Tag Archives: personal

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Seek and Destroy

I am back in session. This time I am seeking out the last remnants my past that have a hold on me. The current step is confronting change. Changes I wanted. Changes I didn’t want. Changes I tried to make happen that didn’t. Changes that happened to others. Changes that were expected and those that were unexpected.

So far, I am finding that I am not a prisoner of change. This is refreshing and gives me hope. Change in inevitable and the more you resist, the harder it is on you. I have learned this lesson time and time again. I feel like an old pro.

The next step is eradicating old, defective, destructive and illogical belief systems. This one will be harder. I am certain my eyes will be opened to beliefs I didn’t even know I had. I will share those with you when the time comes. It will be very soon.

For now, I will share with you my current wins which are that in looking back at very upsetting, emotionally tumultuous times in my life (parent’s divorce, my own divorce, death, etc) I can say with 100% certainty that these events no longer have any hold over me. I can (and did) look at these events, see the lessons learned, and appreciate them for what they contributed to me as a person and as a soul. There are no regrets. There are no more tears. There is no more hatred or guilt. I feel completely freed.

I have not done this with past lives. Yet. But to be freed from the current life is a huge step in itself and clears the path to the bigger one. I am ready.

The Super Power You

With many on this opening up to their HIgher Self, this “ascension” and Shift, much of the changes come on without any prompting. The individual does not always want nor are they always willing to endure the transformation. This resistance builds, even without the person wanting it, because of fear of what is next and what “ascension” means. I have been there.

The fear of the unknown, I believe, is perhaps the worst. But there comes a time when you realize that nothing is truly unknown and there is nothing to fear at all of who you are transforming into. It is just You. It isn’t some new person with superpowers and sudden ability to dematerialize into thin air in broad daylight. Yeah, okay, maybe some say they have dematerialized, but it isn’t a literal loss of the physical body into tiny particles that sparkle and fly away (wouldn’t that be cool, though!). It is transcending the physical body via the consciousness, via the other subtle energy bodies that we have available to us.

The final end product of all this hoopla is that you become MORE YOU, the FULL YOU. That isn’t scary, is it? However, you can’t do that by force. Some part of it, at some point, will have to be initiated by you. Your participation is necessary. If you resist, if you say to your Higher Self, “I want no part in this”, then you will slow down and ultimately it could be that you defer your shift to another life. This doesn’t mean you fail, it just means you wait.

I don’t want to wait. So I am going to participate. I am going to battle my demons head first. I want to clear that path to my Self as best I can and I now feel totally, 100%, capable of doing so. Because I have learned it was me, all along, that was “forcing” this transformation upon me.

Do you really want to fight yourself?

Change perspective. Shift with the shift. It will flow so much better and life will transform before your eyes. This is the “super power” You. It is that simple.

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Synchronicity and the Current Surge

Yesterday I felt the energy shifting in the afternoon. The first time it began to be noticeable I was in the midst of a conversation. A coworker said to another, “It is a trifecta!” and it was as if her words echoed in my head. “How odd that she said that word!”, I thought to myself.

Synchronicity.

On the drive home the word “trifecta” came back into my mind and I was reminded that the final surge was on its way. I fell into an odd feeling that is hard to describe. I literally feel as if I am frozen in time, in that moment, while he world passes me by. Everything seems to be in slow motion. It is so surreal!

This frozen feeling was accompanied by a feeling of endings and I thought to myself almost sullenly, “Someone has died”. At that moment I noticed the heaviness of the energy. I was not the effect of it, but felt sadness for so many who are “lost” right now.

Again in the evening the feeling returned with more intensity.

The world and its population is chaotic right now. The energy is so dense and helpless. I swear I can “hear” millions crying out for help. I feel urged, almost pushed, to help.

Last night my desire to help seemed to call my guides and Council for I heard, “Do you want to help?” In that moment I realized the feelings I was intuiting were coming from many who have recently died as well as those who are soon to follow. The amount of despair was palpable as was a feeling from many who have left their earthly bodies that they were in “hell”. In reality these individuals can leave but just need a helping hand.

I replied to the question. “Yes. Can I?” I felt not quite ready for such dense, heavy energy and I knew the only way to help these stuck souls was to traverse the heavier energy of the lower astral planes.

The voice responded, “Yes”.

Whether I will begin soul retrieval is yet to be known, but it is obvious to me that at this time it is of the utmost urgency to free these individuals from their self-torment. There is something about the shifting energies that can inadvertently trap individuals at death, especially those who pass suddenly and traumatically. It is as if the mucky, density of the energy sucks them in like quicksand and the more they struggle, the more stuck they become.

If you have yet to feel the current energy surge, you are lucky. This is an especially dense and heavy energy. It will peak this weekend, so if you have already felt it, prepare yourself for more.

I wish I could say there won’t be anymore such surges, but my intuition tells me the opposite. In fact, there will be more similar surges and the intensity and density of these surges will be increasing. Yes, there will be periods of calm, where the energy lightens up, but for the most part the purging cycle of Earth necessitates these energies be sublimated and so the waves and surges of dense energy will continue until the purging is complete.

Thankfully, many have already transcended the effects of similar dense energies. If you are one of these, congratulations! You will pass through these surges of energy with merely a knowingness of it being there. Some of you may have urges, as I did, to help. I honestly believe these urges to help go hand-in-hand with transcendence.

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Sublimation of Old Earth Energies – Message from the Council of Many

The connection between myself and the Council can be felt at all times now. It is interesting to me how easily, how simply, the information flows through me.

The last phase in the Trifecta is upon us. This subtle energy has been intensifying over the last couple of days and will continue through the weekend with effects being felt as soon as tonight but most definitely by Saturday morning.This energy is of the denser frequencies; the frequency of old earth energies being burned off and sublimated.

For those of you who have been working on your lower three chakras and/or your heart chakra, these denser energies will move through these chakras initiating a reciprocal response in similar energies that still linger there. The response by individuals will vary from feeling an emotional heaviness or deep somberness, to a experiencing a higher level of fatigue and need for more hours of sleep as the body adjusts and sublimates the energy.

In those individuals who have been adjusting and aligning the higher chakra centers of the throat, third eye and crown, this final phase will bring out a deeper connection to your Higher Self, opening channels and conduits that have long remained dormant. You ability to “see” into the other realms will clarify and your Oneness will be felt with ever more certainty and resolve.

It is a time of a great sloughing off of the old and a reemergence of the You that has been forgotten. The peeling away of lifetime old layers of beingness, of masks you have worn in fear of being exposed for all you have done that you regret, is coming to an end for many who are in this phase of transformation. For others there will be a continuation in this phase for you have yet to come to an understanding of your full essence; you have yet to truly love yourself – good and bad. This cannot be forced and do not chastise yourself for not being ready yet to move into your new self.

The next phase will not be as physically challenging as it is the unfolding of your Self. It is tentative for most but be assured that you will not fail. You are like a flower bud opening for the first time. Slowly, but surely you will radiate brilliance and open fully to the light that is you.

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Vein Surgery and Recovery

Yesterday I had the Venefit Targeted Endovenous Therapy, which is just a fancy word for having vein surgery. The vein was collapsed by radiofrequency energy.

I learned a lesson in manifestation from this experience. Prior to the surgery I kept worrying over whether I should have it and when they called to confirm the appointment I actually cancelled it when they told me I would have to take antibiotics for ten days afterward. Five minutes later I had an urge to call back and when I did I spoke to a woman who reassured me that this was only precautionary. I rescheduled and it was set.

I had absolutely NO nerves or apprehension. I kept waiting for my heart to speed up or for me to get anxious, but it never happened. Never. So weird for me!

The doctor turned on a screen for me so I could watch the ultrasound of the procedure. He could not get my vein to cooperate and for about a half hour he poked and prodded in my leg. It was uncomfortable and since it was late in the day I was getting fed up. The doctor recognized this and said if he couldn’t get into the vein that he would reschedule me.

During the third try I sent to the universe this thought, “It WILL work this time because I am NOT coming back to do this again”. Literally moments after thinking this the doctor got access to the vein and the procedure continued. Amazing!

I immediately recognized the moment of manifestation and also how my indecision the last few days may have created this minor complication.

Recovery

One of my worries was that I would have a painful recovery. During the procedure I decided there would be no complications. I thought, “Recovery will be easy”. And so far, it has been. I have no bruising yet which is amazing in itself. The nurses told me usually there is already evidence of bruising at the end of the procedure. I have no swelling today, which from what they told me is uncommon. I have no pain today other than a bit of tenderness on my upper thigh when I push down on it. My son actually crawled on my leg and it didn’t hurt.

I know that this procedure will resolve most if not all of my leg aching and restlessness issues. It will also resolve the ugly vein issues and keep new veins from forming. I am so pleased!

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Cerebral Enhancement

I had difficulty sleeping last night. I meditated prior to sleep and went into what I can only call a “space” where I had no memory of thought or action or anything, yet I was not OOB nor was I dreaming. I felt subtle vibrations in and around my entire head but they were not overpowering, just gentle and relaxing.

I came out of my reverie and felt much time had passed but upon seeing the clock realized it had only been 30 minutes. Where had I gone to? I had no memory. Weird.

I attempted to sleep after that and the next hour or so I found myself in a state I have never before experienced. I was in the in-between, which is common for me, but instead of moving into the dream world as usual, I stayed there right on the edge. The typical dream thoughts and images would begin to form as is usual when I begin to fall asleep. What is odd here is that when these thoughts began to manifest, just as I would recognize a sentence or pattern, I would be jolted with an electrical current through my mind that would literally shake my awareness, throwing the stream of thought out of alignment and giving me a feeling of disorientation.

These “jolts” would pull me out of the in-between and I would have to return to a state of no-thought in order for the electrical current to fade. I want to emphasize here that the jolts of energy were not comfortable. It made me feel disoriented and unsettled to the point that I began to feel symptoms in my second and third chakras similar to nausea, but not physical. It was like spiritual nausea. Additionally, my head felt expansive and full of many currents of energy coming from more than one direction. It is as if I was being injected with energy from several vantage points outside of my physical body. When these currents would “jolt” me it was when they made contact with my thoughts. If there were no thoughts, there would be no jolt or uncomfortable symptoms.

After being jolted multiple times I finally appealed to my guides for help saying, “I want to sleep! What is happening?” I got the response, “Sleep”, along with a comforting feeling saying all was okay. I was so tired by this point that I must have been able to ignore any additional jolts because I fell asleep.

Cerebral Enhancement

This morning the memory is still vivid of these uncomfortable jolts of energy. I requested an explanation and this is what I was told:

You are undergoing a cerebral enhancement and reorganization. It is unfortunate that you were witness to these enhancements for they can be uncomfortable to the physical body. The thought patterns you witnessed forming in your mind were exposing specific pathways that needed adjustment. Once this reorganization is complete you will have better control over your mental processes, thoughts and awareness.

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Halfway Point

I am halfway there. “There” being completely merged with my Higher Self.

How do I know this? This is what my Council tells me. It is with certainty that I know it to be true. There is so much more certainty now and so many changes materializing within me. I feel like a part of me has been freed from confinement. I feel like jumping with joy and yelling “Hallelujah!”

I wish I could accurately describe in words what is happening, what I am experiencing, but the words escape me. It is a feeling that is indescribable yet it feels so familiar, so true. It feels like I am finally becoming Me!

The calm feeling has not left. I don’t know how long it has been but it has been so normal in my daily like that I am wondering if I will ever be the old me again. I literally can see that me going away. She is vanishing. I am experiencing a vanishing of my old self. Right. Now.

I can tell you what I notice that is so different. The following is a list of the changes that are occurring:

  • My mind is quiet.
  • My emotions are stable more than varied.
  • I no longer have pangs of anxiety in my stomach or that “sinking feeling” I use to get with “bad” news.
  • I experience moments in waking life as if I am the observer.
  • I am remembering more of myself (hard to explain).
  • I am getting more “downloads” day and night and and I am noticing when this occurs.
  • I have more space; I feel expansive.
  • I spend more time in the present moment and less in the past or future.

I feel deeply connected to everything. This is the expansiveness, the space, I speak of. This connection seems to enhance my connection to my Council and Higher Self. The “downloads” (don’t know what else to call them) happen infrequently but when they do I find I am overcome with a feeling of being “paused”, like time stops in that moment. Then I “open up” and there is an expansion of awareness, an understanding that cannot be put into words, and I feel a recognition and appreciation for the experience. When it is done, it lasts only perhaps a minute or so, I feel changed though I cannot explain how.

I am told that I will soon become aware of being aware. I am also told to not worry, that this part is “easy” and though I once doubted that it would be, I am starting to think this is probably the easiest I have had it since the kundalini energy first started rising last year.

It is funny, but I am excited, though on the outside you would think I was calm or maybe contented, but definitely not excited. That is probably the most amazing part of this part of the experience for me – the level emotions! The roller coaster seems to have disappeared. But this does not mean I don’t feel, I just choose to feel what I want to feel and back off from what I don’t want to feel. Honestly, I don’t know how I am doing it and when I try to think about how it could be that I am suddenly so different, my thoughts never materialize past a mild curiosity. I note it and then, pleased, go back to silence.

I have so much more silence. I never thought my mind could be so quiet.

This is amazing!

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Surrounded in Light

I awoke at about 6am to my son crying. When I crawled back into bed I had this odd recollection of my time away from my body. It is just a glimpse, so I can’t really call it an OBE but I am certain it was one. I am certain I have been OOB quite a lot this last week, in fact, I just don’t remember.

Surrounded in Light

The memory is quite vivid for how short it is. I sense myself in a very brightly lit place. The light is so white and bright that one cannot determine which way is up or down, left or right. In this white light I am surrounded by beings. They are taller than me and I cannot see their faces but I sense them very strongly and I feel very secure and peaceful in their presence. Where their faces should be is an intensely bright yellowish-white light and it pours out of the tops of their heads blending with the blinding white that saturates the space. There is no space between these beings, either. They are so tightly drawn around me that their bodies touch and one is almost indiscernible from the other. They are wearing what appears to be long white robes and their hands are open towards me. Their is also yellowish-white bright light shooting from their hands.

I don’t know how many there are standing around me but I think the number is 10. All I recall of the experience is that I am loved and that these beings are helping me to raise my vibration.

Vibrations

In the midst of recalling this brief memory of being OOB, I am covered with vibrations. They are soothing and cover my head and chest with a vibration blanket. I feel wrapped in energy and very relaxed. I drift off into dreamland but I am very conscious of it, semi-lucid.

I find myself in a room with people around me mingling about. I instantly recognize I am dreaming and wake up suddenly, the vibrations so strong I know I will project any minute. I try to relax into the feeling but I am too aware, too conscious of my body and the paralyzing effect of the vibrations. I wonder, “Is this sleep paralysis?” and I think, “No, I can move anytime I want”. But I don’t move, I just let the vibrations continue, feeling them move horizontally and wondering why this is happening. Why can’t I just go OOB like usual? Why am I being made aware of this?

I fall into dreamland once again. This time I am aware of being inside a roller coaster car. I am being thrown by a very, very large person. Their hand cradles the car I am in and then tosses it like one would toss a pair of dice. I feel the acceleration of the car, it shifts my entire body and I brace myself for the curve I see ahead. What is odd is I see a highway overpass, not a roller coaster track. I feel literally like I am on a boomerang and the momentum instantly brings me to full awareness.

I wake up in my body, once again jolted with vibrations. I again think to myself, “Why does this keep happening? Why do I keep waking up to vibrations? I should be OOB”.

Interestingly, I am not upset that I am in my body, just perplexed. I recognize now that they (my Team) want me to be aware of the vibrational state. I wonder, “Why?” And I know they are encouraging me to exit consciously. It is time for me to familiarize myself with myself and a conscious exit will help me do this. I will have more control over my OBEs and be in the right state for whatever it is they want me to do.

Huge sigh. I have consciously exited before, years ago, but the vibrations were very, very distracting to me so I asked to remain unaware of them and leave my body via lucid dreams. It is SO much easier that way (in my opinion). I guess that is not going to happen anymore. It is good, however, that the vibrations did not cause me to get overly excited like they use to. I was curious but not overly so. This is a good sign.

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Vortex Manifestation – Message from the High Council

Today I had an interesting experience, one that has not happened to me in many years. I heard my name called. It was in a garbled, deep, masculine voice that sounded similar to my husband’s voice but the name was my original name, not the nickname my husband calls me by. I heard it and responded, “Yes?” and then felt this odd sensation that I should pay attention.

I sent a query to my Team and received a simple response via my own thoughts: “Vortex”. I later requested more information. This is what I received:

You have entered the second surge of energy in the trifecta and you are witnessing your involvement in it, though you may not recognize it as such now. What you perceived was a glimpse of your own heightened perceptions. The veil is lifting between this world and the next. It has been doing so for some time, yet there are periods in which it thins superlatively; when there exists the right circumstances within the realm of spirit and realm of the physical and a vortex forms briefly allowing the formation of purer communication channels. It is such that this occurred today and you were able to witness it because your own energy vortexes have cleared enough to allow you access to these superlative periods of conductivity.

At this time a visual came into my mind of what appeared to be a shaft of energy pouring down and slicing through many levels of bluish-white zones seemingly layered one over the other with Earth being the lowest of these levels. The color of this energy was yellowish with white and other bright sparks of color that would light up as they traveled through the shaft. The energy did not go in just one direction, either, but appeared to move around, down and up. In all actuality it appeared like a giant chakra might appear except it did not have the circular shape but more of a cylindrical one.

It is such that these vortexes of energy are forming all over the earth. Some have existed and been stable for many thousands of years, while others change and transform with the magnetism of the earth. Others form and then destabilize, moving from one location to the next and are initiated by the energy of a particular location at a particular time. Electrical storms, weather and other climatic changes can trigger these vortexes as can the energy of an individual or individuals whose own energy is shifting and accelerating.

In my mind I saw a visual of what appeared to be the planet Earth covered in yellowish-white dots that would be bright one moment and then dark the next. It reminded me of a blanket of fireflies.

Your energy has accelerated and initiated such a portal without you intending it. Though it was temporary, your experience with similar instances in your past will assist you in understanding and fully utilizing this current amplification of your energy. We encourage you to seek out and decipher the subtle energy shifts and vibrations around you as they will propel your perceptions of yourself and other realities.

As always we invite you to commune with us in depth about such changes as they occur for we understand you may find some of what you perceive strange, unreal or disorienting. Please do not be afraid of these alterations to your conscious awareness as they are temporary adjustments meant to enhance your overall awareness and annunciate your arrival.

Prior to hearing the voice calling my name, I had not noticed any changes in energy either around me or within. However, the voice seemed to trigger me into action, into mentally probing my environment and self in order to gather more information. It is literally like the voice flipped a switch inside me. Perhaps that was the point?

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Symptoms and Solutions

Current list of symptoms followed by what, if anything, I am doing to cope.

Symptoms

  • Waking early and often at night
  • Vivid dreams
  • Energy sensations, specifically on head and lower chakras
  • Vibrations, mostly at night but also during the day
  • Muscles twitches
  • Restless or achy legs
  • Decrease in guide communication and spiritual experiences (OBEs, lucid dreams, etc)
  • Increased calm and clarity
  • Incidents of mis-emotion, though they are getting fewer
  • Lack of motivation

Solutions

I have been waking so frequently the last week and my dreams are so vivid that I struggle to feel rested in the morning. I finally fixed this by taking a Benadryl last night and awoke this morning feeling rested! I still woke up several times and had vivid dreams, though.

The energy sensations and vibrations I experience are not unwanted so I don’t do anything about them except enjoy them when I have them. I did have an incident the night before last where I awoke with aching in my second chakra area but it went away once I woke up. There has been heart and root chakra buzzing on and off as well.

The muscle twitches are rare and do not bother me either. However, the restless and achy legs caused me to visit a doctor yesterday and get an ultrasound of the veins in my legs. It was discovered that I have venous insufficiency in my right leg in one of the saphenous veins. I made an appointment to close off the vein next Wednesday. It is a surgery but I am awake and there is no pain involved. And no, losing the vein is not bad. If I don’t get rid of it, it will just get worse and could cause pain and more restlessness in the leg as well as lead to varicose veins. My right leg is fine but they will monitor it since I get pain in it as well. I am just happy to know this is something that can be fixed and that it was not “all in my head”.

The decrease in guide communication is normal for this time. I was warned I would hear my guides differently and that is exactly what has occurred. If I have a concern or question, I have to send it out from me like I do when OOB, as a mental query. An answer is then returned as a feeling or an invitation to channel.

The incidents of mis-emotions are easily resolved by focusing on my heart center and listening. Sometimes I have to take a walk or I have to get away from the environment I am in, but most often just simply turning inward helps resolve it. Usually the lack of motivation I experience is linked to this mis-emotion and if I just simply allow myself to enjoy the present moment it disappears.

The incidents of calm and clarity are welcomed newcomers to this experience. It is not that I didn’t have them before but now it as if I can control when I have them. The clarity moments are the best as they tend to give me answers about what to do next. I get “ah-ha” moments and then know to take action. This is how I determined a trip to the doctor was warranted for my legs. I also recently decided to go back into session as I recognize I need help discarding limiting belief systems.

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Extrication of False Belief Systems- Message from Horace

We are pleased once again that you have reached out to us. Our humble service is yours.

You are approaching the second surge of energy in the trifecta. As we discussed, these surges work to clarify the energy of the three chakra centers of the solar plexus, heart and root. In these periods of clarification, you may experience a lag in any one of these energetic centers. Please be advised in advance to withdraw from the intense and often sudden emotional surges that are possible while these centers are purged. We are helping you extricate yourself from strong belief systems that have been in place for many lifetimes and to which your human self clings. Some of these deep seated beliefs interrupt the functioning of communication with your Higher Self to the degree that this communication is either completely lost or suffers major distortion. It is such that the human mind can become confused and go off track, seriously interrupting the flow on the time track and thus instituting the need for further inclusions in the time track (more incarnations). Once these belief systems are exposed and released, communication flow is clearer and less distorted, though interruptions are not completely eliminated.

The timing of the next flow of energy is completely dependent upon your ability to accept and assimilate the flow. For you, expect the next surge to come around two days from now, excluding interruption and delays. For others, the adaptation period may be more or less.

Future surges of this sort will not be presented in this way but expect them throughout the summer months and acclimation to occur in shorter and shorter intervals.

For now this is all you need to know. Remain centered in your Being (heart), send your energy into the Earth and up to the stars to increase stabilization, and beware the traps of the mind and material world.

Until our next exchange,

Horace