Then I saw where the kill must have happened, a wet area of concrete, and pointed it out to my mom. Just as I did this, a sprinkler located in the ground turned on and sprayed me hard in the face. My mom laughed. I woke up. 

When I woke up, the first thing on my mind was that the wet spot in the concrete was not a kill site at all but a sign that water was present. I thought, “I should’ve known that would happen.”

Dream Interpretation

It seems like the wreck and furniture along the road to my mom’s house is symbolic of some “impact” that results in an emptying of the contents of the home (life path/journey). In this case the contents appear to be tools (life strategy) and empty bookshelves (place to hold knowledge). The home has a greenhouse (place of growth) and is full of cats (divine feminine, feminine sexuality). The baby mongoose (playful, mischievous tendencies) is eaten by the cat (feminine sexuality). The inside of the house is empty except for plants (strategic growth). This aligns with the furniture on the road.

The dream in its entirety feels like I am being shown a future potentiality, though I don’t really know what to make of it. My mom’s house has transformed in the dream to a place of growth, full of cats and mongoose. This could indicate the two become one, in that the cat consumes/integrates the mongoose. My “mom” may be a wiser version of me, or could be my actual mom. My best guess is mom = my wiser or higher self. 

Whatever the dream indicates will happen it is certain that it will be a shock or surprise, one that pulls me out of my seriousness and catches my attention. This is indicated at the end of the dream where I am caught off-guard by a sprinkler spraying me in the face.

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Kundalini Dream, OBE, and Message

Happy Halloween! I hear the energies are intense today – solar flares? The only evidence I have of this intensity is from dreamtime. Happy to share. 🙂

Kundalini Dream: 1 Year

I was in a familiar dream location. It consisted of two home about 100 feet apart connected by a narrow walkway. The homes were round, hut-like buildings with thatched roofs, small windows and stone flooring. I only recall snippets of the other dreams I’ve had there, but apparently it is a place I frequent at times. 

Inside the hut on the left was myself and two others, a man and a woman. I felt like their child and the woman was talking to me about preparations. The specifics of these preparations are lost to me except for the symbolism, which, to me, is pretty obvious. The man stepped forward and it was clear to me that he and I were to be “paired”. Uncertain, I questioned the pairing because I knew this man was my “uncle”. The woman explained that it was time and urged me to accept, which I finally did. I recall her encouraging me to go with the man whose hand was held out to me. Though I don’t remember the man’s appearance specifically, he was wearing a long, tan robe with a thick, colored sash at his waist. I took his hand but hesitated, looking around me as my lucidity began to increase.

The woman was insistent. She physically pushed me forward toward the man and said, “We must hurry. The entire process is a long one. It will take a year before any eggs are produced.” It was odd to hear the word “egg”. In that moment, I saw a bunch of chickens pecking around at my feet and wondered if I was one since how else would I become a producer of “eggs”? 

The man’s hand in my own and my decision clear, I went with him. I could feel his hand in my own and a familiar, strong energy began to swirl in my root chakra. The upward pull of the desire that was kindled there woke me and as I lingered in bed, the energy remained creating an ache within to go “up, up, up!”

Symbolism

I sat with the energy as the dream symbolism became clearer. Two circular huts = masculine and feminine. Man and woman = masculine and feminine. Uncle = soul family. The pairing = Union. Eggs = new, unhatched potential; the energy of life. Chicken = cowardice (mine lol). 

The energy continued to linger in my root. It was not the strongest I’ve ever felt but it was quite distracting. The energy was moving up but very sluggishly. Eventually I decided to position myself flat on my back with a pillow over my head and my arms crossed over the top of the pillow. Rather than focus on the energy, making it stronger and more unbearable, I relaxed into it. The energy moved up easily to my heart and a warmth spread out from there. 

Recalling how at other times I needed a catalyst to get the energy moving, I started thinking of those times, hoping to be assisted in a similar way. A male voice from my right indicated that though that was one way, there was another. The male voice then asked me if I wanted to learn/experience more. I recall asking for protection, shielding my aura just in case. The last thing I remember was hearing some instructions (can’t recall the specifics) and affirming that I wanted to proceed. 

Lucid to OBE: Soaring Free 

To my surprise, I ended up in a lucid dream. I was inside my old bedroom at my mom’s house and two of my children were with me. I sat on the bed and my two children were on either side of me. We all had laptops and mine indicated a message was received. When I went to check, I read a message from someone I did not know but who wanted to connect with me. There was a name that started with an “A”
but other than that I just know he was indicating that he wanted to get to know me. I remember almost becoming fully lucid here because I knew that I had not received any emails in real time but tossing the idea of dreaming because it felt “so real.”

I clicked on a link and a video popped up on a huge screen in front of my face. Surprised, I turned to my daughter to see if she noticed, but she didn’t. The video was of an older man and a younger one – father and son. The younger one was making a music video and the father was producing it. Both men had dark hair but other than that I can’t recall what they looked like. There was lots of dancing and I recall being pulled into the video for a short time.

When I came back out of the video, my vision had gone completely dark and I knew I was dreaming. I moved out of the bedroom towards the front door, put my hand on the knob and opened it. Outside my vision started to gradually turn on. The entire front area was a cast in reddish shadows and I remember wanting it to be daylight and knowing just my desire for the light would bring it. Sure enough, the light came and fully illuminated the space.

I took flight immediately, singing as I flew, going up to just above the tops of the trees. I flew up to the main road and saw below me a truck pulling a wheel barrow. I yelled down to warn the driver but knew I was too high. Another truck followed behind and I decided to move on, flying higher.

The pull upward was strong but I again decided to level out, knowing just my desire to do so would keep me from being pulled out and into “space”. I looked down in awe at the trees and landscape below me. I could feel the wind buffeting the clothes on my body. I tore off my shirt, losing vision in my left eye momentarily as the fabric stuck on my head. Completely naked from the top up, I felt an amazing sense of freedom. I remember thinking, “It’s so beautiful!” 

The entire time I flew, I was singing words I can’t recall. What I sang described how I was feeling, though, and the more I sang, the more free I felt.

Eventually, I shifted back to the house. Inside, I saw two dark haired young men lounging on the sofa.  Both looked at me and the feeling I got from them was interest. Not really interested at the time, I flew around, flipping and zig-zagging around the house and enjoying the freedom of my astral body. Oddly, I felt my previously removed shirt put back on me, as if folded around me like a blanket. I wanted it off, but knew it needed to stay. 

Eventually, the energy of my very active root and second chakra filtered through to the experience and I turned back towards the men. They looked identical and I wondered which one I should approach, eventually selecting the one to my left. I flew like an acrobat towards him, landing perfectly on his lap facing him. He looked shocked and I laughed because the position was obviously sexual. I kissed him, feeling a very puny tongue in my mouth, and an intense electric shock to my root woke me up. 

Music Message: When You’re Ready Come and Get It

There was no energy shift when I returned to my body. The energy was still present but only a subtle warmth remained. Knowing the experience was over, I opened my eyes and then curled up happily on my side, relishing the remaining blissful energy. I had been singing when I returned but the words shifted immediately to a familiar song. The words were clearly a message, “When you’re ready come and get it….”

Dreams such as the one above are clearly indicating that some “process” is occurring, or will be. That I was willing and did not resist out of fear is a good sign. The fear is illogical, of course, but I am and have been aware of it. The fear is of the unknown but also of an inner Knowing that what awaits me is another kind of “death”, one that is highly attractive and terrifying at the same time – the familiar signature of the Kundalini. 

The OBE was a nice surprise. The symbolism of it indicates a desire to feel free and unrestrained. Trucks = work. Wheelbarrow = difficult task. The shirt being taken off = desire to be unrestrained. The shirt being put back = message to take it slow, restraint is needed now. The twin men = twin energies, Union. 

I really shouldn’t be surprised by the events of this morning. Two days ago I received a message from my guidance. It came out of the blue and no explanation was needed. The message was, “You’re heart will open again.” When I heard this I got a bit panicked but was reassured with, “You will be okay.” A typical calming statement by my guidance but it works, and I’m glad it does.

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Ser-Vive!

Another memorable dream.

Dream: Ser-Vive!

The beginning of the dream is hazy. I remember traveling in the mountains. There was lots of snow and many pauses along the way. My husband and children were with me but they were always in my peripheral. My husband was occasionally within view but blurry. What I do recall of his looks does not match my husband in this lifetime. Instead of fair hair and eyes, the man I saw had dark, almost black hair, pale skin and a sinewy build. 

As we traveled there was discussion that seemed to go on in the background. As I recall it now, it is clear that I was conversing with my guidance and the dream morphed from that conversation. Only bits and pieces of info remain along with the accompanying visuals. 

I remember recognizing the “four elements” and seeing them appear as colors in my visual field alongside the dream scenario that was playing out. For example, brown was Earth and red/orange was Fire. In my dream, I sat selecting colors to form a rainbow and was especially seeking the Air and Water elements. For some reason, I selected green because I noticed it was missing in the rainbow. I selected it to represent Water while blue represented Air and put a beautiful orange and yellow alongside the red recognizing their combination to create Fire.

At one point I was standing outside in the snow with a mother and her daughter. She was taking photographs but the image was not clear. It was so cold that the ice crystals were suspended in the air. At the time I was traveling with my husband to our destination, climbing into a large, black truck or SUV. I recall a voice whispering to me, our discussion in the background of the dream moving me along the path of my dream experience. The destination was stressed as important. It felt almost as if I were reading an epic fantasy novel where the protagonist was being ushered towards their purpose by supporting characters. 

The destination turned out to be a cave located somewhere in the mountains. When we entered the cave, a mystic was waiting for us. I don’t know the mystic’s gender as it shifted constantly as did his/her face. The mystic was hunched over, held a staff in hand and wore a brown cloak. The mystic said, “It’s about time.” 

On the floor in front of the mystic was a man laying face down and splayed out as if he had fallen from a great height. Was he dead? No. It was clear that he represented the future and I knew somehow that the man that was with me would become the man on the floor but not yet. We were in the place of no-time – somewhere between the past and the future but not in the present.

The mystic spoke to my “husband” asking him if he knew why he was there. I don’t remember the conversation but it was positive. My husband seemed to know exactly why he was there. He had a purpose to fulfill and a destination to reach. The mystic nodded, pleased at the response he received.

Then my husband shifted from beside me to the floor. I don’t recall seeing him after that.

Next, the mystic asked me the same questions. I don’t recall my answer, just that I felt undecided how to answer. What was the right answer? Would I say the wrong thing? Unlike my “husband” my purpose was not clear to me. I didn’t feel to have a destination at all, actually.

Sadly, much of what we said is lost to my memory now, which is likely how it is suppose to be. What I remember happening was that the Mystic told me my purpose was to “survive”. I didn’t like hearing this. What do you mean, survive? That seems so pointless. 

The mystic said to me, “I have a letter for you.” I could see the letter as the mystic pulled it out. I don’t know what words were said here but the letter felt to be one written between myself and my husband, though I don’t know if I wrote to him or him to me. It felt like I was being offered this letter. I wanted to read it but for some reason I didn’t take the letter. Instead, my mind drifted as I thought of how pointless my life felt. 

There was a long pause. I remember saying, “Why did I go back to him (my “husband” in the dream)?” I am thinking this man was my ex in this life, but he most obviously isn’t! Yet I Know I return to him over and over again, his destination becoming my own for a while. Why?

I soon realized I had shifted into my mind, caught up in the questions I had about my “husband”.

Eventually, it became clear that the mystic had turned away from me focusing elsewhere. I didn’t want that so I questioned the mystic. The mystic said, “You don’t want to stay”. At the time it felt like the mystic meant I didn’t want to stay there in that cave and wanted to leave. In hindsight I believe what the mystic meant was I did not want to stay in this life and fulfill my purpose so then there was no point in continuing our discussion.

Concerned, I told the mystic I did want to continue and so the mystic turned back toward me. 

What I recall next is a mixture of thoughts and visuals. I do not know what was said first, or last. The progression is lost and I believe this to be the result of being in the Now where all is experienced at the same time.

I recall being asked how I serve others. My answer was that I use my Voice – I tell them what they need to hear. There was a strong pulling sensation in my throat when I said this, like knowledge was moving into my throat and out of my mouth.

The word “survive” came up again but this time along with the word “service”. My mind went to certain ideas that have been coming to me recently, ideas about volunteering, helping others, and just generally being of service however I can. Yet, I have no idea how to go about this and so just push it out of my mind because no one is asking me for my help. I feel I must be invited, but invitations don’t come very often. This left me with a feeling of failure, even more so now that I was being reminded that service is why I am here. 

Then I recalled a vision I had long ago when my gifts first materialized. In it I was standing in a mist between heaven and earth (or at least two places), assisting those on one side to get to the other. I was also reminded of how I brought my “husband” to the cave where he continued on to his final destination. Thus, I saw myself as a kind of escort, taking people from one point to another. I took people to their destinations (purpose), but I had no “destination” of my own, not really. I just moved back and forth over and over again.

For some reason, learning this made me extremely sad. How awful to not have a destination except that of the person I am currently helping! What of my own destination!!?

The word service was repeated and the scene shifted.

I was now standing with my mother who was beside a bed with a pile of luggage. She was going on a trip and had all her belongings packed. She stood with a small bag in her hands. Inside were many cassette tapes. She was smiling as she looked down at them. She told me they were recorded songs given to her by her husband to keep her company on her long journey. I knew she was preparing to leave and said, “I have some great songs you could take with you. Would you like them?” She seemed undecided. I remember mentioning one song. If she could just take one, I think she would like it. My mom agreed but then I remembered and said, “Oh, I left it at home.” In my mind I saw a CD case full of CD’s stored under my bed. 

Then, I woke up.

Considerations

As I awoke I knew the scene with my mother was an example of my purpose. It confused me, though. The symbolism of my mom with her packed luggage seems to point to her exiting this life, her luggage full of memories. I knew in the dream that she was leaving soon and that everyone leaves this place eventually. Then, so must I, correct? We all eventually die, our destination being Home, correct?

Then my guidance reminded me that I volunteered to be here. I am a volunteer. Maybe my Home (destination) is different?

This is when the word “Wayshower” came to my mind. Is that what I am? Is that what the vision meant? I’m escorting people their destinations? I pause and think, “Not that again (Wayshower, volunteer, guide, etc).” lol

The Ferryman comes to mind but then that doesn’t fit exactly, just the going back and forth, over and over again. Sigh.
So, then, my Home is not the same Home my mom is returning to? Or is it?

I don’t understand. 

Not long after I wake the word “service” pops in my head again. I accept it. “Fine”, I think, what else can I do? And then I wonder about being told “survive” and I see the word survive another way – Ser-Vive. Vive is French for “Live!”. So I am being told my purpose is to, “Sur-Vive = Serve Life”. 

I’m so not feeling it. lol

by

Days of Dreamwork

Since I’ve been back from Costa Rica, my dreams have been really vivid and somewhat odd! I often wake up with a realization or an understanding about some aspect of life. I have been warned now, several times, of upcoming changes. Some mornings I wake up in tears, other mornings I was up in ecstasy. lol I prefer the latter, of course, but, like you will see below, you can’t have the good without the bad. 😉

Below are some of those dreams.

July 25th – Dream: Embrace the Darkness

I was with a group and we were exploring an old resort that had been abandoned for a long time. It was still daylight when we went in. I saw a space that looked really new with large, leather sofa chairs and tables. I commented on how new they looked and wondered why they hadn’t sold them. I saw old phones and knew it had been a call center. Then we looked around and it started to get darker. We got separated and I was with this one guy. My flashlight on my phone wouldn’t work and settings kept coming up where I could select a weapon – knife, sword, etc. I began to get worried and at one point was all alone in a dark space. I worried it was haunted but nothing happened to confirm that. I remember seeing an old bathroom and walking down long halls. I knew to get out I had to go back the way I had come. I had to use the screen of my phone to light the way a few times but it was not near enough light. I remember thinking that the space was not unlike my dark bedroom and that all I had to do was close my eyes and go to sleep. There was nothing to be afraid of.

What is funny is that after I awoke and got out my phone, I accidentally turned on the flashlight! Hahaha!

I think the meaning of the last dream is that we need to get comfortable with the darkness. If we calmly walk through it we will find that the darkness is not scary at all and can be quite comforting. Eventually, if we are patient, we will find the Light. 

Ride the Wave, Enjoy the Ride

Recently, a FB ad kept coming up. After about the fifth time I paid attention and took a screenshot for proof. The reason it was so meaningful is because my sister’s name was in it. It is her name with the word “health” after it. Firstly, her name is rare. I’ve never met anyone with her name. Second, her name means “Goddess of truth”. Third, the word “health” does not describe her. If anything, her life has been the opposite. 

I sent the website to my mom and said, “Message or oxymoron?”

Later in the day, I spoke to my husband about my sister and her addictive tendencies. She works very hard to convince others she happy and without problems when on social media and even in person. I mentioned that she is afraid of her own darkness and so runs from it straight into anything which numbs her pain or hides the truth. I told him that we are not all that different from her, we just choose to distract ourselves in other, less harmful ways. 

Then last night I was finishing up watching a Netflix series called The Gift. The last episode reminded me of my dream. The show reminds us that life is a “gift”. The good and even the bad are to be relished. You cannot have one without the other. When I listened to the ending monologue I couldn’t help but think of the 8 Winds of Buddhism and how it applied. 

This morning, a dear friend of mine wrote about addiction and how so many of us are addicted, just not always to those things most stigmatized by society like drugs and alcohol. Addiction is our method of avoidance. Avoidance of pain, of uncomfortable truths, of life, etc. I realized what she wrote tied into everything above. This is part of what she wrote:

“What is your relationship to pain? Reflect on this….a lot. Learn to become aware of the pain, to stay present with it, to even be kind to it. Learn to breathe with it and give it space rather than allowing it to hold court. Stop believing that you shouldn’t have to feel it, or something is wrong with you or your life if it’s there. These are the fundamentals of self-compassion. If we don’t learn to consciously embrace our pain we will continue to self-medicate and dissociate from it, each other, and ourselves.”

So, it seems to me that my dream about the darkness was connected to the other incidents and realizations. I recognized this and understood that I need to confront some aspects of my own darkness. But what?

Dream: Just a Job

I remember being with a group of women. We were in a small space together getting ready – putting on makeup and making ourselves look beautiful. It didn’t take me long to recognize what we were preparing for. A knock came at the door and one woman was called forward and left with a man. I backed up, not really interested in working. I recognized that I was a call girl and knew I would be paid $65 for a half hour. 

I had all kinds of thoughts about my job. I remember knowing I enjoyed my work but then also that it was just “work”. I remember thinking it “fun” and being very interested in sexual acts of all kinds. I remember seeing two men together and being told to listen for a “pop” when they kissed (never heard it, not sure what it meant). I remember seeing a woman climb up on this inversion table-looking device where she laid out naked while another woman came from below. I saw all kinds of various sexual acts, some that would be considered taboo even, but I never once flinched. 

Then I was back in the room looking at a large palette of makeup. A woman was with me showing me some special lipsticks and bragging about selling them. It all reminded me of selling Mary Kay makeup and I was just not interested. In fact, I felt disinterested in pretty much everything in life. I just felt flat; neutral. I remember thinking that at least sex was fun. lol

When I woke I was a bit curious about the dream. It felt like it was an exploration of my past linked with some of my considerations in the present. It may explain why I don’t connect sex with love. Why I am so matter-of-fact when it comes to sex. I do recall past lives when I was a prostitute and it is likely I have been one in many more lives than I recall. The feeling of disinterest was strong and similar to how I feel presently. Perhaps this is part of my darkness? 

Regardless, the message seems to be that you can’t have the good without the bad. Ride the wave and enjoy the ride. 

July 26 – Night-Long Dream: Columbus Day

I was with a group in a forest. We were on a mission looking for someone(s). The most vivid part is when we went onto the lake (emotion). It was dark (unknown, hidden) and the water was solid but pliable. I was told that during the winter it would solidify only there was no ice, just darkness, almost like we were walking on the solar system in that it had a glittery appearance under the moonlight. At one point, though, a wave (unexpected event) came up and pushed me hard, throwing me a distance. Instead of landing on the surface, I fell down into the depths (forced into the unknown depths). Surprised that the water had opened up and swallowed me like that, I swam to the surface. As I swam, I saw a man’s foot and brushed his toes (togetherness). They were warm to the touch and I thought, “He’s still alive.” I told the people on top of the lake when I returned to them but we did not go get the man.

We then continued our search and came upon my mom’s house where somehow I ended up with some fajita meat and tortillas. I took them to a school to give them to a teacher there. When I gave them to her she laughed and asked if someone couldn’t wait and I noticed that several had been eaten. I confessed to eating one and seeing two others eat some also. She said she had hoped to feed 50 people but said it was not a problem because she had ordered a large turkey dinner. She place a huge turkey (fear) on a tray on the counter and showed me. Then, she gave me keys (access to something) and instructions on how to take the fajitas to her office. I went along a maze of hallways and came to a glass enclosed office with a counter out front. I saw the door and went around the side and was let into the office by a student. I didn’t even need to use the keys.

I realized the teacher was not a teacher anymore but some kind of supervisor to other teachers. She organized gatherings and didn’t actually teach classes. The two teachers under her both had PhD’s. I thought that I would never get a PhD in education because it made no sense to me. It felt like someone was asking me questions about my choices here, thus my thoughts.

The dream shifted to me sitting in some chairs in the school entrance. A small blonde girl had been with me and had been taken away. I sat down by a man and the girl was returned. Her hair had been dyed a dark brown. She hid under a large tray which I removed and put in a wagon I had with me. I then began to go over papers with lists of names as I sorted through clothing that was both mine and the man’s. I remember seeing names and explaining the names were of students in the alternative school where I use to teach. I mentioned how many had not made it to the next level and were repeats.

The man sitting next to me helped me sort the clothing as I read through the list. I was sorting out the clean from the dirty. I remember being a bit embarrassed at my underwear (private self) being there but he paid no attention to it. He was very quiet and accepting of me. I did see some of his clothing in the mix, but can’t recall what type. He was telling about himself, specifically that his birthday was in three days. I saw a calendar and Columbus Day. Yet for some reason I called him a Taurus so I was convinced the day was at the end of April. Someone asked, a guide I think, if this man was acceptable to me. I said, “Yes. He seems nice.” I liked how he was quiet and observant. His energy was very calm.

Then the dream shifted and I was standing near what resembled a crypt in an ancient temple. I looked below and saw two graves that were dug out and very deep. In adjacent rooms were more holes without bodies. I wanted to go down and looked toward a man who was sitting next to another man. I don’t know which man was the person I looked to but one said, “We want to be alone.” The feeling was they didn’t want me there. I took no offense and went exploring.

I walked around in what felt like a temple space that was very ornately painted with high ceilings. It felt like a place in Turkey maybe or it could’ve been Hindu. I came to a vendor who had tapestries and woven textiles. I looked through some of the smaller textiles, picked one up and noticed the patterns moved. I smiled as I realized I could control the movement and saw a bird taking flight. A man and woman approached, fascinated and the man asked me what I did for a living. I told him I used my imagination to make things better, that I do this in my dreams in order to make the world a better place. I showed him how and he was intrigued. He wanted to learn and grabbed a textile and I showed him. The image was of a person sitting in a garden. I made the bees buzz and move around the person. He tried and created moving images on his own textile.

Excited, the man took a tapestry and draped it around himself and walked away saying he was going to use his new ability to help him get the job he wanted. I watched him walk away, the tapestry forming to his body and hanging down like a white robe. I was pleased.

Considerations

When I woke I recalled two things specifically: the solid, dark water and Columbus Day. I knew the dark water was symbolic of the depths of my subconscious. I am thrown down into it (possibly the collision I’ve been warned about) and not afraid. I see a man’s foot and brush his toes (togetherness, the small details, more to be known). He is just floating there. I suspect this indicates a karmic relationship or maybe that I am aware of this man at some level. He is in my “depths”, below the surface, alive and waiting there.

The Columbus Day date was on my mind and I woke thinking, “Columbus Day is in October. It is not in April or May (Taurus).” I looked it up and sure enough it is in October. I was told a while ago now that I would meet someone in October. I wonder if this information is to indicate when? Is the man a Taurus? Or is his birthday really on Columbus Day? The laundry being sorted indicates that he and I share something intimate. The saying “airing my dirty laundry” comes to mind. This means “personal or private affairs that could cause distress or embarrassment if exposed.” Perhaps the man and I talk about personal things together? He felt like someone who does not judge, which may be why I am comfortable with him. He sat there calmly observing, which I liked.

The last dream also stayed with me, specifically my explanation about what I am here in this life to do. I create via my imagination and dreams, making things better here on Earth. I seek to make things more beautiful and images of nature appear in the fabric.

The empty graves in the crypt is interesting. They are far below me and very deep. I want to go explore but the man tells me to go away. An empty grave can mean resurrection or it can mean preparation for death. I remember thinking the empty graves odd and I was curious. Where were the bodies? So, it likely means resurrection.

July 31st – Dream: Free

The setting was reminiscent of a post-apocalyptic scene. I was a child in a large, nearly empty warehouse with other children. I recall being sent to bed and having to follow strict rules. I struggled to sleep and was sneaking around with other kids. I remember being strictly forbidden to have any relations with boys but I snuck around trying to do this without much success. There was fear but I’m not sure what of. I also recall being shown how I was born, which was not natural. Me and my siblings were born via a large, shallow pool with pods in it connected by a metal grid with tubes coming out. Natural birth no longer existed.

Then I was on a trip down a road being shown the state of the world. It was desolate and gray with lots of construction going on and large trains hauling materials and cleaning up debris. I saw statues of horses, hundreds of them, being piled into a train car by a crane which was pulling them out of a large, metal container. This visual was extremely oversized, as if it was meant to make an impact. On the other side of the road I saw a statue of a small deer and a man. I questioned what happened to all the animals. A man said they were all dead and all that was left was what I was seeing. I wondered if someone had turned all the animals into stone.

Then I was in an encampment. I overheard plans to bomb the neighbors who were called “The U.S.” The reason for the bombing was stated as a need to keep the country (or it’s influence) from getting bigger and becoming a threat. The thing is, the U.S. was not a threat. It was just a peaceful camp, not big enough to do any harm to anyone. I feared for them and wanted to warn them.

I snuck out and ran toward the U.S. side. I could see men sneaking around putting bombs in select places. Fearing the worst, I began to scream, “There are bombs! You need to get out!” There was this loud noise that drowned out my calls. It was coming from a large body of water where people were working. The workers were out in the water. I kept running toward them, screaming so much that my voice cracked and became hoarse. I ran until they could see me and finally they heard me and they began to run out of the water towards safety. I saw a horse startle and run away and also a rabbit. I thought, “They still have horses and rabbits here!” I was amazed. I swear I heard a voice answer, “Yes, they do.” The bombs began to go off all around, but the people escaped.

I was running to hide and found this bubbling stream or brook that went deep into the ground. I knew the path and jumped in, letting its waters take me down into darkness. I grabbed onto a root during part of the journey and then dropped into the abyss. It took me to the other side and I stepped out, hiding as I peeked out at the space. It was another workspace, like a warehouse with cranes and people wearing welding helmets. Someone saw me and I withdrew. Then a whole group of guys recognized me. They knew I had helped them.  

Then I was in my mom’s house. It was dark and I was with some others. I again felt to be sneaking around and doing what I should not. There was this large, black man who I recognized. I went up to him and he embraced me. I felt an amazing attraction to him. I also knew he was gay yet I didn’t care. It felt that life had restricted us so much that we wanted only to be free. The expression of this came as desire and when we embraced I felt as if I had been “released” and “set free” and I surrendered completely to the man. I wanted nothing more than to release all control to him and when I did this it was such a relief that all the pent up, suppressed life force within me was expressed as intended. It felt as if I was meant to be this way and I had no shame. And when I thought, “He is gay”, I didn’t care and knew it didn’t matter. I did not hold back. I was not afraid.

When I awoke my second chakra was aching and I realized that all I want is to be “free”. I feel that something deep within me wants only to fully surrender, to hand all control to another with full trust that he will protect and cherish me. A part of me is exhausted from life, from trying to control things, people and situations. All I want to do is flow with life, to feel fully and express what I feel without restrictions and rules. 

I was asked to look/feel into the feelings I was having and saw many occasions of men taking what was not theirs to take, misusing their power and creating fear where there should be none; times when I’ve surrendered fully only to have someone abuse the control I’ve handed them, taking with brute force what should be handled with care. I recognized that I purposefully withdraw and keep up my guard. I realized all I need to do to open up again is to trust and that is so very hard to do. Even the smallest sense of deceit from the other and I shut down, tight as a clamshell. I heard an encouraging voice say, “Trust……let it happen.” And there the message is again: Let it happen, let it happen. It’s gonna feel so good. 🙂