Tag Archives: fire

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The Full Story

Hope you all had a great Easter holiday with family. I took my children to my mom’s house where we had a nice meal, hunted for eggs and went swimming. It was in the mid-80’s so nice and warm, though the water was pretty cold and we ended up in the hot tub more than the pool.

Before the egg hunt.
Hot tub time!

Since we were near our old house, we went to investigate the renovations. The house was open and cleared out so we did a walk through. The entire upstairs had been gutted, leaving only the beams and outer walls. The fire had most obviously stayed in the attic area because almost all of the damage was in the roof.

 

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Overall the damage to the house didn’t upset me but my daughter and oldest son were a little disturbed. Both of them remember the house from their childhood so it, of course, would be upsetting.

The Full Story

Both my step-father and later my husband would tell me the full story as given to them by the wife of the man who died. The night of his suicide the wife had opted to not sleep in the bed with her husband because of a long-time upset of him not sleeping in the bed with her. Instead he would work through the night in a type of mania. They had been trying to reconcile their relationship since Christmas and he had been doing well, going to counseling and meeting all her demands, but he had started slacking. So that evening when she took her stuff to sleep downstairs he asked her, “Are you sleeping downstairs.” She replied she was and told him, “You made your bed, now sleep in it.”

This set him off and he drank an entire bottle of wine while muttering and writing all over the walls and the bed sheets. He was blaming his wife for everything he had done and would do. He pulled all her clothes down from the closet and put them in a pile on the floor. She had just bought them and he thought she was trying to find a new man. He stood over them holding matches as he accused her of cheating on him.

She stayed downstairs most of the time and he would sometimes yell, “Is this really what you want?” And she would say, “Of course not. Come downstairs and lets talk about it.” But he refused and got more and more erratic. At one point he disconnected the internet so that she could not use it.

She took the pistol and hid it and later went up to check on him. He mentioned to her about the pistol and then pulled the shotgun out from under the bed. He knelt down on the floor with it, barrel up and looked at her, saying, “Is this what you want?” Then he discharged it into the ceiling. Fearing he intended a murder suicide, she got out of there as quickly as she could, grabbed the house phone and went outside. She called 911 as she hid in the bushes.

Outside she waited as the 911 operator talked to her. Through a window she saw her husband go downstairs with the shotgun in his hands. That was the last time she saw him. She did not hear it when he shot himself in the head but she did hear the fire alarms when the fire was set.

911 called out SWAT and they arrived first and one of them took her far from the house. Then the fire truck arrived but by then most of the upstairs had been destroyed by the fire.

Later, the men looking through the rubble found her husband’s phone under the pile of burned clothes he had lit on fire. She got the phone in working condition and then found over 4 hours of voice recordings from that night. She also found texts he had sent to family before he died telling them, “Listen to the recording”. There were older texts with a friend who had suggested she might be cheating on him.

She later found out that he had switched his life insurance plan from her being the sole beneficiary to her and four other family members. He did this while with family over the Christmas holiday. This might suggest that he intended to kill himself all the way back then and might have had a suicide plan ahead of time.

The night he killed himself he took the dogs downstairs (they had four) and then set fire to her clothes in the closet. He then positioned himself so that his body would fall into the fire after he shot himself. He created his own funeral pyre. The official cause of death was by gunshot, not fire.

Idea

The wife does not intend to live in the house again. She was advised to repair the damage and put the house on the market. I suggested to my husband that we buy it back. He is about to get a huge promotion allowing us to afford two mortgages if we chose. So I figure why not buy it back? So my husband spoke to the owner and she said she would consider selling it to us, we just don’t know if she will offer it to us before she puts it on the market or if she will make us wait and compete with other offers. If she chooses the latter and there is a bidding war, we likely won’t have a chance.

Based upon what my husband told me, she seems most interested in making a profit off the property. He says she was very bitter toward her husband and angry that he changed the life insurance and put her in the position of having to deal with a damaged house. So while I would love to return to our old home, the odds do not look to be in our favor unless we somehow end up getting enough cash to buy it outright (which is not impossible).

Other News

Almost a week ago now, my children found a baby dove wrapped in tissue in a planter along the sidewalk. We rescued him and have been feeding and caring for him ever since. He is thriving and getting bigger and stronger every day. He was just getting feathers when we found him. He now has full feathered wings and almost full feathers on the rest of his body. We call him “Birdy” and he lives in a cardboard box as his “nest”. Soon he will be trying to fly and be out of the nest, though. It is just a matter of time.

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I kind of see this little bird as a message but it is hard to say exactly if he represents anything, really. It is just a feeling. I suspect that by the time we release him that it will be symbolic of a similar transformation being complete for me. I have often received messages of how I am like a baby bird who eventually must eventually learn to fly and leave the nest. Perhaps some phase is soon to come to an end? We’ll see, I guess.

Dove Symbolism and Meaning:

  • Love
  • Grace
  • Promise
  • Devotion
  • Divinity
  • Holiness
  • Sacrifice
  • Maternal
  • Ascension
  • Messenger
  • Hopefulness
  • Purification

 

 

 

 

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Dream: Up in Flames

Dream themes of fire and water continue in my dreams. Yesterday it was a flooding parking garage. The day before a kitchen stove kept bursting into flames. And this morning, more flames.

Dream: Up in Flames

This dream began inside my mother’s kitchen (nourishment, spiritual healing). My husband was with me and I had in my hands a box of macaroni (comfort and ease) and cheese. We were discussing what to eat and could not come to an agreement. So, box in hand, I said, “We’re having this” and I opened up the box by pulling the tab on the top.

I poured the contents of the box on the counter while saying, “Just making sure it doesn’t have any worms.” The contents were not the typical macaroni as one would expect. Instead, there were spaghetti-type noodles, or at least something resembling that, separated by tiny strips of white paper. I sorted through it and found no worms (degradation, negativity) and was surprised.

When it came to cooking the macaroni we went outside. I held the noodles in my hands and went to a fire (passing of old into new) mound just in front of the house. The noodles now took on the shape of strips of paper. Some of it was shredded letters (communication) and envelopes, while other pieces were of notebook paper (self-expression) in long strips.

There was discussion the entire time, but I can’t recall any of it. The feeling, though, was disagreement and a kind of unsettled feeling. It seemed that the strips of paper was the result of our conversation, as if I was shredding communication.

As we tended to the cooking “noodles” I saw another fire. When I went to check on it I noticed a blackberry bush with tiny berries (fulfilled relationship or experience) on it. I told my husband, “Did you see the berries? You should pick them before they are gone.” He went to pick them but asked me to turn on the lights since it was too dark to see (lack of awareness). I went to turn on the porch lights but they wouldn’t work. So, I went inside to search for an alternate light source. I found a lamp in my sister’s room, tried to disconnect it but the wires were tangled, and ultimately picked up another lamp and took it outside. The light bulb I found was not normal, though. When turned on, little lightning bolts of color would shoot through it (reminds me of the Kundalini). I opted for a regular bulb but when turned on it was not near enough to illuminate the area.

Then I heard a commotion and saw the pile my husband was at was out of control, flames spreading toward the house. I thought about the garden hose but the fire was in the way. My mom was suddenly there to try and help. I saw piles of brown leaves (pun on leaving but also fallen hopes and dreams) and dried grass catching fire and spreading quickly. I remember my mom saying, “What do you expect setting fire on dried out ground?”

Then the other pile was also spreading and I ran toward it. My husband had his shirt (personality shown to others) in his hands and was trying to beat out the fire. My mom was behind him carrying one of my sweatshirts to try and beat out the fire. I yelled at her about my shirt, not wanting her to use it, and she stopped. I looked at the pile and it was almost as high as the roof and also full of dry leaves and dirt. The fire had burned the center and was now spreading out along the edges. I knew nothing could be done about it.

Interpretation

This is the second dream of fire at my mom’s house. The other dream was back in July, right before the Kundalini came back with a vengeance. At the time, the dream was so vivid that I actually warned my mom, thinking it may be a premonition concerning her and current issues she had been experiencing. Turns out it wasn’t about my mom at all but about a fire being set within me (Kundalini). I suspect now that my mom’s home was symbolic of my own “home” or the sense of it anyway.

Whether this dream is similar, I can’t say yet. Time will reveal that I suppose.

My overall sense from this dream and other recent dreams is that upheaval is on the horizon. I have had enough dreams now of water to know that emotion will be involved. Thankfully, the emotion is symbolized by clear, calm water, which means it will not be turbulent or explosive at least. The fire can be cleansing and purifying, so perhaps it is all about healing and purging.

The most memorable parts of the dream were the torn envelopes and letters and the light bulb. The images of these things stand out in my memory. I was talking when I was holding the envelope in my hands but I don’t know what I was saying. The sense was that I may have been attempting to resolve the past in some way. The light bulb was amazing and beautiful but I knew it could not be used to shed light on the situation. In the dream I put it aside and used a regular bulb but it did not have enough light. This could be symbolic of the Higher Self (lightening bolt bulb) and the Ego or lower self (regular bulb).

The berries were somewhat vivid as well. I saw them as very tiny and nearly dried out, soon to be consumed by the fire. I was trying to get my husband to pick them but he never did. I suspect the berries represent the dwindling of our relationship in some way.

When I woke I was feeling avoidant. I was also feeling a bit sad because I recognized that I had to focus on my life now and handle some of the issues that continue to be swept under the rug. I don’t want to do this but there was resignation to the fact that I could not avoid it any longer.

There is a sense that the Kundalini wants me to be like the Phoenix – to completely burn away all of my old self and rise as my new self. From the beginning of her raging within me, I have felt an inner push to do “crazy” things. I have done some – like quit my job (twice), change my name, travel to meet others, etc – but I have not had the courage to completely rid myself of everything that no longer resonates.

I have felt guided to read through some of my old posts lately and one of the messages that came through was that if I do not do what I feel guided (or pushed) to do, that it will happen despite me. Ultimately, this means that I will be forced through life circumstances to take action one way or the other. That which no longer resonates will be eliminated.

The Kundalini is destructive as well as creative. She burns through everything inside and out. She is a purifying fire of death and rebirth. Change is inevitable and often very uncomfortable. The more she rises within me, the braver I become. When I surrender to her I am without fear. There is no concern for the process or the consequences, just pure acceptance. If these dreams are a premonition of what is to come, it could be that the Kundalini will initiate change in my life. At this point I have no fear of her return, in fact, I look forward to it.

 

 

 

 

 

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Ominous Vision

Last night, as I lay in bed and just moments after mediating and hearing a ringing in my left ear, I saw a very vivid vision that came with a message.

The vision was of a city street. The silhouette of a man was in the front, left of the scene. Behind him it was dark and there rose up a figure with large, dark wings. I could not see the features of this figure, very obviously an angel, but his wings were immense and took up the entire background. Suddenly the wings burst into flame and the dark angelic being rushed up behind the man and moved him forward. He said, “Get away from Huntington, Alabama”.

This, of course, brought me out of my reverie immediately. I got out of a bed repeating the city name so as not to forget it and did a search on Google. I could not find Huntington in Alabama but I was able to find Huntingdon College in Montgomery, AL.

What is odd about this experience is that prior to meditating I had been feeling “off” and noticed I had 12 guides/assistants around me. I was instructed to focus on my body, which I did, and felt a strong pull in my second and third chakras. I spent some time focusing on what the feeling meant and pushing Ego out of the picture so as to get the truth. Then I heard the distinct, high pitched ringing in my left ear. I wondered about it and when it went away my thoughts were clear and I was in a light meditation. Within seconds I had this vision.

When I returned to bed to try and sleep I only had 10 guides/assistants and was able to easily fall asleep.

I do not recall ever having a vision like this before. I have had dreams with messages about other people/events (Katrina for example), but not visions. I feel I need to post this vision in case it is precognitive. If you know anyone who lives near Huntingdon College or uses the Huntington Airport to fly to Alabama keep this vision in the back of your mind.