Tag Archives: dreams

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Dream: Emaciated Horse

I was warned yesterday that I would get a headache and it was implied that it would be related to being too much in my mind. Well, the headache came last night and continues this morning. I have been instructed to focus on my heart to relieve the pain. When I do this, the headache intensity decreases to almost nonexistent. How curious that my headache would be connected to too much mental focus!

Dream: Emaciated Horse

My sleep was active. I have many, many conversations and dreams throughout the night. In this particular one I spent the majority of the dream reliving the 12 years I spent with my dog, Trooper. While reliving it I was discussing with my Companion the pros and cons of having a pet. He was also trying to get me to consider getting another pet.

In the dream I was presented with puppies to adopt. I saw picture after picture placed in front of me. They were so cute and I wanted one really badly but kept turning them down. At one point I was shown a very emaciated horse that was being harassed by a German Shepherd. The horse was near death and kept falling and the dog would go right for its head. I felt sorry for the horse and said, “Why doesn’t someone kill that dog!”

I woke up at 2am from this dream crying. I still don’t get how I can grieve more for my pet than a person! It has been almost 3 years since I had to put Trooper down and I still miss him.

Additionally it seems the dream communicated that I am slowly killing the horse in me. Horses symbolize freedom and love of life. The emaciated horse is quite vivid in my mind still. Very sad to think I have done this to myself. Dogs are protectors but if seen attacking or growling they can indicate an inner conflict.

Dream: Lockers 42 and 95

In this dream I left home to go grocery shopping. I recall being very happy about this and heading toward a road in the country. When I arrived, I parked and walked down a sidewalk that went through tall pine trees and past several office buildings. There I encountered a friend from school who I knew from 5th – 12th grade. I said hi to her but she appeared completely drunk and was talking to herself. I remember acknowledging this and moving on but feeling sorry for her.

Then I was talking to a woman who looked just like me. We were standing by some lockers and I was keying in the combinations. She said she could not remember the combinations and I told her I would write them down for her. I wrote on a paper numbers 42 and 95. I opened both of them to show her how and then took a pair of shoes out of locker 95.

Messages

When I woke this time my head was pounding and I was told to focus on my heart. When I did the pain numbed but was still there. I then had an experience that I have not had since I awakened in 2003.

When I first opened up to my gifts I had incidences where there would be on-going conversations that would just be in my head. Multiple individuals talking about random things, sometimes they would talk to me and try and get me to pass on messages and other times they would just be so loud that I would yell at them to be quiet. This is what happened this morning. It can make even the sanest person feel insane. Thankfully I have dealt with it before and so knew how to shut it off. This time I just went into my heart space and it stopped but the experience was unsettling because I recognized my other self participating in these conversations. Very weird!

I asked my Companion what was happening. Why did I have this awful headache? Why was I receiving all this random communication? And why was I recognizing myself included in and responding to these communications?

I was told the headaches were part of the adjustments and they were working on it but that I needed to stay centered in the heart. As for the strange and seemingly random conversations I was told the veil is very thin now. I was also told there is a comet passing by whose tail is interacting with the Earth. In researching this I found that Comet Catalina is passing by Earth and will be closest on the 17th.

There was also again a message to stop resisting what was happening and will happen in my life. I was encouraged to let go and allow. This was easiest when in my heart space, of course.

 

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Dream: Removing Band-Aids

I am currently learning what happens when I leave my heart and allow my mind to run free.

Dream: Removing Band-Aids

I was at a family recreation center with my husband and kids. I was talking with someone the entire time I was dreaming but can’t remember the conversation now. However, I do recall that while we were talking I sat down and began to remove band-aids from the bottom of socked feet. There were lines of them across the bottom of my foot and they were difficult to remove. I started to pick them off in groups but a top layer would come off but the bottom layer would remain. I eventually pulled of my sock and pulled them off all at once.

The whole time this was going on my husband, who was bowling, kept missing the pins and getting gutter balls. He was being instructed on how to bowl properly and I suggested he try using his left hand instead of his right. He still missed the pins.

There was also two small children – one a little toddler girl and the other an infant boy. I was watching them intently while taking off my band-aids.

Interpretation

I awoke hearing my Companion reminding me that any resistance will only delay the inevitable, usually in not so good ways. He reassured me that events in my life will move me in the direction intended and to not resist them even if they are uncomfortable or seem drastic. I kept pushing the fact that I have free-will. Apparently, though, in certain situations and in order to align with one’s prearranged path in life, free-will can be a double edged sword.

The dream symbolism of the band-aids on my feet is still strong in my mind. My first thought is of the message I received that my energy has been anchored. Was this why I was seeing my feet? Was I perhaps not fully anchored and thus had protection (bandages) that I no longer needed? Or is it that my feet symbolize my foundation, understanding, independence, mobility and freedom? Taking off the bandages could symbolize that I no longer need to heal these things and am ready to stand on my own two feet.

The bowling is also interesting. Bowling gutter balls, which my husband was doing time and time again, is symbolic of being in a rut in some aspect of your life. Despite listening to suggestions he just could not hit the pins. I can’t help but think this symbolizes a discussion or consideration that this area of my life needs attention.

Considerations

Since waking I have been popping back and forth between head and heart. I have so many questions that there are just no answers to now. I only get snippets of information and the rest is withheld until needed. This means I can see only to the next mile marker on the road of life. What lies beyond is still a mystery.

My mind is resisting the path I am seeing ahead. My heart just accepts. My mind has tons of doubt. My heart just accepts. My mind tries to see the future and all possibilities therein. My heart is calm and knows all will be well.

It’s so obvious that the heart is the place I need to be. Tell my mind that! I have to use my mind to live in 3D, so it is not going anywhere. The challenge is to keep my mind under wraps. I need to put a big sign on all the tangents that arise in my mind that says, “No access” or “Dead End”.

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Dream: Getting My Driver’s License

With all the information I woke up with, I forgot to include the very vivid dream I had.

Dream: Getting My Driver’s License

The first part of this dream took place inside a very large but abandoned high school. I was with a man who was taking me through this school and then out of it. I remember being very playful and knowing I was OOB yet I did not become lucid! Very frustrating! The overall feeling was I was becoming acquainted with the past and moving into the future.

I was then taken across campus to a gathering place. I remember seeing large grass covered areas that spread between buildings and seeing young people of various ages (infant to teen and older). At one point I was talking to someone about their upcoming marriage as I was washing a thick, white paint off of my face. I knew I was married but when I looked to my side to find him (the man I had been with) he was an infant. I remember thinking it absurd to marry an infant!

Then I was talking with the man again. I was told, “You need to get your driver’s license now.” I thought about it and said, “That will be easy. I use to have one. I got it when I was 16.” Then I couldn’t figure out how old I was. I knew I had been 16 once but couldn’t remember when or what I looked like.  There was quite a bit of confusion as to who I was, where I was from, etc. Finally, I recognized I was older than I thought and I said, “All I have to do is renew it”.

Interpretation

When I woke a memory of the day before came to the surface.

Yesterday I had been feeling like my body was not right – there was too much trapped energy, too much tension. It needed to be released and I was instructed on how to do so. I knew that the body was not suppose to feel like this – that I was not suppose to feel like this! The feeling I had in my body was of a rigidness, one that tends to go along with the emotion of anxiety or upset. There was knowing that the human body could be so much more than it has been for me.

With this memory came an understanding that I was new to all this – to being in a body and managing the body. But I am not new…am I? Yet at that moment I knew I was and that I needed to re-learn the ropes.

So it seems that I my driver’s license is symbolic of learning how to use this body I occupy. I knew how to do it once but need a refresher. I believe the white makeup is symbolic of me taking off a mask I have been wearing to reveal another me, the true me. The marriage to the baby is perhaps marriage to a part of my Self that is new to this body, thus like an infant.

 

 

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Message: We Will Fill Your Cup

I had the entire day and house to myself yesterday. It was a much needed reprieve from my normal, hectic life. Plus the K energy subsided almost completely. Relief! I continue to have a lull in the energy but have incidences of high heart chakra energy and my third-eye is back to a near constant buzz.

I felt so good I visited the gym. This time I had absolutely no issues whatsoever and managed to stay over an hour. Yay! I did notice I was being stared at quite a bit. I was staring right back! hehe

Dreams: Unexpected Party and $70

Despite sleeping very well again, I had odd dreams. In one I returned to a home I didn’t recognize to find my mother-in-law in my kitchen burning something in the oven. I asked about it and then freaked out because my entire house was dirty – the floors covered in dirt and leaves, the kitchen had food and mess all over and the living area was just as dirty. I lost it and my MIL informed me that she was preparing for the party.

What party?

I went outside to try and find my husband and saw a parking lot full of cars and people. All of them were coming to my house! I spent most of the dream after that pacing in and out of my house and yelling at people that I didn’t know. I got lots of stares, like they were thinking, “What the f#^k is wrong with you?” I didn’t care. I was waaaay past caring.

I confronted my husband about it and he just ignored me. He does that and it just infuriated me more. I went back inside and locked myself in the back room frantic to figure out what to do. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t – I don’t make enough income on my own and don’t want to return to education. There were 75 people I didn’t know and who I didn’t care to know in my house and they weren’t leaving. My head was spinning. What do I do?

I finally just  went back to the living area. There I saw children playing next to a Christmas tree. I got on my hands and knees and went up to the tree. I remember thinking,”What is a tree doing here? I already took it down!” I began removing the ornaments close to the floor because there were little ones. One of the children came up next to me and I smiled. I remember noticing a significant calm come over me. Suddenly I didn’t care about my anger or my lying husband. I just wanted to be with the kids.

Then I found myself at a check-out line holding a small vacuum. I gave the woman my money and she gave me back a wad of bills and said, “Here’s a bunch of money”. I took it and saw $70. Knowing she gave me incorrect change, I took it and went to the parking lot. I got to the car and there was my husband and two other men. I was still furious with my husband but got into the car with him and the other two men. What is funny is they were eating plates full of eggs!

Interpretation

When I woke I was not happy and immediately asked to be let out of this life. I completely wanted out. I don’t know why. It was like I was being asked to make an impossible decision and I didn’t want to.

I know that the dream is symbolic of how my marriage and relationship dynamics are not aligned with my heart. The anger and frantic energy is my upset at feeling unable to do anything about this.

The Christmas tree is representative of the gift my Team told me I received this Christmas – love. The children represent this love and they dissolve my anger completely. I feel at peace despite previously being angry. I feel like this is a message to focus on my heart.

Messages 

Of course my Companion was there and asking me to talk about my feelings and focus on my heart. I was still upset and asking for him to trade places with me since he seemed to know so much about what I am going through. I get so frustrated with him!

I saw very clearly a shoe box in the top of a closet. On top of it was very clearly written, “Questions”. I asked if I could ask some and was told yes but quickly found I didn’t really want to know the answers yet. I kept being referred to my heart but focusing on it made me feel like I felt in my dream – the frantic part. Who wants to feel that way? Not me.

Then I saw an empty cup on the shelf next to the box. I heard, “We will fill your cup”. I was reminded of the question, “Is your cup half empty or half full?” Mine is just empty. The symbolism was not lost to me.

My Companion tells me I was given a gift and this is what will fill my cup.

 

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Message: Be the Hummingbird

I took the advice given by many of you and focused on taking care of myself and this crazy energy last night. First, I ate a big meal. I immediately felt better. Then I took a hot bath with essential oils – 8 drops of lavender and 2 of Roman Chamomile. I also played music, specifically by Rising Appalachia (thank you KLeigh!). I was in one of my high’s before long and didn’t even mind when all three of my children crawled into the bathtub with me and began splashing.

Afterward I began to lose the high and fall into the exhaustion, but I let it happen and did not resist. My Team has been very close and the message I keep getting is to let go and allow. I went ahead and had some wine and watched some T.V. The whole time I had strange energy sensations all over my body and kept receiving high heart hugs from my Companion. Wonderful and calming. I also, for the first time since these energies began wracking my body, I had a rising of desire from the lower chakras. I pushed it down but it made me smile. I think my blockages are clearing.

I slept very, very well.

Dreams

I almost felt normal before , of course, I began to think that everything that happened to me these last 10 days or so was not real, not true, and I could be normal and move on with my life as planned. This thought was immediately interrupted with a knowing that I knew better than that. Then everything flooded back in and my body was covered in another energy hug. I was told, “You will rest tomorrow and we will talk tonight”. I recognized the energies of my Council of 12 and knew we would talk about contracts. Something felt final about it and I asked, “We are finalizing the contract?” I received confirmation but I joked and said, “Nothing is ever ‘final'” and reminded him of my ambivalence. Instead of humor I received a more serious energy from him. That shut me up and I went to sleep.

Teaching Developmentally Delayed Adults

The first vivid dream I recall is actively teaching adults who were most obviously developmentally delayed. We were doing language and vocabulary activities and I soon realized they were all at very different levels. Some were already able to spell while others couldn’t. I remember directing them to use block letters to spell out an answer to a question. It was like they were toddlers in preschool but some of these individuals were older than me!

I woke momentarily and knew this dream was representative of the various levels of consciousness of those on Earth. It was a bit disturbing to think that so many of us are at the spiritual toddler stage!

Be the Hummingbird

I had an entire dream where I was learning to be the hummingbird. This is symbolic of my mission here. I am being asked to fulfill my mission.

Bus Turned Trailer

Another vivid dream was of my husband and family. I was walking down a dirt road in the country. Tall, green trees and lush grass were all around and the dirt was that orange-red color I remember from my childhood days in east Texas. I looked up and saw my husband towing a white trailer behind him. He was not in a car and the trailer was one that should have been hitched to at ruck. I said to him, “Where’s your bus? Is it broken?” He just turned, smiled and waved at me and continued on. I knew he had our children in the trailer, but I kept going in the opposite direction

This dream woke me up with a start. I knew the symbolism right away. The loss of the bus is significant. Being on a bus or some other form of public transportation is representative of one’s family or group dynamic. In this dream the bus was broken and replaced by a trailer. In recognizing this I saw that a message I have been receiving was coming out in my dreams. My husband and family are moving in the opposite direction from me.

spiderweb-2

Messages 

The amount of information coming to me now is extremely high. I have been processing it for some time now. This partly because I am struggling to accept it and partly because I don’t know how to impart it.

Message 1: My mission is to embody the light; to be a beacon of light as well as to ground and anchor the new energies. I am also to activate others and act as a guide. I work with energies in many ways, more than I am aware of in this Earth consciousness.

Message 2: I am being asked to embody the light now. To do this I must drop relationships and connections that do not harmonize with my own frequency. If I am unhappy, depressed, angry, etc then I am not embodying the Light and so not fulfilling my role here. I have to “step up” now. Others are also receiving this message.

Message 3:  When I hit the age of 40 next year things are really going to shift to a higher level of intensity. I have already been warned of this as it will start next summer right before my birthday to prepare me. I am told 40 is a significant age for more than just me. It has to do with spiritual maturity and ability to hold more Light.

Message 4: I was greeted this morning by Eric who is a member of our ground crew. He is living presently in a physical body like me. He showed me a web, like a spider web. In the center the fibers of the web are very close and they get farther apart as it expands. He explained that the web is being extended now. With this explanation I was told that some members of this web are interconnected with me at a very, very deep level. These are the ones in the center. Others a less so and as the web extends outward even less so. Those most connected to me, those with me in the center, are extremely spiritually intense connections.  The others are less intense and more casual relationships. Our strength comes via these connections. The web grows stronger with each connection.

We are building the web now. The center is first and the most important. We will gather on a spiritual level first but eventually in the physical as well. I see large areas of light across the U.S. These epicenters of Light are crucial.

Message 5: I again saw my Companion as non-human in form. Those who read my previous description say he is Arcturian, but I identify him by his energy, not his appearance.

This time I was accepting of his appearance. He is beautiful beyond description! In accepting him, I accepted myself. I looked down at my hand and saw a non-human hand. Three long, thin, blue fingers and one thumb with over sized fingertips. I laughed because I was immediately reminded of a frog. Also with this acceptance I began again to think in terms of We. I have done this before but it had stopped.

We have many names. We take many forms. We are the Many. 

Elohim.

Day of Rest

When I awoke this morning my husband and three children were gone. They are on a camping trip and won’t be back until tomorrow evening most likely.

Day of rest indeed! 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Dreams: Missed Test and Egg Within an Egg

Yesterday turned out to be a very strange day. After the panic-inducing heart chakra intensity, I was hit with nausea and total exhaustion. I also had a strange sensation around my head that felt similar to my crown being very wide open except that there were vibrations with it. For a brief moment I thought I would spontaneously leave my body. So I waited it out – the nausea, dizziness, vibrations, and strange “off” feeling eventually settling. When it did settle, my heart chakra fire was completely gone and I felt a sudden sadness descend upon me.

My heart felt like an empty pit. No matter how much I focused on it, it remained unresponsive. However, it did not feel normal. It felt hollow, like someone had come and suffocated my heart center or tried to cover the energy with a blanket. I guess it could also be related to someone throwing water on a blazing fire.

The sadness soon turned into despair over my current situation. For some reason everything that was wrong with my life, specifically my family situation, was uncomfortably obvious. My Companion would not leave me alone about it, either, and I was not liking the questions he was asking me. I have often described my Companion as being my own personal shrink, one that there is no escaping. Sometime his persistent questions and nudging can be excruciatingly annoying. Like a personal hell. This was the case last night.

Dream: Missed Test

I had a dream that woke me at 3am. In the dream I was in a car with someone discussing school. I could see that we were traveling down a street with golden colored buildings that resembled a college campus except the buildings were smaller, more like houses. We stopped at a mailbox while the man informed me of my current progress towards my degree. He mentioned that I had been lax in my studies and had been skipping classes. There were only two more classes until I finished.

A large, gray mailbox was opened. Inside were 8 smaller mailboxes. These were the mailboxes of the students in my class. Inside each mailbox were 8 cards. On the envelopes were congratulatory messages and I knew that the comments inside the cards related to a successful score on a recent test.

I had forgotten about the test and this was the main reason I was with the man discussing my progress. The test was on the 24th and my score was not among the mailboxes because I had missed the test. I felt that I had failed it but the feeling I got was that I could still make it up.

When I awoke I was protesting. To make a long story short, I am being asked to let go of situations and relationships in my life that are not complimentary to my mission. My human mind perceives this as a threat and is reacting accordingly. I am completely refusing to do anything I am being asked to do because to do so means a complete disruption of my life. In essence, it means a complete new start. How can they ask me to do something like that? It is horrifying! This is the test I missed. I know now why I missed it. I will no doubt fail it miserably.

Dream: Egg Within an Egg

I somehow fell back to sleep. This time I was with two men and they were talking about time travel. Dr. Who was mentioned but not present. When Dr. Who is in my dream it usually indicates I am receiving healing.

The two men were discussing how to use a clothes dryer as a portal to another time. I saw the open dryer, the light very bright, but did not want to go inside. I never did go inside.

It was then that someone took me to the side and showed me a very, very large egg. It was the size of a person. It was cracked open and inside was the yolk of a normal sized egg. It was an egg within an egg. I was asked to look at it. The golden yolk was the last thing I remember before waking.

When I woke I had a very long talk with my Companion. And I continued to reject what I am suppose to do. I got very sad again and he again pointed it out to me by saying, “You are sad. You are lonely. You don’t have to be this way”. While we were talking about the upset this change would cause to my life he showed me an onion and I watched as layers and layers were being removed by some unseen person. He said to me, “Sometimes even the onion cries”.

Heart Hurt

This morning the heart energy is back but this time it seems to hurt. There is an extreme loss feeling with it but it is again wide open. My lower back hurts and I am restless again. I don’t want to be in my own home. I have an urge to go on a long vacation – alone. We have a family trip in January and I want to cancel it or find a way out, even though I am the one who planned it.  I don’t understand why I feel like this. I love my family.

 

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Recent Happenings

This post is just on random things I have been noticing but have not had time to write about.

Starchildren

It has become clear to me that my middle child, who is about to turn 5 in January, is definitely a starchild. He Remembers and is telling us about it.

For a few weeks now he has been calling people “humans” and does not associate himself with the word “human” at all. In fact, he gets very serious about how he is NOT a human.

For example, yesterday he wanted to play with his new tent. I was telling his daddy that it was two person tent. My son said to us afterward that he wanted to sleep in it but thought he couldn’t. He said, “But it is only for humans!” My husband and I laughed and said, “You are a human”. He said, “I am NOT! I want to sleep in it but I’m not human!”. We asked him who humans were and he said, “Not me. I’m a kid”. So we assumed he meant humans = adult. He refused that explanation, too. We just let him not be a human and joined him by saying we weren’t humans either but we can sleep in the tent because non-humans can sleep in it, too. 🙂

Aliens

My children keep referring to me as an alien. I finally asked why and my daughter said they were playing a game. I asked what I looked like and my son said, “You look like you but it is not really you. You put on a costume that looks like you do now”. I asked him to explain. He showed me. He said, “You put on your body, like this” and then pretended to put on a body. I laughed because he is so right! He couldn’t tell me what I looked like underneath.

Real Dreams

My middle son has been telling me about his dreams lately. He knows I “leave my body”, as does his sister, but he has never talked about his dreams. Then a few days ago he went on and on about one of his dreams. He said, “I was in our house mommy but it was empty and it was REAL! I walked around for a while and there was nothing in our house but it was REAL, mommy, real!” He continued to tell me how it was real. I asked him if he flies and told him I fly in my dreams. He said, “No, I walk I think”. I asked, “Do you have legs?” He thought really hard and said, “No. I think I float”. Bingo!

Other Comments

My daughter has been asking questions lately, too. She asked me one morning, “Mommy, what is real?” Now I know she knows the difference between real and make-believe but this was a question brought on by a conversation about ghosts. She likes to ask questions about them. We had talked a while about ghosts and then I forgot about it. Then she asked what real was. I asked her to think about it. She has not gotten back to me but I am sure she will.

Besides my children who constantly amaze me, my older sister called me yesterday. She never calls me. We had just spent time together over the holidays and had a really cool conversation about the show Ancient Aliens. She and her husband believe the same as me, which really shocked me. We had fun talking about it among other things. Then, when my sister called me, she said, “I was really attracted to your energy when we were at Mom’s house. Your energy was different. I don’t know how, but it was nice. You seemed really, really happy.” Now I didn’t have this experience at all. I was struggling with intense energy surges the whole time and kept to myself. However, when I was interacting with my family I felt really high and happy and was talking very, very fast and excited-like. I don’t know why. Maybe I am happy? What a thought.

Intense Heart Issues

One more random thing. After a week of being a sloth-person I decided to visit the gym. I go at least 4 times a week. It’s my escape and I physically push myself which is kind of like meditation for me because I can’t think when I am working out. Anyway, on the way to the gym my heart was pounding and burning through my chest non-stop. It continued while I was lifting weights and I had to cut my workout short because my heart would not stop and it sent me into anxiety/panic attack mode. On the drive home it continued but the closer I got to home, the less intense the energy until it just completely calmed down.

The thought came to me that maybe I should not be going to the gym. This is not the first time I have had this thought. This is also not the first time my heart has been crazy on the way to and during my workout. It seems to be screaming at me to not go there. But I like going to the gym! 😦

 

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Raging Fire

The Kundalini has returned and this time with a vengeance. She is all fire this time around and not letting me wimp out apparently.

I was instructed to “anchor my energy” last night before bed. I saw what I was to do and so did it. I sat cross legged and put my hands over my heart like Bashar does and then set out anchors all around me – four of them. I was told the energy is only going to intensify and to be ready for it.

I slept well last night but it was during the night that the fire in my heart chakra spread to my lower chakras. Thankfully, I remained asleep through it all but I was lucid enough to know what was going on.

Dream: Raging Fire

It just so happens the main dream of the night had to do with fire. In the dream I was at my Mom’s house in the back yard at the exact point where I saw the UFO when I was 12 years old. There was a man who appeared to be young, maybe 14. He had  dark hair and tan skin and was either wearing a body suit or was completely naked. There was a fire all around us. I don’t recall how the fire was started but I had a part in starting it and me and the man were tending it together.

All was fine until the fire jumped to the top of a tree. I panicked and yelled at the young man to get a water hose. He smiled at me and took what seemed like a very long time to get the hose. Then he just held the hose, water barely dripping from it, and smiled at me. I felt he was taunting me in the dream and got desperate saying, “We have to put it out! We have to put it out now or it will spread!” He just kept smiling and standing there with the hose. I saw the fire spreading across the tree tops and was completely mortified.

The Fire is Alive!

Throughout the above dream and most of the night I had a raging fire in my mid-section. I could feel it moving. It felt alive and the more it moved, the more intense the sensations got. I have many memories intertwined with the fire dream of trying to satiate the energy that was moving inside me. I was not allowed, though, and recall distinctly being told this energy was different and to “leave it alone”.

To describe the energy is almost impossible. It is like burning, raging desire. I was literally squirming in my dream from the intensity of it. It was extremely raw and uncomfortable but at the same time passionate and tender.

Busy Night

When I awakened at 4am my entire lower back hurt around where my kidneys are located. My heart was still active and I had an intense energy mask around my eyes and forehead. Memories of the fire were very strong and it did not take me long to figure out what my dreams were about and what had been taking place during the night.

First off, I had visited the “ship”, the big one, the Seraphim. I recall being in a circular room with brownish-green walls. I could see panels in the walls that interlocked almost seamlessly and knew I had been in this room to be “worked on”. I don’t think anyone was actually present in this small room. It seemed like a chamber of some sort rather than a room actually. I believe the color of the walls was a reflection of whatever healing was taking place – like my current energetic imprint colored the walls.

In another memory I was joining a group of individuals. There were not many, maybe three, and they were huddled together. What is intriguing about this group is that they had no shape. Instead they were pure energy. Their energetic signatures were complementary – purple, aqua, blue. My first thought was, “They make a rainbow of indigo”. So beautiful!

There was one individual who resembled a purple or Indigo flame. He was spectacular and I was intensely drawn to him despite seeing the other two energy beings next to him. I say “Him” because I knew somehow his energy was masculine. My memory stops here, though, and I feel I was “removed” for consult.

Rebirth

When I awoke this morning I had an explanation of the process that I am going through. My Companion keeps telling me, “You are being reborn”. I awoke knowing this to be true. I remembered right away that in my dreams last night I was a child, probably only 7 or 8 years old. I instantly knew this is why my sense of humor has been so good lately. Children are playful and joyful and so have I been this last week despite all the strange changes taking place.

I also know that this process is the rising of the Kundalini and that it is literally burning through my blockages. I have had K energy for a while, so I am use to it, but this is unlike anything I have ever experienced. This is powerful beyond measure. I feel as if my body is being ripped apart from the inside but the “pain” is pleasant and intoxicating.

The reason I am experiencing such high high’s and then hitting exhaustion is because the amount of energy that is pouring into me right now. I can’t sit still for very long and eventually my body can’t take it and exhaustion sets in. This cycles through the day and I feel like a manic-depressive – high, low, high, low. The mania is wonderful. The lows are tolerable.

I am told I can do nothing to stop the process. I can only help it along.

Signs

I know this post is long, but I have to include this just because it is so synchronistic. Yesterday, while visiting my Mom’s, my daughter brought me a snake skin she had found on the ground right next to me. I had been in a daze, trying to somehow channel the intense energies running through me, so did not see it. She put the snake skin on my lap and said, “Look Mom, a snake lost its skin!” I saw it and was impressed but let her drop it on the ground at my feet.

 

 

 

 

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Dream: Two is Better Than One

I’ve been struggling with the shifting energy and my own energy lately. I seem to fluctuate between very high high’s and zombie-dead lows. It is like I have this immense amount of energy pouring through me during the highs. But during the lows I feel exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically.

With these fluctuations comes solar plexus and sacral plexus discomfort. For three days now I am hit mid-afternoon with discomfort. It is not horrible or anything but makes me think I have an intestinal flu. Sometimes I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. This is the solar plexus pain. The sacral plexus pain feels akin to menstrual cramps except at the wrong time of the month.

I am also struggling to sleep and when I do sleep I don’t feel rested. Even so, I wake up extremely alert and with high energy.

Through all this is the continual heart chakra fire that ebbs and flows.

Today, Christmas, has been the most energetically draining day I have had in a very long time. I think the full moon, the current energies and the intense experience I am having combined to create a very unique circumstance for me. I am completely drained.

I am ashamed to say that I am seeking out alcohol more this week than I have in a long time. I am not a drinker. I hate getting drunk. Hate beer. Hate hard liquor even more. But three times now this week I have had a drink….or two. It doesn’t help, I know. There is a little voice saying, “Be a good girl. This will only slow the process”. I roll my eyes and say something not so nice in return and pour myself a drink.

And please all pretend you don’t hear this – the cigarettes keep coming out, too.

I totally don’t give a rat’s a$$ at the moment so when I get my head on straight later you can all remind me of how stupid I was being. K?

Anyway, I was getting to a dream wasn’t I? (No I’ve not had a drink today)

Dream: Two is Better Than One

I was in a church with unfamiliar people who I associated with as “family”. I don’t remember what they looked like. At the time in the dream I was trying to get away; escape them and this suffocating feeling that came with being around them. I found the bathroom and saw two little girls were already in it. They were twins I think but I mostly focused on the one girl. I saw that the toilet was really low, like for a child. I said something to the effect of, “I hope I can get up from such a low seat”.

I turned to the door to check that it was locked and tried to turn off the light. It was a strange knob instead of a switch and when I turned it a loud grumbling ensued. I jumped from the sound and quickly switched it back off. I saw then that I had turned on the heater and I felt a rush of very hot air hit me. I didn’t want the heat on.

Then I turned back to the toilet and sat down but I didn’t use it. The one little girl came up next to me and pulled down two toilet seats from the wall. It was like they had been hidden there. She sat on one and pointed to the toilet seat that was touching the one she was sitting on. I was confused. Why would anyone want to use the toilet that close to another person? I questioned her on this. She said to me, “We do everything together. Two is better than one”. I remember thinking that using the bathroom was a private thing and being very uncomfortable with the thought of sharing it with anyone. Yet I felt comfortable with the little girl as she sat right next to me.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream is about healing. In fact, I know it is. Toilets and bathrooms are all about cleansing and emotion. You can tell a lot from the state of the toilets and bathrooms in your dreams. If clean, this is a good sign as your emotions are not muddled. The dirtier the more muddled or confused. Toilets themselves are about releasing emotions and things in your life that are no longer useful. Flush away the old to make way for the new.

I find the part where I accidentally turned on the heat the most interesting. It not only scared me but I promptly turned it off and didn’t want it on. Heaters in a dream can signify that one is opening themselves up to loving and being loved. Heat equals emotion or the flow of feeling. In some cases this feeling can also be desire.

Finally there is the message and the fact that there are twin girls in the bathroom when I go inside. I understood the message to mean whatever this healing journey is that I am on, I am not suppose to go through it alone. Two is better than one this time.

Silver Lining

I wanted to end with something funny since my sense of humor has been off the charts since all the heart fire began. I just break out into giggles for no reason and even when feeling drained like now I find my humor is high. Thank goodness for silver linings.

Oh and I got a turtle pendant for Christmas from my husband. Just makes this more funny now. 🙂

comic

 

 

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Dream: Chapter 1 of 7

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I went to be early but was instructed to focus on my heart, which was still blazing, and had a massive expansion of energy through all of my chakras one by one. It literally felt like each of them was turned on. I mentally saw their knobs being turned. Root, second, third, throat, third-eye, crown. I thought I was going to pop right out of my body it got so intense but then it stopped abruptly. So it is no wonder I couldn’t sleep. My energy was extremely high and I was riding a wave for most of the night.

I managed about 4 hours only. In that time I recall little but I did have one very vivid dream.

Dream: Chapter 1 of 7

I was with the young man who I saw in a previous dream. He is an apprentice, or at least that is the best word to describe what he is doing. In the past dream he was with me and several others but I had a very strong bond with him. I coddled him like he was my child – very protective. This young man had been tagging along to “learn the ropes” but was not doing any actual work in that dream.

In this dream he and I were alone. He was showing me something he was writing. He was writing it with me but he was the only one who had done the writing thus far. I saw very clearly, “Chapter 1” written at the top of the page and saw an entire hand written page below. I don’t know what it said. I was more focused on the the title because he said there were 7 chapters total. I remember being surprised and not knowing anything about this book. I was so surprised that it woke me up.

Third-Eye Intensity 

I am still experiencing the intense heart chakra energy. Since I have no words to describe it well enough I am just going to call it a “fire” as it seems to burn inside my chest. I don’t think it is going away any time soon. I am spending my time outside whenever I can and keeping busy. Every once in a while I have to take a break and focus on my heart until it passes.

For about a week I lost my third-eye activity. I had been experiencing it non-stop for many weeks along with heart and crown activity to a lesser degree. This morning, upon waking, it was back and so was my Team. It has been on and off through the day along with occasional energy surges in my throat and solar plexus.

The third-eye activity tends to intensify when I am thinking something that is truth. It is validation. I didn’t realize how much I had been relying on it. I have missed it! It is a comforting addition to the heart chakra fire.