Tag Archives: OBEs

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OBE: Laser Beam

Before bed last night, I was watching, Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind – Contact Has Begun. I didn’t finish but had just started Part 3. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. I wasn’t very inclined toward the content in Part 1, but Part 2 got my attention.

I’m pretty sure the film impacted my dreams and early morning OBE.

Dream: Planter

I was standing in knee-high flood waters (strong, turbulent emotion). The water was frothy and brown. It churned around me and then subsided.

I walked through a mess of items that was left behind. Trash, mostly. Ahead of me I saw my sister and realized I was at the spot where her RV home was located. She was walking about picking up items. She came up to me and told me she was trying to get Mom to buy her a planter (hope for the future). I thought it a ridiculous idea considering her current state and suggested she use one of the many pieces of junk laying around. I even showed her how, giving her several examples of items she could use.

I noticed she was already using items as planters for various cactuses (mistrust, isolation). Some of them looked sickly. I told her she might consider using an old cooler, one with wheels. This gave me another idea and I suggested she use a small wagon.

Somehow I ended up going to “the house”, which I assume was located nearby but I don’t remember how I got to it. It was very nice and had so many rooms that there was no way just one family could occupy it. I spoke to someone about this as I walked through a living area.

A woman was with me and showed me to a child’s room. It was full of all kinds of items. The woman suggested giving the items to my daughter (child aspect). “Do you think she would like this room?” I said, “Yes! She would LOVE this room!” I explored some of the shelves and one was full of tiny, glass figurines. I remember thinking she might struggle to keep the figurines organized. I, myself, would have loved the room as a girl.

Then I realized I needed to go to the bathroom ( seeking relief) and excused myself to go find one. I ended up going through a very heavy, steel door. When I turned around to latch it I had to really put all my bodyweight into the door to move it in place and latch it closed.

The bathroom itself was not a normal one. It had a very nice sitting area with sofas and a big table. To my right was a full kitchen. The walls were made of bricks and I couldn’t see a toilet anywhere. I went to search the hall behind the kitchen when I heard someone push open the heavy, steel door.

Surprised they got in even though I had locked it, I went to investigate. When I saw two men and a woman standing there I said in an annoyed tone, “Why are you in here!? I locked the door!” One of the men, who looked a lot like my uncle, said something in a harsh tone. It was something like, “Why do you always have to be like this?” I suddenly felt very ashamed but in defense of myself I said, “I had to use the bathroom.” But the feeling of shame lingered and I wondered to myself, “Why do I always act this way?” I could feel a heavy energy forming in my core. It moved upward quickly and I began to sob.

I woke up crying and a little confused. I was upset because the way I acted in the dream is so typical of my life. I end up confused afterward wondering, “Why did I do that?” It feels like I have no control over the things I do and say sometimes. Like someone else is doing it! What is that about?

A guide was close and encouraging. It felt like he wanted me to look.

Memory

A memory came to me, one from many years ago during my first year in college. I was working as a waitress in the town where I graduated even though my college was about 30 minutes away. I had worked there since high school and they asked me to help because they were short staffed. I ended up being the top waitress and so often ended up giving orders to the other waitress, most of which were in high school.

One waitress in particular resented the fact that I told her what to do. I remember asking her to clean the bathroom, checking her work, and seeing she had done nothing despite saying she had cleaned it. I called her on it, she confessed and back talked me, but went back and cleaned it with me watching.

A few days later I was going out to my car. I had recently gotten it as a gift from my Mom. Some of the waitresses were standing near it. The bitter one walked away smirking. At my car, one of the waitresses told me the bitter one had keyed my car. Sure enough the back of car had a long, deep mark on it.

I went to the owner and told him about it. He confronted the waitress and she confessed and he made her apologize. I demanded more be done, but he refused. I wanted him to fire her. My Mom contacted the girl’s mom and tried to get compensation for the damage but nothing ever materialized. I felt so betrayed by the owner that I quit very soon after. I didn’t want to work at a place that condoned childish behavior.

This memory was long ago discarded but now it was back. I realized I was being shown the memory because I had missed something. So I inspected how I had treated the girl and my reaction. I also considered the girl’s perspective and my boss’s.

Ultimately, I realized the girl’s family was likely very poor. I also knew my boss only hired girls who needed the job – for various reasons, he was kind-hearted. He was also short-staffed so would not want to fire someone for something they did off shift.

My tendencies when I was young were I to act without thinking. I often came across to others as unyielding and harsh. I am and always have been blunt and tend to speak my mind. I don’t often consider how others might receive me. I most definitely did not give this girl any respect and treated her like a child, scolding her for trying to avoid doing her job. Yet, when I considered her background, I sympathized for her. She was young and inexperienced. She saw my car as something expensive (it wasn’t but to her it was). She wanted me to feel what she felt and the only thing she knew to do was key my car. In the end, I could care less. I didn’t buy that car, my Mom did. I ended up trading it in on a much better one later. And that poor girl would likely have to work three times as hard as me to get a car like that!

But, honestly, she was not a good worker. She was lazy and idle, preferring to chat with her “friends” (they ratted her out) and linger in the kitchen. She often ignored her tables and I had to take up the slack. When I called her out, she couldn’t handle it.

In the end, though, I recognized that everyone in this memory was me. I treat myself harshly. I also forgive and give second chances, like my boss. All of it, every single part of the memory, was me. And my response to my guide’s questioning energy was understanding of this fact.

So how then do I explain feeling unable to control my response to others? I realized I behaved just as I was meant to. I may not know the full reasoning but it will be clear at some point.

OBE: Laser Beam

I became aware of hearing a radio playing in my room. The sound became very loud to the point that I knew what I was hearing were noises-off. I kept peeling away from my sleeping body to see the source of the music. I could see an alarm clock far across the room and had a “memory” of messing with the controls. I thought it must have gone off like it does sometimes when I push the sleep button on accident.

When I lay back down in my sleeping body is when I realized, 1. I was not in my bedroom but in one from my past. 2. I was already OOB because I could feel my astral body shift off my sleeping one when I moved. Because it all felt so real, I sat there contemplating whether I should test my theory. Eventually, I just sat up and floated out of my sleeping body and landed by the side of the bed near the open bedroom door.

My vision was shifty and dark indicating I was likely in a lower portion of the astral. I walked up to the front door and held my hands in front of my face to try and see them. I saw nothing but still said, “Clarity now” but I knew it wouldn’t work this time.

I flew outside where it was also dark. I couldn’t figure out if it was my vision that was turned off or if it was really dark. I felt my astral body pulled upward and said to whoever was in control, “Not so fast” and “No, I don’t want to go too high (meaning space).” I attempted to see below and occasionally got a glimpse of tree branches with newly sprouted, bright green leaves. At another time I saw the starry sky overhead in such detail it was surprising.

I’m not sure why I was resistant to the pull but I kept asking someone – “It” – to keep me fairly low to the ground. I did not want to go “to space” which is where I felt “It” wanted to take me.

Ultimately, this struggle brought me back to my sleeping body but I did not leave the astral. Instead, I made my way back outside. I don’t remember much of this trip except that I began to sing at the top of my lungs. This cleared my vision to the point that I realized it was indeed dark outside. I was able to see the area around my Mom’s house and flew around as I sang. I don’t remember what I was singing but I do know I was using my singing voice to talk to “It”, that powerful force that was still attempting to take me “up there”.

At one point I spotted a solid black pickup truck parked by the house. I was still singing and remember saying something to “It” about the truck. I wanted to see someone inside and had hoped I could manifest them, but it was empty. So, I picked up the truck and carried it with me up into the sky. It had no weight at all and for some reason I liked having it close to me. Eventually, the truck’s windows became black like the rest of the vehicle and it took on an unfamiliar shape. It was elongated with rounded corners and I was extremely shiny to the point that if I wasn’t looking for it, I wouldn’t have seen it. It would have blended in with the night; become invisible.

I grew bored of flying and wanted more interaction. This brought me back to my body once again. This time, though, I was talking to “It” when I heard a loud bang. I jumped and went to the window where the noise originated. To my surprise I saw someone outside facing me. I couldn’t tell who it was at first because the blinds were in the way. Looking more closely I recognized the person. I thought, “It’s my daughter!” I banged on the window in response and saw her smile and laugh. She had been trying to scare me.

I quickly flew to the front door and outside to meet her. We hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. I asked her, “How did you get here?” She pointed to a vehicle parked at the end of the sidewalk. I saw a dark colored SUV. The passenger window was rolled down.

Excited to have my daughter with me, I urged her to come flying with me. I flew up to the treetops. From that vantage point the full moon was visible. It was low in the sky and extremely oversized; massive. It wasn’t white but had a yellow tinge and the “face” of the moon was quite distinct. Excited, I yelled, “Look! It’s the full moon!” It took my breath away and so I figured it would also interest my daughter. It didn’t. She went her own way.

Realizing I was now alone, I went down to the waiting vehicle to see who had brought my daughter to me. I peered inside and saw two young Hispanic girls. The one in the driver’s seat had a small child in her lap. I said, “Oh, you have a baby!” and then corrected myself, “No, a child, with you.” In the back seat were more children. They had blankets and were not sitting in the seat but snuggling together behind the driver’s seat. I said to them, ‘You should put on your seatbelts.” The driver said, “We will.”

That’s when I noticed something odd. The two older girls had very large guns with them. They were black and I saw no distinguishing marks but I assumed they were machine guns by their size. I said, “You have guns?” They didn’t look concerned so I reached toward the gun the passenger was holding. She handed it to me barrel first and it was heavy and cold in my hand. Feeling the weight of it I said, “Woah.” I knew it was dangerous to take the gun barrel first but she didn’t even flinch.

I wondered if it was loaded so turned away from the car and aimed the gun at the darkness beyond. When I fired it did not make any noise. Instead, a green dot appeared in the distance. It was fairly large and just hovered there. I questioned the girl, “This is a flare gun?” She nodded her head. I asked who it was for. She said, “Protectors. They will come now.” In my mind I envisioned an army of armed men in black would be coming soon but knew that was inaccurate. I didn’t know if I should be worried or not, so stood there watching the green light. It wasn’t fading and was very obvious in the darkness.

The last thing I recall is seeing two Rottweilers intertwined, curled up together as if sleeping but their faces indicated they were on alert. Their positioning reminded me of the Yin-Yang symbol.

I returned to my sleeping body and lingered there for a while. My body was uncomfortable. My left arm a bit numb. So I settled into my body, moved my arm and opened my eyes.

Part of a song repeated in my head, “Don’t you worry child, heaven’s got a plan for you.”

Considerations

The movie I was watching was on my mind as I fell asleep. I was talking to one of my guides throughout the movie. I was curious about CE-5, the method/project used to make contact. I thought about trying it but realized I had no interest in getting the E.T. to materialize for me. They already did, back in 1989. They seem to come to me without me asking or calling them. In fact, I think the guides I speak to are Them.

The last portion of my OBE reflects what I watched. The green light, specifically, is like the laser pointers used to point out the craft in the night sky. Like other OBEs, the “force” I feel pulling me was present, but this time, rather than assume that force was me, it felt to be an Other. I also did not want to go “up” despite knowing from previous experience that it often means I will be taken to extraordinary places.

I did ask to resume Contact, which could mean anything, really. I never initiated Contact to begin with and would never ask Them to come display themselves as proof they exist. I already Believe and have reached what the participants of CE-5 are seeking on my own. Yet, I do feel They have more to teach me. All I can do is ask Them to show me what I need. And it appears I needed to be reminded that we are all One, as per my first dream.

Next time I plan to just go “up there” when they start tugging on my astral body. I already know what happens. I speed up to the point I can’t imagine going any faster. I lose my astral vision, enter the void, and “blink” to a new location.

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OBE: What Did I Do Wrong?

Got almost no sleep last night. I made the mistake of checking the election progress and then was hit with an energy I can only describe as anticipatory. Who can sleep when they are feeling like that? It was like the energy of the entire US was filling up my chest area. My heart was literally buzzing and warm, my body full of energy. Ugh!

I have NEVER had trouble sleeping on election night.

At around 3am I just gave up. I sat propped up in my bed and started deep breathing. 4 count inhale, 4 count exhale. I tried to tell my body to relax, to sleep. I kept my mind on the counting. I asked my guidance to help me sleep.

The next thing I know I am in that space where I can exit my body.

OBE: What Did I DO Wrong?

The instant I knew I could exit, I did. Out of my body, clear and free, I flew downstairs. I mentally announced to the Universe my intent. I said, “What did I do wrong?” I’m not sure why I asked this question. It was not planned. The part of the question not stated was that I wanted to know where I messed up in life. It implies that I feel I have somehow gone off-track.

I saw my husband asleep in front of the TV. I went up to him and touched him to see if he would feel me. He moved a bit but didn’t wake.

I went out the back door, still intent on my question.

When I went through the door I was transported to another place. In front of me were two houses standing side-by-side. They resembled houses from a Dr. Seuss book. I flew inside one of the house’s windows. There were no rooms really. The space just opened up into stairs and ramps going up. I followed them through a very narrow passage for many floors and then exited out another window. Looking back the house looked to be balanced on a very tiny foundation. It was like the house was made of blocks from the game Jenga. Remove one and the whole thing would fall. Yet at the same time it was extremely stable.

For some reason I became very, very lucid all at once. It pulled me back toward my physical body where I lingered for a while. My heart was doing odd things and felt weird. I worried a little about it and knew I had to get fully back into my body to stabilize my heartrate. Once I did, I stayed in my body a bit but soon shifted OOB again. This time I exited straight out of my chest.

Once OOB I felt/Knew I should return to my body. Something wasn’t quite right. My heart wasn’t handling my exit well. I tried to get further away, knowing the closer I was the more my body would pull me back and the more I would notice the irregular heart rhythm, but felt it was ill advised. All I wanted was to be free of my body, but the answer was, “NO”. So, back I went.

Fear or Courage?

I had some odd dreams after that but woke frequently and didn’t get much sleep overall. The first thing I Knew upon waking was that part of the reason I am feeling so anticipatory about this election is because the results will be a big indicator of the future. Will the future path we choose as a nation be paved with fear or courage/strength? I, personally, am not afraid. I prefer to confront uncertainty and the unknown head-on. Unfortunately, many, many Americans are living, mostly unconsciously, in a perpetual fear-state. Decisions made out of fear lead to uncomfortable and often painful lessons. The very least of which results in a deep-seated feeling of dis-ease.

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Halloween Lucid to OBE: Numb

Happy Halloween and full moon! Seems that lately the only way I go OOB is when there is a full moon.

Lucid to OBE: Numb

I woke at 5:30am wide awake. I didn’t want to get up so I attempted to return to sleep, but found it difficult.

The next thing I remember is talking to someone in the in-between. I assume is was a male guide. I can’t recall what we were talking about. I believe we were discussing issues I am having in life.

I became lucid when I felt arms wrap around me from behind. I replied, “That’s wonderful. You did it.” With this I am acutely aware of where I am and all my perceptions turn on. As I talk to this man who has now appeared behind me I survey the scene. I am laying on a sofa in a very nice home with vaulted ceilings and mahogany trim. To my left is a modern kitchen and to my right is a staircase leading to the upper floor.

The man is snuggling up behind me on the sofa talking. He is mostly excited that he was able to be there with me saying things like, “I can’t believe it. I did it!” When I turned to look at him I didn’t recognize him. He was quite nerdy looking but not ugly, just unique. The thoughts I had about his appearance were ignored because he felt so very familiar to me his. His energy said I could trust him and that he was a close, beloved friend.

I remember attempting to kiss and cuddle him but he would freak out, worried he would ruin the experience (go back to his body). I understood his concerns as they were valid. He encouraged me to give him a sensual massage. I traced my hand down the back of his thigh down to his calf. When I was done I tried to hugged him close and he again resisted, fear in his eyes. The whole thing was so very real that for a moment I forgot I was dreaming.

We talked quite a bit but what I remember most is thinking of the time and how it was almost 11am. I felt guilty for sleeping in so long and wasting the day. It felt like I needed to get up and get my day going but I don’t recall having anything in particular to do.

Then, I could sense that our time together was coming to an end. I looked at him, studying his face as I explained I could feel he would be leaving soon. His appearance was still very strange to me. He had light hair and a very pronounced mouth area with deep smile lines, almost like his face was carved. Again I dismissed my judgements and just enjoyed the time I had with him.

Not long after he was just gone and I felt myself shifting back to my body. I pulled myself back to the scene, got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen.

What I first noticed was that someone had left food out from breakfast – 3 open jars of jam (feeling stuck in a situation) with lids scattered about. I grabbed the lids to put them back on the jars but I thought I heard someone talking. I listened hard and heard it again. I said, “Is someone there?” I noticed a tiny radio (awareness needed) on the counter but it was not turned on.

Rather than clean up, I just left the mess there.

My thought at the time was that I needed to write down what I had just experienced. So I headed upstairs to find my laptop.

As I climbed the stairs I got a strange feeling. It was like I was dying or like all my energy was being sucked out of me. I couldn’t feel my body, my legs, nothing.

I barely made it to the top and when I did I looked toward the bedroom on the left which I knew I shared with my husband, but I didn’t want to be in a shared space. So I headed toward my bedroom at the end of the hallway. I stopped, though, when I saw a visual in my mind of the bed in that room covered in books, papers and other materials. I knew my husband had taken over my space.

In that moment I fell to my knees, all my energy gone. The feeling is hard to describe but it was as if I were about to pass out and die. I began to try and crawl toward the bedroom but my thoughts took over and I collapsed. I looked around at the amazing house I was in. So grand! It was familiar. I knew it. Yet something was very wrong. I was thinking how the house must be haunted, either that or I must be going insane. I am losing my mind I thought. At the time the memory of where I was seemed overlaid with memory of my current lifetime. I felt to be torn between the two. Who was I? Where was I? Why did I feel so confused?

Then I felt to be dematerializing back to my sleeping body. When I woke a song was going through my head:

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Considerations

My best guess is that I somehow shifted into another reality, one where I had a different life and remembered that life to some degree. The problem was that my current life seeped into my memory of the other one and so created disruptions that I perceived and knew were wrong in some way.

Or it could have been that my problems in my current life seeped into my OBE in order to show themselves. My husband had completely taken over my bedroom – my private space, the space where I could be myself without hiding or pretending. The feeling that I had no space of my own was prominent as was the feeling of being completely exhausted and near energetic death. Mentally I was unable to make sense of anything because of my depleted state.

As I write this, I am reminded of something. I drew one of my Light Code Oracle cards last week. It was the Grief card, reversed. This is the card’s message:

Failure and loss bring strength that can move mountains. Reversed – New hope. An end to a period of grief is approaching or has already begun. Your tears are drying or have long dried up. Your view of the world is becoming lighter with every passing day. Possibility abounds. Complementary cards – Rebirth, Remembering, Death.

I knew today would mark the beginning of a period of understanding. The fog is lifting.

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Lucid to OBE: Return to Past Dream and Music Message: You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful

Last night marked the third night of listening to a 30 minute Delta State track, or binaural beats as some call it. The first time I listened I was startled awake by a familiar feeling. The feeling is hard to describe unless you’ve consciously gone OOB, meaning you were not using a method like the WBTB (wake back to bed) or going OOB via a lucid dream. When you leave your body consciously the sensations tend to be much stronger, which is why I prefer to exit via a lucid dream. So when I began to feel literally sucked out of my body via my heart center it startled me awake. Then I lay there, heart pounding for a while, as if I had just sprinted a short distance.

The second and third times I listened to the music I did not have this happen but did find myself drifting into the in-between for short periods. My mind has been super over-active lately so it takes me the full 30 minutes of my meditation time to shut it down. 

I’ve also been sleeping pretty deeply for a while now, which I am not complaining about since prior to this deep sleep period I was not sleeping very well. 

I woke at around 4:45am from an odd dream and then got back into bed but lay there wide awake for some time. 

Lucid Dream: Return to Past Dream

I traveled to a past dream I had some time ago. In fact, I don’t even recall when I had this dream or if I documented it. Yet when I returned to it, I recalled it vividly. I remember exploring the dream scene to the point of returning to it and then watching it fast forward and rewind based on what I was interested in. 

The dream itself involved a past coworker, a history teacher who had retired. He had taken me to his cabin in a vast, hilly grassland located below a mountain range that was reminiscent of Montana. We then traveled to where he taught college aged students history. The classroom was located under ground and we walked through a tunnel to get to it.

I recall sitting in a desk watching him teach. A feeling came over me and I began to miss teaching to the point of considering returning to work in that capacity.

In my return to this dream I sat back in that seat and re-experienced that feeling. I’m not sure why. I believe I was conversing with a guide about it. 

I also returned to the scene of the cabin nestled under the shadow of the mountains far from civilization and shrouded in moonlight. The starry sky overhead seemed so big. I felt safe despite the vulnerability the openness brought. It seemed as if I was being asked to focus on how I felt at this time. There was a sense of someone saying, “This is where you belong”.

Then I was inside a home looking at a shelf with toiletries hanging on the wall next to a doorway. My ex-coworker was there and I mentioned the shelf, saying I missed it. I distinctly recall staying at the house and using the shelf to hold my things and I knew the toiletries it contained were mine.

I focused on a small bar of soap feeling the desire to reclaim the shelf and its contents.

I began to take down the shelf using a screwdriver. When I got the shelf on the floor I began to disassemble it. My coworker stopped and asked me about it. “Oh, it’s the shelf. Are you taking it?” I felt a bit guilty for not asking but responded, “Yes”, and continued to take it apart. The tiny screws kept slipping through my fingers. There were four and I was counting them to make sure I had them all. 

There is a mixture of visuals here – faces from my past blurring into other faces and life scenes all at once. Most of what I recall are the faces of past coworkers, bosses and students. All memories of my time spent teaching. 

OBE 

The strange blast of memories led me to realize I was dreaming. There was the familiar feeling of being OOB – heavy yet mobile, as if something was weighing me down. Sleep maybe?

I immediately shifted away from the strange memory daze I was in. 

I found myself in a place that was not my bedroom, though somewhat like it. What was surprising here was how well I could see. Realizing I was OOB I moved quickly and with joy at the chance to play. I have not been OOB in some time and miss the freedom it offers.

Sadly I can’t recall what I did next only that I ended up back in my body. My heart was beating erratically but I ignored it and shifted back out. My vision was not clear at first and I closed my eyes tightly to check if I was really OOB. When I realized I was my vision returned and I could see through closed eyes.

Again my vision was full-on and I rushed out of the room and down the stairs. I attempted to fly or float down but could not lift myself up any higher than I would be able to in the physical.

At the bottom of the stairs I saw my dog, Monty. I took him with me toward the front door. My vision was fading in and out at this time and I kept reminding myself “I can see” to turn it back on.

Someone knocked on the front door and I opened it. 

Outside was an unfamiliar scene. The neighborhood street was there but it was crowded with people in cars. One car in particular had people driving it that were trying to get my attention. The car seemed incomplete, though, as if the back end was missing and it had no roof over the front. The man in the car was standing up out of the driver’s seat waving wildly at me. My dog was growling and barking. I opened the door widely to encourage Monty to go out, which he normally would do when the opportunity is offered. He didn’t budge though and backed up, hiding behind me.

I went outside, fearless, towards the car. The man inside was honking his horn and still waving. I recall turning back toward the house momentarily. I had the thought of, “What to do now?” With that thought I began to feel like a joyful and mischievous child. The clothes I was wearing suddenly felt heavy and cumbersome. I think I had on a coat. I thought, “I want to be naked” and began to happily tear my clothes off. The idea of being naked was exciting and I desperately wanted to be free of the burden of wearing all those clothes.

As I tore off the first layer my vision began to fade out and I knew I was moving back into my body. I tried to relax into it, allowing myself to return with the intent to instantly leave again. Sadly, when I returned my heart was doing odd things in my chest again and it felt very uncomfortable. There was a slight sense of breathlessness, too, which I think was the main reason I did not go OOB again.

My heart settled soon after I came firmly back into my body. I lay there a while. A song was going through my head. Specifically the lyrics, “You don’t know you’re beautiful….”

Considerations

Most of my OBEs lately seem to be odd like this one. So my best bet is to try and focus on the symbols within it.

The return to a previous dream seems to simply be a dream conversation with a guide. The feelings it provoked in me reminded me of that satisfied feeling I use to get when I was a teacher. There were times early on when my entire body would get covered in goosebumps during teaching. This always happened when my class was very engaged and interested in what I was saying. Whenever this happened I would think/feel, “This is why I’m here.”

The shelf and my focus upon it appears to symbolize something I “put on the shelf” and am now wanting to take back and focus on. Since the shelf had toiletries on it, specifically a bar of soap, perhaps I am seeking healing or cleansing?

The OBE itself seems to be mostly about me trying to remove the burdens that are weighing me down. I am easily able to manipulate my ability to see, which is a positive sign.

The car without a roof with the man in it is interesting to me. I don’t know who the man is but in a previous OBE I was warned I would meet a man who had a car that was incomplete – the rear end was missing and there was no speedometer. The warning was that he would go very fast. I believe the missing back end of the car was symbolic of “no going back” and the possibility of “high speeds”. In that past OBE I remember deciding I would stay clear of the man and in this current OBE I turned away from him despite him yelling and waving at me to come to him.

Could it be the same man? Not sure but interesting nonetheless.

Overall, I am curious about the return to the past dream and how it made me feel. Lately I have been contemplating those things in life which brought me that “covered in goosebumps” feeling. Not many things have. Teaching primarily has brought on that feeling. I only got the feeling when I was teaching certain subjects, though – spiritual and self-help topics. For example, I first felt these feeling when teaching Psychology in high school. It also occurred when speaking to groups about spiritual topics – spirit guides, meditation, mediumship, spiritual abilities – and when giving readings. Finally, it came when teaching very young children guidance lessons. Guidance lessons focus primarily on helping children learn social skills such as how not to bully, speak over others, tattle, etc. With the little ones I think the feeling came from mostly from their openness and complete joy at being with me; full acceptance and connection.

My current life and career is devoid of such feelings. Completely lacking.

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OBE: Impressionable

It has been an eventful few days. It feels like some major shifts are underway, and not just energetically.

First, I’ve had some developments in terms of my spiritual services. For the first time in a while I did a session in my own home. I smudged the entire home first and then set up an area downstairs. The energy felt very good and balanced and the session went well. With my children gone at school all day I can return to offering my services in-person and so this was the first step in doing that.

Another interesting development was that yesterday I was offered a part-time personal training job at the YMCA. I applied back at the end of September and out of the blue they called, interviewed and offered me a job on the spot. I have yet to receive the paperwork I need to complete but feel like this is an opportunity to go in a new direction if I want.

Spiritually, yesterday I felt strong energy in my third-eye. It has been such a long time since I have experienced that, so it was nice! I have been feeling less and less anxious, too, which is wonderful and could indicate a successful clearing of a stubborn blockage.

Then last night I had an unexpected OBE followed by a dream where I was given a message.

OBE: Impressionable

I had a few exits from my body. When I exited the first time, I went out my bedroom door and was pull right back into my body. The second time I felt like I had blankets wrapped around my feet. I kicked them off and headed out into the hallway. I tried to look at my hands to solidify my energy, but couldn’t see them. My vision would not turn on. My energy felt odd, too – not heavy, not unstable, just different. I remained in this portion of the astral for a while but I don’t remember much now. I think I ran into my middle son, though. I also believe I made it outside because that is where I was when I went back to my body.

On my third exit I came out of my body feeling much more stable. I could see but it was dark in my bedroom. I moved through the hallway and down the stairs where I encountered my sons. They were very active, like flying in zigzags around me similar to how they act when they are playing. I invited them to come outside with me and they did.

Outside it was dark and unfamiliar. The streets were there but not in the right place. I recall walking down the street with my son when I saw a young man walking toward us. He had on a hooded sweatshirt and was no one I knew. I approached him and asked him who he was. I suspected he was not real but when he responded intelligently I remember correcting myself aloud saying, “Oh, you aren’t a ghost” or something similar.

Then a strange looking vehicle came to pick up the young man. It was triangle shaped and low to the ground. The top of the triangle was the roof and it was flat. I jumped on top of it and sat down, noticing the two doors hinged open, connected the the top. I said, “Wow! We must be in the future!” I don’t recall if the vehicle had wheels. I don’t think so.

Then my vision began to fade out and I felt like I was going to go back to my body. I didn’t want this so remember talking to myself about how to get more stable. I began to look up at the sky, which I couldn’t see, and tell myself how I controlled my experience. I said, “The sky is beautiful” and imagined a colorful sunrise/sunset with oranges and yellows, fluffy clouds, etc. To my surprise the picture manifested, chasing away the darkness. I floated face up there a while marveling at the sky.

To my surprise, my vision blacked out for a while and I felt myself making a shift. When my vision returned I was inside a room full of individual, divided desks like you would see at a testing center. Some of the desks had people sitting at them. I walked around the room, seemingly talking to myself about whether I had time to do what I needed to and decisions that needed to be made. I can’t recall now what it was, though. It felt like I was being asked to make an appointment. Maybe to take a test or be evaluated? Whatever it was, it felt like I was seeking counsel.

The room layout had the desks in a U-shaped format and as I walked back around to the start of it I encountered a woman sitting at a desk. Her location in the room made her seem like a proctor or at the very least a teacher. When I saw her my entire OBE solidified instantly. Her face became the focal point, crystal clear in my vision to the point that I do not even remember her having a body. When I saw her I studied her face a while and thought to myself, “I know her.” She was about my age, plain looking with her brown hair pulled back tightly around her face. Her face was oval with a prominent chin. She had brown eyes and thin lips.

She spoke to me. “You’re impressionable,” she said matter-of-factly. I was still staring at her marveling at how crystal clear she was and how real the experience was.

A female voice from behind me said, “You’re suppose to be here to help.” I glanced behind me and saw the voice came from a student dressed in plain clothing that looked like a uniform.

I responded to both of them with, “I’m definitely not very welcoming.” I smiled, laughing a bit but they did not laugh. Realizing this was “serious” I focused back on the woman.

She said to me, “You still have a little time left.” As she said this, she turned to a bulletin board as if showing me something, but I didn’t look at the board so I don’t know if it had any information on it pertaining to me.

I woke not long after the last message. I returned to my body slowly and recall not resisting it. A part of me wanted to wake up.

Message

It was 4:30am. I couldn’t return to sleep after that. There was more to the words throughout this interaction. Most of it was unsaid; telepathic. I was going over and over the memory. I knew I needed to remember.

When I was told I was impressionable I felt like it had to do with life distracting me. Physical life changes my personality. I go from free-loving, free-flowing, open and positive to overly serious and easily bogged down by things that are not really important. However, upon further inspection, it could have been that she wanted me to know that I am open or receptive right now.

When I was reminded that I am here to help, I recall thinking I was suppose to be “welcoming” others to Earth. There was more a feeling of this than a thought. A visual comes to mind. I am standing, waiting at the threshold between the old and the new Earth. People come through this opening or gate and I welcome them. These people are just waking up. It feels like my job is to greet and direct them on to their destination. I knew I was not doing a good job of it, which is why I laughed saying I was not very welcoming.

I am then reminded that I chose to stay a bit longer. My previous dream comes to mind where I felt I was given an option to stay here and continue this life/work or go to a healing place and resume my work as a teacher. How much time “a little time” is, I don’t know.

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Dream: Godmother

Somehow I managed to fall asleep and entered into a semi-lucid dream at my grandparent’s old house. Inside it looked more like a doctor’s office, though. I was taken to a room, which had a patient chair draped in white, and directed to lay on it. I did as I was told. An older woman with gray hair entered the room. I called her by name but all I remember of the name is “Godmother”. The woman began to tell me things about another person, things I needed to know in order to help them. The person was male but she never gave a name. She told me that he was likely to fixate on something. All I remember of the details are images that resembled a calendar with weeks highlighted. It felt like he would be fixated on something for weeks. I remember feeling a bit out of it during this time, like I was in a trance or like I was not meant to remember the details so my memory was wiped or a block was placed.

The woman left and I realized she had never told me his name. I got up and followed her. When I saw her I tapped her on the back to get her attention. When she turned around she looked different, old and gray but different, but I knew it was still her. I said, “What is his name? You never told me his name?” She said, “How should I know?” I said, “How am I suppose to help him if I don’t know his name?” She never answered and I shifted into another dream.

 

 

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OBE: Flooding

It’s been cold here in Texas with temperatures dropping overnight, the high’s went from the 90’s to the 50’s. Typical for Texas Fall weather but always a shock when it happens.

Thankfully, the cooler weather makes perfect running weather. My husband and I took a nice, easy, 3.2 mile run together and I experienced no heart speed-ups or panic. I felt wonderful afterward. 🙂

In general I’ve been feeling much better than I was in August and September. I’m sleeping really well and my dream experiences have been mostly positive. I have had two Kundalini-type dreams, too. I have not written about them because they were nothing special, but wanted to mention it anyway because it seems related to the recent shift in energy.

Last night was a busy night dream-wise. I blame the full moon.

Dream: Spiked Fuel

I was at an unfamiliar house. My sister, her son and my mom were there. My sister was letting her son stay home from school. He was pretending to be sick and she was making a fuss over his “illness”.

At some point I was watching as my cousin, my sister’s husband, came to drive them home. I watched as he put whiskey or some similar alcohol into the tank of the car and then he drank some of the spike fuel. I remember knowing he was drinking excessively and practically drunk all the time. It worried me and I wondered if he would get sick, but he didn’t. They ended up driving away in the vehicle, leaving their son behind.

Lucid Dream: Addicts

I woke up briefly. Thoughts of the previous dream were going through my head. I was wondering if it was a message to be on alert for addictive behavior. My sister and her husband have both struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, so it wouldn’t surprise me.

I entered into a dream where I was watching celebrities deal with their addict spouses. In one scene I watched Brad Pitt sitting in a limo, his wife on the opposite side of the car. He was listening to his wife tell him she was sorry and how she would fix it, etc. I was hovering nearby and whispered to him as he was about to speak to her, “Wait. Don’t let her manipulate you again.” He stopped and looked at her. She looked back and the silence between them was deafening. I put my hand on her shoulder and told her I understood. I wondered if she could feel me.

In another scene I watched as Madonna got off a van with another woman. She immediately took the woman’s hand and walked proudly beside her through a crowd of reporters. Again, I knew the issue was addiction and that Madonna was standing beside this woman, supporting her and showing the world through her actions.

OBE: Flooding

I became aware of laying in my bed on my back. I could feel how relaxed I was. I thought, “I want to go OOB.” Then I waited for the vibrations to come, which they did. Several times I had to remind myself, “Not yet” before the vibrations were just right for exit. Then I sat up out of my body.

My vision and perceptions were immediately available to me. I noticed the room was well lit and went directly to the door and out into the hallway. The lights were on downstairs and I could hear my family talking. I went to the stairs and jumped down. I could feel the sensation of falling, which was a surprise. When I landed I saw my youngest crawling around on the living room floor. He was still a baby and was wearing funny little glasses that looked to have a price tag on them. He saw me and crawled toward me. I remember thinking, “I must have gone to the past. Wow!”

I turned around to see my family whose voices I could still hear in the background. I saw my daughter and other son just as they appeared around 2014.

Rather than become distracted by the indoor scene, I walked past my son who was still crawling around happily on the floor, and went out the front door. Outside it was bright but the scene was very different than reality. My attention went to the ground which at first resembled a swamp. I remember saying, “It’s a swamp!” I slowly flew around looking down at it and then decided to look at my hands and said, “I need more clarity.” Then I said to my Higher Self, “Show me what I need to see.”

I continued to fly forward and look around. Where my front yard would normally be was high water flowing swiftly and separated by tufts of long grass. It looked like what happens when the water level rises and flood a normally dry area of land. As I looked in front of me I saw people in vehicles driving through the water. By this time the water was so high that all I could see were the tops of the cars, the water stopping just under the windows.

Unconcerned about what I was seeing, I began to fly further out, touching the water with my toes and noticing it was cold. Around this time I began to notice my physical body and could both hear and feel myself breathing. It was distracting and I tried to ignore it but the breathing sound was very loud and I could feel how uncomfortable my body was.

By this time I was in the water and turned around to float on my back. Looking up at the sky my vision started to go out. First in one eye, my right one, and then slowly in my left. My breathing was so loud by this time that it reminded me of Darth Vader in Star Wars. lol

I didn’t fight the loss of my vision and just floated in the water until I felt my astral body hit something. I was no longer in deep water and could stand up, but instead of getting up I ended up coming back into my body.

Music Message

When I woke up my nose was clogged and my body was very uncomfortable. No wonder it woke me up!

I was thinking of my sister and her family again. A song was going through my head that I know is a message about them. I was hearing, “Well you look like yourself but your somebody else, only it ain’t on the surface.”:

I couldn’t help but think about one of my OBE’s from long ago. It was one of the only times I met my deceased father while OOB. The entire OBE my father was talking to me about my sister, warning me of “difficult times” that she would go through. It was the oddest thing because I was so excited to see him, hug him, be with him, that I didn’t think anything of him talking about my sister the entire time until I woke up. Sure enough, she has been on a very difficult path ever since.

And here, yet again, it seems that I am being warned of something to come. First the dream of “spiked fuel” and my sister and her husband leaving their son behind. Then the dream of two addicts, one indicating that support is needed. And finally the OBE of a flood which is all about emotions and highly emotional situations.

After recalling that OBE with my father, I wondered to myself, “What was I suppose to do when I had no idea what “difficult times” meant?” It’s not like I was shown what exactly would happen. I couldn’t warn my sister by telling her what to look out for. And so, if this dream and OBE sequence is similar, I don’t know what I am suppose to do with the information. Anyway, it seems like all my sister experiences since that time are “difficult situations”. I guess all I can do is be there to support her when she needs it.

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2 OBES and Messages

Quick update on my CBD oil experience. I decided to try one last time to see if I could cut out the uncomfortable side-effects I was experiencing – low blood pressure, exhaustion, dry mouth (and eyes), stomach issues, diarrhea. I opted to just take six drops of CBD oil before bed. I had no side-effects and still experienced a slight calm but nothing significant. I had no side-effects at all. The next day I took four drops in the morning and then six at night. Again, no side-effects and a slight sense of calm. I slept soundly but it took me a while to fall asleep. Last night, I upped the dose to 10 drops and felt a more significant calm and experienced the energy around my third-eye and crown along with a subtle heaviness. However, it did not help me fall asleep. It took me until midnight to fall asleep but once I fell asleep I did not wake up again until 6am. Still no uncomfortable side-effects as of yet.

So it looks like I was just taking way too much of a high concentration. 🙂 I can’t say it is helping with my anxiety too much, though, because I had a small panic attack toward the end of my workout yesterday. It was just slightly higher heart rate and a little bit of worry lasting only about 5-10 minutes. Very mild.

Dream: Washing My Hair

I woke in the dream, got out of bed and went into the bathroom to wash my hair (beginning anew). I remember being a bit confused but knowing I needed to get ready for family photos. I stood by the sink and began to put shampoo into my hair when I realized I was naked except for my socks (protection). I was going to get into the shower but decided to put some conditioning oil into my hair instead.

Then I was driving along a dark, two-lane road, hair still full of shampoo. I could feel my hair piled on top of my head, heavy with shampoo. I wondered, “Why am I driving? Where am I going?” I had no idea where I was. It was dark and there were no other cars on the road. Then I couldn’t remember what day it was. I just could not remember. It brought on lucidity all at once but before I could take control of the dream I remembered it was Saturday and I woke up.

OBE: Toothless Man

I turned to the clock: 6am. I tried to sleep but it took a while.

The next thing I remember is hearing people talking to each other as if I was listening to a radio show. A man and a woman were talking and I could hear them clear as day. I have no idea now what they were talking about but at the time it was easy to understand them.

I knew that hearing them meant I could exit my body. I remember thinking, “I don’t want to just lay here listening to these people.” For some reason I returned to my early days of OOB travel and began to rock back and forth until I came out of my body. When I was out I was completely wrapped up in my blanket (protection) and could not get it off of me. This shifted me back into my body.

Back in my body I began to rock back and forth again. It took very little effort to get OOB. This time I was standing next to my bed. The blanket was just on my foot and came off easily. I remember reminding myself that the blanket was not real, which is why it released so easily.

I went to the door and out into the open room beyond. The space was brightly lit and there was weight lifting racks where there shouldn’t be. There were four people there, three I seemed to know and another I didn’t recognize. He was tall with dark brown hair that sorta curled around his ears and neck. I went up to him and said, “Hey, who are you? Why are you here?” He smiled a toothless grin. He was missing his two front teeth (insecurity). Though he seemed a bit creepy he didn’t scare me.

He said something to me like, “Don’t you know?” but I can’t remember what all he said now. Whatever he said put me at ease and for some strange reason I lifted my shirt and said something I can’t remember now. I felt a bit like a child showing off. He laughed and for some reason he seemed gigantic to me, towering over me as if he were 7 feet tall. I said, “Why am I so small?”

Suddenly, my perspective shifted and with that I decided to leave. I went through an opening in the stair rail (which even a small child would not fit through) and flew down the stairs. At the bottom I saw my middle son and his cousin but they looked almost like twins. I said, “Hey let’s go outside.”

We flew through the front door and outside. My son ran off quite quickly and I followed him trying to keep up. I turned and called to his cousin who was standing at the front door crying. I called to my son to wait but he kept going.

Outside it was day but then quickly began to get dark. I believe this was the result of my being unable to keep my vibration up high enough. I stopped in the middle of the road and began to fly up towards the sky. My vision came in and out as I floated. The feeling of floating was wonderful and I fell into it, enjoying it and hoping to be pulled up and into another scene, which often happens. Instead, it felt like I bumped into something.

This is when I began to slowly trickle back into my sleeping body. It was so slow that it felt very odd when I finally returned, kinda like I was being shaken from the inside very rigorously. At first I thought it must be my heart was beating irregularly but when I checked my pulse it was slow and steady.

OBE: Laura 

I had a very short OBE the night before but did not have time to write about it.

Before the OBE I was in a dream house sitting at a desk with a computer (communication). This was my work station and my boss sat at a desk behind me. I remember my computer kept needing to be charged (healing, needing energy). Then the teacher left at 9pm. I got up to get a snack out of tiny fridge but there were only grapes (abundance, success) and apple (security) juice inside. There were sandwiches (wholeness) behind the left door but it was stuck.

My husband and kids came inside with sodas. My husband shakes a soda as a joke and then spews it into the trashcan. They all laugh. I am concerned about the mess.

I then stare through the window at a beautiful scene of wildflowers and butterflies. I end up being pulled through the window into the flowers scene. I stand gazing in awe at how beautiful the field of flowers is and think, “Wow! This is our yard?”. Then I walk around to the right by a huge oak and the scene shifts. Everything looks gray and dying. The tree has no leaves. I turn back and the scene is beautiful again. I note the perspective shift and recognize the message, “It is all about perspective.”

I opt to stay below the huge oak looking for butterflies. I see one flying toward me and get out my camera to take picture. It flies into my face and I see it doesn’t look like any butterfly I’ve ever seen. It has red, bat shaped wings and a red, ant-like body. It is quite ugly and somewhat sinister.

I go inside and sit on the sofa to review the footage I got of the strange butterfly. The same butterfly follows me and flies into my face again. This time it shifts me OOB and I find myself floating in a different scene. I see a young woman floating nearby and she says, “Come on!” I feel her excitement and know that she is inviting me to explore with her. I smile and immediately fly toward her. When I get to her I hug her and call her name, “Laura!!” She grabs my hand to pull me with her. I go but wonder what she just said and ask her to repeat it. She laughs and says, “Come on!”

My questioning who this woman is causes me to shift back into my body. I feel the shift but allow the dream to continue. I watch the video footage of the butterfly and see how I caught the moment I went OOB. I can see my shift through a portal. It looks like arches of reddish hued moving energy. I am fascinated.

Then someone places a book in my lap and tells me that I need to select a symbol as my protector. I understand somehow that it is necessary but don’t know why. It feels like a game and I happily sift through the book to look for a symbol for myself. I see all kinds of brightly colored images of Beings, some mythical, some of Knights, some of Beings I have no name for. The Beings shift forward and then backward and flip upside down and I hear, “You need to know your symbol in and out, forward and backwards.” I think, “Okay….” Then the symbols shift to black and white simple images like diamonds, shamrocks, hearts, etc. I remember closing the book and thinking, “My symbol isn’t here.”

The book vanished and in front of me is a picture of a family. They are dark skinned and all look identical. I remember knowing it was a message, too, that we are “all the same”. I thoroughly digested this tidbit of information with the eagerness of a child devouring cotton candy. I could literally taste the Knowledge.

I woke up knowing the dream was important so I wrote it down on a piece of paper. I did not have time to enjoy the feeling of Knowledge that I was having. It made me very happy, though.

Considerations

This last dream and OBE felt like a warning of sorts but not of something horrible of dire. Mostly it was reminding me that the perspective I take is only one and I can shift it any time. I seem to be drawn to the darker side in the dream, which isn’t a bad thing, it just IS. In this lifetime I have often found myself fascinated by the shadow side, curious to the point that I seem to want to experience it more than the Light. I do want to experience the Light as well, but the shift from one to the other is like riding a roller coaster of extremes.

The strange butterfly would then be the “dark” version of a butterfly. There is a fascination with it and for some odd reason I am reminded of the movie Legend and the “devil” with his red body, horns and hooves.

The latter part of the dream seems to indicate that it is okay to want to dive into the shadows but that I need protection to do so. I search for my symbol but it is not there. This could be that I have yet to decide on one. Then I am shown that we are all One and it feels amazing, so much so I cannot describe it except to say it has a taste like cotton candy – sweet.

The OBE thrown in there was odd. I think it was one of my FB friends but can’t be certain. It was such a short encounter but a memorable one.

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OBE: Bear

Yesterday was another rough day anxiety-wise. I felt pretty decent most of the morning. After my morning walk and a nice, high carb lunch, I decided to do my workout. Half-way through I began to feel panicky and had to stop. My heart rate stayed high but not too high and I just felt “off”. It is like my entire stomach fills with this dis-ease and that feeling moves to my chest where it feels like it begins to catch fire, but only barely, a subtle pressure in the center of my chest.

I ended up calling my husband and he came home for lunch and helped me calm down but I remained in a low-grade panicked state for several hours after that (like right on the edge and barely holding myself together). It wasn’t until around 8pm after a nice talk with a female acquaintance that I finally began to feel normal again.

By bedtime I was exhausted but I continued to feel a little too energetic so it took me a while to fall asleep. I ended up having an interesting night.

Dream – Too Old for School

Had a dream where I was getting ready to go to school with my kids but we were in my Mom’s house. I  spent a long time trying to find the right clothes (how others perceive me, outward appearance/personality). I could not find anything with short sleeves. Some of the clothing was quite dated, too.

I remember the closet was a mess with my son’s clothes strewn about mixed in with my daughter’s clothes. I eventually selected an outfit with jeans and a very fancy top, high heels and over sized glasses (not at all my style lol). When I came out my mom said I was a bit too dressed up and looked like a teacher. I saw myself then, as if I flew outside of myself to take a look. I had small lines around my eyes and mouth and looked old and tired. That’s when I realized I was too old to go to school. So I stayed and put on another outfit. This one looked like a balloon skirt and was bright aqua-blue. It made me look quite obese.

Other Experiences

In the midst of a dream I can’t recall now, I found myself enveloped in a golden light laying on my side. I remember being separated into four sections. I continued to feel whole but there were four parts of me lined up and separated. The feeling I had was pure relaxation and peace. It was like tiny sprinkles of golden energy were falling down over me. When I realized where I was a male voice said, “Don’t worry” but it was too late. I was too alert and woke up.

Another time when I woke it was from a sharp pain in my chest. It was very short-lived but enough to wake me and worry me.

OBE – Bear

I rolled over and entered a semi-lucid dream where I was sitting on a sofa and kept sneezing (getting rid of unwanted things in my life). My SIL was standing near me and asked me how long I had been sick. I told her I wasn’t sick. It was just allergies. She asked how long it had been going on and I told her since the end of August. I remember sneezing a lot and she just sat there wiping her face as if I was sneezing directly on her but I was nowhere near her.

Then I was talking to my husband. He was behind a window (new perspective) with his arms folded over it. He said his brother thought I had been trying to hack into his computer. I told him I hadn’t.

Then I was walking to his brother’s house. I walked down a sidewalk and saw a blue cell phone (communication) on the ground along with some other things. I remember thinking my BILs kids must have left it there. I almost picked it up but then opted to just leave it knowing they would come out and get it.

As I was walking I felt light and floaty. I suspected I was OOB so began to test it out by jumping into the air and trying to fly. When I didn’t hit the ground fast but instead floated a bit I launched into the air. My vision went black but I didn’t care. I stayed up in the air, happy and feeling free. Even though I knew I was OOB I had a distinctly distant feeling from the whole experience and I was able to perceive my sleeping body the entire time.

I began to spin really fast, imagining the Earth spinning on its axis. I began see bits and pieces of color as I spun. Then the whole scene lit up and I saw ahead of me a red brick building. To my right was bright green grass and a sidewalk with tall hedges. I floated up and moved over the building, enjoying the feeling of flying. There was a brief concern about my sleeping body. Would it cause my heart rate to increase? Would it be harmful? But the thought passed as quickly as it came.

When I looked down I noticed a big, black bear (strength, power, independence) nudging its way into the door of the house/apt. I yelled at him, “Hey! What do you think you are doing? You can’t go in there!” I flew over and above the bear’s head. He stopped and looked up. I lightly touched the tip of his nose, laughed and launched myself higher into the air. He followed me from below, curious, and I kept just out of his reach. The whole time I was talking to him but can’t recall my words now.

I came back into my body and my heart was pounding.

More Anxiety

My heart rate remained elevated long enough to bother me so that eventually I got out of bed. I felt the weird anxious feeling most of the day today on and off. I opted to go into the office rather than stay home because I wanted to stay close to my husband and others just in case I started to feel overwhelmed again. Thankfully, I felt pretty good at the office. Only problem was I got a splitting headache (still have it) from not drinking any coffee this morning. 😦

I had my husband drop me home after lunch so I could be home when the kids got home from school. My headache got really bad and so I got into bed to rest. I ended up taking an hour long nap! Not like me! I feel somewhat better now but the headache is still there. Oh well.

It is funny to me how wonderful I feel when the anxiety dissipates. I suddenly feel a burst of energy and relief, as if I am freed from chains. When the anxiety is high I feel trapped by it, unable to go places or do things I would normally do for fear that I will freak out, pass out or burst into tears. Where I am normally a person who likes my alone time, when my anxiety is high I actively seek out others, especially my family. My husband has been very patient and sympathetic, coming whenever I call, driving me places and trying to distract me.

The anxiety makes me feel like a scared little girl and the entire world is suddenly full of things that could hurt me. It is so weird! I have to really work hard not to get caught up in “what if” thoughts – what if the panic never goes away? What if I can’t drive anymore? What if I can’t function anymore? Then it just vanishes and I am free and feeling I can do anything and everything again. And then the switch flips and it starts all over again.

I hope my dreams are indicative of how this all will end – that it will end. To anyone who suffers from generalized anxiety disorder, I FEEL YA!

 

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Dream: Snow in the Summer

Some dream experiences to share.

False Awakening

I woke at 5am to a noise. I went to explore what it was and saw my husband up working on our downstairs bathroom remodel which we started over the weekend. Relieved, I returned to bed.

The next thing I remember is hearing the show Good Morning America playing loudly. It was the start of the show where they were giving the date and time. All I can recall was that they said it was close to 9am. My thoughts were on the time it had been when I got back into bed. Surely it was not already 9!

I got out of bed feeling very drowsy, stood near the end of the bed and looked back at the  clock on the nightstand. It did not say 9am. It was closer to 5:30.

Now unconcerned about the time, I went over to the window to look outside. To my surprise, the window was covered in black worms with rounded heads that resembled those of a beetle. Fascinated, I watched them crawling around on the glass. They appeared to be mating but rather than connect via the abdomen they were connecting at the head. I spoke to the worm things and then to myself. I remember asking my physical body why it was not working properly and requesting that it feel.

With this request energy began rising very physically through my body. All the while I am focusing on these black worm things that were rapidly squirming about mating with each other’s heads. lol

I woke suddenly, a bit disoriented because I didn’t realize I had been asleep. I must have been OOB but not lucid enough to catch on. I mentally kicked myself for not taking advantage of it.

Dream: Snow in the Summer

I was with my family in a house. We were getting ready to go to a gathering in town. I knew we had moved to Montana. It was summer.

When we went outside we were surprised to find it had snowed. About two feet of pure, white snow covered everything. It was unusual because it was still summer.

We got into our minivan and drove on roads covered in the snow. I was a bit worried because the car swerved a bit, but all was fine.

When we got to our destination it was full of people who were part of a church. They greeted us and talked to us about our move and how we were liking things.

As we mingled the weather shifted and a light rain began to fall over the top of the snow. I remember thinking it was good because it would help clear the snow off the roads.

Interpretation

The false awakening seems to have been about me trying to get a handle on my body. The radio playing was the first clue that I was OOB because it is typical of “noises off” one hears as they are primed for exiting the body. I also find it interesting that it was saying “good morning”. 🙂 The worms could represent the Kundalini. Their strange mating behaviors could be symbolic of a shift in perspective. The window they were are in a “window” to that perspective. The energy then rises and wakes me and only then did I realize I had been dreaming and OOB. This is very unusual for me because I am pretty sensitive to shifts during dream time, especially those indicating I am OOB. My best guess is I was just too tired. My body needed the rest.

The second dream about moving to Montana is the second of its kind in a month (maybe less). Montana means “Mountains” and mountains are representative of the journey. I always see it as a spiritual journey but it can be any journey, really.

Snow in summer is a bit harder to interpret. Snow in the condition this snow was – white, fluffy, new – is about healing, finding deep, emotional peace and psychological clearing. So good sign! Summer is the season of rest, relaxation and enjoyment. It can also represent mid-life. The light rain likely symbolizes clearing as it was gentle and non-disruptive. In the dream I remember thinking it would help clear the roads, which I think perfectly describes the symbolism.

 

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OBE: Select

Strange morning. Prior to sleep, during my meditation, I asked to merge with my Higher Self. This came out of the blue and was not my original intention but I stuck with it. It felt right. I figured my HS might be able to give me some answers.

Dream: Becoming Lucid

I was in a small room in bed (wanting to make a change but feeling something is stopping me). A young woman and her friend were getting ready to go workout at the gym. I recall telling them about the new gym (message to take care of myself) arrangement and a visual of a small gym space, like a home gym, came to mind. The floors were black rubber and all the equipment was moved to one end leaving a large open space. I remember saying the arrangement was better. I told them I would join them soon but I was going to go for a 10 minute run first. But I didn’t get out of bed. I felt drowsy and sluggish.

Then it seemed like the room was a bathroom (healing, release). My friends were outside the door calling for me. I told them I was using the bathroom but then looked at the toilet and the top of it was flush with the floor. It looked like someone had pushed it down to create a squat toilet. I mentioned it and a woman popped her head in the door and laughed saying I would have to squat. I said, “I guess I will have to squat then”. Then a man also peeked in and I knew the two were coworkers – both doctors in training. A flash of a previous dream where I was an intern with them came to mind and I recognized how I knew them.

The scene shifted and I was watching a man walking up spiral stairs carrying a load of tree branches (period of dormancy). A woman was telling him to be careful. The scene around was a busy city street and the man seemed to be coming from underground up through a circular hole similar to a well.

Then I saw a man walking around without a top on and wearing a long, flowing skirt. At the same time it felt like me.  Then I was in the body. I saw myself as female. The cars driving past were honking and I was trying to cover myself with a white, button up shirt as fast as I could. Then I looked down at my lower half and thought, “A man wearing a skirt. Hmmmm.”

The wrongness brought about some lucidity and I became aware that I was having a conversation in the background of the dream. I recall the details of the conversation but won’t share it at this time as it is private. The memory I have of where I was during this conversation is of total darkness. There were also visuals that went along with the conversation, like I was watching a movie.

The topic brought on full lucidity and I began to ask aloud where someone was. I began to search. I entered a place that looked to be from a cartoon. Everything was drawn and in vivid color. There was a white van (heavy workload, progress in life) and I flew around it investigating while still looking for someone.

Then I was flying down a path with trees on either side. Ahead it looked like a tunnel and the colors faded into black the farther I traveled. I was still looking for someone but at this point realized I could sense my sleeping body.

OBE: Select

I temporarily shifted to my body as soon I made the decision to go OOB. Then I was in total darkness. I could sense my bedroom and bed. The transition OOB was flawless and I began to move down stairs. There was absolutely no strange, heavy energy and I struggled to believe I was in an OBE. I couldn’t see and was saying aloud, “My kids can’t see me” because I was worried they would interfere. My old dog, Trooper, was running beside me whining excitedly.

When I got downstairs, Trooper ran to the door and I began to see with clarity but only with my left eye (feminine side). I saw him waiting at the door. I opened it and found another, larger, white door (portal) behind it. The door opened, Trooper ran out happily, and I followed.

Outside it was not my front yard. Instead it was an entire town with rows of buildings and a long city street. I could see Trooper in the distance and I flew to catch up but encountered many bare tree branches (period of dormancy). I flew through and above them, grabbing onto the tops of the trees to keep from going up too far. As I flew, I looked at the city streets below me. I could see many people walking along the streets. Some looked up at me, but they looked strange. The ones I remember were bald, wearing black suits and had pale white skin. I also think they had on black sunglasses but it was overcast.

My intention was to follow Trooper but I remembered too much, it felt too real, and my awareness was increasing quickly. Before I knew it was I was sucked back toward my sleeping body but the experience did not end. Instead the scene shifted and I was looking inside an open refrigerator (cold, no change). The conversation from before resumed and I saw a hand reach into the fridge and pull out a bottle of Ranch dressing (improvement upon something). I tried to read the label and heard a man say, “Select.”

I came back to my body slowly after that. It felt like I floated in and out of my body for a time. There was a nice, heavy, comforting feeling about it so I lingered in that feeling for a while.

When I woke a song was going through my head. These lyrics specifically: “I’d say I told you so but you just wanna cry. You just wanna know those peanut butter vibes.”

Considerations

The overall feeling of the dream and OBE is that I am in a period of dormancy and renewal. As a season, I would be in Winter, so no new growth is going on. Instead I am resting or hibernating. The message at the end seems to indicate a decision needs to be made in order to improve my life conditions.

As far as merging with my Higher Self, I don’t feel like that happened, at least not in the way I wanted it to.