Tag Archives: Spirit guide

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Tom Arnold

Here are the other OBEs I had this morning. I will say that most of these occurred from 5am to 6am and I got up twice in between to check on my baby. The entire time I was sleeping I was either in-between or in astral and was being instructed by a guide.

OBE#2: Football Field

I was instructed to focus on my heart when I asked why I could not maintain astral. So that is what I did.

I again went downstairs. This time there was light in sporadic places. I glided toward the kitchen and the back door. I attempted to open it and then just went through it.

Outside the air was crisp but it was dark. I saw a fence and approached it because I saw a light glowing in the distance. It resembled the stadium lights of a football field.

I went to the top of the fence to look and saw that the football field shifted into what looked like a zoo with a large lake. I wanted to go there and tried to fly toward it. But my feet were stuck to the top of the fence. I tried many times to get free but couldn’t.

Then I had an idea. I would use the fence as a catapult! So I did and flung myself backward and up, up, up. It felt as if I were being sucked up into the sky. I could not stop it and so closed my eyes.

OBE#3: Tom Arnold

I awoke again frustrated and wondering what I was doing wrong. There was a series of mini-OBEs here intermingled with discussion with a guide. In between each short OBE was a moving title telling me what step was next. It was written in cursive, pink letters and had a dark pink background.

The third title said something about vibrations but I cannot remember it now. I felt vibrations only slightly and then it was black, like I fell asleep, but I awoke instantly while in the process of exiting my body. I had a round object in my hand. When I sat up and got out of my body, I knew it was an egg.

I glided downstairs and it was brighter than the previous times. I threw the egg forcefully at the wall and heard it go “pop”. I was talking to my guide in my head at the time but I don’t remember what was said.

I went again to the place where my son was sleeping. I found him looking like a little cherub and sound asleep. I was relieved and knew he was better. I leaned down and kissed him and said to my companion that I was so glad he was better. Then I wondered aloud what I was doing wrong.

A voice answered from behind me. I don’t remember now what it said, something about using my heart. The voice was not in my head and clear as day. It was a man’s voice. I immediately turned around and asked, “Where are you?” He replied, “Over here”. I saw a brightly lit kitchen. It had a golden glow and there was a counter between me and the main kitchen area.

I went toward it and asked, “Where? I don’t see you? Are you hiding?”

He said, “I’m here. Look over here”.

I wondered if he was invisible because I saw no one.

When I got to the counter top I stopped and still did not see him. I got on my tiptoes and looked down. A man’s head was clear as day and it gave me a bit of a shock. I said, “Oh! There you are!”

A man with thick silver hair stood up. He was all smiles. My vision was very clear, which surprised me. I kept thinking he would disappear so I really took the time to inspect his face.

He resembled my Dad but he wasn’t him. He was probably in his 40s, with a long face. He was also dressed in a silver, gray suit and tie. Very professional-looking.

He smiled the whole time I stared at him. I said to him, “I know you” but I really could not place him. He replied, “I know you“.

I then saw what looked like a push pin sticking out of his head but then it also looked like a small, house fly. I said to him, “Why do you have a pin er bug in your hair?”

He smiled bigger and made a motion toward my face and said, “What’s in your eye?”

I felt a sting in my right eye and said, “Ow! Why’d you do that?”

I knew he had poked my eye. It threw me and I didn’t know what to do next. I went back to my body.

When I came back to my body I was, of course, thinking of the encounter. I knew he was a guide and I was mad at myself for not asking him more questions! His personality was familiar to what I had encountered earlier that night in my normal reflective time, but I did not know who he was. So I asked, “What’s your name?” I heard, “T…Arnold” and thought, Tom? Arnold? Tom Arnold?

I knew he was joking. Tom Arnold is a comedian. So must he be. I then asked why he did what he did. He said, “You saw me, right?”

I said, “Yes”.

“And you heard me”.

“Yes”.

“And you felt me poke you”.

“Yes”, I said.

And it dawned on me. That was the whole purpose of the encounter – for me to experience seeing, hearing and feeling vividly and without losing my hold on the reality I was in.

Bravo!

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Root, Heart and Head

I had a busy night last night.

Marrying the Enemy

The dream began in the mountains along a narrow road. The view of the valley below was spectacular but it was soon noticeable to me that there were cats everywhere! There were more cats than I could count and they were all different colors. At first I was wary of them but a man approached me and assured me they were harmless. I recall seeing them in vivid detail and thinking they were out of place.

The man was very handsome. He was my height with medium length brown hair, brown eyes and golden skin. He was wearing a tan, leather tunic that matched his skin and was tied with a dark brown belt. We talked for a while, discussing a feud that had been raging between two families. As we talked, I recognized the battle was between my side and his side.

I confronted him asking, “Why did you surrender? Now I have to marry you.” I mentioned that I was too old to be married. I felt ashamed.

Then I was wearing a long, flowing and lacy white wedding gown. I could see myself from outside of myself and a lace veil was covering my face revealing only my eyes. I was crying and the man said to me, “If you cry, I cry”. I saw tears in his brown eyes.

He then said, “We will stop here then” and he cradled me in his arms and we fell to the ground.

I was overcome with the complete relief that comes with surrender. My root and second chakras lit up and energy expanded outward. I felt safe.

Then I was walking with the man and we came upon a woman laying completely naked in the snow. She was lovely with long, blonde hair, blue eyes and creamy skin. Her breasts were poking up above the light powdering of snow that surrounded and partially hid her nakedness.

She spoke to us saying that she wanted to be with my husband. I did not deny her this and looked to my new husband. I remember looking at her and finding her very beautiful. My husband and I became one at this point in the dream and I seemed to become both male and female.

lotusRoot, Heart and Head

I awoke overcome with a strong surging in my root and second chakras. I recalled this previously occurring in the dream and allowed the energy to expand, reveling in it. With it came a rigorous back and forth shaking vibration which I partially ignored because I felt so loved and accepted, as if all my previous fears and mistrust of others melted away.

I remained awake as the energy surged through me and the strange vibrations continued. The energy seemed to skip my third chakra entirely, lighting up my heart chakra which became so full it felt as if it would explode out of my chest. I felt so much love that I wanted to cry. I heard my guide say to me, “You are beautiful”.

As the energy in my heart subsided I became aware of a massive amount of healing energy covering and going through my chest from the back. It expanded to cover my entire back and for a moment I became confused about which side was my front and which was my back. They seemed to be the same.

I felt at the same time an energy expanding from deep within my brain. It felt to originate from the very center, right behind my third eye and nose. It expanded until it hit my ears and then shot down the back of my neck and up to my crown. It did not fill my entire head, completely missing the areas behind my cheeks and my forehead.

Within my head the strange horizontal vibrations started up and remained constant. With them came a sound similar to the sound of an idling truck, it was a low rumbling with a higher pitched ticking.

I lay in the energy and vibrations for some time and if I became overly alert I heard my guide remind me to relax.

Moving Out

I must have dozed because all of a sudden I was entering a vacant apartment. I was aware that movers had just been there. There was a bare bed in the center of the room, a side table and a few odd objects. The objects were an alarm clock without its cord which sat in the middle of the bed; a small, white animal statue that I knew contained animal oil; and a pair of boy’s underwear that were blue and white.

I remember commenting about each of the objects. The man from my previous dream was there answering my questions. He said the clock was mine, that I left it. I understood that it symbolized time travel and was related to my previous dream and my exploration of past lives. I do not remember what he said about the other two items. I believe the underwear symbolized my children and the oil symbolized sexuality and sensuality.

The man confirmed that we were moving out. We were done here. This woke me up.

I immediately knew this dream was good. I felt so relaxed and wonderful, as if the weight of a thousand worlds had been lifted from my shoulders.

I then questioned the energy grid memory and was told my energy was being mapped. I understood it to be a good thing related to healing and so did not ask any more questions. Then I heard, “Your dreams are your heart sifting through the past”.

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Lights in Astral

I went to sleep upset over a Yahoo article I accidentally saw when perusing the site. The article was about a woman in Pennsylvania who died of a drug overdose and then her 9-month-old son died of starvation/dehydration along with her because no one knew she was dead for at least two weeks. I cried when I read it and then couldn’t get it out of my head. Upon sleep, I asked to astral and to stop thinking of the article.

Lights in Astral

I woke up many times in the night, all from disturbing and vivid dreams. The last time I woke I asked to astral and fell back to sleep.

I woke up within a dream and then immediately felt my body and subtle vibrations that indicate exit can occur at any time. I hesitantly rolled out of my body, worrying that I may not be aware enough. When out of body I felt the typical heavy energy that usually comes immediately upon exit. I could see but not well and so I began to move away from my body. Interestingly, I got the urge to look back at my sleeping body. I turned around and looked, seeing an empty spot on the floor of a room. My vision was clear but had that jumpy energy look that is typical of whatever level of astral I am in. I knew then that I was not in real-time and for some reason projected to my old room in my mom’s home.

I went toward the bedroom door and stopped to look at myself in the mirror as I passed. I saw myself quite clearly and without distortion but I had several small zits on my nose which are not there is real life (face is clear).

Moving on, I instantly jumped into the living area and there in front of me was my middle son wearing a bright red jumper. I watched as he walked toward me. The room was brightly lit and he was the only one there. I focused on him more and saw that it was not my middle son by my youngest. As soon as I noted this he turned around and walked away from me.

With a thought I was at the front door and out of it. I felt for a moment that maybe I should not go out but think this was me worrying more than anything.

Outside it was dark but there were lights in the distance that shown so brightly that I was in awe of them. One was on my right and bright white shining as if a car had its headlights on me. The other was to my left and was a reddish-pink color. Before I could take it all in I blurted out, “Show me what I am not seeing”. I had not intended to ask this so it surprised me that it came out of my mouth.

I watched as the light on the left changed color. The one on the right would turn golden colored and then go back to white. As I watched, a song flew from my lips. It was so intricate and lovely, yet I do not know the song now. I began to sing what I was seeing – the green light and the gold, the blue light and the gold, the green light, etc.

At some point I wanted desperately to see the light and my vision blacked out. While in this state I still sang and I grabbed the clothes from my body and tore them off. It felt like I tore off a life vest. When I did this I began to see the blue of the morning sky to my left yet at the same time on my right it was still dark and the colors continued to flash.

I then noticed my voice as I sang and thought, “I don’t sing like that”. It was an unfamiliar voice and noting it brought me back into my body quickly.

higher-selfOBE Return

As soon as my awareness came back to my body I thought, “I want to go back” and rolled out again.

I was again inside my mother’s house and in front of me was my youngest child. I also felt the presence of my guide, though I could not see him. My vision was clear and bright with a golden hue to it.

I walked toward the door and this time noticed a brightly lit Christmas tree standing to the left of the door. I remember thinking it odd and then heard my guide say, “December 25th”.

We went outside to a clothesline. On the clothesline were hung two energies of individuals. One was a “father” energy and the other was a “antagonist” energy. Neither was familiar to me. I was instructed to look at them. I was asked if they could be removed and I responded, “I don’t think so”. My son said, “Look, yes they can” and pointed to a metal clip that was near the antagonist energy. He attempted to remove it and the scene went black.

OBE One Last Time

When I came into my body I again heard, “December 25th”. I said to my guide, “I want to go back”. He indicated my energy would not allow it much longer. I understood but still wanted to return.

I again rolled out of my body but could not see. I said, “Clarity now” and my vision came on, though slowly. In front of me was my youngest son clear as day and very close to me. His little face identical in every detail. I did not feel anything when I saw him, though. It was as if I was merely observing him.

I heard my guide say some things to me but most I do not remember now. The entire time he spoke my son’s face was directly in front of my own. I do recall that my guide was telling me that although I struggle with my third child, he was more a blessing to me than I knew. That is when my guide said to me, “He will be your best friend”. When I heard this I was filled with love and relief and a knowingness of my son’s purpose in my life. I reached toward my son and hugged him close to me. He then disappeared and I felt to be one with him.

I awoke in my body, my left arm numb at the bicep.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 6

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 9pm

Time to wake: 11:30pm, 5:30am, 6:30am, 8am

Meditation?: No

Physical Exercise?: Yoga

Mood: normal

Body: Nasal congestion/allergies

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 4

Technique?: WBTB

Sleeping position: Right side

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg

by

Avatar

My eventful night continued after the dreams of going to college.

Avatar

I found myself again semi-lucid and walking through the streets of Hollywood with a man. We stopped at a night club and he pointed out a well known actor, wanting to stop and take a picture with him. I suggest he not do that and when I did the actor turned and began to urinate on the side of the building. He was clearly drunk.

We went inside and the nightclub was pretty full. The lights were purple and in front of us sitting on the floor were two half-naked dancers chained to the bar. I looked around and saw large screens playing videos of light shows and some of what appeared to be video games. I went over and picked up a game control to investigate.

The next thing I know I am transported from the nightclub scene into a new, aqua-green world. I enter into a body and begin flying and exploring this new world. It reminded me of the movie Avatar. The experience was clearly an OBE but I was not fully lucid and most of it is lost to me now. The most memorable is the blue-green water and waterfalls that were in abundance on this world.

Healing

I awoke to buzzing energy in my body that jumped from one chakra to the other. The energy was constant around the crown of my head and I was very aware that I was receiving healing. I felt very calm and relaxed and lay there for some time just enjoying the energy as it flowed through me.

When the buzzing stopped I fell back to sleep and into a dream with my husband. My root chakra was excessively active and I kept trying to initiate sex with my husband but we kept being interrupted by our children. I awoke to buzzing in my root chakra. I tried to will the energy upward, hoping for the amazing total body orgasm that sometimes follows. I then heard my guide say to me, “Not yet. You cannot force it”. I wondered when and heard, “In two days”.

I fell back to sleep and awoke late in the morning. I immediately thanked my guide for I knew so much had been accomplished in my sleep and I was so very grateful. I heard him respond, “You’re welcome” and laughed. I could still feel the energy around the back and top of my head and recalled the message from during the night. My guide responded to my thought, “In one day”. I was confused at first and then realized that it was a new day so the message had been altered.

I wonder what Tuesday will bring?

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Benign

I just got a call from my dermatologist’s office. I was told the biopsy result. She called it a “benign irritated seborrheaic keratosis”. She congratulated me and hung up. When I looked up the term I learned it is basically an irritated mole.

I texted my husband and he sent back, “What???” I laughed because I had no idea what it was either until I looked it up. It basically is just a mole that somehow got irritated. Considering how dry my skin had been (it is no longer that way) I am not surprised. I am still wondering where the mole came from in the first place. There wasn’t one there before. It just appeared out of nowhere.

In my research I found that these moles are linked to a metabolic disorder known as Syndrome X. Curious, I read more about it. My mother and sister fit the description almost perfectly! Me, not really. The only thing I have – well had – was overly dry skin. However, it is clear that I am a likely candidate for such a disorder based upon my genetics and past bad eating habits. I wonder if anyone in my family has this condition?

Ascension After All?

So now I am again thinking my physical issues may have in fact been ascension related. Most of my complaints are gone now. This temporariness is characteristic of ascension symptoms. They come on suddenly and then leave just as suddenly. They may stick around for a while (hours to days to a few weeks), making you paranoid that you are seriously ill, but they go away just the same.

Since my last symptoms list I have lost the following symptoms (they vanished):

  • Dry skin
  • Headaches
  • Extreme thirst
  • Extreme hunger especially at night
  • Deep sleep
  • Eczema/rash/mole/skin sensitivity
  • Sexual dysfunction/disinterest

My current symptom list:

  • Lower back ache
  • Upper back tightness
  • Sweating
  • OBE’s and lucid dreams
  • Direct guide communication while OBE or in lucid dream
  • Vision issues at night where image stops and seems to “jump”
  • People starring at me for no reason
  • Energy sensations/buzzing
  • Ringing in ears on and off
  • Trapped/built up energy in chakras resulting in intense need to ground energy
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Come a Little Closer

When I woke up this morning the above song was in my head. It is called Come a Little Closer by Cage the Elephant. The specific part of the song that i was singing was the chorus – Come a little closer, then you’ll see. But the rest of the chorus, which I did not know until I looked up the lyrics, makes quite a bit of sense to me.

Come a little closer, then you’ll see
Come on, come on, come on
Things aren’t always what they seem to be
Come on, come on, come on
Do you understand the things you been seein’
Come on, come on, come on
Do you understand the things that you’ve been dreaming
Come a little closer, then you’ll see

Cage The Elephant – Come A Little Closer Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Interestingly, I felt really good upon waking. My energy was high and I felt excited but I didn’t know why. My dreams had been very vivid and were still very much on my mind. As I thought of them, my guide surrounded me in energy. It wrapped around from behind and came around to the front, shooting from my midsection both up and down until it covered me entirely. The entire time, the song kept repeating in my head.

georgeMonkey on a Train

The first dream I had in a long line of dreams last night was an odd one. I was on a train with many others but we were “working”. I am not sure what our job was and I was only really aware of a couple of other people with me – one man and an older woman who was the supervisor.

As I did my rounds I went to the cargo area of the train. It was huge and piled with suitcases and other things. I remember seeing movement and saw a small monkey sitting on top of one of the suitcases looking at me. He looked like one of those circus monkeys or maybe even a little like a real-life Curious George. I wonder if this was purposeful since I was told the name “George” yesterday in my dream?

I sent someone after him but he ran and entered the train where all the people were.

Caustic Beach

The next thing I recall is being outside in a tropical area. I was talking to someone, a man, about leaving because someone in our group had done something wrong. I walked out toward the beach and saw that instead of sand, there were these strange, small green plants. They appeared to be succulents and were prickly and grew close to the ground. I tiptoed over them, being careful not to step on them. I accidentally did and my foot stung for a bit but I managed to make it to the water. I remember someone asking me why I went that way, knowing what the plants could do. I suddenly saw in my mind a memory of the man who we had been searching for. He ran across the beach barefooted and his feet became swollen and sore from the plants whose thorns and venom made them like raw, open blisters.

We went back to the apartment to “wait it out” before we made our next move. Again, I still felt like someone in our group was a fugitive and I was along for the ride.

While waiting, I began to write down some things on a piece of paper. When I did this, I was instantly transported into a large auditorium. I looked up and saw that I was not alone. I was sitting next to a man who was looking over at what I was writing down. He said, “How do you know the answers? I couldn’t find them anywhere.” I looked at him and said, “It is easy. They are right in front of you”. The man looked quizzical. I looked closer at him and his appearance. He had a mop of sandy blond hair on his head and his build reminded me somewhat of a football player.

Death Certificate

I was again transported to a new scene. I was walking through double glass doors into a building. I saw in front of me a group of school girls dressed in black or gray huddled together in a group. They were various ages but the oldest was no more than 10.

I was approached by a woman, their teacher. She welcomed me and showed me the class list, asking if my name was on it. I looked at the list and saw around five handwritten names in a column. All of them were just first names except one: Linda, J. For some reason I knew this was me and told the teacher. She ushered me to my seat.

The teacher went on to talk to use about class and what we would be doing. She approached me and showed me a sheet of paper. She then asked me to fill in the name of the person who would declare the cause of death. It was then I realized I was looking at my own death certificate. I showed her that it was already written. The word, “Psychica” was written there. The teacher said, “Are you sure you want just anyone’s name there?” I thought about it and began to wonder whose name I should put there. The coroner? The medical examiner? What was the person’s title that I should put there?

It was then I noticed another class next to ours. It was much larger and there was a lot of laughter coming from the class. I wished I could be in a fun class. I peeked around the corner and saw them playing a game. Behind them was the ocean.

I turned to my teacher and said, “I didn’t know we were near the ocean!” She nodded. I said, “I can’t even hear it. It is so quiet!”. Then it was as if clouds or fog lifted and the drab building we were in opened up to reveal a beach with all sorts of people on it. I saw we were on a peninsula, too. Water on both sides!

In front of me I saw a large ship with people on it. They were all having a grand time jumping and partying. Then another one went by. It was pure white and towered high in the sky. People were jumping down from the top and being caught in white capsules that enveloped them. I was in awe.

It was then that a boat came and parked in front of my class. I was told that a game was on going. I watched as people got into seats and began tossing things at me and my classmates. They were suppose to hit us. If they did, they scored a point.

A ball came toward me and hit between my legs. The guy who threw it cheered and I said, “No, you didn’t hit me”. Everyone got silent and then they agreed, he had not made the point. So he tried again and I blocked him with a black and white backpack.

It was then that I was moved to another class. I don’t know why exactly but it was obvious that I was moved. I immediately noticed they were all wearing pure red clothes. I saw familiar faces and felt at ease.We stood together, this small group of five or so (all women), looking ahead. A blonde woman turned and looked at me and said, “You have lots of engrams”. I was shocked. What did she just say to me? I turned to a classmate standing beside me and asked, “Did you hear what she said?” “Yes,” she said, “But I don’t know what an engram is”. I said, “I do. I wonder why she said that?”

When I sat down, the same girl who said the strange thing to me approached me. She had blonde hair cut in layers and appeared to be in her mid-twenties. She said something to me about teaching ELA (English Language Arts). I recognized that she was introducing herself so I told her, “I am a teacher, too, but I don’t teach ELA”.

I thought for a while as did she. Then we both began to talk at the same time. I said, “I forgot, I don’t teach, I’m a counselor”. She said to me, “Oh yeah, I am also a counselor”. I remember feeling that I had said something good. I was remembering something important.

stewardWe are Stewards

I began to feel very weird at this time in the dream. I knew I was dreaming and all the dreams I had been having were coming into my mind at once. The symbolism was not lost to me and I was trying to understand it all. I began wondering to myself, “Why did I have a backpack again? Why was it black and white? And why am I now wearing red? Why did that woman tell me I had lots of engrams? And what was that death certificate about?”

This is when I awoke hearing the song in my mind. I let the energy envelope me.

I continued to wonder about my dreams. The feeling I had was perplexing. Why was I so happy? The energy continued to move through me and it reminded me of the colors I saw in my dream. Black and white. What do those colors mean? Yin and yang? Male and female? And then why did I move to red?

I instantly thought of my root chakra and heard, “We are clearing it”. The energy began to intensify and I hoped it would move into one chakra but it didn’t. It just lingered and felt calming.

Then I heard him say,”We are stewards”. I questioned this saying, “Me? You and I?” He replied, “Yes”.

Then I began thinking about what the woman said to me about engrams. An engram is a term used in Scientology. It is “a mental image picture which is a recording of an experience containing pain, unconsciousness and a real or fancied threat to survival. It is a recording in the reactive mind of something which actually happened to an individual in the past and which contained pain and unconsciousness. It must, by definition, have impact or injury as part of its content. These engrams are a complete recording, down to the last accurate detail, of every perception present in a moment of partial or full unconsciousness.”

The fact that I was told I have a lot of engrams was not surprising to me. I am sure I do. I thought about some of the past lives I have remembered and got a bit nervous.

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Working on the Heart

Yesterday was a good day overall but by the time I went to bed I was not feeling very positive about it. I had started to convince myself that everything that had occurred the night before and morning of had been untrue or ego-created. It left me with a deflated feeling and I could not fall asleep.

My guide interrupted my self-pity and said, “None of it has changed”. I told him I thought that the idea of me training to become a guide was ego-influenced. But the feeling I got from him was to stop thinking about it and meditate. So that is what I did for some time. I focused upon my body, starting at my feet and moving up to the top of my head. As I did this, I focused on how my body felt to see if there was something I was missing that my body was trying to tell me. Besides a few stiff joints and tense muscles in my chest and neck, there wasn’t much I got from this exercise. After I finished I rolled over and attempted to fall asleep but this time it was not immediate. I was caught up in thoughts about my work and solutions to a situation I have encountered (not a big one).

My guide once again interrupted my thoughts when I became a bit irritated by my wandering mind and lack of sleep. He said, “Focus upon your blessings”. So I did that and my mood immediately increased. I fell asleep not long after.

I’d Leave it All

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night from a dream I no longer recall. In my head was one phrase from a song called Budapest. The phrase I was singing in my head was “For you, I’d leave it all”.

I lay there singing the phrase over and over in my head for a while until it dawned on me that it was a message from my guide. I immediately knew it was about being a guide and commented to him on it. The phrase was very representative of a guide’s job. They are selfless in their work, compassionate in their nature and patient and loving with their charge. In effect, they “leave it all”, “all” being themselves, behind to do their job.

I again told him I thought that there was no way I was training to be guide. I had none of the characteristics that one would need to be a guide. I was impatient, selfish and quick to frustration and anger. My guide quickly reminded me, “You are not the same when you are here”. The impression was that when we are not in a body that all the flaws we had while in it are expressed to a lesser degree. Some of them are nonexistent when one takes into account the pure love and acceptance that exist on the Other Side. Impatience is tempered with understanding. Selfishness is nonexistent as there is no Ego to contend with. And frustration and anger are felt only as a memory of our human selves.

I have always been told that all guides must keep more of a connection to their human experiences than those who are not. I never asked how this was done. Since hearing that my guide has two other lives in the physical while also being a guide in the spiritual, I am guessing that the way guides maintain connection with their human experiences is because they are currently in a human experience!

I fell back to sleep after recognizing there was more to being a guide than I first thought.

krising1Walking-In

I found myself in an odd dream state. I was in school and I knew I was a student. What grade I was in, I was not sure but it was definitely elementary. I felt very out of sort; not myself at all. I was in a classroom sitting at a desk and looked around at the unfamiliar setting. I remember a boy who sat near me and other odd things that happened in between the recollections of being in the school. Is was like I was popping in and out of a scene and a body.

Every time I found myself in this classroom and in another beingness I was confused. Where was I? Who was I? What am I doing here?

At one point I was eating lunch. I stayed in the classroom because I did not want to be around the other kids. The boy stayed with me. Who was he? Why was he here with me?

I only recall a bit of this lunch experience. I had two drinks, one was a red colored juice. The boy questioned me about it. I told him, “I like having two drinks”.

I then found myself walking through the halls, stopping at the bathroom. I took a good look at myself in the mirror. The image was very vividly clear and unfamiliar. The girl was not me! She had long, wavy, dark blonde hair that went to her waist. Her face was round and she had large, sad eyes. She was quite stunningly pretty. Then, I looked at her body and saw she was wearing a sleeveless, light colored dress. Her arms were much too big, though and the rest of her was well. I remember being taken aback by how fat she/I was.

I looked again at the girl’s face to take my mind off of her fat. I was hit so suddenly with a repulsion of the way her body looked and felt ashamed for thinking it. I thought instead about how pretty her face was but could not help but think what a shame it was that her face was not pretty enough to distract from her obesity.

The dream continued on for some time after that. There was an encounter with a couple of dark skinned kids. The girl was very interested in getting this me to be her friend but there was something sinister about her that repelled me. She asked a lot of questions and requested that I be her partner for a class assignment. I sought out the boy instead, distrusting the girl. She seemed to want to do bad things and wanted me to help her do them. I was the quiet, shy, smart girl. Why would she want to be my friend? The whole situation felt very off.

I awoke from the dream not sure what to make of it. As I went over the image I saw in the mirror I realized this girl was me. Maybe a past me or a current me that I am unaware of. The rejection and sadness that hit me from focusing upon her memory was surprising to me. The fear of rejection strong and the disgust at her fatness even more so.

Working on the Heart

Later in the morning I recalled something my guide had said to me that I had forgotten. He reminded me that our work was not done and I instantly knew that I would be focusing on clearing my heart. This was prior to me going to bed and so now I am certain this dream, this “walk-in” as it would seem, was to help me recognize where certain aspects of my current personality come from. The most intense emotion came with the thought of being rejected. There was also intense fear of being fat. Interestingly, I have worked hard in this life to maintain a healthy, thin physique, sometimes to extremes. There was a feeling of unease around the girl and an overall distrust of her. In this life, I distrust people when I first meet them and it takes a very long time for me to fully trust a person. I actually don’t know if I really have ever fully trusted anyone. I always seem to be waiting for them to hurt me.

At first the dream had me thinking I must have regressed from “teacher” back to “student” but the feeling of the dream says this is not so. I was completely confused each time I found myself in the body of the girl as if I had been suddenly taken out of somewhere else. The whole experience/dream was very weird. The only thing I know for sure is that this dream initiated a strong emotional response from me. I felt the emotion build up in my chest as I recalled the image of the young girl, her sad eyes and overweight body. She was so beautiful! Yet life for her was misery because she was trapped in a fat body. So unfair!

by

Detroit

I had another interesting Kundalini experience last night. At least I think that is what it was.

I meditated prior to going to bed. This time I did not immediately fall asleep which surprised me. I did not do any self-healing or any specific meditation exercise. I have not felt the need to do such in quite some time. I did, however, focus upon my third-eye by rolling my eyes slightly up and back. I let my mind go as blank as possible, allowing thoughts to come in and then pass through without focusing on them. I also focused upon how my body felt, seeking out any tense spots or areas that hurt or felt off in some way.

I felt the normal sensations that have been coming to me when I do this. Specifically, my nose and the areas on either side light up with energy. One night my nose felt like it was going to fly off my face! Last night, though, the energy was more pronounced on the left side than the right. As usual it felt like a mask of energy over the front of my face.

I also felt my entire lower right leg below the knee covered in a sheet-like energy. It felt like my leg was wrapped in a large, soft sock. I was intrigued by this since that spot I mentioned in my last post is on that leg. I took a seaweed bath to try and suck toxins out of my body and wonder if that had anything to do with it.

At some point, I think when I had reached a point of “no thought” and just being because I do not recall thinking or dreaming or anything, I was startled awake by a strange and unfamiliar energy. It hit me suddenly and from the right, pouring through my entire body. I startled because I felt like I was about to be swept out of my body and upward because the energy hit with such intensity that I felt a slight falling and then lifting sensation. It made my body feel very, very heavy and dense and my entire head felt as if it were going to explode the pressure was so intense. Both of my ears filled with huge amounts of pressure and I could not hear anything but this muffled sound of air and my own heart beat. The sensation in my ears was exactly like what I have experienced when taking off in an airplane but I was laying in my own bed!

As I sat there in what I can only describe as a “bubble” of energy my guide whispered, “Do not be afraid. You are okay”. Interestingly, I wasn’t afraid at all, just curious and wondering what would happen next. Would I suddenly pop out of my body? Would I begin to hear voices or strange noises?

The odd pressurized sensation began to lessen in my right ear. At the same time it intensified in my left. I heard a slight ringing but nothing major. A minute or so later the pressure moved to my right ear and was relieved in my left. Then it repeated – left, right, left, right.

I know I must have tensed my body quite a bit from the sudden energy inflow because my guide reminded me to relax. So, I began to focus on my body and then noticed the heavy, dense energy was not on my lower body, below my hips, at all. I knew then that I needed to move the energy and so, with a quick thought and mental imagery, pushed the energy down and out my feet. When I did this, the dense energy moved very easily down my legs and the pressure in my ears normalized. I also moved my hands which had begun to feel like dead weights and when I did this the heaviness began to dissipate.

Detroit

I fell asleep quite quickly after that. I had once again asked my guide for more clarity on the message I received the day before. What exactly was I suppose to be doing here on Earth?

I found myself driving along snow-covered roads in an older, residential neighborhood. For some reason I knew where I was: Detroit, Michigan. I was heading to my new job and was looking for a specific address. On my way, I passed up the house accidentally and when I attempted to turn around I fishtailed out of control. When my car came to a stop a group of bystanders began to crowd around the car. I looked up as one approached. He was a tall, fairly young, African American man wearing familiar gang attire. I immediately became suspicious but not afraid. One of his buddies was behind him smiling a wicked looking smile. The man told me I should not be out alone at night in these parts. I told him I knew that. The man’s buddy then got out a knife and I knew that I needed to get out of there.

Somehow I closed the door and sped off. I felt they were pursuing me so I went very fast down the streets and then took the wrong turn on purpose. When I came close to my destination, I turned off my headlights and then slowly parked the car. A man was on the streets and I yelled to him to keep an eye out for the men.

I walked up to the door of the residence and knocked because I could not get in. I did not have a key. I heard a response but when I pushed on the door it opened.

Inside I was met by a nice, older woman dressed in very professional attire. She led me into a room where I sat down. Other individuals came in one by one. I only recall now the man who sat on my left and the woman who sat on my right. The man on my left was blonde and had an odd energy about it. I did not want to touch him because I knew he was interested in me in a sexual or romantic way. He rubbed his foot against mine and kept trying to have a conversation with me. He had an odd smell or something about him. I just didn’t want anything to do with him.

A tall, dark haired woman dressed in a suit and high heels walked up in front of the group and welcomed us. I listened, mesmerized. This was my new job and I needed to pay close attention. The man next to me kept bothering me throughout and I struggled to hear everything that was being said. I do remember discussing EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and other healing modalities. I was the oldest of a group of five people who would be working at this place. I don’t know what kind of place it was exactly but it seemed to be a school but all I heard was “charter”. I remember feeling a bit apprehensive about getting along with my group but not about the job itself.

Another thing that was very distinct here was that we were in Detroit. It kept being brought up and I remember wondering why I was so far north. I have been there only once and I didn’t like the place. It felt tainted by negative energy. I think that may be what it symbolized in this dream, too, because when I woke up I immediately told my guide, “I don’t want to work with those kinds of people”. In my mind I was recalling the students I use to work with. I worked with them for 8 years. They were either adjudicated, on probation or just completely wild and unwilling to follow the rules.

Kundalini_truthinsideofyouFurther Considerations

Now that I am considering my dream, I wonder if it was the answer to the question I asked prior to going to sleep. I did not specify this time that the answer not come in the form of a dream. I wish I had now. When I awoke from this dream it was the first time all night and I could not go back to sleep. I kept feeling urged to get out of bed, too. All I could think of was Detroit. Detroit? Why? And the people I was with, especially the blonde man, were familiar. Was he one of my guides? Why was he coming onto me? And why were they all so much younger than me? The man was 26 (not sure how I know this) and the woman was still in her 20s also. The entire dream/experience was similar to an OBE in that I had full awareness of what was going on while in the dream. I knew why I was there. I was starting a new job and this was my orientation. I knew the people, though I cannot remember their names now. I knew the location.

And the part that does not escape my notice is that I was arriving to be a teacher or something similar. I was not a student. This was my new JOB. And I cannot help but think of what my guide said to me yesterday (which I almost forgot until now). He said, “You need a purpose. You will have it soon”.

Sometimes I think all of this is just too surreal. I still catch myself thinking this whole experience is just beyond real and has to be a dream. I am reminded of the Bible and Moses when God spoke to him, giving him instruction on what to do. Is what I am experiencing like that? Was Moses talking to God? Or was he talking to his Higher Self or a guide? And I am not trying to say I am the next Moses. LOL I am just thinking out loud.

by

Graduated

I have been trying to make sense out of what is happening to me ever since my kundalini experience on the 12th. I am stumped. Why would all of that happen and then suddenly stop? Not only that, but the OBEs and lucid dreams that led up to the kundalini stopped as well. I feel as if I were built up and built up with exciting prospects for change only to be allowed to fall back down and be left to ponder what happened and flounder about in the physical. I feel completely let down and abandoned.

No More School

In a dream I visited a university campus. I felt very at home there and wished to stay but I knew it was just a visit. This saddened me and I spent as much time as I could there mingling with other students and visiting areas of the campus I was familiar with.

I recall going to the lobby of the dorms and seeing other students waiting in line for the keys to their mail boxes. I told them they would be waiting a while because I had waited and never gotten my keys. I then stopped and ate some chocolate fudge that was left there for the students. When I turned to look back, the students had gotten their mailbox keys. I wondered why I never got mine and it bothered me.

I went into the elevator and a young man pushed the number 6 and then the number 7. I thanked him, thinking he pushed the number 6 for me since that was my floor, but he looked at me strangely and I quickly realized he had just pushed his own floor number. I got out at the sixth floor and then found myself going back down and to the gym available to the students of the university. I watched the students going into the gym and waited, deciding to come back later and leaving again for my room to get my ID. I never went back because there was no ID to get. I was not going to be a student anymore. I graduated.

I met up with some rough looking guys, people I would never hang out with. I talked to them but I do not remember what we talked about. I left the university with them, though, and headed on a road out of town. I was in the lead driving but had no car, it was more like I was floating. I had to stop at a car wash where there was lined up many trucks. They left only one lane of traffic and I led the others out and around the parked trucks.

The dream ended with me grieving about not getting to stay. I told someone who was with me, “I want to stay here”. As I grieved I felt my root chakra activate and huge amounts of the energy shot up through me and into my physical body. I did not wake up, which would be the usual. Instead I continued in the dream and in grief.

Graduated

I woke up feeling very disappointed and sad. Though I did not get a direct message, I knew what the dream meant. I was no longer going to be going to “school”. I had graduated. I got the message earlier in the week that I had graduated but I assumed it meant I went to a new school and that more was awaiting me. I had gotten my hopes up for nothing. There would be no more school. I was done with whatever it was I was doing. I am not even sure now what that was. Maybe it was “ascension” or maybe it was just an adjustment of some sort. I do know that nothing is going on now. I am back to “normal”, or maybe even below normal as I am not having much in the way of spiritual experiences.

I tried to go back to sleep and soon found myself walking through a door that led into a dark room. My awareness peaked suddenly and I began to cry as I realized where I was and what was happening. I was being brought into a room by one of my guides. It was dimly lit but my vision turned on suddenly with my awareness and I saw lanterns lit along the sides of the room. It was a golden color and the feeling was that I was being brought in to receive a message.

Unfortunately, my awareness was too much and so I stopped the encounter with my guide before it began. I was only able to receive the calming energy that hit me in waves starting in my left side and radiating out my right side and up and down my entire body. I was too upset to allow it to continue for long, though. I told my guide immediately that I felt abandoned. He, of course, told me instantly that was not the case. I did not want to hear what he had to say. I knew he was going to tell me that I was done with whatever I had been doing, that the original plan had been changed, reasons unknown to me.

I got very upset because there is little I enjoy about the physical life I live right now. I look forward only to my sleep where I can escape into dreams that hopefully will turn lucid or where I can go OOB. Each morning when I wake up to realize I have once again not been allowed these little pleasures leaves me feeling that much more disinterested in life.

I was told this later on this morning:

To remain balanced between the Spiritual and the physical is a challenge few take on. It is worthy of only a few and you are one of the few. Beware indulgence in one or the other for you are both and to deny one is to deny part of yourself.

This only confirmed what I had assumed – that I am not continuing the spiritual transformation at this time because I need to focus on the physical. It is very frustrating because all the physical has to offer me is less than pleasant. For example, my baby is going through the clingy stage. If he is not in my lap or in my arms then he is crying non-stop. I cannot be alone without having to endure his cries, which to a mother is total torture. I would like nothing better than to fast forward time past this stage for it is my least favorite. I see so many women my age celebrating the graduation of their children and I envy them. Why did I wait so long to have children? I am too old for this.

I am told that it is time to move to the next “level” – whatever that means. From what I can make of the information I came back with from dreamland this morning, that level involves being a “teacher”. All I can think of is the countless days ahead of me spent tending to my children and it is overwhelming. I have concluded that I am just not very good at being a mother. Yet that seems to be what my guides are pushing me to focus upon. I would much rather have to endure a catastrophe where a bomb hits my house and I suffer horrible pain but then die a quick death than endure the suffering of a mother. Perhaps that is the “warrior” in me coming out. I have to laugh a bit at this because most would not want the pain of a horrible death and here I am not a bit afraid of that yet terrified of the prospect of being a mom! Ha!

Touche.

by

Cancelled

It has been a while since I have gotten any direct messages from my guides. It has almost felt as if I had been abandoned, though I know this is never the case. The entourage of 10 or 12 assistants/guides that have been with me since before December 12th recently dwindled back down to my normal 4, or my Team as I call them. Last night, however, the number increased back to 10. So, I suppose it should not have been a surprise that a message came soon after.

Becoming a Man

I had some odd dreams again and feel the need to include them since they came before the messages I received.

The first dream I recall is being with a tall, strong man. I don’t remember what he looked like, just the way he felt. His energy felt very large compared to mine and it surrounded me protectively, almost like a parent keeping an eye on their child.

We were talking about my need to pass as a man and I was being directed to pick out appropriate clothing at a store. I selected a large sweatshirt and jeans but when I put them on they were way too big. This I knew would be the case and I told my guide, “I told you they would be too big”. I then selected a medium sized shirt and pants and the same occurred. I remember thinking there was no way I would pass as a man. I was just too small. I told my guide that even a mens size small would be large on me. I never did try on the smallest size but instead thought about how tiny my female frame was and how difficult it would be to pass as a man.

Montana

The next dream I had was of being in Montana. Initially, I was in a store with my son. He had just woken up and was very hungry and grumpy. I walked along the isles looking specifically for an Odwalla drink, the green one, but I could not find one. Eventually I asked for help and the lady began to look up the drink on the computer while he associate gave my son a tiny pizza to make him happy. I accidentally dropped the pizza on the floor and picked it up while thanking the man. I never did get my drink.

When we left we traveled a wide dirt road. We encountered a group of men and one was carrying over the top of his head a large cow. It was wrapped up and huge and I remarked how I could never carry a cow that large but that I had cow tied one when I was small. Another man was there and took an interest, inquiring about where I was from. He was tall with blond hair and a rugged appearance.

He walked with me toward our land through the mountain passage. Somehow we ended up in his house. I became uncomfortable because I knew he was trying to distract me from going home. He took me into a room and asked me how I liked the house. I told him it was nice but I needed to get home. He then came closer and began to kiss me. I recall that he had slobbery kisses and the taste was not pleasant. I withdrew frommountain lake him pointing to my daughter who was sleeping in my arms (she is six so she was very big and I was holding her). He accepted this excuse but I was very uncomfortable by then and just wanted to get home.

Another man was there and they both questioned me about where we lived. I described it and they got out a map asking me to show where it was. I explained the property had been subdivided and showed where it was. The blonde man called to inquire about it and I remember him saying, “No, we are 1 and 2 not 3”. I recall wondering what he was talking about and recalling that our land was not in Montana but much farther south. I then asked my Mom, who was suddenly there with me, if she remembered the exit to our land. She nodded and said she did and I saw it in my mind, a tiny side road hidden in brush along the main route.

Disassembling Skeletons

I immediately found myself in a dream where I was standing in front of large animal skeletons. My job was to disassemble them. I took apart large bones, realizing they were cow bones or bones of a similar large animal. After I took off a bone I placed it in a simple white bag to be stored. I noticed that some of the bones had metal loops and screws in them where they were connected.

Symbolism of the above dreams:

Cow – symbolizes one’s docile nature; maternal instincts. The cow was bound in one dream suggesting a rejection of these qualities in myself. The bones of a cow suggest a lack of motherly emotions.

Shopping – represents one’s needs and desires. There is a selection process going on – choices being made or inspected.

Property – symbolizes feeling unstable in life; can also represent one’s current status in life. Since the property was broken up it may represent my feeling of being broken up in life.

Montana/mountains – represent determination and ambition as well as the higher spiritual realms. For me, I have actually lived in Montana so there may still remain some aspects from that time in my life that need to be addressed.

Messages

Upon waking from the last dream I saw in front of me a message being written. It was in glowing green letters and moved as if someone were writing it as I was reading it. It read:

“……has been cancelled……..”.

There was more to the sentence but I cannot remember the beginning or the end. The words disappeared as I recognized the word cancelled. I immediately wondered what it meant. I asked but received no answer. I understood it to mean that some plan or karmic debt had been cancelled or erased. I would no longer be addressing it in this life.

It appears that again some changes have been made to my plan. I did not feel good or bad with the receiving of this information. If anything, I felt a bit concerned. I asked if it meant my transformation would end. I was told, “No”, very firmly.

I fell back into the in-between state and found myself speaking to my guide. I got the same strong, protective and large feeling from his energy. He was standing and passing out something. He handed over to me a parcel of land. I saw a chunk of land broken off from a large piece and then it was passed over to me. It reminded me of a board game. The land was brown and two dimensional. Then gave me a set of golden keys. He said to me, “We will be here to help you”.

I immediately came out of my revere wondering what it meant. Why was he giving me keys to land? Was I going to get land? A house? I immediately thought it must be symbolic.

The symbolism of being given property and the feeling it gave me when I saw it was that a big change would occur in my life, one that separated me from my family in some way. The keys that come with it are gold and the symbolic meaning of this is that I will need to be adaptable to the changes but they will bring with them new opportunity and possibilities related to wealth and status.

I also heard the song Riptide by Vance Joy but only this part:

I just wanna, I just wanna know
If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay
I just gotta, I just gotta know
I can’t have it, I can’t have it any other way

Except I was singing the lyrics differently in my head. I was saying, “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna go. I just wanna, I just wanna stay”. I was hearing this more than singing it and it hung around in my head until I got out of bed.

Considerations

I went to bed last night feeling very odd. I have been feeling it a lot lately. I am having trouble seeing my life ahead. There is nothing there. No plans. No change. No feeling. I feel done with life and I don’t look forward to much of anything anymore. The same feeling of not enjoying anything that I use to enjoy has come back and it bothers me. I can’t seem to change it, either. So I asked for help. I guess that is why I got those messages. I am receiving that help, was told as much, but there is so much information missing. I just hope it is not anything bad. I don’t think I can handle anything bad. I need good things to happen now, not bad things.