Tag Archives: premonitions

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Dream Premonition: On Watch

Woke at 11am in tears from a dream and then went on to have what I feel is a premonition in a dream.

Dream: All is Love

Despite the intensity of this dream, because it was so early in the night, I don’t recall many specifics now.

I remember walking through an empty house. It reminded me of my mom’s house but also of other houses I’ve lived in throughout this lifetime. A man had come to visit me. I recognized him in the dream as someone I love dearly but cannot place him in this lifetime based upon looks alone. My response to his visit was to make him wait. I was busy, with life I guess. In the midst of my busyness something told me to turn around. When I did, I realized the man was about to leave. I ran up to him and he turned around to face me. In his eyes I saw that his feelings for me had changed. I said to him, “You don’t feel the same, do you?” He told me he did not. I asked him if he still loved me, my heart beginning to ache and tears forming in my eyes. He said he did not, but those weren’t his exact words. What he said was much more kind. I began to sob. An indescribable feeling spread from my chest outward. This is when I began to hear Clair de Lune playing in the background. The feeling was hurt and grief – an overwhelming pain and loss/decimation. He attempted to explain that this was the way of things here (in the physical). It was difficult for me to hear, though, as the pain was to the point that it woke me. The last thing I heard him say was, “Let it go.”

Still crying but wide awake, the explanation was presented again. I was shown a crystal. A pure, white light went into one side and out the other came a rainbow of color. The love I am seeking is the pure, white light. The love of the physical is the rainbow. Love in the physical is broken into the many emotions we experience here – love, hate, guilt, pain, passion, envy, fear, etc. What I am seeking is the unchanging love I am use to but the love I find, over and over again, is not that. I am finding a love that changes as all things change here in the physical. What else did I expect? 

Premonition Dream: On Watch

I was in Montana in college. I remember going to class and giving the teacher a name that was not mine: Heather Heather. I remember telling this name to the teacher, laughing uncomfortably at how nonsensical it sounded. I sat in my desk thinking about the name and how it would make all the coursework I was doing invalid when it came time to graduate because the name wouldn’t match my transcripts. 

I must have left the classroom because next I was in a car traveling through the streets of a familiar city in Montana. It made me happy to see all the natural beauty around me and I began to think of my ex-father-in-law and wondered if I should meet up with him. It was something I very much wanted to do.

The scene shifted and I was with my father-in-law. He and I had gone on a hike. I heard/Knew of a young female student who had shown great promise and was now a professor at the university. She excelled in the study of plate tectonics. I saw a visual of her working over a map, using a device to sketch potential earthquakes in Montana. I saw her draw two circles, one very much in the west and the other to the east of that point. I heard, saw and even wrote her name, but all I recall now is the initials C.S. 

There was a brief portion of the dream where I spoke with this seismologist. I asked her where the most recent earthquake was and she said, “Kalispell”. I told her I would avoid the town and then mentioned how many more people are likely to live there now. She then showed me the eastern location of a second earthquake. I felt forewarned.

Next, I was taken by my FIL to a dirt road. In the road had been dug four square holes. Inside was placed devices to measure the movement of the earth. There were also sign-in sheets near the holes. This is when I signed the name with the initials C.S.

Then my father-in-law took me on a drive to another location. As we drove down a seemingly remote road the trees opened up to a small, circular town. We got out and went on a hike up the mountain. My father-in-law said his hands were cold and asked if I could warm them. I let him put his hands in my pockets with mine and warmed them. He was behind me, our bodies touching, as he warmed his hands. I could feel his interest and got somewhat uncomfortable. He is at least 25 yrs older than me. As I prepared to move forward he stopped me and put his face and lips very close to my own as he stared me in the eyes. It was intense and I waited. He then kissed me passionately. All I remember is the feeling of a sloppy kiss which was not that nice. He then turned and went back down the mountain, giving me a sausage stick and a banana on the way down. I rushed after him, eating the items quickly but discarding part of the banana, yet I did not feel hungry.

I began to wake but lingered in the in-between for a while. This is when I heard and saw written on a wall in my mind, “On watch” and I remembered vividly the map with the circles, the city of Kalispell and the warning of two earthquakes. 

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Kundalini Dream: Sneaked Kiss

Slept really well. Again. I’m really enjoying the good sleeps I’m having lately. They are the kind where I don’t recall many dreams but when I wake I feel drugged and can easily fall back to sleep and linger in bed in the morning falling into the in-between or into “daydreams”. I feel well rested when I finally get out of bed, too, which is an added bonus.

This morning I was slowly waking from a dream, talking to someone in a bookstore about where I had bought the Clan of the Cave Bear series. I told her, “The I-Computer Store”. As I woke, I was seeing the store – isles upon isles of books. I was repeating the name of the store but woke up because the name I was repeating was not the store name. I was saying “I/Eye Center Storm”. Immediately I knew it was related to yesterday’s post where I mentioned feeling to be in the “eye of the storm”.

Speaking of yesterday’s post, I wanted to share the Kundalini dream I mentioned in that post.

Dream: Sneaked Kiss

I awoke around 4am not in a good mood. I wish I remember why I woke this way, but I don’t. Fell back to sleep quickly and entered a dream.

The scene I came into was familiar and felt like my mom’s house except it wasn’t. So wherever it was, I was comfortable there. There were many others present. Though I didn’t recognize them specifically, it felt like I knew them all.

There was a discussion on-going about a prepared drink. I remember being in a circle of people, then. We were positioned on plush chairs and daybeds. There was a pool and hot tub in the background and lots of background noise. 

This is when I spotted K. I stared at him from where I was, directly across from him, momentarily and then looked away. The discussion continued but it is mostly lost to me except that it was about a specific drink. What I recall about the drink is that it was being prepared and so we were all waiting. 

Somehow I ended up across the circle of people near K. He was telling everyone about the ingredients in the drink and mentioned one ingredient was a gnat – a giant one like the size of a softball (minor inconvenience becoming major). I recall seeing it in my mind. It was large and green (healing, heart chakra) and its wings so tiny they were almost undetectable. It didn’t look like a gnat and I said something about how I would be fine without it in my drink. K reached out his hand and touched my hand lightly, holding his hand there long enough to catch my attention. I remember worrying someone would see, but everyone was so caught up in what they were doing so no one noticed.

At this point, K reached over the top of me to grab something. He ducked his head under his arm, which shielded what he was doing from view, smiled at me and snuck a quick kiss. I believe he also said, “Stay”. In my shock I froze, again nervous someone would see, but no one did.

We lay there together, hip to hip, for a while and no one noticed our closeness. There was this electricity in the air. It filled my entire being with nervous anticipation and a sense that what I was feeling was not allowed. I could sense that he felt the same.

Eventually I began to feel the need to move away. We were so close that it felt like we were one person and I decided to get some distance. When I did, he resisted but I still broke away. I turned back and saw him smiling, his blue eyes blazing and compelling me to stay. It was too much and I couldn’t resist the pull of him. My decision was made: I didn’t care if anyone saw or knew. I fell back toward him and told him I wanted to stay with him. He smiled down at me and lightly brushed my lips with his own. For a moment he just stared at me, as if purposefully lingering to draw out the moment. Then he kissed me, his energy calm, protective and accepting, wrapping around me like a hug. We kissed again but the energy was too much. My heart was lighting up, the bliss burning a hole straight through my very center, and the intensity of it ultimately woke me.

After

I woke up in shock, my heart pleasantly warm in my chest. It was concerning to me that I had the dream. I had not intended to dream of him. Was this a preparatory dream? Or was it merely a method my guides were using to help clear the blocks in my energy?

The warmth in my chest was welcome, though. It has been so, so long since I’ve felt the heart bliss. Even though this was not full-on, it was enough that I reveled in it a while, sinking into it as the bliss of it spread. 

I cannot help but put together the sequence of dreams that has led up to this. First, they were sporadic and friendly, with long conversations that remained with me upon waking. Real enough that I wondered if he, too, were having the dream. Then, the dreams began to include sparks of the Kundalini. Some were blissful, loving and accepting, as if we were comforting each other. Some got intense enough that I awoke completely overcome with the K. Still, though, many months would pass between dreams. Long enough spans of time that I would easily forget such dreams ever occurred. 

I never quite know WTF is happening with these kinds of dream encounters. I’ve opted to not seek significance or meaning in these dreams. Jumping to conclusions is not recommended. Seeking to remain the Observer is advised. I’ve accepted that I’ve been allowed to glimpse the Beyond, the space where We come together as our Higher versions and play out scenarios that may or may not seep “down” into physical reality. It may even be that these scenarios occur on some other timeline and so the “memory” is then recovered or “jumps” to this timeline.

What I do know for certain is that thought creates reality. So, I must be careful with my thoughts. As my guides have often reminded me, I am “a great manifestor”. I’ve had enough experiences now to know the truth in this!

When I inquire of my guidance, “Why is he appearing in my dreams”. They answer with, “You called him.” Of course, I did no such thing (consciously)! But it is possible.

I Knew with my “twin” that I “called” him. He said as much in our earliest encounters in dreamtime. In fact, one OBE still stands out to me. I recall standing across from him, my heart and root both blazing, asking him, “What are you doing here?” He stated with a big smile, “You called me.” I also realized I had indeed “called him” at a much later date, via my internal dialogue and constant questions of “why?”

So, rather than feel these dream encounters are “happening to me” and out of my control, I should instead asked myself, “What do I want?” Honestly, I love the dreams and would be happy just continuing to have them. The Kundalini “fire” is a marvelous thing. The problem is, when you play with fire, someone always ends up getting burned. And I seem unable to resist playing with that damned fire. A spark is never enough. If I am honest, all I want is to be consumed by the fire. Completely. So, I guess what I want is to not pull anyone else into that fire with me. I’m happy to do it alone. But is that even possible? IDK.

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OBE: Love, Family and Togetherness

Woke at 6am wide awake. Despite wanting to return to sleep, I was thinking of the migrant crisis at our border and it was upsetting me. My main concern was the sheer numbers of people wanting to come to the U.S. Mostly, I was mad and thinking to all the migrants, “Go home!”

After feeling upset for a short time, my guidance asked me, “Why don’t you want them here?” I thought how the migrants would require lots of assistance, in the form of money, housing, food, etc. My thought was interrupted with other thoughts (my guide’s and my own)- They want to work. They want to provide for their families. They want a better life. Then I was asked, “What are you afraid of?” I knew immediately and answered, “I don’t want to lose what I have. I am comfortable. I don’t worry about money, food – the basics. I can go to the store and buy whatever I want without a second thought. I don’t want that to change.” I felt ashamed for feeling this way. I knew that my fear was not mine alone and that it was the source of the inequality in the world.

I wondered about the solution but was not happy at the answer I received. To make things more equal, those who have, must give to those who do not have. It was simple, but at the same time extremely difficult to accept, mostly because it meant I would have to give up some of what I had. I thought of what it was like living in Costa Rica – the lack of a/c, the lack of hot water, the bugs invading my living space, the simplicity. I thought, “I don’t want to live that way.” But I knew/know that there are worse ways to live. Much worse.

Rather than dwell on the subject, I shifted my attention to going OOB. I was already in the in-between and shifting into subtle vibrations. My attention easily flowed to the astral realms, which I could perceive all around me, and back to the physical, which I knew I was still lingering in. At times my awareness was more on my body – the heaviness of my eyelids, the pillow next to my head, the position of my body, the sounds in my house. Then my awareness would shift to the astral and I would struggle to know if my eyelids were physically opening or opening in the astral. I could hear noises-off in the form of my husband’s voice very close to me and my children talking in the background.

I talked to myself, commanding, “Body asleep, mind awake.” I never use this command, so I’m not sure why I did, but it seemed to work

OBE: Pressure

I blinked my eyes. Still they felt heavy. Still they felt physical. I commanded again, “Body asleep, mind awake.” This time when I thought those words I got up out of my body. I felt a familiar heavy, sticky feeling as I sat up and moved away. Realizing eyes were open (I thought them closed), I looked around me as I moved away from my body, noting my room was not familiar and the door was in a different location. The room was dark and objects resembled large, shifty shadows. I went to the door and grabbed the knob. It opened without me turning it. I stepped outside into a hallway. It was still dark. I remember thinking that all I had to do was will the light and it would come. And it did, along with an entire, unfamiliar house. I was standing in a living room, a gray sofa to my left and kitchen to my right. The air was golden and bright, shifting with my gaze. The space felt small compared to what I’m use to.

As I walked towards the front door, I encountered my husband who questioned me. His energy was like a wave of pressure as it came at me. He was cajoling me, but I don’t know what about. The energy and pressure was familiar and I thought, “I don’t want this.”

I shifted back to my body momentarily and exited again.

OBE: Love, Family and Togetherness

When I exited my body this time, the heavy feeling was gone, my vision was clear. To my right was a window. I thought, “Maybe I should exit via the window.” For some reason, though, I felt this was not the right exit, so I went back through the bedroom door out into the house.

When I entered the living area I felt my energy subsiding like it does when I’m about to shift back into my body. I paused and said, “Awareness now.” Realizing that I said something unusual, specifically, “awareness” I thought to myself, “I am Awareness”. So, I said, “Clarity now!” I looked down at my hands and saw them in detail down to the tiny lines around my knuckles. I didn’t linger, though, but floated through the living area without any encounters. In fact, I barely recall the inside of the house at all except that it was cast in the same golden light as before. I wonder now if that golden light is me and not the space like it seems to be? Ah, yes, I think so!

I exited through the front door and found myself in yet another unfamiliar scene. Thin, wiry saplings lined a grass path out to the street. Their leaves hung down and touched me as I floated through. I reached up and touched a green sprout, noting its newness. Ahead of me I saw a busy street. Tall buildings lined the street and could be seen in the distance. It reminded me of San Francisco.

A car sped by and I noted how it didn’t slow down when it passed. The road had four lanes; a highway. I looked up at the tops of the buildings. Instead of windows I saw gigantic, open cardboard boxes piled one on top of the other.

Another car sped by and I floated out into the middle of the road. I thought about how one might hit me if I lingered there, so I hovered there tempting one to do so. I saw a car approaching. I turned and faced away from it, floating onto my back in complete surrender. I said, “Go ahead, hit me.” I thought it would surely just speed through me but it went around me instead. When I saw it go past, I thought, “Huh.”

I decided to explore the area. There were people lingering about on the city streets. The ambiance was not one I liked. It felt stunted; greedy. I flew along the sidewalk and paused outside a large building that sold Christmas items. Two thugs were lingering by the entrance and came towards me. Feeling their negative intentions, I ignored them and opted to go inside.

When I went inside it was like going into Santa’s workshop. There were people standing in line to buy items. The ceilings went on forever. Stained glass windows let in rainbows of light. Christmas lights were strung across the entire place. Decorated trees and all kinds of items were on display for purchase.

Everyone looked at me when I entered. I was floating there and flew higher, over everyone’s heads. They looked at me in awe. One child pointed. I knew they could see me. I appeared supernatural to them. Thrilled at this, I let them ooh and awe over me. I don’t think I spoke but I remember thinking they were all on the “wrong path” as I felt how caught up in material possessions they all were.

I shifted momentarily. I found myself facing a house. Again, it resembled the houses in San Francisco. I was at the open front door, looking in. A family was around their dinner table. A blonde boy around the age of 8 was standing across from me. I told the family, specifically addressing the boy, “Consumerism is destroying you”. The boy’s thoughts were apparent – “Toys?”. I said, “Toys won’t give you anything.” I began to leave. The boy yelled, “Wait! What can we do about it?” I paused and said, “Love, family and togetherness.”

As I flew away, my physical body pulled me back and I slowly opened my eyes, aware of a very dry mouth. I had been sleeping with my mouth wide open. lol

Understanding

My OBE was fresh on my mind as were my words, “Love, family and togetherness.” The migrant surge came to mind again, but this time I was accepting of the solution. All we need to do is think of all of mankind as our family – because they are.

The warning I received long ago about populations migrating north came to mind. It is happening now. It isn’t going to happen when I’m old woman, like I thought. And it will keep happening. No wall will be big enough or high enough to keep them out.

For some reason I felt completely calm and accepting. I am reminded of the highway scene in my OBE and how I surrendered, saying, “Go ahead, hit me.” Hahaha. Yes, go ahead.

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Birthday “Present”

My birthday was so-so. It was just another day, really, which is normal for me. I am 45 and feel 65. I see this place as a giant theatrical production and I seem to be the only one that can see behind the masks everyone is wearing. I remember too much and because of that I feel isolated. The other actors urge me to play my part and I think, “What’s the point?” I play my part, though, because it is all I know, but I long for my true self. I want to be free.

On my birthday I suddenly decided I would get the vaccine. My daughter wanted to get hers and so, in support of her, I got mine, too. Her main reason is she wants to “fit in”, typical of her age group. All her friends are getting it. My reasoning is that I’ve had ample warning of this event from the start of my awakening to the present, and it is up to me to decide what I am going to do with that knowledge. It occurred to me quite succinctly that the only control I have of the future is in my own actions.  With all the info over the years, all the “warnings” from my guidance of what was to come, perhaps it would be wise to at least take the proper precautions? 

After feeling through the idea for a while, I realized it would make no difference. The feeling I received back was completely neutral. So why did I follow through with it? In the end, it just felt right. 

In the November 2019, my daughter and I suffered through the worst “flu” we’d ever had. It was so bad that at the beginning of it I was worried and requested assistance from my guides. I had a really high fever and Ibuprofen and Tylenol did nothing to control it. The only way to describe how I felt was – “like death”. My body didn’t ache, really. I did have a headache but I don’t recall it being why I felt bad. It was a feeling I’d not ever felt, not even in my previous sickest moments of life, not even when in the hospital after a C-section, not even when I had pre-eclampsia. I would get these intense, all-over body chills and my whole body would shake. I was so cold and couldn’t get warm and then it would pass and I would be sweating profusely. Sounds just like a fever, right? And I did have one. I don’t remember the numbers but I do know no amount of medication could completely rid me of it. In my desperation, I asked my guidance for help and they gave it. Out of the blue I received an all-over body energy hug and with it came immediate relief. This would last long enough so that I could sleep. Unfortunately, I would wake with the same symptoms all over again and have to ask for more, and would receive immediate relief again. Had it not been for the repetitive healing relief by my guidance, I may have resorted to a trip to the hospital that night!

The following days I had no fever but continued to experience chills and hot flashes. With it came  seemingly never-ending, dry heaving coughing fits. Eventually my entire abdominal area was sore and I had to hold myself with my arms to relieve the discomfort. For me, the coughing was only relieved by purposefully relaxing as it seemed the more I resisted the coughing, the more I would cough. Thankfully, the chills and hot flashes only lasted a few days and the coughing lasted a little over a week. 

My daughter didn’t fare as well. Her coughing fits lasted much longer and she stayed in bed most of the day while I continued to work. She also had the chills and hot flashes and splitting headache along with fatigue and body aches. She told me several times, “I would rather be dead than go through this.” 

Anyway, part of my reason for getting the vaccine is that if this virus is worse than what I had in November 2019, I sure the hell don’t want to get it. I have had the flu before, but never, NEVER, like that! I do not want to have whatever I had ever again if I can help it. My daughter agrees. She and I were the only ones in our family to get that “flu” so badly and the memory of it is still vivid. It was really, really bad and that is an understatement. That my guidance had to step in to help is evidence of how sick I was. In my entire life I’ve never received healing like that. It seemed miraculous to me.

The day before my birthday, as I was skimming through news articles for my area, I noticed all the news on the migrant issues at the border. The articles have been common place, so this was not the first time I paused, but for some reason this time I got a kind of “OMG” moment because I remembered my guidance warning me of a “massive migration north” due to climate change. The words, “The time is Now” came to mind and I got a sinking feeing in my stomach. 

I felt drawn to read through my old, typed out journals from 2003-2006. I’ve been through them before and written about this journal several times in this blog. There are two, completely full, three-inch binders and the pages are single spaced. That’s a lot of info to sift through! I haven’t read every single page, of course, but it seems every time I go back through it, I find exactly what I am meant to.

In 2003 I write out a list of things to expect in the next 50 years. Among them is climate change and mention of the massive migration north along with major changes to the U.S. political system around the “middle of the 50yr period” (around 2026).

In 2005 I talk about one of my first visions which also mentioned climate change, a mass migration and a “flu-like” virus that wipes out a large portion of the world population. Here is what I wrote in December 2005:

I was driving home from my BF’s house. It was around 4am. Because I was unable to sleep, I had quietly left his bedroom, whispering something to him about me needing to get home. I rushed out of the house in a hurry, eyes blurry, and still wearing my nightclothes.

The roads were empty and I struggled to focus on the road because I was extremely tired. Once I got the the main road, however, I do not remember driving on the road nor do I remember seeing the familiar landmarks on the way home.

What I do remember is still hard for me to handle. I had just begun communicating with Spirit and my spiritual guide was one among the many voices I heard in my head at the time. I no longer considered myself crazy or insane by this time. I had already recognized that what was happening to me was something extremely sane, something bizarre, something life changing.

I had not had any visions like this prior to this time, so when the visions came upon me, they hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember gasping because of the enormity and extreme realness of the images pouring into my head.

The first thing I saw was an image of myself standing in this light gray mist. On one side of me were people of all kinds. These people represented Earth and the many who lived upon it. On the other side was what I perceived as Heaven filled with Spirit, love, light, and so much more than I can describe. I stood in the middle, not on one side, not on the other. In the gray mist I saw myself reaching out to the people of Earth. As I would reach them I would grab people and one by one pull them to the other side, the side full of light and love.

When I saw this vision, I cried and cried out, “NO!” over and over again to my guide. He only said to me, “It will be” and continued to remind me of this as the visions continued.

I pushed it out of my mind as hard as I could, asking for it to stop. It didn’t stop, though.

The next visions came in waves. By this time I had tears streaming down my face and I remember seeing the lights reflecting off the asphalt of the highway I was on. It seemed I was on a kind of auto pilot as I drove. I saw the road moving in front of me as if in slow motion, visions continuing to force my attention elsewhere.

I saw many things. The first was the White House on fire. There were no angry people in protest nor was there any evidence of the cause of the fire. Yet the fire burned and I felt what I would call a “wind” of massive change and upheaval pour through me.

The visions continued. I saw the rivers swelling with water and the oceans rising, splitting the U.S. in half at the Mississippi River. I saw the land falling into the ocean and people moving to escape the sweltering heat. I saw a new, flu-like disease wiping out portions of the populations of the world. I saw war and terror overseas and greed and political corruption here in the U.S. I saw a huge rubble field replace the parking lots of the school I worked at which is located across from a major military instillation.

Like a wave, the visions kept on and I heard voices crying out and calling to me amongst the chaos that was enveloping my mind. By this time I remember pulling up to my house and turning off the car. I was sobbing and begging for it to stop. “Please”, I said, “Please let me only hear one voice.”

And it stopped. All at once it was quiet and the visions were gone. I heard a quiet voice say, “I am here.” It ended then and I hope it never repeats.

In 2013 I have a visit from a guide where I am given more specifics about what to expect around 2020. This reiterates what I had been told before, but, of course, I’d forgotten about it by then. I have shared that post on here before and here it is again. The virus comes up as does a “change in government”. Based upon this discussion it seems many factors will lead to the decrease in population I am told about.

All throughout my journal I am told that the world is going through its own spiritual awakening that mirrors my own just on a much larger scale. I am reminded that I am loved, I am never alone and there is no judgment, only pure acceptance of what IS. 

So the virus comes up frequently as do other changes. The reason for it seems always just so that I am aware but in the visit with my guide he repeats how “It all comes down to you” and the choices I make – we all make. 

The memory of my experience with the awful flu in 2019, my subsequent review of my journal combined with the OMG feeling and “The time is Now” message, it is no wonder that I woke the morning of my birthday with the decision to get the vaccination. I have often gotten warnings of the future and have felt unable to really do anything with the information I receive. Perhaps this time I can? I may not be able to change what happens on a larger scale but at least I can protect myself and my family – or at least try. 

Some of you may wonder what my stance is on this virus. Do I think it is real? Yes. Do I think it is as dangerous as the media, government and CDC say it is? No, but the fear these sources spread is. Do I believe the warnings my guidance has given me over the years – yes, but my experience with such “predictions” has taught me to take it all in stride, to wait and see and not jump to conclusions. Do I think that the vaccinations are “bad” for me, potentially altering my DNA or tracking my movements – no.

My guidance warned me in 2019 with “put your blinders on” and I am following their advice. Blinders keep a horse looking straight ahead at the path in front of them. They keep distractions to a minimum, blocking the horses view to either side and behind them so the horse doesn’t startle or panic. This is what I believe all of us should do right now. The amount of distraction around us right now is ridiculous and so many of them lead to fear, anxiety, panic and even paranoia. Keep your eyes and focus straight ahead. Focus on what you know in your heart to be true and nothing else. Ignore the distractions. That is all they are and their purpose is meant to slow you down, “injure” you so that you are dependent upon another/others or become completely immobilized. 

My decision was not made in fear. I don’t fear the virus. I don’t fear death. In fact, I joked about how maybe getting the vaccine would kill me and end my misery. lol Honestly, I just don’t want to get sick like I did in 2019 so if I can decrease that likelihood, then I will. Maybe my decision won’t change a thing, maybe it will. We will see. 

I got the Pfizer vaccine because that is what my daughter got. I wanted the Johnson-Johnson one because I really don’t want to get jabbed twice, but it is not readily available in my area and so, since my daughter could only get the Pfizer one, I got it along with her. So far, no problems other than a sore arm. 

When we went to the vaccination clinic the huge space was almost completely vacant. There were two others beside us. As we waited our 15 minutes at the end (to make sure we had no allergic reaction) the nurse approached me and wished me a happy birthday. She was super nice and pleasant, her energy very calming. She seemed like an old soul to me. When we left I felt elated for some reason, which confirmed to me that my decision was sound. 

We will be getting the second dose at the end of the month.

If you now want nothing to do with me, then I bid you farewell and all the best on your journey. It could be your road and mine have now diverged. It could be we meet again in this life, or the next one.

I am not a puppet. I don’t follow the crowd. I do what feels right for me and I don’t push my beliefs and opinions on other people. I think if the rest of the world did this it would be a much more peaceful place, don’t you? 

Keep your blinders on. 

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My Prediction

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Woke this morning to a memory of what happened last year on this day. My sister was admitted to the hospital with sepsis and an emotional rollercoaster would follow with her near death and continued struggled. Ultimately, she got her new heart valve and now seems back to “normal”, though we all suspect that she is still using Meth based upon the continued bad luck she and her husband continues to have.

For example, they got kicked out of their RV parking spot by the land owners who stole everything they had stored in the land owner’s shed. Then, when they moved to their new spot, the shed next to their RV unexpectedly caught fire and exploded, damaging their RV and incinerating all their belongings inside the shed. So the things they got to replace the previously stolen items were destroyed by the fire. Everyone in our family suspects the fire may have been caused by a meth lab gone wrong because my cousin, my sister’s husband, has been known to do dumb things like that in the past. I have since discarded that idea because police and firefighters were everywhere and no arrests were made.

This morning I reflected briefly on all that happened last year to include the premonitory dream I had that warned of my sister’s admittance to the hospital on Feb 14th. The message was clear from the dream: “This is just a drill”. It leaves me wondering, though, if that was a drill, when will the real event occur because “drill” suggests one is on the horizon?

Spiritual Happenings

Since my last post my dream recall is on the decline. I suspect the spikes in geomagnetic activity were partially the cause of the uptick in activity, at least for me. I have read many articles and posts suggesting some kind of download was happening, but I didn’t receive such a message myself. Instead, my guidance appeared to be working with me more closely and allowing me to recall those interactions in detail. Why? My only guess is they are preparing me for something. What? Well, it is hard to be certain and, as usual, I take what they tell me and “put it on the shelf”. I am always wary of the messages I received because I have been disappointed way too many times by my misinterpretation.

While dream activity wanes, life continues to bring messages. The messages come in unexpected ways and seem to be building upon one another.

At the Office

On my way out of the office on the 12th, I checked in on my BIL. He was sitting at his computer with this far-off look on his face. I waved, he noticed and nodded his head but still looked overly preoccupied. I thought to myself as I went into the bathroom, “[I should] invite him to lunch.” The thought was loud, and I heard two versions of it – one was my own thought and another was not. With it came this feeling from within as if I were receiving instructions. I considered inviting him myself but as I came out of the bathroom the receptionist said my husband was in the car waiting for me.

When I got into the car I told my husband my idea and said, “He looks like he needs a break.” My husband immediately dialed his brother’s number and invited him. He accepted and joined us for lunch.

At lunch I asked my BIL if he was getting any sleep. They just welcomed a new baby girl a few weeks ago. He said he was and we went on to have a nice conversation with our meal. He is normally not very communicative with me but he and I locked eyes several times and I could feel his openness to my invitation to share. I told him it was my idea to invite him because he looked like he needed a break. He thanked me and said he was “bogged down” and then added, “Sometimes you just have to walk away”.

The conversations were positive and we discussed how his wife is like my husband and how he, my BIL, is similar to me. My BIL needs time to himself and is not overly social. I considered that he may be a 2nd line (HD) like me but did not bring this to his attention. He may even be a Projector based upon how he responded to my invitation to share. It was like he experienced a kind of relief at my invitation. 

On my way home I thought about how that “voice” felt and how the invitation to my BIL came about. It was very unusual. The idea of inviting him felt good….joyful. When I wondered to myself, “What happened?” I heard my guides reply with, “You were listening.” ha!

May be a closeup of nature

Take a Walk, Make $20

Later that same day, I decided to go on a walk despite the frigid temperatures and a recent ice storm. I was in a very positive mood, listening to my music and singing as I walked. Yeah, it was cold, but when it is cold in Texas people become scarce which is just how I like it to be! 🙂

As a familiar song played, one that had recently been part of a dream message, I spotted a $20 bill right on the side of the road. It was in a puddle left from the recent thunderstorm. It was totally unexpected and I laughed for a while, especially when two more songs followed behind the first, songs also recently given as a message. The songs were – Lovesong, Collide, and Crash Into Me.

Message: Angel Fly

The next day I felt like meditating in the middle of the day (not usual for me). After about half an hour I began to go into the in-between state and even had fleeting dreams.

Not long after I fell into a vision/dream type scenario. It was both like I was experiencing it as well as observing it. I was walking. A fly flew into my mouth. I had memory of times when I go running and accidentally end up swallowing a bug. There is nothing you can do but cough and think, “Oh well. It’s too late now!” 

Once aware of the vision I heard someone say, “It’s an angel fly.” I thought, “What?” This brought me out of my reverie. I relaxed a bit and fell back into meditating. That’s when I heard, “You won’t know until it happens.” 

I got up after that. The message was clear, though, and I can’t help but wonder what it means. Will something happen and leave me feeling similarly to how I feel when I accidentally swallow a bug while running? Ewww! lol I told my daughter and said, “I think it means that I won’t see it or know it is coming until it happens and then there will be nothing I can do about.” Being it is a fly, it may be a minor annoyance but symbolically flies represent sudden change and transformation. But an angel fly? 

And More Messages

Yesterday morning, I woke and then lingered in bed meditating. A song was going through my head followed by another. First I heard, “Crash into me and I come into you.” Then, I heard, “Where have you been all my life?” repeat over and over again. At the same time, a guide was talking to me. I remember waking up now and again with visuals of finding money in random places. I also remember being told, “He is a Leo” and knowing this guide was discussing a person I would meet soon. My response was that I disliked Leo men because of their selfish tendencies. With this I got a reminder of a previous message, “Fire with Fire.” I somehow knew the meeting was in March and wondered how long it would last. I heard two to three weeks. I asked if this would be the same man I would meet in October and heard, “You will see.” Then there was a flash of a vivid image of a man with dark hair standing in front of me. His eyes were pale, sky blue and so bright they seemed to glow.

My Prediction

Based upon the messages and signs coming through, my guess as to the overall message is something like this:

At some point in the future I will meet someone. My guess is it will be in the Spring (March). The tarot cards I found suggest this person is male, intelligent and visiting for a short time. He might be a fire sign and the meeting with him will be similar to accidentally “swallowing a fly”, meaning I won’t see it coming until it is too late to do anything about it and I may initially be annoyed. I could end up feeling “split” because of this meeting and so experience internal conflict, or a “yes” and “no” tug-of-war inside. The money suggests a streak of “good luck” and the angel fly message implies that the meeting will be helpful in some way. Maybe he is/acts as an “angel” in that he provides me with something I need on my spiritual path? Regardless, I am being asked to “listen” and “follow my joy”. If I do this, I will successfully navigate the experience.

We’ll see if I am right. If not, no biggie. I prefer not to “swallow a fly” anyway. lol

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OBE: Black Humvee

I woke at 4am and couldn’t return to sleep. Thoughts were on a recent repetitive message – “2 years” – and a dream where I stated that the end of the world would come on Sept 28, 2025. I was feeling depressed about my life, the lack of meaningful forward movement and had a feeling that time is running out.

OBE: Black Humvee 

Somehow I entered into an OBE. I knew instantly I was OOB. I was inside my grandparent’s underground (subconscious) home in the kitchen (seeking spiritual nourishment), a place I often find myself when OOB. I was facing the front door and decided to go outside. There was interaction taking place with someone but I don’t know who. It was like I was two people – the dreamer and the conscious explorer. 

As I approached the door I thought about how to become more lucid and so I was. When I went outside I tested my dream legs to see if I could fly. There was a strong pull down like gravity and I accepted this as the rules for the experience. 

Just outside the fence was parked a large, black (unknown, hidden) Humvee (hard work). I climbed inside via the passenger side and crawled to the driver’s seat. I knew it was owned by a man who was very strong and intimidating. My intent was to drive it so that this man knew. I was feeling mischievous. I turned the key to the ignition and it roared to life. Looking through the front windshield I saw how high up I was. I thought about driving over everything in front of me but changed my mind. The truck was way to big and I didn’t want to wreck it. I climbed out and went to explore.

Looking to the right of the house everything looked as it did in my memory except there were many young people milling about. Some were hovering in the air. This is when I realized I, too, was hovering and flying about. 

I observed the people. Some were in larger groups and others in pairs – couples. 

I flew past the people toward where the barn should be but instead found a construction site (work in progress). The fences had been remade into wood and were taller. Where the barn was stood a large house. I remember thinking how it would be nice to live there and wondering if I could buy the acre and home from my mother. 

Then my mother was there and she took me into the home. She asked me how I liked the church (spiritual healing, connection) they were building. I was surprised it was a church and knew then I couldn’t buy it as it was meant for many people, not just me and my family. 

Inside the church was made completely of wood that shown that yellowish color of new pine. It also smelled of pine (longevity, recovery). There were stairs and ramps heading up to a platform and behind that another area that my mother told me was where people would be baptized. The ceiling was very tall and the space quite big. I recall feeling peaceful.

Lucid Dream: Erika and Darius 

I came back to my body briefly and then returned but not to the church. Instead I was inside a garage (something is “parked”, lack of movement). My husband and MIL were near and I found a fabric grocery bag full of things on a shelf. It had opened, stale potato chips (loss of health, neglect of physical state) inside and I knew it was my MIL’s. Rather than toss the contents I took it to my husband and told him it was his mother’s and that I didn’t want to throw anything away because of how upset it would make her. The bag smelled of rotting food (decline), though.

My husband was tending to his mom and she was acting frantic and worried, which is normal for her. He was asking me if I would go with them somewhere, me driving a truck and him driving a car. I told him I wouldn’t – couldn’t – and he knew it. He didn’t argue with me, instead saying he would take the Prius (MIL’s car – soul journey) because his mother always kept it full of gas. There was discussion about how the car was having lots of issues and they were becoming more and more severe. The car would not last much longer. I was glad the car would be gone soon as it had been a major headache for me.

My husband handed his mom the grocery bag and she sifted through the contents, pulling out baby food (new nourishment) and exclaiming as if she was opening a present. She was super happy to have the baby food, pulling each container out and showing it to her son. That is when I saw the baby girl and knew the baby food was for this baby. I called the baby “Erika” and I recognized her. I had many feelings at this time. Mostly I felt upset that this baby was coming into the world to be the daughter of my SIL and BIL. I felt a connection to the girl. I didn’t like that I had worked so hard to make her the person she was only to have her come into a new life and forget me and everything we had accomplished together. I also didn’t like that she wouldn’t know me and would instead cling to her new family. 

Similarly, I saw how my MIL was being helped by this baby. She would have renewed purpose, which her life has been lacking for some time. My husband, too, would have purpose but in helping his mother who would struggle more and more with old age (the Prius represents MIL). 

Something about the scene took me back to my grandparent’s land (ancestry) and the young people gathered in groups and pairs. I floated there and watched them and a name came to mind – Darius. I went directly to him, then, shifting immediately into a new scene where I hovered in front of a 10 month old baby. He was chubby, black and super cute. When I saw him I was sad again. I knew him. He was family. There was Knowing that many were incarnating now and it upset me to think of so many loved ones purposefully coming to Earth now, at a very difficult time. There was a part of me that understood and accepted this and my connection to these new Beings but at the same time I was outraged at the injustice of it. It wasn’t fair that they would go through so much pain and hardship. I remember thinking of what was to come and shuddered.

I began to cry and purposefully pulled myself out of the dream scene and back to my body. The transition was smooth and without the typical bumpiness. 

Considerations

It feels like this lucid/OBE experience was meant to show me some things about myself and why I am responding to life the way I am now. There was a strong sense of being two people – the dreamer, or unconscious, version and the conscious version. I was able to see that the memory and Knowing I have as the conscious version is being interpreted and processed by the less conscious version. Thus, my responses in the dream were a mixture of calm, acceptance and outrage.

The Humvee is an interesting dream symbol. Trucks = work, so a Humvee would have a similar meaning but more in terms of the Collective and “war” since Humvees are traditionally used by the military. Black indicates the hidden or unknown, the subconscious or unconscious. So something about this work is unknown and maybe even a bit scary to me. There is a masculine feel to the Humvee as well, which I see as symbolic of what drives this “war” – the masculine and all it represents.

This is the second time now that I have associated my mother with a church. Perhaps I am reminding myself that the feminine should be honored at this time. I retreat to the feeling that comes with being inside the church. It brings me peace. And even though the church is “under construction” it already serves a purpose, indicating that once complete it will have much more of an impact on everyone.

Other Thoughts

Lately my mind has been on the future quite a bit. I can’t seem to shake the premonitions I had so many years ago when I first awakened and was flooded with visions and Knowing. One such vivid vision was of the White House on fire – bombed. I still see it so vividly. Also very vivid in my mind is seeing Fort Hood, Texas as a rubble field, also bombed.

I know that the future is not set in stone and for a long while I pushed aside my early visions as just a “potential” future, denying they could ever happen in my lifetime. Now I am not so sure. I keep having flashes of “what if’s”, which are not necessarily premonitions, but instead a mixture of what could be and my own fears or dread of them happening.

For example, I feel (and fear) that no matter who becomes President, the US economy is headed for a complete collapse. If this happens so many possibilities exist. The divide between the haves and have not’s is already widening. If it continues Civil War could result. Yet I have had previous visions also of the US being attacked by an outside force. What that force is – another country, a terrorist group, or just forces of Darkness in general, is unknown.

Despite all these worries, at my core I am exceptionally calm about it all. I have always been told by my guidance that I will be safe and need not worry about myself and my family. There is also a deep understanding I cannot put words to that indicate every.single.thing that is and will happen has a higher purpose.

About a month ago I actually wrote a post that I never posted about how everyone on Earth right now is being polarized. I opted not to post it because I know that it likely won’t make a difference in how people are reacting to what is transpiring in this world right now. And that is OK. The only person I have any control over is myself and I choose to NOT react, but to observe.

How do you not react to everything? React doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings or thoughts. Let yourself feel. Let yourself have an opinion. It is OK. You are only human. I have an internal dialogue that I let play out when I get overwhelmed and upset over things. I just don’t verbalize it or share it with anyone because it won’t help matters. In fact, it will serve only to further polarize things. In the end, the dialogue always shifts away from the upset and back to my Knowing and acceptance of what is.

Hopefully, my honesty about my previous premonitions and fears doesn’t trigger anyone. If it does, I am sorry as that was/is not my intent. I hope my sharing assists in a better understanding of how I perceive this unique time in human history and that is all.

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Lucid Dream: Compass

I have some bad news. My sister, who has been home recovering from her bout of sepsis is now back in the hospital. She had been doing well and feeling good when suddenly she began to feel tired and sick. When she developed a high fever, chest pains and shortness of breath, her husband took her to the hospital where she was told the sepsis had returned along with endocarditis and an abscess on a previous graft to repair an aortic aneurysm. She is now experiencing the same symptoms as before – swelling and pain in her right leg, pain all over, and discolored skin (purplish).

Yesterday’s report from her husband is not good. Though her cardiologist wants to perform surgery right away, the surgical team is against this. They cite my sister’s leaving the hospital against medical advice and her previous drug use as the reason. They gave three options: six weeks of intravenous antibiotics like before, transport to a nearby hospital that may do her surgery, or admitting her to a facility that is one step above hospice.

Her husband is going to try and talk to the team this morning in hopes they will change their mind and do surgery. A abscess on the heart valve is an emergency situation that requires immediate surgery. Without the surgery the survival rate is very low.

When I saw her husband I noticed he did not look well. He seemed puffy, like he is retaining water or had gained a lot of weight in a short time. He was also complaining of tooth pain in two teeth and mentioned he needed to get the teeth removed. Seems like he too has the tooth decay common to a Meth addict. 😦 I suspect he was not giving us all the information as to why they would not perform the surgery. My guess is they found Meth in my sister’s system when they ran their tests.

When I left my Mom’s home she hugged me and would not let me go for some time. She began to weep and shake as she said, “Hospice? I can’t believe they want to send her to hospice….” She plans on going to Houston if that is where my sister ends up going. Right now that seems like the best option. I may accompany her if that is the case.

Yesterday morning, before receiving the recent options, I woke up from an unrelated dream thinking, “My sister is going to die.” I began to question this, however, because with my dog, Trooper, and my grandparents, I was warned in advance of their upcoming passing. I received direct messages to “prepare myself” well in advance. Yet with my sister the messages have not been as clear. I did have a precognitive dream indicating her stay in the hospital was “just a drill”. Does that mean this time it isn’t a drill? It feels like it.

Other messages have been coming up, though. Mostly the lyrics from song – “This could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go somewhere only we know.” In fact, only the day before yesterday I was telling my husband that I worried the song message was meant as a message warning me to prepare for my sister’s passing.

I’ve also had dreams in the last couple of days where I a comforting my mother, singing to her and hugging her.

Similar to how I felt when presented with the knowledge to prepare for each of my grandparent’s passing, I feel somewhat numb. Even when hugging my mom to comfort her yesterday I did not feel sad or want to cry with her.

Ever since my sister’s first admission to the hospital on February 14th I think I have been in preparation mode. There were times when I asked myself, “Is there anything I feel I need to say to my sister? Anything left undone or unsaid?” The answer was always, “No”. Even when I thought back on our childhood together and sifted through those memories I could contact no lingering emotion or sadness. That life seemed not to be mine, or at least to be a very distant past life.

So odd.

Lucid Dream: Compass

Suddenly I find myself lucid within a dream. I am standing in an empty bar. A man is in front of me. He is unfamiliar and I cannot recall his appearance now. Somehow I know he is there to help – a guide. I communicate without words, asking him for advice on what to do. He holds out his hand. In it is a tiny compass pendant. As soon as I have the intention to accept the gift it appears on a chain around my neck sitting right over my heart. The message that comes with the compass is to let my heart guide me.

I feel somewhat panicky and concerned. There is a question posed with my concerns and the response was a close-up visual of the compass. It looks something like this:

Compass Necklace #urbanoutfitters | Fashion LOVE ...

I stand in the bar with this guide for some time but my memory of this time is mainly of how acutely aware I am of being there. Time feels to be standing still and I have a deer-in-headlights feeling but I don’t know why this is.

Then there is this feeling of being released somehow, as if I have permission to leave. I decide to take control and head toward the front door. When I open the door it is dark outside which disappoints me. I begin to sing as I attempt to fly but am immediately grounded and so have to walk. My intention is to make the sun come out so I can see better but it never happens. My thoughts are on my current life and how I create my reality. I try to do this by flying and setting an intention, so when I cannot I feel as if the message being relayed is that my reality is interconnected with many others. Therefore, there are agreed upon rules I must follow.

I lose lucidity and the scene blacks out. I find myself standing outside a small bistro. A man and woman, the owners, invite me to come in to dine. They speak with thick accents and I realize I am in Belgium.

They hand me a menu that is filled with light dishes made mostly of fish. I look at a shrimp dish and inquire about it. The woman tells me the dish will take a very long time to make and advises me to choose another.

I remember talking to someone about going somewhere. The location is Frankfurt.

Interpretation

I am not sure what these recurrent dreams of being in a bar represent. The bars are always empty, too, which is unusual. I am not drinking alcohol then I am not trying to numb my emotions or avoid something. So, perhaps the bar indicates I am open to experiencing something that could be emotion, but have no emotion as of yet.

The compass is pretty self-explanatory, it is indicating the direction I need to take will be shown as long as I am open to receive it (listen).

The darkness I encounter when I go outside indicates something is unseen or unknown. I am unable to illuminate it or to fly and this upsets me. I want to know and be in control but cannot know everything and control is an illusion.

The restaurant scene is interesting. I do not know what the county and city symbolize. Perhaps they are just symbolic of me feeling out of my element? I am invited to eat, which means I am being offered assistance in the form of spiritual nourishment. The shrimp meal indicates that I feel powerless and small. The woman advises me against it which seems to be a message that I have a choice – I am stronger than I think.

Edit: Just received news this morning on my sister. It has been confirmed that the reason the doctors don’t want to do surgery is because they found Meth in her urine. 😦

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Dream: May Day

Seems I just can’t catch a break when it comes to my dreams lately. I am having vivid, lucid dreams. Many have been sexual, sometimes with elements of the Kundalini. Others have been upsetting, some so much that I feel they are predictive of some future event.

What is going on, I wonder? My intuition tells me that we are shift, shift, shifting again. Like majorly but in subtle ways that are more inward, drawing out deeply hidden wounds that need healing. Wounds that may have been partially healed but because they were not totally “flushed” from our energy they have to be confronted, handled and released. Based on the intensity of this shift I am betting you all have felt it, too, though your experiences would not necessarily be like mine.

In the past few weeks (since the last week in Feb) I have been having dreams and physical reality encounters (online mainly) with people from my past. People who I met in the first few years following my spiritual awakening in 2002. Three ex’s to be specific. Two re-connections occurred online with men from that first year of my awakening. One was an online chat that went on for half of the work day, the other was just me looking in on them without them knowing.The other connection came via a lucid dream encounter which had me waking up thinking, “What was that all about?”

On top of the odd return to the past I’ve been having premonitory dreams. The V-Day dream I had was one such dream and this morning I woke in tears to another one, this one mentioning May Day (May 1st).

Dream: May Day

The dream shifts and changes settings three times. In the first dream setting I am with others who my husband and I know in real life. There is discussion about the kids all going to one place to hang out while the adults go to another. For some reason it seems like the kids are all going to my house and I make it known that I do not want this. It feels like the group determines I should be the babysitter without asking me.

My husband and I visit a pizza (return to wholeness) place to order pizza. He selects pizza from an metal shelf and begins to taste test some of the food. I watch as the man taking our order prepares a bread loaf by taking dough (money, finance) and rolling it into small balls and putting them together. I take one of the ball of dough and taste it (good fortune), asking if it is okay. He says it is and I put the tasted dough back into the pile and he continues to make the bread.

Then someone mentions it is time to go and the kids all seem to be piling into our car, which is a station wagon (family). I protest and remind them we do not have enough pizza for all of them.

We drive, me sitting in the passenger seat and also in the driver’s seat at times (two aspect of Self). We are going to a “dance” at a school. The school parking lot is flooded (emotion). Water is rushing down the road and getting high enough to stall out a car (upsetting emotion). I drive through it and from the passenger seat I can feel the water hit my feet because there is a hole in the bottom of the car (an aspect of me will be impacted by this flood of emotion).

I drop the other kids at the dance but do not let my daughter go. She is upset and I tell her that she should have told me in advance about the dance.

As we leave we encounter a black man asking for donations to fix his car. A nice, black car is sitting near him, one tire missing. I feel generous and begin to look in my purse for money to give him.

The scene shifts and I am driving with others in a country setting. Again, I am the driver and the passenger. As the passenger I give instructions. “Turn left here.” The driver me drives past and I look back and say, “You missed it. You have to turn around.” We drive up a distance and find some little shops. The road looks to be red brick. We begin to turn around and I see the shops look to be from the distant past, like the Middle Ages. Men are lingering and looking strangely at us, but we drive back to our missed turn.

The scene shifts again and I am in a warehouse that is also an elevator (levels of consciousness). The button is pushed to go up but the elevator malfunctions and it goes up only to fall quickly back down. I know this will happen, though, and am prepared. Then we are trapped inside for a while until someone cuts the wire and the power is cut off. The elevator opens on the ground floor and we exit.

The scene shifts for the last time and I am at a gathering. It feels like a wedding or similar celebration. There is a long table set with various items as if we are preparing for the celebration. At the head of the table is my “sister” though she looks nothing like my sister in real life – younger and much prettier with long blonde hair. She has pretty, thin ribbons in her hands and seems to be braiding them or something.

My “sister” is smiling and talking on “the phone” (there is no phone) with a mother figure. I can hear both voices in the conversation. I recognize that the mother’s voice is not our mother’s but maybe the mother-in-law or some other mother related to my “sister”. I say to her, “That isn’t mom you’re talking to, is it? Mom died didn’t she?”

When I say this, I have a flash of memory and seem transported into this memory. My mom is laying in a hospital bed, sitting up against the raised back. She is very weak and I somehow know that she has had issues with her heart. My mom says to me, “I’m not going to make it.” There is instant memory of an entire event that leads up to my mom’s death.

Shocked at the memory, I begin to see a calendar. The month’s of the year rapidly flip from page to page, pausing on the months and certain dates for seconds before moving to the next month. I see the 14th of January and then the 21st of February. Then the page stops on May 1st. I remember thinking of Mother’s Day and how so much happened to me and my family in 2014 around this time of year – births, deaths, marriage, relocation, new jobs, new directions in life for many of us.

I shift back to talking to my “sister” and say, “May 1st….May Day…..” I begin to sob uncontrollably as I realize my mom is dead. Dread hits me and devastation begins to spread from my stomach up to my throat and my head like a warm liquid. My heart sinks and I cry so hard I wake myself up. As I wake I am saying, “May Day (mayday), May Day (mayday)” as if I am asking for help while also trying to remember the day.

It was 5:30am and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

Considerations

If this is a premonitory dream then I hope, hope, hope it is not literal. My mom has always told me that she could not bear the death of one of her children. She has said, “I won’t make it” which were similar to her words to me in my dream. The feeling of the “heart problem” my mom had in the dream was that she was unable to continue living because of something that happened to her heart.

Just recently I discovered that my sister’s condition has not improved. She has staph on her heart valves despite the removal of 7 infected teeth and her blood tests showing the infection had cleared. She also confessed to being addicted to Meth, which has been a shock to me and my mom and anyone else who now knows that didn’t before.

The doctors have decided to do heart valve replacement surgery and replace the infected valves with pig valves. This is a very risky surgery so my guess is she must be doing pretty poorly for them to risk opening up her chest to replace her heart valves while knowing she is a Meth addict and will likely return to her habit once she recovers and put herself at risk for a repeat of this health emergency.

I have been at odds with myself over her situation. On the one hand I want her to recover and overcome her addiction to become the person she is capable of being. One the other hand I am certain she will succumb to her addiction and end up right back in this place sooner more than later. I am furious that the doctors would replace her heart valves knowing she is a Meth addict and not at all recovered except for her time spent in the hospital. But I imagine they are aware of this likelihood, so if they are doing the surgery anyway then she is at death’s door already.

So if my dream is precognitive, it could be that it is warning me of how my mom might react to my sister’s death. Or, it could just be a worry dream and nothing more. It felt precognitive, though, especially since the message is so similar to the previous one. May Day – V-Day…..

Honestly, the intensity of this past month and the uptick of dreams and dream encounters this past week has me a bit worried. I asked my guidance the other morning, “What is wrong with me?” upon waking from a particularly intense lucid dream. I am losing sleep because I keep waking from intense (Kundalini) or upsetting dreams at early hours of the morning and cannot get back to sleep. I lay awake thinking and wondering and get this feeling that is BIG. It says to me, “Change is coming. Be ready.”

Sometimes my spiritual gifts seem like a curse. Why know what is coming if I can’t do anything about it!? So seldom does knowing help except to prepare me emotionally by giving me a heads up. I wonder, though, does it really prepare me? I suppose in a way it does because I can process the emotion ahead of time so that when the event does occur I can be there for others. I can be less affected and more emotionally stable. For me, the loss of my sister is something I can bear but for my mom? I imagine what it would be like to lose a child. If I lost one of my children it would be devastating. A part of me would die and continue to die for the remainder of my life. Like my mom, I don’t think I could survive it.

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Dream: V-Day

Lots of change occurring right now.

February 6th Dream: V-Day

I was driving along a rural road in an unfamiliar place. My kids in the back of the car. I noticed all the other cars around began to pull over and off the road like an emergency vehicle was coming. I looked and listened. Nothing. Why were they pulling over? Rather than get in trouble, I pulled over quickly, running my car into the ditch nearly hitting a fence. Relieved, I looked around. The roads were completely clear and all was quiet. I rolled down my window and asked someone in a nearby car what was going on. They said, “It’s an evacuation drill for V-Day.” I thought, “He must mean D-Day. Maybe we are in the UK?” I thought it strange they were doing a drill when there was no war and no need.

My family and I got out and began to walk back to our hotel. As we entered a circular, gray stone courtyard in a city, we noticed there was snow all over the ground. I turned around and saw a ski hill in the distance. It made me smile and I mentioned how fun it would be to ski. I began to slide around on the snow. My kids did the same and we made sure to avoid the deep puddles that were forming as the snow melted.

We entered a building that reminded me of a mall. I remember seeing the entrance back to the hotel. It was hidden in the back of a tourist gift shop.

Interpretation

When I woke I knew the dream was a premonition. My interpretation of it was that some kind of “evacuation drill” was coming on Valentine’s Day. The good part is that it would be a “drill” and ultimately not the actual event.

The positive feelings I had at the end of the dream were promising. The snow is melting – so some kind of stalled situation will finally have movement. The ski hills in the distance seem to indicate quick progress and hope.

My thoughts of “D-Day” in the dream seem to indicate that an assault of some sort would occur. Assault here could be symbolic of taking action where it is needed.

A couple of days after I had the dream I was shopping for Valentine’s gifts for my children to give to their teachers. There was a small box of chocolates that had, “Happy V-Day” on it. I remembered the dream and knew it was a reminder. Never in my life had I seen “V-Day” used on boxes of candy like that.

V-Day

I was on alert all day on Valentine’s Day. When nothing happened I shrugged my shoulders and thought no more on it.

The day after Valentine’s Day I received a voicemail from my mother who told me my sister was in the hospital. She had been rushed to the ER on Valentine’s Day after waking up to find she couldn’t see. Her vision went completely black and she was disoriented and afraid.

My mom told me that the doctor’s told her my sister had a “blood infection”, which translates to sepsis. They didn’t know the source of the infection but since she also had a UTI, then that was likely the source. She had three mini-strokes, the first of which caused her blindness. The source of the strokes was an infected heart valve. She had a heart valve replacement (HVR) with a pig valve 12 years ago. The valve was worn out and failing, throwing blood clots that lodged in her brain and caused the strokes.

I was able to visit my sister the next day, Sunday February 16th. She was awake and her vision had returned, though not fully in her right eye. She was in pain but otherwise seemed like her old self. She appeared very swollen and pale and had sores all over her body, a side-effect of the sepsis.

She talked with us for over an hour and seemed much better. She told us that when she was admitted they had asked her, “What year is it?” Her response was, “1987”. She said she couldn’t remember anything from the past two days except waking up and not being able to see.

Several times while talking to her, she broke down into tears. Her tears stemmed from overwhelm at her situation, the pain she was still feeling and the love she was feeling from friends and family.

The bad news is that once healed from the sepsis she will have to undergo another HVR. The first time she had the surgery was devastating to her. Open heart surgery is never easy and the road to recovery is long. She is hoping they will be able to do the surgery without opening her up, but I don’t know if that is even possible. She survived it the first time, so bets are she will again.

I told my sister about my dream and it gave her hope. I didn’t tell her that I think the “evacuation” part symbolized leaving the physical body. The “drill” in the dream symbolized a test of her readiness to leave this life. Some call these “exit points”, points in our timelines where we can choose to go Home. At this point it appears she has decided to stay.

Please keep my sister in your thoughts and prayers.

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Dream: Hope Floats

Last night, for the first time in a long while, I struggled to fall asleep. It was past 1am when I finally drifted off. Again, I asked to be shown what my afterlife would look like and again got shown something very different.

Dream: Hope Floats

I was in the back seat of an SUV traveling with three others – two men and a woman. The only person that was familiar was the driver and since he was way up front we did not interact very much.

For some reason I was very talkative and happy in this dream. The discussion was about where we were going and why along with other random topics.

The topic of all the countries we had visited came up and the man to my left showed me a map of all the places he had traveled. His map was quite full! It seemed he had been nearly everywhere! I somehow knew he had past military experience and this was how he had traveled so much. I asked if he had ever visited Australia and he showed me a map of the country. He had traveled nearly the entirety of it! I said, “I went there once. I wanted to move there. It is a wonderful place.”

The topic of music came up. The man had with him two CDs and a player that wirelessly connected to the SUV stereo. I explained how I didn’t like most country music songs and was not shy about sharing my opinion. I tend to be very honest and blunt and I was most definitely acting this way in the dream. As far as I know, I didn’t upset anyone with my strong negative opinion about country music. The man sitting next to me asked me to try listening to his CDs. He shared the name’s of the artists and albums. I told him I had never heard of them and even now I can’t recall their names.  I agreed to give them a listen but his player would not connect.

The conversation continued with me changing my mind as I recalled actually liking certain songs, even owning country music CDs when I was married to my ex. I remember mentioning the movie soundtrack, Hope Floats, but when I said the name I knew it was a message to myself about hope.

The driver, the only person in the SUV that I recognized, did not interact much with our group. In the midst of my conversations with the group, I moved to my left a bit and could see the man watching me via the rear view mirror. I tried to ignore him and pretended I didn’t notice him watching me. He looked just as I remembered, especially his eyes and the intensity of his stare.

The topic of conversation shifted to our destination. I remember knowing we were going to Minnesota but the map I saw did not show the state in the right place. Instead, it looked more like a state in the northeast somewhere, closer to Ohio or Pennsylvania. The man in the front seat mentioned how different it would be for me to live there, saying the college campus I would be at was in a big city. In my mind I saw city streets and lots of people and knew I did not like crowded places. I remember knowing that I was going to study for my Master’s in Group Communication. In the dream this degree stood out to me and nearly brought on lucidity, but it didn’t.

Suddenly, the man in the driver’s seat turned completely around and began to crawl into the back seat toward me. This surprised me and I remember holding my breath and thinking, “What is he doing?” His eyes are the most memorable. It was like he was looking straight into my soul.

Then, without warning, he took a huge inhale of breath and turned around to face the front of the car. Outside I could see the highway spread out in front of us. Black, burnt wreckage was spread all over the left side of the road. The car was stopped, so there was no worry that it was driving into the wreckage, but cars were behind us. One car’s bumper was nearly touching ours and it honked in annoyance.

I knew we had to get out and assist in finding the survivors/victims. When I stepped out of the car there were two tiny, toddler-sized, black sneakers sitting on the pavement in a position suggesting they had been blown off the feet of their owner. I remember saying, “Oh no! Where’s the child these belong to?” My last thought before waking was hoping the child had survived as I looked at the unrecognizable pieces of wreckage and obvious scorch marks on the highway.

As I woke, I felt the presence of my guide in front of me. He said to me, “Life is good.” I was so tired, so heavy with sleep, that I didn’t really think much about his comment and I drifted back to sleep. I can’t recall what, if any, dreams I had after that.

Considerations

When I woke up my first thought was on the message I gave myself – Hope Floats. I don’t remember too much about the movie but I believe it is a story of how a woman suffers through an unexpected divorce, moves her family in with her mom, and reconnects with an old school friend (or boyfriend?), falling madly in love. Ultimately she finds happiness where she never thought she would find it.

I don’t know if this message is meant to indicate something like that will happen to me. For my life to play out like the movie is unlikely, especially since I don’t have any high school sweethearts to reconnect with. lol It could be that the message is simply to remain hopeful. And it could be nothing at all, but that is not typically how my dreams work. Especially dreams in which I remember seeing someone I know so acutely and wake up knowing the dream has significance.

My music preferences, the main discussion in the dream, seem to show how I recognize that though I say I don’t like something I eventually recognize that I do like some of it. I am open to exploring this about myself and even agree to listen (to the music – my guidance – but in this case “listen” in general applies).

As a dream symbol, music is how one communicates and expresses their soul. It can also represent spiritual guidance and a message being sent/received. My best guess as to the genre of music is that it is linking me to my past and perhaps my roots since I was raised very “country” and lived in the country for more than half my life. I suspect I am being asked to return to my past, inspect it and be open to receiving something it has to show me and “change my mind” about some idea or situation.

The wreckage on the highway seems to be a message or warning of a world-view or path more than my own and/or my group’s path (SUV is a group path). The wreckage is massive and the cars involved unrecognizable. All that is left are scorch marks and twisted pieces of metal. The two tiny shoes likely represent the children of the world in general. My main concern is them. My group is seeking to help the victims.

Finally, the degree I am seeking is at the forefront of my mind. The main word that stood out was “group” but I knew my degree had to do with communication as well. Considering just last night I was boarding a train to my new school and was wearing a choker around my neck (throat chakra), I think this part of the dream very significant.