Tag Archives: Messages

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Message from the High Council: Witnessing the Birth of the New Hue-manity

We are all small children. We don’t know as much as we think we do. Yet, we go around as if we know everything, happy in our little bubble.

Now that bubble is bursting. At least for me anyway.

There is so much I don’t know. So much Forgotten.

It is clear to me now that much restructuring must be done. I have just begun and the path is a long one. The more I discover the more open I become. I feel like a flower bud ready to burst open with the first rays of the morning sun. It is as if I have never been awake; as if I was just born.

budIt is very much like I have been a toddler all this life. So self-centered and self-absorbed. The world revolved around me. I saw only from my own perspective and what little I did see from the perspective of another was always evaluated based upon what I wanted or did not want. I manipulated the data to suit me. It made my world safe.

Now is time to expand past that self-absorbed viewpoint; to move into multiple viewpoints simultaneously. This can only be done with restructuring. Limiting beliefs must be tossed out to make way for new ways of thinking. New beliefs will be formed, this is inevitable for it is the design structure of the human mind to create beliefs based upon experience. New experiences will inevitably shape new beliefs and new beliefs will eventually be replaced by newer ones as experience is expanded past previous limitations.

I am told these new beliefs and experiences are the building blocks of the new Hue-manity. I was told to write “Hue” because the color will be different, it will be bright, and it will be Known/seen. But there is so much more to the word. It is a statement; a crying out with joy as we Remember more and more and walk into the Light from a Darkness we Forgot existed.

It is with great joy in my heart that I embrace this new beginning. Tears well up in my eyes to think of the Hope returning. I do not understand yet I do. It is an overwhelming Beauty that I feel. An indescribable Pain being replaced by sudden vision of what Will Be. It is as if I have been in a tiny prison for an eternity – so long that I had begun to believe that prison was all there was or ever could be. To finally be set free is beyond anything I have ever imagined and I am told, “This is just the beginning”.

Hallelujah!

Your walls are breaking down. You are finally Seeing past that which you have built around you. There is so much more We will show you. So much more that you can Be and be a part of. The world is changing, evolving, as you are. That which occurs within you will also in others and in the Earth itself. You and many like you will bear witness to the New Hue-manity.

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Lucid to OBE: Sometimes You Want Cereal

After noting a friend’s success at using B-Complex to induce a lucid dream, I decided to try taking it right before bed.

I use to take B-Complex every night before bed but it began to interrupt my sleep, so I stopped. No surprise, it interrupted my sleep! I woke every 2 hours, each time looking at the clock and swearing I had slept an entire night. Upon my last waking at 4am I pleaded with my guides. “Please let me at least get something out of this. At least a lucid dream?”

Wish granted.

Becoming Lucid: Old Flame in my Bed!

I became aware of a man in my bed. I turned and saw it was an ex-boyfriend!

Brief Explanation – This relationship had been like no other. There was an awesome chemistry – a chemistry that turned me into some kind of sex-crazed idiot (not joking!). in 2003 I had asked my guide to send him. I wanted to experience such a chemistry. Did I ever get it! I also experienced for the first and only time in my life the worse jealousy ever! I wish it on no one!

Dream

Noting who was in my bed, I slid out and looked at him. He looked as I remembered and I remembered A LOT! I did not touch him. Instead I was conversing with my guide. I knew a part of me was observing and that this was a rendering of my subconscious. I remember saying, “I wish I felt like that again!”

A woman I did not know came into the room and began to play with his male part. I got furious and yelled at her saying, “This is the only time I get to see him! You get him all the time! Get out!”. She left.

I then conversed some more with my guide who I didn’t see but knew was there. I remember wearing a belt and taking it and all my clothes off. I talked as I went outside the bedroom, which was my old room at my Mom’s house. There was a staircase going up. I walked up it but it suddenly collapsed upon itself and I slid down to the bottom. There was another staircase coming down and it was chained off – unsafe. I remember hearing from my guide that I could not go up until it was repaired. Looking back on it, I understand. It would have led me to higher levels and I was not yet ready to go there.

I went into my Mom’s bathroom and noted it was misshapen. The room stretched and moved with me in it. I felt like I was tripping! The golden color of the bathroom and the misplacement of the furniture began to bring on lucidity. I began looking for a ponytail holder and the drawers were too clean and organized. Then I knew: I was dreaming!

OBE: Can’t Breathe!

Feeling my body, I exited quickly and found myself in a dark, enclosed space. I suddenly felt I could not breathe and noticed that I was enclosed inside a fabric bag of some sort. I could see a tiny, pinprick of white light through a corner of it – a buttonhole! The claustrophobia was so real! I squelched the panic and told myself it was my fear doing this. I did not want this experience!

OBE: Sometimes You Want Cereal

Immediately the room disappeared and I was in my body feeling vibrations. I exited in one fluid motion and found myself in a dark room full of shadows. To my left there was a golden light and as I looked I saw it was coming from an entire wall of windows. They were shuttered but still the light shown through. I knew I needed to go out there!

I pushed through one of the shuttered windows and went outside. I found myself in my mother’s front yard looking out on many cars parked along the road. I remember thinking, “It’s not bright enough out here!” It was twilight, so there was light but it was muted.

As if to continue the lucid dream, I thought, “There’s a party. That makes sense. He liked parties”. I began to search for his vehicle. I saw an old, white 1970 Ford pickup. Inside was sitting a middle-aged man with a salt-and-pepper beard. I knew him!

I went up to the pickup and felt my middle son lagging behind me. When I saw the man he got out of the truck. He was beautiful despite being “older”. He reminded me of someone but I could not place him.

I asked him and my son, “Do you want to fly?” I reached out and grabbed both their hand’s. As we lifted up, I turned to the man and hugged him tightly. Then I thought, “What’s his name?” I heard an answer in my mind, “Robert”. I had asked my question aloud – “What’s your name?” – when I thought it and the man responded, “Robert” right after I heard it in my mind.

Happy that I had met Robert (my guide), we soared up into the sky. As I felt us rise, my vision blacked out but I was talking to Robert. I wondered, “Why was I dreaming about my ex? Why don’t I want to be with my husband?”

I then saw in my mind an image of a bowl of oatmeal. I stirred it with a spoon but did not want to eat it. Robert said to me, “Sometimes, when all you’ve had is oatmeal, you want cereal”. LOL (Still laughing about this comment).

OBE: It’s Your Birthday!

I felt the subtle vibrations of my body and willed myself back. This time I found myself standing in front of the hallway bathroom looking at my ex. The door was open and he didn’t have a shirt on. I walked up to him and realized I was holding a bowl of cereal (ha!). He turned and his face was covered in white powder. I handed him the bowl of cereal and he took it.

Then we went into the kitchen. There was a Simpson’s toy contraption on the table and I found out he had gotten it for me. I kept watching him and thinking that he had come to see me after all these years. I wished he would stay but felt nothing for him – no love, no desire, nothing. It is foggy now but I recall recognizing his selfishness and that I didn’t like that about him.

Then my Mom presented me with a sequined, silver and black, sleeveless jacket. I oo’d and aw’ed when I saw it and I heard my ex say, “Isn’t that kind of cheap?” I remember then that he would never allow me to appear “slutty”. He was very worried about appearances yet he wanted a slut as his girlfriend. I was not like that and never would have been happy with him. He would have sought to control me in every way.

My Mom mentioned it was my birthday and this confused me. “It’s not my birthday”, I said. She said, “Isn’t it?” I recall being a bit confused here and trying to decide which birthday was my birthday. She asked me, “When is your birthday? I forgot”. I said, “July 3rd” but I knew in “reality” my birthday was a whole month later.

It was then suggested that we go fishing. Me, my ex, and my two oldest children flew out the back window to a large lake. We landed on its banks and I saw the white bones of some kind of animal. It had died there. I saw also that I could see right to the bottom of the dark waters. I cautioned all of them, “Be still, the fish will see you!”

As my ex fished, my children began to ride their bikes over the water. I thought, “He’s never going to catch anything if the lake is that shallow”.

Considerations

This experience was interesting. It was like I was watching my dream as the observer. The lucid dream was interesting. The bathroom warping like that was the coolest! I felt like I was looking into one of those carnival mirrors but actually IN it!

The realizations I had were included in the account. I was contemplating an issue I have been having – feeling more like my husband’s friend than his lover. I actually am happy the way it is – it is comfortable. Yet in the dream I am exploring another part of me, one that wants more and wants to create that in my life. I looked back on an old relationship and recognized it was not what I wanted – how it could have been. I even think that I returned to an alternate life, one in which I made different choices.

The last part about the lake is the perfect description of my relationship with my ex. It is dead. He was too shallow for me.

I also can’t stop laughing about Robert’s comment! I also won’t forget his face. So handsome and familiar.

I want to add that meeting up with him allowed me to compare how Robert feels to how E’Fonin feels. They are VERY different. Robert communicates to me from the right. His communication is subtle and comfortable. E’Fonin communicates from all around – it is as if he surrounds me completely. And he feels HUGE and magnificent, like I am being visited by God or an Angel. His presence seems announced in such a way that I am instantly attentive. He cannot be ignored as easily as Robert. And the energy that comes with E’Fonin is beautiful. I want to melt into my bed. They are SO different!

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Spiritual Demographer

While communicating with E’Fonin in the early hours of the morning, I fell into the in-between state several times.

Business and Spiritual Demographer

Upon waking I had thoughts about my business return to me. This time, however, they were recognizing a synchronicity that had occurred but been missed.

A few days ago I got the idea that I needed to begin researching my next product. I put it off because I have yet to see my current product take off in the way I wanted. Then the idea came again the next day but I again put it off.

Then, yesterday, while talking to my husband on Bluetooth on his way home from the airport, he suggested that I go ahead and begin looking for a new product to launch. His exact word were, “Looks like its time to launch another product”. One of his passengers just happened to also be selling on Amazon and agreed.

These memories all came together quite obviously and I acknowledged the message. This is when I fell into the in-between and I responded to a comment made by E’Fonin about balancing the spiritual and the physical and performing the roles I have in each. I responded, “I am a spiritual demographer and a…” This brought me to full awareness. What the heck is a spiritual demographer?

Another Memory

I had another memory. I was putting codes into two objects. What is interesting about this is that the objects reminded me of something I had seen in a recent dream. They were some kind of device, long and cylindrical and metallic silver in color. These devices were to be use for good but could also be misused for bad, so it was very important to “code” them correctly. I remember seeing the codes etched in the metal and touching one of the devices. I believe their function had to do with light. They are held cradled against one’s side similar to how one would hold a very large, heavy gun. Then a light beam would seem to come out of them. The light is yellow and translucent and sparkly when it comes out. It is directed upward for some reason. Or maybe it is receiving light? Hmmm.

Lessons

After being asleep for about an hour, I awoke very suddenly as I caught part of myself preparing to leave my body. When I awoke, I remembered that this had been happening for quite some time now. I also remembered that I had been learning how to send parts of myself out – like on missions or something.

The reason I awoke this time is that I recognized the way the process works. An image forms in from of my eyes, similar to an OBE exit into a scene. But the image is static and 3D. It just floats in front of me. This is a “trigger” for part of me to go into the image and thus away from the me in my body.

From what I remembered, this occurs almost instantly upon me entering a light sleep state (trance). Sometimes more than one piece leaves in this way.

When I remembered these things, E’Fonin commented that I had been doing extremely well in this lesson and was almost ready for implementation. What it is used for I’m not sure. I am eager to resume OBEs, so hopefully that is what will happen when it is implemented.

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Dream: Bruised Throat

When I went to bed last night I was exhausted so it is no wonder I fell asleep during my nightly meditation. However, I awoke suddenly at 10:30pm. When I looked at the clock I thought, “That’s wrong. The kids must have messed with it”. I got up out of bed and checked the hallway clock. It said it was 10:32.

Confused, I lay back down wondering why I felt I had been asleep for hours and hours. It was then I had a memory – one of those memories like I’ve been having where I will suddenly have complete Knowing about what I am remembering only to have it disappear as soon as I remember it.

The memory was of yet another piece of me returning from somewhere else. It was quick and had actually woken me up prior to 10:30 but I forgot it so quickly that I fell back to sleep. I did, however, make a note of it to remember later – and I did!

Now there are only fragments of the memory but I had remembered an entire journey – a journey this other piece of me had made. The strongest part of this memory is the recognition of the other piece of me and the accepting of it back into the whole. It felt like this other part of me had been out and about running “errands”, what those are I have no clue.

Dream: Bruised Throat

This dream became very lucid towards the end. In it I was working at a school in the role of counselor. I had been talking to a co-worker from the job I just left as we stood in the cafeteria. A group of young boys was referred to me and I talked to them as a group. However, I noticed one boy was very guarded and so asked him to stay and dismissed the other two.

I asked him, “Do you know what a school counselor does?” He shook his head, “No”.

I then told him, “You have nothing to be frightened of. I won’t tell your parents – your mom, dad, grandparents or anyone – what you tell me unless you are going to harm yourself of another. You are safe with me”.

This relaxed him quite a bit and we talked for a while. Then he left and I talked to the teacher, telling her how when I work with students one-on-one I don’t plan like I do when I teach a class. She then noticed something and asked me, “What happened?” She pointed to my neck. I became very self-conscious and said, “Nothing. Nothing happened. Why?” She said, “It looks like you were hurt, that’s all”.

I then went to look for a bathroom to check my neck. I walked down a hallway and saw open doors leading into suites. Was I in a hotel? All the rooms were occupied and were all on the left side. However, on the right side was one room where no one stayed. I walked in as a man was walking out. I asked him, “Does no one stay here?” He said, “No”, and left.

I went into the bathroom intending to use it but the toilet was full of urine and there was wet toilet paper on the seat. I saw it and thought I would just clean it before I used it. But then I turned and inspected my neck in the mirror. Sure enough, there were bruises on either side of my windpipe. It looked like I had been choked.

Dream: College

This is when the dream turns more lucid. I was walking and walking and then stopped in a covered outside area. I lay down on the cement floor and looked up. I could see the stars. As I lay there I began thinking of the college I use to attend. In my mind I was seeing the logo of UNT (University of North Texas). I did not attend that college and this confused me, though I did not remember this in the dream. I kept rearranging the letters – UTN was the most common.

I then thought of a girl I went to high school with and remembered that she attended this college (in reality she did not nor did I). I knew I had come in my sophomore year but she had been there all four years. I remembered meeting her and she was so happy (or appeared to be).

I then got very upset and yelled out to someone, “I hate her! I hate her!”. I was thinking how she is making tons of money and progressing faster than me. It wasn’t fair to me because she was not deserving.

I awoke very upset and thinking of my business (which is not doing as well as I hoped). I kept thinking of this girl and how she as likely making tons of money and still thriving in this material world.

She had everything I had wanted in high school. I wanted to be popular like her but I could not handle being “fake” and I just did not do well with large groups of friends. Yet I had wanted what she had. It was so conflicting and this conflict returned fully in my memory.

I cursed the part of me that pushed away the very thing that I wanted (or thought I did). It was like this part of me was trying to protect me from the pitfalls of popularity. Like I was trying to experience what it is like to be alone and the opposite of popular. It causes great conflict and upset in me.

Instant Comfort and Lessons Realized

I felt no guide, no help, and it upset me more. Then, suddenly after probably 30 minutes of upset, there suddenly washed over me a calm. It came from my mind and caught my attention instantly. My thoughts stopped and the upset vanished. I then heard, “It is through failure that we learn the most”. I then felt the familiar warm energy begin to wash over me, but it was only in my limbs and head.

My concerns about my business had been the last thoughts I had and this was the message I received. There also was a recognition that my real job here had nothing to do with the “other lessons”. These were karmic debt being paid. There was an understanding that my struggle with feeling accepted – this inner conflict I have lived with – is to learn the lesson of humility and to avoid the very things that a part of me wants so badly. The desire to be “popular”, to have the “power” that someone in that position has is a karmic repayment. Yuck. Somewhere alone the way I had misused this “power”.

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A Voice and a Lesson

This has been an interesting day. It has really been pretty boring and mundane all in all…….except that I have had communication from my Team or someone from my Team most of the day. Along with this communication has come learning and information that was unexpected.

Lesson: Management of Thought

The day seems to have been an entire lesson on the workings of the human mind, or at least my human mind anyway.

It all began when a little voice interrupted my doubtful or negative thoughts. I recall the exact moment when I first recognized I was being spoken to. I had considered just selling all of my sewing kits and then throwing in the towel. “It’s too much work” was the last thing I thought.

The voice said, “Follow it through. Remember your intention (memory triggered) and go there. Persistence. Be the moment”.

Silence followed as I absorbed what I was told and recalled the image in my mind from the exact moment when I had the idea to start my business. This “image” was important. I needed to continually refer to that memory and then let it be the last thing I think about, tossing out all doubts and disappointments.

There was more. I was told to push past the pitfalls. Nothing is accomplished without a little elbow grease. Greatness is achieved not by those who know all but by those who seek to know what they do not.

I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln specifically. Try, try, try again. Build upon the knowledge you gain. Push past the failures. Ride over the bumps.

Throughout the day, I kept wanting to go back to the dismal thinking, the “woe-is-me” attitude. I honestly don’t know why I kept doing this. I was told it was because I thought it was what I was suppose to do. Interesting.

This continued on and off all day. The more it happened, the less I fell into the depressing, defeatist views and the more I focused on the moment.

When I noticed my mind was clearing, I heard the voice again. “Imagine complete clarity”. He let it settle in. It was hard to imagine but I think I got the gist of it. He continued saying, “That is how you will be”.

Now that I have time to reflect on today, I recognize that I was being taught about how my mind works and how to control it. I was being shown how to manifest by focusing back on my original intent rather than allowing myself to go off the path into doubt and fear. In the moments when I was being spoken to, I felt as both the experiencer and the observer at the same time. Very similar to some of my OBEs.

The Voice

There was always a feeling that accompanied this voice. The feeling was similar to how a student feels when their teacher is asking them questions in front of the class or teaching them something one-on-one. But it was not a feeling of subservience or of being any less than the teacher. It was more of a reverence; an understanding that I was hearing wisdom and needed to absorb as much of it as I could.

When I asked who the voice was, I got a very complicated name that I have lost now. It was definitely not a name I have ever heard in this life. What is funny is that as soon as I heard it I said, “Oh yeah. I’ll never get that one”. I knew it was pointless to even try to remember it. So I didn’t.

Regardless of who this voice belongs to, I know he is male and I know that he is one of my mentors. The sense I got was that he has come ahead of something else – as if he is preparing me for something that is to come. The closest thing to the feeling I got with him around me was from this past May. I have been asking for that to return. Perhaps something like it is coming?

And he is still here, though currently much more silent. His arrival was preceded by strong crown chakra this morning. This is also similar to how things began in May.

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New Awareness – Embracing Multiple Me’s

Last night I once again did the pyramid visualization meditation before bed. This time, however, the pyramid began to spin very quickly to the right. I did not intend this, just saw it happening. It then slowed and I began to drift into the in-between.

New Awareness

I don’t know what I did in the in-between. It is like I have amnesia. I recall pictures and conversations occurring, similar to a light dream state, but that is all. What I do remember is suddenly opening my eyes and coming back to full awareness. When I did this I felt energy come in from both my left and my right. What is crazy about this is that I recognized the energy as me. In fact, I recognized it as distinct pieces of me coming in from somewhere outside of me.

At first I was nervous about it because the energy was so intense. When it returned to me it felt like it added something to me; like I grew larger because of it, but not in a bad way. The thought crossed my mind that I had just taken on another Spirit; that Spirit was piggybacking on me. Yet there was a calmness that remained with me and those thoughts just dissolved as if they were “nothing of note”.

It was then that I Remembered, or maybe I was told and it seemed like a memory, that I had been practicing in previous nights over the last week or so how to control my energy, or “essence” may be a better word. It is complex and something far above my human comprehension, but it is something my heart understands. In fact, when I Remembered these “sessions” I felt assured that whatever I just experienced was not to be feared but to be embraced. I was re-learning an important skill that had been lost.

The feeling of being “broken up” and then reconstituted was the beginning stages of these lessons. Now instead of feeling hundreds of pieces I feel only a few. What is most interesting is that in these few I recognized them to all be me. It was like I could transfer into any of them and have a different perspective, similar to the OBE where I met myself and did exactly that.

Visions and Dreams

In my sleep and in-between states after that I received messages, some not so good by the looks of them.

Recruits

In one in-between flash of a vision, I was presented with a long list. The top of the list had the title, “Recruits”. As I read it, I woke fully from my reverie and was a bit startled. I had an instant memory of the messages I had received about there being spiritual soldiers sent to Earth to help. Was this that list of soldiers?

Burning Earth

I awoke from a disturbing semi-lucid dream. I clearly recall being embraced in silken-looking, translucent white wings or petals. They wrapped around me and I called them by a name which I cannot remember now. They were not connected to a person, but appeared to be part of a system of transport into space. In fact, I was floating in space and looking down at Earth. Except Earth was not its normal beautiful green and blue with swirls of white. No. This Earth appeared to be molten lava, a swirling mass of red and black. It was horrifying yet I was not horrified.

Rescue Capsule

I had a detailed dream in which I was a teacher with students. The students had discovered a room and gone into it without permission. I found them and went inside this room. Yet when I went inside, the room was not a room at all but a tall, cone-shaped capsule with stairs that spiraled upward. The student had gone up the stairs and I had to get them down. I explained that this capsule was only for use in emergencies. It was meant to evacuate and not a playground. I was very serious but the students were not.

I remember the capsule very clearly. It was made of a silver metal and there was paneling, some of which contained controls and buttons. I remember when I looked up the stairs that it was not time to go “up”, yet that going up those stairs meant freedom, or at least something better than what was down below.

butterflySo Many Questions

My third-eye continues to blaze, though not all day now. It seems to come on suddenly without warning, and then tones down.

There is also ear ringing that comes on suddenly as well. Last night I had ear ringing and distinctly felt the presence of Spirit to my left. She knelt down and put her hand on my left arm and asked, “Do you see me?” I told her, “No. I’m sorry. I can only feel you”. I did not try to continue the conversation for I was about to meditate and did not want the distraction.

All these strange changes and energy experiences have left me with so many questions. I don’t understand what is happening and I want to know. I ask questions in meditation and then I have the strange visions and dreams. I was told that I needed to be able to transfer 50% of myself into something, what it is I am not sure. I saw it, but forgot most of it as I became startled by it. However, this transfer of Self is why I am practicing the manipulation of my essence (can’t really adequately describe it).

I am surprised I have not convinced myself that I am crazy with all this going on. I am actually fascinated, especially by the experience I had last night of being three me’s all at once. It felt so natural and normal – yet it wasn’t, at least not to this part of me.

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Pyramid Meditation and Experience

As predicted in a message I received over a week ago, the 20th brought about yet another strange energy experience.

Pyramid Meditation

I have been reading Dolores Cannon’s Convoluted Universe Book 1 and am nearing the end of it. In one of the chapters there is discussion about how to balance chakras using a pyramid to help funnel the energy into the solar plexus which then balances out one’s whole energy system. This was in conjunction with information on how to manifest in the physical.

Since I had just read about it, I decided to try it as I did my nightly meditation.

The directions are simple:

Relax in your normal meditative position (mine is laying down with head propped on pillow).

Focus on your third-eye chakra while envisioning yourself laying in the center of a giant pyramid. Position yourself 1/3 of the way from the bottom, or base, of the pyramid.

When I did this, I immediately went into the in-between. I mean immediately! There was no time of clearing my mind or deep breathing. As soon as I saw myself inside the pyramid I went elsewhere. I don’t know where I went, but I went fast. So fast that I had this strange energy seemingly come at me with such force that I immediately came back from wherever I had been thinking, “What the hell!?”

The energy was that same energy as I had the night of this blog post. BUT this time the energy was not scary and did not shake me up. It felt more normal and balanced, like I had gained control of it somehow.

It is the oddest energy I have ever felt and I have felt some pretty weird energy! It felt like I was in a million pieces and then converged back into one whole piece. It’s like I am shattered, splitting into different aspects of myself and then reassembled.

The majority of the energy sensation was centered around my head this time. So this may be why I was less shaken.

Explanation

Of course, upon coming out of this strange experience, I went back to the pyramid meditation. This time there was no immediately departure but I think it is because I was looking for the experience. I did have an odd energy traveling through my body. What is interesting is that it did center around my solar plexus!

I requested an explanation but rather than a direct answer, I ended up going elsewhere again.

The memory of what occurred is mostly lost to me now. Again, it was like it was siphoned off before I had a chance to remember it in full. What I do remember is going from one “Me” to another; back and forth, back and forth. I also recall not being alone but having a man with me who was completely white. I don’t remember details of his face but I remember he had human form and facial characteristics.

The energy that went with this movement between “Me’s” is what brought me back to my body. I checked the clock and it was 10:30pm. I had expected much later as I had settled into meditation at 9:40pm. So the time from my pyramid experience to waking from the next experience was less than an hour!

When I finally came back to full, physical body awareness I remember seeing the White man. He was standing next to a smaller White person. They reminded me of statues they were so still. This visual actually shocked me enough to cause me to completely forget what immediately preceded the vision.

Mostly what I recall is the feeling of moving. It was the same strange energy of breaking apart and reassembling. What is odd is that I did not have fear and it felt like it was systematic – go to point A, then B, then C  and then repeat. Could the pyramid have caused this strange movement?

Messages

I returned to sleep but woke several times in the night, each time thinking I had slept longer than I had.

I had several messages during this time:

The number 6 repeated itself. Angel number 6 has to do with maintaining balance between spiritual and physical.

The number 114 repeated itself enough to wake me up, the number still very clear in my mind. Angel number 114 says that if one uses caution and wisdom they will be successful in business and money matters and life in general. This goes well with my thoughts from last night as I kept thinking of my business.

Dream: Slaughtered Cats

Upon waking the last time this morning, I recalled a vivid dream in which I was inside a mobile home cooking dinner. The stove wouldn’t work and the bread was stale. I was with an old man whom I was suppose to marry. He kept asking me what boy’s names I liked, as if we were going to have a baby.

I left, feeling weird about the whole thing, and as I left saw that the house was made of glass and had a specific entry and exit separated by glass.

When I went out of the home, there was a maze-like walkway with walls waist high. The first thing I saw was carnage and fur. Upon closer inspection it was massacred cats. Some were still alive but they were eating the dead cats!

I walked past the cats and went into a hallway that turned into a school. I remember meeting up with some people and telling them, “It’s safe. I made it that way” and seeing all kinds of tarps and posters up in the halls. Though I couldn’t read them, I knew they had messages or invocations that made it safe.

I’m not sure what the dream implies but it was very odd. I have never seen slaughtered cats like this. Most of them were black, too. Maybe I am overcoming some bad luck? 🙂

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Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

As I meditated last night, I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I knew instantly it would happen and was pleased. It has been a long time since I have done either.

Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

I woke in the early morning hours. It was still dark outside so rather than get up I rolled over on my left side and focused on my third-eye which was buzzing with energy. I had many thoughts in my mind making it difficult to relax. I remember hearing that I needed to relax and clear my mind.

The next thing I knew I was very aware of laying in my bed spooning with another person. I could feel their body snug up against mine and it was comforting.

I knew instantly I was OOB because this person I was with was not my husband (he was already awake). There was an electrical energy that was present which also alerted me to this fact.

My mind was a swirl of thoughts – communication between myself and another which I cannot remember now but I know was occurring. I felt a large, masculine hand reach out and gently take my hand. I felt my fingers interlace between his and squeeze. I was not alone.

The act of holding hands caused my awareness to peak and I began to look around and try to gather information about where I was. Unfortunately, all I saw was a gray, shifty haze that seemed to jump if I focused upon it. I was able to recognize I was not in my own bedroom. Where was I?

I felt the familiar pull back to my body and the energy seemed to hit me with more force than usual. I felt my body and knew I could return, so I withdrew from the front of my mind and fell back into thoughtlessness.

colors dropplet ripples waterReturn

Again, I could feel myself spooning with this man but I was also aware that there was another person in bed with me, a female. I did not spoon with her but kept thinking that the man and the woman were people who I converse with online. I called them by name and talk to them as if they were there but I did not see either of them. Why I did this, I am not sure but I remember thinking that I needed to tell them I had been with them while OOB.

These thoughts occurred simultaneously with other thoughts, thoughts that were conversations with someone else. I was being reminded to observe and to allow the experience to show me what I needed to see.

I could feel my awareness increasing and decreasing. It ebbed and flowed as I tried to maintain a balance, one that would allow me to remain the observer and not take too much control of the experience. I recall in one heightened moment of lucidity that I could feel the body spooning with me with such intensity that I momentarily forgot I was OOB and thought it was real. This made me too lucid and I had to fight to gain control of myself to remain OOB.

Eventually, I got up out of the bed and began to explore my environment. My vision was still shifty and all gray so I knew I needed to raise my vibration. I began to sing as I flew toward the front of a familiar house. I believe I was in a house I use to share with my ex-husband when we lived in college housing in Montana! I could see the door ahead of me and there was light shining through the windows. I knew if I could get there that I could free myself of this heavy environment.

There was then a recognition that I had done something wrong. I had taken control of the the experience when it was made clear that my only job was to observe it, to allow it to show me something. I was not reprimanded or anything. It’s not like that. I was more of a, “Oh shoot. I forgot!” feeling as I got the message.

Time to Rest

I was pulled very quickly back to my body. As this occurred I received information about the veil between the Earth and the other dimensions or layers surrounding it. The veil was thinner than normal. It was not a good idea at this time for me to explore these areas. It was my time to “rest”.

I was able to gain information about why it was not a good idea for me to travel outside my body right now while many others are able to. It has something to do with my vibration level and the vibration of my physical body as well as the vibration level of the surrounding dimensions or layers. I was told that my physical body is being attuned, its vibration raised in order to incorporate a higher vibration. Leaving my body to explore the astral realms could interrupt the process.

I am shown in my mind a tuning fork and the ripples the sound makes as it travels away from the fork. Then I am shown a disturbance in the ripple. This disturbance is what would happen if I were to astral right now.

I’m not sure what would happen if such a disturbance occurred but I trust my guides in this. There is always a good reason even if I do not understand it.

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667 Days to Home

Today is my last day of work. I took a half of it off because I have days to burn. I was also hoping to get more sleep. I did, but not as much as I would have liked.

I have mixed feelings about leaving work despite knowing it is the right choice for now. I will miss some of my students and those coworkers whom I developed good working relationships with. One coworker sent me an email thanking me for helping her son and asking for me to let her know if I ever go into private practice. It is her son that I am saddest to leave. He is sad, too. He cried when I told him I was leaving. 😦

It’s wonderful to feel I have made an impact in someone’s life, even if only a small one.

Gaping Hole

I don’t know if it is just me leaving work that is causing this, but I feel a gaping hole in my life. I think it has always been there but now it seems bigger. There is nothing there. It is just empty and the emptiness of it is what bothers me the most. The bigger it gets, the more empty I feel inside.

I have tried to fill it with things – activities, movement, mental tasks – but when all is done it is still there. I go within and find it there and it is not scary but I don’t know what to do with it. Do I fill it? Do I leave it alone? What is it anyway?

My guide told me this morning, “Why don’t you just rest? It is okay to take a break”. Perhaps, but I am such a busy-body, so use to keeping myself and my mind occupied, that taking a break is not all that easy for me.

For example, I awoke at 5am this morning and immediately my mind began to fill with thoughts of things I needed to do. I even got confused on what day it was, thinking it was Friday and then Wednesday and finally getting to the fact that it is Monday. There are so many lists of things I have to do – exit paperwork for work, promoting my new business, resolving a return of a large product I ordered, a parent-teacher conference, and so on and so forth. All these things flooded my mind and I panicked when I accidentally thought it was Friday.

It’s actually kinda funny. 🙂

667 Days

Out of control thoughts, even if they appear productive, can bring a person down really fast. I reacted by begging my guides to help me return to sleep and asking when I would return Home.

Surprisingly, I got an answer the to second question immediately: 667 days. Really?

Of course, I immediately thought there is now way that could be accurate. Why would my guides reveal something like that? Maybe because they know I will forget it. I forget so easily.

667 days is just under 2 years from now. “Home” I believe is not me leaving this physical body via death. I believe it is reestablishing a connection with the part of me that is Home, is always Home. It is a feeling not a destination.

Mind-Heart Connection

It is clear to me that I have established a link between my mind and my heart. It is undeniable to me now. Every night I feel it as I relax and prepare for sleep. My third eye lights up like a beacon and my heart follows. It is like clockwork.

I feel it throughout the day, too, but mostly it is my third-eye that is blazing throughout the day. It is doing so now and any time I check for it, it is there as a reminder that I am always connected. Sometimes it blazes so intensely while I am doing mundane things that I cannot help but stop what I am doing and notice. It is like I am being asked to take notice of the moment. To not get lost in all the “things” I have to do throughout the day.

My crown chakra is also buzzing, but it is less in comparison to the huge pulling sensation in my third-eye. The energy helmet is becoming so familiar to me that it goes unnoticed until the energy in my crown reaches similar proportions to that of my third-eye.

Honestly it feels like my head is a beacon of light.

20%

In one of my intense, third-eye energy moments I got a vision along with a message. It was a timeline, or at least that is how it appeared to me. I could see that most of the line was colored in in green. It reminded me of the download screens one gets when downloading something from the internet. Towards the end of the green line there was written “20%”.

As soon as I saw it I got the message that I only have 20% left to go. I did not feel encouraged. Who knows how long it will take to download that 20%. My connection often gets interrupted. 6 minutes can take an hour.

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Healing Spheres of Golden Light

In an attempt to get a longer, more restful sleep, I gave in and took 25mg of Benadryl last night. I slept until 7am with few wakings for a total of 10 hours of sleep!

Dreams and False Awakenings

The Benadryl gives me that heavy, full-of-sleep feeling, so although I did dream, I have few memories of dreams. The few memories I do have are riddled with false awakenings indicating that I was nearly lucid, but just not quite enough to wake up and recognize I was dreaming.

In one particular false awakening instance, I had “awakened” from a dream and rolled back over to return to sleep only to find that I was feeling a very strong energy in my root chakra and a churning desire in my second chakra. I recognized this and decided I needed to wake my husband to release some of the energy.

I got up out of bed (remember this is a dream but I think I am awake) and look for my husband. I find him sitting inside an unfamiliar car in the driver’s seat. He sees me and is surprised. I have a blanket wrapped around me and still feel very groggy. I reach over and kiss him passionately he. He is surprised and we make out for a short while. I am pleased because I feel such an overwhelming desire for him, a desire I have not felt since after the birth of our second child.

Gaining hope that perhaps we can rekindle that new love feeling, I am about to ask him to come into the house when he points ahead at a person walking along the road. He says,”I wonder why they are out so late?” He is curious and begins to drive toward the woman. This reveals an entire group of people walking along the road. A light appears which I think are car headlights. Turns out it is flashlights and the group is much larger than I thought.

My husband, being the socialite he is, questions the woman who says there is a neighborhood meeting. My husband gathers data from her to the extent that I lose interest completely in my original reason for being there. I remember thinking, “That does it for me”.

I recall following my husband as he talks and mingles with the group and we all walk outside along a dirt path that winds through woods and houses. I am flying in one of these instances and recall being just above the treetops and wanting to get out of there and explore. This is not allowed. I am to observe the scene and I do not like it.

False Awakening Two

I then “awaken” in my bed and hear water running. I wonder why it is running and not stopping so I get up to investigate and find the toilet has not shut off. I fix it and hear a noise in the kitchen.

There is a golden hue in the kitchen (all the house is unfamiliar). I go out and find my middle son is awake. I tell him to go back to bed.

It gets hazy here but I remember then being in a mall looking for my children after returning from the group of people my husband was with from the other dream. I find them wandering around and frantically gather them up to take them home. There is a man giving out wads of 100 dollar bills. I take one and do not believe it is real and throw it on the floor. On my way home I pick it up and say I will give it to my husband as he might believe the money is real.

When we get home the house is full of those people my husband was with. I tell them to leave. I did not invite them and they can’t just walk in without knocking and asking for entrance.

There is this shorter, middle aged woman who is very familiar there. She gives me a defiant look and resists my orders to leave. I see her as a threat to my marriage as she was the one leading the group and my husband tends to go along with what she asks him to do. Eventually she and the others do leave my house but my husband returns and invites them in. I feel powerless to do anything about it and feel a strange uncomfortable feeling. I do not want to feel this in my own home so I leave and stand outside looking at the front door.

Healing Spheres of Light

I awaken feeling this odd energy over my body. As I come to full awareness, I both sense and see these pulsating, golden spheres on my back and shoulder areas. They seem attached to me and I see one is placed where my shoulder and arm meet and another is six inches higher near my neck. Where they are touching me is an odd sensation, one I do not like.

Fully lucid, I want the feeling to go away. Still in the in-between, I see very clearly the golden spheres attached to grayish looking branches or vines. They are “ripe” and falling off like fruit falls off a tree. The vines seem alive, almost fleshy-like and seem to retreat somewhat when a golden sphere of fruit falls off. It is a very alien-like scene, like something from a Sci-Fi movie, and I withdraw from it, wanting it to go away as I still feel the strange feeling. It feels like I am being zapped with energy and where the energy touches me is a radiating alien energy that goes deep into my Being. I feel invaded but it does not hurt nor do I think I should be withdrawing from it. Yet a part of me does not want anything to do with these spheres.

Recognizing that something is being done to me, I wake fully and immediately question the experience. I see in front of me a hand written note on white paper. As I begin to read it I hear my guide say, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to love others?” I remember the dream and my rejection of the large group my husband so happily embraces. I want to retreat from it; to isolate myself from this “group”. The uncomfortable feeling returns and I say to my guide, “I don’t want to. Do I have to?” I hear, “No, but you will have to learn it at a later date” and I know that if I do not learn it now, that I will in another life. I cringe.

The feeling goes away but my hips feel very sensitive and I struggle to get comfortable. The feeling is not like any I have had before. It kind of feels like my legs were popped out of the hip socket and then replaced. Like I had been rearranged.

To Learn or Not to Learn, That is the Question

Fully awake, I perused my dreams, trying to remember them. What I found is that I began to re-write the dreams. For example, where I was in the car with my husband and he sees the woman, I re-wrote it by seeing instead an army in front of us who we both began to fight. There was a full on assault with guns and bombs. I came out of my reverie knowing I had re-written it and struggled to remember the original. The message was not lost on me, though.

In this life I tend to choose to avoid groups. I avoid making connections with groups. I do this to protect myself but also because groups make me uncomfortable. Last night, I stayed home with my youngest rather than go to a party with my husband. I chose this because it is outside my comfort zone. I have always been this way, mostly. Sometimes when I go to a party I am very social and open. But this is rare. I usually stand or sit far away from the crowd and rarely do I initiate a conversation.

I recognize that my real Self is very sociable. For some reason I chose to be the opposite in this life. I remember lives in which I was social and being social was easy. Not so in this life. The dreams I had last night suggest that I am to learn a lesson about sociability. It is linked to my husband and our marriage. I suspect there is a hidden “lie” that needs to be revealed but in order to do this I must step outside my comfort zone. I must challenge myself in order to “free” myself.