Tag Archives: lucid dreams

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Long OBE This Morning

I asked and received. 🙂 

Woke around 5:30am and asked to go out of body. I couldn’t sleep, though, because I was thinking of an issue I discovered with my service record from a school I worked at in 2014-2015. They sent only part of it and I sent them an email requesting they look for the rest. My pay is determined by my service record and the years I worked. I worried the school may have recorded it wrong and I would have to prove I worked there and so I was considering looking for my W-2’s from that year. However, they are in a filing cabinet at my ex’s and he has said I can’t go inside the house when he isn’t there. So I was thinking of ways to bypass that to get to the filing cabinet when this OBE began.

I must have fallen into a dream without knowing it. My sons and I were going to my ex’s house. I don’t remember traveling there, though. Instead, I remember laying in my bed and seeing this as if imagining it. I noticed my vision was not turned on at this time and remembered something I told my son yesterday about how I use to look at pictures or paintings in OBE and then go into them and transport into a new world. With this thought a bubble of light with an image inside formed in front of my eyes. Through it I could see clear as day while around the bubble where I was currently at was like I was in my mind (no color, 2D). I peered into the bubble scene and the scene expanded quickly as if stretchy. My mind could push at the edges and feel the elasticity of it and push it outward. I watched through the bubble rather than going into it but the bubble expanded to the point that I was inside of it just on the edge.

The scene inside was of a beautiful, cloudless, sunny day at a pool. A young teen girl was walking by and glanced in my direction. I felt as if I was in the pool on an innertube and could feel the water gently lapping at the edges. I asked the girl, “Who are you? Do I know you?” She looked my way and her face was quizzical as if my question made no sense to her. I asked again but got no answer. I recall being fascinated at the clarity of the scene. I could see the boards of the deck, the pool items like towels and snorkels, masks, the trees in the background brilliantly green, and the blue sky seeming to stretch forever. I stayed there watching in wonder until I heard my son call to me about the files he had gotten for me out of the filing cabinet. I could see the files in my mind and they were not the correct ones.

My attention went to the grayish, 2D area of my mind were I found myself suddenly falling into water. I saw my phone fly up into the air and fall into the water. I had no body or form yet I panicked as if I did, flailing about for my phone which, unusually, was floating in the water. I grabbed it and let my son know we needed to get inside to dry it off. 

With that thought I was transported inside my ex’s bedroom but the layout was backwards. I recall the ceiling fan above the most vividly. I still had no form and with my mind I flew around the house. As I did, I observed how I felt and how the space felt. I had no emotional attachment whatsoever and did not feel comfortable because I was in someone else’s space, a space I knew I shouldn’t be in. I went to the filing cabinet but didn’t stay there. I settled somewhere downstairs and ended up on a bed. I don’t recall all my thoughts but I think I was sorting through the past – places, events, people. 

Suddenly, I hear a woman’s voice. She is looking for her son and she pops her head into the bedroom. I try to hide because I am not suppose to be in the house, but she doesn’t seem to care. My vision is no longer 2D but vivid 3D again and I recognize I am in my old bedroom at my mom’s house. Not caring how I got there, I listen to the woman say thank you to my mom for watching her son. The woman has blonde hair and is about my age and I hear her go into the other room and retrieve her son. I know now that I was witnessing a memory of a very long time ago when my mom must have watched a young boy who use to come and play with us. His mom was in school to be a nurse and having a difficult time so my grandmother let her live there for free and provided free childcare. My siblings and I use to play with him.

I left the bedroom and walked into the kitchen. I felt solid but I don’t think I had a form. A man came in. He was tall and dressed in a coat and was wearing work boots. I greeted him by name, “Hi (insert name)!” He looked at me and asked, “Why did you bring me here?” I saw a man I knew was his son behind him, though he was out of focus. I don’t remember answering him but I felt super excited that he was there with me. I looked behind me through the double glass doors at a man walking up to the door. I said, “Look, the neighbor (insert name I don’t recall) is here, too! But oh there is a big bear following him!” I saw a large, black bear walking behind the man but instead of causing any harm, the bear was gentle and joined the man alongside some dogs when the man turned around to pet the bear. 

When I turned back around everyone was gone and the kitchen lights had gone low and my vision returned to grayish 2D.

I decided to fly out the door after a bit because it was no fun inside a grayish, uninhabited box of a house. 

Outside my vision stayed grayish and limited. I was flying (still no body) and feeling the ground as I flew along, noting the bumps and valleys and not really knowing what they were. Then I was was pulled upward at lightening speed and as I was, I was telling myself, “I’m not afraid” or something like that and purposefully focused on regaining my sight, which came on with full vibrance instantly. It distinctly felt as if brilliant light was burning a hole through my eyelids. It didn’t hurt and was familiar. I had felt it recently during a healing OBE in my bedroom when I was still living at the family home. It feels like a jolt of energy to my eye area that seems to force “open” my eyes but with the distinct sensation of my eyes remaining closed. Imagine light so bright it shoots out of the eyes like laser beams.

The scene I saw was dreary. The sky was gray and the wind was howling and blowing as if there was a storm but there was no rain. I could see bare limbed treetops that appeared dead. My vision was 360 degrees all around and it felt as if my energy body, which I distinctly felt was still a sphere, was spinning wildly. I didn’t like what I was seeing and said aloud, “I want to see something else” while envisioning the opposite of the dreary oppressed scene I was seeing. Instantly the scene was filled with light, the “wind” died down and I could see a space inundated with light and a kind of fog that didn’t have shape or form. I only call it fog because I don’t know what else to call it. It was like I had on glasses that were fogged and so lessened the brilliance of the light. I felt myself transported once again and tried with all my might to maintain my vision but slowly lost it.

I felt myself come to rest on a solid surface. Before I had a chance to get my bearings I heard my son and also saw him from above as he approached me. I could see myself laying on the concrete by the side of the pool. I had on a coat but wore nothing from the waist down and my bare butt was showing. My son said, “We need to go now….” He paused after seeing my state and said, “Never mind. Keep doing whatever your doing…”. While this happened I was also experiencing myself in a body by the pool. I could feel the cold concrete below me and I felt my energy beginning to destabilize. I began to cry. I experienced many emotions but it was the realization that I had to go back that upset me the most. I didn’t want to. 

I slowly came back to my body. I could’ve returned to astral but opted not to. 

When I woke I thought/heard, “It doesn’t matter”. This was regarding my concern about the service record but also most of the things that go through my mind in waking reality. I asked, “Why am I here then?” I heard back, “To observe.” There was more with the answer, like a flood of Knowing that cannot be put into words.

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Mugwort Tea and 2 OBEs

I’ve been drinking mugwort tea before tea for about four days. I haven’t noticed a difference in my dream recall but I did have a couple of OBEs in one night, which is unusual. Unfortunately, it has not helped me sleep through the night. I am still waking around 1-3am and then struggling to return to sleep.

The third night of tea I had a dream where I was having flashbacks to what appeared to be another person’s life. I don’t remember them now but I remember I began to sob. I then turned to another person near me and told them it was grief. I woke up and couldn’t return to sleep for an hour.

When I woke up it was around 3am. I immediately began to think of the future and found it difficult to see anything positive in it. I got up to take something to help me sleep and saw it was nearly 4am. So I opted to try to sleep without anything. My mind was still keeping me awake and eventually I got to a point where I said to my guidance, “I just want out”. When I said this, I felt myself giving up or maybe letting go of this life, all the issues in it, etc. When I did this, my mind instantly went blank, my body relaxed and I felt as if I was sinking into the bed.

OBE #1

Before I knew it I was aware of being in the in-between, right at the point where I could exit my body. Though not fully sure I was correct in this, I rolled out of my body and stood up but the sensation of my body indicated an incomplete circuit, meaning the energy was not fully present to hold that state. I returned to my body and lingered for a while. I remember the other space felt so real because of how solid it felt. 

I tried again and stood up. This time my energy was stable and my vision and all senses turned on with full clarity. I was in my mom’s living room. It was so solid I wondered if I was correct in being OOB but I didn’t have time to contemplate it further. My dog came up to me excitedly asking to go outside. I took him to the door and my mom’s other dog (deceased) joined us. There was no doubt I was dreaming then. I opened the door and walked outside. My mom’s dog shot by me and I slowly followed. It was early morning. The sun was bright and reflecting off the morning dew. I stopped, realizing my dog was not with me. I turned around and saw him attempting to poop right by the front door. I recognized I was being called back to observe, so I did for a moment. He was straining but no poop came so he eventually ran past me to joint the other dog. 

I walked down the porch steps and stood outside looking all around. The ground was moist as if it had rained in the night. I decided to try to fly, so I launched myself up, jumping high, and came back down quickly. Instead of landing I went down into the ground. The ground wasn’t solid! I was below ground level momentarily and then shot up, laughing aloud at the unexpectedness of it. 

I lingered for a moment unsure of what to do. I began to fly, hovering around 8 feet off the ground. I felt a tinge of worry about being sucked up into the sky and had the idea to fly up to test my courage. I was immediately pulled up at lightening speed. I usually lose vision, and I did for a short time, but intentionally opened my eyes to find myself in a fog of clouds and stars. I was surprised I didn’t lose awareness. Unfortunately, my surprise pulled me back into my body.

I woke but did not open my eyes. I switched positions because my hands were numb and tingly, then relaxed. I felt as if I was sinking into the bed again. I welcomed the feeling.

OBE #2

I was in my mom’s house again, laying on the sofa. I wanted to sleep but the noises around me were keeping me awake. My kids were running about as if they were little again. I could hear a child crying. I remember thinking I was glad my children weren’t that age anymore. Then my daughter grabbed me by the shoulders (it was very physically real), shook me hard and tried to force me to sit up. I resisted and told her to stop because I wanted to sleep. She did but urged me to get up and I relaxed back into the sofa wanting only to sleep, but I realized I was OOB, so I got up and explored the space.

There was a little girl about 2 years old running around. She had brown hair, chubby cheeks and bright eyes. I lifted up into the air, aware that I was a ball of light, and hovered over her as she ran. She squealed in delight. I lost interest and went through the front door into the yard. It was dark outside and people in cars driving down the driveway. Others were walking towards me. It looked like they were parking to go to a nearby event. They did not have permission to be there. So, I went about and began telling them to leave, that it was private property, etc. One man was belligerent and I told him I would “shoot his head off” if he didn’t leave (I didn’t have a gun). He laughed it off and asked me why I didn’t just come to the event with them. I said I was happy where I was but I remember questioning my answer as if I knew my answer was revelatory. I watched as they left and followed them, curious to see where this party was. When I got to the end of the driveway I began to lose energy. It felt like my energy was being slowly sucked downward. Eventually I was sucked down with it. 

When I came back into my body my heart was beating fast and I felt off. I have had this upon reentry before. It is uncomfortable. I rolled over, knowing I could return, but I decided not to. 

I had a conversation with my ex in the in-between. I was giving him advice about his mother telling him he will have to make important decisions for her soon and that he should ask her what she wants beforehand. I also told him he needs to let her make as many of the decisions as possible. I ended with, “I don’t want her to suffer” and came out of my reverie in tears. 

Reflection

I am surprised at how easy it was to go OOB when it has not been so for a very long time. Was it is the mugwort tea? Or was it just my request in saying, “I just want out” and my guidance assisting me during a difficult moment? Prior to bed I had asked for healing because I had a terrible headache that wouldn’t go away. I felt an instant soothing energy on my head. I also did self-healing and felt two assistants over me during that time. And earlier that day I had been feeling down on my walk and right as I had a thought about giving up I spotted a large, silver cross pendant on the sidewalk in front of me.

The OBEs themselves don’t really feel significant. The first one seems to have been a show of courage on my part. The second, especially the part where I was asked to join the party, seems to have been asking me to consider that maybe I am choosing to stay in one place rather than approach life with curiosity.

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Lucid Dream: Releasing Burdens

The week has been mostly uneventful. I had some reminders from the Universe, specifically the number 222 and 444. I took a picture of the 222 as a reminder. The 444 came on a day when I was feeling a bit down in general. Turns out 444 is about protection, guidance and alignment on one’s path. 222 is about balance, collaboration, love, partnerships and harmony. 222 carries significance regarding twin flames.

On Friday, while attending my son’s choir concert, I accidentally dropped my phone. When I picked it up there was a picture that looked like a fire full of Spirits. Pretty wild!

Dream: Child Spy

I was in a dark theater type space. A big screen was in front with nothing on it. A man was speaking to the group. I only remember myself and a woman with a small child and a man. I don’t recall what the man was talking to the group about, only that I had my computer and linked it to the screen so that my screen was projecting to the group. I remember seeing my home page on the big screen.

As the man finished up and the group began to leave, the woman got up holding the child in her arms. I think she mentioned to the man that the child had a condition. She said he was a spy. I spoke up, saying that being a spy wasn’t a condition I’d ever heard of. I then mentioned that the man had been talking about cardiovascular conditions but I lost interest and started to fall asleep during the lecture. 

I disconnected my computer, put it in its case and got up to leave. I exited the dark theater via double glass doors. Outside it was also dark. I began to walk and soon found myself walking along an unfamiliar street. Very few cars were out and I saw the man and woman in front of me (no child). The man had a police badge on his belt and was wearing a uniform that was navy with a large, black stripe down one side. He also had a hat and a whistle. I thought he looked foreign and watched as the woman crossed the street. The man followed. Since I had no idea where I was or where I was going, I followed the man. 

When I got to the other side of the road I walked randomly towards a large intersection. I remember thinking to myself that I needed to get home but I had no idea where I was or how to get there. The intersection was confusing. There were arrows painted on the asphalt. Those closest to me went to the right but I saw several other lanes going random directions beyond it. I tried to open navigator in my phone but couldn’t get a good signal and I was already in motion, my body lifting up as if carried by an unseen wind.

I flew/drove quite quickly over the road and tried to follow the arrows on the road. The road went straight and cars were coming towards me. I worried I was going the wrong way but as soon as I thought that, cars passed by me going the same direction as me. The headlights were bright but I was able to see enough to not get discombobulated. A map popped up in my mind more than once, showing a route marked in red heading to my destination. I couldn’t see the destination but the route was going to take a long time and kept rerouting so it was hard to tell what was going on. I finally thought to myself, “I don’t care anymore. I know I will get there.” When I had this thought the road and the scene vanished.

Lucid Dream: Releasing Burdens

I found myself walking along a dirt road in the country. Again, I had no idea where I was. With me was the man and woman from the previous dream. I had in my hand my computer case and a small lunch bag. It felt heavy and burdensome so I asked the woman, “Can you carry this for me?” I held up my computer and lunch box and she took them, one in each hand. Relieved, I continued to follow them up the road. The road had grass growing up in the middle with two distinct lanes for the tires. Along the sides were tall trees that towered overhead.

The man and woman were walking too fast for me to keep up with them. I was weary and no matter how fast I walked, the man and woman kept getting farther away. At one point I lost sight of them. I had the thought that I could catch up and not to worry.

The road stopped at an old building. It was run down and multiple stories high. I don’t know what it was, maybe a silo or grain station of some kind. I walked/flew inside and came to an opening. Some rusty bars were positioned like railing. I put my hands on the railing and thought, “I’m dreaming. This is a dream.” The railing felt cool under my hands. I put my head through the opening between the rails and looked down. I was very high up and below was water. It was aqua in color and clear, swirling like a hot tub. I considered what to do and knew I wanted to follow the dream. I had a small bit of elation at knowing I had lucidity but opted to ignore it so as to not lose the dream scene.

With a tiny bit of trepidation, I jumped. I plunged feet first into the swirling water. I kept my vision as I went under and could see the rocky shore clearly through the water. I didn’t linger long and flew up and out of the water quickly. I landed on the shore which was covered in a soft, green foliage. Across from me I could see a raging river. There, on a small island in the river, I saw the man and woman. They were surrounded by men in black pointing guns at them. 

I considered my options. Should I fly over? I felt that it was not wise for some reason. I decided I would just walk across the water. I set the intention and began to move but was pulled immediately into wakefulness. Slowly I became aware of my sleeping body. Awareness came as energy sensations in my arms, legs and chest.

Interpretation

The first dream seems to have been a reflection of my thoughts prior to falling asleep. The man and woman with the child, were they symbolic of my considerations of a possible child being born? The child being a spy could be that I am seeking information as that is what spies do. The computer is also data or knowledge. I have it projected on the screen and a man is lecturing, so I am seeking info but cannot recall what is received other than something about cardiovascular conditions, which likely symbolizes the heart needing healing. Then I am disoriented and don’t know where I am or how to get home. This is similar to how I feel in life. I feel aimless most of the time and am just taking a path because it opens up to me not because I have a sense of the path I should take. The thought at the end about knowing I will get home reflects my current waking reality, too. I am just trusting I will get where I am meant to be.

The lucid dream is interesting because I give up my data seeking (computer) and also my considerations about my future needs (lunch box). Then I lose sight of the man and woman but I don’t fret about it, again reflecting my decision in waking life to just go with the flow knowing I will be provided with what I need along the way. The dirt road is a path not traveled often, maybe even a new path in this life. 

When I become lucid I recognize that I am meant to remain in the dream and let it show me what it is meant to show me. I try to go with the dream, jumping into the water (swirling but clear emotion). The man and woman at gunpoint indicates feelings of coercion and loss of control. This is also a feeling I have in waking life. I take pause and make a decision but it must not be how the dream was meant to go because I am pulled back to my body. 

I fall back to sleep after and do not become lucid in the dream. I only remember one part which was of me creating a calendar with an image on it of mountains and a path over them. The colors were red and green, so likely December. I then glued it to a pane of glass so that the image could be seen through it. 

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Lucid Dreaming Course Notes

Last week I started a lucid dreaming course. Normally I wouldn’t bother but the course kept coming up and I figured, “Why not? Maybe I will learn something new? If anything it will be a good reminder.”

The following are points that apply to me. There is much more content, of course, but these are the most applicable to my current situation.

1. It is not recommended to attempt lucid dreaming if you are depressed or frequently experience moments in waking reality that seem dream-like. 

2. Older people tend to have less emotional energy and therefore have to work harder to lucid dream. He gave an example of how senior citizens don’t see the point and struggle to find motivation to even try while young people are excited to try. He suggested that older people try to get more positive and focus on maintaining positive, higher energy to take with them into dreamtime.

3. You need a goal when you dream. Going into a lucid dream without a goal is not enough to sustain it.

With number 1, I am definitely depressed, and this fits into my realization that the reason I’m not having experiences (OBEs, lucid dreams, Kundalini, anything at all) is because I am so disinterested in life and pretty much everything. Lack of interest in the waking world has seeped into all other areas. Long ago I decided I didn’t care about dreams anymore and no longer paid attention to them. My husband also told me that “no one cares about my dreams” and he doesn’t understand why I spend so much time writing about them in my blog (ugh).

I got into the habit of waking, recalling the dream and thinking, “It doesn’t matter” and going back to sleep. Of course I then forget the dream. Sometimes I will still remember, but not usually. And it is frequent that I look around me and think of waking reality as unreal and dreamlike. I don’t hallucinate or have any confusing experiences but the dreamlike quality of life is real to me. However, I’ve always been this way and it did not pose a problem in the past except maybe at one point I had to deliberately stop going OOB because I was having confusing waking experiences.

With number 2, now that I am in my 40s I have noticed that my sleep cycle has changed. I sleep much more deeply and when I wake up in the night the heavy feeling and grogginess pulls me quickly back into sleep. Even when I do have slight awareness in dreams I end up feeling so very heavy that I actually choose to return to that oblivion rather than take advantage of the awareness and lucid dream. So, if this translates to emotional energy level, then I can relate. 

For number 3, I frequently run into the issue of having no goal or direction. I enter a lucid dream or OBE and have no idea of what to do. I feel like I’ve done it all and when I ask to be shown things, I get nowhere. So, I go explore and end up finding restrictions such as windows I can’t go through, solid walls and objects, and find places/environments that really don’t interest me. It feels like physical waking reality and since I’m not interested in that then it translates to no interest in astral or lucid states.

Creating a Dreamsign

In the course, one assignment was to find a dreamsign to use to help bring lucidity in a dream. The sign should make you pause and think in a dream, thus bringing on lucidity. It took me no time to figure out what mine was – a cat. Not only do I not like them but when I see them I am immediately curious as to why they are there. Sometimes there is a group of them chasing me or at other times they are bedraggled and sickly. No matter what I always wake up with memory of them.

I didn’t think much when I set the intention before bed. I said that I would see an orange cat and wake up in the dream (I used the wrong words and this is important). Well, the first dream I had there was an orange cat. I remember thinking, “A cat!” and then I woke up immediately and with a start. lol

So, the wording is important and in this case it caused me to wake up. I should’ve said, “When I see a cat it will bring increased awareness” or “When I see a cat I will know I’m dreaming”. Sigh.

I’m pretty sure another one of my dreamsigns is that I receive a message, either written or spoken, in a dream. I have worked hard to remain in the dream to receive the full message. In the past it would wake me immediately.

It is frustrating to me that I either wake up too fast or choose to sink deeper into unconsciousness. This is a clue to what is happening in my waking reality. When I’ve looked more closely at why this is, I realize that it all started around 2018 as the result of two unpleasant experiences related to the Kundalini. Both I’ve written about in this blog. One is the heart connection and the other is a subsequent connection that involved the lower four chakras and had no heart chakra involvement. The second experience was similarly upsetting and disappointing but did not devastate me like the first.

If I look even closer I realize that these experiences caused me to feel betrayed by my HS, the Universe, All That Is. It made me feel like a pawn. I was played. I don’t like feeling like a fool, and that is exactly how I felt after these experiences. And to my betrayed mind, because both were preceded by dream encounters, I opted to dull that part of myself so as to not get fooled again. I also consciously asked for my heart to close where it had once been open. I figured if my heart isn’t open then it can’t be decimated.

My early spiritual experiences came easily because I had no biases, beliefs or previous experiences. I was a blank canvas, naïve and open to anything new and exciting. Often my guidance would show me this in OBEs. For example, one time I ran naked towards a familiar guide and he took a white, circular table cloth and covered my nakedness. This came with a warning that it wasn’t wise to be so open. Nakedness = vulnerability. He was, of course, correct, and I got burned.  

So far the course has been helpful in that it has shown me why I am having an extended dry spell. Still, I don’t have high hopes that much will change. I am keeping a written dream journal by my bed and forcing myself to write notes so that I recall more. I am setting intentions and following the suggestions in the course. If anything, it is a good reminder and gives me something to do. 

Here is a link to the course I am taking if you are interested.

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Wish I Could be Part of that World

Finally good sleep! And lucid experiences!

Dream: Tiny House

I was visiting this place that had a bunch of tiny houses together on one lot. The houses were two small  bedrooms linked by a bathroom (may be symbolic of marriage). Inside they had high ceilings and antique furniture (the past). The entire place smelled old to me. In my room there was a double bed with an antique hutch. Inside the drawers were all kinds of things from the past, most women’s earrings (love and relationships). I picked up a pair that was colorful, dangly and heavy and thought, “These must be from the 70’s”. 

The door (opportunity) into and between the rooms got stuck and I somehow broke it trying to open/close it. There was a woman there who reminded me of German Hilda type – broad shoulders, square jaw, tall and somewhat intimidating. She was in charge of the tiny house and came in to fix the door. She called in another woman and they worked together to fix it while I wandered outside. Outside there were city streets reminiscent of somewhere in Europe. There was a building that reminded me of a museum (reflecting on the past) with a path that went back into a heavily treed park. I walked down it looking around at all the greenery and space, curious about the museum which looked like it was also a research facility of some kind. Right before I woke up I think I ran into a man but can’t quite remember. 

Dream: Detective Visit

I heard a knock at the door (I was at my Mom’s house). When I opened it I saw a man who I instantly recognized. I called him, “Detective” (new beginnings, justice) and asked him why he was there. He said, “Sorry, but it looks like I’m going to have to get your statement/report. They are going to move forward with the investigation.” I asked, “Why? It doesn’t make any sense.” There was memory of past events. Apparently I upset a female classmate and she was pressing charges. The extent of the upset I never remembered but it felt like she was throwing a tantrum and trying to get attention. Exasperated, because the ordeal had been on-going for some time, I asked the detective, “Is there anyway to make this go away? Do you think she will accept a settlement? I could just pay her $50k and apologize.” I went on to say, “I wasn’t even in contact with her from April through June.” I saw a calendar in my mind and knew I was attending classes the entire time. I then said, “I don’t even have to stay in school. I already have a degree.” I thought some and then said, “I have a Master’s degree already.” The detective, a handsome blonde man (almost too handsome IMO) about 6 feet tall, gave me a look and sighed. It appeared he didn’t seem to think it was a good idea. 

Series of Lucid Events

I woke from the dream feeling really, really groggy. I happily returned to sleep, asking to go OOB or be lucid. It has been so long and I miss it.

Almost instantly I was lucid, feeling the heavy energy of my astral body sitting superimposed over my physical body. I could perceive both my physical environment and the astral one. I knew I needed to move OOB and so attempted to but it seemed every time I tried, something in the physical would distract me. There were noises off as usual but also physical sensations of the body like the heaviness of my blanket, the feeling of the bed beneath me, my arm going numb, etc. 

The scenes I found myself in varied. Mostly it was dark and I only had my other senses, vision being turned off for some reason. When I did see it was as if in a dream. I was lucid but confused and not actively controlling the dream. 

For example, at one point I was trying to relax so I could go OOB and found myself kneeling next to the piano bench. It was topped with my boys’ freshly washed clothing. One son was there picking up his clothes and asking me questions, distracting me. I could see the piano and the bench but not him. The sensations were the most memorable. The heavy feeling was wonderful and I fell backwards into it, hoping to pop OOB. Instead, I just landed on my bed (I was already OOB but didn’t realize it). 

In another instance I was in front of a man I thought I recognized as a past boyfriend. I could see his face clearly but it was younger than I recall and the features that use to distract me about him were softened and so he was pleasant to look at. I thought, “I really want to kiss him now!” Then confusion hit me. I couldn’t recall my life, specifically asking myself, “Who did I marry?” lol I had no idea. My memory was blank. 

Then I was standing in front of two men still trying to recall who I married. I thought the one on the left was the boyfriend from before but the more I looked at him the more I realized he wasn’t. I looked at the man on the right and had no idea who he was. Looking back and forth I was concerned because I couldn’t remember ANYTHING. The man on the left called in two other men who seemed like his strongmen or bodyguards. I instantly thought to myself that he was trying to influence my decision and scare away his competition. I didn’t care because I still didn’t know who I was or who I married.

The confusion brought me back to body awareness and the scene vanished. Feeling calmer I went back to focusing on going OOB. Again, I decided to fall backward. This time, after a short distance where I floated like a feather, I landed on grass. I could feel the cool blades of it poking my back. I laughed to myself and enjoyed the sensation of it. Still, though, I didn’t realize I was OOB and attempted to leave my body without success. 

When I finally came back to body awareness the floaty feeling remained with me. Part of a song came to mind: “Wandering free, wish I could be, part of their world”. 

I immediately told my guidance, “Thank you.” Then I said, “But I wanted to go OOB.” I heard back, “You still need to heal.” I said, “Going out of body is healing!” I got no reply to that. I’m not sure why healing is a reason not to be lucid or go OOB. Still trying to figure that one out. 

The song continued and I agree – Wish I could be, part of that world (astral world that is).

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Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

Prior to bed last night I was thinking about something the teacher said in my Rave ABC class about Reflectors and some Projectors (those like me whose split charts have no centers defined). She said that their experience of life is surprise. Nothing turns out as expected, so they are always surprised by what life brings them. I thought to myself, “Not me. My inner voice tells me what is going to happen!” As normal, I got a reply to my thought. It asked, “Do you know what is going to happen now?” I thought about how all of this Knowing seemed to have gone silent recently and said, “No. I don’t know and that’s okay.” 

My mind wandered to our recent RV purchase. We tried it out this weekend because my husband couldn’t wait to use it. We stayed at my mom’s without hookups on a very cold night and it was not very enjoyable. The next day we went to the lake, which was much better, though I was very tired and developed a headache.

An internal dialogue commenced about the RV – Was it a good idea? What will become of it? Will it be used as I intended or will my husband take it over? 

I got an inquiry from within, as if saying, “Do you want to know?” I answered that I didn’t care and would accept the outcome regardless. I laughed at my reply because the HD Analyst had told me my life experience was a continual not-Knowing followed by moments of clarity/Knowing only to return to not-Knowing. 

I slept amazingly well last night and had an unexpected lucid moment and opportunity to go OOB.  

Lucid Dream: Meeting Klaus

I don’t know what was happening before I became lucid. I just became lucid all of a sudden.

Standing in front of me was a tall, thin man with blonde hair, blonde stubble on his face, and blue eyes. He seemed friendly and familiar. It felt like he had called me there because when he approached he had something to tell me. I decided to ask him, “What’s your name?” He said something like, “Tiff” (it started with a T) and I said, “Okay.” I remember being very pleased with myself for remembering to ask him his name. He then invited me to go with him. I assumed he meant traveling OOB as I was quite lucid and knew I was in the perfect state to do so. I said, “Sorry, I’m just too tired.” 

Accepting my answer he told me, “You have 433 [days] left.” When he said this, though, I was anticipating what he was saying and was thinking, “Hours, minutes, days, months….” I don’t know if he actually said “days”, it could have been me deciding that was what he meant. I also thought he was indicating how much time I had left to live, but afterward doubted this and decided it was more like a countdown to some event or life change. Regardless, I didn’t overthink the message, knowing that all too often I get cryptic messages from random people or guides while lucid. 433 days from now is March 27, 2023.

More lucid than I was before, I suddenly knew who the man was and asked him, “Wait, I know who you are. We’ve met several times. You’re Klaus!” He smiled and replied with, “Yes. We have met before and will meet again.” I asked, ” Why did you give me a different name?” I then remembered/heard, “We have many names”, and repeated that to him. He said, “Yes, We do.”

He had a distinct German or Nordic accent and I realized when I said “Klaus” that I said it with a similar accent. 

I hugged him and reached up to kiss him. In that moment I was really happy that I was getting to see him again and felt a connection to him. I wanted to initiate an energetic merge, but he pulled away and said something like “Not now” or “This isn’t the time for that”. His words were more of a telepathic feeling. I didn’t feel upset at the “rejection” but accepted that he was not there for that purpose. 

More was said but my lucidity dropped quickly and I moved into a dream scene.

Dream: Mongoose-Eating Cats

In this dream I continued to talk to Klaus as the dream story unfolded.

I was traveling along the road leading to my mom’s house, a road I am very familiar with in this life as I have traveled it numerous time. In fact, I was just on it Sunday. My mode of travel was flying. I moved fast, hovering as if a ball of energy. The sensation of it was very much familiar and I enjoyed moving in this way.

I saw debris littering various portions of the road. There were rectangular boxes full of supplies that had spilled out onto the road. I didn’t look close, preferring to look ahead. I saw a red car on the corner. It’s front end up crumpled up as if it had hit something very hard. I looked inside but no one was there. I couldn’t find what the car hit and briefly wondered what happened.

Another car pulled up and a man and a woman were inside. One was holding a piece of paper in his hands and I knew they were the occupants of the wrecked car. I decided to leave and fly towards my mom’s house.

Along the way I saw more debris. It looked like someone had just dumped their living room furniture in the middle of the road. Traffic was coming towards me and I decided to flash my headlights (I wasn’t in a car so not sure how I did this). None noticed and I figured they would be forced to slow to avoid the debris. One vehicle, a small bulldozer, did slow. I remember telling it to be careful. I recall seeing a set of empty book shelves standing in the road.

When I got to my mom’s house it looked different. It was more like a greenhouse than a house, with glass panels covering all sides and the roof. Inside were many house cats and another woman, my mom I think.

There were also these little ferret-looking creatures that were very playful and active. Many of these creatures had babies and I picked them up and cuddled with them. My mom showed one of her cats a baby and the cat hissed and tried to bite it. We decided to keep the cats away.

I went into the main house. Inside was no furniture and a very spacious layout. Where furniture should’ve been were potted plants placed strategically in a grid pattern on the carpet. There were more cats inside as I walked through looking at all the greenery. 

When I went back outside I saw the baby ferret creatures were playing near the front entrance where they entered through a cat door. A cat lounged nearby, barely noticing them. I asked my mom about the danger, suddenly recalling the name of the animals: Mongoose. She said the cats wouldn’t hurt the them.

Then I noticed tiny, white feet with no bodies littering the area. They looked like cat feet but I saw them as baby mongoose feet. I imagined the cat eating everything but the feet. I was horrified and grabbed a cat sleeping nearby and pushed it out the window. Then I saw where the kill must have happened, a wet area of concrete, and pointed it out to my mom. Just as I did this, a sprinkler located in the ground turned on and sprayed me hard in the face. My mom laughed. I woke up. 

When I woke up, the first thing on my mind was that the wet spot in the concrete was not a kill site at all but a sign that water was present. I thought, “I should’ve known that would happen.”

Dream Interpretation

It seems like the wreck and furniture along the road to my mom’s house is symbolic of some “impact” that results in an emptying of the contents of the home (life path/journey). In this case the contents appear to be tools (life strategy) and empty bookshelves (place to hold knowledge). The home has a greenhouse (place of growth) and is full of cats (divine feminine, feminine sexuality). The baby mongoose (playful, mischievous tendencies) is eaten by the cat (feminine sexuality). The inside of the house is empty except for plants (strategic growth). This aligns with the furniture on the road.

The dream in its entirety feels like I am being shown a future potentiality, though I don’t really know what to make of it. My mom’s house has transformed in the dream to a place of growth, full of cats and mongoose. This could indicate the two become one, in that the cat consumes/integrates the mongoose. My “mom” may be a wiser version of me, or could be my actual mom. My best guess is mom = my wiser or higher self. 

Whatever the dream indicates will happen it is certain that it will be a shock or surprise, one that pulls me out of my seriousness and catches my attention. This is indicated at the end of the dream where I am caught off-guard by a sprinkler spraying me in the face.

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Spirit Visits, Lucid Dreams, Remote Viewing and Kundalini

I’ve been having some unusual experiences, incidents that I haven’t had in many, many years. It’s as if my spiritual abilities, seemingly dormant for years, are waking up again.

For example, I’ve had Spirit visit me quite a bit this week. First, my husband’s ex boss told me, “I love you” out of the blue and soon after I dreamed of his wife, also deceased. Then a coworker’s family member in Spirit visited me and let me know she was assisting his recently deceased grandmother. I knew she was the deceased’s daughter (his aunt). She wanted me to tell him, to bring it up and ease his mind, and I replied back, “What do you want me to do? Just go up to him and say, ‘By the way, I talk to dead people and your grandmother’s daughter is assisting her?’ LOL I think that was the day of the funeral, too.

There have been other weird things. Just two nights ago I was checking on my son and I heard, quite clearly, my husband’s voice saying something he often says when playing with our boys. The thing is, he is in California on business. It was midnight and no one was awake but I did check to make sure a video wasn’t playing somewhere. Nothing. It freaked me out. My husband is traveling in very snowy conditions so at first I worried he was in trouble. Eventually, though, I concluded I had picked up on a “imprint”. An imprint is like a “stamp” on the environment caused by high emotion, often repeated over time. Imprints have no life of their own but are often confused as ghosts. In this case, it was a positive imprint.

I later confirmed my husband is in fact okay. 😉

Along with all of the above, I keep seeing things that are not there (or at least not in this reality). Usually I think I see one of my children and even say things to them only to find there is no one there. One time I thought I saw my deceased dog, Trooper!

Then there are the dream experiences. So many dreams! Last night was no exception but had an added twist.

Lucid Dream: Mosquito House

I entered into the dream scene. I was going to visit a family who are connected to my husband in real life. It was very dark as I flew towards my destination. Someone was telling me about the house ahead. It was just the outer parts, no insides, with a good, solid door. I asked why anyone would build a home like this and was told it was to “keep out the mosquitoes”.

Ahead I saw the house. It was one story, brick and had a full sized garage. I could also see inside, as if I had x-ray vision, and it was indeed completely empty.

I shifted into the house with just a thought. Inside it was very hard to see but I could make out the members of the family. I don’t recall interacting with them, just watching and talking about them with my companion (guide). The family is an odd sort in real life. They have opted to live out in the middle of nowhere New Mexico, off the grid, with no indoor plumbing. Their kids are homeschooled. Funny enough, they do use devices. The wife has an online business and the kids use computers for school. The husband does odd jobs in construction and slowly pieced together their home on his parent’s land.

I remember commenting to my companion how everything (the house, the scene) fit the family perfectly based upon what I know about them.  

As I walked through the empty space chatting with my companion, I recall being bitten over and over by mosquitoes (minor annoyances) and thinking the house wasn’t working to keep them out. I asked my companion about this and he said they weren’t bothering him and to ignore them. It was at this point that I became lucid, pulling my blankets, both physically and in the dream, over my head to keep the mosquitoes off me. 

No longer interested in the family or the house, I walked towards the entrance to leave. There were various aquariums set up near the door. They were lit up and I could see the fish inside. I remember pulling them over, one by one, just for fun because it was not something I would do in real life. The room slowly began to fill with water and I laughed as I splashed and dove into the water, swimming with the fish.

The water level got so high it spilled out through the window and I went with it. I could see the night sky and burst up into it in full flight, soaring as high as I could go, feeling absolutely free.

Lucid Dream: Slingshot Powerlines

I returned to my body several times and then went back into lucid dreams. I was heavy with sleep and energy, so it was difficult to gain full control of the dreams when I returned. I seemed happy to follow along for the most part but would get bored and leave the dream to explore. This is what happened in this dream.

I was in a warehouse in an Asian country and knew I had sent gifts to people there. I flew into a room and landed in front of an Asian couple who had received their gift. As they opened it they asked me if they could keep the items inside. I said yes, of course, but they hesitated in disbelief because one was a very expensive wi-fi speaker. 

I lingered around, flying through the warehouse. Like in my last dream, I could see through the outer walls and into the spaces just with a thought. It looked like a factory and it didn’t take long for me to grow bored of the place. Like in the other dream, everything was dark but in this one I could see well.

In my boredom, I went to explore. I flew out a window and up into the sky but got caught in some powerlines. There were rows and rows of them and they were not letting me pass. I got the idea to use them as a slingshot and positioned myself on top of them. With my mind, I pulled myself back and the powerlines acted like rubber bands. I pulled myself back several times until I knew I had enough distance to sling myself really far.

After three or so times of stretching the lines to their limit, I let go and was propelled into the sky and up into space. It was thrilling and I didn’t close my eyes or get afraid like I often do when I head into space. What I recall the most is the exhilaration of moving at such a high speed while watching the stars the entire time. They didn’t streak or change shape. They just shone brilliantly and brightly. All of the sensations became so real that I shifted back into my body, still feeling as if I was moving.

Kundalini

When I returned to my body I was covered in energy and it was difficult to not be lulled back into dreamtime by it. The energy was most noticeable in my solar plexus. It felt like a tube of energy going completely through me right below my ribcage. As I lingered in the amazing comfort of it, I had the visual of a bright light shooting out of my midsection like a spotlight. 

I focused on my breathing to just enjoy the experience but would instantly shift elsewhere. I had to fight to stay in my body and was conversing with my guide the whole time. I had instances where I knew I was seeing other people’s experiences but I didn’t know if they were other people’s dreams or just snapshots of their waking lives. 

In one instance I know I saw a little girl in the hospital receiving treatment for cancer. I witnessed the doctor reading through her medical notes and was able to see them clearly and read through them. All I remember now, despite repeating what I read to myself over and over, was that she had cancer and she was 9 years old. The other instances I saw are a blur to me now, but were similar, as if I were hovering in the corner of the room spying on people.

I fought this. I wanted to be present in my body, but it was not happening. Instead it seemed I was in full remote viewing mode and I began to realize this most acutely when I flew through my own house inspecting various objects and my own children sleeping in their beds. I remember thinking, “If only I had someone to confirm what I am seeing.”

The remote viewing came as a result of what I was talking with my guide about. He was asking me what I would like to do. It was clear that for some reason I was being given the opportunity to utilize my astral body to do things I normally would not. I couldn’t think of anything I was interested in doing. I remember replying, “I want to feel the Kundalini.” My guide laughed and said, “You are.” I realized then that he was correct. I just wasn’t feeling the Kundalini as intensely as I had hoped (as in up through my crown full rising). So, I told him, “I want to help people.” In response, the energy in my solar plexus intensified and other areas responded in kind – my chest and my head especially. I felt like my entire Being was a blazing Light.

The feeling of being this Light was comforting and I kept being carried away by it into remote viewing mode (or something like it). Even when I changed positions in bed the energy kept blazing through me and I would shift OOB so frequently that I began to lose track of whether I was in physical reality or elsewhere. The cool part is that I shifted out of my body via the center of my body. So, I had no racing heart or other bothersome sensations. The sensation of it was awesome. So fluid and natural.

One vivid recollection is of talking to my ex-husband for a moment. He was laying on his back looking up at me. He seemed quite young but he was full of regret and sadness. Though we didn’t speak aloud about what was bothering him, I knew why he was sad and why I was there. I said to him, “I did love you, just not as much as you loved me and I’m sorry for that.” I could feel his anguish and knew that his past with me still haunted him sometimes. When I told him “I did love you” I could sense his questioning. He didn’t understand why I would leave and wondered what he did wrong, and that was what kept him bound to the past. 

Despite the amazing energy and wanting to linger in it for the rest of the day, I made myself get up. When I stood up, my body felt oddly limber and refreshed. I felt wonderful!

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Lucid Dream: Build Something

Woke around 6am. A major thunderstorm with thunder that shook the house, bright lightning and intense rain woke me. Somehow I was able to ignore it and go back to sleep.

Lucid Dream: Plum Tree

I was in a small house in a living room. It was very dimly lit but I could make out the furniture and who was there with me. On a sofa sat my BIL and SIL and my SIL’s mother who passed some time ago from cancer. The older woman was passed out while the other two were sitting quietly together. 

The old woman woke up and said, “I need a cup of coffee (awareness).” She got up and left to get it. I laughed, remembering how this woman use to always have a cup of coffee with her – and a cigarette. Flashes of memory came to me and I wondered briefly if this habit of hers was what led to her death. Probably. I also recognized that coffee = awareness.

I spoke to my BIL and SIL, telling them what I just witnessed. I said, “Remember the old sofa in the living room? The pink one? That was the one she use to sit in all the time. Remember?” They seemed not to even notice me, what I was saying, or that the woman had been there. I tried to get them to look around and be more aware but they just stared, faced blank. 

I walked toward the front door saying aloud, “I know. You’re asleep and have no idea you’re dreaming.” When I said this I became very lucid, instantly knowing I was in a dream.

The front door was beckoning to me. I could see rays of light coming through the cracks in the door. I opened it as my SIL, who was now my older sister, came up to me and said, “I’m not dreaming.” I looked at her, barely noticing the shift in personas and said, motioning to the open door, “Look! It’s light out. Let’s go outside.”

Outside was a huge tree, branches heavy with mango-sized, purple fruits. The trees branches were so heavy they nearly touched the ground. I reached up and touched one. I thought of it as a “plum” (youth, vitality, strength). It was very ripe. My sister grabbed one immediately, plucking it from the tree and holding it in her hand. I saw it was a bit overripe, its skin wrinkled like a raisin (loss of youth and vitality). I said something about finding a better one and began to look. The branches moved higher and I couldn’t reach most of the fruit. Finally, I grabbed one and picked it. It was smaller than the others but perfectly ripe. Someone (my sister?) asked me if I knew how to eat it. I inspected the dark purple flesh and said, “Yes.” I thought of peeling away the skin but never took a bite because a sudden wave of energy wrapped itself around me, pulling me to my sleeping body.

Note: A few days ago while I was working from home, I heard someone in Spirit say, “I love you.” I stopped and listened, feeling a warm energy in my spine. I asked, “Who is this?” I heard back the name of my husband’s old boss. The reason this is relevant is because the woman in the above dream was his wife. At the time I wondered, “Why would he say that to me?” I realize now it is because, though he didn’t seem to in life, he does love me.

Lucid Dream: Build Something

When I returned to my body I easily transitioned back to the dreamstate, this time fully lucid. At first I wasn’t sure I was in a dream it felt so real and purposefully returned to my body to test whether I was asleep or not. The energy that resulted confirmed I was indeed asleep. I could feel my physical body. I “touched” my body briefly and then shifted my awareness back to the dreamstate.

I found myself in my mom’s kitchen, a place I often end up when I go OOB or have lucid dreams. The first parts of the lucid experience are lost to me now, probably because I spent them going back and forth between my body and the dream. I shifted at least three times. I don’t know why I did this, really. At times it seemed like I was purposefully pulling myself back and then another “force” would return me back to the lucid dream. Moments would pass and this would occur again, as if I was playing tug-o-war with myself. lol

Finally staying in the dream, I stood in front of the backdoor that leads to the porch and the pool area. Like in the previous dream, it was very dimly lit and hard to see yet there were beams of light streaming through the closed door inviting me to open it. 

As I opened the door I remember thinking, “I’m going to see it when it was a room and not a porch.” Memories of the room were on my mind along with the timeframe which was the late 90’s when my ex-husband rented the room for a while. 

Sure enough, when I opened the door the old room came into view just as I remembered it. The light was very dim, though, so all I could see were shadows of it. I remembering knowing the dim light was because I didn’t trust my memory.

A familiar ball of energy approached me and I instantly knew it was my deceased dog, Trooper. Thrilled, I reached down and petted him, enjoying his energy and pleased to know he was happy. He circled me energetically and I remember calling him by name. It was hard to see my old friend clearly, which I really wanted. I said something to try and bring light to the room but it never appeared. This perplexed me.

Suddenly, a man appeared, walking right through the closed back door to the room. I couldn’t make out his features at all but I knew he was male. He seemed to flow as if he were made of energy; not solid at all yet solid at times. If I hadn’t been aware that I was dreaming, I would’ve thought him a ghost. He stopped about two feet in front of me, and said, “Come with me. I want to show you something.” 

I desperately wanted to make out his features but couldn’t. In my memory his face looks like a blur. I just know he had short, brown hair.

The man turned and exited the door, which was now wide open. Brilliant light poured in through the opening making the dimly lit room where I stood seem all the darker. I didn’t hesitate to follow the man into the light. Trooper flew out the door ahead of me, running around the yard excitedly. As I walked down the steps I called him, “Monty”, which is my current dog’s name. I corrected myself in my mind, saying, “No, Trooper”, noting that, to me, their energy was similar and so the “mistake” was understandable.

The man had disappeared around the corner but I somehow knew he was over by the pool. When I looked, sure enough he was standing at a table by the lounge chairs. I walked up to him and he smiled, more solid now and easier to track. He stood over a table that was covered with random objects – square sheets of shiny metal lay in a pile. He held one up to me and motioned down at the other items on the table. I could see white plastic items alongside bolts, screws and other supplies. The metal he held in his hand was very thin but extremely shiny. It confused me, though, and I wondered what the man was up to.

He took a bowl in his hand and walked to the edge of the pool. He tossed small, white pellets into the pool. I thought, “Chlorine” (clarity). The man turned and walked back to the table, looking at me expectantly. What did he want?

I hesitated and stared at the man and the scene. Who was he? I suspected if I got closer that I would experience an energetic attraction to him. I didn’t feel anything off the man but I sensed he was “tempting” me. I don’t know if it was with his energy, the items, or both. Or perhaps I was sensing his call – an “invitation”? 

There was a knowing that if I stood there focusing too long, I would return to my body. Part of me wanted this, though. I wanted to run away.

The man, still holding the metal sheet in his hands, held the metal out to me and asked, “Want to build something [with me]?” 

That was it. I was outta there. LOL

Conversation

When I returned to my body it was with effort because there was a pull to return to the dream. Somehow I won out and stayed put but the man in the dream remained in my peripheral. Was he a guide? His energy was not threatening. If anything he felt amused.

I found myself in the in-between seated at the table by the pool. The items were all gone but the man stood across from me. Again he was difficult to make out; a ghost. 

The man said to me, “You came here for a reason.” The feeling I got from him came with memory, memory that was overwhelmingly hard to resist, but I rejected it. I replied that it felt like I was done, that there was nothing left for me to do here anymore.

Memory came of something that happened a couple of nights ago while I was at our company Christmas party. An employee who had been taking care of his grandmother was present at the party. Surprised to see him, I asked him how she was. He said she had died. His answer had the effect of immediate sadness in me and my heart began to hurt. I tried to hold back my tears but they escaped despite my efforts. He was very straight faced and seemingly unaffected but I knew he was in pain. He told me that he would grieve later, that life must go on. I wiped the corners of my eyes but could feel my face getting hotter. This always happens when I get emotional.  

The memory seemed significant. I wondered briefly if the meditation I’d been doing had succeeded in opening my heart.

Pulled back to the conversation, I asked this “guide” what he meant when he asked me “want to build something?” The response he gave was received as if my own thought. He was asking me to “create” what I want in life, but also to allow the creative energy to flow and be who I am meant to be. He was telling me he would help me. 

I told him I feel “dead” and wish only to feel “alive” again but I don’t know how. I heard the word “build” while he said aloud, “Let the pieces show you what they want to become.” I saw the pieces on the table floating up and coming together as he said this. I understood. 

by

Lucid Dream: Upside Down

Lots of dreams last night plus a fitful sleep. I did not wake up feeling rested and had a slight sinus headache. Thankfully coffee is helping.

Dream: Burial Site

I was on the family land with others of my family but it did not look the same. The land was arid, with large rocks and little vegetation. Someone pointed to the hill in the distance and said they had recently uncovered an ancient burial site. I decided to walk over to it and investigate.

When I walked to the edge of the site and looked up beyond the path cut into the hard, sandy soil, I got a feeling in my gut that spread very quickly to the rest of me. It was grief mixed with other emotions and the overall feeling caused me to stumble momentarily. Still, despite the strong emotion, I walked to the top and stood for a moment. There were no tombstones, no markings to indicate where bodies were buried. It was just more of the same sand and stone, but I could feel the spirits of those buried there.

I vaguely recall being asked to use my spiritual abilities to speak to the dead, thus my purpose for being there. In that moment, though, I knew it was not something I wanted to do and so I told the person asking I was not interested. I replied back, “All you care about is what I can give you. You don’t see me.”

As I was overcome by the feelings inundating me, my father, who has been dead since 2005, approached. He asked me if I was okay. I told him about what I was feeling and began to cry. I sobbed as I hugged him and woke up.

Dream: Leaky Fish Tank

I became aware of a fish aquarium that looked similar to the one in my own home except this one seemed to be elsewhere. The first thing I noticed was that more than half the water was gone. I inspected it for obvious leaks and found the shelf in the interior of the stand wet to the touch. I spoke to a woman with me, explaining that we would have to get a replacement and trying to come up with a way to keep the fish alive in the interim. I suggested we mix the fish with the fish in another tank and then buying a 30 gallon tank that would work with the same filter as the leaky one. I looked at the filter in an existing tank and noticed it was very clean and the tank itself sparkling. I knew that it was clean like this because the tank was in a location far from windows and sunlight. I suggested the new one be put in a similar location. When I went to check on the fish in the leaky tank, I saw they were swimming high up in the tank where there was no water. How can fish swim without water? I wondered.

Lucid Dream: Upside Down

This dream began with me being taken somewhere on a motorcycle. I was describing where I was being taken as if recording everything I was experiencing. Around me were old, rusty vehicles that were older than I was. Desiccated trucks so rusty their frames appeared orange. I knew I had been taken prisoner and felt unable to do anything except hold on to the man driving the bike. 

As we reached some short, stubby trees I began to consider that maybe I was dreaming and talked myself into testing my theory. Still talking as if reporting my experience I said aloud, “I wonder if I can jump off….” As I said this, I jumped and flew free of the bike, floating above the treetops. I watched the rider swerve and look back but he didn’t pursue me. 

Thrilled that my plan had worked, I soared high and explored my surroundings. As I turned around I was greeted by a brilliant landscape. As far as I could see were vivid colors. It seemed to be either sunrise or sunset and the individual rays of the sun permeated everything it touched. The golden hues blended with deep oranges and bright yellows. Rolling hills extended as far as the eyes could see and beyond that I could see an ocean of vibrant blue.

Close by I could see the white pillars of a structure. I decided to explore and with the thought shifted directly into a house with various hallways and rooms. Floating through it, I traveled through the rooms encountering my children along the way. I don’t recall the specifics of the rooms, just that I was curious to see where the next hallway took me. I invited my children to join me but can’t recall if they did.

There was one room that was a child’s room. Inside was a dollhouse and the tiny dolls were animated, moving around on their own. This delighted me and I swooped down and grabbed one in my hands. It squirmed and I noted that it felt 100% physical and alive. I put it down when it protested and left to do more exploring.

One room in particular opened up to reveal a one bedroom apartment. I entered the living area first which was flanked by an open, modern kitchen. Beyond that, through a door was the bedroom. I slowed, looking closely at the kitchen. The stove was partially in the living area and I thought, “This is exactly what my apartment would look like if I were single. All but that (the stove). That is not a good place for a stove.” I turned and saw there was another one located in the kitchen itself and said aloud, “That’s where it should be.” 

When I entered the bedroom I found myself back at the scene I first encountered. The sky was nearly cloudless and the colors just as vibrant. Spread out in front of me was the ocean, waves gently lapping the structure at my feet. My children were with me and I was aware that my daughter was laying on a daybed just behind me in a breezy room with long, sheer curtains that swayed in the breeze. My middle son was by my side, looking out at the ocean and just as curious as I was.

I invited my daughter and son to come explore with me. I said, “Let’s fly!” My daughter wasn’t interested, looking instead at her hands which were holding a book that I knew she wasn’t reading. My son was game and so we both flew up. I sped with great intensity into the sky and felt an energy sweeping up higher and higher. I didn’t want to go up, so I dove down into the water, calling my son to join me. He wouldn’t so I went alone.

When I broke the surface of the water I did not feel the water or see the ocean below. Instead I broke the surface of the water in another world where everything appeared to be upside down. Then my vision shifted as the entire world moved upright. When I got my bearings about me I realized I had been the one who was upside down, not the world.

Again thrilled at the experience, I dove back “down” and returned to the other surface where my son was waiting. I told him, “You’ve got to see this!” I took his hand and we both went under the water. Unfortunately, the other world wasn’t there. I don’t recall what exactly we encountered only that when we returned to our original position the sun had set and it was dark.

Up high above our heads was the most magnificent full moon. It was supersized and appeared so close I could touch it. I remember wanting to “talk” to it and again invited my son to join me. He hesitated and I launched myself up towards the moon, my speed increasing exponentially. I felt myself being pulled into space and laughed, resisting and telling “space” that I didn’t want to go there just yet. I paused mid-flight and the pull increased as did my resistance which caused me to momentarily shift back to my body. I pulled myself back to the scene, once again facing the glorious full moon. I yelled something about the moon, words I can’t recall now. My last memory is of seeing my son and recognizing he was a joint participant in this lucid experience. 

I woke wanting to ask my son about my dream but was too tired and sluggish to get out of bed. I shifted into the in-between where I received a vision of someone writing me a note. I watched as the letters and words appeared and read, “You are beautiful….” I rejected the message and woke myself up, instantly regretting my decision.

Considerations and Interpretations

The first dream felt like an actual dream meeting with my father, which was nice as I haven’t seen him in my dreams in over a decade. The dream felt to be the result of a discussion about my feelings and my spiritual experiences. The burial site is likely a representation of what I have buried within myself, part of which includes my spiritual gifts. I felt a heaviness not only from what I perceived from those dead and gone but also from those requesting I speak to the dead. My conclusion was that I did not want to be loved for what I can provide. I want to be loved for who I am.

The second dream is mostly all symbolism pertaining to ideas (fish) and emotion (water).

The lucid dream was almost a full-blown OBE only IMO I never gained enough lucidity. Though I was very conscious of the dream and in full control of it, my perceptions were dull in comparison to how they would be in an OBE. I blame this dullness on my tiredness. I felt almost drugged with sleep when I woke. It was very hard to wake up!

The main insight the lucid dream provided me with is that things are not always what they seem. While I thought the place I was seeing was upside down, it was clear that it was me who was upside down! Think of how different life would be if we would all consider that what we see is skewed (upside down), not the other way around.

The full moon often appears in my lucid experiences when it is full in real time. I am always drawn to it. I don’t know why.

Edit: I did end up asking my son if he remembered being OOB with me. He replied excitedly, “Yes!!” When I probed further, he said he didn’t recall specifics, only sitting and knowing I was there with him and doing things with him.

by

Halloween Lucid to OBE: Numb

Happy Halloween and full moon! Seems that lately the only way I go OOB is when there is a full moon.

Lucid to OBE: Numb

I woke at 5:30am wide awake. I didn’t want to get up so I attempted to return to sleep, but found it difficult.

The next thing I remember is talking to someone in the in-between. I assume is was a male guide. I can’t recall what we were talking about. I believe we were discussing issues I am having in life.

I became lucid when I felt arms wrap around me from behind. I replied, “That’s wonderful. You did it.” With this I am acutely aware of where I am and all my perceptions turn on. As I talk to this man who has now appeared behind me I survey the scene. I am laying on a sofa in a very nice home with vaulted ceilings and mahogany trim. To my left is a modern kitchen and to my right is a staircase leading to the upper floor.

The man is snuggling up behind me on the sofa talking. He is mostly excited that he was able to be there with me saying things like, “I can’t believe it. I did it!” When I turned to look at him I didn’t recognize him. He was quite nerdy looking but not ugly, just unique. The thoughts I had about his appearance were ignored because he felt so very familiar to me his. His energy said I could trust him and that he was a close, beloved friend.

I remember attempting to kiss and cuddle him but he would freak out, worried he would ruin the experience (go back to his body). I understood his concerns as they were valid. He encouraged me to give him a sensual massage. I traced my hand down the back of his thigh down to his calf. When I was done I tried to hugged him close and he again resisted, fear in his eyes. The whole thing was so very real that for a moment I forgot I was dreaming.

We talked quite a bit but what I remember most is thinking of the time and how it was almost 11am. I felt guilty for sleeping in so long and wasting the day. It felt like I needed to get up and get my day going but I don’t recall having anything in particular to do.

Then, I could sense that our time together was coming to an end. I looked at him, studying his face as I explained I could feel he would be leaving soon. His appearance was still very strange to me. He had light hair and a very pronounced mouth area with deep smile lines, almost like his face was carved. Again I dismissed my judgements and just enjoyed the time I had with him.

Not long after he was just gone and I felt myself shifting back to my body. I pulled myself back to the scene, got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen.

What I first noticed was that someone had left food out from breakfast – 3 open jars of jam (feeling stuck in a situation) with lids scattered about. I grabbed the lids to put them back on the jars but I thought I heard someone talking. I listened hard and heard it again. I said, “Is someone there?” I noticed a tiny radio (awareness needed) on the counter but it was not turned on.

Rather than clean up, I just left the mess there.

My thought at the time was that I needed to write down what I had just experienced. So I headed upstairs to find my laptop.

As I climbed the stairs I got a strange feeling. It was like I was dying or like all my energy was being sucked out of me. I couldn’t feel my body, my legs, nothing.

I barely made it to the top and when I did I looked toward the bedroom on the left which I knew I shared with my husband, but I didn’t want to be in a shared space. So I headed toward my bedroom at the end of the hallway. I stopped, though, when I saw a visual in my mind of the bed in that room covered in books, papers and other materials. I knew my husband had taken over my space.

In that moment I fell to my knees, all my energy gone. The feeling is hard to describe but it was as if I were about to pass out and die. I began to try and crawl toward the bedroom but my thoughts took over and I collapsed. I looked around at the amazing house I was in. So grand! It was familiar. I knew it. Yet something was very wrong. I was thinking how the house must be haunted, either that or I must be going insane. I am losing my mind I thought. At the time the memory of where I was seemed overlaid with memory of my current lifetime. I felt to be torn between the two. Who was I? Where was I? Why did I feel so confused?

Then I felt to be dematerializing back to my sleeping body. When I woke a song was going through my head:

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Considerations

My best guess is that I somehow shifted into another reality, one where I had a different life and remembered that life to some degree. The problem was that my current life seeped into my memory of the other one and so created disruptions that I perceived and knew were wrong in some way.

Or it could have been that my problems in my current life seeped into my OBE in order to show themselves. My husband had completely taken over my bedroom – my private space, the space where I could be myself without hiding or pretending. The feeling that I had no space of my own was prominent as was the feeling of being completely exhausted and near energetic death. Mentally I was unable to make sense of anything because of my depleted state.

As I write this, I am reminded of something. I drew one of my Light Code Oracle cards last week. It was the Grief card, reversed. This is the card’s message:

Failure and loss bring strength that can move mountains. Reversed – New hope. An end to a period of grief is approaching or has already begun. Your tears are drying or have long dried up. Your view of the world is becoming lighter with every passing day. Possibility abounds. Complementary cards – Rebirth, Remembering, Death.

I knew today would mark the beginning of a period of understanding. The fog is lifting.