Dream: Snow in the Summer

Some dream experiences to share.

False Awakening

I woke at 5am to a noise. I went to explore what it was and saw my husband up working on our downstairs bathroom remodel which we started over the weekend. Relieved, I returned to bed.

The next thing I remember is hearing the show Good Morning America playing loudly. It was the start of the show where they were giving the date and time. All I can recall was that they said it was close to 9am. My thoughts were on the time it had been when I got back into bed. Surely it was not already 9!

I got out of bed feeling very drowsy, stood near the end of the bed and looked back at the  clock on the nightstand. It did not say 9am. It was closer to 5:30.

Now unconcerned about the time, I went over to the window to look outside. To my surprise, the window was covered in black worms with rounded heads that resembled those of a beetle. Fascinated, I watched them crawling around on the glass. They appeared to be mating but rather than connect via the abdomen they were connecting at the head. I spoke to the worm things and then to myself. I remember asking my physical body why it was not working properly and requesting that it feel.

With this request energy began rising very physically through my body. All the while I am focusing on these black worm things that were rapidly squirming about mating with each other’s heads. lol

I woke suddenly, a bit disoriented because I didn’t realize I had been asleep. I must have been OOB but not lucid enough to catch on. I mentally kicked myself for not taking advantage of it.

Dream: Snow in the Summer

I was with my family in a house. We were getting ready to go to a gathering in town. I knew we had moved to Montana. It was summer.

When we went outside we were surprised to find it had snowed. About two feet of pure, white snow covered everything. It was unusual because it was still summer.

We got into our minivan and drove on roads covered in the snow. I was a bit worried because the car swerved a bit, but all was fine.

When we got to our destination it was full of people who were part of a church. They greeted us and talked to us about our move and how we were liking things.

As we mingled the weather shifted and a light rain began to fall over the top of the snow. I remember thinking it was good because it would help clear the snow off the roads.

Interpretation

The false awakening seems to have been about me trying to get a handle on my body. The radio playing was the first clue that I was OOB because it is typical of “noises off” one hears as they are primed for exiting the body. I also find it interesting that it was saying “good morning”. 🙂 The worms could represent the Kundalini. Their strange mating behaviors could be symbolic of a shift in perspective. The window they were are in a “window” to that perspective. The energy then rises and wakes me and only then did I realize I had been dreaming and OOB. This is very unusual for me because I am pretty sensitive to shifts during dream time, especially those indicating I am OOB. My best guess is I was just too tired. My body needed the rest.

The second dream about moving to Montana is the second of its kind in a month (maybe less). Montana means “Mountains” and mountains are representative of the journey. I always see it as a spiritual journey but it can be any journey, really.

Snow in summer is a bit harder to interpret. Snow in the condition this snow was – white, fluffy, new – is about healing, finding deep, emotional peace and psychological clearing. So good sign! Summer is the season of rest, relaxation and enjoyment. It can also represent mid-life. The light rain likely symbolizes clearing as it was gentle and non-disruptive. In the dream I remember thinking it would help clear the roads, which I think perfectly describes the symbolism.

 

OBE: Snowy Landscape

Extremely tired! I couldn’t fall asleep last night and probably didn’t get to sleep until midnight. This is a normal sleep pattern for me when I am working. 😦

Woke up at 4am with several visuals left over from a dream I can’t remember. The first visual was a scene of being in a room with a wedding dress and being told I couldn’t put it on or wear it yet. The other was a visual of a white infinity sign. It was very large and then got smaller until it was about the size of my hand. It was pulsating and seemed alive. When I woke up I knew the Union or Kundalini rising had been delayed for a while. I was receiving a “break” as indicated in a recent dream.

OBE: Snowy Landscape

I must have fallen to sleep but do not remember. I remember being in a hotel room looking at a clock and talking with someone. The next thing I knew I went OOB and out the window of the hotel room. It was dark and I lifted very quickly into the air. The speed was such I thought I would be lifted into space so I yelled, “Stop! Stop!” I stopped and hovered very high up. I then flew as fast as I could across the sky looking down at a snow covered landscape below. I dipped down and saw a couple of young boys on a snow covered hillside. There was a blizzard coming and it began snowing. I threw snowballs at the boys. It seems I was in the “Child” persona. I went down to the oldest of the boys and kissed him on the lips. He seemed to freeze and then ran off taking his brother with him. The last thing I recall is looking at the scene and thinking it rather cold and dreary.

False Awakening

I felt myself re-enter my body. The energy swirled and shifted and then I was in bed. I did not fully awaken, though, and was back in the hotel room. I kept looking at the clock and tried to turn on the lamp so I had light to write down my experiences. The lamp wouldn’t work and the clock was stuck on 7:00am. When I went to investigate the clock was unplugged and the lamp was plugged in. The lamp still didn’t work.

The scene shifted and then I was talking to a man about the OBE and the meaning of the visions. Somehow we ended up inside a gym and I saw this man as very muscular and blonde. I remember talking to him about us going into the bathroom to make-out. I believe I was trying to get the K to rise, to remember any of it that I could. It was not meant to be.

When I woke up the number 313 was given to me. I was confused initially, thinking I had actually woken up and written down my experiences. It took me a while to fully realize it had been a dream. I rarely have OBEs when I have to wake early for work!

Since I don’t have time to write my considerations, I will save those for later. Just wanted to document these experiences for the time being. Off to work now.

Healing Spheres of Golden Light

In an attempt to get a longer, more restful sleep, I gave in and took 25mg of Benadryl last night. I slept until 7am with few wakings for a total of 10 hours of sleep!

Dreams and False Awakenings

The Benadryl gives me that heavy, full-of-sleep feeling, so although I did dream, I have few memories of dreams. The few memories I do have are riddled with false awakenings indicating that I was nearly lucid, but just not quite enough to wake up and recognize I was dreaming.

In one particular false awakening instance, I had “awakened” from a dream and rolled back over to return to sleep only to find that I was feeling a very strong energy in my root chakra and a churning desire in my second chakra. I recognized this and decided I needed to wake my husband to release some of the energy.

I got up out of bed (remember this is a dream but I think I am awake) and look for my husband. I find him sitting inside an unfamiliar car in the driver’s seat. He sees me and is surprised. I have a blanket wrapped around me and still feel very groggy. I reach over and kiss him passionately he. He is surprised and we make out for a short while. I am pleased because I feel such an overwhelming desire for him, a desire I have not felt since after the birth of our second child.

Gaining hope that perhaps we can rekindle that new love feeling, I am about to ask him to come into the house when he points ahead at a person walking along the road. He says,”I wonder why they are out so late?” He is curious and begins to drive toward the woman. This reveals an entire group of people walking along the road. A light appears which I think are car headlights. Turns out it is flashlights and the group is much larger than I thought.

My husband, being the socialite he is, questions the woman who says there is a neighborhood meeting. My husband gathers data from her to the extent that I lose interest completely in my original reason for being there. I remember thinking, “That does it for me”.

I recall following my husband as he talks and mingles with the group and we all walk outside along a dirt path that winds through woods and houses. I am flying in one of these instances and recall being just above the treetops and wanting to get out of there and explore. This is not allowed. I am to observe the scene and I do not like it.

False Awakening Two

I then “awaken” in my bed and hear water running. I wonder why it is running and not stopping so I get up to investigate and find the toilet has not shut off. I fix it and hear a noise in the kitchen.

There is a golden hue in the kitchen (all the house is unfamiliar). I go out and find my middle son is awake. I tell him to go back to bed.

It gets hazy here but I remember then being in a mall looking for my children after returning from the group of people my husband was with from the other dream. I find them wandering around and frantically gather them up to take them home. There is a man giving out wads of 100 dollar bills. I take one and do not believe it is real and throw it on the floor. On my way home I pick it up and say I will give it to my husband as he might believe the money is real.

When we get home the house is full of those people my husband was with. I tell them to leave. I did not invite them and they can’t just walk in without knocking and asking for entrance.

There is this shorter, middle aged woman who is very familiar there. She gives me a defiant look and resists my orders to leave. I see her as a threat to my marriage as she was the one leading the group and my husband tends to go along with what she asks him to do. Eventually she and the others do leave my house but my husband returns and invites them in. I feel powerless to do anything about it and feel a strange uncomfortable feeling. I do not want to feel this in my own home so I leave and stand outside looking at the front door.

Healing Spheres of Light

I awaken feeling this odd energy over my body. As I come to full awareness, I both sense and see these pulsating, golden spheres on my back and shoulder areas. They seem attached to me and I see one is placed where my shoulder and arm meet and another is six inches higher near my neck. Where they are touching me is an odd sensation, one I do not like.

Fully lucid, I want the feeling to go away. Still in the in-between, I see very clearly the golden spheres attached to grayish looking branches or vines. They are “ripe” and falling off like fruit falls off a tree. The vines seem alive, almost fleshy-like and seem to retreat somewhat when a golden sphere of fruit falls off. It is a very alien-like scene, like something from a Sci-Fi movie, and I withdraw from it, wanting it to go away as I still feel the strange feeling. It feels like I am being zapped with energy and where the energy touches me is a radiating alien energy that goes deep into my Being. I feel invaded but it does not hurt nor do I think I should be withdrawing from it. Yet a part of me does not want anything to do with these spheres.

Recognizing that something is being done to me, I wake fully and immediately question the experience. I see in front of me a hand written note on white paper. As I begin to read it I hear my guide say, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to love others?” I remember the dream and my rejection of the large group my husband so happily embraces. I want to retreat from it; to isolate myself from this “group”. The uncomfortable feeling returns and I say to my guide, “I don’t want to. Do I have to?” I hear, “No, but you will have to learn it at a later date” and I know that if I do not learn it now, that I will in another life. I cringe.

The feeling goes away but my hips feel very sensitive and I struggle to get comfortable. The feeling is not like any I have had before. It kind of feels like my legs were popped out of the hip socket and then replaced. Like I had been rearranged.

To Learn or Not to Learn, That is the Question

Fully awake, I perused my dreams, trying to remember them. What I found is that I began to re-write the dreams. For example, where I was in the car with my husband and he sees the woman, I re-wrote it by seeing instead an army in front of us who we both began to fight. There was a full on assault with guns and bombs. I came out of my reverie knowing I had re-written it and struggled to remember the original. The message was not lost on me, though.

In this life I tend to choose to avoid groups. I avoid making connections with groups. I do this to protect myself but also because groups make me uncomfortable. Last night, I stayed home with my youngest rather than go to a party with my husband. I chose this because it is outside my comfort zone. I have always been this way, mostly. Sometimes when I go to a party I am very social and open. But this is rare. I usually stand or sit far away from the crowd and rarely do I initiate a conversation.

I recognize that my real Self is very sociable. For some reason I chose to be the opposite in this life. I remember lives in which I was social and being social was easy. Not so in this life. The dreams I had last night suggest that I am to learn a lesson about sociability. It is linked to my husband and our marriage. I suspect there is a hidden “lie” that needs to be revealed but in order to do this I must step outside my comfort zone. I must challenge myself in order to “free” myself.

Trapped Energy

I couldn’t sleep last night. My mind was quite active and my body was as well. I could not keep still!

Somehow I managed to drift off to sleep and had an odd, semi-lucid dream about energy work. I awoke from this dream feeling very off and fidgety. It is hard to describe really what I was feeling as I have not ever really felt it before. Yet, I somehow knew what was wrong without knowing how I knew.

Trapped Energy

When I woke up from the semi-lucid dream state I was in, I was overly warm. I won’t say hot but I felt an intensity of energy that was pulsating in different areas on my body. This weird sensation seemed to generate a heat from within that made me very uncomfortable. The heat was not so much physical as it was spiritual, but I did feel warmer than normal.

The odd sensation made me feel the need to move and squirm. I guess I thought it would help but it didn’t. The more I moved, the more uncomfortable I got.

I was suddenly hit with the idea that I needed to focus on the energy and see where it was in my body. When I did this, I felt energy in spots all over my body. I felt it mostly in my lower body and abdomen. What is odd is that the energy would be in a certain spot and then jump to another spot. It was like I had polka dots of energy all over my body and they were lighting up and then going out only to transfer to another spot.

Recognizing that I needed to do something with this strange, haphazard energy, I got up out of bed and sat in a chair. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and focused on sending energy from my crown down into my feet. I did this for quite some time, visualizing a flow of energy down my spine and into the ground. As I did this, the fidgety feeling got less and less. After about five minutes, my eyes began to droop and I felt very relaxed. It had worked!

When I got back into bed I felt the energy was still not settled like it should be. I asked for assistance and felt the need to do Reiki on myself. I placed my hands on my midsection, where most of the energy still lingered, and focused on pulling energy out with one hand and pushing on the energy with the other. I eventually felt I should place one hand, my right one, palm up. When I did this, I felt the energy subside even more.

As this was happening, I felt energy settle over the top of my head around my third eye and up to my crown. I felt like I was wearing an energy helmet. I knew this meant I was receiving healing from my guides. Thank you!

Then the energy in my midsection intensified over my root and second chakras. It was a bit painful in my lower back. I just continued to focus on moving the energy out.

I felt all at once that I needed to focus on bringing energy in from my crown, so I moved my hands to my head. I did this for a little while and then felt I needed to use my hands to push the energy down. So I went over my entire body with my hands in a sweeping motion, pushing the energy down past my knees. I did this about six times.

Finally, I felt the need to move the energy out from both sides of my body. So I started in the center and with the same sweeping motion moved the energy to the side and then down. I did this about three times.

Feeling balanced and calm, I was able to easily fall asleep. I now understand why some people who experience this weird energy feeling find they need to sleep on the floor. I wonder if what I felt was what some people call “vibrations”? I could feel a buzzing within the dots of energy but it was not like the vibrations I get when about to go OOB.

Symptom Update

  • Ringing in ears
  • Popping in ears
  • Skin irritation/dryness
  • Vivid dreams
  • Energy fluctuations
  • Trapped energy
  • Restlessness
  • Moodiness

I have either a ringing or popping in my ears daily now. It is like I am changing altitude when I get the popping and the ringing is very slight, almost unnoticeable. The restlessness has been more intense. Yesterday I went on three walks and I have been feeling more inclined to exercise, feeling it is needed now more than ever. After last night’s weird energy issue, I can see why I was drawn to be outside so much that day.

Wharf

Not much has been going on with me spiritually this week. My ascension symptoms have decreased and I am feeling pretty much normal. When I check my chakras they are all open except for my crown, my third eye being the most wide open of them all.

Ascension Symptom Update

I am noticing that I am back to the high-energy state I was in prior to December 12th. I am also no longer experiencing the sweating and hot flashes that I was back then, which is a relief.

  • high energy
  • mood swings
  • feeling cold
  • seeing images/shapes out of corner of my eye
  • mild headache on and off
  • disinterest and/or feeling apathetic
  • deep, near dreamless sleep
  • restless at times

OBE – Wharf

I could not fall asleep last night because I was so cold but eventually I did. I suspect it was around midnight but am not sure.

I suddenly became aware that I was swimming in the water beside a wooden pier of some sort. I was not alone. Next to me I could sense a person; a man. Curious as to who was with me, I reached out and touched him. His body was solid and I could feel his arm and his back. He was facing me.

It was dark, so I suspected my vision had not turned on yet but I did not think much about it at the time. The man with me responded to my touching (I guess he thought I was sexually interested) and began to kiss me. I allowed him to, but was not really into it. I felt nothing in response to his kisses. I was more curious about who I was with.

As if my curiosity acted like a command, my vision suddenly brightened as if a light switch was turned on. I saw in front of me and very close a young man with brown hair and pale skin. I immediately stopped kissing him and inspected him. He looked directly at me with bright blue eyes that had flecks of different colors in them.

I realized that this young man was very young, probably only 15 or 16 years old. I was a bit surprised by this. “He’s just a boy!”, I thought to myself. The young boy stared at me uncomfortably and said, “Age doesn’t matter here”. I wondered to myself, “Can he read my thoughts?”

I recall thinking all kinds of things to myself about how young he was and how I would not have kissed him had I known. I am certain now, thinking back on the experience, that my thoughts were easily read by this young man because I sensed he was very disappointed that his sexual adventures with an older woman had been stopped. I laugh to myself now about it because I did not feel horrified or disgusted by his young age, just disinterested.

The young boy, whose name I know is Ryan (not sure how though), began to leave. I saw as he left that we were inside a building, a very old one at that. I must have gotten out of the water because I felt myself standing on a solid surface but it was swaying and moving as if with a current and I knew I must be on a pier of some sort. I surveyed the room I was in an saw it was made of old wood with spaces between each plank that let the light in.

I turned to my left and saw a man lounging nearby. He was just as vivid a sight as the boy was and seeing him took me by surprise. He was older than the boy with yellow, curly hair and deeply tanned skin. I went toward him to get a closer look and found myself face to face with him quite quickly. I looked into his eyes and saw/felt he was intrigued by my inspection of him. I saw his eyes appeared green and gold with some brown around the edges. I asked him, “What color are your eyes? Are they hazel?” He smiled and said, “Are they?” I somehow knew at that time that he and I had met before but I could not place him. I remember asking him, “You, too?” and he said, “Yes”.

comedytragedyI stood back and looked at him some more. He really was quite handsome, in a rugged sort of way. He was lean and tan and wearing a Speedo or maybe some of those tight fitting boxer briefs. I was amazed at how much detail I was seeing. I could see the tiny, curly blonde hairs all over his arms and legs and also the tattoos. I said to him, “You have tattoos” as I touched his left leg. I looked more closely at the tattoo and saw that it was of the comedy/tragedy mask. It took up his entire left thigh.

He allowed me to inspect him, his face showing his amusement. He said to me as I was looking at his tattoos, “Bet you wouldn’t guess I was a doctor”. I looked up at him, thought a moment and said, “No”.

He got up and headed toward the same door the young boy had gone through. I followed and watched as he walked down a dimly lit corridor. I could see it swaying with the tide and saw lanterns hanging from the rafters.

I yelled after him, “What’s your name!?

He turned and yelled back, “John”.

I said, “Nice to meet you, John. I’m Dayna”.

The interaction with John and Ryan was curious to me and I stood there wondering about it. I thought I must be in California but I am not sure why I thought this. I also wanted to know more about this John.

As I thought about everything my awareness began to increase exponentially. I felt myself come back into my body and immediately began to recount the OBE.

False Awakening

I laid there a while going over the OBE in my mind and then decided I must get up and type it up as soon as I could or else I would forget it. I got up and went to the computer and sat down. I began to try and type it up in an existing document but it would not allow me to. My daughter came and began to bother me about watching t.v. showing me the yellow triangle of the internet connection which meant access was limited. She kept bothering me to the point that I told her to go downstairs.

I suddenly realized I was not really awake but actually dreaming. I forced myself to wake up, feeling very, very groggy and finding that I could not remember where I was or what I had been doing. I knew I had an OBE but could not remember anything about it. I concentrated and was able to remember it. I got out of bed right away and wrote it down before I ended up in another dream.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 5 increasing to 8

Intent stated?: No

Time to bed: Midnight

Time to wake: 5:30am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yes

Mood: normal

Body: normal

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 1

Technique?: No

Sleeping position: Right side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Mineral supplement, Natural Calm, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 1000mg, Vitex 150mg, DonQuai 150mg, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg

Look for the Light

For the last two or three days I have been getting messages as I lay down to sleep. My thoughts have been pretty much nonexistent but I have been struggling to fall asleep for some reason. I finally asked two nights ago what was going on. I was told that I was “healing” and receiving “help”. Then, without asking, I was told to, “Look for the light”. Last night I was told this again and it worried me. Don’t people see “the light” when they die? So I asked some questions about what it meant. I was told I would be “conscious” when it happened and that I would be “okay”.

When I asked others what they thought it meant, I got various responses. Some said that it just means to look for the positive in life while others said it meant to stay in the Now. A good friend of mine said: “Looking for the light helps to transition our experience to that which feels good, expansive, reaching towards Spirit. You are light!!” I believe her answer was the most spot on. Why? Because my guide has been saying, “Remember who you are”. I am still not sure who that is.

Following the Light

I was awakened this morning to my bed shaking. It was not violent shaking, like in The Exorcist, but it was noticeable enough that it made me concerned and I held my entire body completely still. It passed quickly but I recalled the same thing had happened earlier in the week. I wondered if it meant I was about to go OOB? I do not recall experiencing shaking before projecting, at least not in my bed.

I tossed and turned as I tried to return to sleep. I had awakened early again and it irritated me because I really wanted to sleep in! I finally said to my guide, “I want to astral. Please!” I did not get a response but a feeling that it was possible, almost like he said, “If you really want to”.

I must have fallen asleep soon after because the next thing I remember was being in my bed in my mother’s house where I spent most of my childhood. I heard people talking and climbed out of bed sluggishly to see what was going on. I recall there was a tall woman with very dark brown, almost black, shoulder length hair, doing most of the talking. I was listening to her and trying to interact but I felt heavy and cumbersome, as if I were sleep walking. I went out into the hallway as the woman spoke to me and other people. The room was brightly lit and golden colored. It sounded like there were many people in the house but all I saw was the woman. She seemed very lively and alert, smiling and bright, almost like she was glowing. She was discussing gifts and I wondered if it was the holiday. I recall being seated on the floor with my baby son and looking through various toys and other objects. I heard that all of it was brought from “there” but I don’t know where “there” was. I was upset because it was cluttering the floor and got very irritated with everyone, though I could not see them. The irritated feeling is familiar to me in life and it seems it all came out of me true-to-life. I instantly wanted the mess gone! I snapped at the woman and told her I only wanted her to bring the one thing and pointed to this odd looking tall, yellow toy. I think it was a block sorting toy, you know the kind where the baby puts the shape into the correct hole? I grabbed the toy and went back towards my bed, leaving them there.

I got back into bed and kept thinking about how I wanted to leave my body. I was very aware of the bed and could feel that I was in my body. I started going through the different methods I use to try for conscious exit. I thought of rolling out of my body and rocking back and forth. Whenever I tried to rock back and forth I kept feeling different parts of my body like my hands and believed I had messed it up. Frustrated, I began to look for the hypnagogic images that I use to get, but I saw none.

I lingered in my body for some time, sensing the energy fluctuations and wondering if I would feel the vibrations. I even asked to feel them, but never did. During this time it felt like I was going in and out of my body very quickly, almost like my energy was shaking very rigorously. Perhaps this was the vibrations but without feeling?

Suddenly I was aware of a large, leafless tree in the corner of the room. It was dark in the room, but I could see the outline of the branches very clearly. It was a short, squat bush with branches that had very pointy ends. Recognizing that it was very obviously out of place, I went over to it. When I reached it, I knew I was OOB and became instantly disinterested in the tree. I went towards the window and through it, momentarily losing my vision as I did.

On the other side of the window it was dark but the large pool I knew would be there was lit up and glowing a vivid, crystal clear blue. I went directly into the water, fully expecting to feel myself become one with it. Instead, it felt as if I were in a bubble, surprisingly dense and not fluid at all. I also could not see under the water, which is not the norm. I felt myself instinctively hold my breath. I willed myself to continue breathing, dove down a bit and then resurfaced. When I did, I saw the edge of the water and noticed a glowing, red light switch was mounted on the side, just above the glowing, blue water line. I found it curious and went over and flipped the switch, fully expecting the entire pool to turn a glowing florescent red color. Instead, nothing happened. Disappointed, I exited the pool and flew up into the night sky.

Once I was flying, I looked out ahead of me. It was dark, but it didn’t bother me at all. I was at the level of the tree tops and looked down at their dark silhouettes as I flew. I did not want to be pulled up, so I purposefully stayed in the branches, even grabbing onto them. Then I noticed a light in the distance behind the trees. I went toward it, hoping to find out what it was. When I got to where I had seen the light, it was gone.

I turned around to head back towards the house. I could see my mother’s bedroom window. It was lit up and golden yellow, as if the lights were on inside. I went towards the window, intent on going inside. Knowing I would meet resistance, I prepared myself and lost my vision. At this time I also remember humming a tune without words. As I tried to enter the room, the volume of my voice humming the tune intensified. I lingered in the blackness for a little while, still humming and hoping I would emerge on the other side and in the light. Unfortunately, I went back into my body and woke up.

Surfacing Memory

I lay in bed a while and could hear my family still moving around the house. This told me I had only been asleep briefly. I rolled over and began to recount my OBE, hoping to pick up any tidbits of information I may have lost.

I recalled the OBE in its entirety and knew I had been in the lower astral realm. I also recognized that the dream prior to it was semi-lucid and likely also in the astral somewhere but the way my dream self felt, all heavy and cumbersome, did not seem to fit. Perhaps this was me trying to become more conscious and not succeeding?

I do not believe I ever woke up between experiences but instead used my going back to bed to help me achieve more awareness. I am not sure if this is what is called a “false awakening” but it seems to fit. It worked and I was able to fully take control of the experience.

Oddly, as I was sorting through the memories, one surfaced that I completely missed. When I was in my “bed”, trying various methods to exit my body, I found myself inside a small, golden room. It was small and box-like, almost like an empty closet. In front of me was a door and I was instructed to “open it”. I did. After I opened the door I was suddenly aware of the tree in the room.

Why So Much Darkness?

Although I got what I asked for, I was disappointed to once again have such a dark and dreary OBE. I immediately asked my guide why this was. He, of course, asked me, “Why do you think?” and I remembered how he keeps telling me, “I am you” and “This is you” in reference to my OBE. I realized that I am not seeing because I do not see any alternatives for the situation I find myself in in life. I feel trapped, as if any decision I make will have the same results. I do not feel I have much to look forward to except more of the same. These considerations result in darkness because I am not able to “see” beyond. This makes sense because my guide has also been telling me, “You will see”. Interesting.