Tag Archives: dreams

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Crystal Necklace

I slept like a rock last night. I needed it after the night before and the strange, unsettling and jumpy energy I had. I took two walks yesterday just in case the energy needed a little settling. One with my kids and one by myself. It is amazing how a walk by myself can bring such relief. I had an instant emotional sigh come out of me and felt my shoulders relax. I walked for 25 minutes and wanted to do another lap.

Stray Cats and a Long Test

I had many vivid dreams last night but they are mostly lost to me now. I suppose that is to be expected since I was so dead tired. I only remember snippets of dreams, two specifically.

Stray Cats

In one dream I was walking along residential streets, similar to those around my home. I saw two cats ahead of me. One was black and white and the other was put white. I slowed down and called out to them, “Hey kitty, kitty”. The black and white cat seemed friendly but the white one was cautious. I was cautious also. I don’t like cats. The white kitty came up to my bare leg (guess I was wearing shorts), sniffed me and then rubbed up against me. I relaxed at this, knowing he was not feral. I didn’t lean down to pet him I just looked at both of them and said, “Sorry. I don’t have any food for you”. And I walked away from them. They followed for a short while meowing.

Long Test

This dream was longer. I was in a room with several other adult test takers. We were sitting along a long table and there were enough of us to fill both sides. There was some issues with getting started and some questions, but we started without much issue.

A tall, very obese woman went to the front to talk to the proctor. She was very upset and pacing. She spoke loud enough for us to hear. She was saying, “I can’t do this. The test is taking too long”. She went into hysterics at that point and so I got up and went over to her. I put my hand on her shoulder and she looked over at me. I said to her, “I will stay with you for as long as it takes. If you stop, I stop. We are in this together”. She let out a huge breath of air, hung her head as if to say she knew she had to take this test, and followed me back to the table.

After sitting down to take the test there was some mix up with pencils which sent me looking for one and looking over the shoulders of other test takers. Someone mentioned they were worried. I said, “I’m not worried about this test. I know I will pass it”. I sat back down with my pencil and looked at the test. There were science questions that involved math. I remember solving a problem about volume using a measuring cup full of water and seeing how much water was displaced by different objects.

Short OBE: Crystal Necklace

I was awoken by my husband running on the treadmill. I don’t know how early it was but it was still dark outside, so likely 5:30am. This irritated me as I could not go back to sleep. Somehow I ended up dozing and finding myself in semi-lucid dreams.

The dream I had was of me talking on the phone with an old classmate. The connection was messed up and she appeared to be talking in her sleep. When I checked the phone I saw a video of a very messy kitchen. I recognized the house and an entire dream I had of being in the house flooded my memory. In that past dream the house was very clean and I had been doing dishes. Now it was cluttered with all sorts of objects and I remembered that this had happened when we moved.

I then began to walk up stairs, the steps felt very solid and real. This woke me up. I felt subtle vibrations and knew I was at the point where I could exit my body. My heart was also pounding and I remembered to ignore it. A decided to try to dream and when I did this the vibrations intensified and I felt a pull and heaviness come over me. I knew I could exit so I thought, “Why not?” and rolled backward. When I did this, I felt myself exit my body and the exit felt sticky, as if I were stuck to my body. I pulled away and the last heavy tendrils of energy fell off of me like clothing.

The first thing I saw was a radio at the foot of the bed. It was playing music and I smiled and began to walk/dance away from it towards the bedroom door. The room was not completely dark but it was hazy. My energy was high and I felt good. I noticed something very heavy hanging around my neck. I grabbed it, knowing it was a necklace, and pulled it over my head. Though I did not see it, I felt the chain and the heavy object attached to it. It was a large, oblong, clear crystal. I swung it in circles as I walked through the door.

When I went through the door I noticed I was struggling to breathe. It was like I was taking huge gulps of air. I knew it was my physical body that was doing this and was at first very alarmed, but then I knew not to worry. Unfortunately, I did worry about my physical body coming to harm. I stopped the thought as fast as I could, but it was too late. Within seconds I was back in my body.

In hindsight I wonder about the crystal necklace I took off while OOB. It was only after I took it off that I struggled to breathe. I am not experiencing any physical illness right now  – no cold, sinus congestion, etc. So, it does not make sense to me that I would struggle to breathe. The only thing that seems to make sense is that the crystal was there to protect me and I took it off. I wonder if this is linked to what my guide told me about OBEs? He told me, “You will leave”. It makes me wonder if perhaps going OOB caused issues to arise in my physical body?

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Sewer Cat

Yesterday was a weird day. I say that because I had such an odd feeling most of the day. I felt unmotivated and restless. I was moody and negative as a result. My mind kept focusing on two things: my physical health and my happiness.

Skin Issues and Concerns

My dry skin issues continue. Thankfully my face has dramatically changed from bad to good. I was experiencing tiny bumps, redness and dryness all over my face. Prior to that (this is going back to August last year) I had chin acne that looked more like lesions that I needed antibiotics to clear up. Now my face feels baby soft, is clear and radiant and if I do get any acne it clears up overnight and without redness or irritation. So that is the good news.

The bad news is that I am getting more itchy patches of skin. This started about six weeks ago with a patch of eczema on my arm. That went away. Around the same time I saw a strange looking spot on my right leg that looked like it was healing. I had no idea when it happened so I kept an eye on it. Since then, the sore has not healed and now looks like a pink mole. Additionally, the itchy patches have spread to both of my legs and one elbow and forearm. Though they are bothersome, especially after a shower or at night when I am trying to sleep, they are not getting larger or causing that much trouble. I use to get rashes on my legs in the past and always had to take get steroids to get rid of them. I was told it was an allergic reaction to something but the cause was never identified and since it didn’t happen much I just let it go. I suspect I will have to get steroids again to rid myself of this irritation.

The pinkish bump is what is bothering me the most. I have an appointment with my dermatologist in three days and I suspect she will want to biopsy it. Yuck. Of course I think the worst case scenario – that it is some kind of cancer – and have been scouring the internet to figure out what it is. It looks mostly like psoriasis or basal cell carcinoma. Neither is a concern to me but more of an inconvenience and a bother. I really don’t want to have to have to deal with either.

Happiness

It has been a long time since I have felt truly happy and it has not gone unnoticed. I have tried to keep myself busy so as to not think about it too much but it is pointless to try to run from the truth as it will eventually catch up to you.

I won’t go into the details about what exactly it is that is causing me to feel this way in part because I am not exactly sure what the source is. I will say that it is not the first time in this life that I have felt this way and I suspect that it originates not only from experiences in this life, but in past lives as well.

I was shown in a vision this morning two dimly lit rooms attached to the side of my house. When I saw them I said to my guide, “We don’t go in those rooms”. He said, “You should”. I recognized the symbolism and mentally went into the rooms, noting that the floors were drab and dingy and needed to be replaced. I thought about renovating them and felt up to it, but nothing happened and the vision vanished. I recognized the message, though.

I have read online that the ascension process leads to all kinds of life changes. People sell their houses (check), relocate (check), leave their jobs (check), experience death and loss (check), leave relationships, and often do things that others consider out of character. This is purposeful in that it is part of the healing process as people begin to recognize those things in their life which are not true to them.

If I reflect on my life in the past year, I experience most of the above changes. I left my negative job in February, 2014 only to again change jobs in August, 2014. In this juggling of jobs, I moved from full-time to part-time and it has relieved my job-related stress. I also had my third child in March 2014 and took six weeks of maternity leave. While on maternity leave, my husband and I decided to sell our house and relocate. Then my grandmother died in May 2014. That same day, my house sold after two days on the market. The rest of the summer was spent preparing for moving by finding a new house. At the last minute we found a house. The numerology number of this house’s address is an 11. The two streets leading to the house are named, “Glorious” and then “Ascent”. So imagine driving home every day and reading “Glorious Ascent” on the way to your new home. 🙂

Despite these changes and the relief that came with them, I am still feeling a change needs to be made. My home life is less than ideal; my relationship with my husband strained and becoming more so. I continue to pull away from him and I honestly don’t know why.

Sewer Cat

I went to bed with both of the above issues on my mind. It is no surprise that I had a night of vivid dreams.

The one dream I recall the most involved me coming home to a house that was not mine. I felt very out of place in the dream but it did not “wake” me up within it. There was a little girl there who I recognized but could not remember. We talked and then she opened the front door and let in a scruffy, white cat. She was excited, saying the cat had gotten lost and she was so happy he was home. She mentioned how some people had been abducting cats for profit and she had worried he was one of them. I remember thinking that I hate cats.

Then she said something about hearing a noise. I listened closely and sure enough there was a noise coming from the bathroom. It sounded like a meow, very faint.

The girl ran into the bathroom and came out holding a wet, white cat. It was covered in grime and looked like an old rag. She said, “He must have gotten stuck in the sewer. I pulled him out of the toilet”. I thought that I would rather stay away from the cat. The girl was happy as this cat had been lost as well.

I remember at this time meeting with the girl’s father. For some reason I was staying with them at their house and I slept in the same bed as this man. It was completely harmless as we were both married, but there was an odd energy between us, an energy that pulled us together like a magnet. I was very aware of this energy and trying to avoid it as was he.

As I lay in bed next to him trying to sleep, he moved closer and grabbed my hand. He held it and the magnetism was indeed very strong. There was a distinct sadness to it along with a strong bond that I cannot describe. I snuggled in closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder. The energy was so strong that I began to struggle to breathe because I was holding my breath and pushing the feeling down.

The man turned toward me all at once and kissed me passionately. I felt as if my midsection would explode and the energy was so intense that it woke me up. I lay there wishing myself back into the dream and hearing my guide say, “Its okay”.

The energy was again stuck in my second chakra but it was not painful. It was exploding outward and I urged it upward. It did move up into my third chakra and then somewhat into my heart chakra but then it stopped. I felt the energy needed somewhere to go but I couldn’t get it to go anywhere. So it just stayed, built up within me.

I eventually laid on my side, hoping it would stop, but it didn’t. I finally pushed it down through my feet and it let up. I was able to go back to sleep after that.

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Toy Store

I awoke in a very sour mood this morning. Not only did I wake up at 6am on my day off (again!) but I awoke with an answer to a question I asked my guides upon sleeping that did not make me happy.

Green Serum and Classroom

The dreams I had last night were part of why I woke up feeling so negative.

Green Serum

In one dream I was with small a group of people. Some I recognized. They were all people associated with my husband. Specifically, his boss, who died last November from double lung failure, was there. The whole dream centered mostly around his boss. He was receiving a treatment for after his death and was being taken to a special place to be rejuvenated. The treatment was in this large container that reminded me of those tubes you put your deposits in at the bank. Inside was this gelatinous florescent green liquid. I could see the large bubbles in it and my focus was on this tube most of the dream.

I went along with the group as my husband’s boss, we will call him Bob, was taken to a facility that specialized in rejuvenation. I watched as the group gathered around him in a circle. He was in the middle holding the cylinder. I remember that his arms was the primary focus at the time. The people appeared very knowledgeable in the process, as if this was their primary, or only, purpose.

After watching this, “Bob” came up to me holding the green cylinder. We spoke but I do not remember what about. The only thing I remember him saying is, “I’m sorry”. I accepted his apology and thought nothing of it. I had no issue with what he had said to me when he was alive (he had called my guide a “Demon”). Note: Later, after I woke and recalled the dream, I got angry at him for not writing a will before his death which caused major issues for my husband at work. Maybe he was also apologizing for this?

The others then approached me and were trying to get me to go to the facility to have the samegreen procedure done. I do not recall feeling resistant but instead they seemed to try to be selling me this opportunity; convincing me to do it. I remember saying, “I don’t care about the wedding”. This is the second dream in two nights where I resisted attending a wedding.

At this time I remember everyone separated into their own little spaces in the room and did their own thing. Bob went with his cylinder and took a shower. I stood watching and not knowing what to do, so I began to cook up a pot of meatball stew. I remember Bob came out and commented on the stew. He loved food when he was alive.

Classroom

The next dream I had was of being in a classroom of very young children. The desks were being rearranged and the teacher was a female who appeared to be in her 20s. I suggested a new position because the desks were too close together. It was then I realized I was fully grown like the teacher but was sitting at a desk with the students!

The teacher told us that while we waited she was going to give us an assignment in advance because we were farther ahead than she anticipated. She said, “You can get a head start”. The assignment was a puzzle and there were phrases we were suppose to match with current movies. There was no list of movies either. I immediately told her, “I don’t know of any movies. I have three kids and don’t get to see movies anymore”. All the while the other kids were easily matching movies with quotes.

I looked up and around the room. The teacher’s desk was not a desk. It was this large, golden colored podium-thing similar to what a council sits behind. I saw no council just this high-standing, ornately embellished golden piece of furniture. It seemed very out of place.

Not Now

Before bed I had asked when I could OBE again and when, if ever, I would have another energetic/Kundalini experience. I also asked what I was suppose to be doing now (again) as I do not feel anything is happening other than the same ol’ same ol’.

My dreams revealed to me that I was to stay in the same pattern I am in for a while longer. How long was not revealed but the feeling I awoke with was that it could be another long stretch. Really the message was clear: “Not now. You are trying to go too fast. You need healing”. Yeah. Okay. More healing. Great. Seems to be a never-ending process of “more healing”. What about more OOB exploring? What about the fun stuff?

I was shown a memory from just the day before. My daughter had wanted a specific toy that my son was playing with. She didn’t want it until he was playing with it. Prior to that she couldn’t care less about the toy. When I told her that she had to wait and suggested she find another toy, she went into one of her agonizing, painful screeching and moaning episodes. You would think she was in the midst of the worse agony ever! “But I want that toy! I don’t want to play with anything else. All the other toys are boring. I don’t like them. They’re no fun. I want that toy!”. No amount of pointing out all her other toys, toys she had previously enjoyed playing with, would change her mind. She went on to say that my son always got what he wanted and she never did. How it was not fair and I didn’t love her, etc. etc.

The memory hit me suddenly and the message was not one I could avoid, especially when my guide said, “Why don’t you look?” This was in reference to the physical. He was basically telling me that I was acting like my daughter. My focus was only on the toy (astral/spiritual) that I wanted to play with and all other toys (possible substitutions in the physical) were “boring”. Considering I had just been whining about how “boring” my life is, that there was nothing exciting about it, I felt very unhappy with my guide at that particular moment. How dare he!

I won’t go into the mental tantrum I put on for a while longer after that (eyeroll).

When I finally calmed down and gave up on trying to get some kind of reprieve from my apparent misery, I was covered in psychic chills. I initially resisted but heard, “Let me” and so relaxed and they intensified. It does instantly calm me down. But I was left with a sad, apathetic feeling. I don’t like that feeling at all. I honestly feel a lot like how I did as a kid when I would be told to go to my room for hours at a time or was grounded for a week and couldn’t go outside to play. What is it that I am suppose to do while I wait?

Toy Store

I must have dozed off after this conversation with my guide. During this time I had a lucid dream or vision, not sure really which it was.

I was in a room full of toys. It appeared to be a toy store actually. The shelves were piled high with toys, all the way to the ceiling, and even the isle behind me was full of toys of every shape and size. They all had a golden glow about them.

I was wandering around, looking at the toys but feeling disinterested in them. I felt someone was watching me and out of the corner of my vision noticed this man, as clear as day, crouched down in the corner of the room watching me. I felt nervous, as if I had been caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing. I decided to ignore him, but something in my mind “woke up” and I thought to myself, I know that man!”

I turned back around and looked at him. He stood up from his crouch and walked toward me. He was taller than I had anticipated and I had a very “Uh-oh I was caught not doing my job” feeling. I also felt like he was my supervisor. I was overcome with a familiar feeling. I have gotten it in life when my supervisor would come into my work area to observe me. I always feel on edge when this happens, like I need to do my best and look like I am doing what I am suppose to even though when my supervisor wasn’t around I would often slack off.

The image of this man was quite clear to me, which surprised me. I also recognized him, which threw me off and increased my awareness. He was tall and fair skinned with medium brown hair that was cut short. He was very ordinary looking but attractive at the same time.

After realizing he was my guide, I said to him, “You are watching me like a supervisor watches his employees”. He said, “Yes”. I came out of my reverie and digested the experience, thinking of all the toys that were around me. He said, “You have so much to choose from”. I felt very ashamed of my behavior then. He said, “What would be interesting to you?” He was asking me to think of what “toys” in the physical I would like to “play” with. I told him I wanted to feel intensity of emotion again. Other than that, I honestly don’t know.

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Working on the Heart

Yesterday was a good day overall but by the time I went to bed I was not feeling very positive about it. I had started to convince myself that everything that had occurred the night before and morning of had been untrue or ego-created. It left me with a deflated feeling and I could not fall asleep.

My guide interrupted my self-pity and said, “None of it has changed”. I told him I thought that the idea of me training to become a guide was ego-influenced. But the feeling I got from him was to stop thinking about it and meditate. So that is what I did for some time. I focused upon my body, starting at my feet and moving up to the top of my head. As I did this, I focused on how my body felt to see if there was something I was missing that my body was trying to tell me. Besides a few stiff joints and tense muscles in my chest and neck, there wasn’t much I got from this exercise. After I finished I rolled over and attempted to fall asleep but this time it was not immediate. I was caught up in thoughts about my work and solutions to a situation I have encountered (not a big one).

My guide once again interrupted my thoughts when I became a bit irritated by my wandering mind and lack of sleep. He said, “Focus upon your blessings”. So I did that and my mood immediately increased. I fell asleep not long after.

I’d Leave it All

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night from a dream I no longer recall. In my head was one phrase from a song called Budapest. The phrase I was singing in my head was “For you, I’d leave it all”.

I lay there singing the phrase over and over in my head for a while until it dawned on me that it was a message from my guide. I immediately knew it was about being a guide and commented to him on it. The phrase was very representative of a guide’s job. They are selfless in their work, compassionate in their nature and patient and loving with their charge. In effect, they “leave it all”, “all” being themselves, behind to do their job.

I again told him I thought that there was no way I was training to be guide. I had none of the characteristics that one would need to be a guide. I was impatient, selfish and quick to frustration and anger. My guide quickly reminded me, “You are not the same when you are here”. The impression was that when we are not in a body that all the flaws we had while in it are expressed to a lesser degree. Some of them are nonexistent when one takes into account the pure love and acceptance that exist on the Other Side. Impatience is tempered with understanding. Selfishness is nonexistent as there is no Ego to contend with. And frustration and anger are felt only as a memory of our human selves.

I have always been told that all guides must keep more of a connection to their human experiences than those who are not. I never asked how this was done. Since hearing that my guide has two other lives in the physical while also being a guide in the spiritual, I am guessing that the way guides maintain connection with their human experiences is because they are currently in a human experience!

I fell back to sleep after recognizing there was more to being a guide than I first thought.

krising1Walking-In

I found myself in an odd dream state. I was in school and I knew I was a student. What grade I was in, I was not sure but it was definitely elementary. I felt very out of sort; not myself at all. I was in a classroom sitting at a desk and looked around at the unfamiliar setting. I remember a boy who sat near me and other odd things that happened in between the recollections of being in the school. Is was like I was popping in and out of a scene and a body.

Every time I found myself in this classroom and in another beingness I was confused. Where was I? Who was I? What am I doing here?

At one point I was eating lunch. I stayed in the classroom because I did not want to be around the other kids. The boy stayed with me. Who was he? Why was he here with me?

I only recall a bit of this lunch experience. I had two drinks, one was a red colored juice. The boy questioned me about it. I told him, “I like having two drinks”.

I then found myself walking through the halls, stopping at the bathroom. I took a good look at myself in the mirror. The image was very vividly clear and unfamiliar. The girl was not me! She had long, wavy, dark blonde hair that went to her waist. Her face was round and she had large, sad eyes. She was quite stunningly pretty. Then, I looked at her body and saw she was wearing a sleeveless, light colored dress. Her arms were much too big, though and the rest of her was well. I remember being taken aback by how fat she/I was.

I looked again at the girl’s face to take my mind off of her fat. I was hit so suddenly with a repulsion of the way her body looked and felt ashamed for thinking it. I thought instead about how pretty her face was but could not help but think what a shame it was that her face was not pretty enough to distract from her obesity.

The dream continued on for some time after that. There was an encounter with a couple of dark skinned kids. The girl was very interested in getting this me to be her friend but there was something sinister about her that repelled me. She asked a lot of questions and requested that I be her partner for a class assignment. I sought out the boy instead, distrusting the girl. She seemed to want to do bad things and wanted me to help her do them. I was the quiet, shy, smart girl. Why would she want to be my friend? The whole situation felt very off.

I awoke from the dream not sure what to make of it. As I went over the image I saw in the mirror I realized this girl was me. Maybe a past me or a current me that I am unaware of. The rejection and sadness that hit me from focusing upon her memory was surprising to me. The fear of rejection strong and the disgust at her fatness even more so.

Working on the Heart

Later in the morning I recalled something my guide had said to me that I had forgotten. He reminded me that our work was not done and I instantly knew that I would be focusing on clearing my heart. This was prior to me going to bed and so now I am certain this dream, this “walk-in” as it would seem, was to help me recognize where certain aspects of my current personality come from. The most intense emotion came with the thought of being rejected. There was also intense fear of being fat. Interestingly, I have worked hard in this life to maintain a healthy, thin physique, sometimes to extremes. There was a feeling of unease around the girl and an overall distrust of her. In this life, I distrust people when I first meet them and it takes a very long time for me to fully trust a person. I actually don’t know if I really have ever fully trusted anyone. I always seem to be waiting for them to hurt me.

At first the dream had me thinking I must have regressed from “teacher” back to “student” but the feeling of the dream says this is not so. I was completely confused each time I found myself in the body of the girl as if I had been suddenly taken out of somewhere else. The whole experience/dream was very weird. The only thing I know for sure is that this dream initiated a strong emotional response from me. I felt the emotion build up in my chest as I recalled the image of the young girl, her sad eyes and overweight body. She was so beautiful! Yet life for her was misery because she was trapped in a fat body. So unfair!

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Detroit

I had another interesting Kundalini experience last night. At least I think that is what it was.

I meditated prior to going to bed. This time I did not immediately fall asleep which surprised me. I did not do any self-healing or any specific meditation exercise. I have not felt the need to do such in quite some time. I did, however, focus upon my third-eye by rolling my eyes slightly up and back. I let my mind go as blank as possible, allowing thoughts to come in and then pass through without focusing on them. I also focused upon how my body felt, seeking out any tense spots or areas that hurt or felt off in some way.

I felt the normal sensations that have been coming to me when I do this. Specifically, my nose and the areas on either side light up with energy. One night my nose felt like it was going to fly off my face! Last night, though, the energy was more pronounced on the left side than the right. As usual it felt like a mask of energy over the front of my face.

I also felt my entire lower right leg below the knee covered in a sheet-like energy. It felt like my leg was wrapped in a large, soft sock. I was intrigued by this since that spot I mentioned in my last post is on that leg. I took a seaweed bath to try and suck toxins out of my body and wonder if that had anything to do with it.

At some point, I think when I had reached a point of “no thought” and just being because I do not recall thinking or dreaming or anything, I was startled awake by a strange and unfamiliar energy. It hit me suddenly and from the right, pouring through my entire body. I startled because I felt like I was about to be swept out of my body and upward because the energy hit with such intensity that I felt a slight falling and then lifting sensation. It made my body feel very, very heavy and dense and my entire head felt as if it were going to explode the pressure was so intense. Both of my ears filled with huge amounts of pressure and I could not hear anything but this muffled sound of air and my own heart beat. The sensation in my ears was exactly like what I have experienced when taking off in an airplane but I was laying in my own bed!

As I sat there in what I can only describe as a “bubble” of energy my guide whispered, “Do not be afraid. You are okay”. Interestingly, I wasn’t afraid at all, just curious and wondering what would happen next. Would I suddenly pop out of my body? Would I begin to hear voices or strange noises?

The odd pressurized sensation began to lessen in my right ear. At the same time it intensified in my left. I heard a slight ringing but nothing major. A minute or so later the pressure moved to my right ear and was relieved in my left. Then it repeated – left, right, left, right.

I know I must have tensed my body quite a bit from the sudden energy inflow because my guide reminded me to relax. So, I began to focus on my body and then noticed the heavy, dense energy was not on my lower body, below my hips, at all. I knew then that I needed to move the energy and so, with a quick thought and mental imagery, pushed the energy down and out my feet. When I did this, the dense energy moved very easily down my legs and the pressure in my ears normalized. I also moved my hands which had begun to feel like dead weights and when I did this the heaviness began to dissipate.

Detroit

I fell asleep quite quickly after that. I had once again asked my guide for more clarity on the message I received the day before. What exactly was I suppose to be doing here on Earth?

I found myself driving along snow-covered roads in an older, residential neighborhood. For some reason I knew where I was: Detroit, Michigan. I was heading to my new job and was looking for a specific address. On my way, I passed up the house accidentally and when I attempted to turn around I fishtailed out of control. When my car came to a stop a group of bystanders began to crowd around the car. I looked up as one approached. He was a tall, fairly young, African American man wearing familiar gang attire. I immediately became suspicious but not afraid. One of his buddies was behind him smiling a wicked looking smile. The man told me I should not be out alone at night in these parts. I told him I knew that. The man’s buddy then got out a knife and I knew that I needed to get out of there.

Somehow I closed the door and sped off. I felt they were pursuing me so I went very fast down the streets and then took the wrong turn on purpose. When I came close to my destination, I turned off my headlights and then slowly parked the car. A man was on the streets and I yelled to him to keep an eye out for the men.

I walked up to the door of the residence and knocked because I could not get in. I did not have a key. I heard a response but when I pushed on the door it opened.

Inside I was met by a nice, older woman dressed in very professional attire. She led me into a room where I sat down. Other individuals came in one by one. I only recall now the man who sat on my left and the woman who sat on my right. The man on my left was blonde and had an odd energy about it. I did not want to touch him because I knew he was interested in me in a sexual or romantic way. He rubbed his foot against mine and kept trying to have a conversation with me. He had an odd smell or something about him. I just didn’t want anything to do with him.

A tall, dark haired woman dressed in a suit and high heels walked up in front of the group and welcomed us. I listened, mesmerized. This was my new job and I needed to pay close attention. The man next to me kept bothering me throughout and I struggled to hear everything that was being said. I do remember discussing EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and other healing modalities. I was the oldest of a group of five people who would be working at this place. I don’t know what kind of place it was exactly but it seemed to be a school but all I heard was “charter”. I remember feeling a bit apprehensive about getting along with my group but not about the job itself.

Another thing that was very distinct here was that we were in Detroit. It kept being brought up and I remember wondering why I was so far north. I have been there only once and I didn’t like the place. It felt tainted by negative energy. I think that may be what it symbolized in this dream, too, because when I woke up I immediately told my guide, “I don’t want to work with those kinds of people”. In my mind I was recalling the students I use to work with. I worked with them for 8 years. They were either adjudicated, on probation or just completely wild and unwilling to follow the rules.

Kundalini_truthinsideofyouFurther Considerations

Now that I am considering my dream, I wonder if it was the answer to the question I asked prior to going to sleep. I did not specify this time that the answer not come in the form of a dream. I wish I had now. When I awoke from this dream it was the first time all night and I could not go back to sleep. I kept feeling urged to get out of bed, too. All I could think of was Detroit. Detroit? Why? And the people I was with, especially the blonde man, were familiar. Was he one of my guides? Why was he coming onto me? And why were they all so much younger than me? The man was 26 (not sure how I know this) and the woman was still in her 20s also. The entire dream/experience was similar to an OBE in that I had full awareness of what was going on while in the dream. I knew why I was there. I was starting a new job and this was my orientation. I knew the people, though I cannot remember their names now. I knew the location.

And the part that does not escape my notice is that I was arriving to be a teacher or something similar. I was not a student. This was my new JOB. And I cannot help but think of what my guide said to me yesterday (which I almost forgot until now). He said, “You need a purpose. You will have it soon”.

Sometimes I think all of this is just too surreal. I still catch myself thinking this whole experience is just beyond real and has to be a dream. I am reminded of the Bible and Moses when God spoke to him, giving him instruction on what to do. Is what I am experiencing like that? Was Moses talking to God? Or was he talking to his Higher Self or a guide? And I am not trying to say I am the next Moses. LOL I am just thinking out loud.

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New Shoes

Last night I slept much better than I have in quite a while mainly because I only woke up one time during the night rather than the three to five times that has been the norm for me. Interestingly enough I also recall a very vivid dream I had. I have not been having good dream recall at all.

Backpack and New Shoes

The first dream I recall started out in a shopping mall. I was with a woman friend but I don’t recall seeing her once in the dream, just hearing her. Someone showed me a backpack. It was unique in that it had ties for straps and they were see through and shimmery pink. I instantly thought of my daughter and wanted to see more so the woman showed me others. They were all very unique and different. Some in different shapes with varying straps and colors. I wanted to buy one.

I was taken into a shop and shown the racks of backpacks. I saw the price tag on one I liked. $150!! I was in shock. That was way too much in my opinion. I remarked such to the woman who said, “Everything in the store is 20% off”. I looked at the price tag of another bag and sure enough there was a red sale tag with $109 on it. I was still upset and said, “You just hiked up the prices!” I insinuated that they were price gouging and the woman said, “Everyone gets 30% off if they buy something today”. I was not interested.

I went to the other side of the store and browsed some clothes and shoes. A woman approached me with a pair of size 5.5 shoes. She asked, “Do you wear size 5.5?” I said, “I think they will fit me”. I sat down and she slipped a pair of flowered, feminine dress shoes on me. They were white with flowers on them. They fit me perfectly and I even showed her how I could lift my heel up easily. I was surprised because I do not wear such a small size. I then looked in the mirror and saw the shoes did not match my dress. I was wearing a nice, somewhat girlie white, flowered dress with a skirt that flared out and came to just below my knees. I told her, “I will need a pair of solid colored brown shoes for this dress”. I kept the shoes I had on, though.

girlyInterpretation

The fact that I am shopping in this dream indicates that I am considering my options in life. Backpacks also symbolize decisions but specifically ones that one feels weighed down by. They can also represent responsibilities that feel heavy or like a burden. When I am put off by the price of the backpack it likely symbolizes my own consideration that some option is too costly.

In general, shoes represent one’s approach to life. These shoes seem to indicate that I am open to a new approach, perhaps a more feminine one since the shoes are so petite and flowery. I am also wearing a dress which is feminine and flowery. I do not like to wear dresses in real life.

Library

In the next dream I went into a library to get a book. I was driving a very small car with only two seats. I believe it was red. I dropped it off inside the library waiting area and went to get a book. When I came out ready to leave, my car was gone. I worried over it and remember thinking that the car was not due to be returned yet, I had until the 21st. I paced for a while, worrying how I would get home. I called up my husband’s boss for a ride and she laughed and told me to just ask the front desk for my car back. I did and got the car back right away. Happy to get my car, I went to the restroom.

The restroom was off near the edge of the waiting room (which looked like a car showroom). The walls were gray and when I went into the space there were two people sitting behind a counter with a glass front staring at me like I did not belong there. When I went into the bathroom I saw in front of me black, metal cabinets containing row upon row of drawers that looked like they held video tapes or some similar kind of media. I felt out of place but spotted the toilet and did my business and left in a hurry.

I retrieved my car and left the library.

In Space

The next thing I remember is being with a group of fellow astral travelers. I recognized them and called them by name and there were a couple of names I remember even now. We were floating together in outer space just above the Earth. I was facing them with the Earth behind me. I can still see the glowing, multicolored globe of Earth shining behind me. It was huge and spectacular!

What is odd is that I was wearing some kind of breathing apparatus on my face. It was white and shaped like an oxygen mask and covered my nose and mouth.  It had a rubbery feeling to it which is still very real to me. Attached to the mask was this white tube that went down and disappeared below me. I don’t know what it was attached to but it seemed to flow and move about with me as I moved.

My fellow astral travelers and I were discussing something. I don’t know everything that we said, but they seemed to be trying to teach me something. While we were talking, a song was going through my mind. It was Riptide by Vance Joy, the part where he says, “I just wanna, I just wanna know. If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay”.

I recall that my mask fell off while I was talking to them and I became worried that I would suffocate. I began to frantically try to grasp for my mask in desperation. I watched as the white mask floated down below me. What is weird is that just the mask fell, the white tube seemed to stay.

The man in front said to me, “You can breathe. We are dreaming remember?” I heard him say this and nodded, relieved because I knew we were all OOB and would be okay. A part of me then recognized the white tube was a part of me. I am surprised that this did not cause me to awaken within my dream. Instead, it just woke me up.

Interpretation and Considerations

The library in my first dream represents the search for knowledge. I am likely looking for answers. Cars represent life stages or paths. In this case, my car is parked so I am thinking of putting my attention somewhere else. The fact that the car is then taken from me, or checked back into the library, indicates that a part of my identity is being let go of. Since I want the car back, it could be that I am changing my mind about a decision I made.

The bathroom represents feelings or burdens that need to be relieved or released. The fact that I saw cabinets suggests that I have much hidden within me that needs relieving.

Overall I feel this dream is about me deciding whether or not I want to invest more time and energy into my life. That is the feeling that comes with it and follows into the next dream where I am in space. The overall message is that I need to decide if I want to stay in this life or leave it. The song is a direct question put forth to me. I believe the white tube is symbolic of the silver cord that connects the astral body to the physical body. The oxygen mask suggests that I am feeling stifled and unable to handle the burdens of life, in effect suffocating and unable to express my feelings or find relief.

These dreams go along well with the feelings I have been having lately.

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Quick Update

Yesterday was the 21st. In case you don’t recall, I had a very vivid and emotional dream on the 3rd of January that my mother died of a sudden heart attack. I was given the 21st as the date and assumed it was of this month. I told my mom because I knew she wouldn’t overreact and then called her yesterday to make sure all was well. She was fine. 🙂 She did, however, spend the beginning of the week with her lawyer editing her will and making sure that IF something were to happen, everything would be in order. So, if the reason for my dream was to get my mother to sort out all her things, then it worked!

I hate to think the 21st is of some other month. That day will be at the back of my mind until we reach July, which is the month I was told in the dream. I suspect that the dream was just to help my Mom take action but I can’t help but worry that it may mean otherwise. It was just too vivid and emotional of a dream to not notice.

Symptom Update

I don’t have much to report in the way of spiritual experiences and kundalini/ascension symptoms. It seems that the quiet period I have been in continues despite my asking for at least some kind of recreational OBE, lucid dream or other spiritual phenomenon.

Current symptoms that I have or have noticed periodically include:

  • Feeling very balanced and/or calm for long periods of time
  • Headache
  • Tiredness/deep sleep
  • Frequent waking during the night
  • Tingling in root chakra
  • Buzzing in root and third eye chakra
  • Painful electrical sensation in lower body/legs (one night only)
  • Lower back pain (mostly upon waking)
  • Numbness/tingling in hands that wakes me up
  • Connecting psychically/spiritually to people without intention
  • Temperature fluctuations during sleep

Sleep Patterns

The most pronounced change I have experience has been in my sleep patterns. I seem to have good energy during the day but as soon as I get into bed my eyes get heavy and I yawn as if exhausted. I have been meditating before bed and every time I do I fall asleep very quickly – as soon as I start to meditate! Then I wake up suddenly three to five times during the night. I usually feel overly hot or cold when I wake and then I have to use the restroom. I always think I won’t be able to return to sleep because I wake up very rested and alert, but then I always fall instantly back to sleep.

Dreams

My dreams are also very vivid and frequent. Some I remember, some I do not, but when they are occurring I am very engrossed in them and feel their impact upon waking. I had one recently where I was buying a new house with my husband and we found a forgotten part of it in the back that wash huge and in disarray. I was very into this dream and had much excitement about the prospect of renovating the new found space. It was odd because one room was full of small refrigerators and I was going to get rid of them! Then last night I dreamed our refrigerator was damaged. So interesting that I keep dreaming of fridges. The symbolism is not lost to me either since refrigerators represent one’s tendency to be emotionally cold or distant. In both dreams there was something wrong with the refrigerators which causes me to suspect I am working on eliminating the cold aspects of my personality.

Spiritual Guides

There has also been a shift change when it comes to my guides. I say shift change because it feels like they work with me in shifts similar to what nurses do in hospitals. The most recent guide I have met calls himself “George” and showed me a visual of himself that was quite detailed. He had very orange-red hair and medium colored skin with freckles, not the pale skin one would expect of a red head. What was strange, though, was that his eyes were so pale blue they almost appeared to be glowing white. He told me he was helping me as a healing guide and was the one who told me about my chakras all being reset. His voice is very quiet compared to the other guides I have had speak to me, almost airy sounding. He also told me his time with me would be very brief. For all I know he is already gone and a new guide will soon introduce him/herself.

I find it curious just how many guides have been around me since December. I am use to my typical team of 4 but I have run into quite a few more than that in my dreams, astral travels and visions. I do not recall ever having so many previously unknown (to me consciously at least) guides and I wonder if this happens with everyone whose energy is transitioning.

Future Plans

I have been told that the chakra reset that I just went through will result in some changes. I was not told specifically what they would be except to expect more kundalini energy fluctuations. I suspect the painful electrical sensation in my legs was the first of this type of energy. The energy modifications appear to be moving from my feet up, but it is hard to tell because right now I sleep very deeply through most of it. Perhaps I should thank my guides for this deep sleep if it is keeping me from feeling pain. I really prefer to sleep through the painful parts!

I do not know for sure how long this lull is going to last, but I prefer the deep sleep to having insomnia. The one night I had trouble sleeping reminded me of the two years of insomnia I suffered through and I hate to think I will ever have to experience that again. I was told that the end of this month would be the beginning of more kundalini energy changes, so I am awaiting them a bit apprehensively. Since it is so hard to know what is going to happen next – there seems to be no set patterns or sequence to kundalini – I will just pray that the experiences are positive. I would love me some more popcorn clouds and hynagogic imagery!

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Transference

I couldn’t sleep last night. After all the nights of deep, restful sleep, last night it was near impossible for me to sleep well. I didn’t fall asleep until around midnight and then when I would sleep I was haunted by uncomfortable dreams all of which included my mom, sister and her husband.

Monkey Attack

The first dream I had was the most unsettling. In the dream I was at my mother’s house visiting and my sister and her husband were there. My cousin (sister’s husband) was throwing one of his tantrums. He likes to pout and gets this really negative energy that hangs around him like a shroud. No amount of communication can get through to him. My mom and sister were both trying to get through to him and he had resorted to yelling. I got involved a little but I actually taunted him more than I helped the situation. I do remember his main complaint was with his in-laws (my mom and her new husband) and I had responded to this by saying I had a great relationship with my ex-in-laws. He didn’t like hearing this.

Both my sister and cousin went into separate rooms. My cousin went to bed in one room and my sister got on the computer in the other. I was going to go in her room to get my things when I realized I did not have my contact lens case or my stuff to stay overnight. I spoke to my mom’s husband about it, saying I did not want to drive all the way home to get those things and would prefer to stay the night.

He joined my mom in bed while I got ready to sleep on the sofa. It was then that I heard a pounding, putter-putter, sound coming from the window. When I looked up I saw a large black and white tomcat trying to get in through the window. I yelled to my mom about it but she stayed in bed. I then saw it go to her bedroom window and try to get in as well.

The cat returned to the kitchen window where I first saw it and had in its paws a small nail file which it was using to try and cut through the screen. I yelled to my mom, “Mom the cat is trying to get in still!”. No reply from her.

The cat was able to get in somehow and so I went to get it to put it back outside. When I did it turned into a large, black monkey with a squished-in face and beady eyes. It lurched at me and grabbed onto my right hand biting down hard. I could feel the pain in the center of my hand and yelled to my sister to get a banana to try and lure it away. The monkey looked at me fiercely, intent on attack and I knew it would go after me if I tried anything. I stared at it, fear hitting me as I realized the pain was not going away and neither was the monkey. The skin on my legs began to raise up in gooseflesh and it felt like a thousands needles pushing into my skin. It hurt pretty bad and I could still feel the monkey’s teeth in my right hand.

Transference

I awoke and the pain was real. My hand was not hurting as bad as my entire lower body which was covered in painful goosebumps. I have never felt such a sensation! It literally felt like each hair that was standing on end was a needle poking into my skin. I rubbed my hand, hoping movement would stop the pain but it did not. My hand gradually began to feel better but the skin sensation would not stop. I thought to my guide, “Is this what you mean by discomfort???” I got no reply.

Eventually the prickly pain subsided and I tossed and turned for a while. I began to doze off but kept wondering about the dream and the weird pain that came with it. My guide was near and I felt him wrap me in his energy and when he did my legs got the same prickling pain in them as they did in and after the dream except this time the pain was from my shins down through my feet. As it intensified the pain began to slowly move down my legs and out of my feet until it was gone.

Afterward I kept getting really, really hot to where I had to throw the covers off of me. Then, after a while, I would get cold and have to snuggle up. This kept me from falling asleep.

catMore Dreams

I somehow fell back to sleep only to continue dreaming about my family. In every dream my sister and her husband were having a disagreement. He was sulking or verbally lashing out and she was quiet and distant. My mom was always nearby either listening in or keeping her distance while staying nearby for support.

The most memorable dream of this sort was of us traveling together in a white Prius. I was driving and we stopped somewhere for a while. I went inside and they stayed in the car. I was late returning and they were all grumpy. My mother, who usually is set against what my cousin wants because of his behavior, was actually supporting my cousin. This upset me and I decided to leave them behind in the car. Ultimately, though, they just all pretended to sleep and I drove everyone home.

The symbolism in my dreams along with the subjects involved causes me to believe that there is an issue that is on-going that may be coming to a head soon. My mother and I spoke about the possibility of such an issue during my last visit so I would not be surprised if something is going on that I will soon hear about.

The monkey attack is curious as is the pain transference from dream to reality. I have never had pain come back with me from a dream. As for the monkey, according to http://www.dreammoods.com, to dream you are attacked by a monkey indicates a conflict between one’s playful and serious sides or that one is unable to keep their animalistic desires under control.

Cats have been common in my dreams for some time. I am still not 100% sure what the cat represents as it has so many meanings within a dream. Since I do not like cats much I assume it means I am avoiding my feminine side in some way but it could also mean misfortune. The black and white could be symbolic of yin and yang and this pattern is often associated with the cats I see in my dreams. It is interesting that the cat turns into the monkey as well. Perhaps my denial of my feminine side is going to get out of control?

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Reset

The energy was different last night. It felt like it was building up from the day before as I had been anxious most of the day for not reason. It did not feel as if I would have anything interesting occur in the night but when I thought about what it might mean I heard a song in my head: It is Well With My Soul. I began singing it aloud and started to cry because I was hit with such a feeling of love and support along with so many wonderful memories of growing up singing gospel songs with my family, especially memories of my grandparents.

I fell into such a deep sleep that when I was awakened sometime in the night I could not remember my dream, though I knew it had been an important one by the way I felt. I tried and tried to remember it, but it seemed I was too tired because the more I tried to remember, the more tired I became.

Virus

I soon found myself in a very intense dream. It was intense because I felt the energy in it moving me along. The energy was especially intense in my mid-section.

I entered a school in the dream and went into a classroom where I was met by a man who I did not recognized. He was tall and thin with a short cut beard and mustache and was wearing old fashioned clothing like from the 1800s. I don’t remember what we spoke about but I do recall he was trying to get me to kiss him. I was concerned someone would see us and pointed out the camera in the room. Eventually, though, I gave in and allowed him to kiss me. I felt nothing from the kiss and left the room soon after.

I realized not long afterwards that I was working at a school either as a teacher or a teacher of teachers (most likely the latter). I mingled with some of the teachers and then opened up my laptop to retrieve my presentation. When I logged in the computer seemed not to be mine and was filled with pornography video titles and films. I tried to get the computer to turn off but it wouldn’t and I finally had to unplug it. I was extremely embarrassed that my coworkers saw this and explained that the images were not mine.

I then opened up my phone to try and access the document I had not been able to access on my computer and found my phone had also been taken over. My list of contacts was gone and the screen was black except for a list of videos with sexual names that took the place of my contacts. I recall one video began to play and it had a name like Hot Penis’ and Juicy Cunts. I was horrified!

By this time the teachers had moved to the other side of the room and I began to calm down a bit. The images flashing on my phone would not stop and eventually I became curious about them. I watched an image of two men who were obviously about to get sexual and then shut my eyes. I then opened them from curiosity but willed myself to focus on trying to contact support.

I managed to contact someone via chat and he gave me a list of computer virus’. I knew I had the first virus on the list and asked him what I could do about it. He told me, “Nothing. It is a lost cause. All you can do is wipe the hard drive”. I was in denial so decided to try to reset my phone hoping it would at least give me access there.

merry-go-roundShort OBE

I was awakened suddenly by the screams of my baby. I got up and tended to him. It was 5:30am and he wanted solid food so I gave him some rice cereal. He began to doze off while eating so I put him back to bed but my husband yelled at me and it got me upset. It went back to bed but it took me a while to sleep because I was irritated.

I soon found myself in a house. My vision was shifty and mostly in black and white. I was waiting for my children to be dropped off by the bus but somehow knew the buses were all out of commission for a while and so the kids would be coming via carnival rides. I watched as a merry-go-round came by my house. It was on tracks and appeared to be in a line with other rides and set up like a train.

My two older children got off the train and a nice man came in with my baby boy in his arms. He was similar to the man I had just seen in my previous dream and was smiling and cheerful. He said something to me about it being cold and that he was sorry about the open air transportation my children had to use. With that, he bundled up my baby real tight. Then, when he saw how tired and depressed I was he told me, “You know registration is open for the early childhood school?” I hung my head and said, “Yes but we don’t qualify for that”. He nodded his understanding. I continued, “We make too much money”. I was filled with upset about how the only way I could get decently priced childcare in this country was to be miserably poor. The man’s face showed that he completely understood my predicament.

He left me with my children and I sat at a table all by myself moping and staring out into the darkness of the room in front of me. I looked at the table and began to organize it. As I did, I noted how vivid the objects were and I said to myself, “I am dreaming”. It was then that I began to see the room more clearly, but it was still in grays and browns and very dim.

I got up and wondered where the man had gone to. I also remembered my previous dream and felt I should see if I could initiate astral sex with the man since it seemed obvious to me that I needed to. Within moments I changed my mind about that since the man was nowhere and no one was materializing. I also knew I was in the etheric as my energy was low and I felt weighed down. It didn’t help that my mood was very low as well.

I went toward the door intent on getting outside the house. I remember thinking as I opened the door, “It will be light”. But when I opened the door it was dark and I could tell it was an unfamiliar neighborhood. It appeared to be a very hilly subdivision composed of high end houses with very large, paved driveways. I could see ten or so of them in front of me. I hesitated, thinking to myself that it was no use to try and astral as I felt so beaten down and tired. My mood was definitely difficult for me to overcome and I struggled to make a decision.

I finally decided I would go out, not knowing what I would do out there. When I tried to step through I felt something heavy against my lower leg and foot. It felt like a pillow and I kicked at it, but it would not move. This challenge caused me to fight against the pillow, now intent to get out. It was as if my increase in motivation was against me because I instantly went back to my body.

Hypnagogic Images and Messages

When I came back into my body I felt heavy with sleep, so tired I could barely move and didn’t want to anyway. I knew I had been OOB but did not care, my mood remained low as if I had been beaten down. I was on my back and stayed there but felt stiff so had to move to compensate. Within moments of laying still I began to see shapes forming in front of my eyes, geometric patterns in black and white – no color. At first I wanted to watch them but then thought better of it and ignored them. The images continued in the background of my vision for some time, expanding and contracting but never in vivid color.

I stayed in the in-between state for some time. Often I would find myself near exit and would change my mind. “What is the point? I’m not going to be allowed to go anywhere anyway”, I thought to myself. One time I found myself doing yoga and caught myself in the midst of going OOB and stopped it. Another time I was kicking as if trying to jump out of my body. It appeared I was intent on going OOB but then I would wake in the midst of it with negative thoughts and stop it.

At one point the exit opportunities stopped and I began to receive messages. This came from a guide who I am not familiar with. His voice was different than the main guide I speak with. He said to me, “Listen to your body”. I was caught off guard by this and immediately woke up and changed positions. I wondered what he meant briefly but then didn’t care.

Then I was again caught off guard by this guide who put in my head the most vivid picture of smiling teeth. There was a very ugly man behind the teeth but it was very obvious to me that I was meant to focus upon the teeth. I again heard, “Listen to your body”.

More awake, I began to wonder what he was going on about and why he was bothering me. I then got a visual of a body and the chakras were lit up all along the body. One by one each of the chakras lights began to go out and turn dark. Then I heard, “We are closing them”. I knew he meant my chakras. I then heard again, “Listen to your body”.

By this point I could not go back to sleep as I was a bit worried about what I had been shown and told. Was I going to have trouble with my teeth? Or was that just a sign of me being stubborn? And then why would they be closing all my chakras?

I heard a quick reply to my last thought, “To reset you”.

Of course, that makes no sense to me either but okay, whatever. I will pay attention to my body. So far I just feel very tired. I wonder, though, if I will be feeling physical symptoms of some illness or if it is related to something spiritual? As usual it is likely I will just have to play this by ear.

Dream Considerations

I can’t seem to get my dream out of my mind, especially after the message to listen to my body.

To get a computer virus in a dream suggests that something in one’s life has gotten very out of control. Pornography watching in a dream suggests one has issues with intimacy, power, control and effectiveness. I had forgotten up until now my conversation with my guide involving this dream. After he told me to listen to my body the first time I immediately thought of the dream and said, “My body wants me to have sex?” To which he replied, “Yes”. This is absurd to me. My body doesn’t want anything. It is a body! So I said back to him, “Too bad. I don’t want it”.

I am wondering if this is more symbolic, related to my transformation and energy. I can’t help but think about how my guide told me in the dream that there was nothing I could do besides wipe the hard drive on my computer or reset my phone. Then he told me my chakras were all being closed. Am I being “wiped”? Why?

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This House is Haunted

After yesterday’s morning upset and some talk with friend online, I was reassured that this stage in my spiritual transformation is not uncommon and will pass as all stages and transitions do. Right now I need to focus on my life, the people I love and the purpose I came here to fulfill. The spiritual me and the physical me must stay in balance.

A friend of mine who is a veteran of the kundalini and the ascension process reminded me that we are both student and teacher in life, as we are also both spiritual and physical. She said to me:

The same must happen with Spiritual and physical– the two must become one, IN you. There is not two. There is, as the Vedantins say “One without a second”. As you ALREADY know, the Spiritual is being everything we perceive as physical. The idea, for me, and I suspect for us all is to let go the divide. To let what is happening with you (/me/us) in the dimensions happen right here in *this* dimension. To be the avenue, as it were, for the Spiritual to reach the ground level Earth-life.

It is becoming more and more clear to me that this physical experience I am choosing to participate in has so very much to do with the spiritual; that the two are one in the same. I don’t know exactly when this happened – maybe yesterday or last night or perhaps it has been on-going – but I am seeing things a little different every day. It is mostly occurring at night I believe, as last night I had yet again more interesting revelations.

They Don’t See Me

I had a very intense dream last night. In it, I was a waitress working at a restaurant and feeling very out of my element. I did a lot of cleaning and typical duties of a waitress. While cleaning I recalled seeing the door hinges were messed up. Whenever one would close the door the hinges would come loose. When I inspected them I found there were no hinges at all, just small nails. I had to reposition the nails every time but did it as that was my job. I remember also feeling unappreciated in my work and considered quitting, knowing I deserved better, but I stayed on anyway.

I became aware that the restaurant changed owners and was listening as the owner discussed physical layout changes with another waitress. I offered the help of my husband who I explained could do renovations, thinking he could fix the faulty doors. The owner nodded to me in recognition of what I said but then continued to talk to the other waitress about the changes as if he had not heard me. I again interjected saying that my husband could do it for much less than a contractor. This time the owner completely ignored me. I began to feel overwhelmed with emotion at this second rebuttal. I began thinking, “They don’t even see me. They don’t see me”. Then I started sobbing uncontrollably.

This House is Haunted

I awoke to real tears and my heart chakra pulling but not too badly. I soothed myself instantly without the aid of my guides. It was then that I heard a familiar song in my head: Dearly Departed by Shakey Graves. Being this was the third morning I awoke to this song, I took notice and instantly recognized the message.

The specific part of the song that I hear is, “You and I both know that the house is haunted. You and I both know that the ghost is of me”. Symbolically, a haunted house represents unfinished emotional business usually related to childhood, family members present and passed, or repressed memories and/or emotions. The fact that the house is haunted specifically relates to running from these things rather than confronting them resulting in a personal “haunting”. If these things are not dealt with then they can harass you much like a ghost harasses the residents of the house they haunt.

Doctor

I managed to fall back asleep quickly and fell into another dream. In this one I was at a university but I was a teacher with my own room. I don’t recall all of the details of the dream but I was helping some doctoral students with something and allowed two of them along with their professor to use my room to complete some business that needed tending to after hours. I remember watching as the professor wrote out checks and kept track of them on a ledger. I noticed that as each check was written it showed up as a debit in my personal checking account. This alarmed me and I told the professor about it as he left. Part of me did not want to pay for another person’s debts but another part did not care and was willing to let it slide.

The professor had gone and I had resigned myself to a loss in money when he returned and told me he would repay me. I then left with a young woman. We got into a push cart. It looked like something from out of the middle ages. As we lay in the cart I began to slip off and the woman got upset with me. I remember feeling like I had insulted her in some way. It was then that the professor, who I knew as “Doctor”, stopped the cart. That is when I awoke.

This is the second time that a doctor has been in my dreams. The first time was an OBE where a man I met actually told me he was a doctor. I do not need to be told anymore directly that there is a message here.

To see or go to a doctor in a dream suggests that spiritual and emotional healing is needed. It could also indicate physical issues and the need to go to a real life doctor.

Physical Issues

Aside from the myriad of emotional issues I carry with me, which I will not go into now, I have been having some minor physical issues lately. I have also been led to research some things regarding these issues and have my theories about what might be happening.

I will not/cannot assume these are all ascension symptoms, especially now that I am taking a break from the spiritual changes I was going through. Here are the issues I have at present:

  1. Vision changes, especially my left eye. I wear contacts and this week my vision has suffered. I believe it is a change in the shape of my eye rather than an increase in my prescription because I see fine out of my glasses. I plan to make an appointment with an eye doctor to remedy this but delay because I still have five pairs of contact lenses left from my old prescription.
  2. Severely dry skin. This has been slowly getting worse and worse. Recently I got a patch of eczema on my arm and that was when I began to research it. I bought some organic seaweed bath called Aalgo that I found while doing a Google search. Thankfully it has been working like a charm and within two treatments eradicated the small spot of eczema I had. I used it on my face, which has also been extremely dry, flaky, and acne prone. I have noticed marked improvement there as well. I highly recommend Aalgo to anyone suffering from skin issues.
  3. Achy legs and increase in spider veins. I have long dealt with bad circulation and gross spider veins. They have never been an issue other than making me hate to show my legs and really they are not that noticeable. But lately my legs have been aching in the morning and my right leg is looking much worse. I am considering going to a vein specialist to have them treated but upon comparing my legs to those who have gotten treatment I recognized I am overreacting. I did start taking niacin because it was recommended to help with circulation. It has been helping.
  4. Cold hands and feet. I have always had cold hands and feet. My lips will even turn purple sometimes! This has been throughout my entire life but has been much more prominent lately. A coworker years ago suggested I may have Raynaud’s but I am not sure about that and if I do then there is not much I can do about it. My mom has the same symptoms and so I assume it is hereditary. The cold feet are the worst and keep me from sleeping.
  5. Numbness in legs and hands. This only happens when I sleep. It wakes me up and I have to move my hand and/or leg to fix it so I can go back to sleep. I am not sleeping oddly or anything, they are just numb and tingly. I am usually sleeping on my back when my hands are tingly and it is normally my left hand. I am sleeping on my side when I have tingling/numbness in my legs. Usually it is only one leg and the one I am sleeping on. I would not think it a big deal except that is has been on-going for several months now.

I know I should just schedule a physical and get checked out. I was suppose to have my thyroid checked when I was pregnant because I was sweating profusely for no reason. I never had it done. I suspect it may be the problem now but then again none of the symptoms really match up to hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. It was mentioned to me that this break to focus upon the physical could be to get me to focus more on a healthy lifestyle. Now with this doctor theme in my dreams I am beginning to think it very well could be.