Tag Archives: health

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Hypoglycemia

Most of the day yesterday I felt very on edge. I felt very close to breaking down into tears most of the day and that was curious to me. Yes I had a bad day the day before but it really didn’t signal “the end”, did it? Yet that seems to be how I was feeling/thinking most of the day yesterday. I literally felt that this was just the beginning and more was to come.

Hypoglycemia

Last night I woke up three times. Each time I had to use the bathroom, which is very irritating to me in itself. However, one time I awoke thinking the word “hypoglycemia”.

I had been dreaming about going into a very large bathroom. It had a very wide, open layout and the shower was one of those that was built into the room and open so that someone with a wheelchair could use it. I remember thinking about this while I was in the bathroom. I used the shower while fully clothed and then left. I remember that my clothes were still dry even though I had just showered.

Taking a shower indicates healing in a dream. Specifically spiritual and/or physical renewal. The fact that I had my clothes on indicates that change in my outward appearance does not change who I am on the inside. Being in a bathroom could be a direct reflection of me needing to use the restroom or it could be indicating a desire to cleanse myself emotionally and psychologically. Perhaps it is both.

I instantly put the two things together – the thought of hypoglycemia and the shower dream. I then had a memory of the search I had done on the internet about my frequent need to urinate during the night, my intense thirst throughout most of the day and some of my other issues. The top result was hypoglycemia.

Why was this in my mind upon waking?

When I was 28, I had a very scary experience while at work. I lost my vision, felt faint and had to sit down. Upon sitting, I could not see anything and it was really scary. The nurse was called and sent me some orange juice and peanut butter crackers. Within a minute of drinking the orange juice, my vision returned and after I ate all of the snack I felt normal.

I went to the doctor who could find nothing wrong with me and she told me I was hypoglycemic. She instructed me to eat every 2-3 hours and told me what to eat. I did this and did not have an issue again until I was pregnant.

I had previous experiences like that all the way back to my early 20’s. One time i checked my blood glucose levels with a coworkers device. My blood sugar was 72. This is very low but I felt fine. One is considered hypoglycemic when their blood sugar levels drop below 70. Here are symptoms of hypoglycemia:

  • blurry vision
  • rapid heartbeat
  • sudden mood changes
  • sudden nervousness
  • unexplained fatigue
  • pale skin
  • headache
  • hunger
  • shaking
  • sweating
  • difficulty sleeping
  • skin tingling
  • trouble thinking clearly or concentrating
  • loss of consciousness

When I have had episodes of low blood sugar I experienced: blurry vision, rapid heartbeat, mood changes (horrible ones!), nervousness, fatigue, headache (always), hunger (sometimes), shaking (horrible), skin tingling, trouble thinking clearly. I almost had the loss of consciousness that one time. That meant my blood sugar had gotten very low. Scary!

cosmicshowerDiabetes

I was told at the time that I did not have diabetes, just low blood sugar caused by my intense exercise routine and not eating enough. When I adjusted my diet, I had no more issues. If I ever did feel the symptoms come on, which for me are irritability, hunger, and headache, then I eat and they went away.

But now I am experiencing increased thirst and hunger throughout the day even though I have decreased my exercise and intensity of exercise substantially. I still eat five or six times a day, but I am finding that within an hour of eating breakfast I am hungry again! Add to that the skin issues I have been having, the sexual disinterest (dysfunction), irritability, fatigue, blurry vision or vision changes, tingling in my hands/feet, and it sure seems very likely that I have or am developing diabetes. For a full list of symptoms, click here.

I also have a family history of type 2 diabetes. My grandfather was diagnosed with diabetes in his 70s. He had a sister who lost a foot from diabetes. All of his six brothers and sisters got diagnosed with it later in life. My mom is hypoglycemic and getting worse (though she would deny it).

Putting Two and Two Together

Once I was up and thinking about all of this information it did not take me long to connect it with the other messages I have gotten. Not long ago I was told, “Listen to your body” and it is like that message has made me ultra sensitive to everything going on with my body. I actually started thinking I was becoming a hypochondriac! But the feeling only intensified after my dermatologist appointment.

I long ago asked myself what the cause of my death would be. I instantly knew it would be kidney failure. I put it on a “shelf” in my mind to save for later. I now cannot ignore the fact that the kidneys suffer from what diabetes does to the body. Nor can I ignore the fact  that in two of my three pregnancies my kidneys were the first area of my body to threaten to shut down from pre-eclampsia. I have also had protein in my urine since I was a small child. No known reason for it and the amount is always so slight that the doctors never worry about it.

Maybe I am over thinking all of this but I cannot ignore the feeling. So I will be looking for a doctor in the area and getting a complete physical to find out if there is really anything wrong with me.

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Bad Day

Yesterday I went to the dermatologist to try to figure out the source of my skin issues. She immediately diagnosed me with eczema. I don’t remember the specific type of eczema (she gave it a name) but she said it was a result of an allergy. She asked me if I had ever had allergies in the past. Based upon my answers, she urged me to get an allergy test done because allergies change over time. Then she gave me a prescription hydrocortisone cream for the eczema.

I also have folliculitis on the back of one of my legs. She said it was likely caused by me itching my overly dry skin. She gave me some antibacterial gel for that. I have had folliculitis before so bad that I had to take prednisone, so I was not surprised by this diagnosis.

Then I showed her the odd sore on my right leg that has been there since the first week in January. She immediately said, “That’s got to go”. She told me that it looked like a mole to her and that anything that grew that fast and had not gone away needed to be biopsied. So right then and there they numbed a spot on my leg and removed it. I was told I would know the result in about a week.

I had suspected she would biopsy it. When I first saw it (and I had to use a mirror to see it), it concerned me. My first thought was that it was some kind of cancer which I researched. It looked to me like basal cell carcinoma. When I asked her what she thought it was, she mentioned basal cell carcinoma and one other possibility that I had never heard of. When I asked her if I should be concerned, she said no and told me she had one on her face. She told me it just had to be removed and if it was cancer then I may have to come in and have more skin removed. That was it.

So I went from the dermatologist straight to get my prescription cream. It took an hour to fill because it was 4:30pm and I guess everyone goes to Walgreens to fill prescriptions at that time of day, or at least it seemed like the case! On a positive note, my high deductible, Obama Care crap insurance that costs too much cut the doctor visit and prescription cost in half. I guess Aetna isn’t so bad after all.

I called and told my husband what had happened. I had only just told him about my concerns and the doctor appointment this past weekend because I just didn’t feel like telling him. He wasn’t concerned then and still wasn’t when I told him about the biopsy. When I got home he hugged me and said, “Mema (his mom) wants to know if she can have your car when you die”. I said yes, fake-laughing about it. I really didn’t think it was funny.

Dread

Something about the biopsy and possible skin-cancer diagnosis caused me to feel dread, like more is coming. I keep thinking, “If I have cancer on my skin, what is to say I don’t have it somewhere in my body, also?” Thinking about that possibility bothers me but not so much. I decided long ago that if I get diagnosed with some kind of cancer in my body that I won’t seek treatment. I will let whatever happens, happen.

I went to bed really exhausted. I guess it was the day’s events or maybe I was just tired because I woke up at 5am that morning and could not go back to sleep. I was woken up about an hour after falling asleep. I remember being outside my body and resisting coming back to it despite the strong pull. My son had been wailing and that was the “pull” back. I was so groggy when I got up to soothe him. Then I struggled to return to sleep.

When I woke up I was filled with despair and disinterest in life. I recall only one other time when I felt this low and that was in 2005. I suspect my review of my journal from that time is what has triggered some of this despair. That and the bad day I had yesterday.

I had a strong urge to delete my FB account this morning along with a strong urge to ask my guides to stop talking to me during the day. I have done the latter in the past because it was just too depressing to be constantly reminded of the spiritual. I eventually asked them to stop communicating all other times, too, except when absolutely necessary. Then they came back and I am feeling the need to make the same decision again. I honestly would rather they had just stayed quiet than to give me hope of something good happening. Unfounded hope is worse than no hope at all.

Trend

When I went on FB today to check the groups I am a part of, I discovered that a close friend had deactivated her account. It had just been active yesterday and I thought it odd that I also had the same urge. I understand why she would deactivate her account. I probably should also.

But I keep seeing things posted that end up helping me. One such post I saw today I am going to share with you. It helps me feel a bit better about how I have been feeling. Maybe it will help you, too.

If I’m Waking Up, Why Don’t I Feel………Better?

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Sewer Cat

Yesterday was a weird day. I say that because I had such an odd feeling most of the day. I felt unmotivated and restless. I was moody and negative as a result. My mind kept focusing on two things: my physical health and my happiness.

Skin Issues and Concerns

My dry skin issues continue. Thankfully my face has dramatically changed from bad to good. I was experiencing tiny bumps, redness and dryness all over my face. Prior to that (this is going back to August last year) I had chin acne that looked more like lesions that I needed antibiotics to clear up. Now my face feels baby soft, is clear and radiant and if I do get any acne it clears up overnight and without redness or irritation. So that is the good news.

The bad news is that I am getting more itchy patches of skin. This started about six weeks ago with a patch of eczema on my arm. That went away. Around the same time I saw a strange looking spot on my right leg that looked like it was healing. I had no idea when it happened so I kept an eye on it. Since then, the sore has not healed and now looks like a pink mole. Additionally, the itchy patches have spread to both of my legs and one elbow and forearm. Though they are bothersome, especially after a shower or at night when I am trying to sleep, they are not getting larger or causing that much trouble. I use to get rashes on my legs in the past and always had to take get steroids to get rid of them. I was told it was an allergic reaction to something but the cause was never identified and since it didn’t happen much I just let it go. I suspect I will have to get steroids again to rid myself of this irritation.

The pinkish bump is what is bothering me the most. I have an appointment with my dermatologist in three days and I suspect she will want to biopsy it. Yuck. Of course I think the worst case scenario – that it is some kind of cancer – and have been scouring the internet to figure out what it is. It looks mostly like psoriasis or basal cell carcinoma. Neither is a concern to me but more of an inconvenience and a bother. I really don’t want to have to have to deal with either.

Happiness

It has been a long time since I have felt truly happy and it has not gone unnoticed. I have tried to keep myself busy so as to not think about it too much but it is pointless to try to run from the truth as it will eventually catch up to you.

I won’t go into the details about what exactly it is that is causing me to feel this way in part because I am not exactly sure what the source is. I will say that it is not the first time in this life that I have felt this way and I suspect that it originates not only from experiences in this life, but in past lives as well.

I was shown in a vision this morning two dimly lit rooms attached to the side of my house. When I saw them I said to my guide, “We don’t go in those rooms”. He said, “You should”. I recognized the symbolism and mentally went into the rooms, noting that the floors were drab and dingy and needed to be replaced. I thought about renovating them and felt up to it, but nothing happened and the vision vanished. I recognized the message, though.

I have read online that the ascension process leads to all kinds of life changes. People sell their houses (check), relocate (check), leave their jobs (check), experience death and loss (check), leave relationships, and often do things that others consider out of character. This is purposeful in that it is part of the healing process as people begin to recognize those things in their life which are not true to them.

If I reflect on my life in the past year, I experience most of the above changes. I left my negative job in February, 2014 only to again change jobs in August, 2014. In this juggling of jobs, I moved from full-time to part-time and it has relieved my job-related stress. I also had my third child in March 2014 and took six weeks of maternity leave. While on maternity leave, my husband and I decided to sell our house and relocate. Then my grandmother died in May 2014. That same day, my house sold after two days on the market. The rest of the summer was spent preparing for moving by finding a new house. At the last minute we found a house. The numerology number of this house’s address is an 11. The two streets leading to the house are named, “Glorious” and then “Ascent”. So imagine driving home every day and reading “Glorious Ascent” on the way to your new home. 🙂

Despite these changes and the relief that came with them, I am still feeling a change needs to be made. My home life is less than ideal; my relationship with my husband strained and becoming more so. I continue to pull away from him and I honestly don’t know why.

Sewer Cat

I went to bed with both of the above issues on my mind. It is no surprise that I had a night of vivid dreams.

The one dream I recall the most involved me coming home to a house that was not mine. I felt very out of place in the dream but it did not “wake” me up within it. There was a little girl there who I recognized but could not remember. We talked and then she opened the front door and let in a scruffy, white cat. She was excited, saying the cat had gotten lost and she was so happy he was home. She mentioned how some people had been abducting cats for profit and she had worried he was one of them. I remember thinking that I hate cats.

Then she said something about hearing a noise. I listened closely and sure enough there was a noise coming from the bathroom. It sounded like a meow, very faint.

The girl ran into the bathroom and came out holding a wet, white cat. It was covered in grime and looked like an old rag. She said, “He must have gotten stuck in the sewer. I pulled him out of the toilet”. I thought that I would rather stay away from the cat. The girl was happy as this cat had been lost as well.

I remember at this time meeting with the girl’s father. For some reason I was staying with them at their house and I slept in the same bed as this man. It was completely harmless as we were both married, but there was an odd energy between us, an energy that pulled us together like a magnet. I was very aware of this energy and trying to avoid it as was he.

As I lay in bed next to him trying to sleep, he moved closer and grabbed my hand. He held it and the magnetism was indeed very strong. There was a distinct sadness to it along with a strong bond that I cannot describe. I snuggled in closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder. The energy was so strong that I began to struggle to breathe because I was holding my breath and pushing the feeling down.

The man turned toward me all at once and kissed me passionately. I felt as if my midsection would explode and the energy was so intense that it woke me up. I lay there wishing myself back into the dream and hearing my guide say, “Its okay”.

The energy was again stuck in my second chakra but it was not painful. It was exploding outward and I urged it upward. It did move up into my third chakra and then somewhat into my heart chakra but then it stopped. I felt the energy needed somewhere to go but I couldn’t get it to go anywhere. So it just stayed, built up within me.

I eventually laid on my side, hoping it would stop, but it didn’t. I finally pushed it down through my feet and it let up. I was able to go back to sleep after that.

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GAPS – Day 3

Just a quick look at yesterday. I will likely not post much more on the diet from now on since my family is settling into it pretty well now.

My daughter had her first tantrum over what she could eat. She came home from school and wanted Raisin Bran as a snack. My mother-in-law told her no and she commenced to her yelling, kicking, and “dying” routine. So mother-in-law called my husband who gave her permission to eat it (boo on him!). I came home just after, oblivious to the drama and saw her sitting with her new bowl of cereal. I immediately told her no and then I got the tantrum. I stuck firm and we went for a walk. Cereal forgotten and replaced with mother-daughter time. Score!

My son is doing much better. He still hates his probiotic and the cod liver oil (who could blame him?) but he is eating better and much happier. My mother-in-law watched him yesterday and all I got from her is, “I hate this diet. There are no snacks for the children”. When I explained there were snacks just not the kind they were use to and that they would get over it, she said, “Well get rid of all of it then so they can’t see it”. I explained that not all of it would be forever excluded from our diet. Why waste good food? We didn’t eat bad before. Mainly I just need to toss the Goldfish, sweets and cereal bars. I told her I would.

I made Fish Soup last night – a first ever for me. I thought “Nasty” when I heard the name but all the websites online said it is a big winner for families with kids. So I made it. This was the recipe I used:

Fish Soup – total time to prepare and cook was approximately 40 minutes

  • 6 cups chicken stock (homemade)
  • Several baby carrots cut up
  • Two stalks of celery, chopped
  • Three sprigs of fresh parsley, chopped
  • 1 white onion
  • 2 cloves of garlic, chopped
  • 1 small bok choy, chopped
  • 1 cluster of broccoli florets
  • 2 Swai filets, thawed
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Lemon if desired

Put all ingredients except the broccoli and Swai in a large pot. Bring to a boil and then turn down the heat and allow to simmer until carrots are tender. Add broccoli. Allow broccoli to cook until bright green (maybe 2 minutes). Add Swai whole to the pot. When the fish turns opaque and flakes then it is done (approximate 2-3 minutes).

Serve with lemon and more parsley if this suits your tastes.

This recipe was a huge hit. My husband said it was his favorite meal of the week (wow). My daughter didn’t like it much but she had a tummy ache during dinner.

Positive Change

As a family we have eaten a much greater variety of meats and veggies than is normal for the week and the week isn’t even done! In four days we have eaten – chicken, ground beef, ground lamb, bone broth, and fish. The fruits and veggies we have eaten is triple what we normally eat. We have eaten a dozen apples, 8 bananas, 4 pears, blue berries, bok choy, broccoli, kale, onion, garlic, parsley, carrots, celery, spinach, cucumber, beets, lemon, and ginger. I still have brussel sprouts and peppers I have not used yet.

If you are thinking of trying this diet, I will say that you will need to grocery shop more than is your norm. I have already taken two trips to the grocery store and am considering a third (fruit is low again). Also, if you think you are making enough for your family, double it. I made an entire crockpot of chicken soup and it lasted two days. I made an entire crockpot of meatball soup and it lasted ONE day. The night I made boiled meat patties there was one patty out of 10 that survived for leftovers. The fish soup was gone after one meal with only a tiny portion left which my husband took for lunch today. I never thought I would have to cook so much! Ha!

It can be done, though, and is not too bad since most of the meals are pretty easy to prepare. I have three small kids and was able to do it and I work part-time. I know I could do this if I worked full-time, though the grocery shopping would have been harder.

Overall I think this diet is a great way to get your eating habits in order. It has been a great learning experience for my entire family and my children did not die from lack of carbohydrates and sugar.

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This House is Haunted

After yesterday’s morning upset and some talk with friend online, I was reassured that this stage in my spiritual transformation is not uncommon and will pass as all stages and transitions do. Right now I need to focus on my life, the people I love and the purpose I came here to fulfill. The spiritual me and the physical me must stay in balance.

A friend of mine who is a veteran of the kundalini and the ascension process reminded me that we are both student and teacher in life, as we are also both spiritual and physical. She said to me:

The same must happen with Spiritual and physical– the two must become one, IN you. There is not two. There is, as the Vedantins say “One without a second”. As you ALREADY know, the Spiritual is being everything we perceive as physical. The idea, for me, and I suspect for us all is to let go the divide. To let what is happening with you (/me/us) in the dimensions happen right here in *this* dimension. To be the avenue, as it were, for the Spiritual to reach the ground level Earth-life.

It is becoming more and more clear to me that this physical experience I am choosing to participate in has so very much to do with the spiritual; that the two are one in the same. I don’t know exactly when this happened – maybe yesterday or last night or perhaps it has been on-going – but I am seeing things a little different every day. It is mostly occurring at night I believe, as last night I had yet again more interesting revelations.

They Don’t See Me

I had a very intense dream last night. In it, I was a waitress working at a restaurant and feeling very out of my element. I did a lot of cleaning and typical duties of a waitress. While cleaning I recalled seeing the door hinges were messed up. Whenever one would close the door the hinges would come loose. When I inspected them I found there were no hinges at all, just small nails. I had to reposition the nails every time but did it as that was my job. I remember also feeling unappreciated in my work and considered quitting, knowing I deserved better, but I stayed on anyway.

I became aware that the restaurant changed owners and was listening as the owner discussed physical layout changes with another waitress. I offered the help of my husband who I explained could do renovations, thinking he could fix the faulty doors. The owner nodded to me in recognition of what I said but then continued to talk to the other waitress about the changes as if he had not heard me. I again interjected saying that my husband could do it for much less than a contractor. This time the owner completely ignored me. I began to feel overwhelmed with emotion at this second rebuttal. I began thinking, “They don’t even see me. They don’t see me”. Then I started sobbing uncontrollably.

This House is Haunted

I awoke to real tears and my heart chakra pulling but not too badly. I soothed myself instantly without the aid of my guides. It was then that I heard a familiar song in my head: Dearly Departed by Shakey Graves. Being this was the third morning I awoke to this song, I took notice and instantly recognized the message.

The specific part of the song that I hear is, “You and I both know that the house is haunted. You and I both know that the ghost is of me”. Symbolically, a haunted house represents unfinished emotional business usually related to childhood, family members present and passed, or repressed memories and/or emotions. The fact that the house is haunted specifically relates to running from these things rather than confronting them resulting in a personal “haunting”. If these things are not dealt with then they can harass you much like a ghost harasses the residents of the house they haunt.

Doctor

I managed to fall back asleep quickly and fell into another dream. In this one I was at a university but I was a teacher with my own room. I don’t recall all of the details of the dream but I was helping some doctoral students with something and allowed two of them along with their professor to use my room to complete some business that needed tending to after hours. I remember watching as the professor wrote out checks and kept track of them on a ledger. I noticed that as each check was written it showed up as a debit in my personal checking account. This alarmed me and I told the professor about it as he left. Part of me did not want to pay for another person’s debts but another part did not care and was willing to let it slide.

The professor had gone and I had resigned myself to a loss in money when he returned and told me he would repay me. I then left with a young woman. We got into a push cart. It looked like something from out of the middle ages. As we lay in the cart I began to slip off and the woman got upset with me. I remember feeling like I had insulted her in some way. It was then that the professor, who I knew as “Doctor”, stopped the cart. That is when I awoke.

This is the second time that a doctor has been in my dreams. The first time was an OBE where a man I met actually told me he was a doctor. I do not need to be told anymore directly that there is a message here.

To see or go to a doctor in a dream suggests that spiritual and emotional healing is needed. It could also indicate physical issues and the need to go to a real life doctor.

Physical Issues

Aside from the myriad of emotional issues I carry with me, which I will not go into now, I have been having some minor physical issues lately. I have also been led to research some things regarding these issues and have my theories about what might be happening.

I will not/cannot assume these are all ascension symptoms, especially now that I am taking a break from the spiritual changes I was going through. Here are the issues I have at present:

  1. Vision changes, especially my left eye. I wear contacts and this week my vision has suffered. I believe it is a change in the shape of my eye rather than an increase in my prescription because I see fine out of my glasses. I plan to make an appointment with an eye doctor to remedy this but delay because I still have five pairs of contact lenses left from my old prescription.
  2. Severely dry skin. This has been slowly getting worse and worse. Recently I got a patch of eczema on my arm and that was when I began to research it. I bought some organic seaweed bath called Aalgo that I found while doing a Google search. Thankfully it has been working like a charm and within two treatments eradicated the small spot of eczema I had. I used it on my face, which has also been extremely dry, flaky, and acne prone. I have noticed marked improvement there as well. I highly recommend Aalgo to anyone suffering from skin issues.
  3. Achy legs and increase in spider veins. I have long dealt with bad circulation and gross spider veins. They have never been an issue other than making me hate to show my legs and really they are not that noticeable. But lately my legs have been aching in the morning and my right leg is looking much worse. I am considering going to a vein specialist to have them treated but upon comparing my legs to those who have gotten treatment I recognized I am overreacting. I did start taking niacin because it was recommended to help with circulation. It has been helping.
  4. Cold hands and feet. I have always had cold hands and feet. My lips will even turn purple sometimes! This has been throughout my entire life but has been much more prominent lately. A coworker years ago suggested I may have Raynaud’s but I am not sure about that and if I do then there is not much I can do about it. My mom has the same symptoms and so I assume it is hereditary. The cold feet are the worst and keep me from sleeping.
  5. Numbness in legs and hands. This only happens when I sleep. It wakes me up and I have to move my hand and/or leg to fix it so I can go back to sleep. I am not sleeping oddly or anything, they are just numb and tingly. I am usually sleeping on my back when my hands are tingly and it is normally my left hand. I am sleeping on my side when I have tingling/numbness in my legs. Usually it is only one leg and the one I am sleeping on. I would not think it a big deal except that is has been on-going for several months now.

I know I should just schedule a physical and get checked out. I was suppose to have my thyroid checked when I was pregnant because I was sweating profusely for no reason. I never had it done. I suspect it may be the problem now but then again none of the symptoms really match up to hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. It was mentioned to me that this break to focus upon the physical could be to get me to focus more on a healthy lifestyle. Now with this doctor theme in my dreams I am beginning to think it very well could be.