Tag Archives: spiritual

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Lesson: Overcoming the Fear of Death

After the weird episode of sleep paralysis, my guide was close and instructing me. Unfortunately, I don’t recall everything we discussed as I was in and out of a state that is hard to describe.

I remember being told I would project. I then began to feel odd energy sensations indicative of the trance state except that there was the familiar Kundalini energy sensations as well. I had the energy helmet over my head and my chakras were lit up from my second all the way to my crown. Oddly, the root was not lit up at all. There was confirmation that it would be soon, though, just not at this point or this night.

I went into an in-between state several times after that.

Discussing Fear

I recall standing on the top of a vast mountain range looking out on a beautiful valley that spread for miles. The colors were vibrant and it looked like someone had taken a paintbrush full of every color imaginable and painted the scenery. Fantastically beautiful!

Next to me was my guide and we were discussing fear. It was explained to me that we were to practice confronting one of my last fears. This fear was interfering with my progress.

I said to him, “I am sorry”.

He replied, “It will be easy”.

I looked out on the scene in front of me and the reality took my breathe away. It felt like I was OOB yet there was a different element to it that I couldn’t put my finger on. I began to wonder, “Where are we?” Something in my questioning took me out of this beautiful, serene place and back to my physical awareness.

I was then told there was work to be done and to think of a place that made me happy. I began to think of the mountains and tried to recall the peace and serenity I had just had, but it was hard. The energy sensations then returned and I felt the horizontal and vertical vibrations that have been the norm for me lately.

Viewing and Experiencing Death

Then next thing I remember was both watching and experiencing the death of a man. The man was laying prone, arms and legs spread, as if he had been hit hard and knocked backward to the ground. I remember he was wearing a white shirt and that he was struggling to breathe. I assumed he was either gunshot or hit with something that damaged his chest area.

What is odd here is that I experienced the man’s death as if it were my own. The strange gasping for breath and the feeling of the life draining out of me. I was choking on my own blood. It felt similar to drowning. Not pleasant at all.

I had feelings during this time similar to the feelings I have been having the past several days in which I feel propelled from my body except here I was allowed to see the predecessor to it.

To not want to die; to leave the body by force because the body is dead creates all kinds of distress for the individual inhabiting the body.

Again I felt to be OOB but there was something different about it that was noticeable but indescribable.

I came back to my physical awareness from wherever I had been experiencing this and my guide said, “Death happens to everyone”.

I responded, “I know”.

A part of me worried I was being prepared for death.

He said, “Not that kind of death”.

My thoughts continued on in this direction, trying to put together all of the experiences I had had up to that point. Was I being possessed? Where would I go when I left my body? Would I come back?

I remember hearing responses amidst my questions.

“Death is only the beginning. You must be free of this fear. There can be no resistance”.

I understood what he was referring to. It was the energy swap. Any resistance would hinder the transfer. Fear results in resistance.

I didn’t even know I feared death.

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Council Confusion Clarified

Today as I finished channeling a message and was applying the title as is my normal sequence of action, I wanted to write Andromedan instead of Pleiadian in the title. This stopped me in my tracks. What Council was I receiving communication from?

As soon as my question formed in my mind, I received memory of the dream I had in which I was face to face with an entity that resembled a bald, white humanoid. I knew he/she was Andromedan (what pronoun do you use for androgynous, “it”? That doesn’t feel right). And now, with the question asked, this memory was given in answer. I was speaking to this individual, this Andromedan, and this Andromedan was not of the Pleiadian High Council.

Of course, I had to ask, how many Council’s are there?

I received instantly the answer: 3.

I understood immediately that my immediate Council, the one assigned to me and my group during their incarnations, are an extension of the Pleiadian High Council. I have three members (emissaries) who communicate with me directly, though I do not recognize them as individuals but more as a combined consciousness. I perceive communication as if it is coming through more than one individual. It is hard to describe but it is like I am receiving three transmissions and somehow they combine into one, single message in the end. I am told it is the way my mind processes these transmissions that causes this discrepancy.

When I receive message from my High Council, this is where it is coming from.

So there is my High Council, the Pleiadian High Council, and then there is the Council of Many.

From what I am being told, the Council of Many is a combination of representatives from various planets or civilizations in the Federation. It is far larger than my High Council and the Pleiadian High Council. One could relate the Pleiadian High Council to the representative body of a state while the Council of Many is the representative body of an entire nation. An individual’s High Council is more along the lines of a personal team of consultants sent forth by the representing body. In my case, Pleiadia.

Some of you might have wondered what the difference is between one council and the other, so now you know. I don’t know why I never thought to ask before. Perhaps it is because up until today, they all felt the same with the exception of my individual Council feeling a bit closer than the others. “Closer” meaning they feel more connected to my energy, similar to a guide but with more presence.

Who’s on my Team?

Since December of last year I have sensed 12 around me pretty much non-stop. I am told this is a combination of representatives from the Council of Many, my Council (so also the Pleiadian High Council) and my guides and assistants. In my mind I am reminded of my most recent OBE where I walked past my Team and then met up with a guide. The gowns and sashes they wore was an indication of who they were. The white gowns with gold were Council members. Those in black were guides and assistants. The colors worn with the black robes indicate what their specific role was.

I am still trying to figure out what the color red signifies, as that was the color sash my guide was wearing. Is it associated with the chakras or something else? And gold and silver, what do those colors signify? I am super curious now and wish I had paid more attention while OOB. Instead, I had focused on meeting the woman who I now know was the member of my soul group (Stephanie) who left life prematurely. I wanted to see her, touch her and welcome her Home.

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Dreams: Deforestation and the Number Three

There was another shift in energy yesterday, at least I sensed it. I awoke in another sour mood but was able to shift out of it without issue and the day went about as normal but with low energy. However, the night revealed the shift was an actuality.

I awoke in the middle of the night from a dream I do not, could not, completely remember. The only thing I remember was that I had been in a completely white room and there were images floating around me. I felt completely peaceful when I awoke. It was like a weight had been lifted. I smiled and thanked my guides and fell back into a blissful sleep.

Deforestation

I found myself within a dream but not lucid. The dream was very vivid but that was it. I was inside a home with other women who were all mothers. We were eating a meal I had made and discussing our children. I can still taste the meal! I remember telling them about my most recent pregnancy and how easy it was even though I had was of “advanced maternal age”.

There was a point where I was organizing a shelf and someone had broken a figurine. I went to repair it and the bottom of the shelf became sand and I had dug a hole. I then began to uproot grass that was invading the area.

The dream shifted and I was suddenly aboard what appeared to be an amusement park ride but the car I was in was floating in mid-air all by itself. It was a bench seat and I was on the end holding on for dear life. The other women were with me and I was holding onto one’s hand.

The car moved like a helicopter (if you have ever been in one they can make your stomach flip flop) over the top of craggy mountain peaks. I looked below me and saw that the mountains were very rocky and almost completely devoid of trees. They looked barren although still majestic.

Then we flew into another area and I noticed vast expanses of green begin to appear. We flew closer and I saw that it was millions of tiny saplings growing in different stages. I was in awe and somehow knew that I was being show the devastation caused by deforestation and the hope that it could be reversed.

As we continued to fly (I felt like I was in a Harry Potter movie!) the trees began to grow taller and taller and the scene began to get more and more beautiful. I began to cry happy tears. We approached an old school building that appeared to be from some other time. It had ornate decorations and when I saw it I got very excited, as if I knew where we were going.

I saw the trees turn ancient at this time as well, their gray and twisted bark and green foliage very distinct. The car slowed and we entered the building.

Suddenly I was walking along an amusement park sidewalk and to my right was a large, shallow pool with bumper cars in it. All was quiet and no one was around.

I moved closer and saw the mechanism to turn on the ride but did not touch it. Suddenly the pool was alive with small, doll-like children. They were all the same age and seemed like cartoon characters at first but the turned more realistic. They came and encouraged all to get on the ride. I did not.

I watched as the people I was with got into the ride and it swirled them about in the water. They were strapped in and looked to be having fun. The conductor looked over at me. He was a man I had not noticed before with dark hair and blue eyes. He stared at me and I knew he wanted me to get on. I felt uncomfortable, suddenly knowing I was wearing a swimsuit under my clothes.

I thought of the shoes I was wearing worried they would get wet and then, not caring, decided to get in. The scene again shifted.

Three Bathrooms

I was waiting with the women to use the bathroom. I suddenly had the urge to have a bowel movement. I went to the bathrooms and was told that all but one of the three was broken. I waited and got a call from my husband. I answered it and he told me to be home by 1pm. I said I had not yet started and was a bit shocked he wanted me home so soon. The bathroom opened up and I let another woman in.

The scene shifted again.

Three Boys

I was traveling along a road in a car and stopped as a large, semi truck was going through a small tunnel. I got in line behind it and watched it squeeze through. Then I followed behind at high speeds and had to slow for a little boy was running about. He was attached to a car by a long cord that came out of his center. I followed him to the car as he climbed in. He was not a very nice little boy but good enough that he listened to me as I climbed into the car to take the wheel. He had two brothers with him, one in the back and the other, the smallest, in the front. I told the older boy to turn off the music (it was playing Cold Play) and looked at his brother. He had the most gorgeous green eyes and I complimented him on them. He seemed wise beyond his years. I was in the back seat at this time.

Upon Waking

When I awoke I knew I had been OOB but just had not been lucid enough to notice. As soon as I thought this, a voice from my right said eagerly, “That was me. I was with you!” A little irritated to have my thoughts interrupted I ignored him. He said again, “That was me! That was me!” I acknowledged him this time saying, “But you are male. I was with a group of women”. He stayed silent after that as I thought of my dreams.

I realized the number three was significant here. The three represents the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of me. Currently I must be working on the physical.

I felt, still feel, so much lighter today and happier. I now know the individual who was talking to me when I awoke was Spirit, not a guide. I feel bad now for not acknowledging him better. I suspect he was one of the little boys from my last dream.

I had this song in my head when I woke up, too. Specifically this part:

If scars are for the living
Then I could be forgiven
And everything you need
I could give you
If scars are for the living
Then I could be forgiven
And everything you have
I take too

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Visions

My recent communication with my Council about the state of the planet seems to be coming back to me day in and day out. I try not to think much on the changes coming but that seems not to matter. Every day there is something, some news or some current catastrophe, that brings it to the forefront.

Visions 2003

One of the most upsetting aspects of my initial spiritual awakening was the spontaneous visions and knowingness about what was to come. I don’t talk about them much because I don’t like putting that kind of negative information out there, just in case I may contribute its manifestation. Yet evidence is showing it is manifesting despite my holding back what I saw.

What did I see? I will tell you now as I feel it is relevant and believe what my Council said – there is not much that can be done about it. All we can do is prepare. That is why the information is given, so that we may prepare.

Changed Coastline

One of the first visions I had was similar to the featured image of this post. It was a detailed map of the United State. My attention went directly to the Mississippi River which was completely unrecognizable because it was flooded hundreds of miles beyond its banks. The next thing I noticed was the almost complete lack of Florida. It was just….gone. There was also a huge chunk of Texas’ coastline submerged and much of the southern United States was in the same boat.

I did not look much at the West but I knew that California was gone. I also knew a chunk of it was lost to an earthquake, sinking it further into the ocean.

You can imagine how I reacted to this. At the time I tried to stop the images, but to no avail. I then panicked and was reassured I would be okay. The time frame for this was beyond my lifetime but I would be witness to these changes as they gradually occurred.

Articles such as this one – Sea Rise Threatens Florida Coast – do not surprise me. They only confirm the inevitable is on its way.

War Zone

Another upsetting vision I had was of standing amidst the rubble of a war zone. I happened to be standing on a familiar area – a school in a flourishing city near a military base. The devastation was beyond words. Nothing was left. It was all ash.

I knew it had been bombed and many had died. I again panicked, thinking it was the near future, but was reassured it would be during a time when I was far from the area. I still worry about when it will happen but feel there is not much I can do about it.

Great Migration

Another vision I had was of a great migration of people from areas of high population to areas of low population. This is in part due to the crazy climate changes, flooding, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, drought, and civil upset. You can image the kinds of upheaval this will cause.

What I saw for the U.S. was movement inland. First it would be toward the mid-west but as the changes increase more and more people will move into areas that are now less populated, specifically the mountain regions of Nevada, Utah, Montana, Wyoming, New Mexico and Idaho. Looking at the map, you can see why this would be.

The weather changes will be weird as well. This will be in part due to the tropic and subtropic zones shifting. With the change in the poles, this is a normal occurrence. For the U.S., the tropics will be shifted north into the southern part of Texas, extending the subtropics into the Midwestern regions. Right now the tropic of Cancer goes across central Mexico.

2050

The year I kept getting was 2050 as a tipping point. Before that, denial will be rampant. People don’t like to change their ways. They will stay despite knowing it is not in their best interest. Government changes will also cause much turmoil and I saw another period where civil war was a very real threat. As for actual war occurring, I never saw it, just the possibility of it. I mostly picked up on terrorism and similar activities along with upheavals in Asia and India.

I also knew there would be epidemics. I don’t believe it is biological warfare, but I did not get specifics causes of these occurrences, just that they would occur.

Not a Scare Tactic

Honestly, I am not trying to scare anyone anymore than my visions were meant to scare me. It is just a warning giving us time to prepare.

There is evidence of these things happening now if you look for them. I was told to stay put; not to change locations. I am safest where I am for the time being. I trust I will know if I need to move my family. I know I will be safe and often times see a vision of myself standing in the middle of a hurricane-like storm of change. I stand in the eye, untouched in the calm, while chaos erupts around me.

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Dream Themes

The sleep disturbances continue.

I have been medicating my sleep with Benadryl so that I feel rested in the morning. However, for the last couple of days I have felt I should not take it. In this time I have come to understand why. I was missing dream messages and it was time to take notice.

The change in my sleep patterns is obvious. It goes like this: I struggle to fall asleep and when I do, I wake immediately after a dream. I fall asleep and the cycle continues. I woke about five times last night and each time from a vivid dream.

Eyes

In the past two night I have had dreams where I am fiddling with my eyes. In the first dream, I was putting in my contact lenses. One of the lenses was a large, pink pill the size of my eye! I saw it, thought it odd, but went ahead and inserted it into my eye. I blink and it dissolved into my eye and I went about my dream without issue.

In last night’s dream I took out my contacts because my eyes were dry and placed them into large, square dishes the two hands in length. A woman questioned me and I told her, “My eyes are dry, so I am giving them a break”. I later put them back into my eyes as I was leaving the scene of the dream.

Eyes symbolize enlightenment, understanding, subconscious, and awareness. They also indicate there is something that is being seen clearer than it may have been in the past. I seem to be playing with my awareness in my dreams – noting how I can choose to “see” or not see. The pill is interesting and in itself indicates restoration and healing. It is pink in color, representing love. In the dream I am inserting it into my right eye which indicates that I am accepting of healing of my physical self.

Manifestation

Another dream theme I am seeing involves exploring possibilities and manifesting desires. In one dream I allowed my husband to buy us a new house. He bought a mansion and inside I explored the rooms. He spent $410,000 on the house, which was twice what I thought we could afford but I shrugged it off. Inside the house there was a room that was elaborate with gold embellishments and a huge drum set that took up half the room. I remember thinking, “This room is not necessary”. The kitchen had small, shallow, black filing cabinets lined up inside it. I remember talking to my husband about the files we could put inside them.

When I woke from this dream I immediately thought, “I need to manifest what I want”. There was a feeling that I am too self-limiting when it comes to material things in life. It is time for me to allow myself to have more. This was what I was exploring in the above dream. It exposed my belief that having too much is excessive as represented by the room with the drums. The filing cabinets represent things I store or file away for use in life such as beliefs I hold on to.

Celebration

There is also a theme that indicates I have much to celebrate. In last night’s dream I was waiting in a doctor’s office to get my papers to go home. I was with a group and we were transferred to a room where there were people gathered to remember a passed loved one. There were images of the person who passed and everyone was grieving but I felt no grief for him as I watched images on a screen of his life. In the images the man was gutting his house and there were tubes all over the place. He died as a result. I recall feeling connected to him and happy for his successful transformation. We were then were led to another room and all let out a cheer together for our accomplishment.

When I woke from this dream the leg I had surgery on was covered in healing energy and I had a feeling that all was well.

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On Restriction

I began to notice an energy shift a couple of days ago. At first it was subtle but it was affecting me. I felt “off”, like something wasn’t quite right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Yesterday the energy was even more noticeable and dense. It hung over me like a cloud and I recognized that the shift was coming in hard and fast. This morning I didn’t want to get out of bed and I my mood was sour. I have adjusted now, but it has been so long since I awoke in a sour mood that it surprised me.

On Restriction

Last night I requested more information on the energy shift I am perceiving. I also asked if I could go OOB, lucid dream, or at least have some sort of wonderful energy-bliss experience. Finally I asked to see my Council, since I had never seen them before.

I was told that the perceived shift was indeed real and that it was to continue for the remainder of this week. As for my request for some kind of spiritual or OOB experience, I was told, “Not for two weeks”. When I asked why, I was told, “Your body is in peril”.

When I heard the word “peril” I wondered if it meant death but immediately knew the definition here was “risk”. In contemplating why this would be, I knew that it was because my body was recovering from my recent surgery still and that what was needed now was rest and recuperation.

How odd that a simple surgery to close one vein could result in such a long period of rest. Yet there also was the knowing here that it is much more than just the surgery that is the cause of this need. The energy shift and the resulting reorganization of the energy structure of my body is also at fault. Dense energies such as these hit the lower chakras that hardest. These are the chakras that are the most blocked by upsets in life. For me the result is a bone-deep tiredness and fatigue mixed with a high mental energy and restlessness.

Golden Lights

I fell into a restless sleep, still requesting to go OOB. I received confirmation from my Council – “Your request will be considered”. This was enough for me as I have faith that my Council will do what they can to fulfill it.

I found myself in a very odd dream. In hindsight, it appears that the dream was odd because I would drift in and out of the in-between state, coming very close to achieving lucidity.

In the dream I was laying in my bed and there was someone with me. This person was nudging me and talking to me about “waking up” and kept telling me someone wanted to talk to me. This person was pointing and nudging and shaking me and I was vaguely aware of being in a gray, shifty environment. I would shrug off the nudging and say, “I want to sleep”. I could feel myself trying hard to wake up but I felt overcome with exhaustion.

At one point I spoke to this person, who by now seemed to have a feminine feeling about them. She was asking me, “Wouldn’t you like to talk to them?” and I responded, “I would like to talk to my Grandaddy”. I was flooded with images of my grandparents during this time. My arm was being pulled and I remember wanting to get up but also not wanting to.

Something about the conversation and the pulling sensation woke me up. When I came to I was in the midst of intense hypnagogic imagery and subtle vibrations. My vision was flooded with a golden mandala-like image that moved and seemed to breathe with life. It was quite beautiful and I noted that it contrasted with the black and white images that have been commonplace of late when I wake in such a state.

Recognizing that I should not focus on the images, I began to try and relax and fall into the vibrations. When I did this, I began to notice my heart pounding in my chest and immediately knew that this would be too distracting to allow me to leave my body. I ignored the heart pounding and looked through the moving mandala image. There I could see a golden, winding staircase. I willed myself toward it but I must have been trying too hard because the minute I did this the imagery disappeared and I was wide awake.

Not too upset over the missed opportunity I fell back to sleep into odd dreams. When I awoke in the morning, I was overcome with the sour mood. I immediately was hit with intense, calming energy that radiated over my entire body. When it hit my leg it was uncomfortable and it was obvious that the trauma from my surgery was causing it. I thanked my guides and sighed. Two weeks seems like such a long time. At least I got the hypnagogic images.

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Seek and Destroy

I am back in session. This time I am seeking out the last remnants my past that have a hold on me. The current step is confronting change. Changes I wanted. Changes I didn’t want. Changes I tried to make happen that didn’t. Changes that happened to others. Changes that were expected and those that were unexpected.

So far, I am finding that I am not a prisoner of change. This is refreshing and gives me hope. Change in inevitable and the more you resist, the harder it is on you. I have learned this lesson time and time again. I feel like an old pro.

The next step is eradicating old, defective, destructive and illogical belief systems. This one will be harder. I am certain my eyes will be opened to beliefs I didn’t even know I had. I will share those with you when the time comes. It will be very soon.

For now, I will share with you my current wins which are that in looking back at very upsetting, emotionally tumultuous times in my life (parent’s divorce, my own divorce, death, etc) I can say with 100% certainty that these events no longer have any hold over me. I can (and did) look at these events, see the lessons learned, and appreciate them for what they contributed to me as a person and as a soul. There are no regrets. There are no more tears. There is no more hatred or guilt. I feel completely freed.

I have not done this with past lives. Yet. But to be freed from the current life is a huge step in itself and clears the path to the bigger one. I am ready.

The Super Power You

With many on this opening up to their HIgher Self, this “ascension” and Shift, much of the changes come on without any prompting. The individual does not always want nor are they always willing to endure the transformation. This resistance builds, even without the person wanting it, because of fear of what is next and what “ascension” means. I have been there.

The fear of the unknown, I believe, is perhaps the worst. But there comes a time when you realize that nothing is truly unknown and there is nothing to fear at all of who you are transforming into. It is just You. It isn’t some new person with superpowers and sudden ability to dematerialize into thin air in broad daylight. Yeah, okay, maybe some say they have dematerialized, but it isn’t a literal loss of the physical body into tiny particles that sparkle and fly away (wouldn’t that be cool, though!). It is transcending the physical body via the consciousness, via the other subtle energy bodies that we have available to us.

The final end product of all this hoopla is that you become MORE YOU, the FULL YOU. That isn’t scary, is it? However, you can’t do that by force. Some part of it, at some point, will have to be initiated by you. Your participation is necessary. If you resist, if you say to your Higher Self, “I want no part in this”, then you will slow down and ultimately it could be that you defer your shift to another life. This doesn’t mean you fail, it just means you wait.

I don’t want to wait. So I am going to participate. I am going to battle my demons head first. I want to clear that path to my Self as best I can and I now feel totally, 100%, capable of doing so. Because I have learned it was me, all along, that was “forcing” this transformation upon me.

Do you really want to fight yourself?

Change perspective. Shift with the shift. It will flow so much better and life will transform before your eyes. This is the “super power” You. It is that simple.

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Sublimation of Old Earth Energies – Message from the Council of Many

The connection between myself and the Council can be felt at all times now. It is interesting to me how easily, how simply, the information flows through me.

The last phase in the Trifecta is upon us. This subtle energy has been intensifying over the last couple of days and will continue through the weekend with effects being felt as soon as tonight but most definitely by Saturday morning.This energy is of the denser frequencies; the frequency of old earth energies being burned off and sublimated.

For those of you who have been working on your lower three chakras and/or your heart chakra, these denser energies will move through these chakras initiating a reciprocal response in similar energies that still linger there. The response by individuals will vary from feeling an emotional heaviness or deep somberness, to a experiencing a higher level of fatigue and need for more hours of sleep as the body adjusts and sublimates the energy.

In those individuals who have been adjusting and aligning the higher chakra centers of the throat, third eye and crown, this final phase will bring out a deeper connection to your Higher Self, opening channels and conduits that have long remained dormant. You ability to “see” into the other realms will clarify and your Oneness will be felt with ever more certainty and resolve.

It is a time of a great sloughing off of the old and a reemergence of the You that has been forgotten. The peeling away of lifetime old layers of beingness, of masks you have worn in fear of being exposed for all you have done that you regret, is coming to an end for many who are in this phase of transformation. For others there will be a continuation in this phase for you have yet to come to an understanding of your full essence; you have yet to truly love yourself – good and bad. This cannot be forced and do not chastise yourself for not being ready yet to move into your new self.

The next phase will not be as physically challenging as it is the unfolding of your Self. It is tentative for most but be assured that you will not fail. You are like a flower bud opening for the first time. Slowly, but surely you will radiate brilliance and open fully to the light that is you.

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Cerebral Enhancement

I had difficulty sleeping last night. I meditated prior to sleep and went into what I can only call a “space” where I had no memory of thought or action or anything, yet I was not OOB nor was I dreaming. I felt subtle vibrations in and around my entire head but they were not overpowering, just gentle and relaxing.

I came out of my reverie and felt much time had passed but upon seeing the clock realized it had only been 30 minutes. Where had I gone to? I had no memory. Weird.

I attempted to sleep after that and the next hour or so I found myself in a state I have never before experienced. I was in the in-between, which is common for me, but instead of moving into the dream world as usual, I stayed there right on the edge. The typical dream thoughts and images would begin to form as is usual when I begin to fall asleep. What is odd here is that when these thoughts began to manifest, just as I would recognize a sentence or pattern, I would be jolted with an electrical current through my mind that would literally shake my awareness, throwing the stream of thought out of alignment and giving me a feeling of disorientation.

These “jolts” would pull me out of the in-between and I would have to return to a state of no-thought in order for the electrical current to fade. I want to emphasize here that the jolts of energy were not comfortable. It made me feel disoriented and unsettled to the point that I began to feel symptoms in my second and third chakras similar to nausea, but not physical. It was like spiritual nausea. Additionally, my head felt expansive and full of many currents of energy coming from more than one direction. It is as if I was being injected with energy from several vantage points outside of my physical body. When these currents would “jolt” me it was when they made contact with my thoughts. If there were no thoughts, there would be no jolt or uncomfortable symptoms.

After being jolted multiple times I finally appealed to my guides for help saying, “I want to sleep! What is happening?” I got the response, “Sleep”, along with a comforting feeling saying all was okay. I was so tired by this point that I must have been able to ignore any additional jolts because I fell asleep.

Cerebral Enhancement

This morning the memory is still vivid of these uncomfortable jolts of energy. I requested an explanation and this is what I was told:

You are undergoing a cerebral enhancement and reorganization. It is unfortunate that you were witness to these enhancements for they can be uncomfortable to the physical body. The thought patterns you witnessed forming in your mind were exposing specific pathways that needed adjustment. Once this reorganization is complete you will have better control over your mental processes, thoughts and awareness.

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Halfway Point

I am halfway there. “There” being completely merged with my Higher Self.

How do I know this? This is what my Council tells me. It is with certainty that I know it to be true. There is so much more certainty now and so many changes materializing within me. I feel like a part of me has been freed from confinement. I feel like jumping with joy and yelling “Hallelujah!”

I wish I could accurately describe in words what is happening, what I am experiencing, but the words escape me. It is a feeling that is indescribable yet it feels so familiar, so true. It feels like I am finally becoming Me!

The calm feeling has not left. I don’t know how long it has been but it has been so normal in my daily like that I am wondering if I will ever be the old me again. I literally can see that me going away. She is vanishing. I am experiencing a vanishing of my old self. Right. Now.

I can tell you what I notice that is so different. The following is a list of the changes that are occurring:

  • My mind is quiet.
  • My emotions are stable more than varied.
  • I no longer have pangs of anxiety in my stomach or that “sinking feeling” I use to get with “bad” news.
  • I experience moments in waking life as if I am the observer.
  • I am remembering more of myself (hard to explain).
  • I am getting more “downloads” day and night and and I am noticing when this occurs.
  • I have more space; I feel expansive.
  • I spend more time in the present moment and less in the past or future.

I feel deeply connected to everything. This is the expansiveness, the space, I speak of. This connection seems to enhance my connection to my Council and Higher Self. The “downloads” (don’t know what else to call them) happen infrequently but when they do I find I am overcome with a feeling of being “paused”, like time stops in that moment. Then I “open up” and there is an expansion of awareness, an understanding that cannot be put into words, and I feel a recognition and appreciation for the experience. When it is done, it lasts only perhaps a minute or so, I feel changed though I cannot explain how.

I am told that I will soon become aware of being aware. I am also told to not worry, that this part is “easy” and though I once doubted that it would be, I am starting to think this is probably the easiest I have had it since the kundalini energy first started rising last year.

It is funny, but I am excited, though on the outside you would think I was calm or maybe contented, but definitely not excited. That is probably the most amazing part of this part of the experience for me – the level emotions! The roller coaster seems to have disappeared. But this does not mean I don’t feel, I just choose to feel what I want to feel and back off from what I don’t want to feel. Honestly, I don’t know how I am doing it and when I try to think about how it could be that I am suddenly so different, my thoughts never materialize past a mild curiosity. I note it and then, pleased, go back to silence.

I have so much more silence. I never thought my mind could be so quiet.

This is amazing!