Tag Archives: insomnia

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OBE: What Did I Do Wrong?

Got almost no sleep last night. I made the mistake of checking the election progress and then was hit with an energy I can only describe as anticipatory. Who can sleep when they are feeling like that? It was like the energy of the entire US was filling up my chest area. My heart was literally buzzing and warm, my body full of energy. Ugh!

I have NEVER had trouble sleeping on election night.

At around 3am I just gave up. I sat propped up in my bed and started deep breathing. 4 count inhale, 4 count exhale. I tried to tell my body to relax, to sleep. I kept my mind on the counting. I asked my guidance to help me sleep.

The next thing I know I am in that space where I can exit my body.

OBE: What Did I DO Wrong?

The instant I knew I could exit, I did. Out of my body, clear and free, I flew downstairs. I mentally announced to the Universe my intent. I said, “What did I do wrong?” I’m not sure why I asked this question. It was not planned. The part of the question not stated was that I wanted to know where I messed up in life. It implies that I feel I have somehow gone off-track.

I saw my husband asleep in front of the TV. I went up to him and touched him to see if he would feel me. He moved a bit but didn’t wake.

I went out the back door, still intent on my question.

When I went through the door I was transported to another place. In front of me were two houses standing side-by-side. They resembled houses from a Dr. Seuss book. I flew inside one of the house’s windows. There were no rooms really. The space just opened up into stairs and ramps going up. I followed them through a very narrow passage for many floors and then exited out another window. Looking back the house looked to be balanced on a very tiny foundation. It was like the house was made of blocks from the game Jenga. Remove one and the whole thing would fall. Yet at the same time it was extremely stable.

For some reason I became very, very lucid all at once. It pulled me back toward my physical body where I lingered for a while. My heart was doing odd things and felt weird. I worried a little about it and knew I had to get fully back into my body to stabilize my heartrate. Once I did, I stayed in my body a bit but soon shifted OOB again. This time I exited straight out of my chest.

Once OOB I felt/Knew I should return to my body. Something wasn’t quite right. My heart wasn’t handling my exit well. I tried to get further away, knowing the closer I was the more my body would pull me back and the more I would notice the irregular heart rhythm, but felt it was ill advised. All I wanted was to be free of my body, but the answer was, “NO”. So, back I went.

Fear or Courage?

I had some odd dreams after that but woke frequently and didn’t get much sleep overall. The first thing I Knew upon waking was that part of the reason I am feeling so anticipatory about this election is because the results will be a big indicator of the future. Will the future path we choose as a nation be paved with fear or courage/strength? I, personally, am not afraid. I prefer to confront uncertainty and the unknown head-on. Unfortunately, many, many Americans are living, mostly unconsciously, in a perpetual fear-state. Decisions made out of fear lead to uncomfortable and often painful lessons. The very least of which results in a deep-seated feeling of dis-ease.

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Crazy Week!

I finally got sleep. Slept in until 8:30am. No OBEs, lots of dreams but not too much dream recall now. I am still tired. It will take another few days to make up all that lost sleep.

So this week has been a doozie! IDK what kind of strange astrological, geomagnetic or spiritual shifting has been going on but it has been really shaking up my world, that’s for sure!

I’ll just start at the beginning.

First, my husband left for Florida. He will likely be gone until the end of October, maybe longer. This has been planned for a while, so no surprise. The thing is, every time he makes this trip (about every six months) all kinds of crap happens. For example, one time the a/c decided to stop functioning the day after he left. Another time the refrigerator stopped cooling and all our milk went sour the day after he left. So, every time he leaves I get on the defensive, waiting for something to break or worse.

The day before he left our place of employment, where my husband is general manager, got infected with ransomware. The entire system down, it was quite stressful for my husband. The ransom was eventually paid ($750) but it took half the week to restore 90% of the files and even by Friday things were not 100%. As a result, most of my workweek was unproductive because I could not use QuickBooks or access files which is about 90% of my job. No big deal, right? Well, yes it is because I want the pay and I can’t get paid if I have no work to do!

On the day of his departure I was awakened early (of course!) because he hadn’t realized his flight left on Monday. So, day one of lost sleep and then an unproductive work day and lost hours. Really, though, not a biggie considering I had to take my middle child to the dentist for his second round of cavity filling (ugh). That evening I decided to go to a local running group social run. It was fun but exhausting. I over did it just a tad.

The next couple of days were uneventful except for the loss of sleep and some financial issues I won’t go into detail about. I think my inability to sleep was a combination of all the stress I was experiencing and additional “mommy duties” to my already packed schedule.

Thursday morning I had to wake early to take my daughter to choir before school. Again, no sleep, despite running speed intervals the night before. Right before leaving my daughter dropped an entire glass of orange juice on the kitchen floor. It busted, broken glass and juice all over the place. I had to clean it before we left, which, if you’ve ever cleaned up juice, takes multiple pass overs with the mop.

While I mopped, my middle child decided to go to the bus stop early. When I went to retrieve him he refused to come back to the house so we could go by car to the school. I had to almost drag him back to the house. Then, when we got into the car, it was ransacked. I had accidentally left it unlocked and someone had combed our neighborhood for unlocked cars, found ours and took everything out of the glove compartment and console looking for valuables. Thankfully, there was nothing of value inside but the incident left me feeling violated most of the day and a bit paranoid that someone would come back at a later date to check out the rest of our property.

Yeah, Thursday was a really fun day (eye roll).

At work I was somewhat productive because QuickBooks was restored using my computer rather than the network. I spent most of the day playing catch up. My mind was full of fog and I felt as if I was walking around in the dream most of the day. I kept zoning out and could feel the beginnings of panic when I would snap back to present reality. No fun. I also think I was super open psychically because when the lady I am helping (the one with cancer) came in I began to feel this really crazy panicked feeling in my stomach that made me want to vomit. I could not pinpoint where the feeling came from but when I finally got into the car to leave, it vanished. Thus, I think I was picking up on her physical state. Thankfully, I had to leave work early to meet my middle son at the bus stop, so I didn’t have to feel that sick feeling for long.

Something odd that happened at work – my teeth started hurting for no reason. It was like I had braces all over again! It had me really worried. My teeth only hurt when pressure was applied to them and they were all teeth on the left side of my mouth. The sensitivity was gone by the next day. Weirdness!

That evening I opted to go to a breast cancer benefit I had been invited to on Monday. It went well and I had a good time. It was the highlight of my day and I thought for sure I would sleep that night because I was given a bottle of wine at the event. Sadly, a glass of wine did nothing for my sleep. 😦

My Friday began at 4:50am. My daughter burst through my bedroom door, waking me up prematurely because she had misread the time and thought she was late for the bus. My son had let the dog out and I had to retrieve him (for the 3rd time this week!). Thankfully I returned to sleep and went OOB for the first time in months as a result. The experience helped and I had a pretty good day. My coworker (the one with cancer) did not come in and QuickBooks went down again so I left early.

This morning I discovered a warped spot on our wood floor near the kitchen. Just one piece extending from the bar. On the other side is the dishwasher, which I ran on Sunday. We rarely ever use it so I’m guessing there is a leak. The board is located in a high traffic area and it is warped enough to notice under foot. So, yay, another “issue” that my husband would normally fix right away (he has a plumbing background and put in the wood floor himself). I am fed up with this wood floor now, though, and want it replaced with tile that doesn’t warp. We have several spots now, spanning the entire downstairs – one under the fish aquarium whose filter overflowed, another covering half the dining room and part of the living room from when our upstairs tub faucet leaked, and now this new area. I say be gone with it already! lol

october wallpaper HD

October Dread

For a while now I’ve been receiving messages about October. I am dreading the coming of next month. I have no specific details to relay, just a sense that some crazy changes are coming. If it is anything like this week then I am screwed. It doesn’t help that I received a message a while back about October indicating I would have a “heart attack”. Now, I doubt it is literal, though it sure felt like it at the time I received the message. I suspect something will happen that will “give me a heart attack” – so something surprising or shocking. Of all the things that could cause such a reaction, I am hoping for the positive ones. Maybe I will come into lots of money? lol Or, most likely, some kind of Kundalini event since the K energy has been so active in me this year. I have no clue and won’t speculate beyond the above. I am too busy (and exhausted) anyway.

Dreams

When I did get sleep this week, I had odd and vivid dreams. Here are a few:

In one dream I was in bed with a man just waking in the morning. He began to initiate sex with me but my daughter was in the room with a video camera taking video (worried about someone knowing or getting caught). I got upset with her and tried to get her to leave. She wouldn’t leave and I couldn’t be with the man. I got very upset. The man reminded me of a guy online who sometimes pops up in my dreams. He is not attractive at all to me and kind gross’ me out. lol

In another dream I was interacting with a woman I know who I don’t like very much, but tolerate. She is very “simple” minded with very little common sense. She had made cookies and misinterpreted my facial expression. She said, “Just get out.” She was insulted and I explained to her that my facial expression was not in response to what she had said. She had made tiny, square cookies (letting trivial matters annoy me) and wanted me to try one. I tasted them (guilty indulgences) and they were not very sweet (second guessing something). I thought they would be better with frosting. I asked if they were gluten free and she said they were. She left and I sat with the cookies in the kitchen for a while. I remember the woman returning and telling me about the photo album calendar she was making (she does this every Christmas). She asked if I would pay $14.50 for my portion. I was told my photo was not in it much (only 3 times). I knew it was because I rarely participated in family things. My husband advised me to not buy it because I was not in it. The calendar was shaped like a hamburger (wholeness).

I went directly into another dream. In it I was traveling to Montana (spiritual journey). Within the dream was a story about “Indians” who were migrating to Montana. I remember seeing the path up through the Dakotas and talking to someone about the journey. The Indian man I was talking to was not Native but Hindu (reference to Kundalini). I remember him having really dark Indian skin tone and thick black hair.

Then there was a dream scene of a plate of food. The meat was not meat but a pile of dry dog food (battling fidelity issues in a relationship). It was surrounded by other human food and made to look “normal”. It woke me up. lol

 

 

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Sleep Deprivation and Chakra Activation

For the past two nights I have not slept well. My head is almost continually covered in the energy helmet it seems, which makes it hard to not notice it when trying to fall asleep. On top of this distraction, I also end up waking up in my dreams. You would think this a good thing but instead of just becoming lucid and continuing the dream, I recognized it is not a dream and fight ferociously against it. Sometimes I even argue with someone, one time saying, “I didn’t do that! This is not me!” When I wake the dream vanishes and I am left feeling strange, as if I had just been split into a million pieces of myself. It is not energy or vibrations that makes me feel this way either.

Another odd occurrence when I attempt sleep is that I had what I can only call a life track review. Though I do not remember the lives I reviewed the sensation was that I perused the entirety of my lives, as if flipping through the pages of a book. Interestingly, I recognized my husband in this process and when I “came back” to myself (I don’t think I had been sleeping) I had a pleasant knowingness that he, like me, was on this same path. I felt  increasingly spiritually connected to him, still do.

Chakra Activation

Yesterday, I laid in savasana during a brief period of alone time. The energy helmet was super noticeable and it stretched down the back of my neck and wrapped around my collarbone and lower neck as well. It felt wonderfully comforting. I was particularly curious about the energy collar I was wearing being it was only the second time I had noticed energy in my throat chakra. Also, I do not recall ever having experienced my top three chakras lit up with energy all at the same time. Quite impressive! I previously was told my top three chakras would be activated together and so this seems to be what is occurring.

Vibrations

Last night I awoke more times than I can count, if “awoke” is even the right word since I don’t think I actually had a full sleep cycle. One time I awoke angry and lashing out at my guides. I felt as if I had completely regressed from the previous weeks progress. When I woke again I felt “normal”.

After waking at 4:30am I felt fully awake but tried to sleep because I was completely exhausted. As I lay there I again became lucid as dreaming began but awareness would peak too much and break the cycle. Each time my body would feel to be shaking with intense, side-to-side, choppy vibrations and the energy helmet would be in full force.

Vision

I kept hearing all the colors of the chakras, out of order. One minute I would hear “Green” then I would hear, “Red”. Then “Blue”. And so on and so forth. I was reminded of the prism and how rainbows were created. I realized my energy body was lighting up in each of these colors, flashing like a flashlight. I wondered about this but only got confirmation that this was what was happening.

Then I had an intense vision that came on suddenly and whilst I was falling into the in-between. I heard “Elohim” and saw in bold, white, capital letters, “ONE”.

This was the final straw and I gave up on sleep and got out of bed.

I find it very difficult in this sleep-deprived state to find any remnant of the blissful, wonderful experience I had last week. It is quite a letdown but I recognize that this body is tired, thus impacting my connection.