Tag Archives: path

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Opening the Box

Joy is returning little by little.

While I was undergoing my purification, I met some interesting people who opened me up to an entirely new world, the world of business and marketing. Interestingly, a couple of days before meeting them I was asked by my Companion, “What do you want?” and I replied, “Lots of money without lots of work. I want to spend time with my children and pursue my interests”. I had said it before, but this particular instance felt different somehow. I felt it was possible. When I met these people a couple of days later I felt it again.

Since that meeting, I have watched in awe as the path opened up before me, a path I have little to no experience treading. In fact, my entire life I have shied away from starting my own business because of the fear of failure. I watched my father go bankrupt from a failed business and was raised by a mother who pushed her children along the path of “stability” via a career working for others. I tried once to start my own spiritual business but failed for many reasons, non of which I could have avoided at that particular time in my life.

But now, here I am again, looking out of this “box” of protection I have had around me at a possibility. It was always there but I never truly looked at it. Now for some reason when I look I see something different. Instead of fear, I see abundance, expansion, creativity, joy and freedom. Not only that, I feel all those things, too.

Fear is still there. It comes in the form of thoughts that say, “This won’t work” or “Why bother?” or “You don’t know what you are doing”, and more. At first I listened to those thoughts and felt depressed and ready to quit. In fact, each night, after hours of planning, research and focus on my new business venture, I went to bed and these thoughts took over. But in the end and by the time I wake each morning I hear/know that all I have to do is keep going, taking the next step, and the next, and the next. It works. The voices disappear and I am a focused creator.

Today I feel accomplished and excited. My husband is helping me and to work alongside him toward a mutual goal, one that will free us from the very things we feel burdened by, is an amazing feeling. It’s even more awesome to see his interest and excitement matches mine.

What ultimately is allowing me to feel this amazing despite following a completely new path is that I am allowing all potentialities to exist – even failure – and not caring that I may not know what is around the corner. This business may fail, but if I don’t try I fail anyway. I have nothing to lose.

My husband and I are already picking a name. I can’t share it here yet but in the process of brainstorming I remembered a name I had picked out years ago when I first began thinking of the possibility of opening my own business. When I told my husband the name and its origin, he immediately agreed it was the perfect name. To see the name written down again filled me with knowing of its rightness, of the rightness of all of this.

It is a wonderfully alive feeling.

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Ancient Oak

I am being asked to consider making a change in my life. This is not a change I am against, by any means, but I recognized early on that this change might be cause for disagreement within my family unit. I have had a sequence of dreams recently that confirms my above suspicions.

Lost Shoes

In this particular dream I found myself looking for a pair of shoes and not being able to find them in my “new” closet. I then searched in my “old” closet and noticed immediately that the clothes hanging in that closet were not my own but the clothes of my baby and children. I quickly located my shoes high up on the shelf and picked up the pair I had been missing and took it to the “new” closet which was located in another room along with my adult clothing.

The symbolism here is interesting. Closets can symbolize and actual coming out of the closet as they typically represent a hidden aspect of one’s self. Searching for lost shoes symbolizes actual searching for one’s self. I seem to have misplaced “myself” within the role of mother and forgotten the other part of me. In the dream I am looking for a part of me I misplaced for a short time.

oak Ancient Oak

In this dream I was learning to become a hairdresser and was meeting my partner and a mentor. Our mentor told us we had been selected to learn from her and that our internship would last two years. She referred to a very old oak tree when discussing our selection saying that it had stood through the ages and through many similar students. I recall staring up at this towering, ancient and awesome tree and being in awe of it. She said that it was in danger of being cut down, though.

Later my partner, who arrived to work before me and stayed many hours longer than me, shot her partner dead in front of me and said something like, “There, that needed to be done”. I remember being astonished in the dream at her blunt, unemotional reaction.

The symbolism here is quite direct. An internship is representative of going to school and learning new lessons in life. Being a hairdresser represents one’s self-image. I am literally learning how to become myself. The oak tree symbolizes stability, endurance and wisdom. It also indicates success is at hand. The incident of my partner killing her husband indicates anger or frustration toward an individual of a similar description in waking life.

Research

An idea had come to me last week which I resisted and it presented itself yet again this morning but in another form. I knew where to focus my attention: transpersonal psychology.

In my research I discovered a couple of universities that offered this degree and certificates relating to it. However, the one that caught my attention was Atlantic University which was formed by Edgar Cayce in 1930.

I did not go searching for this place, I just stumbled upon it. I was at first interested in the spiritual guidance mentor certificate; however, I found the graduate certificate in Integrated Imagery – Regression Hypnosis and wanted immediately to do it. Then I realized: this will not be something my husband agrees with. Not at all.

That is when the second dream made complete sense to me.

The other option I was considering prior to my research today was one that would be more acceptable to my husband. I would do it except it limits the number of people I can help and also limits my income. I wish to be accessible to others while also making a living.

Rather than panic over the whole idea, I am putting it on the shelf for now. I am sure that an option will reveal itself that is suitable to my situation.