It’s been a strange day….

I woke at around 10pm feeling as if I had slept the entire night but knowing I had just fallen asleep maybe 20 minutes prior. When I woke I was talking to a guide whose energy felt very substantial and powerful. There was a wisdom with him and his voice, though I couldn’t audibly hear it, felt deep and soul-resonating.

When we spoke I felt very much to be a student to him, or at least to be the one receiving guidance. I was asking him why I had to Remember and then not be allowed to retain the experience consistently throughout the remainder of my life. Why was I allowed to feel a deep connection to others but only temporarily? How can I go on Knowing what I Know?

He asked me to Remember why I am here. When he did, I felt why again and Knew that life as a human was meant to test. I am meant to feel disconnected so that I can have that perception and experience. I remember asking to not be human anymore. He then asked me to consider something. A vision of walking into a hotel room and finding my partner with another came to me. It was just a flash of memory but with it came an entire consideration that perhaps I am feeling what I am feeling because I intended to feel the way another had been made to feel by me? Maybe in another lifetime I was the one who felt betrayed and who fought to keep my partner from another? Maybe my partner was the one who was pining for someone they could never be with? That unrequited love feeling is definitely distinct.

Throughout our conversations there I had an odd feeling in my body. My entire right leg felt weird, like it was about to fall asleep but wasn’t quite there yet. I also felt weird energetically, like not quite connected to this body or realm. I ended up moving my body to rid myself of the feeling.

This particular energy sensation is fairly new to me but I have not mentioned it because I don’t know how to describe it exactly. I have felt it in random body parts – my right eye, my head and now my right leg. When the feeling comes on it feels uncomfortable and if I focus on it I feel that I might be ill or worse if it becomes anymore apparent. It never does, though, as I have learned to not focus on it and find that helps it to dissipate. It feels very wrong, like there is a mismatch between this body and my energy. There is also a metallic taste – that’s wrong word but don’t know how else to describe it. It’s an energetic “taste”.

That brings me to another topic. I was just explaining to my husband about how I seem to be able to “taste” energy. This is a new perception for me. I have come to recognize those I meet in Spirit (and for some in body as well) by their “energy signature”. This signature has distinct features that I perceive through a sense I have no name for and that is closest to that of the sense of taste. I explained to my husband that this “signature” is why we don’t need names to identify who we are when we are not in bodies. Our experiences imprint into our energetic field and act as our signature or fingerprint – soulprint. 🙂 When I have telepathically connected with others – merged with them – their soulprint is completely open and available to me. I can distinguish distinct “flavors” – personality, emotion, tendencies, etc. I perceive the “good” and the “bad” but all of it is exquisitely beautiful – like a tapestry or artwork. I see the Whole Self and am in awe of it. There is reverence felt for the person/soul.

Anyway, on to the rest of the weirdness of today….

I have been feeling different today. More than once while talking to others I have felt energetically “ill” to the point of it hitting me in physical ways. When I listen to someone talking for extended periods I feel it the most. It is a sick kind of wanting to fall to the ground or pass out. Like I am getting tasered by their energy. While listening to my boss describe something to me today I felt like this and after she left I got a headache.

I often feel this way when I first get to work in the morning and then it levels off after I’ve been there a few hours. Perhaps I am acclimating somehow to the energies?

Nonetheless, I think I am very wide open right now and picking up on others’ junk/energy.

I’ve also just had a weird feeling over all, similar to how I felt upon waking early in the night. At one point I wanted to just cry because I felt like I was losing my mind. it was short-lived – I composed myself quickly – but I have not felt anything like it in quite a while.

There was also a memory from years ago – 2003ish. It was of how I was told in advance by my guidance about a man I would meet. I was given his name and the specific date of our meeting. Later, after meeting him on the date given and being romantically involved with him, I noticed a piece of mail with his name on it and realized he went by his middle name and his first name was the one my guides told me! I had also met him on the exact date they had given me.

The sudden memory of this hit me all at once and sorta stunned me. Why have that memory? It was what I think threw me into that “I’m going crazy” feeling which brought me close to tears. It’s kind of a feeling of being ripped apart internally. Well, maybe that is a bit dramatic but in the moment it feels very disorienting at the least.

Now, at home and after spending time walking my dog and doing some yoga I feel much better. Sometimes I just don’t know what the f^%* is going on with the energy and ascension and, well the world! I live in two different worlds – one that seems to be mostly in my mind but I know it’s not – and the other one that everyone else seems to occupy. It’s days like today, though, when my own world seems to crash into the other world, when I struggle the most.

Just realized it is 12/12 today. Hahaha Maybe I fell through a portal…..