Tag Archives: dream symbolism

by

A Kundalini Dream and Message: Hey Soul Sister!

Unexpected Kundalini dream early this morning along with some messages.

Kundalini Dream

I was with someone who resembled an ex from early on after my divorce. He was the third person I had connected with since my divorce – within that first year actually. In the dream he had taken me to a party where we met with some of his friends. I recall him introducing me to this nice woman who seemed to be the one throwing the party. When she gave her name it was my name, first and last, only my maiden name instead of my married one. She spelled her name with an “e” where mine was with an “a”. What is funny is that when she said her name I saw it in my mind as I heard it which is why I knew it was spelled differently. I laughed and told her, “You have the same exact name I do – my name is also __________”. She laughed and said, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with my exact name. What is your middle name?” I told her and she told me hers was a different name. Still, it was quite amazing to me and I was a bit in awe of it.

Something about my interaction with this “other me” made my boyfriend upset. So, he left me there – “abandoned” was the word I used. I remember thinking, “I can’t believe he abandoned me.” It felt like this man mistreated me quite a bit but what was unusual is that I didn’t seem to mind it. I spoke with the other me for a while after that. She knew I was married and asked how I ended up with a boyfriend instead of my husband. I seemed concerned about it at first and then tossed that worry for acceptance.  I don’t recall my explanation in words but in pictures.

I wandered about the party wondering what I was going to do and thinking I needed to just wait for him to return, I saw people mingling and felt a bit confused and without purpose. I don’t have much memory of this time. I believe I was contemplating why I would even wait for my boyfriend to return when he mistreated me so. It didn’t really make sense that I would want to be with him yet I still did. It was odd and illogical. There was also a sense that I shifted between being male and female and that my boyfriend shifted with me, mirroring me to become the polar opposite of me each time (me – male, him – female and vice versa).

Then, out of nowhere, my boyfriend returned. I went with him willingly despite him being annoyed with me and seeming to not like me much. There was much disdain from him and at times I could feel anger from him even. I remember him demanding that I help him translate messages from God. It was like I was Moses receiving the Ten Commandments. My boyfriend roughly pushed me to the ground and pointed toward a large stone demanding I relay what I saw. I saw messages instantly etched into stone. The letters burned gold as the words appeared. I read them aloud to my boyfriend and I knew they were commandments but they were quite lengthy.

The scene shifted and we ended up in my kitchen near the stove preparing food together. As I prepared the meal he held up a crumb of something and made a snide comment indicating that I was unable to do even the simplest of things right. He had me pressed into a corner facing him and I felt angry in response to his words. At this moment the man, who had previously seemed like an ex-boyfriend, reminded me of my current husband.

While intent on yelling at him in anger I felt this amazing magnetic connection I could not ignore. So I reached my arms around him and pulled him to me. The anger we both felt transformed into this amazing, passionate feeling that burned through my insides, rapidly moving upward with such ferocity that I could do nothing but surrender to it. I remember breathlessly saying, “I love you so much….” as my chakras ignited one by one in the familiar K-fire.

Unfortunately, the intensity woke me up and I lay in bed breathless and wishing I had not awakened. I remember a male voice speaking with me but his words are mostly lost to me now. What I do recall is shifting in and out of the in-between. As I did this the K continued to rise all the way to my crown, lingering briefly in my heart but long enough for me to relish in it. I worried briefly that it would surely kill me if it got any more intense. Yet at the same time I was blissfully intoxicated. All other similar K experiences flooded my mind and body in recognition of my Divine nature.

Strangely, the K energy lulled me to sleep and I entered into another dream.

Dream: Sleep Chamber

In this dream I was sitting in a room watching my sister give a tarot reading to another woman. The room at times looked to be two places – one a large, open space and the other my old bedroom growing up. My sister was having trouble finding the card meaning in the book and I flipped through it to show her. The cards she was using were a deck of my design and ultimately the message was written on the face of the card which I showed to the woman receiving the reading. She was concerned, however, because the card indicated some upheaval. I told her it was just a part of the entire reading, which was a very large spread of many cards and motioned to the entire layout saying, “This is all of you” then pointing to the other card, “..and that is just a small portion of you.” I can’t recall the message now but it was not positive. The feeling I get now is that it represented some kind of major struggle. The card had a massive lion on the front. The card next to it also had a lion but it was just the head of the lion and it was in the right hand corner. I told the woman this was a good sign.

I attempted to stay and mingle with them but their reaction to me was that they were just tolerating my presence and really didn’t want me there. I left, feeling unsettled and repulsed by their behavior. I remember thinking how I preferred to be on my own to just being “tolerated” by others. For some reason it felt like the women were instructed to do this so I wouldn’t feel left out but they wanted nothing to do with me nor did they care to hear what I had to say.

As I lingered alone in my space a black man approached me and came onto me. I remember not minding but thinking how men always did this and noting the contrast between my interactions with the women, who were in pretense, and the overt honesty of the man.

There was another man who came in who was very obviously not right in the mind. He was very friendly with me and eager to share his experiences. He left not long after and went to a large van opening all of the doors. When I approached it he showed me how the front of his van had been shot up with bullets and repaired, indicating he had been through many challenging times.

The dream gets fuzzy but I recall being selected and taken to do my time in a sleep chamber along with others on what I can only describe as a craft of some sort. I was put into a large, double sized bed that was on the bottom row alongside many others. The beds were hanging horizontally from the ceiling like pods only they were not contained but had floral bedspreads and fluffy pillows on them. When I asked how long I had to stay I got no answer but remember thinking it would be a month.

Message: Hey Soul Sister

When I woke I received messages. One was a reminder about human conditioning limiting romantic love to only one person. Another was encouragement to keep exercising like I have been as it is assisting with the K somehow. The final message was in the form of a song – “Hey soul sister”. It seemed like a greeting almost but the song itself is about love which leads me to believe that it is a message from someone who loves me, though who is unknown.

Dream Interpretations

The first dream seems to indicate a review of the past. At one point I encountered another version of me and became friendly with her. Something like this did happen in my past. I met my HS and then merged with her. This resulted in profound change which my “boyfriend” (husband, masculine energies) could not handle so he “abandoned” me only to return much later. He treated me badly, forcing me to help him interpret the “Ten Commandments”. I suspect this part of the dream is relaying how I learned a difficult lesson, one in which I realized I must follow the “rules” of being a human if I want to fit in on Earth. Interestingly, the anger we felt for one another somehow ignited the Kundalini bliss in the end. That in itself seems to be a message that even anger can be transformed into love.

The next dream appears to be a message from my HS to my lower self, indicating that there is much more to me than I am able to see. I experience something I have experienced many times in this life – women pretending to like me but not really liking me or wanting to be around me. I have always rejected pretense and preferred my own company to that of most women I encounter. Yet with men I do not have this problem. Instead they seem to be overly honest and accepting and as a result I get along with them well.

The final portion of the dream could be an indication of how much time I have left “asleep”. To me, to be asleep is to be unaware or unconscious – on autopilot. When I am “awake” I have more spiritual awareness and spiritual experiences tend to increase.

by

Dream: May Day

Seems I just can’t catch a break when it comes to my dreams lately. I am having vivid, lucid dreams. Many have been sexual, sometimes with elements of the Kundalini. Others have been upsetting, some so much that I feel they are predictive of some future event.

What is going on, I wonder? My intuition tells me that we are shift, shift, shifting again. Like majorly but in subtle ways that are more inward, drawing out deeply hidden wounds that need healing. Wounds that may have been partially healed but because they were not totally “flushed” from our energy they have to be confronted, handled and released. Based on the intensity of this shift I am betting you all have felt it, too, though your experiences would not necessarily be like mine.

In the past few weeks (since the last week in Feb) I have been having dreams and physical reality encounters (online mainly) with people from my past. People who I met in the first few years following my spiritual awakening in 2002. Three ex’s to be specific. Two re-connections occurred online with men from that first year of my awakening. One was an online chat that went on for half of the work day, the other was just me looking in on them without them knowing.The other connection came via a lucid dream encounter which had me waking up thinking, “What was that all about?”

On top of the odd return to the past I’ve been having premonitory dreams. The V-Day dream I had was one such dream and this morning I woke in tears to another one, this one mentioning May Day (May 1st).

Dream: May Day

The dream shifts and changes settings three times. In the first dream setting I am with others who my husband and I know in real life. There is discussion about the kids all going to one place to hang out while the adults go to another. For some reason it seems like the kids are all going to my house and I make it known that I do not want this. It feels like the group determines I should be the babysitter without asking me.

My husband and I visit a pizza (return to wholeness) place to order pizza. He selects pizza from an metal shelf and begins to taste test some of the food. I watch as the man taking our order prepares a bread loaf by taking dough (money, finance) and rolling it into small balls and putting them together. I take one of the ball of dough and taste it (good fortune), asking if it is okay. He says it is and I put the tasted dough back into the pile and he continues to make the bread.

Then someone mentions it is time to go and the kids all seem to be piling into our car, which is a station wagon (family). I protest and remind them we do not have enough pizza for all of them.

We drive, me sitting in the passenger seat and also in the driver’s seat at times (two aspect of Self). We are going to a “dance” at a school. The school parking lot is flooded (emotion). Water is rushing down the road and getting high enough to stall out a car (upsetting emotion). I drive through it and from the passenger seat I can feel the water hit my feet because there is a hole in the bottom of the car (an aspect of me will be impacted by this flood of emotion).

I drop the other kids at the dance but do not let my daughter go. She is upset and I tell her that she should have told me in advance about the dance.

As we leave we encounter a black man asking for donations to fix his car. A nice, black car is sitting near him, one tire missing. I feel generous and begin to look in my purse for money to give him.

The scene shifts and I am driving with others in a country setting. Again, I am the driver and the passenger. As the passenger I give instructions. “Turn left here.” The driver me drives past and I look back and say, “You missed it. You have to turn around.” We drive up a distance and find some little shops. The road looks to be red brick. We begin to turn around and I see the shops look to be from the distant past, like the Middle Ages. Men are lingering and looking strangely at us, but we drive back to our missed turn.

The scene shifts again and I am in a warehouse that is also an elevator (levels of consciousness). The button is pushed to go up but the elevator malfunctions and it goes up only to fall quickly back down. I know this will happen, though, and am prepared. Then we are trapped inside for a while until someone cuts the wire and the power is cut off. The elevator opens on the ground floor and we exit.

The scene shifts for the last time and I am at a gathering. It feels like a wedding or similar celebration. There is a long table set with various items as if we are preparing for the celebration. At the head of the table is my “sister” though she looks nothing like my sister in real life – younger and much prettier with long blonde hair. She has pretty, thin ribbons in her hands and seems to be braiding them or something.

My “sister” is smiling and talking on “the phone” (there is no phone) with a mother figure. I can hear both voices in the conversation. I recognize that the mother’s voice is not our mother’s but maybe the mother-in-law or some other mother related to my “sister”. I say to her, “That isn’t mom you’re talking to, is it? Mom died didn’t she?”

When I say this, I have a flash of memory and seem transported into this memory. My mom is laying in a hospital bed, sitting up against the raised back. She is very weak and I somehow know that she has had issues with her heart. My mom says to me, “I’m not going to make it.” There is instant memory of an entire event that leads up to my mom’s death.

Shocked at the memory, I begin to see a calendar. The month’s of the year rapidly flip from page to page, pausing on the months and certain dates for seconds before moving to the next month. I see the 14th of January and then the 21st of February. Then the page stops on May 1st. I remember thinking of Mother’s Day and how so much happened to me and my family in 2014 around this time of year – births, deaths, marriage, relocation, new jobs, new directions in life for many of us.

I shift back to talking to my “sister” and say, “May 1st….May Day…..” I begin to sob uncontrollably as I realize my mom is dead. Dread hits me and devastation begins to spread from my stomach up to my throat and my head like a warm liquid. My heart sinks and I cry so hard I wake myself up. As I wake I am saying, “May Day (mayday), May Day (mayday)” as if I am asking for help while also trying to remember the day.

It was 5:30am and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

Considerations

If this is a premonitory dream then I hope, hope, hope it is not literal. My mom has always told me that she could not bear the death of one of her children. She has said, “I won’t make it” which were similar to her words to me in my dream. The feeling of the “heart problem” my mom had in the dream was that she was unable to continue living because of something that happened to her heart.

Just recently I discovered that my sister’s condition has not improved. She has staph on her heart valves despite the removal of 7 infected teeth and her blood tests showing the infection had cleared. She also confessed to being addicted to Meth, which has been a shock to me and my mom and anyone else who now knows that didn’t before.

The doctors have decided to do heart valve replacement surgery and replace the infected valves with pig valves. This is a very risky surgery so my guess is she must be doing pretty poorly for them to risk opening up her chest to replace her heart valves while knowing she is a Meth addict and will likely return to her habit once she recovers and put herself at risk for a repeat of this health emergency.

I have been at odds with myself over her situation. On the one hand I want her to recover and overcome her addiction to become the person she is capable of being. One the other hand I am certain she will succumb to her addiction and end up right back in this place sooner more than later. I am furious that the doctors would replace her heart valves knowing she is a Meth addict and not at all recovered except for her time spent in the hospital. But I imagine they are aware of this likelihood, so if they are doing the surgery anyway then she is at death’s door already.

So if my dream is precognitive, it could be that it is warning me of how my mom might react to my sister’s death. Or, it could just be a worry dream and nothing more. It felt precognitive, though, especially since the message is so similar to the previous one. May Day – V-Day…..

Honestly, the intensity of this past month and the uptick of dreams and dream encounters this past week has me a bit worried. I asked my guidance the other morning, “What is wrong with me?” upon waking from a particularly intense lucid dream. I am losing sleep because I keep waking from intense (Kundalini) or upsetting dreams at early hours of the morning and cannot get back to sleep. I lay awake thinking and wondering and get this feeling that is BIG. It says to me, “Change is coming. Be ready.”

Sometimes my spiritual gifts seem like a curse. Why know what is coming if I can’t do anything about it!? So seldom does knowing help except to prepare me emotionally by giving me a heads up. I wonder, though, does it really prepare me? I suppose in a way it does because I can process the emotion ahead of time so that when the event does occur I can be there for others. I can be less affected and more emotionally stable. For me, the loss of my sister is something I can bear but for my mom? I imagine what it would be like to lose a child. If I lost one of my children it would be devastating. A part of me would die and continue to die for the remainder of my life. Like my mom, I don’t think I could survive it.

by

OBE: Silent Night

I got an unexpected OBE this morning. It was short but followed by some interesting messages.

Dream: Teaching Assignment

The dream takes place in a non-traditional school environment. I am working there and talking to the principal and other teachers about the end of the school year which is fast approaching. This is a self-paced school and the students are expected to reach their goals in a timely fashion but are not forced to adhere to specific syllabus or itinerary.

At first we are talking about an email virus (interference in communication) that has been infecting our work computers. I see the email containing the virus in my inbox. It seems to replicate and I hurry to delete it.

Then the principal asks me if I think all my students will be done by the end of the school year. I say “no”. The principal asks how much time I think they need and I say, “Another four weeks, at least until the July break (4th of July).” A co-worker acts surprised and I mention how I will take my summer break then. She looks even more surprised and I ask, “Don’t you have a summer break here?” I am told school is year-long.

Next, I remember pacing back and forth in front of my mother’s house talking to someone about how my current employment as a teacher is in my favor. It can help me find another job, one where there is a summer break (need for a break). It feels like I am trying to convince myself that everything will be okay because I have a Plan B.

Then I am watching as the children head down a steep set of stairs (levels of consciousness) to go home or to lunch. A group of hillbilly looking people drive up. They have a trailer attached to their truck. It is filled with all sorts of birds – chickens and turkeys (cowardice) mainly. The principal says the group is a family who he is trying to nudge away from his school. It feels like they are a nuisance. We begin to usher the kids back up the stairs but it is very steep and the top step very high. I have to help a little girl (aspect of myself) who I think of as my daughter because she is so little and the step so tall. She makes it with my help and we stand on the balcony watching the hillbilly family below.

The principal makes a deal with the family who offers to use his turkeys and chickens as a petting zoo for the kids. He warns us to not let the children get too close or they might get pecked.

OBE: Silent Night

I am aware of lying in my bed and hear a familiar clapping beat to my left. I say familiar because I heard it yesterday morning. The clapping goes along with drums but I don’t hear the drums, I feel them. I am following along, trying to learn the rhythm. Yesterday morning I was actually saying the rhythm while clapping, “Da, daa, da-da, da, da…” As my mom, a music teacher for 30+ years, would have said it, “Ta, ta-i, ti-ti, ta ta.”

Unlike yesterday, this morning I recognize that these are a type of “noises off” except that focusing on them doesn’t keep me from going OOB, they assist me. As I decide to shift OOB I feel heavy blankets (security, protection) over my head and shoulders. I will them away, clapping my hands harder and singing the rhythm louder. In my memory I see the music I am making move the blankets off of me and I feel lighter as they fall away.

Out of bed and OOB, I head toward my bedroom door and easily pass through it. It acts like a portal and I find myself floating down, down, down towards a school setting with wood flooring and toys scattered about. I set my eyes on something, a toy of some sort, but I can’t recall what it was now, and head toward it, curious and feeling somewhat out of character for myself while in my astral form. Something catches my eye from behind me and I turn to see a man standing, hands casually clasped behind his back. He feels like a teacher and is dressed very casually in a blue polo shirt and jeans. He is looking at me and sending me a telepathic message for me to come over, so I do.

On the floor at his feet is a fluffy teddy bear (trust, security, companionship) with a large object in its hands. I want to say it is a megaphone (need to hear something) but it is hard to say. It is definitely shaped like one and is red in color. I lean in and snuggle the bear and the man says, “He is saying something. Listen.” He again says this telepathically so there are no words but rather it is like a hum or energy inside me that urges me to pay attention to the tiny bear.

I put my ear up to the bear’s mouth and listen. I don’t hear anything so I listen harder, stilling myself in order to catch even the faintest of sounds. I hear a small voice, very faint and it is singing a song. I listen and catch the bear’s words and know he is singing a lullaby. He sings, “Silent night….” but in the tune of the familiar ABC Song.

Caught off guard by the message I am receiving and not understanding I look up to question the man but don’t remember if he is there. I decide to explore the area more but am stopped by the familiar sensations of shifting back into my body.

In-Between

I shift back into my body which feels very heavy with energy focused in my mid-section. I receive visions and communication from the same man from my OBE for some time after. In these visions he is next to me. I am seated in a captain’s type wooden chair with a tall back that reaches shoulder height. The man pulls up another chair but does not sit in it. The feeling is the chair is meant for a visitor but that visitor is not the man. Am I waiting for someone? I feel the answer is yes.

The man tells me something but his exact words are lost to me despite my repeating them over and over in order to recall them. The meaning remains and it is that they (my Team I guess) will assist me with a type of re-integration and healing. I am frustrated to not recall the word he used because it made so much sense to me in the moment! Yet now I have no clue other than a feeling that lingers and suggests a “piece” being re-placed via a type of “lesson” that is forthcoming.

I remember seeing the edge of a pool, its waters crystal blue, calm and clear. I hear the man say, “See” and I know he is indicating the waters are related to my spiritual state, not just a “clearing” or healing. When I visit waters like this in my dreams and OBEs I find them delightful, calming and peaceful with a sense of freedom and fluidity that is hard to describe.

I am reminded of a message I woke to yesterday morning. Someone was whispering to me, “En Fuego.” All day I thought, “I should look that up just to be sure of it’s meaning” but I never did. I already new it meant, “On Fire” and was likely a message relating to the Kundalini “fire”. Later that day I was driving home from the store and heard a duet on the radio. The song stirred something in me and I remember how music and singing light up my soul. I began to fall into the song, seeing the voices as the masculine and the feminine energies within me. They danced together as the two voices in the song harmonized and I felt it within myself. It was beautiful but sadly it was interrupted by a phone call. 😦

In reflecting on the water symbolism along with this message of being “on fire” I can’t help but think of the elements and astrology. I am Leo – a fire sign. Water signs are strangely attractive to me, likely because they are my opposite. I can’t help but wonder if I am being asked to immerse myself in the opposite “element” to create a catalytic effect. Perhaps that empty chair holds the answer?

 

 

by

Dream: V-Day

Lots of change occurring right now.

February 6th Dream: V-Day

I was driving along a rural road in an unfamiliar place. My kids in the back of the car. I noticed all the other cars around began to pull over and off the road like an emergency vehicle was coming. I looked and listened. Nothing. Why were they pulling over? Rather than get in trouble, I pulled over quickly, running my car into the ditch nearly hitting a fence. Relieved, I looked around. The roads were completely clear and all was quiet. I rolled down my window and asked someone in a nearby car what was going on. They said, “It’s an evacuation drill for V-Day.” I thought, “He must mean D-Day. Maybe we are in the UK?” I thought it strange they were doing a drill when there was no war and no need.

My family and I got out and began to walk back to our hotel. As we entered a circular, gray stone courtyard in a city, we noticed there was snow all over the ground. I turned around and saw a ski hill in the distance. It made me smile and I mentioned how fun it would be to ski. I began to slide around on the snow. My kids did the same and we made sure to avoid the deep puddles that were forming as the snow melted.

We entered a building that reminded me of a mall. I remember seeing the entrance back to the hotel. It was hidden in the back of a tourist gift shop.

Interpretation

When I woke I knew the dream was a premonition. My interpretation of it was that some kind of “evacuation drill” was coming on Valentine’s Day. The good part is that it would be a “drill” and ultimately not the actual event.

The positive feelings I had at the end of the dream were promising. The snow is melting – so some kind of stalled situation will finally have movement. The ski hills in the distance seem to indicate quick progress and hope.

My thoughts of “D-Day” in the dream seem to indicate that an assault of some sort would occur. Assault here could be symbolic of taking action where it is needed.

A couple of days after I had the dream I was shopping for Valentine’s gifts for my children to give to their teachers. There was a small box of chocolates that had, “Happy V-Day” on it. I remembered the dream and knew it was a reminder. Never in my life had I seen “V-Day” used on boxes of candy like that.

V-Day

I was on alert all day on Valentine’s Day. When nothing happened I shrugged my shoulders and thought no more on it.

The day after Valentine’s Day I received a voicemail from my mother who told me my sister was in the hospital. She had been rushed to the ER on Valentine’s Day after waking up to find she couldn’t see. Her vision went completely black and she was disoriented and afraid.

My mom told me that the doctor’s told her my sister had a “blood infection”, which translates to sepsis. They didn’t know the source of the infection but since she also had a UTI, then that was likely the source. She had three mini-strokes, the first of which caused her blindness. The source of the strokes was an infected heart valve. She had a heart valve replacement (HVR) with a pig valve 12 years ago. The valve was worn out and failing, throwing blood clots that lodged in her brain and caused the strokes.

I was able to visit my sister the next day, Sunday February 16th. She was awake and her vision had returned, though not fully in her right eye. She was in pain but otherwise seemed like her old self. She appeared very swollen and pale and had sores all over her body, a side-effect of the sepsis.

She talked with us for over an hour and seemed much better. She told us that when she was admitted they had asked her, “What year is it?” Her response was, “1987”. She said she couldn’t remember anything from the past two days except waking up and not being able to see.

Several times while talking to her, she broke down into tears. Her tears stemmed from overwhelm at her situation, the pain she was still feeling and the love she was feeling from friends and family.

The bad news is that once healed from the sepsis she will have to undergo another HVR. The first time she had the surgery was devastating to her. Open heart surgery is never easy and the road to recovery is long. She is hoping they will be able to do the surgery without opening her up, but I don’t know if that is even possible. She survived it the first time, so bets are she will again.

I told my sister about my dream and it gave her hope. I didn’t tell her that I think the “evacuation” part symbolized leaving the physical body. The “drill” in the dream symbolized a test of her readiness to leave this life. Some call these “exit points”, points in our timelines where we can choose to go Home. At this point it appears she has decided to stay.

Please keep my sister in your thoughts and prayers.

by

Dream: My Heaven – No Entry

Interesting night of dreams.

Lucid Dream: Chest on Fire

I suddenly became lucid. I was standing in a suburban neighborhood in a cul-de-sac. There was a car on my left as I approached some people standing on the side of the road outside a house. Everyone of the people in the group were African American and I recognized that I was different from them but didn’t care. My main focus was finding my “daughter”. I remember thinking, “Do I even remember what she looks like?”

Not long after that thought I saw her and rushed up to her, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tightly. I told her how much I loved her and called her my daughter. I asked her how she was doing as I pulled away and saw her looking to her left and behind her. I turned and saw another young woman, probably about 14 years old approaching. When I saw her I knew she was my daughter, too, and that she was very sad. I opened my arms to her, inviting her into a hug. She fell into my arms and I told her how much I loved her, how beautiful she was and not to be sad.

When I pulled away I looked at this young woman and marveled at her beauty. Her hair had been relaxed and straightened and was pulled up tight at the top of her head, cascading down around her in a neat little shoulder-length bob. Her skin was flawless and glowing but her eyes told another story.

I motioned to the woman sitting in the car to my left and told the young lady, “Never forget how much you are love. She loves you.” It felt like the woman in the car was the mother. I touched the mother figure and was surprised to find her very, very pregnant.

I hugged the young woman again and told her, “It won’t last forever. Just feel the love. Just feel it right here (putting my hand on her chest). You are always loved.” I believe she was crying but can’t remember seeing any tears. What I do recall is that I could feel all her sadness and pain. I took it on as my own and began to cry with her.

My hand was still on her chest but I could also feel the pressure of it on my own chest, right between my breasts. The pressure was focused and distinct to the point that it almost hurt. I began to physically feel an intense heat there. It got hotter and hotter to the point that I felt I would not be able to bear the heat much longer.

The heat and pressure spread over my entire body and eventually woke me up. I could still feel it lingering as I rubbed the tears from my eyes. I have never felt heat like that before. It was so real, so physically hot, that I was certain my bed had caught on fire.

Dream: Surgery

This dream was very long. It took place mostly in a hospital. I was to get cosmetic surgery on my stomach area and had checked in. I was awaiting surgery, first in my room, and then in an operating room.

There were several “interns” tending to my needs and talking to me about my up-coming procedure. One was familiar, a tall, blonde male of slender build. There was discussion about what to expect from my surgery. They gave the surgery a name but I don’t recall the name now. Instead I remember seeing in my mind what would happen. They would take a flap of skin from my abdomen, double it over on top of itself to make my entire mid-section more firm and tight.

While I was waiting, my sister stopped by. She was an intern at the hospital, too, and was surprised to see me there. She gave me more information on the surgery and then left, wishing me luck. I remember knowing my sister in this life was nowhere near being as smart as this sister and marveled at how different she was in the dream.

I ended up staying the night and being taken back to wait for surgery the next day. The same group surrounded me and I asked if I could make a change to my surgery and get breast implants. They said it shouldn’t be an issue but I still seemed to wait for a long time. I remember wandering to an area with a very old computer and rotary phone. I realized it had long been abandoned by the staff and looked through the files, curious at the time capsule I had found.

When the doctor arrived I was placed on the operating table and left awake as the surgery took place. It took no time at all and I remember being left naked on the table for a long while, my new body looking like Barbie it was so perfect.

Eventually the blonde male came and took me from the operating room. I knew he wasn’t meant to because he sneaked me out. He seemed romantically interested in me but I didn’t mind.

He took me to the cafeteria to get some food and ordered us cookies. We were each given two cookies and then there was a third cookie also. I remember asking him, “Two cookies?” He nodded “yes”. I took mine and began to eat them. So did he.

Then we were in the shower together, both of us naked. I recall seeing his nakedness and noticing his arousal but not caring because I felt safe with him and knew he was a gentleman. This is where the dream ended.

As I woke I was hearing someone (the man from the dream perhaps?) asking me, “Do you know how beautiful you are?” There was a conversation that followed but I was too tired to remember it. Mostly I remember that he was trying to tell me that no matter how old my physical body gets, I will always be beautiful. I also think he told me that he was there to help me.

Prior to falling asleep I had asked again to be shown my Heaven, or where I would go when I died. This time I think my question was answered.

Dream: My Heaven – No Entry

I found myself in a beautiful garden, beautiful beyond any place I have seen on Earth. There was a crystal blue, shimmering stream running down the center. It shined like it had diamonds or crystals in it. On either side of the stream was vivid green grass dotted with flowers of all kinds. People dressed in white and with glowing skin were walking about, mostly in pairs, some holding hands, others arm in arm. Groups of people were sitting among the flowers and others under the massive oak trees that had shimmering fruits hanging from their branches. Beyond the trees were rolling hills that went as far as the eye could see.

In the center, crossing over the crystal stream, was a golden bridge. In the middle of the bridge stood a man who, to me, felt like “God”, but I knew this concept is incorrect but the closest approximation my mind could come up with. I watched as he met those who had arrived into the garden in the middle of the bridge. He spoke with them, telling them what their path would be while they were there, and then granting them access.

I saw a young blonde woman dressed in white walk up to the man on the bridge. The gatekeeper, as I will call him, barred her way into the garden. In that moment I shifted perspectives and became that woman.

The tall, gorgeous blonde man was fantastic in appearance. His skin shimmered as if covered in diamonds. His eyes were a vivid blue and his hair, straight and blonde, flowed down to his mid-back. He wore all white and was a good two feet taller than me, making him at least 7 feet tall. When he spoke to me my inclination was not to question anything he said but accept it fully and comply.

I wish I could recall word-for-word what he said but I became extremely lucid at his words. They echoed in my mind as I tried to capture them and their meaning. I do remember he said that my purpose was back on Earth, assisting my “family”.

When I heard him tell me, “Your purpose is not here” (meaning I could not come into the garden), I initially accepted it without question and turned to leave. Then I began to wonder to myself, “What did he say?”  So I turned and with my mind asked him, “Say that again?” He repeated himself and his words were odd inside my mind, like musical but also booming and not of this Earth.

In this short period of time as I pondered what was happening the scene began to de-materialize and the garden slowly faded from view. The man, however, did not leave my mind/thoughts. Upset, I remember hearing that I was not meant to walk the path I once thought I was here to walk. Instead, my main purpose was to my family, which I interpreted to mean my husband, children, mother and siblings.

Interpretation

I believe the first dream was me visiting my daughters from another life or parallel lifetime. It felt like I crossed over, into this other dimension, with the purpose to check on them. The empathic connection I had was amazing as was the heat I felt in my chest that spread to my entire body. I’m not sure exactly what to make of the whole experience, though.

The second dream about a surgery is probably a result of my recent considerations about getting some cosmetic procedures done to correct some physical imperfections that are the result of growing older. Mostly these ideas are coming out of sheer boredom and wanting something interesting to do with my time but they also arise from a sense that my youth is slowly fading away. The message in the end was that I am beautiful no matter what. The dream could also be symbolic of healing, specifically to my mid-section where my second and third chakras are located.

The final dream seems to be a direct message to me that I am not yet meant to go to my Heaven. My firm belief is that Heaven is whatever we want it to be, so on some level I see Heaven as a magical garden. I must also think that there is someone acting as a kind of gatekeeper. This probably stems from my Christian background where people are said to stand at “the gates of Heaven” and from there are either granted entry or not based upon their good deeds on Earth. The appearance of the gatekeeper in my dream reminds me of my many dream encounters with Andromedans. They are usually very fair skinned and appear similarly to the gatekeeper man. It seems that my dream Heaven is not based upon “good deeds”, though. Instead, entry is granted when a person’s mission on Earth is complete. I am told in no uncertain terms that my mission is not yet complete.

As for my purpose being to assist my family, my guess is that it not just my biological family members I am assisting.

 

 

 

 

by

Dream: Hope Floats

Last night, for the first time in a long while, I struggled to fall asleep. It was past 1am when I finally drifted off. Again, I asked to be shown what my afterlife would look like and again got shown something very different.

Dream: Hope Floats

I was in the back seat of an SUV traveling with three others – two men and a woman. The only person that was familiar was the driver and since he was way up front we did not interact very much.

For some reason I was very talkative and happy in this dream. The discussion was about where we were going and why along with other random topics.

The topic of all the countries we had visited came up and the man to my left showed me a map of all the places he had traveled. His map was quite full! It seemed he had been nearly everywhere! I somehow knew he had past military experience and this was how he had traveled so much. I asked if he had ever visited Australia and he showed me a map of the country. He had traveled nearly the entirety of it! I said, “I went there once. I wanted to move there. It is a wonderful place.”

The topic of music came up. The man had with him two CDs and a player that wirelessly connected to the SUV stereo. I explained how I didn’t like most country music songs and was not shy about sharing my opinion. I tend to be very honest and blunt and I was most definitely acting this way in the dream. As far as I know, I didn’t upset anyone with my strong negative opinion about country music. The man sitting next to me asked me to try listening to his CDs. He shared the name’s of the artists and albums. I told him I had never heard of them and even now I can’t recall their names.  I agreed to give them a listen but his player would not connect.

The conversation continued with me changing my mind as I recalled actually liking certain songs, even owning country music CDs when I was married to my ex. I remember mentioning the movie soundtrack, Hope Floats, but when I said the name I knew it was a message to myself about hope.

The driver, the only person in the SUV that I recognized, did not interact much with our group. In the midst of my conversations with the group, I moved to my left a bit and could see the man watching me via the rear view mirror. I tried to ignore him and pretended I didn’t notice him watching me. He looked just as I remembered, especially his eyes and the intensity of his stare.

The topic of conversation shifted to our destination. I remember knowing we were going to Minnesota but the map I saw did not show the state in the right place. Instead, it looked more like a state in the northeast somewhere, closer to Ohio or Pennsylvania. The man in the front seat mentioned how different it would be for me to live there, saying the college campus I would be at was in a big city. In my mind I saw city streets and lots of people and knew I did not like crowded places. I remember knowing that I was going to study for my Master’s in Group Communication. In the dream this degree stood out to me and nearly brought on lucidity, but it didn’t.

Suddenly, the man in the driver’s seat turned completely around and began to crawl into the back seat toward me. This surprised me and I remember holding my breath and thinking, “What is he doing?” His eyes are the most memorable. It was like he was looking straight into my soul.

Then, without warning, he took a huge inhale of breath and turned around to face the front of the car. Outside I could see the highway spread out in front of us. Black, burnt wreckage was spread all over the left side of the road. The car was stopped, so there was no worry that it was driving into the wreckage, but cars were behind us. One car’s bumper was nearly touching ours and it honked in annoyance.

I knew we had to get out and assist in finding the survivors/victims. When I stepped out of the car there were two tiny, toddler-sized, black sneakers sitting on the pavement in a position suggesting they had been blown off the feet of their owner. I remember saying, “Oh no! Where’s the child these belong to?” My last thought before waking was hoping the child had survived as I looked at the unrecognizable pieces of wreckage and obvious scorch marks on the highway.

As I woke, I felt the presence of my guide in front of me. He said to me, “Life is good.” I was so tired, so heavy with sleep, that I didn’t really think much about his comment and I drifted back to sleep. I can’t recall what, if any, dreams I had after that.

Considerations

When I woke up my first thought was on the message I gave myself – Hope Floats. I don’t remember too much about the movie but I believe it is a story of how a woman suffers through an unexpected divorce, moves her family in with her mom, and reconnects with an old school friend (or boyfriend?), falling madly in love. Ultimately she finds happiness where she never thought she would find it.

I don’t know if this message is meant to indicate something like that will happen to me. For my life to play out like the movie is unlikely, especially since I don’t have any high school sweethearts to reconnect with. lol It could be that the message is simply to remain hopeful. And it could be nothing at all, but that is not typically how my dreams work. Especially dreams in which I remember seeing someone I know so acutely and wake up knowing the dream has significance.

My music preferences, the main discussion in the dream, seem to show how I recognize that though I say I don’t like something I eventually recognize that I do like some of it. I am open to exploring this about myself and even agree to listen (to the music – my guidance – but in this case “listen” in general applies).

As a dream symbol, music is how one communicates and expresses their soul. It can also represent spiritual guidance and a message being sent/received. My best guess as to the genre of music is that it is linking me to my past and perhaps my roots since I was raised very “country” and lived in the country for more than half my life. I suspect I am being asked to return to my past, inspect it and be open to receiving something it has to show me and “change my mind” about some idea or situation.

The wreckage on the highway seems to be a message or warning of a world-view or path more than my own and/or my group’s path (SUV is a group path). The wreckage is massive and the cars involved unrecognizable. All that is left are scorch marks and twisted pieces of metal. The two tiny shoes likely represent the children of the world in general. My main concern is them. My group is seeking to help the victims.

Finally, the degree I am seeking is at the forefront of my mind. The main word that stood out was “group” but I knew my degree had to do with communication as well. Considering just last night I was boarding a train to my new school and was wearing a choker around my neck (throat chakra), I think this part of the dream very significant.

 

 

 

 

 

by

Dream: Race Car Romance

It’s been a busy weekend and I continue to be pretty tired in the evenings with little dream recall. Last night I was especially tired because I went on a 4+ mile run-walk with my husband before dinner. So, by bedtime my eyes were very droopy and I fell asleep quickly.

Prior to bed I asked my guidance to allow me to see “heaven”. I asked to be shown where I will go when I die. Mostly, I was just curious. If I was shown the afterlife that awaits me (I believe everyone has their own “heaven”) I don’t remember it. What I remember instead is a strange dream.

Dream: Race Car Romance

The dream began with me being in my bedroom from when I was in middle school. Instead of it looking like a normal bedroom it was filled with deep water and I was swimming in it, occasionally diving deep into its depths. I believe I was not in my human form but am unsure what form I took. It felt like I was a car but then I saw myself as human but then also fish-like (mermaid maybe). Sometimes I would dive too deep into this water and someone would have to rescue me and pull me up to the surface before I drowned.

I was pulled up time and time again until the last time I finally paid attention to what was going on. Around me was a crowd of onlookers in a circle around me and my savior, a man who I felt I recognized but couldn’t place. His face shifted from a color, like a blue color, to a human face with dark hair and eyes. He seemed short or child-like, as did I, and I remember thinking in that moment that I finally recognized him. I knew I would fall for him as many victims fall for those that save them. As I had this thought I was looking at this man and feeling that, “Uh oh” feeling deep within me as if I knew he represented something significant and would bring into my life swift change more powerful than I had known before.

The dream shifted and the water was gone. I was standing on solid ground in my bedroom looking at a white bookshelf. On the top of the shelf was a stack of paper. I was taking pieces sheet by sheet looking for a blank one to draw on but each sheet had on it drawings of cars. Some had color on them, like a child had colored them, but as I pulled more out the drawings had less and less color until they were without color altogether. All the drawings were of race cars with rocket-like pipes coming out the sides and other alterations that made them look like rockets or spaceships with four tires. They were obviously built for speed.

As I looked through the drawings I recognized some were telling a story. I said to someone, “Oh, it’s a love story.” And I remember seeing two cartoon-like cars interacting as the pages flipped quickly and moved like a movie.

Then I was selecting a shirt to wear with the help of another girl. The shirt I selected had a race car on it also and was vividly colored. I mostly remember the color blue but there were streaks of yellow and white as well. It reminded me of something a super hero would wear. What is interesting is the shirt had two pieces. The back piece went over the shoulders like a cape and flowed down my back to my waist. The front piece snapped around the neck and covered my chest only. I remember the girl helping me put on the front piece, snapping it snugly into place around my neck. It felt tight but not restrictive.

Then I was told it was time to go and I got into a line to board a bus. It felt like I was in school and I remember seeing many people around me all going to their individual destinations. The bus I was boarding seemed more like a train or tram. It was sleek and aerodynamic as if it could go very, very fast.

Considerations

When I woke from the dream the presence of a guide was in front of me. I heard, “It’s time to go.” I didn’t know what he meant but it felt important. I thought, “Time to go Home?” He said, “No.” But my first thought was that I was about to die. I started worrying about my doctor appointment on Friday and thought I might get a phone call indicating something is wrong with my blood work. This concern quickly passed, though.

My guess, based on the dream, is that my guide is referring to something else, something fast and maybe life changing. A race car can indicate moving in the “fast lane” or fast movement. It can also represent a race of some sort and arriving at a destination fast. A car in a dream usually represents an individual’s life path or the path they travel with others. It is dependent upon the type of car. A race car is not a family car, so this is likely a symbol of my personal path.

In my dream I seem to shift between being a car and being something else, something more human and fish-like. I dive into the water (subconscious) and have to be rescued. I am rescued by the same man many times and finally recognize him. When I see him I feel that I will fall in love with him while also recognizing his role in my life. The feeling I get is significant and comes with a type of nervousness that I have felt in life before, where I want to run away out of fear but also stay out of fascination and desire to know what will happen next.

When I see him there is a crowd of people standing all around us. They stand back and form a circle similar to what happens when a person is rescued from near death in real life.

The strange race car clothing seems to indicate that I will take on a new persona. Clothing is how we present ourselves to the world. The clothing snaps around my throat in the front. This could symbolize my voice. It is not constricted.

As I board the bus/train I feel to be going to school but am also in a school so perhaps it is symbolic of a specific lesson I am about to learn that is related to a life lesson that is on-going. The bus/train looks like it will go fast so maybe a very fast-paced lesson.

This song was going through my head as I woke:

“I can be your hero baby. I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever. You can take my breath away….”

When I went for my morning walk today I saw the sun through the thick clouds. It looked like the moon but I know the moon is not full right now and so this confirmed it was the sun. I was reminded of a dream/OBE I had long ago where I saw the sun and the moon in the sky, side by side slowly moving closer together. I knew this symbolized the masculine (sun) and the feminine (moon) coming closer and closer together until they merged. I looked at the sun-moon in the sky and said to myself, “The sun is the moon is the sun”.

by

Kundalini Dream: Tempest

As the new year approaches the energy seems to be shifting. Yesterday the energy was especially strange. I felt a bit unsettled and family issues were at the forefront of my mind. Specifically, I wanted something unjust to be fixed. I kept feeling like I needed to take action but when I tried, things kept messing up – information I spent an hour typing wouldn’t save and other info vanished completely. It seemed as if the Universe was telling me, “Not yet”. So I found another way to channel the energy I was feeling – exercise. Once finished the feeling to take action was gone and replaced with a more balanced, calm energy.

I had lots of dreams last night, but a main one stands out.

Kundalini Dream: Tempest

The dream is hard to remember now but there are distinct elements of Kundalini energy present throughout.

In one scene I am standing on what appears to be a concrete dock sloping into the ocean. With me is a man and others but their appearances are hard to recall. The man walks into the ocean and I feel he is calling me to join him. He goes into the water up to his chest and I see he is okay so I follow. When I enter the water I notice there are dolphins swimming in it. I am overjoyed to see them and reach out and let my hand slide over the slick skin of one as it swims by. Many dolphins swim around and around me, playing and surfacing to smile at me. The dream scene fades out.

Then I am in a room with other women. I can’t recall what we are discussing now but I talk with one woman in particular who I have an affinity with. She is black and I find her very beautiful. Actually, all the women in the room are black and beautiful.

A group of people come into the room. They hold a large celebratory sign and have on masks. Many are children. They have with them presents in red bags with white paper covered in red and pink hearts. I say, “It’s like Valentine’s Day!” The children pass out the gifts to several women in the group I am with. The women are lounging and sitting together, relaxed and smiling. I feel that the gifts are coming from their men who are away. It feels like they are in the military or “fighting a war” but the war is not a typical war with guns and death. Instead the war feels internal though also for the whole of the world.

A gift is presented to me. I read the tag and the name says, “Dayana”. I say, “This isn’t isn’t my name. It’s not for me.” I read the rest of the information on the label to see if there is any information that is familiar. I see “Firefly” and tell the person holding the bag out to me, “It may be mine. ‘Firefly’ belongs to me.” The others in the room nod in agreement then one woman says, “Take it then. It is yours!”

Inside the bag underneath thick red paper is a tiny black box. I do not open it, though.

There is discussion about the men in our lives. I remember thinking of my ex-husband but this is probably because we are talking about the “war” our men are fighting.

Then I leave and go with my friend to her home. Inside are more women but one in particular is a well known author. She is sitting on the floor in front of a table, her legs off to her side. She smiles at me when I enter. There are others there with her. They invite me to sit down. Again, all the woman are black and very beautiful.

I recall talking to a man about his concerns about making enough money to support his family. I tell him a whole story about how much me and my husband have earned through the years. Specifically I tell him he can support a whole family on just $29K a year. He has misgivings about his ability as a provider but is reassured by my story. What is interesting is there is no man in the room with me and the woman and as I tell my story an entire scene of my story plays out as if a movie.

The women in the circle seem to be a kind of support group. They are discussing books. The woman author hands me a book and asks me if I have ever read it. I say that I have seen it but didn’t think it was right for me so never read it. I take the book and it has a title that is either, “Temptation” or “Tempest”.

Then I find myself looking at the pages of a book. I read a long sentence about how a man, a kind of doctor, helps a woman activate 22 meridians and chakras, starting in the root and moving up. I see him insert something into the root of an energy body and watch as the chakras activate. The energy is not intense but instead very flowing and smooth. I believe the aura I am observing is my own and the energy in the chakras mine also.

The woman author mentions to me that despite the “fat” of the physical body, the energy is able to move and progress upward. I see a visual of the insides of a physical body. Layers of yellow fatty tissue are visible. The energy moves through it and the fat seems to shrink, the yellow slowly dissolving away.

The women are discussing their unique experiences in life. I zone out, thinking of my own life when someone gives me a message related to time. I am told that I don’t need to do anything, that time will come to me – move through me. I am told to “wait” several times. I see a vision of a person standing still on a white platform that seems never to end. A time reel of pictures moves through the person. I understand that the idea that an individual moves through time is false – time moves through the individual.

I begin to think about my experiences with the Divine and how I felt to be One with everything. I hesitantly ask the group if any of them have ever experienced the Divine like I have. I describe my experiences as best as I can and they show interest and acceptance. My description causes me to relive some of the experiences I’ve had and I am near tears. I say to them, “It is so wonderful to be able to talk to you all about my experiences!” One woman asks me how I handle such profound experiences and I tell her, “I usually cry afterward.”

The other women nod as if they understand and can relate. My friend in particular seems to get it and comes closer to me. She hugs me and rests her head on my chest. I begin to slowly caress her black skin, finding her extremely beautiful. She moves closer and then positions her head in my lap. I gently touch her hair and marvel at how beautiful she is. There is a connection between us, one of great love and appreciation.

energy-aura-reiki-healing-light-body-crown-chakraKundalini

I slowly wake because I feel the K energy swirling through mostly my lower chakras. I linger, going in and out of the in-between. The song from Titanic goes through my head, “Once more, you open the door….” and “You’re here in my heart and my heart will go on and on”.

I fall into the in-between.

I remember being led into a tunnel or a path. In front of me is a white door with a golden door knob. I move toward it and it opens. Beyond it the path continues but is feathered in light. I can feel the K energy pushing upward and building at my solar plexus. It forms a line of golden energy just below my ribs. This energy increases my awareness and I see the door and know that going through it will move the energy upward. I try to shift back into the in-between but my awareness is too much. I am upset when I recognize this because I know I have interrupted a potentially beautiful experience, one where the energy moves into my heart space.

The song continues to play through my head as if to remind me that all is not lost – “My heart will go on and on….”

Considerations

The symbolism behind my dreams feels positive. Dolphins symbolize spiritual guidance, freedom, and happiness. I am in the water, which is emotion, invited in by the the masculine energy. This introduction feels to be an invitation where I am guided into the water (my emotions) and shown that it is safe and I am protected.

The symbolism of Valentine’s Day is love, connection and partnership. Though my name is wrong I notice the street name of my childhood home “firefly”. Fireflies symbolize illumination and hope but also one’s “homeland”. It is interesting that in my dream the street name was of my childhood home here. I am given a gift, one of love as represented by Valentine’s Day, but I do not open it.

The book title is curious. I am not certain of the title but it is either (or both) temptation or tempest. It causes me to think that the content, which I read and shows the rising of energy through 22 chakras and meridians, could be indicating that I will experience a rush of energy upward. Perhaps this energy will also represent a kind of temptation, which makes sense when one considers the energy of the Kundalini.

The women in the dream are all very dark skinned. I find them extremely beautiful, but this is also true in my waking life. I am very attracted to very dark skinned women of African descent. I had a very spiritual lifetime in the early 20th Century where I was an African-American woman and had very close ties to the women in my life. Perhaps I was creating the women in this dream to look this way because it gives me comfort and puts me at ease?

This dream continues a dream theme, one where I have women inviting me to experience the K energy. It feels like I need to further explore my feminine side to assist in the rising of the energy.

The vision of time received in this dream has left me considering how we as spiritual Beings enter the time stream of the physical. It appeared to me that we “descend” and then allow time to flow through us in order to experience it. I was then told I did not need to “do” anything but that time would come to me and through time I would experience. This message coincides with what I was shown yesterday when I tried so hard to take action but could not.

This dream and the other dreams and premonitions I have been given bring hope that 2020 will most definitely be a year of clarity.

by

Dream: Horse Attack

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holiday season. For those of you who are struggling, for whatever reason, I understand. May you have the strength to endure whatever comes your way. Remember, “This too shall pass.”

For me, Christmas went smoothly. We have one more family gathering today and then we can rest and return to our regularly scheduled program. 😉

As 2020 approaches there is much contemplating the previous year and what is to come. New Year’s resolutions may or may not be made. I am generally not one to use the New Year for such things. Re-evaluation occurs at regular intervals for me and so January 1st generally comes and goes without much notice. My hope, though, is that 2020 brings much needed clarity for not only myself but all of the world.

My visit to my Mom’s this Christmas made it hard to ignore the continued struggles of my sister and her family. As has been the theme for them since 2011 (and earlier for my sister), they came to my Mom’s broke and struggling to make ends meet. Their electricity and water had been turned off the previous week and my Mom helped get the electric turned back on but the water bill was still unpaid. Their landlords left at the beginning of the month on vacation and obviously had not paid the bills, causing both to be shut off. The past due balance indicated they may have done this purposefully to force my sister and her husband to pay them what they owed them. My sister and her husband have a habit of not paying rent and utilities until they outlive their stays and get evicted, so it is no surprise to us this is happening to them.

Yesterday I went back to my Mom’s to give her the cookies I had forgotten to take. My nephew was there, dropped off Christmas night by his parents without asking my Mom ahead of time. I overheard a conversation my cousin (and BIL) was having that indicated they were headed to a party that evening. My poor nephew was so disappointed that I had not brought his two cousins, my boys, that he broke down into tears and said, “I just want someone to play with.” Both my mom and I continue to worry about him. My Mom will take my nephew in all the time to try to help. He often cries about returning home. He does not like his father who is emotionally abusive and just plain mean to him.

It is not a surprise that I had a dream about my sister last night.

Dream: Horse Attack

The dream began with me talking with my sister and cousin about an idea to start a business. I was giving them advice about registering it as a DBA and encouraging them to not give up on their dream. An old acquaintance was there, someone who died many years ago. I remember him saying, “We will help you when you got successful enough to become an LLC.”

Then I was with my sister driving down dark roads in a city. We had to stop because a group of acrobats (complexity) was in the road doing back bends (pun on bending over backwards for someone). I patiently waited until they finished, watching them in their leotards gracefully bend in ways I never could.

Afterwards we traveled to a shop my sister wanted to visit. It was one that carried special foods that were way more expensive than a regular grocery store. My sister had in her hand a bag of organic oats (need for comfort) to buy. I suggested she not buy it there because of her lack of money (she is a big spender) and so she put the bag down. I remember the owners watching and being very nice despite us not buying anything.

I remember picking up a long, soft blanket (protection) while there and there was also some small animal. It may have been a dog but I can’t recall. My sister took it with her.

What I do remember is that after we left I ended up outside in the mountains (spiritual journey) with some other people. I became somewhat lucid and opted to step back to see where I was. I saw a beautiful mountain peak and a cabin (need for seclusion) with tall, dark windows (something unknown). Behind me was a field with knotted oak trees near the edges. In the field were many long-haired horses (strength, power, freedom) that resembled prehistoric horses – shorter with larger heads and fatter feet. I called them by a specific name but can’t remember it now.

I climbed a barbed wire fence (overcome limits of relationship) and sat on the ground watching the horses graze. I began to take photos and noticed a large flock of birds (freedom from limitation) taking flight. The scene was beautiful! The birds flew behind the majestic horses and the sky was brilliant behind them, dotted with white fluffy clouds and a brilliant blue. The birds seemed almost to be protecting the horses or lifting them up.

As I sat there enjoying myself, the horses became curious and slowly approached me. There was a small horse that I petted and it seemed like it had been the small animal we had seen at the shop and my sister had taken with her. I realized the stallion (masculine energy, passion) of the herd was angry we had messed with the foal and wanted to get me out of there. As I stood up and prepared to leave I came face to face with his angry face. He snorted and stomped his feet and I turned and quickly stepped over the fence to safety on the other side.

I told the rest of the people there to hide because I knew the stallion would not stop at that. We began to look in a parking lot full of trucks for a safe place to hide. I climbed inside the back of a truck (hard work) with a cage (protection) and began to lock myself inside. The stallion had gathered all his herd together and broken down the fence. The entire herd was stampeding (mob mentality, lack of control over others) toward the parked cars, knocking some over. I saw a large Greyhound bus (following the crowd) topple over and the people inside upside down calmly looking through the windows at me.

I waited inside, huddled down, hoping the stallion didn’t catch my scent.

This is where the dream ended.

Considerations

Typically my dreams with horses are positive but this dream seems not to be. It feels like a frustration dream focusing on my failure to get my sister to change her ways. The dream them morphs into my frustration with society as a whole not seeming to want to change for the better. The people in the bus are not even afraid when they are turned upside down. Instead they just stare at me as if I am suppose to do something but all I do is cower in the back of the truck. Perhaps I am afraid I can’t help, or feel unable to help?

It reminds me of parenthood and how we have to step back and let our children learn, even if it means they fall time and time again. Though my sister is not my child, in many ways she feels like a child to me, behaving like a teenager would despite being four years older than me. Seeking out only pleasure and hiding from anything painful or uncomfortable, she is blind to the truth. This behavior is backing her deeper into a corner. Eventually her only escape will be to fight back by doing something. Hopefully it is not something destructive but her patterns suggest it will be.

As her sister all I can do is wait, “behind my cage of protection”, and hope that she learns her lessons to the point that she can free herself from a repetitive cycle of self-destruction. I want to help her but the help she wants only perpetuates her cycle. Like a good friend reminded me recently, “They have to want help“. Very true.

by

Premonitions and OBE

After a day of furniture shopping for our sons’ new bunk bed in which we ended up buying much more (lol), I fell asleep quite quickly. Unfortunately, I woke around 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I was regretting a certain piece of furniture and worrying over some others. Typical buyer’s regret. lol

I was also annoyed by a completely clogged nose, well only one side. There is nothing more annoying IMO!

By around 5am, still unable to sleep, I gave up and opted to meditate while sitting in bed. As I meditated, though, I became more and more sleepy until eventually I turned off the light and fell asleep.

The last thing I remember is a song going through my head:

“Don’t worry, ’bout a thing. Every little thing’s gonna be alright.:

Visions of 2020

I didn’t fall straight to sleep. Instead I lingered in the in-between where I was talking to a man about things to come. I don’t remember asking to know this but, funny enough I remember wondering about what 2020 will bring a couple of days ago.

It all began as a vision. It was so clear that it pulled me out of my reverie. In the vision, I saw my step-father in a hospital bed with oxygen and other cords attached. He looked okay – not at death’s door or anything – but he was most definitely wearing a hospital gown and in a hospital bed. I knew immediately that this was a premonition. I also knew it didn’t necessarily mean he would die.

I remember discussing a scenario where my family moved in with my mom. I suspect I was looking farther ahead to when she would be a widow, living alone in her big house. I came out of this min-dream or vision thinking, “She would never agree to move.”

Then I recall a vision of a black man who was a tad gray and unfamiliar. My cousin, who recently split with her long-term and much younger boyfriend, was dating this older man and moving back to L.A. I remember being surprised because she has always talked about living in the country in her little home until the day she died. Perhaps love changes her mind? She currently lives in a double wide mobile home on family land. The home is in horrible disrepair from years of her letting pets and animals live inside with her and also not being very cleanly.

There was a scenario where my husband was asked to renovate the home and I remember tying it into the idea of moving in with my mom. I thought of our family living in the mobile home while we renovated it. It is literally a walk away from my Mom’s house.

Suddenly, I shifted into what was very obviously a lucid dream. I walked to my cousin’s house, which had been abandoned by her. Inside everything was as she left it. The first thing I saw was a fish aquarium with tons of tiny fish that looked like cats. The fish were hungry and gathering at the front. I got out some food and fed them while talking to someone about how odd it was for my cousin to just leave them and her other animals behind.

In the corner of the room was a bed. Tired, I lay down on it to sleep. When I looked up at the ceiling, though, I saw two visuals of the wall/ceiling. One was the dream scene, another was my own bedroom. I knew instinctively that this was an invitation to go OOB. I think, though, that whoever I was talking to indicated this telepathically, also.

OBE

Without hesitation, I decided to leave my body, though sleep tempted me to fall into oblivion.

OOB now, I was still talking to a man who seemed to be with me. For some reason I see him as a young black man and assume he is my cousin’s ex-boyfriend.

I fly out of the house and outside. The sensation of flying is wonderful and I hover near the barn intent on investigating my grandparent’s property while OOB which I do not recall doing often, if ever. My vision is full-on but everything is blurry and shifty.

Suddenly I am pulled upward toward the sky. I remember telling someone, “I don’t want to go up” while at the same time surrendering to the pull because I know that to fight it will likely pull me back into my body. I end up pausing over the tops of the trees.

Someone is with me and we go into a space full of people. It appears to be a party. There are people crowded in brightly lit, golden hued room but I  hear no music and they are not dancing or moving about like people in a party do. They do seem to be conversing with one another, though. I try to focus in on their faces to see if I know any of them but their faces blur the minute I try to focus. I speak to a few but get no responses. It is like they are asleep or not really there. Despite all this, I am very excited and feel like a child, curious and wide-eyed.

There is a distinct shift and I know I return to my body but I do not wake up or shift back OOB. I assume I fall victim to my exhaustion so some lucidity is lost.

Lucid Dream: Ship of Darkness and Giant Turtle Guide

The next thing I remember is being high up in the trees with others watching a scene below that is hard to recall now. I believe there are people below me swimming in clear water. The people are children and a child is with me, to my left. The entire scene is reminiscent of a fantasy book illustration. It has a very dreamy quality, brilliant colors and sparkly air that is alive with lights.

A woman to my right is instructing me to do something but I don’t remember what she tells me to do now. What I recall next is that the woman has a serpent-like, white body that moves toward me. I am drawn to her and feel that she is inviting me to join or merge with her. The energy is intoxicating and I remember hearing a female voice inviting me to come to her, telling me not to resist. I have a consideration that I am being tempted to do something “bad” but I don’t care and immediately toss the idea knowing it is not bad and fear is clouding my judgment.

I surrender to her and she wraps her tail around me, igniting my lower chakras in pleasure. I remember feeling drawn to stay with her forever but say, “I don’t want this. I want….”. What I want is a feeling that cannot be described in words.

Then I am standing with the woman at what appears to be the entry into another world. We are on the deck of a huge, black ship. The ship surges into a dark space with dark water. Inside, the ship doesn’t go far because it encounters a wall of round, black rocks. It turns back and then enters the blackness again and again, each time stopped by rocks.

I say to the woman, “There are only rocks here.” I am looking for an opening and there is a feeling that just beyond the rocks lies what I am seeking. I believe I am seeking a reunion with Self, or that is what it feel like anyway.

On the third trip into the dark waters I turn to the boat toward the rocks and get off. There is a small child with me who walks ahead of me. I only see the child’t feet, though, and at times the feet of the child shift to my own feet wearing black boots. We/I walk across volcanic-like rocks in the water. The child’s foot touches the water and a snapping turtle head pops up. Then I am watching a turtles attempt to bite my booted foot. Thrilled, I yell, “Look! A turtle! He is trying to bite my foot!”

On the other side of the rocks and water I turn back and see the turtle has grown so large that it fills up the water and towers above me. I grab onto his shell, fascinated and overjoyed to be holding onto him. I can see and feel the shell. It is very real!

The turtle disappears and someone (the turtle maybe?) hands me a penny that is the size of a basketball. I am told to kiss the penny eight times, breathing in with one kiss and out with the other. I do this, knowing that I am setting an intention for all things to work in my favor. It is my “lucky penny”. I remember breathing in deeply and kissing the penny, flipping it over, breathing out and kissing it again. The penny looks very dark like the rest of the place, as if it has been sitting at the bottom of the dark water for ages.

Interpretation 

When I wake up I know that my dream is showing me my future and giving me advice on how to handle what is to come. The darkness is the unknown. The black ship is the unknown, subconscious and perhaps unpleasant emotion. I enter it three times, each time encountering a dead-end filled with black boulders which are obstacles to progress. I do not give up and on the third try stop the boat and climb over the rocks across dark, deep water where I encounter a turtle. Turtles are wisdom and patience and this turtle feels like a guide. I am given an over-sized penny and told to kiss it eight times a certain way. Pennies are good luck and it feels that if I handle it correctly luck will be mine.

What is it I am looking for in this dark place? Well, prior to going there I am pulled into the snake woman where the Kundalini temps me. I do not resist but when asked to remain in the bliss I resist, recognizing it is not what I want. Specifically what I don’t want is the very sexually intense experience that tends to trap individuals in the lower chakras. I am shown that to find what I seek I must delve into “dark waters”. The ship keeps me afloat, though, which indicates I will not drown in the unknown but sail above it. Ultimately, I find a path through the darkness and a guide in the turtle. The penny can be luck as well as new beginnings.