Tag Archives: dreams

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Liberatus

I’ve been slowly retaining my dreams for a few days now. They are getting easier to recall and messages are seeping in.

Dream: Music of the Night

This morning I had a dream in which I was attending a party with a group of friends. I recall the space was dark, lots of wood undertones. There was a guy there that I liked and kept watching from a distance. I had trouble recalling his name and remember eventually settling on the name Sean (name means “gift from God”).

Discussion was going on about having to settle the winner of some contest. Me and another girl had tied. A man informed me that to determine the winner we would have to fold towels (a need to deal with emotions for resolution). The best 2 folded towels out of 3 won. I remember saying it was no fair and questioning what would happen if there was another tie. I can’t recall the other girl but she had longish, mousy brown hair.

I remember seeing the towels and folding (compartmentalization) one up nice and tight and neat. It was red (root chakra; passion) in color. I was very proud of how well I folded it and knew the other girl could not do better.

Then I went into a bedroom where I heard a song playing. I began to sing to it and dance, arms out as I spun around and around and sang the song. It was the Music of the Night song from Phantom of the Opera, but I was not singing the right lyrics I don’t think. I felt really alive and free and was smiling big when I noticed a group of Hispanic boys walking through the corridor outside the room. I had been looking at myself in a mirror smiling and feeling beautiful when I saw them. I looked away quickly and the guys laughed. I felt embarrassed. Then, I overheard them talking to the boy I liked, messing with him and joking around about me liking him. They asked him what he was going to do. He said, “She has liked me for a long time…. [pause as if trying to make a decision] but I don’t know what I want right now.”

When I woke up I remember what the boy said vividly and I said to myself, “Ah, he doesn’t know what he wants!” as if it was a huge revelation. I also recalled the song I was singing.

The song reminded me of when I was in high school. I was transported to the memory of being on the football field with the band waving my flag with the other color guard members to a flag routine I created to the song Music of the Night. Something about the song always made me want to twirl around and around, just like in the dream. 🙂 The lyrics are amazing. Take some time to listen and read. They are very suitable to my current “lessons” (on-going lesson really).

Let your soul take you where you long to be…..

There followed an in-between discussion regarding the numbers 4 and 2. I understood this to mean 6 months for some reason. That would be October. 4 months would be my birthday, then an additional 2. I have been getting October as significant for a while, specifically that I would have a “heart attack”. I suspect this is not literal. So then what does it mean to have a symbolic “heart attack”?? 😀

Dream: Liberatus

A couple of nights ago I had a vivid dream that lasted most of the night. It was one of those continuous dreams where I woke up and when I returned to sleep I went directly back into the dream.

In the dream I received a phone call from my former boss. She was one of the few boss’ I really respected in this lifetime. She was very spiritually in tune. She was also the kind of person that could get people to do what she wanted because of a presence she had. I really, really like/loved this woman. She was an older, black woman, prior military retired, tough in word and action but soft in Spirit. She helped me decided to leave my job and opt for part-time work so I could focus on my family. Something about her energy spoke to me but she was also very upfront and forward in her speaking. Just my kinda person!

In the dream she asked me to come assist her at another school. I agreed and arrived. The school had just been opened and they were having an ARD meeting on a new student who had a 30 day assignment at the school. I was being asked to attend the meeting because I knew the student. My ex boss asked me what I thought of him and I told them he needed to be watched. In my mind he was all my male, Hispanic students from the alternative schools I worked at.

Mostly what I recall from the dream is an overwhelming sense of belonging and purpose. I felt at home with the people there and even thought to myself, “I like this place. These are good people.”

When I woke up I was reminded of that boss and wondered about her before returning to sleep. She is old and so I worried she may have died. I also remembered her name: Rose. It felt significant.

Back in the dream I was dropped off at the school by my husband and left on the side of the road. I looked at the street and it seemed to be in a downtown area but not sure what city. The building was narrow with many levels. In the dream it felt like all the schools I had ever worked at mixed up into one. There was a sense of being advised to reconsider the path of education and helping kids, like a discussion.

During this time I was shown important papers regarding the school. It had just been opened and the paperwork was information on the school. I don’t think it was a contract, just information. I remember reading it over and over and out loud as if I was trying to remember what I read but I can’t recall one word now. I do remember that the information did not align with a school charter but something totally different. In fact, the words were foreign, like Latin, but I understood the language.

When I was picked up by my husband he was in a small, white car. This part is blurry but there was a lit cigarette and I burned myself with it (pun on “getting burned” maybe?). The car was white and I remember knowing it was a rental (temporary path). In the end I walked away from the car as the Fleetwood Mac song, Dreams, played: “Like a heartbeat drives you mad, in the stillness of remembering what you had, and what you lost…..”

As I was waking I heard very clearly, “Liberatus or Confinus?” Confused, I kept listening and heard, “It’s your choice: Libertaus or Confinus” – Liberty? or Confinement? 

I avoided writing down this dream for several days, yet here I am still recalling it and finally accepting that I will not forget it and should not. I have a choice, do I want to remain confined or do I wish to be free? I don’t want to confront this, obviously. My choice continues to be to remain confined because it is easier, safer and I know what to expect. My guidance is asking me to reconsider again whether this is the best path.

Let There Be Light

The above dreams seem to support messages I’ve been receiving lately. I’ve been very restless since Uranus entered Taurus. Actually, since about a week before. It was like a fire was lit inside and I felt intent to change certain aspects of my life, specifically my financial dependence upon my husband. It was difficult for me to control and led to a tense discussion. Once Uranus entered into Taurus, though, I softened and became more patient and understanding of my situation. Mostly this is because I asked for help in controlling my tendency to act before thinking. It usually doesn’t lead to the best resolution of a problem. lol

The advice came in strange ways. Mostly signs from the external world but also a few messages upon waking. The messages from my guidance came in pieces. I heard, “You will go through an ordeal” and “Your impatience with be your undoing”. Then there were messages that were felt/intuited that said, “Wait”, “Remember”. These came with memory that cannot be put into words but feels like I am waiting for a series of events and a sense of Knowing before I make any decisions or changes.

The external message was mostly “Be the Light”. I can’t recall where I first heard it but the main one I recall came from a day of surfing Amazon to find something interesting to watch. I stumbled upon a movie called, “Let There Be Light”. I watched it for a while, knowing it was a Christian movie and low budget, but something kept me watching it. As I watched I had a sudden sense of not being alone and a strong urge to speak in Light Language. I allowed it and was covered in the most spectacular energy and felt to be communicating with several small, child-sized Beings. Ever since this experience I’ve been more accepting, patient and calm.

The next day I heard this song and the message was repeated. 🙂

Protection

As my dream-recall returns there is memory of several incidents in which I dream of surrounding myself in protection. The dreams themselves are lost but not the act of surrounding myself in white light and requesting angels be posted on the four corners of my room. One time I woke after setting up protection while still in the dreamstate and felt unsettled and nervous, as if I had been under attack. The most recent time it felt more like a precaution.

Similarly, dream snippets indicate I am seeking to protect myself form something, but it doesn’t appear to be an external threat but something deep within myself. I have witnessed many times now very erotic scenes in my dreams. Every time I am on the sidelines protecting my daughter (my “ideal”, or “better” Self) , shielding her view of people having sex. In the most recent dream scene my daughter and I are inside a bedroom where two women are having sex. I cover her eyes but watch for a while until I finally take myself and daughter out of the room.

Similarly, there was a dream in which I met up with a man and experienced a strong attraction of the Divine sort. We hugged and I resisted the rising of the Kundalini energy from my heart space. This shifted to me watching a group of 4 women having sex and then being aware of sitting in a movie theater and seeing the scene on the screen.

Dreaming of being in a movie theater indicates I am trying to buffer myself from some aspect of myself. The movie acts to “protect” me from an experience.

The only conclusion I can draw is that I am seeking to avoid feelings of sexual desire and strong Divine connections in dreamtime as a means to protect myself from the “dangerous” side-effects of such experiences.

Considerations

It appears I am trying to encourage my smaller self to stop blocking feelings of passion, Divine love and connection. It is understandable that she would seek to block out all such feelings but the end result is a return to severe energetic blocks in the lower chakras which can lead to a total disconnect from the pleasure centers of the physical body and overall emotional numbness.

We all seek to protect ourselves from that which we deem harmful based upon past experiences. It is part of human nature – the urge toward survival. A decision was made by my small self that feelings of Divine connection and love are linked to sexual passion and sexual passion = illogical, rash decisions that disrupt life and thus are threatening to the status quo. Her goal is no-change, so in makes sense in a way, but is not conducive to learning and spiritual growth.

Change is inevitable. The patience aspect here is that I cannot create change too quickly or else risk total shutdown of the smaller self resulting in regression and delay. Balance is key. We cannot shut out or disregard the needs and considerations of the smaller self. Instead we must be accepting and tolerant, while providing love, encouragement, and guidance.

The “partnership” I wrote about earlier is probably the best example of love I have ever encountered. Because We must love ourselves unconditionally in our human form in order to accomplish what we came here to do. It is very similar to a parent-child relationship. We are our own guides and we are our own children. 🙂 The more comfortable I become with this new perspective of partnership, the more I see how truly remarkable We are and how the key is unconditional love and always has been. Thankfully, now my perception is not always as the “child” as it once was. Now I am able to be both parent and child at the same time.

Having access to the “parent” perspective allows me, as the “child”, to feel the love, fall into the stillness within, and center myself. It gives me access to a well of resources and support that quiet the restlessness and turmoil of the [my] human mind.

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Message for the Masculine

Masculines…..this post is for you.

Dream: Impending Death

I was traveling to Montana (higher realms of consciousness) to meet up with my ex-husband (masculine aspect) for a long overdue reunion. When I arrived there was a parade (sidetracked from achieving goals) in the middle of the road. A man stopped and told me to avoid the right side of the road because that was for the teachers (guidance). I told him, “I am a teacher, just not in Montana”.

Then my ex-husband (masculine aspect) met up with me and went to visit his parents (merging of masculine and feminine). When we arrived the exterior of the house was being renovated (transformation of self).

Inside it was dark. In the kitchen someone had been repairing the microwave (quick thinking/action). I quickly found a bedroom and tried to nap (avoiding awareness). My ex came in and woke me and told me his parents were home.

Their old dog (protection/loyalty) was the first thing I saw when I got out of the bed. He looked on his last leg and my ex’s mom told me they were looking for someone to take over for the dog’s upcoming death. She gave it a name like “death march” or similar.

My father-in-law came in and I was shocked to see how old he was. He also looked near death. He could barely walk, his face was gray and gaunt and his hair all but gone. I remember looking out at the back yard and noting also that there were now tall trees (growth) where there had been none before.

I went outside with my FIL and we entered a small room that was just his, like a man-cave. Inside, I watched my FIL as he fiddled with a huge, metal box reminiscent of a box one would see for ammo during one of the world wars. He began to talk to me about his upcoming death, mentioning how he wanted me to safeguard his transition.

Something that really caught my attention was that he kept quoting a poem. I don’t remember the words now but he said more than once that it was a written by “Keats”.

After he recited the poem one last time I felt the seriousness of the situation and realized he was about to in fact die and very soon. I went up to him and gave him a hug, wrapping my arms around his broad, fragile shoulders. All at once I was overcome and began to cry in heaving sobs. The love was so overpowering that I could not contain it.

I woke up crying.

I believe this was the poem he was reciting in the dream:

On Death

Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream,
And scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by?
The transient pleasures as a vision seem,
And yet we think the greatest pain’s to die.

How strange it is that man on earth should roam,
And lead a life of woe, but not forsake
His rugged path; nor dare he view alone
His future doom which is but to awake.

When I awoke I assumed the dream was a message about my ex-FIL. I figured he must be sick or dying, or at the very least getting very old. I thought, “He is the same age as my mom – 69. That isn’t very old.” But my tears convinced me I must be clearing my own past and my own feelings of guilt towards my ex’s parents.

Dream: The Replacement

Much to my surprise, I returned to sleep quite easily.

I walked up toward a city park lined with neatly trimmed hedges (obstacles in path). A man was with me and departed to my left, bidding me farewell. On my right was a man, standing alone and looking forlorn as he gazed off into the distance. I knew upon seeing him that he was “the replacement” for the man who just departed. My immediate response was to go to him and assist him however I could.

I climbed over a hedge and stood next to him. He was still staring off into the distance. I took his hand and said something positive to him. His response was to answer in a dull tone and continue to stare. I noticed we were standing on a circular (completion) walking track (life track, path) in the park. I said, “Why don’t you go for a run?” He said nothing so I took his hand in mine and said, “I’ll go with you!”

I led him forward gently and he responded by following. I picked up the pace and we ran, side-by-side, along the track together. I said, “See! Isn’t this nice?” He said nothing, continuing to stare as if in shock.

Eventually we cut across a field full of briars (past trauma) and tall grass (balance/protection). I stumbled and lost his hand. Stopping I said, “I shouldn’t be running in flip flops (relaxed state or lack of commitment)!” Laughing, I put on my flip flop with help from a woman and her grown daughter. We began talking and walked together back to the car.

We passed a car, a Honda CRX, which seats only two. I commented on how awesome the little cars were, getting 42mpg (path of Wholeness is more efficient).

We all climbed into another car – me, the man and the mother and daughter. The mother and I discussed the job prospects of her daughter and asked if I had difficulty getting work. I said no because I was in education. The daughter was in business (rational/logical) and I remember feeling sorry for her for being in the line of work. I also thought the mother must think I was her daughter’s age and was curious as to why. Did I look so young to her?

As we drove on the highway it became apparent that the man, who was driving, was “under the influence” of some “drug”. He began to fall asleep and was talking to someone in his head. Noticing I tried to wake him up as the car veered toward the right (conscious action). Thankfully we just ended up on an exit ramp.

The car stopped and I said, “You obviously can’t drive in your condition.” I got out and wandered up the road a bit to a construction site looking for food. It turned out the construction site looked like the set of a movie or play. I found a large tortilla (wholeness) and took it back to the car offering it to the others.

Inside the car we and the other woman discussed how we would all get home (Home). It was decided that I would drive myself home. Then the mother and daughter would drive themselves home. The man would be left alone to drive himself home. I remember saying, “He will just have to manage it somehow.”

As we departed, we took a left (passivity/subconsious) turn across many lanes of traffic. I remember saying, “Good thing it’s not a one-way street!”

I began to talk to the man, now in the back seat. He allowed me into his “dream”. In the dream we were both underwater (overcome with emotion) aboard a large, wooden ship (emotions/subconscious) that reminded me of a pirate ship. The ship was sailing along freely. Then the man threw out an anchor and the ship stopped and floated upward but not all the way to the surface. I realized he was showing me a representation of his life not in a body (free) and in a body (anchored).

We then boarded his “ship” and went directly to the kitchen (transformation). It looked like a modern kitchen and I remarked that one of his cabinets was warped (secrets).

I awoke suddenly with full awareness of the true meaning behind both dreams.

yin-yang-symbol-variant_318-50138Message

The Divine Masculine and the masculine in general is part of the upcoming “critical juncture” I was recently warned about. The masculine is undergoing – or will be – a massive death/rebirth. This is not the typical death process, for we undergo many within a lifetime. This is an overhaul, a “replacing” of the “old” with the “new”.

If you pay attention to both dreams the symbolism is obvious. The old man and father figure is the “old” masculine. He is preparing for death but the poem indicates that it is more than a death, it is an “awakening”. In the second dream I actually witness the masculine departing and his replacement standing alone seemingly confused and distant. Then I guide him along his path, encouraging him the whole time. This suggests the path of the feminine is to lead the way for the masculine which makes sense because all the focus has, up to this point, been on the “return of the Divine Feminine”. Since we have already undergone the death/rebirth process then it is up to us to help the masculine in his death/rebirth process.

My last post in which I discuss a mini-OBE with my “partner” also points to the “critical juncture” being all about the masculine. It was made clear to me that my inability to move forward was because my masculine side was “stepping on my toes”, which symbolically means interrupting/blocking my path (toes). It was suggested that I be patient with the process and “play” with and “nurture” my masculine side (the boy in my dream).

The message made me smile in awe of the way it was brought to me and how my dreams have shifted since my own transformative “event”. My tendency is to view my dreams as “all about me” but in this instance I recognized how now my dreams are all about collective humanity. My inner-expansion has resulted in an outer-expansion.

Similarly, I was able to see how the imbalance of the masculine (collectively) is directly linked to the inability of the feminine to “act”. We have been “stuck” for some time, unable to act or move forward on our collective missions. My personal experience confirms this. I have felt “ready” for some time but my motivation is nil. Sometimes I will be hit with an urge and begin to act only to find myself losing momentum quickly and retreating.

Within ourselves there is also a transformation occurring. The masculine side/aspect must be redeemed. There is healing along these lines and as a result physical symptoms may persist until the healing completes. Most symptoms will be related to the lower chakras but will vary by individual.  For me, I have been wracked with seemingly unrelated symptoms the past three days alone.

At first it was just minor issues – achy joints and skin ailments. But yesterday I woke with a sore throat that resolved within minutes of waking. Then came minor gastrointestinal upset. I did one hour of yoga which seemed to help. Feeling better, I went on an easy run/jog. When I returned home I was violently ill within 5 minutes only to have the illness vanish after a total body “purge”.

So men, it’s your turn. Get ready. We (the Divine Feminine) are here to support you but we cannot DO it for you.

Note from me – Please get your shit together so I can stop being sick….LOL Just kidding. I do recognize it is MY SHIT, too. 

 

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Dreams, Mini-OBEs and Higher Self Confusion

Lots to share so I hope you’re all ready for a long post…. 🙂

First off, this full moon has me in hyper-drive. I have gone from uninterrupted, deep sleep, to struggling to fall asleep, waking really early (3am!) and then being unable to return to sleep.

To top it all off, my joints are achy and stiff, specifically my knees and elbows. My stomach feels like it has a log in it and I have poison ivy and now more acne issues. But hey, the perpetual crick in my neck is gone so I’m not complaining. lol

Frustrated, I asked last night for some intel – Hey, what’s going on and why am I not in on it? 

Ask and you shall receive….

Dream 

The dream began with me in the car (life path) with my husband. He was driving (masculine/logic in control) and in the middle lane stopped at a light. He realized that he needed to turn right (feminine/intuitive perspective) so moved the car sideways toward the right lane to turn only he couldn’t move because we were stopped at the light. When the traffic began to move he got stuck because everyone drove around him. I told him, “Just keep going straight, we can turn right up the road.” He stalled and I said, “If you don’t want to drive, I can…” So he shifted gears and went straight. I said, “Look for a large jail, the turn is right after.” We did see a large building on the right but it was not a jail. Confused I said, “Just turn up there.” So he turned right at the intersection.

The dream shifted and I was getting out of the car and heading into a building where a gathering was to take place. I remember being self-conscious because I had a large scab (healing process) on my left (masculine) cheek (intimacy or commitment) that I kept picking at (interfering with healing). It was about the size of a peanut. I picked thinking the scab was ready to come off but it bled a ton and I had to put tissue on it to get it to stop.

I went inside knowing I had no makeup to cover it up. Thankfully it was low light inside, like a bar setting. Several others were seated at the bar (feeling barred from something) when I sat down and a “bartender” was behind the bar (I’m creating the barrier). My friend Aryn came and sat down on my left and began to chatter away happily, wanting to catch up. I said to her, “Not now. I look like crap.” She stopped talking and I moved my hair over the scab on my face to hide it. I looked around at the others – there were only four – and the lady behind the bar mentioned it was almost time to start. I said, “Then no one else is coming? Good! I prefer it that way.” One of the other ladies said, “I’m sure the others will be here shortly.”

I walked over to the side where the meeting would be held and a man with orange-red hair came out of a door. Seeing him stopped me in my tracks. For some reason he stood out like a beacon in the darkness. He said to all of us, “Everyone grab a card and have a seat in the circle.” I looked over and saw oversized tarot cards with gold embellishments flash like a movie in my mind. The cards seemed to have images of people on them, people from ancient times.

I turned back to the man and said, “Ian. I know you. We have met before, haven’t we?” He smiled and I saw how odd his red hair was. It was like someone had cut his hair in a mullet but the top, shorter portion, was bowl-shaped and the bottom portion fanned out underneath touching his shoulders. He smiled a friendly smile and said, “Yes. We’ve met before. About two years ago now.” I said, “It’s been a long time, then.” He nodded and I felt somewhat uncomfortable, like I should have seen more of him but hadn’t.

I looked in my purse and noticed I had left my phone (communication/connection) in the car so went back to fetch it while the group waited for the others to arrive. I also hoped to look in the car mirror to reassure myself that I didn’t look as bad as I thought.

Inside the car as I was retrieving my phone a woman with brown hair popped in and said hi, calling me by the wrong name. I said, “My name is Dayna.” She said hi again and as I was about to ask her name she left. I remember recognizing her but was not sure how I knew her and this confused my dream self.

As I walked back inside I saw the sky was painted in purple (devotion, love, kindness, compassion). The clouds were also purple and dotted the skyline. My breath was taken away by the beauty of it. Another person mentioned it was not a good sign, like a storm was coming. I said, “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

The visuals woke me up and I was still face down, my neck feeling a bit stiff from the position I was laying in. I felt the familiar buzzing vibrations and warmth of my guidance/partner and smiled, rolled over and attempted to return to sleep.

Visions

I was greeted with several visions or mini-dreams. In one I was walking along and looked down at a tiny, toy car – a red sports car. It brought me out of my reverie very quickly and I noted the vision.  Seeing the car as so tiny and toy-like was a message about perspective.

In another vision I was inside what looked like an oversized birdcage (loss of freedom). My legs were scrunched up against my stomach and my arms wrapped around them. The bars were distinct and the meaning obvious. The message was that I was like a caged bird and I needed to free myself.

Mini-OBEs

Somehow I managed to return to sleep. In this particular ‘episode’ I was in a room with a couple who had a son. They looked Indian and were wearing Indian clothing, the woman especially beautiful in her flowing gown. I was inside a giant, clawfoot bathtub (self-renewal) and their son was standing outside of it talking to me. He wanted a cup of tea (life satisfaction/contentment). I had a kettle and poured him a cup of Chamomile (patience) tea but he wouldn’t take it. I set it down and said, “It’s Chamomile so it will make you sleepy…..You don’t want it? That’s okay. You don’t have to drink it. ” I set the cup down and realized the bathtub I was in was filled to the top with tea and I was bathing in it.

I smiled and the boy playfully began to push the bathtub to make it rock. It almost fell over but then stabilized. His parents had concerned looks but I reassured them we were just playing.

I watched the couple for a while. They looked so beautiful and connected in each other’s arms. I was a tad bit jealous, wanting what they had. That’s when I noticed I was completely naked inside the tub filled with tea. I stood up as I spoke to them and let them see my nakedness (accepting of myself, lack of shame).

The scene shifted and I was inside a home in the kitchen (transformation is about to take place) talking to someone. I don’t recall much of our conversation now but I remember him. He looked familiar but I’m not sure how or from where I knew him. He was tall, broad shouldered and had sandy blonde, thick hair. His face was a bit rugged looking like he had acne in his younger years. His voice was deep and familiar and reminded me of that of a good ol’ boy – typical Texas accent. Our interaction was friendly, like we knew each other well.

I went up to him to try and get his attention and he ignored me, busy doing something. I can’t recall what I was trying to talk to him about but his rebuttal was not mean and I playfully remarked that he was purposefully ignoring me. His eyes stayed focused on what he was doing. My memory only shows something mechanical but what, I cannot say.

At some point I recognized I was OOB and could explore, so I shifted out of my dream body and attempted to fly away. The free feeling was exhilarating! The response back was immediate and without words. It said, “You know better than that.” I was sucked right back into my body but bypassed the typical blackout and went directly back into the kitchen scene. I remember not caring and understanding that I needed to stay where I was, but that didn’t keep me from trying again.

This time, however, I did not attempt to take control of the “dream”/experience I was having. Instead I let myself stabilize in the scene and played along with it. The feeling here was that I “controlled” the playful side, pulling her “into” me and thus becoming both her and me at the same time.

I once again went up to my male friend. This time he was standing in the middle of the room looking away from me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me into a hug. He seemed to be playing hard to get. It felt like we knew each other well and we were being playful. He continued to look away from me, pretending to ignore me. I was pressed up against him and said something indicating I wanted to dance (freedom, balance, harmony). He responded by stepping on my foot. I said, “So you’re going to step on my foot?” He said, “You know it.” We both laughed and then danced awkwardly for a bit, playing around, his foot continuing to get in the way of mine (my masculine side is slowing me down, getting in my way).

For some reason we stopped and stood there holding each other, face to face. I wasted no time. grabbed his mouth and kissed him. I could feel the sensation of his lips on mine as well as his arms wrapped around me and his body next to mine. It was so real and solid. Our kiss was like a half-French kiss, not full tongue but a little here and there. It was nice and familiar, like we had kissed a million times.

Sadly, the second kiss and the very physical sensations that went with it brought me out of the experience. Not long after I woke, I noticed a pain in my tailbone radiating through to my perineum. It was uncomfortable enough to keep me from returning to sleep.

Messages

As I lingered in bed the pain subsided. I suspect my root chakra had activated and some major blockage was clearing.

My partner/guide was close and I knew he was the man in my dream. I asked him why he looked different every time. I have asked this many times before. He said, “I have many faces, as do you.” I have gotten this answer every time but this time I understood what he meant because I have experienced it. We are One but the concept of Oneness is difficult for humans to understand. Human conceptualization of Oneness is a futile attempt at understanding something that cannot be understood from a position of separation. It takes Being it to understand it.

With this I told my partner how I would explain it to others. He complimented me on my ability to put into words something so few can. Of course, I can’t recall what I said now. lol I remember the visuals in my mind, though. I saw humans and how we try to put everything on a timeline, thus we see before and after; past, present and future. Events are all separate and occuring in an orderly fashion. In Spirit, none of this exists. Before/after – past, present, future – they are all NOW. The experience of NOW via human perception would seem very chaotic and jumbled; senseless.

Similarly, people we encounter after we drop these human bodies and corresponding identities are all NOW, too. Thus, your father who passed before you would be familiar as your father in your most recent incarnation but you would also know him as all his past, present and future personalities as well, which are endless. His face may look as it did initially but the more you leave behind Time, the more your perception would change until all you see in him is You. The difference in perception comes with attachment (emotional/karmic). As you release the human tendency toward attachment you embrace your Infinite Self, thus recognizing your Oneness with All that Is.

I laughed as I considered my personality in this lifetime as a “child” of mine, one that I dote upon. For the first time in this lifetime, after years of being referred to my “partner” in Spirit as a “child”, I understood what it meant.

As I write this I recall part of my conversation with the man in my OBE. He said to me, “Be good”, which I have heard from him countless times and never quite understood. In the experience with him I recognized what he meant was in reference to an aspect or part of my personality I consider “good”. It’s the part of me that seeks to please others and is compliant and pleasant. She is happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow, innocent but not naive. I recognized her response within me to his request and then she “partitioned off” and become a separate identity. Yet I was still her and felt to be her. So there I was standing and watching this part of me come out of me, standing in front of us smiling. She was me and I her but she also had her own identity, separate and independent but cooperative and understanding of our connection and Oneness.

Imagine that, just multiplied by infinity. Then meet one of yourself and say hi. That was the person on the street you greeted with a smile. That was the man who accidentally cut you off in traffic and who you rudely honked your horn at and cussed out. That is your mom who you love with all your heart but wish would leave you alone. That is your son. Your daughter. Your worst enemy. Your best friend.

Yep. All you.

I am reminded now of the vision of the tiny car. Cars = life path. They represent us as individuals. It being super tiny indicates that I am being asked to take a larger view of my path and life, to see just how tiny I am in comparison to it all. This perspective is needed now.

crossroad at dawn in rural landscape

Critical Intersection Ahead

There was a message I forgot to mention. I remember hearing that a critical intersection was approaching and I was being prepared for it. Not everyone has reached this intersection. It was made clear that I am not to make those not yet at this juncture “wrong” for seemingly being “behind” because they are not behind but exactly where they should be. I understood but wanted to mention it nonetheless in case those of you reading who are also at this juncture, or perhaps way beyond it, find yourself falling victim to the “us vs. them” mentality. We are all equal in this race. There are no winners or losers. We all cross the finish line at different times but we are only victorious when the last runner crosses the finish line and not a moment before that.

Embodiment and Higher Self Confusion

It was also reiterated to me that I need to do my part and I said, “Of course. Anything. What do I do?” Though not directly stated, I was reminded of a visual representation I received not long ago about the Embodiment (soul transfer/soul exchange/walk-in) process. Then I heard the term, “Higher-Self Confusion”. I was shown how this is part of the process and that just because you have embodied your HS does not mean you somehow become flawless, perfect and without human Ego. It only means you are integrating aspects which have long been denied you in human form. Now, though, memory is returning. The HS Confusion comes in when you have recently undergone embodiment, experienced the transformative process and must integrate the experience. Your human consciousness is left confused.

HS Confusion occurs as we take the pieces of HS we embodied and mix it with our human self. I know I wonder each time, “Why am I seeming to ‘return’ to who/what I once was? Why can I not remain as I was during embodiment?” It feels like a let-down, like it was all a dream or fantasy as reality once again sets in. For me, I have experienced two MAJOR embodiment periods, the first lasted two weeks and the second three weeks (more actually).

This is where the “demonstration” comes in. I was shown how to show the embodiment process and told that if I do a video of this demonstration it will not only give you all an idea of what embodiment IS but also why it results in HS Confusion. What you will see is that as the HS comes into the human consciousness at first it is distinctly separate. You can see the individual stream against the backdrop of the human energy/consciousness. As time passes, however, the HS stream blends into the human consciousness stream and what is left is a brand new blended consciousness.

I have not even watched the video so I hope it is decent. lol Just no time to go back and refilm to make it “perfect”. I figure it says what it needs to say without lots of fluff.

I know I didn’t talk too much about my experience of embodiment so I will a little now. Like I say in the video, my embodiment experiences have lasted weeks. My first experience was two weeks and the most recent three weeks.

Each time I experience embodiment I have specific “symptoms”, the most prominent being that my crown is wide open. There is also a sense of being more than me; of being BIGGER than myself and Remembering SO SO MUCH. There is nothing but the present moment. Anything past or future is muddy, my mind seeming to forget the existence of both. I simply exist and enjoy my existence. It is magical and unforgettable. I am HOME.

Not everyone will experience embodiment like me. Some may have only hints of it lasting mere minutes while others may walk around like I did for much longer than I did. Some even say they exist in the embodied state all the time. I believe we will all be like that eventually, when we are “full up” and completely merged.

Anyway, if you got this far, hope you enjoyed the read and video. Please like and share both this post and the video if you have time/desire.

Namaste,

Dayna

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Repressed Issues Resurface for Resolution

Another dream to recount, this time a lucid to almost OBE. 🙂

The dream took place in two bedrooms and a bathroom attached to a college/university. The bedrooms and bathroom seemed to be living quarters or a house. Symbolically, I find this significant as houses/bedrooms represent the Self and the private self respectively. Therefore, the dream indicates the classroom or lesson is taking place within the Self and private self. 🙂

For most of the dream I was struggling to stay awake. I felt extremely sleepy and kept stopping to snooze in various places. I also recall putting something over my eyes, like a sleep mask or my hand, almost as if I was shielding myself from the light. There was no light, however, as the entire dream took place in low light.

Anyway, within the bedroom I was laying on a large, white bed and struggling to wake up. I knew it was time for my “class” and I needed to prepare or I would be late again. Someone was with me, a male colleague/partner, encouraging me to wake up and being very supportive. What is strange is that the bedroom was within an office that was also a classroom. It felt like my space as well as the space of my male colleague – as if we shared this bedroom/office/classroom.

There is much lost conversation here as I kept losing and gaining lucidity. The tired feeling is most prominent. I felt really heavy with sleep and though I felt the urge to get up and get going I was unable to follow through for very long.

What I recall next is the discussion about my next class – 2nd period (9am) – and remembering it was my math class, the one from previous dreams that I am having to retake because I kept skipping class. I knew I couldn’t miss another class yet kept telling myself I could miss just one day and make it up. I remembering rationalizing with, “I can get the assignment from a classmate. I’m sure it isn’t much.” In my mind I saw the assignment as one page of problems but my memory of them is odd. They didn’t look like math problems but instead like code of some sort. What I remember most is what reminds me of a letter “Q” but it wasn’t from our alphabet.

The thought of missing my math class motivated me enough to get me moving. I went outside into the hallway to head to my math class. My lucidity was strong enough that I recognized I was dreaming and immediately took flight up and over the heads of all the people in the hall. Down below me I could see children of various ages intermixed with adults. Some looked up at me in awe while others were oblivious to me. It was a thrill to know I could be seen and I communicated with those who could see me. One little boy was staring and an adult woman looked but then pretended I wasn’t there. I said to her, “I know you can see me!” LOL My thoughts at the time were that these individuals were like me and could “see” what others could not.

Somehow I ended up back in a bedroom/office/classroom but not the one I started out in. There was an entire backstory but I can’t remember it now. When I went into this room I realized it wasn’t mine and backed out, noting that no one was there. I commented to my male colleague who was still with me that the teacher who occupied it was not like me. His students were allowed to mess up the room and leave it that way. I said I would not allow my students to do that. I remember staring at a student chair (the chairs were in rows like an auditorium setting) that had the stuffing picked out of it thinking I would never allow that. The feeling here was that where others saw disorder and chaos this “teacher” saw great potential and creativity.

I was directed to a tiny camera located in a black satchel on the floor. A video camera (reflection on past) was poking out. It was mentioned that the female agent it belonged to had defected but the camera was left on. The video footage could be of anything.

Somehow I ended up back in my bedroom/office/classroom and the video was discussed. The occupant of the other bedroom/office/classroom was on the video. For some reason I thought of him as homosexual. The video showed him having sex with my mother-in-law (unresolved issue). I reacted with disgust and it was abhorrent to me that anyone would have sexual relationship with her. lol

I opted to go to the bathroom (cleansing and renewal) at this time to finally get ready for my day. While inside I heard keys jingling and worried someone was about to come in but it was a man going into one of the bedroom/office/classrooms. Relieved, I stayed in the bathroom and attempted to put on my contacts (new vision) and wash (cleanse) my face (perception of self) but once again I got really tired to the point of falling asleep.

Again I found myself inside my bedroom/office/classroom. My colleague was with me and I was having a discussion with him while putting my hair up in a ponytail (casual and carefree attitude). My hair was thick making it difficult to get it put up. When I finally succeeded I had somehow woven a large braid (determination) into my hair.

A man entered the bedroom/office/classroom at this time and my colleague departed. The man was the man from the other bedroom/office/classroom, the one who I thought of as homosexual (union of aspects of self). He came up behind me and began to touch me, wrapping his arms around me and fondling my breasts. His intentions were clear. My reaction was neutral, though, with a hint of playful curiosity. There is memory that my colleague/partner and I had discussed allowing such play and so I did not feel any guilt whatsoever. I allowed the man to touch me but ignored him otherwise, continuing to get ready. My memory of the man is shifty but I recall seeing him as very effeminate. His skin was soft like mine and his demeanor very flowing and graceful.

Considerations

When I woke from this dream I felt extremely groggy, like I had been drugged. I knew, though, that I had been OOB and also knew the dream was an attempt to get me to “see” something I am, for some reason, resistant to.

It is obvious to me that the two bedrooms are two different individuals. One is me and the other is “homosexual”. Homosexuality symbolizes union with aspects of self, typically of the masculine and feminine. So this individual is Whole and balanced. The bathroom is, of course, cleansing and renewal, and is located between the two bedroom/office/classrooms. The combination of bedroom with office and classroom suggests there exists within me (bedroom) great potential (office) for learning (classroom).

Based upon some recent, personal life events I suspect that I am being asked to confront lingering sexual beliefs and issues. Since the “event” in February I seem to have “plunged” into (as if diving head first into water) Ego-related tendencies and beliefs that need resolution. These are being brought to my attention in various ways. I have suddenly shifted from being comfortable with sex/passion to rejecting it to the point of numbness. This is a repeat of a previous time in my life and, thus, is reviving related issues. In the past, my body just did not respond to sex in a normal way and now this is recurring. It is like an internal connection had been cut. Sex is viewed as intrusive and degrading, the male gender as possessive and hungry. The tendency is avoidance and abstinence which it is not leading to resolution.

zeal

Additionally, two of the “new” chakras that I am now aware of are becoming more and more obvious. The “well of dreams” or “zeal point” chakra at the base of my neck has been painfully obvious since last Saturday. Mostly I hurt right at the base of my skull and there is no physical reason for it. The other chakra, located at the small of my back along my spine is also very active, but thankfully not in a painful way. It just feels like a ball of swirling, warm energy. When the warm energy is present the chakra at the base of my neck becomes warm as well, as if the two are communicating with each other, and the pain is relieved.

There is also a point just below my crown at the back of my head that is buzzing with energy. In fact, it is doing so right now. At times my entire head feels alive with energy that shifts from one area to another as if syncing. Back of head, side of head, third-eye, and then back again.

The pain I am feeling in the zeal chakra is likely a result of clearing of the lingering sexual issues and beliefs that need resolution. These issues do not feel to be mine anymore as I feel a disconnect from them for the most part. However, the more I delve into them, the more I begin to “own” them.

There is no fear of this clearing process and my dreams suggest I am seeking more awareness of these lingering issues in order to resolve them. I just wish the pain at the base of my skull would cease. It is unpleasant but bearable. I have never had pain in this area until this year. Thankfully, it is not restrictive nor does it give me a headache or any other issues.

 

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Spiritual Retreat and OBEs

I recently went on a three day personal retreat to a nearby lake where I got some much needed me time. My package included a private room overlooking the lake, all meals, and two massage sessions.

My Garden Cottage.

My favorite part of the retreat was my morning yoga on the lake. It was so peaceful and relaxing.

My yoga spot on the lake.
Sunrise.
Me in Savasana.

The retreat property had trails that led to a place called Medicine Rock. It was blessed by a Native American Medicine Woman.

Path to Medicine Rock.
Sign to Medicine Rock.
Balance

I even did some fishing while I was there. Sadly, the rod and reel I borrowed from my FIL must have been old and the string brittle. I caught a good sized black bass after my third cast but as I pulled it up onto shore the line snapped and it flopped back into the water. Later, when I cast, part of the reel flew off into the lake. LOL No more fishing for me, I guess.

It was fun. I hadn’t caught a bass in a long time and had forgotten just how hard they strike. I think my heart was pounding for 10 minutes after. The fish were so active I could see them chasing my lure to the shore sometimes. So, really bummed that I had to quit so soon. Super fun, though! Gotta do that again soon.

View from my yoga spot.
Calm and clear.
Me by the lake at my fishing spot.
Sunset.
From the Thunder Ridge.

On the day I departed (same day as the fish that got away incident), I was blessed by a butterfly encounter. Twice. One before I went fishing and again while I was fishing. I took some photos and a video of one in particular. It was a large Tiger Swallowtail, about the size of my hand. He was nice enough to let me take several photos and a video. At the end of the video he actually flew into my phone camera and in my face. I could feel the wind from his beating wings. So beautiful!

swallowtail

Tiger Swallowtail on Texas Mountain Laurel blooms.

IMG_1903

OBEs

I had an OBE the morning I departed for my retreat. It was short and I only recall leaving my body and then being pulled back in quickly after. Then this morning I had a string of OBEs one after the other. There were so many I forgot most of them.

The first one began as a lucid dream. I remember walking into a store and seeing cars lined up outside, one was a VW van. I went inside and stood in line and soon realized I was butt naked. I got into the elevator to go to another floor to find clothing. I went to the 6th floor and inside I tripped an alarm and so got back into the elevator and selected the 5th floor but there were only two floors to choose from – 5 & 6. Eventually I looked up and saw a meeting taking place behind a pane of glass. I recognized the people inside and could hear them talking. There were adults and children and the light was bright and warm. They encouraged me to come to the meeting and told me how, instructing me to “leave it (my body)” and “come through”. So I went OOB and crossed into and through the pane of glass. On the other side it was dark, not light, and no one was around. I called for them but no one answered. It was like I went into a lower vibratory field and not the one I had seen. I felt an energy reach for me as I pulled back into my body. The vibrations were high and I immediately went back OOB.

The most memorable were the last OBEs when I decided to stop trying to control them and allowed myself to follow where they led. I saw a picture and went into it and found myself flying above a beautiful city on islands of land with trees that connected the islands with their branches. Water was beneath the cities but far below and I soon realized the islands were floating hundreds of feet above the water. I remember recognizing the place, knowing it’s name (can’t remember now) and thinking, “I’m home!” I began to sing loudly a song from The Sound of Music – “Doe a deer a female deer….”.  I flew all over as I sang but kept singing one line wrong – the Fa line. I would sing, “Mi a name I call myself, Sol a long long way to run…” lol I knew I was singing it wrong while OOB but didn’t care.

I came back to my body briefly and then went outside a “window” to a red cable that linked trees and began to balance on the cable as I sang. This time I was singing a song about my life and how grand it was, how important it was to be patient and accept the concept of time while in this body and the importance of being joyful. The words were coming from a space deep inside me and flowing out of my mouth without me having to think of them first. Every word brought me pure joy. I was filled with acceptance and a warmth that is indescribable. I could feel just how tiny my human aspect is compared to the Whole that I AM.

I flew/balanced along the cable as I sang and noticed how the trees were a living network comparable to our telephone lines, linking the cities. Their branches stretched out and twisted far across the water. Soon I was walking along them as if they were roads to other worlds. At one point I flew up high over the island city below but never made it down to explore it. It was as if it were off-limits. I was pulled back to my body by my husband saying, “I made you a Greek omelet for breakfast.” LOL

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Precog Dream Locates Lost Item

Hey everyone. Hope you haven’t given up on me. 🙂 I’m still alive and kickin’ just integrating on a whole.new.level.

In case you haven’t noticed, we have been in an energetic portal for some time now. The exact date eludes me, though. It was after the soul exchange but since I have been in super-hyper-drive I missed the recent shift until just a few days ago.

The portal has me doing intense multidimensional work. I wake frequently and have vivid memories way beyond weird. Even my weirdest experiences do not come close. I suspect they go hand-in-hand with my recent transformation. I am consistently being advised, however, to keep my experiences and Knowing to myself right now, so I am. The exact message I receive when I ask why I feel unable to share my experience is: DO NO HARM. And the feeling to not share is literal – I can’t….am physically unable. If I try to write my mind blanks out and I lose all motivation to do anything on the computer. I often end up doing something else and forget all about what I had intended to write about.

For example, I recently realized that I remember receiving implants for this lifetime (I can write about that I guess). In fact, I believe – um KNOW – that all my past lives are implants.

See. Weird. lol

And I had so much fun remembering/re-experiencing those past lives, too. Sigh. 😛

Why receive implants? To make it through this dense-as-hell lifetime, that’s why! Even though they gave me all kinds of screwed up engrams it gave me purpose and foundation. Without them I would have just died and gone back Home pronto. Totally counterproductive considering my mission.

On to the main reason for this post, which is pretty awesome IMO.

Precog Dream 

I haven’t been writing down my dreams but I remember this one because it was so strange and just kinda stuck in my memory. I told my daughter about it afterward, too, which helped me retain it.

In the dream I saw one of my sons on the floor in the laundry room. He had blankets all around him and was propped on a pillow. In his hand was the Nintendo DS my middle son recently got as a birthday present. He looked up at me while playing it and gave me a “look what I’ve got” smile.

That’s all I remember. Yeah, long, in-depth dream. hehe

The rest of the story here is that about a month ago the Nintendo DS went missing the same day as the remote to our SMART TV. I had to buy a new remote but everyone in the family was convinced my husband had hidden the DS so I swore not to buy another. Plus they are expensive as hell!

The above dream came last week, so about three weeks after the DS was lost. When I woke up I remember wondering if the DS was in the blankets in the laundry room. It made perfect sense that one of my sons would hide it there because my husband always hides their electronics. They hide them so my husband can’t hide them. I was so convinced that was where the DS was that I told my daughter about the dream.

Then I promptly forgot all about the dream and my intention to search the laundry room. <——— I do this kind of thing all.the.time now. It’s called living in the present moment and so that past moment was gone because it was, well, PAST.

So today I wanted to lay in the sun the minute I thought about writing in my blog. LOL I went down to retrieve the quilt we use which is stored in the laundry room. It is the exact blanket from the dream BTW. I was tidying up the room when I turned toward the blanket and the dream came back to me all at once. I thought, “I have to check to see if the DS is in there.” The minute I touched the blanket I felt it. Someone had slipped it under the first fold. HA!

The whole dream rushed into my memory and I was like a giddy little girl as I ran upstairs to tell the kids. What fun!

Thought it would be a fun share. Hope you enjoyed it.

Joy

One more thing….have you met Joy? I have. She lives in my heart all the time now.

When I wake in the morning I can’t wait to get out of bed. I am like a child – eager and excited. There is no reason to it for it is love for life and a genuine appreciation for another day.

Funny Quotes About Joy. QuotesGram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 OBE’s and Unsettling Message

Woke again at 5am. Seems to be the pattern these days.

Dream: Exchanging Glasses

When I woke I was having a dream of being with my “partner”. I don’t remember much of our conversation but we were lounging on a bed together next to busy area with a coffee machine (awareness) and refrigerator (accomplishments) with glass doors. At one point I remember ripping a bag of cereal (new stage in life) and it scattering all over the floor. I didn’t clean up the mess but left it there. The cereal looked like tiny pistachios (difficulties turning into opportunity). As I was leaving (waking up) my partner asked me to give him his glasses (new/different perspective). I had been wearing them and put them on a shelf. I retrieved them and gave them back to him. He was wearing my glasses and took them off and handed them to me. I put them on and the realization of what I had just done woke me up.

Unsettling Message

As I woke I was feeling weird and a bit panicked for no reason. Still very tired but unable to sleep, I remained partially awake because my “partner” from my dream was discussing things with me. I can’t remember it all but healing was part of it as was my present life situation and feelings/emotions. Familiar feelings of apathy and depression were visiting again and though they were easily shrugged off, their presence was unsettling. It made me feel like a failure and, as such, I wanted to give up. I was asking to go OOB and not come back.

Then, my guide said something then that was unexpected. He said, “When you have your heart attack….” I can’t remember the rest word-for-word (as you can imagine) but he indicated that clarity and a spurring into motion/action would be the result. This is typical of near-death experiences (or close calls with death) and makes sense, but the information pulled me completely out of my reverie. I said, “I thought it was a stroke?”, remembering the dreams and earlier messages I had received. The response was that the distinction was not important. In all honestly, it is to me, though.

I tried to ignore the message and return to sleep but there was a nagging that said, “Pay attention” and “Let’s talk about it.” I said, “I thought stopping birth control resolved all of this……and I’ve been eating better, exercising, not smoking, doing everything right…..(long pause)…..will I be okay?” I don’t think I wanted to know the answer, though, because I can’t remember the exact response but the feeling I continue to have is that it is not a big deal in the larger plan that is my life. However, I was thinking, “I will be damaged goods. A 40-something-year-old with a heart attack/stroke record already?”

My thoughts were then directed to May and then on to “six months”. Interestingly, August is 6 months away – my birth month.

By this time I was wide awake but the conversation continued. My guide/partner asked me, “Why do you want to be [in the in-between] (can’t recall his exact wording) to communicate with me?” I said, “Because then I know I’m not inserting what I want to hear. It is less adulterated.” He responded with, “We are One.” As if that explained it all clearly;  to me, though, it was confusing. Ultimately, he explained that we had merged successfully. I wondered when, but could not pinpoint any particular time. I must have slept through it. The whole walk-in/soul-exchange plan came to mind and I pushed it away but not before understanding how it all fit in this strange life experience I find myself in.

Our conversation continued. I kept asking why my partner couldn’t be here in the physical with me. He said, “I am”. I wondered what he meant but I fell further in to a trance-like state, shifting seamlessly into a dream-like reality as images replaced words.

4 OBE’s

Completely lucid, I felt to be in my bed only the room was my room at my mom’s. I was laying in the supine position with my arms over my head. Energy was building around my crown to an extreme and it traveled down, wrapped around my face and then went down my spine toward my chest, filling that area as well. It was a wonderfully relaxed feeling.

Buzzing with energy I heard noises from the other room. Children’s voices and music playing. I knew it was my family awake early and ignored the noises-off the best I could. I was still talking with my partner/guide but I can’t remember what we were talking about.

At one point I sat up and out of my sleeping body. I lingered there sitting on the bed as I took off what felt to be a giant pillow from my face. My vision was clear but shifty and I continued to feel strong vibrations/energy all over my body.

I went toward the door noticing just how vivid and real the experience was but lost lucidity almost immediately shifting back into my body that was laying in the bed.

Back in my body the noises-off were loud again and I shifted immediately back OOB. This time nothing barred my vision and I was able to go out of the bedroom into the living room. My children were inside with my husband sitting at a kitchen table. He had made them all French toast (life satisfaction) and I thought it odd and wondered why he would do such a thing. Also, the table was in the wrong place. The room was lit with a golden, shimmering energy. I walked outside and it was a bright, beautiful sunny day but the brightness was so intense I lost visual and went back into my body.

Once again laying in bed I lingered for a while, enjoying the soothing energy. My crown and third-eye area felt expansive with a peaceful, warmth. It was amazing!

I decided to go OOB again and lifted easily OOB, floating to the door and out into the living room again. I ignored the activity there and went to the front door. It was locked and I said to my guide, “Why did you lock it? I want to go outside. Do you want to show me something? It will unlock.” I unlocked it and went outside. It was still dark out and I remember commenting on that.

Outside I floated for a bit and noticed a massive building to my left. It was like an entire city! I have never seen anything like it. The building spanned acres to the left and right of my mom’s house and appeared to be floating just above the ground. It towered for at least a hundred feet over the tops of the trees.

I lifted myself up to get a better view and was awe-struck by it’s beauty. It was pristine! White and glistening as if made of diamonds or crystals, its walls and rooftops seamless  – no points or jagged areas.

I felt to be pulled up toward the stars and did not resist. As I soared higher I saw the city was more expansive, spreading out in all directions with trees positioned throughout. It was as if I were on another Earth/planet.

I went further up, stars swirling around me as I lost my sense of direction. My astral body felt to be tossed and turned as if going through a vortex. I held on, though, never losing touch with the experience despite my vision blacking out. I completely surrendered to the feeling despite it being disorienting. Never once did I feel fear.

I felt myself vertical again and the movement ceased. My vision returned and I was in a blackness surrounded by stars and galaxies. My body was then shot straight down and I knew I was heading toward a deep, dark lake. I felt myself enter the calm waters and I opened myself up, taking as much water into me as I could knowing that holding my breath was unnecessary. I could not die.

As I breathed in the water I felt myself go deeper and deeper straight down and then float softly back up like a buoy. At the top I knew not to struggle and let myself just float there staring up at the stars. The whole time I was talking aloud about how I knew not to struggle, I knew to just float without resisting and completely expected to be in the dark, calm water for an infinite amount of time. I remember wondering, “Is this all there is? Is this my eternity?” With this I fully accepted the void as my infinite reality. I was 100% okay with it.

The lake seemed to expand around me with no shore in site. Like I was lost in an endless sea of darkness. I continued to float full of acceptance in the middle of the expansive blackness. A round, white object was floating to my left as if to offer support, but I didn’t take it.

Then the water began to recede, or maybe I moved. Land appeared and I could feel sand beneath my feet. I crawled, water-logged, onto the shore and looked up. There, towering over me, was the magnificent city I had seen floating near my mom’s house. I felt a sense of “arrival” as I stared up at it.

The scene dematerialized and I was back in my bed with energy surging through my body. I shifted immediately OOB again and traveled back into the living room to focus on my children who I had previously ignored. There I found my children happily playing with all kinds of toys (domestic joy/harmony). There were also other children in the room who I didn’t recognize. My husband was in the center and to his right was a Christmas tree (family relationships/domestic stresses). I went up to my middle son and gave him a kiss on his forehead as I told him, “I love you.” I looked down at the small child next to him and ruffled his hair. Then I walked around looking at the toys scattered here and there, noticing the tree and wrapping paper. I said to them all, “Look at all these wonderful presents (recognition of gifts)….but it’s not Christmas…..”

I went back in body and lingered there, enjoying the energy sensations and hearing noises-off. Eventually, though, I realized the noises were real and that it was time to wake up.

This song was going through mind, specifically: I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life.

 

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OBE and Message: Propitiatory Flushing of System

It’s been a crazy busy day today so am just now getting to record this mornings adventures.

First, though, I took my NASM personal trainer certification exam this morning at 11:30am. I was not as prepared as I would have liked to have been because of all my mommy duties and such getting in the way. I also kept putting off studying because I just didn’t want to. lol I didn’t get to study until late last night and got too tired to continue. Then this morning the kids were making so much noise that I opted to drive to the test site early and study in the car. I studied maybe 30 minutes and then went in to test. Finished the test in under an hour and then was handed this:

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They couldn’t tell me my score because only people who fail find out how many they missed (huh?). I suspect that I got around an 80% based upon the questions I was unsure of. Overall, the test looked exactly like the multiple practice exams I took when cramming. Good thing I have a great memory! 😀

After the test my husband and I went to visit my BIL and SIL who just welcomed a little boy into their family on January 27. He weighed just under 8lbs. I got to hold him for a bit and he is so sweet, but what little newborn isn’t? As first-time parents (both in their 40s) they have been majorly stressed over everything but seemed to be adjusting.

When we arrived home we picked up my nephew for a sleepover and now it is already dark. The day slipped by much faster than anticipated.

Dream and Message

I was awakened at 5am by a dream in which I was at a job interview inside a school. The woman interviewing me was very nice and told me there were plenty of jobs available. I remember saying I preferred an elementary school and her mentioning how my DAEP (district alternative education program) experience would be helpful.

A male teacher entered the dream and it shifted dramatically. One second I was in the school and the next I was saw the male teacher standing by a concrete column under an overpass (critical life junction). He was holding a blonde, female teacher’s hand when a massive flash flood (emotional overwhelm) came through and pummeled them. He tried to hold onto her but the gloves (caution) she was wearing slipped off her hands and lost her. Within seconds the water disappeared and it was bone dry. The female teacher was nowhere to be found and the male was bruised up. All that was left of the teacher was a red coat (protection).

Then the male teacher was talking to me about the school where we worked. I saw in front of me a map of the inside and the three stories. In the center of each floor there was a cafeteria (issues). I was told that we would meet on the top floor. We discussed my memories of the school and I mentioned how this new school had a class to teach students how to bake cakes (something eating me up inside). Then there appeared a vision of a three layered, chocolate cake. It seemed that the cake represented the “floors” of the school. The male teacher said to me, “Remember, you go straight up.” When he said this my lucidity came on suddenly and I knew the cake was the body and the path I was to take was straight up and out.

Not sure what to think I began to wake up with questions. I heard, “Propitiatory flushing of system”.

For some odd reason this message really freaked me out. Nonetheless, I returned to sleep quite easily.

OBE: Out of Place

I was in my mom’s house inside the bathroom sitting on the toilet (release of emotions). To my right was a portion of stale (old, forgotten) hot dog (sexual desire). I fiddled with it and it stuck to the counter. I remember thinking, “Ewww” and wondering who would leave food by the toilet. When I got up to flush the toilet the tank portion was wobbly and off-center. I corrected it and left the bathroom to go to my bedroom.

Inside the bedroom I stood and looked around curiously. The entire space began to vacillate and shift, the lights seeming to almost strobe. I remember thinking, “I can leave my body.” So that is what I did. I walked right out of it and stood facing the window. Everything was bright gold, shiny and brilliant but did not hurt my eyes. My vision was perfect. I was able to distinguish colors that normally I would not. I also think I was perceiving sound with my eyes, which I have done before. It was as if all my perceptions were tuned up and super keen. When I tried to move it felt like the entire room moved with me. The constant shifting became noticeable on an energetic level – like I became the room and the room became me. The vibrations were revved up to an uncomfortable intensity and my vision was moving/shifting with them. If an energy body can become dizzy then that is what happened to mine. The feeling was uncomfortable and foreign and I thought, “I don’t want to do this.” I backed up and into my body which was waiting sitting on the bed.

There was a nearly indistinguishable blackness, like I blinked, and then I re-entered the dream, stood up and walked into the kitchen. There was a man sitting at the table about to eat coconut (leisure activity needed) cereal. I suggested he pour coconut milk on it. He did and tasted it. I don’t think he liked it.

I woke up hearing part of a song going through my head, “I’m way too good at goodbyes….”

A strange feeling accompanied it and I remembered the message I had gotten earlier and seeing the black cake from the first dream. I wondered about the message and heard, “Proprietor.” I thought maybe it meant that propitiatory was the wrong word, but upon inspection they may be interchangeable. It felt, though, like I was being instructed on where to go at a certain moment in time. And when I sought out my guidance I felt a familiar sensation, one that indicated I had many more guides around me than is usual.

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Hints of Something to Come

After a little over 24 hours of feeling like I was finally getting over my cold and intestinal problems, I was hit in the middle of the night with a resurgence of intestinal issues. They continue with less severity this morning as I hack and cough up the last remnants of the cold I had.

On top of it all my acne seems to be returning. Same spots, same weird, tiny bumps that don’t go away. I realized this morning that the acne spots first started after I moved to this house/location and I have been sick much more frequently than any other time in my life. Makes me wonder if there is something here, something in the water or the house itself (physical, emotional, spiritual) that is triggering these physical reactions in me. It is, by the way, a #11 address. hmmmm

Hints of Something to Come

I had some odd occurrences yesterday that I should mention before I go into my dream last night.

First off, two days ago while running errands I once again had one of those near-panic attacks, well more than one. This time, however, I recognized something – well some things. The panic attack episodes started after the heart connection in 2015 and escalated to the point of making me feel almost incapable of going out of the house. When I have them it is as if a switch is flipped and I become overly aware of my surroundings, like waaaay too open and overstimulated. It seems like part of me arrives or awakens in this body unexpectedly. I feel her arrive. Then I hear/feel that part of myself begin to worry and panic similar to waking up in a bad dream and not knowing how she got there. At the same time a calming energy seems to descend and I hear/feel myself being consoled and reminded it will pass. Then the anxiety passes and I return to a normal feeling as that other part seems to leave. It is so weird! But now it happens so frequently that I am use to it and even though the anxiety still comes on it never lasts or sets in fully. I never know when it will happen, just that it will happen when not inside my home.

I wonder, who is it that is panicking? Is it even me like I assume? Or someone else or some other aspect? Is this part of the soul exchange process somehow?

Then, two nights ago as I was watching Netflix (Shannara Chronicles this time) out of the blue I could feel the feelings of my Companion wash over me. I could feel his love and admiration for me and began to giggle out loud as I was embraced by his energy. As energy spread over me, I looked down at my body and felt an overwhelming attraction to myself, as if I were in love with my body, with everything that I AM. There came with this a sense of playfulness and joy. I felt like a child in a sense but also extremely attracted to myself in a sexual and romantic way. The playfulness was the strongest and I ignored my show, closing my eyes and surrendering to the feeling. My whole body was tingling and blissed-out and remained that way for some time.

The overwhelming attraction and love for myself was so unusual for me and I thought to my Companion, “I am feeling what you feel for me.” He said to me, “I am YOU.” In hearing him say this I knew he was right and what I was feeling were my true feelings for myself and all that I AM. I can’t explain it any other way because, as is the norm, words just aren’t enough. I felt for myself a twin flame/heart connection kind of magnetic attraction and did not reject it but fully surrendered and accepted it. There is nothing in this physical world more beautiful and …… I AM.

I managed to fall asleep with few dreams. The dreams I did have are similar to the one below, indicating an internal separation in process. It is hard to explain but I actually built a fence between myself and my “sister” in one dream and in another I was taking care of baby peacocks (birth, new growth), keeping them from being eaten by cats. In another I was with my “crazy” sister. I spent a long time consoling her. She felt everyone was abandoning her, she was all alone, unloved and had no friends. She was highly self-destructive and deteriorating quickly.

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When I woke there was no lingering in the in-between. I was wide awake and thinking of my dreams. There was a peculiar feeling I couldn’t identify. Out of the blue and barely noticeable there came a vision in front of my eyes. A very small word outlined in a glowing white box: Congratulations. This caught me off guard because I was not in the in-between. I wondered, “Congratulations for what?” I heard back, “You have surpassed hurdles unseen.” Not able to identify these “hurdles” I went back to thinking of my dreams. Then I heard, “We have something to show you.” I thought, “Okay” and then went back to thinking of my dreams. lol

Another vision came to me then. I saw a pile of stuffed toys, all of which were action heroes – superman, batman, spiderman, etc. It was odd and I wondered about it. Then the Coldplay song came to mind, “I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts…..I want something just like this.” I laughed aloud at this but recognized my subconscious created it. It wasn’t a message from some “guide” but from ME.

Again, though, I heard a message, almost indistinguishable, come through like a conversation I was having. I heard, “Tomorrow” and then after a couple of minutes, “Some of the benefits and securities will be refined.” Considering how odd the message was, I figured it was time to get up and face the day.

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Dream: Get Out!

This dream began with me being in a hurry to get somewhere but not really worrying about being late. I kept telling myself, “No need to rush. You’ll get there when you get there” which is how I have been handling lateness in my waking life for sometime now.

I went into the bathroom and prepared to take a shower. What is odd here is that I had with me all my personal toiletries in a bag despite there being an entire set already in the bathroom. Both sets felt like mine but when I saw the set in the bathroom I dismissed it knowing my set was better suited to me. I took my shampoo (new image/self) and toiletries and replaced the other toiletries (old image/self) one by one.

I vaguely remember taking a shower (spiritual renewal and forgiveness) and feeling each distinct stream of water hit my face and body. It was a refreshing, calming feeling – a familiar feeling. In the background I could hear voices speaking to me like distant memories or echoes. They were asking me questions in a disapproving tone and judging me for my actions and decisions. It felt like these people were my physical family – mother and husband specifically. I ignored the voices, though, and focused on the warmth and comfort of the water.

Then I was inside a house selecting clothing (public self) to wear. The entire time my mother (mother aspect) seemed to be shadowing me, asking me questions and judging my actions in a passive-aggressive way. She kept suggesting this or that but never directly saying she disapproved. The main thing I remember her saying is that I would be late if I didn’t hurry. Again, I ignored her, focusing instead on the clothing I would wear. I couldn’t find what I needed, though.

I left the house I was in and headed to an apartment. The apartment was very nice (life improvement), nicer than any apartment I have ever lived in. Two bodyguard-looking men (feeling insecure or unsure about life) met me there. They wore all black and had ear pieces in. One handed me a cell phone and said, “Looks like he’s following through.” I read what was on the screen and said, “Yeah.” The screen had a legal letter and I remember it said “petition” and “claimant” on it and that my husband was accusing me of being “homosexual” (self-love, self-acceptance) as a reason for divorce. There was a feeling of finality here as well as Knowing of what was to come. The sense was of my entire life crashing down on me but I was in total acceptance.

The bodyguards also mentioned to me that I was behind on my assignments. I acknowledged them and then rushed to the closet to look for a shirt. My mother intercepted me though and began to make ultimatums to get my attention. Her main upset was that I was behind on my assignments and would ultimately “fail”. She told me she couldn’t accept my behavior anymore and insisted that it was time for me to “get out”.

I went into a huge walk-in (may indicate soul exchange) closet (unveiling of previously hidden aspects). I looked through the clothes but couldn’t find what I was looking for. There were many long, sleeveless dresses (feminine), some dress shirts and a bunch of trousers. The shirt I had put on was long-sleeved (protection from adversaries) and too hot (heated emotions) but all the clothes in the closet were also too warm for the weather. Eventually I opted for a wrinkled (wisdom, learning from past), indigo (spirituality), short-sleeved (freedom) blouse noting that it was too dressy for the pants I was wearing. I put it on not caring how I appeared and left.

On my way out I heard my mom yell angrily, “Get out and don’t ever come back.” I knew she meant what she said but felt I had to do what I was doing regardless of what she thought. There was a Knowing I didn’t belong there anyway.

Then I received notice from my teacher that I was failing her math class (lessons in logic), the last class before I received my degree. The class end date was in 4 weeks but on the calendar in my mind I saw the month of July which is much further off than 4 weeks. I was told that I would have to score a 103 on the final to pass the class. I knew this was impossible. The most I could possibly score was a 98 and even that was unlikely. I remember sitting at a picnic table (unity and togetherness) in a park (period of readjustment after serious personal conflict) telling a man that it was okay if I didn’t get my degree. I already had a Master’s degree and so another one wouldn’t make much of a difference. The man said to me, “But you are only one class away from finishing. If you stop now you will have to start all over again.” I didn’t care.

Reflection

I woke up in an alarmed state thinking, “Oh shit.” It seemed like the dream was about going over choices/decisions and the aftermath that would result. I was so self-assured in the dream, easily ignoring all the “voices” of disapproval and judgment. The decisions I made in the dream involved very out of character things for my personality. It felt like a complete disconnect from the important people in my life. The disapproval of my mom was the main “voice” of disapproval I heard though other family members (sisters mostly) were audible as well. If my mom were to issue an ultimatum like that it would devastate me – or would it? Even as I type this I am feel able to accept her doing something like that. Huh?

After waking and while getting my kids off to school, I was wondering, “Okay. It’s tomorrow but nothing happened.” Not long after that I realized a song was going through my mind over and over, “I gotta feeling, that tonight’s gonna be a good night. Tonight’s gonna be a good, good night…..” 🙂 I’ve been feeling like dancing all morning. lol

 

 

 

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Kundalini Dream – On to the Fourth Clearing

Had trouble falling asleep last night. I was wide awake and had activity in my heart and crown chakras. I opted to meditate as a solution but it didn’t help. Instead I got more intense energy swirling and my mind was really active.

My guidance came through at one point and informed me that I had a surprise coming soon. I replied, “Okay. I would love to meet God in an OBE….or have another blissgasm.” I heard in response, “Soon.” I thought back to them, “Soon? Your soon? That could be a year or more from now.” They replied, “No, yours.” I thought, “If it’s my soon then it would be tonight.” I felt a time period of three days from that point and accepted it.

Soon after I drifted off to sleep.

Kundalini Dream: History Class

The dream began inside a typical high school or college classroom environment. The color of everything had a golden hue to it. I was sitting in a desk in the first row probably three or four seats from the front. A male teacher with brown hair was up in front of the class. He looked to be in his mid-twenties to early thirties and was quite “normal” in appearance. My dream memory of him reminds me of a Ken doll – very clean cut and nicely dressed.

The teacher instructed the class to get out our textbooks and go to page 240. A female student sitting to my right looked over at me and gave me a look that said, “What are you doing? Do what the teacher says.” I ignored her and made no move to get my textbook which was sitting on the left side of my deck. It seemed like I was the “bad” student, which is the opposite of how I was in school growing up.

When he noticed I was not following instructions he called me out, asking me if I understood his instructions. I said, “Yes, I did.” He said, “If you don’t complete the assignment you will receive a zero.” I said, “I don’t care. I’ve already taken this class.”

There was again a look from the student to my right. She had dark hair and mocha colored skin and seemed very concerned for me. Something about her changed my mind and I exhaled as if saying, “Oh alright. Fine. I’ll comply just for my own amusement.”

The teacher began to talk about the chapter we were in. It felt like the first chapter of the textbook despite being on page 240. I don’t remember looking at the textbook but listening to the teacher. His words slowly shifted into visuals in my mind as he spoke. His questions to me eventually morphing into my own voice as if I was talking to myself.

I could see a giant landmass and was asked to identify it. I responded, “Pangaea.” We discussed the biological organisms that occupied Pangaea. He asked me, “What did they consume?” I gave him the name of some algae but I don’t recall it now. I only remember seeing them as if under a microscope.

There is just memory of being fascinated with the subject, the ecosystem and organisms. It seemed like I was learning a history unknown to man and so my full attention was on every detail. Sadly, my memory of these details is gone now.

Then I was talking to the girl next to me about lunch. I asked her what the lunch was like. Did they have enough food or would I be hungry when lunch was over? I specifically asked if the cafeteria served food on trays or if we could go from station to station and fill up our trays as many times as we liked. She confirmed that it was the latter and this satisfied me. I felt like the school wasn’t so bad.

We must have been released for lunch because I was in the cafeteria walking alongside the girl student. I don’t remember eating, though. Instead I ran into a guy I knew and followed him to a find a private place to talk. He and I were long-time friends and lovers and our intention was to sneak off someplace and fool around. lol

I can’t recall what he looked like now but I remember that when we met up we immediately embraced and kissed. The weird thing is that when we kissed he seemed to put his finger in my anus. lol When he did this the energy in my root chakra began to build up and my throat chakra lit up as well.

Surprised I pulled back and asked him, “Why did you do that?” He said, “I like it.” It felt like he wanted my permission to continue to do it. I said, “Oh okay. If you want.” lol

Then we were in my house (my Soul/Self) and I was undressing in the bathroom (purification and self-renewal). The door was open and I could see into the bedroom (intimate part of Self). The house felt to be mine specifically, not my parent’s like one would assume considering I was just in a school environment. Again everything had a golden hue to it.

As I stripped off my clothing I remember my friend calling out to me from the bedroom. I yelled back that I needed to pee. I used the toilet quickly and looked down at my feet preparing to take off my socks (warmth and comfort). My socks went all the way up to my knees and were a mottled brown and made of a thick material, like wool, so very warm. I decided to keep my socks on and knew my friend would do the same. In fact, I had a “memory” of us together both wearing socks and nothing else. lol

When I went into the bedroom my memory of the dream goes dark. All I recall is the effects of our lovemaking – energy swirling and intensifying in different areas of my body. I felt something inserted where my anus would be on my physical body. At the same time it felt like something was inserted from the opposite side but not in the vagina as one would assume, but higher up where my pubic bone is. When the two met a very pleasant energy resulted and felt to roll and rumble in a big, swirling spherical mass of energy.

At the exact same moment something felt to be inserted in my throat region only it was not down through my mouth as it was the last time I had this kind of “work” done. The trigger seemed to come from within. If I had to say where it originated from I would say my spine, up near where my neck meets my head.

These two areas swirled so intensely that it began to wake me up but not before I noticed other chakras activating, specifically the heart, crown and solar plexus.

I shifted in and out of the in-between, the energy continuing to swirl and expand. I was too aware, however, and ultimately had to shift position. Usually shifting position stops the energy, but this time it continued on for a bit after.

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Music Message 

My “friend” from the dream was with me when I awoke meaning this particular guide was also my dream “lover”. I connected the message prior to sleep to the activity of the Kundalini and thought, “This must be my surprise.” I suspect that the “three days” is also relevant but may only be related to the full moon and eclipse on the 31st.

It was 5am and I was still tired and so rolled over to attempt sleep. But my mind was on the dream and on something I had considered last night. I’ve been waking early quite a bit, usually between 4:30-5:30am. Afterward I cannot return to sleep but linger in the in-between until I finally wake. I thought it may be a good idea to take advantage of that time by inserting a spiritual practice of some sort like meditation. So, that is what I did only my left nostril was completely clogged and really irritating me. Have you ever tried to meditate with some physical ailment like half your nose clogged? Nearly impossible!

So the meditation part went out the window. My left nostril has been clogged from the beginning of this cold but lately it is only when I am laying down. So irritating!!!

I lingered in bed and somehow drifted into the in-between long enough to recall a conversation.

My guide and I were discussing the Kundalini process, specifically the clearing of the heart chakra. I was told the 4th clearing was on its way. There are 5 total I think, so this is good news (I hope). The history of this clearing was also discussed. I remember saying to my guide, “2013-2015” and knowing it was a preparation period leading up to the first heart opening. I don’t recall specifically when my heart first “opened” but I recall that after the birth of my youngest in 2014 that the Kundalini began to rev up. It seems the trigger for my heart opening was getting pregnant in 2013. Prior to that I had a trigger in 2002-2003 – divorce. Then the heart connection was the trigger at the end of 2015. So that’s three “triggers” and three heart openings. I wonder if I will need a trigger for this one?

In recognizing just how very long the Kundalini process had been going on, I became a bit discouraged. I said, “It’s taking forever.” My guidance replied, “You will complete in this lifetime.” My response to this was, “Then I will die, right?” lol I saw myself as being a very old woman so death would be the logical next step. My guidance remained silent. So I said, “What is the point then?” – meaning why do all this work and then just die when it concludes?!

It seemed like things could move faster, in fact I knew they could. All I needed was a catalyst. I wondered about it, then. Previously I was told two are better than one, meaning that two working together toward similar goals allow for acceleration of the process. Working as a team the two propel one another forward. Working alone takes longer.

Not longer after these thoughts a song came to mind – “I walk alone…..”:

So guessing that I am out of luck. No physical connection with another human walking a similar path is coming along to propel me forward this time. Sigh. That trigger was so much more fun/interesting/exciting than divorce or pregnancy.