Tag Archives: Messages

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Feel I’ve Been Duped

I feel I’ve been duped. Either that or I completely misunderstood the spiritual changes I was going through.

It is probably the latter. I tend to be quite dense overall with this transformation stuff.

Dreams and Interrupted Sleep

I awoke feeling this way. That is how I’ve been feeling upon waking for some time now. This morning at 4:30am I was wide awake to the point that I didn’t think I would return to sleep. My mind was unsettled and I had a feeling of resistance that was quite strong.

My dreams were many and now I only have tidbits left of them. In one I was buying a very large cantaloupe and stated, “It’s for my husband. I hate cantaloupes” (I do hate them). In another I was being left at the beach by my ex-husband who decided he was going to go jet skiing. I remember hating him and feeling abandoned. Finally, in another I was being forced to take a mentally unstable and retarded teenager to the mental hospital. Then the man stole my car despite my trying to disable it.

I also recall a conversation about me being 26 years old. I almost became lucid in that dream because I remember thinking, “I’m not that young” and thinking about different ages to see if they felt right. This particular dream woke me up. I immediately remembered the age of 26 was when I had my first spiritual awakening. I did the math and sighed. It had been a very long time since then and I seem to not have made much progress.

Surrender

I somehow fell back to sleep and woke a couple of hours later. During that time I had more calming dreams. In one memorable one I was in the mountains and kept trying to take pictures of them. I ran into a group of mountain bikers and their air pump had gotten stolen. Then I was in a cabin on the mountainside. It had large windows to take in the view and a woman, a professor, was showing me invitations she had hand-made herself. She was about to leave her position for one higher up and I congratulated her. I remember thinking I had already graduated and was not her student anymore. Then I stared out the windows at the mountains and told her, “I’m not staying very long”.

Then I was reading a hand written list aloud to someone. As I went down the list, the words began to echo in my mind and I stopped because I recognized one: walk-in. I wondered, “Why was that word on there?” and then I wanted to remember the other ones and couldn’t. This woke me up.

I awoke to the Proclaimer’s 500 Miles song chorus in my head. I was not amused and did not want to hear what my Companion had to say. When I searched for the lyrics this morning, I stumbled upon an alternate version first and in the midst of the lyrics were the words “Surrender. Surrender”.

Probably a message but I’m not finding it helpful.

Gut Feeling

My connection to my Companion and Team is almost imperceptible right now. I feel abandoned by them again and angry to be left alone in a world I have no interest in. My gut feeling is that this is how it is going to be for a while. I feel stranded in a foreign country. I don’t know the language or the customs and have no interest in adapting to fit in.

Ever since I was a child I have felt this way. I don’t belong here. This isn’t my Home. Something is wrong with everyone else. Or maybe something is wrong with me? I thought I had finally found my family when I met my Companion. You can imagine the relief I felt. “Finally! Finally I am not alone! Finally I have an answer to why I am like I am!”.

But when I can’t find him, when it feels like he has abandoned me, all the feelings I have felt since childhood resurface. I begin to flounder. Life is so empty and lacking without the connection.

I am told it is always there, but I can’t find it. Even sleep doesn’t bring it. I was disconnected for the entire time I was starting my family. I don’t know how I managed to not die inside during that time – or maybe I did, little by little. If I have to do that again I think it will destroy me.

Please, please don’t do that to me again.

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8 Months and I Give Up

My sleep has been interrupted by strange dreams and odd messages. I have been in my stubborn I-don’t-wanna-hear-it stage, so I try and push the dreams out of my mind as soon as I wake. And I wake up a lot!

Lung Dissection

The night before last I awoke from a real vivid dream where I watched myself on the operating table. My chest was opened up to reveal my lungs. Then my lungs were sliced in half and neatly laid side by side to reveal the insides.

What is the most vivid about this dream is the inspection of the inside. I was being shown these tiny, sparkling green orbs. They were all over the inside of my lungs. They looked like little circular emeralds and were no bigger than the tip of my pinky finger in size.

I woke up immediately from the dream thinking something was horribly wrong. I was immediately calmed and then fell back to sleep.

Signing the Bill

Last night I had a string of dreams that all woke me up. I tried to forget them but they are still lingering, especially this one.

I was purchasing something and asked to sign the credit card bill. The was one of the old type – you know the kind from a manual credit card processing machine that imprinted the card numbers on paper (makes me look very old).

I went to sign my name and it barely showed up. I remember squinting at the nearly invisible signature and then rewriting my name carefully over the top so that it could be seen.

I woke up immediately after thinking I had just signed a contract or finalized one.

8 Months!?

I don’t recall the dream now (trying to forget my dreams is working I guess) but I do recall what woke me up. In the dream I was talking to someone who was discussing how long it would take to do something. I remember hearing, “8 months”.

I awoke angry and protesting, yelling at my Companion asking why it was taking so long and to get it over with already. He explained that the process could not be rushed.

I Give Up

At work today I watched some webinars and got some CEUs (continuing education) in order to keep my counseling certificate. This was voluntary because my boss seems to have forgotten I exist and so I was not on the schedule to attend any of the day’s (and week’s) professional development. I wanted to focus on spiritual matters but kept feeling not to. So I didn’t.

As the day progressed I found a webinar I really liked and began to get ideas for the upcoming counseling groups I will be conducting. It was at this time I heard a very quiet question, “Why not?” This came with a memory of long ago when I first began teaching. Back then, I fell into my work with more gusto and passion than I ever have since. I enjoyed my job so much, in fact, that I got to work early every day and loved every moment of my day.

I realized what was happening. I was being prompted to “live life” and I understood that I have been resisting life for a very long time. There is a part of me that is angry at the “system” and also angry at myself for letting it get the better of me. Every time I think of something I should do I feel that anger and a little voice says, “Why bother?”

Honestly, though, I would rather try and do something about it than nothing at all.

So I decided I would do this group. I would plan it like I use to plan lessons as a teacher. I would have fun with it. I would create it and make it my own.

I came home and bought children’s books for each topic. I look forward to reading them to the students and making the silly voices for the characters. I look forward to making posters and drawing with them while we brainstorm ideas.

The reason I loved my first year of teaching is because my working theme was, “Explore yourself”. That is what I tried to get my students to do. To discover themselves, learn about themselves and grow in themselves. I can do that with the kids I work with now. If I want to.

Maybe “living life” won’t be as much of a drag after all.

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Dream: Tending to the Horse

This morning I had a semi-lucid dream in which I was conversing with my Companion as I watched scenes unfold in front of me. It was quite long and drawn out, so I will focus mainly on the part that is most memorable.

Dream: Misfire

I had awakened early in the morning and asked to astral project. I rolled over and fell asleep not long after.

The first thing I recall is hearing very audibly a very deep voice. I acknowledged the voice immediately as that of my Companion. I don’t now remember what he said. Instead, I remember more the tone and quality of the voice. It was deep and sounded distorted, like someone talking through a voice distorter or changer.

I watched a scene unfold in front of me. Me and my brother were in the scene but this was us from another life. I was older and he was younger. In the scene we were upset because two dogs had been shot. One died and the other, my Trooper, had been wounded. I was visibly upset because I would have to put down my dog as his injuries were life threatening and he was already very old.

I saw how it happened. We had been playing with a loaded pistol and somehow, in our rough housing, the pistol had misfired and gone through the side of my dog and into the face of the other dog.

For a moment I was overcome with grief at the loss of my dog but then I recognized something – he had not died from a gunshot wound. The grief threatened still and I heard the voice of my Companion reminded me that I had moved past that. The grief vanished then and I became more lucid, recognizing it had all been a dream.

Dream: Tending to the Horse

Then I was standing in my Mom’s backyard looking at a large, brown horse. I somehow knew he was old. I had in my hand one of those large brushes to brush horses and knew that I was suppose to tend to the horse. I walked up to him and began to brush him. What is odd is that he spoke to me the entire time.

At one point he rolled over on his belly and thrashed about. He invited me to brush his underside and was very happy and content to be tended to. It was odd because the voice of my Companion came out of this horse and I felt very reluctant to participate in the obvious teaching scenario he had created for me.

I asked him why he wanted me to brush him. He said “Everyone else is too rough. They do it the right way”. I saw in my mind a woman brushing a horse and pushing very hard as they did. It did indeed seem rough and very business-like. Yet I knew this was the “right way” as I had seen it done in my current life.

I continued to brush him in my own way, which was more like a light massage or petting. I remember discussing with him my desire to hear him in my mind like I was hearing him now. “Why can’t I hear you this way in my waking life?”, I asked. There was/still is such a deep longing to hear him this way outside the dream and in-between states.

By this time I was fully lucid and had entered the in-between state. The horse was gone and all that remained was the strong connection between my Companion and myself. I knew his reply to my question before I heard his response.

“You can hear me just fine”, he said. I knew he was right. I do hear him, but not like in my dreams.

I asked him if I would ever get to experience hearing him that way consistently while awake. I did not get an answer as to yes or no, just a feeling that it was possible. But there was a huge “but” attached.

As I came out of the in-between I heard him say, “Live life”.

I knew again the message: Stop wishing for this or that and just live your life. Focus on living.

Understandably, I was in a sour mood when I got out of bed.

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Dream: In 500 Years

I slept fitfully last night. I believe I was conversing with someone most of the night. Unfortunately, I don’t remember who or what was said. Every time I woke up it was 1.5 hours since I had previously woken. I didn’t feel rested upon finally waking up at 6:30.

Dream: In 500 Years

I had a lot of dreams in between the conversations but the one that stands out to me is about the future.

I was discussing my upset about how disconnected people have become from one another because of social media and the internet. It seemed that it would ruin humanity to me. This is when the person I was talking to interjected and said, “There will one day be a method of tracking people by sound”. I then saw the apparatus used to track people. It was a large, silver machine with metal tubing. Somehow it was explained to me that this machine could track and identify every person on Earth by their unique sound.

I found this interesting but wondered when such technology would exist. I heard back, “In 500 years”. I said, “Why would I care about that, then? I will be long dead by then”.

Then I wondered, “What if a person never speaks?” This is when it was explained that the machine could also detect a person based upon their smell. This seemed even more strange to me and I briefly wondered if maybe it wasn’t a “machine” at all but telepathy.

The dream then morphed into this action-adventure type movie scene. Two nuns came in and absconded with the machine, hiding it inside a black burlap sack. I chased after them but they escaped into a Catholic cathedral.

Inside, I saw them opening up two coffins. They were standing upright, side by side. The machine had turned into two people, a man and a woman, who were prisoners. They were being placed in the coffins and told how to use the censors inside to survive. I saw the woman playing with six tiny silver balls located at the top of the coffin.

I remember thinking the dream odd but there was a message that the previous machine, the one that could track people, was of high interest to organized religions such as Catholicism. They saw it as a threat to their survival. It was important that they suppress such change in order to maintain their power.

This part of the dream woke me up and the message remained. I understood the symbolism of the dream and the warning it held.

Message

I am not trying to attack the Catholic religion, so please don’t think that. But the message was clear that organized religion is part of why humanity is asleep. I did not question the message, for I have always distrusted religious groups, but there was further message that the powers that be are people we would otherwise not suspect of such a ruse. What I am told is that they do know what they are doing and are doing it purposefully.

No wonder I had trouble sleeping last night!

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Changing the Future Through our Children

My husband and I had a welcomed night out last night. Unfortunately, he began talking about all the things that we are doing wrong with our family and raising our children. He wanted to sell everything, buy and RV and go out on an adventure to find a new home. I was not into that idea and so resisted.

By the time we were sitting down to eat, the conversation was going nowhere. I listened to him – to us – and didn’t like it. So I changed my reaction to him.

I started talking about what we were doing right. I told him all the stuff he was picking at was overwhelming to me. How can anyone be perfect? No one can. It is unrealistic.

I began talking about our children. How different they are, their lives are, from my own. How we are who we are because someone taught us to be that way. Now we are struggling to break free of all those lessons; lessons that were the lessons of our parents, not ours. Our children, I told him, are so much more better off than we were. They know we are more than this body. They are not being force-fed religion. They are being allowed to question reality and life. They are being validated for their experiences, even if they are not “normal” ones.

I gave him the example of our daughter when she was 2 years old. She saw Spirit on our stairway and pointed him out, asking, “Who is that grumpy old man?” Rather than say, “No one is there. I don’t see anyone”, which is what my mom would have done – or worse off, laughing at her (which my mom actually did) – I asked her to describe him. “What does he look like?”, “Where is he?”

She described my grandfather who had died a year previous. I told her who he was and explained he came for a visit.

Rather than let her think something was wrong with her, I let her know nothing was wrong with her. She was/is special to have gotten a visit from Spirit.

When I reminded my husband of these things he completely changed directions and said, “You’re right. I should be focusing on and building upon what we are doing right, not focusing on all we are failing to do”.

Our night was pleasant from then on out.

Changing the Future

Things won’t change unless we do. After talking with my husband I realized just how much better off my children will be because I am changing, have changed, for the better. I had to wait until my mid-twenties to find out that I am more than this body. I wish I had only known what I know now when I was her age. How much loneliness I could have avoided and how much fun I could have had.

Not long ago my guide reminded me that my purpose was to be a mother and to focus on my children. I can see now why this would be important. They will grow up in a changed world. A world in which they will need to know what I am teaching them now. It will make them stronger, strong enough to handle the immense changes coming.

I am so very proud of my daughter and her curiosity and eagerness to explore herself. I can’t wait to explore with her, to show her more, to show her what I have learned. What fun!

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Crayfish Totem

I was reminded yesterday morning of a recent outing with my children. I had taught them how to catch minnows in the creek with a net. In the process of doing this, I saw a crawdad and caught it quickly. I showed them. We touched it and marveled at it. And I had fun. I felt like a kid again.

I use to spend hours as a kid catching crawdads. I told my children stories of how I waded through knee high mud, invading crawdad homes and catching all sizes. I told them the story of the mammoth crawdad I caught that was the size of a lobster. And I told them stories of how I collected their claws, explaining that they grew back and how I never once got pinched.

I was reminded by seeing in my mind the picture of the crawdad I caught that day (pictured above). I almost forgot about it. With the memory I felt there was a message I had missed. What was crawdad’s message?

crawdad

Crayfish Totem

Crayfish teaches us to move forward in life, to overcome our fears by shedding our old “skin”. This skin shedding is part of the crayfish’s nature cycle of growth and maturity. Similarly, spiritual growth is a forward moving process and involves shedding old limiting beliefs, issues and habits. The crayfish reminds us to not be afraid to let go of those things that hold us back. However, it also represents appropriate reversal, especially when threatened, but reminds us to not overuse this protective mechanism.

Crayfish is also symbol of regeneration. It often loses its legs, or claws, and can regrow them easily. So, also, can you regenerate as needed.

As a water creature, the crayfish represents the psyche, dreams and subconscious. It reminds us to pay attention to our intuition, listen to our dreams, and look for symbols in both our waking and dream world.

All images copywrite daynaspirit.com

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Time for Something New

I was reading a blog post yesterday which about happiness. The point that got through to me was that those who are most happy are the ones following their heart and doing those things which fill them with joy regardless of what others say or what society deems “correct”.

It was not long after that the words of that post got through to me. I knew that what made me happiest was the spiritual process I have been going through most of my life. The experiences, the knowing, the insight, the healing – all of this is what brings me joy.

I am living my purpose.

When I awoke this morning I again thought of my purpose. I knew it was “to awaken”. That was the sole reason I came into this life.

I knew I had practiced and practiced this before coming. I even got a taste of it in prior lives. My last one especially.

Of course, I came into this life to do more than “awaken”, but it is my primary reason for being here. I have other contracts to fulfill; other smaller purposes. I think the main difference between my soul’s purpose and these contracts is that the contracts are like side-jobs. They are the tying up of loose ends.

When I wonder, “Why me?”, and “Why now?” I know that it is because I am “done” and moving onto something new, something different.

The answer is more of a feeling that is hard to describe, but basically I have advanced to new things.

“Advanced” is individual. It does not mean I am better or worse than anyone else. It just means that I have reached, as my guide calls it, “critical mass”. I am not completely sure what  that means but in my heart it means that I am done with what I have been doing and now can do something else. Move on. Move forward. Advance.

It kind of feels like loss of interest, really. Like I use to feel as a child. You know how children find something they like and do it over, and over, and over again because they love it soooo much? And then, one day, they suddenly have no interest. It is like the light switch shuts off on that particular interest. Then another one turns on.

This is “advancement” the way it feels to me. I have lost interest and am moving on. And I am not alone. Lots have lost interest.

Time for something new.

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Results of the Shift

For the past two nights I have dreamed of past acquaintances, both of which died suddenly and unexpectedly. At first I thought it to be a coincidence, but after last night’s dream I have changed my mind.

“I Can’t Get Through”

I almost missed the visit and message last night since it was muddled up with a longer dream I was having. However, upon waking it was clearly separate from the rest of the dreams I had.

The specific memory I have was of seeing this person, who I knew while growing up and who died in 2012. His daughter, my best friend from school, was in my dream as well. He was trying to talk to her; to get her attention. I don’t recall the specifics of what he was trying to tell her, but I do recall seeing his face covered in disappointment. I asked him what was wrong and he told me, “I can’t get through”.

My personal memory of him was blurred but I do recall trying very hard to get a good look at him because I recognized him. He looked like I last recall and I was happy to see him. But his disappointment was strong and that, I think, is why I remember.

Plans, Plans

The night before last I had a very in-depth dream in which I discussed the building of a house with someone I knew in life. He had also passed away and this was not the first time I had seen him in my dreams.

He was not trying to pass on a message – at least not that I recall. Instead, he was telling me of all the plans he had never gotten the chance to act upon. He was very enthusiastic. This is also how I remember him in life.

It seemed he came to talk to me as he asked me why I moved my family from our old place. I don’t remember my answer now. Instead, I just recall seeing him and his beaming smile. It was obvious he was very happy on the Other Side. He was also “whole”, which he had not been in life.

Understanding: Widespread Results of the Shift

It did not take me long to put the two night’s visits together. There was a reason for these encounters.

The every increasing energy shifts and changes brought about via the shift has not gone unnoticed by those who do not believe in the ascension. Most don’t even know about it. Yet, they feel it and they are distraught. They do not understand they are clearing out their past – their hurts, their disappointments, their upsets, their “sins”, their karma. All they know is that they are haunted by a feeling of emptiness and an upset over things they should be able to put behind them.

Their loves ones on the Other Side are trying to reach out to them. They should be able to. The veil is thin enough now that entering the subconscious via dreams to pass on messages is easier now than ever. Unfortunately, the messages don’t always get through. The mind blocks them. And if the messages do get through, disbelief and doubt toss them out.

This is why my friend’s father was so disappointed. He was showing me his attempts have not worked. He wondered, “Why can you see me but she cannot?

He knew the answer. She doesn’t believe in God or the afterlife for one. This was what he taught her, too. How could she ever receive a message from someone who is just gone? And if the message does make it through, she will toss it out, figuring it just a creation of her own mind. Unfortunately, this only creates more grief and more blocks and thus the cycle continues.

I recognized his appeal to me: talk to her, get her to see I am still here, I still exist.

I told him I won’t do it. Even if she did listen to me, she would still have those same blocks. She just does not believe.

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Folding in the Higher Self

This epic blue moon did not invoke any OOB states or profound spiritual experience for me. I was not expecting that, though. I knew I would have another night of deep sleep, and I did.

However, I did have early morning communications from my guide in the form of dreams and insight.

Folding in the Higher Self

One particularly strong memory was of a discussion in which I was being shown the definition of the word “fold”. I saw the written word and also pictures of the meaning of the word. I recall talking about folds in the skin and seeing layers of belly fat rolled one upon the other. In that memory I also recall hearing this was the wrong definition.

Then I recall joking about the word, turning it into “felled” such as “felled one’s enemy”. Apparently this humor was not appropriate and I was awakened immediately.

When I awoke I saw clearly in my mind a bowl and a mixing spoon. I knew this meant the definition I was being asked to consider here was the cooking definition – the combining of ingredients without forcing the air out of the mixture. This is done by mixing the lighter ingredients into the denser ingredients gradually and with very little pressure. The action is repeated until the the ingredients are fully combined. Step by step this involves moving the lighter ingredients around the side of the denser ones. Then, moving them underneath. Finally, by moving the entire mixture over onto itself.

What This Means

I find it interesting that this definition was used to describe my current transformation and the transformation of many others across the globe. Specifically, the combining of denser ingredients with lighter ingredients is superbly analogous to the ascension process.

The lighter ingredients are analogous of the Higher Self and the higher vibrating energy that it brings. This “light” infiltrates the lower vibrating or denser energy of the Earth Self. Ultimately, the two will completely combine and merge to create something new.

These two aspects must be combined slowly so as to not force the air out of the mixture. In the case of ascension, the “air” would of course be the physical body and the folding process is necessary for the preservation of it.

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Spiritual Hibernation

Despite being told a while back to expect contact from the Council around the time of a great meteor shower, I have still not gotten any communication. The current meteor shower (Perseid) has been on-going since last week but is most visible in mid-August. Therefore, if communication is going to come it is likely not coming for a couple of weeks.

When I awoke this morning I again felt very groggy. I fall deeply to sleep every night and wake with nothing much but a few fleeting dreams which I take little interest in and promptly forget. I feel completely vacant inside, as if all the revelations I had previously are nothing but a dream. I can’t help but think that it was all nonsense. Perhaps I made it all up in a desperate attempt to create some kind of excitement in my life?

Perhaps I am thinking these thoughts because the consistent message I have been receiving lately is, “Live your life”. Of course, compared to the amazing insights and experiences I had the end of May/beginning of June, my life is boring and dull. I just can’t get excited about it. At all.

Spiritual Hibernation

The intense drowsiness I have been experiencing, the lack of motivation, the illness (I have another cold!), the sluggish way I move about my day – all of these remind me again of the message I got from a dream – Bear, John.

Bear’s hibernate and that is exactly what I have been doing. And according to that post, I can expect 30 days of it. If it is 30 days from that post, I am 22 days in. But if I have 8 more days they feel like an eternity. I really wish I could sleep through it all. I mean really sleep.

Hibernation is, like you all know, a time of rest. The body shuts down almost completely. Every process slows down to the minimal amount needed to keep the body functional.

Spiritually it is the same. Everything slows down to the point of seeming to stop completely.  The part that was awake is now again asleep.

I have heard that when one spiritually hibernates they have entered a time in their life when the experience of living life itself offers them spiritual acceleration beyond what internal experiences and introspection can offer. If this is true, then so be it, but I do not see that happening currently. But then again, perhaps all this hibernation is doing is helping me learn acceptance and patience. These two things are very difficult indeed at this point.