March 25, 2023 by Dayna

Dream: Wac(k)o

March 24th. Good sleep, lots of dreams. No lucidity. No surprise.

Dreams

Didn’t bother to jot down notes after the dreams so my recall is low except for the last dream.

Visiting Houses

Me and my family (didn’t recognize any of them though) were visiting various houses. From the outside, they looked like small, quaint abodes. No reason to think they would be different on the inside from each other. However, inside, the houses were very different. In the first few houses the inside was just one, large room with bathroom, kitchen, bedroom and living room all in one space. In the first couple, beds were in the middle of the space, kitchens were just a sink and a stove, bathrooms were a toilet. As we continued, the houses began to change little by little. In the next few, the one room had better bathroom facilities such as an entire bathtub in the middle of the wall in the center and kitchen countertops with fridges that were very shallow and topped with microwaves. Still, as we progressed, the one room would be sectioned off and a very tiny, bedroom would be in the space.

The last house we visited was very unlike the others. It was bigger inside and had levels, a kitchen, a reading nook and various small stairs leading to the levels. As we walked through, I marveled at the books in the space and the way it was decorated.

The man who owned the house was there and he was very nice. When I looked closely at him he resembled someone familiar. His face was severely wrinkled, though, like he was very, very old.

At one point, I walked up some steps, leaning on the rails, which then broke under my weight. The owner approached and helped me. He said, “I need to fix that. Someone’s going to get hurt.” He peered over the rails, so I did, also, expecting a long drop. There wasn’t one.

I mentioned to the man how I liked his books and commented he had “all the good ones”. He laughed, pointing to a book I had just passed and saying, “That’s a sequel”. I continued back towards the front of the house. I marveled at a fish aquarium that was sealed in glass. It looked like a mini version of the one I have in waking life. I wondered how he could feed the fish but thought it a good idea that it was sealed, that way it never had to be cleaned.

I liked the man’s house and thought, “I could live here.”

In Custody

I was driving a white care along a highway. My friend was in the car with me. I remember she and I were planning to go on a long trip but were doing some shopping before we left. I thought about driving on the highway and didn’t want to. It made me anxious. So, I told her, “I don’t want to drive on the highway. Maybe we can just keep shopping?” I kept driving. In my mind I was thinking it safer to stay close to town in a familiar area.

As I drove, I kinda blanked out, staring off as if in a trance. I was pulled out of my reverie when my friend grabbed the wheel from me. I felt the car brake suddenly as it veered to the side of the road and came to a stop. I could do nothing but let it happen. My friend pointed and I saw a patrol car’s flashing lights behind us.

I immediately jumped out of the car and apologized to the approaching officer, telling him I didn’t see him and feeling uncertain as to why he stopped me. I felt weird. I told him I had a headache and wasn’t feeling very good, which wasn’t true. I just didn’t know how to describe what I felt. He took me with him. I don’t recall being handcuffed, though.

Then I was inside a narrow building sitting in a seat that reminded me of the seats on a school bus. My husband was with me and my friend was gone. I was confused and didn’t know where I was. I remember the officer questioning us and seeing him writing on slips of paper, like tickets. This is when I became aware that I was wearing a warm, winter hat and a heavy coat because my head began to get warm and I took off the hat. I said, “I bet they’re wondering why I’m wearing a hat.” A woman, wearing a fleece hat, looked at me and I remember thinking I wasn’t the only one.

I got antsy as I waited, confused. Somehow, I ended up going for a walk outside the tiny police station. My friend was there again and I was talking aloud, wondering how we got there and where we were. The terrain was unfamiliar to where I thought we were going. What I recall seeing is tall, thick trees and vegetation, occasional boulders, and deep ditches. The road itself was only a two lane, paved highway, and very narrow. I could see no towns or evidence of people anywhere.

Eventually, I zoned out again. When I came out of my zombie-like state, I was walking north and all alone. I turned to look back at where I had come from and realized I had walked quite a distance from the station. I could see it, a blue, oblong container-like unit sitting amidst tall pine trees. So, I turned and ran back, hoping my absence wasn’t noticed and I wouldn’t get in more trouble. I dropped my black, winter coat somewhere along the roadside.

I entered the station, which again was very narrow and resembled the inside of a bus. No one seemed to notice my absence. The officer was handing out the judge’s decisions. They were in the form of letters in envelopes. The woman next to me was handed hers and then the officer handed me a piece of paper with lots of writing on it. It had my husband’s name on it, not mine. The slip indicated he was free to go, no charges, no fines. My husband wasn’t there, though.

Another person near me was being questioned before being released. The questions were about some pills he had with him. I had a visual of a small bag of tiny, pink pills. Specifically, the officer asked if the pills could be crushed and snorted, and, if so, would taking too many cause hemorrhage. I don’t remember the answer but I knew the answer was “yes” because I had a vision of someone’s nose bleeding uncontrollably.

Confused, I wondered where my slip was. I was never handed one. Instead, the entire station began to move. I looked out the window and saw the scenery I had just seen on my walk. I thought, “Maybe I will find my coat on the side of the road somewhere.” Unfortunately, the road went by fast and I couldn’t make out anything on the side of it.

Eventually, it was obvious we had traveled far beyond where I had walked. The scenery began to look more and more treacherous, with boulders, steep ditches, downed trees and obstacles that had been moved aside. I saw where the old road had been, a road that was familiar, but it had been closed because of downed trees and other damage. The bus went left on a detour road. This road was only two, well-traveled juts cut into dirt and gravel.

I knew we were traveling in the opposite direction to where I wanted to go. In my mind, I saw us in Texas, traveling north. I somehow got it in my head that we were going to Waco. To my right, I saw a small town taking form. It looked like something from another time. I heard a voice over a loudspeaker as we passed the town but can’t remember what it said. Whatever it was, it made me nervous and upset and I didn’t want to be on the bus, going wherever it was going.

I began to panic because I had left my cell phone in my coat pocket. What would I do in this far away place without any way to communicate with the people I know? I told the officer up front, “I don’t have my phone. I left it in my jacket pocket, which I dropped on the road. I need my phone. I don’t remember anyone’s phone numbers.” I began to cry at the idea of being somewhere far away and having no way to communicate with anyone. This woke me up.

Interpretation

I think the second dream symbolizes heading “down the wrong road”. It seemed like a warning dream.

The part where I don’t want to venture out on the highway but opt to stay close to town and the familiar is very much how I am in life. It is easier and feels safer to keep things as they are. It is familiar and comfortable.

I zone out twice in the dream. “Zoning out” in the dream is me losing awareness or sleepwalking. It is symbolic of how I’ve been lately. I let things continue as is, going into a kind of automaticity. Something unexpected wakes me up and I am forced to stop. Then, the police take me. Police symbolize an intervention by higher forces; fate.

Then I spent the rest of the dream confused and unable to stop what is happening. There is a moment where I talk with my friend about heading north (typically a good direction to go) but then I zone out again, losing time and panicking about leaving the police station. So, I recognize the station/police as needed/necessary. Or maybe I just return because I am confused and see the station/police as a safe place?

The most memorable symbol is the heavy winter coat I am wearing. Coats = protection. I drop it and my phone (communication) and then wish I hadn’t.

Also, I think Waco maybe symbolizes “Wacko”, as in “crazy”. My daughter often calls Waco by the name as a joke because of the Branch Davidian tragedy that occurred there.

February 4, 2023 by Dayna

Ice Storm 2023

It seems each year brings at least one major weather event (lately more than one). This year brought a particularly severe ice storm to my area. I’ve not seen this much ice since my high school years! The storm brought severe destruction to the areas trees which in turn damaged property.

It has been especially sad to see many very old Live Oak trees completely destroyed. Live Oaks keep their leaves through the winter months and, with the ice coating all their leaves and branches plus a second round of rain the night of the 2nd and morning of the 3rd, they just couldn’t handle the strain. In two of the pictures above, 25+ year old trees were completely decimated. They make a scary sound when they break under the strain of the ice, too. It sounded like thunderclaps. I imagined a massive giant walking over the top of them, snapping them in half with each heavy step.

Though my neighborhood didn’t lose power, many around us and across the area did. In fact, Austin is still trying to restore power to over 100,000 people. My kids’ school was canceled Tuesday – Friday. I’ve not been able to work because the power at the main office has been out since Wednesday. My mom and step-dad, who live 40 minutes north of us in a rural area have been without power for days. Power is expected to be restored sometime today.

A Message from the Birds

The day aftre the ice storm hit I saw a Great Horned Owl in a tree behind our house. This is unusual. I’ve never seen one in the 8+ years we’ve lived here. It was being harassed by two crows. They wouldn’t leave it alone. It was close enough that I got it on video. The argument lasted a good half hour and then the owl finally left.

Pictures below are screenshots from the video.

Owls = wisdom and foresight. Crows = transformation and change. I see the interaction between the owl and crows as an indication that something will bring me wisdom and foresight in life. With the insight gained changes may result. Considering what happened next, I think the owl and crows might have been a warning of what was to come.

When the morning of the 3rd came around I twice ignored my intuition and it cost me. Firstly, I told my husband to take down the zip line because I suspected a tree limb or tree would fall on it and hit the line which would then destroy the side of the house. He did nothing and I forgot about it. In the past, tree limbs have fallen and caused minor damage, and I had a gut feeling it would happen again. There is a massive tree in the creek area that always loses large limbs and I specifically had a vision of this happening again. Yet, once I told my husband, I forgot all about it. I’m not sure why.

At 2am, February 3rd, a loud boom woke everyone up. It sounded like a bomb went off. Turns out a tree limb fell on the zip line. It was huge and the force of it on the line busted the corner of the house in the master bedroom. The destruction was so bad that from inside of the house you could see outside via a crack along the corner. Siding and insulation was thrown all over the back yard.

I insisted my husband take down the zip line right then and there because another impact would surely take off the entire side of the house. He took it down. Half an hour later, another massive branch fell. Had the line been up, the wall would likely have not been able to handle it.

I had a thought after this happened that I should move our van. I didn’t because it appeared to be far enough away from a tree. Plus, it was sealed shut by over an inch of ice and it was 2am. Two hours later several branches fell on it, busting the side mirror and denting the top.

So in these examples my foresight was not utilized and negative events transpired. In the end, thankfully, the material cost has not been high. My husband has already fixed the house and the van is scheduled to be repaired on Friday. The only cost will be our deductible and the few supplies needed to fix the house.

Honestly, this small amount of excitement has been better than the boring, mundane drudgery that is the norm. I remember taking a walk the morning after all the destruction thinking it a blessing to have something interesting finally happen, something within our means to easily navigate. When it all happened I responded pretty well, too. A decade ago it would’ve been too much for me. I would’ve most likely been in tears. That I was able to return to sleep after all the destruction speaks for itself!

As I type this I can’t help but think of the image of the owl as it sat through the crow harassment. It was very passive for the most part, only jumping up a few times when the crows got to close but not in defense of itself, just to avoid their beaks. The owl is my main totem in this life. I’ve seen them since childhood and had close encounters as well. For example, when I was around 6 my dad hit one with his car and retrieved it from the ditch. I recall it coming to life, spreading its huge wings and being set free. It was magnificent! Just before Christmas, 2022, I purchased an owl incense holder, too. So, as recently as December, the owl has been making its presence known.

So, as far as the crow-owl event, I will take it as a message to remain the observer and only take action when the time is right. The crows indicate the right time will be obvious, probably annoying or maybe just a tad uncomfortable. And, from now on, LISTEN to my intuition when it warns me of something to come. Had I just followed through, this storm wouldn’t have caused us any problems whatsoever. But then perhaps I wanted/needed a little excitement? Hmmm. My husband and I did begin to laugh after the van was hit. What else could we do? It was better than the alternative. I think this is why we were both able to go back to sleep despite the ice chaos and continued thunderclaps of breaking branches going on all around us.

Praying for all those who were not so fortunate during this ice storm.

Here are some pictures of the damage to our house and car. I only have a picture of the inside of the house, sorry, and it was taken after my husband had already reattached the wall. Before you could see through to the outside at the corner. The outside was pretty bad. The side of the house was not connected at the roof and all the siding was gone.

****All pictures were taken by me between the dates of 2/2-2/4/2023. The featured image of the Cardinal in the iced branches is also mine. Please do not duplicate or use without my permission.****

December 13, 2022 by Dayna

Dream: Seeing Jesus

Slept better because I took a small amount of melatonin (2.5mg). I still woke at 5:30am but managed to return to sleep for a short while. Dreams were….odd.

Multiple Linked Dreams

This dream went on for a long time, shifting scenes in such a way as to seem to be many dreams linked together.

The first dream was in a field (expanded awareness). It was super green with rolling hills dotted with trees and a small road. I was “flying” along the road and remember very little as it was the first dream of the night. There was a background story going on but all I recall is that I was talking to others about the journey. I recall seeing a dirt road (journey in life) which was distinct amidst the bright green grass and hills. It was a beautiful place.

Several other dreams passed. Short and hard to recall because of their length. I recall a scene at my mom’s house where I realized suddenly that my youngest child was all grown up. I said to him, “Wow! You’re as tall as me!” Then I felt this sadness and a sense of aloneness that caused me grief. The scene faded out.

Next, I recall driving down a city road on the way to meet up with my best friend from high school. I came to a four-way stop and drove through it without incident. The town was small and not like any I have memory of visiting. The buildings were all gray and nondescript, similar to many rundown downtowns in small towns across Texas.

I remember thinking of my friend and another dream from long ago coming to mind. Then I shifted into a new scene at a school. When I walked in there were people walking about moving (preparation for the new) items. I quickly determined the staff was boxing up items to relocate to a new building. I was invited into a side room by a woman who was talking to me about my music background. I told her I had a 4-year degree and minored in music but never got my teaching certificate for it, so I was not qualified. My words were, “I would have to go back to school and take more classes and then get certified to teach it.” In my mind I was thinking of the entire process, which I had considered once upon a time and opted out of. It would be time consuming, specifically because one of the requirements is to be proficient in a musical instrument.

The woman walked with me into the room and asked me if I would do her the honor of taking some old instruments – hand drums. When presented to me I was shocked to find them in horrid condition. The leather was peeling off and yellowed. Some of the leather on smaller drums wasn’t even attached anymore. There was no way anyone would be playing the drums in the condition they were in. I commented on their poor condition and the woman seemed insulted and quickly defended them as if they were ancient artifacts for preservation. So, I took the drums from her being careful not to further damage them. I remember seeing their circular shape and considering repairing them.

The scene shifted again. This time I have little memory of the interactions. It felt like the woman from the previous dream might have been present. What I do recall is seeing a man who looked very much like Jesus from the beard to the eyes and the long robe. His face was serene and resembled the many paintings I’ve seen, specifically the one where his hands are open to receive. The instant I saw him I said, “I don’t believe in him like that.” That’s when I woke up.

Dream: Clogged Sink Leads to Basement

When I fell back to sleep I entered a new dream. I was in the bathroom preparing for the day but my facial cleanser (cleansing) was gone. I called to my daughter asking her where it was and found it in her overnight bag. I took out two large mitts (innovation, new ideas) and lathered the soap with them and then washed my face (inspecting beliefs and/or actions) with the soapy mitts. The drain clogged (repressed emotion) so I dried my face and pulled at a hair. The hair brought up all kinds of stuff, mostly gross drain gunk. Eventually, though, other items began to come up. First they were small and then they got larger and larger. Most were toys. I remember mostly baby dolls (unfulfilled dreams) in various conditions. There was also an enclosed package (untapped/unopened) with two batteries (power, energy) and some kind of device.

Eventually I noticed the entire sink top was pulled up and I could look down into the drainage area. Instead of a pipe it was huge opening. Looking down I saw piles of toys. Those closest to the top were covered in hair and slime but below were boxes and boxes of things. I peered down and saw more than just toys, it was full of supplies like a warehouse. I said, “There is a whole other floor down there!” I sought a way down and found it near the corner of the bathroom and began to go down, excited to explore. That’s when I woke up.

Symbolism

When I woke from the first series of dreams I wasn’t in a good mood. Mostly I was wondering why I would see Jesus and yelled at my guidance to stop fooling around because they know I don’t believe he is any better than any other religious icon. I figured he must symbolize the Christ Consciousness, though, and that is when I finally fell back to sleep.

The dream where I saw my son all grown up and experienced grief came with a sense that there will be a time in my life when I feel extremely alone. There was a sense of great contrast between now and that future time. I believe it links in with the drum symbolism in the last dream.

The music room dream is the most vivid. Drums can symbolize many things – repetition in life, connection with others, listening to guidance. The drums were in poor condition, no longer able to be used. Yet I was told to keep them safe and preserve them. Also, there was the school and how the staff was preparing for a move. This is the second time I’ve seen moving boxes. This time it is related to “school”. So, perhaps, a new lesson is coming? I suspect this new lesson is related to connection to others (drums) and I am being advised to preserve those connections, maybe even rebuild them.

Seeing Jesus often means peace and satisfaction in life. Since his hands were receptive then it appears to be a message to be open to received these things. I reject seeing him, however, which indicates I am not open to receiving what he has to offer me. Or better put, I don’t believe I am worthy.

The clogged drain dream seems to indicate there is a whole level of stuff still unknown to me down in my subconscious. The toys likely symbolize my childhood and the batteries, still unused, are likely symbolic of untapped energy.

October 30, 2022 by Dayna

Kundalini Dream: Navigating Dama

For the first time in a while I had meaningful dreams with messages and even some clarity.

The first dream of the night involved me talking to a man who was severely depressed and disinterested in life. I remember encouraging him to do something with the time he has here and being very upbeat and positive. I asked, “Isn’t there anything you want to do with the time you have left?” I don’t remember him replying to any of my questions. In fact, he seemed to not even know I was there.

I woke suddenly around midnight feeling very energetically weird. I thought it might be my heart but when I checked my pulse it was steady. The feeling was very much like what I sometimes get when I return from an OBE too abruptly. It is energetic and hard to describe. I was able to return to sleep easily at least.

Dream: Navigating Dama

I remember talking to a woman throughout this dream. I never saw her, though.

The space I occupied in the dream was dark. My best description would be that I was in a focusing area. The first thing I recall is communicating with my husband from this space. I could see him as if from a long distance (telepathy). He got very upset with me for interrupting him because he was working on a burial shroud for his brother. When I looked through his eyes I could see him creating the shoulders for it that resembled fabric wet with plaster. The response from my husband was harsh. Do not bother me now! This is similar to how he often reacts to me in waking life when I’ve interrupted him when he’s working. I remember hearing certain words at this time. One word repeated: Requiem (a mass for the dead or Latin for “rest”). I watched a while curious about what he was doing but also recovering from his backlash. It hurt to be treated that way.

Eventually I left him alone. I turned towards a holographic-looking computer/phone screen and began to type into it as I spoke with the woman I couldn’t see but could hear in my mind. I typed two words with an “and” in between but kept mistyping the last word. Thus, it is the last word I remember. The word was “Dama” but I kept thinking I was misspelling it and it needed an “e” on the end. In other words, “Dame”. The app I had open was Navigator.

The woman and I were talking about my husband’s reaction and what it represented. I felt a lingering sadness and disappointment because it was clear to me that he would never be what I needed. I need a partner who puts me first, who thinks of me as “his person”, or the one he confides in and goes to for all his deeper emotional and spiritual needs/support. My husband, on the other hand, places me alongside everyone else. I am just one of many, often put second, third or fourth behind his many obligations towards the others in his life. He confides in everyone, seeking advice, sharing often personal and highly emotional aspects of our relationship and, thus, inviting others (via their input and more) into our relationship. To me, a partnership/relationship/marriage is not something one shares openly with others. It is holy, sacred, divine and private.

I began to cry in the dream as we discussed my disappointment and grief. My husband and I have had many conversations about how I feel but he does not feel similarly. He doesn’t believe in placing any one person over another but feels all should be equal because he loves and admires everyone similarly. He does believe that a romantic partner shares the most intimate moments, but beyond that I feel like just another name on his long list of contacts.

As the discussion continued and I experienced the emotion of my grief, I began to feel a stirring in my root chakra that was beyond ignoring. The more we talked, the more intense the sensation. I have not felt such pleasure in a long time and then only via the Kundalini while in dream or altered (meditative) states.

At one point I was able to ignore the feeling but at another I said to the woman, “I can’t [ignore it anymore]” and focused upon it. The more I focused the more intense it got but it never moved beyond the root. Instead, it sizzled there, fiery and fierce, while we continued to talk. This was when I was typing “Dama” specifically, which only later did I discover was significant.

My emotion got very high to the point of tears when I said to her, “I don’t want to do this.” She said, “You have to.” “This” felt to be a process; moving through my current situation rather than ignoring it. The specifics of “moving through” were not presented but I felt major dread and despair at just the thought of what lies ahead. It felt like whatever is coming is scary and difficult.

Interpretation and Significance

I woke, my eyes still wet from crying, and the intense energy still lingering in my root chakra. It was/is odd to me that I would feel such ecstasy while discussing such an emotional topic, one that is the opposite of pleasant. My guide was still close and asked me to consider why because she knows I know the answer already. The root activation was the result of the movement of previously stuck energy. However, there was also a lesson in feeling the energy, a lesson in restraint.

Dama

One of the six virtues of a spiritual seeker. To have Dama means to have perfect alignment between your mind and your senses; self-restraint. In the dream I was typing “Dama” into the Navigator app – Navigating Dama.

In past instances of strong, lower chakra activation, I have had trouble not overly focusing on the sensations that arise because of how intensely pleasurable they are. In the dream I was successful for a time. I felt the pleasure but it remained in the background as I focused on the conversation I was having. However, it became difficult to ignore and I gave into it. The reminder in the dream was the word “Dama” being repeated.

Requiem

Song of death, death, to lay to rest. In this case, I am watching my husband construct a shroud for his brother. To me this symbolizes putting to rest my karmic connection with him – “my brother”. I recognize this in the dream and grieve. Though the full extent of this dream realization did not return with me as I woke, there remains a deep, unsettled feeling of “unfinished business” that I know must be tended to.

Root Chakra

The root chakra has to do with feeling grounded, safe, at home in your body, and connected to the Earth. One of the areas of the body that it is connected to is the spine. When not in balance or blocked one of the physical manifestations is sciatica along with feeling disconnected, depressed, negative and cynical. I have been experiencing all of the above. Thankfully, my sciatica is feeling better again with it only being a very minor problem that is more bothersome than anything.

February 11, 2022 by Dayna

Dream Message: Rebel, Rebel

Two nights in a row where I’ve been aware of Kundalini energy but not enough to make me lucid or wake me. The night before last I recalled it only after I awoke and then it was gone as soon as I remembered it. All I remember now is a flash of a man and a Knowing that he was working with me.

Last night I recalled a bit more.

Dream: Rebel, Rebel

There are flashes of memory to start. I am walking through a field when I’m stopped by someone. The minute he stops me the field turns into a large indoor space with other people inside. There are flashes of greenery around, like potted plants of the tropical kind. It feels warm and welcoming and there is a sense that the space is healing. I feel like I’m on vacation.

Then I recall seeing my friend. She has gifts, her arms filled with various crystals and spiritual items. Two of these items are presented to me separately, resting in the palm of one of her hands. They look like acorns; small, brown, round and wooden. On these wooden pieces I can see words. I read them aloud but only recall the latter word because the first is unfamiliar to me. I read, “Rebel”.

The scene shifts and I am with an older woman. She is complaining that her right shoulder hurts. I move closer, apologizing if I make her uncomfortable. She says I do not and closes her eyes as I place my hands on her shoulder and provide healing. The man from earlier walks up to me and asks, “What are you doing?” I told him that I can see what is wrong with her shoulder, the tissues surrounding the shoulder joint have been torn. I tell him I am giving her healing.

There is slight memory of the man asking me if he can help me. I stop healing the old woman and walk away with him. I understand that he wants to give me a massage. At first I hesitate because something about him feels “weird”, but he explains it won’t take long and there is a sense that I should listen and do what he asks.

The actual massage is lost to me now, I just know that it feels amazing! I think the man stops the massage but I’m not sure. He is then talking to me. I think he asks me about my experience. I told him, “I would like more. It feels wonderful!” There is slight memory of the feeling which is reminiscent of the Kundalini.

We talk more. I think there are others with us but can’t remember. I only recall that I am being told about something important. I remember repeating what I am told. I say, “Rebel. Rebel.” When I say this, I recall the two wooden objects my friend gave me earlier in the dream. I say, “I saw this before but there was this other word, too.” Of course, I don’t remember the word now.

The word, “Rebel”, woke me up and I lay feeling that it was a warning of something to come. Was I going to be rebellious?

Dream Interpretation

The field setting is symbolic of a healing location. The acorn is symbolic of the “seeds of change” and the word “rebel” is symbolic of that change. The old woman is likely a version of myself: The Crone. I am giving her healing, thus healing myself. The old woman’s shoulder could be symbolic of “shouldering too much”; carrying burdens that need to be laid down and relieved. The massage provided is healing on my energy body.

I do not know the significance of the the word “rebel” really, I can only speculate. Perhaps my rebellious nature is the seed for new growth and potential? When someone rebels, they are inciting change, usually for the better (depending on perspective). The change is a catalyst for growth.

I do have a tendency to try and ignore those things which bother or upset me. I do so for so long, though, that eventually the pressure within me builds and I explode. Sometimes I act spontaneously in ways that could be seen by others as rebellious and illogical. When the storm passes, I am left wondering, “WTF did I do?” But it is too late and I have to then manage the aftermath. Thankfully, in these instances in my life, these seemingly drastic moves lead to beneficial life change.

Dream: Chinese Movie Theater

The next dream is odd. The main memory I have of it is being led into a movie theater with others. It was in China and when we got inside the theater is crowded and most of the seats taken. The faces of the people in the theater are all Chinese. My group of seven chooses to sit on chairs in the isles for some reason. I remember it being explained that no matter where you sat in the theater you had 360° vision.

The “movie” we were watching is lost to me. Instead, a story plays out in my mind as if I am being explained something. What I remember is being on an airplane with Donald Trump, who is president again. He has people gathered around him listening to him and asking questions. He is talking about China.

The last thing I recall before waking is looking at the face of a Chinese man who is sitting in a seat in front of me. His head is between the seats peaking out at me and he is smiling. He says something about being able to see the front like the back and the back like the front, confirming he can see whatever he chooses. This wakes me.

I lay in bed thinking of the Trump scenario. The first thing that comes to mind is the border wall and the continued illegal migration problem. My mind wanders to scenarios that could play out. The nation divided by political party. The border being extended in south Texas into the Atlantic ocean. Increased border security authorized to shoot sandbags and teargas at migrants trying to storm the border. The US passing a law that prohibits illegal migrants from suing the US or its legal residents.

My mind shoots to the virus scare and its spread. I am reminded of an article I just read about 95% of Texas deaths from the virus being impacted by certain comorbidities with the top ones being: High blood pressure, Diabetes, and heart disease. I think of how 65% (maybe more) of the US population is overweight (BMI of 30+) and realize it is easy for a nation of unhealthy people to fear a virus and even easier for them to put the responsibility of their survival on the rest of the population rather than take responsibility themselves. Easier to take pills or vaccines. Easier to continue their unhealthy lifestyles and blame others when they get sick or unwell (or die). I become furious at how lazy people can be. Their lives depend on them changing their unhealthy habits yet they persist, preferring to take a pill or shot. All along, the pharmaceutical companies and those that support them are happy to provide their consumers with what they want – the “easy way out” – because it means more money in their deep pockets.

Is it a warning? Does it has anything to do with the previous dream message “rebel”? IDK. I have to put it out of my head to stay sane.

July 8, 2021 by Dayna

Running with Horses

The first time I ran with a horse, my sister-in-law and I took Chocolate (choco-latte) for a ride into town to get some groceries and a bite to eat. I was asked by my sister-in-law to ride another horse named Joy, but it was late and I was nervous about riding in the dark. I have not ridden one of the horses yet and the last thing I wanted to do is ride in the dark for that first ride.

On the ride in, Chocolate seemed to want me to be in the lead. So that is what I did and he perked up and displayed an eagerness to follow me. So, I decided to start running and my sister-in-law loosened up the reins and let him do as he pleased. He followed along at a trot and then ran faster to keep up with me. He preferred to run with his head right at the back of my head, nose at my ponytail, and my sister-in-law tried to move him to the right of me but he would continue to go back into that position. When I stopped he would stop. When I ran, he ran. He would sync his pace to mine every time.

We reached the grocery store and I was kind of fatigued and hungry, so my sister-in-law went the rest of the way while I stayed behind. She wanted to check on her garden keeper, Jose, who had a sick daughter. Chocolate wouldn’t go where she wanted at first. He circled around back behind me as if questioning, “Isn’t she coming?” I watched them leave and then ordered some food at a small restaurant where I watched people come and go. There was much more activity than I expected, but then it was a Saturday night.

When my sister-in-law returned she joined me for dinner and afterward we did our grocery shopping. Chocolate was tied up in a safe place but the entire time he kept his eyes on us and I could feel that he just wanted to be with us. If he could’ve, he would’ve stood right beside our table at the restaurant and probably would’ve tried to eat our dinner!

At one point, while Chocolate was standing with us, he beelined it for a man who was on the other side of the road. The man turned out to be from the US and had lived at a horse ranch for two years. He was very comfortable with Chocolate and seemed genuinely honored that Chocolate chose him to say “hello” to. The man was, however, carrying a package of vanilla sandwich cookies and he gave one to Chocolate who eagerly ate it up. We joked that it was the cookie Chocolate really was interested in. lol

On the trip home it was completely dark and started to rain. I had a small flashlight and took the lead. I would run and Chocolate would run behind me. Eventually, though, he began to run right beside me, his neck and shoulders lined up with me. At times he would get so close that when I turned toward him he would be only inches away but it made me laugh and feel more free to have him that close. He felt like a companion and it was clear we were synched up, both feeling the same joy and exhilaration of running.

During the homestretch I took off in a sprint and I could hear Chocolate do the same. I was laughing and screaming at the thrill of the feeling. I felt like a child playing a game of tag.

My sister-in-law was surprised at how comfortable I was with a horse as large as Chocolate that close to me while I was running. I never once felt fear or concern about how close he was. I just enjoyed myself and felt the freedom that I typically feel when I run. I think that might be why chocolate was so eager to run by my side. I was not mired down in thoughts, anxieties or worries, but living in the moment, which is exactly where horses are all the time.

Last night we tried it again with a different horse named Beloved. Same result but she was more serious as if she were “working” while Chocolate was more relaxed. Chocolate would be saying (if he could talk), “Yes! Let’s run!” and Beloved would be saying, “Must run. Must run.” lol

Update

Running with horses is just one piece of my healing journey, of course. There is a lot happening, though most of it is internal. With the freedom and space to be myself and feel myself, shit has been coming to the surface for release. It is intermittent, but frequent enough for me to recognize that I it will be a slow process.

I’ve tried to stay away from the internet and social media more and I believe it is best that I do because when I have, there have not been good feelings arising from the few interactions I’ve had. It feels like the Universe is saying, “Step away.” If I don’t, then something distasteful comes up.

For example, one day, while just lounging on a hammock listening to nature sounds and soaking up the space around me, someone left a comment on my FB page. I went ahead an answered but soon realized I should have just turned off my phone. The person was someone who frequently engages in conversation with me so I didn’t feel any dis-ease about it but it was apparent that my responses were not what was expected or wanted. There was a blow up on her end where I was accuse of not being open to new things/suggestions and using my blog and FB only to get attention. While I wasn’t triggered by the interaction I was saddened by it.

To be honest, I am not being very open to new things and new people right now – purposefully. I am very selective and cautious, seeking only those interactions that call to me. What I feel directed to do is Be with myself, nurture myself, and give myself the space to process the crap I have not felt safe enough to process. My favorite things to do right now is be in nature and interact with all the creatures in it from butterflies to monkeys, horses, plants, water and everything in between.

I specifically don’t want to be around people very much. Sure, I do interact with others, but rarely and very selectively. For example, I had a wonderful Lomi Lomi massage on Monday by a woman who came to my location. She integrated energy work into her massage, which was wonderful. Similarly, while having dinner with my SIL a couple of nights ago, I met a woman from L.A. who was in the process of relocating here and listened to her experiences and stories finding many similarities to my own. She had been to Mt. Shasta like me and it helped me recognize the very different energies of vortex locations and their purposes and affect on me. Mt. Shasta is elevating, Cabuya is purging. The energy here is very specific – it says “you are safe” and “allow yourself to feel, BE and release”. This, apparently is the experience of many others who visit, also.

This morning I awoke from a dream in which I was once again in a school as a teacher. I won’t go into details of the dream, but when I awoke my guidance and I discussed where I’m at presently in my life. I was also asked to “see” my future, which I can do but honestly don’t want to because I’ve been let down so much by doing that. I struggle to keep expectation out of what I see. I recognized that I will, at some point, want to be around people again, that I will be more available to others in a giving/healing capacity like I once was so many years ago (another lifetime it seems). Where I’m at now is not that at all. It is the complete opposite.

Eventually, when asked to contemplate where I am heading, I was asked if I could see or imagine the person I will one day become. I can’t and the thought of being that way makes me want to hide and curl up in a ball.

Ultimately, my response was, “I’m not ready”, and a part of a song came to mind and began to repeat:

I just want the bad feelings to end
But there’s some shit I can’t forget
I don’t think I’m ready yet
Hit me up another time
Maybe one day I’ll change my mind

This is the whole song if you’re interested:

This morning when I opened the front door, a massive butterfly the size of my hand flew past me. Something about seeing it reminded me of the conversation with my guide and the song above. I started to cry as I swept the floor and prepared for my day. The realization that I’m not ready caused the tears. I want to be ready. I’m so tired, though, and it is obvious I need a lot of rest and self-care.

A Typical Day

I wake around 5:30am and linger in bed for a while before waking to make my coffee and lounge around a bit more. I am working remotely, so I usually log in and check emails, etc. Some days I put this off and other days I get right to business. Usually while working I open the front door and sweep away the previous night’s insect party remains (lol).

Sometimes I lay in the hammock, other times I follow that morning’s nature sound to figure out what it is. Usually this curiosity leads me to something fascinating. For example, two days in a row I heard strange sounds, followed them and found a troop of capuchin monkeys. The second day I did this, I arrived just in time to see two fall mid-flight to the ground and not get up. I stood watch for a while and marveled at how the troop remained close by to make sure their fallen comrades were not alone. The two eventually woke up, dazed and stumbling around, to join the troop.

Then I go out to help feed and tend to the six horses. I spend time with them, give them water and showers with the hose and clean out their water trough. Often I go and pick mangoes to give them as a treat. Afterward, I make breakfast for my SIL and myself and we usually talk and decide what may happen that day.

The rest of the day I do whatever I feel like doing. Yesterday I went for a swim with the horses (SIL came, too) in the sea and then went for a horse run to the local grocery store. Many days, though, I don’t do much besides work and lay around. In the evening I usually lay in the hammock or talk with my SIL. I have taken a trip to the closest town a couple of times. I caught the bus with my SIL and then got on another one into the bigger town called Cobano where we buy larger items and have access to more stores, etc. This is where I will go to get my Covid test before I finally leave on the 18th.

By evening I am usually already getting tired by 6-7pm. The sun is setting anyway and my eyes and body feel heavy to the point that I can’t often fight the tiredness. Some nights the night creatures startle me. For examples, I keep having visits by land crabs. One was even trapped in my kitchen sink! I also see lots of large toads on my porch. I like to watch them stuff themselves on the buffet of fresh bugs my light attracts. The geckos are also interesting but I dislike them because they leave poop gifts all over, sometimes in my coffee cup! Yuck! I have to keep a fan on high in my room to stay cool and keep any flying bugs away. The mosquitoes can get really bad at night. Some mornings I wake up to random mystery bites on my body that itch and I wonder what critter crawled in bed with me. Thankfully, I sleep so good I don’t notice the bugs if they are on me.

Lately I’ve been missing some modern conveniences like a/c and hot showers. I even looked for a resort to spend my last week at but have not felt motivated to follow through. You can get a room at a resort for $700/week or less! Some come with great perks like breakfast and dinner included and/or a free Covid test. Ha! I get tired of some of the drawbacks of the simple life like septic systems that can’t handle TP (you put it in the trash and it tends to stink) and sauna like conditions that only go away in the late evening hours. I am sweating most of the time and it can make me feel dirty and gross. I also wish I had a car. I can go most places on foot but the best ones are too far to walk to. It would be nice to have some better food options and to not have to put everything in the fridge because of ants eating through the packages and feasting on unopened food! Thankfully ants don’t seem to like coffee. lol

Messages

Here are a some pictures of the critters I’ve seen repetitively and the messages they bring. All of the messages are true for me right now.

April 27, 2021 by Dayna

Re-Calibration and Dream

Woke up this morning realizing that I am probably done with the spiritual work of my past. Meaning, I’m most likely never going to do readings or mediumship or medical intuition or any of those things to the extent that I did before I got married. Other, younger individuals, are taking up those reigns. They are the ones receiving the communication and having the expansive experiences now. It kinda made me sad to think of it but then I know this is part of the cycle.

There is a super moon right now and I had hoped for some experiences in my sleep. Kundalini would’ve been nice. A trip OOB like I use to have, visiting ETs, other worlds and living/breathing space ships would have been good, too. Nope. I just had a dream where I was outside, climbing in a tree telling my husband I am going to quit school and watching cars drive at night without headlights. WTF? lol

I know my guidance advised me not to look too much into my dreams, but here it is anyway:

Dream: Quitting School

I find myself suddenly standing outside the elementary school I attended in 5th grade. I am at the back of a line of young students, about five to ten feet from the group. A teacher is asking them to be quiet and fix the line. She is making threats like, “We will stand here until you can listen, even if it takes all day” and “Everyone get five others to follow directions”. The kids are trying to stand in a straight line but they are struggling. Some want to wander, others are just not understanding what “straight” means, and still aren’t listening because they are talking to their friends or just distracted by the world around them.

As I watch, I recall being the student and the teacher and going through this routine. I wonder, “Why is it so important that the line be straight and the kids don’t talk?” I think how the new generations will challenge those who attempt to get them to do things that make no actual sense and serve no other purpose than to force them into submission.

As I am standing in line, I am able to see and experience the scene from all perspectives. I have 360 degree vision. As a result, I turn and face myself, zooming in on my body standing there observing. I realize I am wearing my night shirt and long pants. I return to my own perspective feeling a bit confused and worried that I am not properly dressed. I think I should ask the teacher, “Do you have a school shirt I could wear?” But I don’t ask. Instead, it feels like an outside force pulls me back out to take another look at myself. My visual field is focused as if looking through a telescopic lens. It zooms in on the front of my t-shirt where a large rose is centered over my chest. I am reminded of a similar occurrence the night before where this rose was illuminated. I feel/Know it is a message.

The scene shifts. I am in a void but recall talking to my husband or someone who feels like him. I recognize that I am attending school a second time around and, as is a common theme in my dreams, I protest this because I have already graduated. I think (or maybe it is suggested) perhaps I could learn something new by retaking all my classes? I recognize this is possible because I always find more info on second, third and even forth reviews of subject material. The possibilities are infinite.

Then I find myself in front of my house. It is early morning and still dark. I hear and then see my husband across the street. He has our dog, Monty, and is crossing the street to get a ball. Our neighbor is a bit down the road and out of sight walking her own dog. The ball is hers. I yell to my husband to be careful of cars and to not draw her dog out into the street.

This is when I realize I am up in a tree. It is a small tree with thin branches standing no more than eight feet high. I am observing the scene from the tree and realize the conversation about school is on-going as the scene unfolds. I tell my husband (or someone who feels to be with me), “I’ve decided to quit school. There is no point in redoing all the coursework when I’ve already graduated. I can just stop attending, so I’m done.” When I say this I feel freed of the conditions I’ve found myself in. I realize it is my choice and no one can force me to go to school. I briefly imagine the scene at the beginning of the dream where the children are in line. I imagine myself saying to the kids, “You don’t have to stand in line. Come with me this way!” and then inviting them to follow me off to explore and be free.

I climb down the tree as I say this and watch as a car drives down the road toward my husband. It’s headlights are off so it is nearly impossible to see the car. I yell a warning and see another car coming from the opposite direction. Again, it’s headlights are off. I walk toward the edge of our yard. My neighbor is walking to her house with her dog. I say, “Why don’t they have their headlights on? It is still dark.” She says something like, “Yeah, I know!”

My lucidity peaks at this point and I wake up.

Considerations

Upon waking I was feeling very disappointed and depressed. The realizations I wrote at the beginning of this post came to me. It feels like it is all over – like my work is done. I don’t see the point of continuing in this life and body as I cannot see or even feel what path I would take.

As I was thinking this, I felt a pull toward my guidance and felt all at once to be receiving large quantities of information but there were no words. Whatever I was told, though, caused me to calm down and surrender. I felt relieved, but I don’t know why. Then I heard the word “timing” and “patience”. I responded that I am tired of waiting. It seems like that is all I ever do.

Interpretation

When I’ve dreamed of quitting school in the past, I always thought it meant that I am asking to leave this life and return Home. Since I’ve had this dream so many times in the past, I Googled the symbolism again in case I am missing something. The dream meaning of quitting school is this:

If you dream of leaving school, then this indicates there is going to be an improvement in your living conditions or home life going forward. Our attitude to our work ethic and life in general is formed whilst at school, which, in most cases sets out rules and various moral values which help us move forward in life.

I didn’t actually leave school in my dream, so it is an indicator that I am approaching a crossroads situation. My guidance told me I am being “calibrated”. I’ve been told this in the past. It means I am being prepared for something to come. The suggestion about learning through repeating school is that there is always something new to learn.

The part of the dream where I am watching the children in line feels to me to represent my time “on the roof”. In HD this is the period in which the 6th line observes. What I see is that society is stuck in the old ways. The souls arriving now will not conform to the old “rules” and expectations. I see that change is a requirement. The fact that I imagine “freeing” the children and allowing them to explore and uniquely express themselves is a positive sign. I have recognize what is needed and am willing to assist. As a 6th line, the whole end result is to step into being a Role Model. Perhaps my role has to do with children – or at least the younger generations who are going through their own awakenings at this time?

The focus on the rose on my chest is interesting. My first thought is this is asking me to listen to my HS (G center), which in HD is my authority.

The rose is a symbol of the entirety, the higher spiritual world order. When you dream about a rose this usually represents love in some fashion but it can also represent fertility, admiration, rebirth and fidelity. The color of the rose also has a special meaning in your dreams. Red roses are most often for love and romance…..pink roses indicate unexpected help.

The rose on my shirt is mostly pink with yellow and orange. A rose in full bloom symbolizes rebirth.

Climbing or being in a tree indicates that I have reached a period in my life where I am experiencing the “height” of my career or success. It does coincide with my family’s affluence at this time so that makes sense to me.

The headlights being off on the cars as I watch from a distance are yet another indicator that I am able to perceive what others cannot or will not. The symbolism of no headlights is that an objective view will be reached but it will come with limitations (can’t see far ahead). In the dream there is just enough light to see the cars and surroundings but the low light prohibits clarity.

Tired

I’ve been more tired than usual. I sleep deeply and struggle to wake up. Opening my eyes is a chore. It feels like a heavy weight is pulling them closed. Once I get up, though, I am fine until the evening. Then, the heavy feeling returns and I often end up in bed before 10pm because I just can’t keep my eyes open.

I’ve been taking it easy when it comes to exercise. I am usually very active with at least 2+ hours of physical activity of some kind five days a week. With my recent illness (cold/allergies) and fatigue, I decided to take some time off. Today, however, I felt like exercising so I went for a mile run followed by a bodyweight circuit. Ugh! Well, my body said “Hell no”. lol I still completed everything but not without needing more rest than usual.

Sometimes listening to my body is a loss for me. I am use to powering through tiredness and lack of motivation and coming out feeling wonderful in the end (endorphins). But lately I just want to take it easy, go for walks or do yoga. It likely goes along with the “calibration” my guides mentioned. There is definitely something going on. I can feel it, especially at night and when I wake in the mornings. So I am going to do my best to listen.

Something that crossed my mind this morning was that I should probably shift back toward eating less meat and more veggies – so vegetarian/pescatarian. When I wonder why this is, it feels like meat contributes to a sluggishness in my energy. It does take longer to digest meat and the energy signature of most meats has never agreed with me. Whether I will do this long-term or not is yet to be decided. I think I will just start with trying to eat less meat and go from there. I think combining this change in diet with less strenuous exercise may be just what I need.

What is Spiritual Calibration?

I finished writing this post and then a thought came to me: What if readers aren’t sure what I mean when I say “calibration”? I thought, “Sure they know. It means I am being prepared to take in more Light.” But the feeling I got back was, “Are you sure?” So, since I’m not sure, I will provide a reference for you since I cannot post any part of it here (copyright reasons) – Spiritual Calibration. Go to paragraph 13 if you want to get straight to the info.

Basically, the channeled information says that spiritual calibration is a preparation of our Earth energy body to accept energy from “higher” sources. Higher in this instance really means of a “higher vibration”, not necessarily indicating direction.

So what exactly is happening to us/our energy bodies/physical bodies during calibration/re-calibration? The specifics are not given to me but I know very well how it feels to experience it. All of the above physical symptoms are usual for me. What I understand is happening is that my energy body is getting an upgrade. A new version of my energy body is being brought online. This version will be better able to receive and process the incoming energy so that I won’t suffer any physical or mental side-effects. The fact that I am experiencing the deep sleep, fatigue and slowing down in itself indicates my system is “offline” right now. It won’t be this way for long, just long enough to complete the calibration process.

About 90% if those who previously received upgrades are getting another one right now. So if you’re feeling like me, just listen to your body, take it easy and enjoy some rest. If you don’t, you could end with worse symptoms. Panic attacks are my “you’re doing too much” sign. <— NOT fun!

January 22, 2021 by Dayna

Happy Rave New Year!

SOLAR TRANSIT Gate 41 – Gate of Contraction, Decrease Jan 21 thru 26

AND SUDDENLY YOU JUST KNOW … IT’S TIME TO START SOMETHING NEW AND TRUST IN THE MAGIC OF NEW BEGINNINGS. ~ Tolle

The cosmic energy now brings us to the beginning of the Human Experiential way with fuel and a pressure to satisfy your desires and fulfill your destiny.

Imagine if your wildest fantasies and daydreams were running through your mind at the same time. It would be difficult to focus and take them all on. However, if you focus your energy on just one … the possibility of initiating that experience becomes viable. Contraction holds the potential for all human experiences, but releases or initiates only one at a time.

So, consider taking one step and then the next.

In your DNA this gate represents the genetic initiating codon, the capital letter at the beginning of any genetic sentence … the start of a new cycle of human experience.

This frequency could be compared to how life looks as it disappears in the observable world during winter and yet new life is gestating in the unseen world below.

If you’re feeling restless, you may find balance by writing or daydreaming about what it might be like to fulfill your wildest desires, or by vicariously experiencing them through literature and movies. Could it be a time to let go of something to discover what is truly yours? When you understand cycles, you know that Increase automatically follows Decrease. So, while this energy is prominent you can fortify your foundation or examine what’s working for you and what is not. Whatever you release during this period of Decrease will pave the way for something else. Nature shows us that Decrease isn’t a negative event. It’s simply how life continues its forward movement even while appearing to move backward.

The Earth’s grounding force is the voice of influence – for good or for bad. Benevolence may allow you to let go and discover what is rightfully yours. You may need to give up something you feel is important as a commitment to conscientious growth with another. Is it time to remove the superfluous to make room for something new?

Happy Rave New Year!

Love Yourself,

Ruth Brennan

I’m beginning this post with a quote because it contains within it so much of what I’ve been experiencing.

The Rave New Year (Human Design) started on January 20th. I began to feel something….new….a few days before. It started as a feeling I can’t quite describe. Like an energy hovering around me, putting pressure on me from without but also…within? Then, on the 20th, I awoke with such certainty and what is even more surprising, motivation! OMG I haven’t felt motivated in so long.

Oh, and no, it is in no way connected to the inauguration. Which, BTW, I didn’t watch. But now, days later, I wish I had, if only to see Bernie wearing that coat and mittens. LOL

Ever since the 20th I’ve continued to feel motivated. It is such a welcomed feeling, too! So refreshing after so long – a year? more? Suddenly, I have so much opportunity, so much I can do and seemingly little time.

It is also not lost on me that we are entering (in?) the sign of Aquarius. My rising sign and a time when I typically have some significant spiritual experiences, though not always. I never know what will happen but I have been forewarned. My guides have given me the month of March several times now as an end-period, a time of conclusions and so also beginnings. February on into March is to be looked forward to, if only to release me from the nasty grip of my Uranus Opposition (or as they call it, mid-life crisis).

Some things that hit me with the energy shift on the 20th (ideas, thoughts, excitements):

Quit my job. Ha! I know, crazy! Why? Because….IDK really, but mainly I don’t need it anymore and want to put my attention on something else. Free up time to do things just for me. My job is boring. Easy, yes. Boring and monotonous mostly. I have saved half my earnings from last year and if I stay I will save all of them.

For most of my life, when people asked me what I wanted to do in life (career, goals), I responded with: “I don’t want to have to work”. Spoken like a true Projector! lol And here I am. I don’t have to work. Success! But….the extra money is nice to have, the work-from-home is nice, the working for my husband is nice, the simplicity of it is nice… and so and so forth. So, I have not resigned yet. I am mulling over my options.

I really think I want to focus on bodybuilding full-time for a while. I know, weird, but if you know me, it really isn’t. I have made huge strides in the last 14 weeks and finally have my metabolism back where it was in 2014 when I stopped lifting because I had a newborn. I am really proud of myself – Inches lost, energy levels up, generally feeling healthier and happier. So, I am thinking I may compete, do a show, just to say I did.

Another idea – Go on a Walkabout. Yep. This is one of those things I want to do just for me. It came to me after asking the Universe to help me figure out what I needed to do. I knew I needed to do something for me, but what? Costa Rica still feels wrong. So what? Then I saw it and had one of those “time stands still” moments as I was watching my TV show. The main character was urged to go on a Walkabout because he was confused and uncertain about things. That was it.

At first I thought, “Six months!” lol Now I am thinking, “however long it takes” and am letting the Universe show me the route. Thus far, I have felt pulled West. I have a friend who lives in Sedona and a brother in Tucson. So, my final destination will be Arizona but I want to see as many ancient sites along the way as I can. Choco Canyon has always been one of those places, but there are plenty of others. The cave dwellings and White Sands are two others. When I will go is yet unknown but I’m sure it will come to me soon enough. Oh, and I don’t have to quit my job to do it. I can take a leave of absence if I want. Another employee goes on a yearly “walkabout” for several months, so why can’t I?

Smaller things are coming to me all the time, so much that I keep losing track and when I finally sit down to write about them I go completely blank. I recognize that this is because I am not necessarily meant to take action now but when I get the go-ahead from the Universe. I will be shown the way. Most likely, I will be invited to take certain paths.

With all the energy and increase in motivation, my sleep has been suffering. I’m just not tired and when I do fall asleep I wake up about an hour or two later wide awake again. This goes on all night. Oh well, sleep was nice when I had it but at least now I have motivation. Did I say how wonderful it is to feel motivated again? 😉

Ladybug and Hawk Magic

Twice this week I’ve had encounters with a ladybug. It seems to be inhabiting our bathroom. The first time I saw it, I thought it was dying and worried about it. Three days later I found it again but this time it was quite lively. I think it is living off my little, potted bamboo plant, hiding out in our house to avoid the winter chill. I took several videos and close-up shots of him/her. So beautiful!

“Ladybugs appearing in your life precede a time when your goals begin manifesting in remarkable ways. Bits of good fortune trickle around like petals on warm winds. Stop and enjoy this moment. Don’t rush too quickly into anything, but instead let nature unfold like Ladybugs wings.

There is no need to worry or fret – live and honor your sacred truths.

A Ladybug Spirit animal may also arrive at the advent of a new relationship, or the renewal of one that had grown a tad stale. Ladybug whispers words of love in your partner’s ears. Remember that sweet voice and translate it into pillow talk as the relationship sparks.

Alternatively, Ladybug may be telling you that love is just around the corner. If you see Her, count her spots to know the days, weeks or months before it arrives. Keep an open mind!” Source

On the 20th I saw a hawk flying with a branch in its mouth. It landed on top of a nearby tree where a large nest was taking form. I watched from below the tree as the hawk flew away and its mate landed on the nest and placed another twig.

I have never seen a pair of hawks like this. What a wonder! I tried to get a photo but it seemed like they were both a bit shy.

Hawks are about possibilities and seeing things from a new perspective. They remind us to be aware of the “bigger picture”. They are messengers to trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should be. A pair of them could indicate that this message is about two people, likely partners. Or it could just be a double reminder. Whatever the message, it added a sense of wonder to my day.

One More Quote

This one is about Self-Projected Projectors (me!). I am especially proud of my Self-Projectedness:

At the very Top of Hierarchy sits the Self-Projected Projector. Pulling Others up, the Hummingbird catches the Fractal and holds Everything together. Just like a Black Hole in the Center of a Galaxy, that intense Pull towards the Middle is what makes the Self-Projected Projector so strong. The strongest Magnet lies within the Self Projected Projector Who operates from the Chest, the Magnetic Monopole, the Place of Self. “The Future is about Self-Projectedness”.

The Future is not about the Tribe. SPP’s don’t have Tribal Definition.

The most conditioned and compromised by the Environment, the Self-Projected Projectors when operating correctly have the most luminous Power of All. This means Aloneness First. Middle.

The Amplification of the SPP’s Aura in the Right Environment, this is what brings great Influence to the Entire Fractal Included. It is able to unlock many places at the same time, have impact that does not require Repetition. It Triggers deep. Imagine the Quasar with the Black Hole in the Middle. This is how it can be visualized. The Aura of a Self Projected Projector differs when making the Amplification of Energies. Yet it stabs directly in the G of the Other when invited, just as by any Other Projector.

The One that comes the Last, the Alpha of the Fractal, most likely will be a SPP.

“At the Beginning there was a Word. The Word was of God. The Word was God”. Self Projected Projectors Create incredible things from the Place of Self-Expression, the Voice and Self-Love. This Kind of Leader magnetizes everything towards the Self, insisting on the Karmic Entanglement and Resolution of all that stands in the way of it. ~ Theos Doros

Happy Rave New Year!

January 18, 2021 by Dayna

Kundalini Dream: Have Dinner with Me

The vivid dreams continue……

Dream: Have Dinner with Me

The dream began outside in a stadium(firmness of purpose to finish what was started and achieve goals). I was walking along bleachers and saw this very small man. I went up to him and commented on his appearance, taking his hand into my own and saying, “You hands are proportional to your body.” He said, “I’m a dwarf (stunted growth, holding back emotion). I look young but I am 32.” I smiled and responded with, “Really? Wow. I’m 36.” My memory of the little man is vivid. He looked just like a miniature man. He had tanned skin, muscles and a few wrinkles. His face was etched with fine lines and he had fair hair. He was like a realistic doll, maybe about three feet tall.

There was a man with him who spoke to me at that time. Somehow he and I ended up in a different scene. The bleachers disappeared and we were walking into an event hall (likely indicative of “Kundalini events”, of which I’ve had many). The room was decorated in dark colors and we were dressed in formal attire. I remember saying to the man, “I come here all the time”. It felt like he and I met at this event hall, as if I had gone to these events many times but this was the first time he had attended.

The next thing I know I am in my mom’s bedroom (private self). The man is with me and we are laying on the bed together (my happy, relaxed place). Across from us is a walk-in closet (space to store or keep things hidden). Though I can’t recall what exactly was said, I remember talking to the man and him being very forward with me. What his energy said is more memorable to me than his words anyway. An amazingly erotic energy was coming from him and sparking in me a desire that was hard to ignore. I remember laughing quite a bit. I felt playful around him and began to try and get away from him. It felt like a game of tag almost with me moving away from him and him grabbing me and pulling me back to him. Each time his energy would envelope me and I would feel overcome with desire and longing.

Still laughing, I crawled into the walk-in closet (“closeting” myself or my emotions). The light was on and my face was at the level of the shoe rack. The man was behind me. I continued to laugh playfully as I inched my way into the closet, moving shoes (various approaches to life) out of my way. I grabbed a pair of dress boots (strength, victory) and put them on top of other shoes on the rack to my left (the feminine). I commented, “I have way too many shoes!” I could feel the man’s energy as he inched his way closer, still hovering over me. He grabbed onto my waistband and I laughed playfully as I stared at rows of shoes in the golden hued closet. The energy intensified and I began to lose my breath.

Suddenly the man stood up in the doorway of the closet. I turned around and looked at him. I don’t remember what he looked like, though, which is unfortunate. He said, “Have dinner with me.” I laughed and said, “Why don’t we just have sex and get it over with.”

Dream: Hidden Apartment

I was in an apartment (emotional state) hallway (transition period). I was tending to the children who suddenly burst out a hallway exit and onto the streets. I went out to gather them up and complained to my husband for not keeping a better eye on them.

When I came back inside I walked down the hallway. At the end was a door (barrier to growth, closed off). To the right was another door, a closet. An older man with a beer gut opened a door on the left and took me into the door at the end of the hallway. Inside was a very neglected space with an old sofa, a window and a dresser. I remember being surprised it was there and that it was only one very tiny room. I walked back out into the hall and turned back to look through the still open door. The man’s friends were inside the room and for a moment it reminded me of a scene from The Godfather. The air in the room was hazy with clouds of smoke. I could see a group of men sitting on the yellow plaid sofa inside. They were smoking and drinking. One looked at me. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

Still in the hallway, I looked where the closet on my right had been. Instead of a door I saw a shelf with various first aid supplies on it.

The scene shifted and I was looking again at the room at the end of the hallway. I felt like a child and there were other children with me. Curious about the room, we went inside to explore. Again the room was in disarray but this time there was a door in the back. The old man who had previously shown me the room was there but he was grossly overweight. He was wearing white underwear with a white undershirt. The room was very dirty, like it hadn’t been cleaned in years. Items were strewn all over. The floors, furniture and walls had splatter marks all over them.

One child with me needed to use the bathroom so I ventured through the door at the back of the room hoping to find a bathroom. There was a bathroom but it was nasty. Two toilets were on the back wall on either side of a sink. There was also a urinal. Everything with a drain was clogged, stuffed with toilet paper and filled to the rim with nasty water. I told the child, who looked like my youngest, to use the sink to pee because it was the least clogged and the toilets were unusable. When he peed in the sink it also overflowed and I had to pull my son away from the nasty water.

The obese man then showed me another room even farther back. It was a bedroom that had been closed off for quite some time. It was not as nasty as the other parts of the apartment. I did not go in but could see a bed with white linens inside.

Considerations

The first dream appears to be an invitation to continue with my clearing work via the Kundalini. As has been my tendency for the past year or so, I avoided the opportunity, choosing to instead “hide in a closet”. I knew immediately the closet was about closeting my emotion. I am trying to hide from something. What? I’m not sure but it likely involves high emotion.

The shoes in the dream are all on the left side of the closet. The left represents the feminine. The shoes represent all the past roles I’ve played. The boots indicate success in regards to the feminine aspect.

The dwarf in the dream seems significant. I believe he is there to bring attention to my masculine aspect which is stunted and not able to grow into his full potential.

The second dream may be a sneak peak at what is holding me back. The hidden apartment indicates a part of myself that has been neglected. This wound is full of negative emotion that has become stuck and is clogging up my energy body. It may be a partial memory of aspects of a past life or lives, lives where the masculine is seen in a negative light. The connection to The Godfather could be indicative I view some part of my past as “bad” or “corrupt”. The morbidly obese man could represent the masculine energy; gluttony, over indulgence, lack of self-care.

While the second dream may be pointing to my past lives, it could also just be there to remind me of the many negative beliefs I have about men from this lifetime. From this life experience I have become wary of men in general. I do not trust them. Their number one motivation is sex. They attend to their own needs first. They generally view females as a their servants. We are there to cook their meals, tend to their children, clean their house, wash their clothes, and provide them with sex on demand. So, to put it simply, men are scum.

Yeah, sad, but I can’t help how I feel. The older I get, the more convinced I am that my observations are accurate. Find me one man whose primary motivation is not sex. Just one. And I bet if I do find one he long ago lost the ability to get an erection.

So it’s no wonder that my response in my dream to the man’s invitation to dinner was what it was. Let’s just have sex and get it over with. In the end, isn’t that why he invited me to dinner in the first place? Why tiptoe around the obvious?

Featured image source – http://www.istockphoto.com

January 4, 2021 by Dayna

Vision: Tidal Wave

Woke this morning and had a vision as I was considering my life at present. I saw a tidal wave coming up over my head. It never hit because I came out of my reverie.

I instantly began thinking of the omens I have seen on my walks since we returned home from Montana. The first was a dead rabbit. Yesterday I found a dead dove in the middle of the field as if it just decided to lay down and take a nap.

Tidal wave symbolism – appears when one is under a great deal of pressure or is going through significant life change. The water aspect is all about emotion and in the form of a tidal wave it is a surge of emotion where one feels overwhelmed or unable to cope with what is happening in their life. Usually these changes have to do with procrastination or avoidance of one’s true feelings about something.

Dead dove symbolism – to see a dead dove means an ending to a significant relationship. Because doves mate for life, when one dies the other often sits by the body of their loved one to their own detriment, meaning they will often die, too. So, to see a dead dove indicates a major loss that brings with it great change. It represents the cycle of death and rebirth.

Dead rabbit symbolism – I already touched briefly on this symbol but I will repeat it. A dead rabbit is indicative of loss, usually the loss of a family, family member or loved one who is like family.

Altogether these omens and visions seem to point to a great change. At first I worried it meant the death of a family member, and I suppose it could mean that, but eventually I just let it be. I know from previous sightings of dead doves that this omen indicates an end to a relationship, at least for me. In the past I was forced to let go of someone, so it was a symbolic death. I can’t recall ever seeing a dead rabbit before. As for tidal waves, I’ve had visions of them before but cannot recall a specific incident related to those visions.

From experience I know that trying to prepare myself by going through every possible scenario never works. I have to just wait and see.

Dream Theme: Ants

I’ve also had two dreams recently about ants. The first was on New Years Eve:

Dream: Burning Ant Bed

I was talking to someone about my credits in History and considering just taking 5 more classes to get my Master’s in the subject. I remember talking about how easy writing papers was and how the subject came naturally to me. I recall seeing my daughter’s name spelled two ways in a paper I was reading and pointing it out to her but her being grumpy about it.

Then I was walking through campus and noticed large, modern houses were built pretty much everywhere. A three story white, modern home was in a very odd place, like right on the corner of the sidewalk. I walked a bit talking to someone about the campus when I saw a ant bed near the sidewalk. I decided to set it on fire to kill the ants when a small, black and white puppy came over and stood in the center of the burning ant bed. I watched it, shocked but somewhat curious as to what it was doing. Eventually, noticing its paws were raw and bleeding, I plucked it out of the burning bed and inspected it. It seemed okay but it would need bandages.

I went to the house I had gone past and saw my FB friend Betty. I showed her the puppy and she was like, “Oh dear, the nuns won’t like this.” Then a nun wearing all white came by and Betty gave her the puppy to treat. I walked away, worried I would be asked lots of questions. I felt guilty for letting the poor pup burn and for setting the fire. I walked past Betty’s husband and told him my worries and then woke up.

Interpretation: History class symbolizes a life lesson that I am discussing. Perhaps the lesson relates to my own karma? I seem to feel fine about completing a degree in it, confident that I can do it. When I woke my first thought about it was that I am starting to feel better about my ability to complete karmic contracts in this lifetime. Since my daughter’s name comes up, it could be that I am considering my children and my karma with them and their father. My guess is the 5 classes could be a time period of 5 years or maybe just 5 more incidents or milestones that must be reached.

Ants in general symbolize hard work. A whole colony of ants is likely accomplishments made with one’s group or team. An ant colony can symbolize startling changes that are occurring in my life. Because I am burning the colony it could mean that I am attempting to destroy or end relationships. The puppy might represent someone in my life who is young and growing who I want to protect. I see the puppy being burned. Eventually I save it but feel guilty because I didn’t save it sooner and so it is wounded. I’m not sure what the nun means but it could be that I give up control to a higher power.

Dream: Drowning Ants

In the second dream I was outside watching a family playing with a water hose in their backyard. The dad was spraying the kids and they were enjoying getting wet. Then I walked over to the edge of the yard where I saw an ant bed. It had been drenched with water. I took a stick and began to push into the ant bed, tearing it apart to look inside. The ants were waterlogged and desperately clung to my stick. I saw them and marveled at them just like I did as a child.

Interpretation: Ants are about teamwork, hard work, creating something through cooperation. Ant beds must be about community or family or the Collective. Water doesn’t typically kill ants, it just slows them down. Water is symbolic of emotion usually. I am using a stick to look at the ants like I did as a child. It is as if I am observing how “emotion” effects the group. I’m not sure which group but it is, likely “Family” because I had been watching a family play with a water hose.

Nothingness

In addition to all of the above, I have been feeling this strange feeling of being in between life cycles. It is the open feeling, like I am waiting to be shown the next step. Where earlier in the Fall months I was feeling ready to make drastic life changes and considering doing so, now I feel as if I need nothing at all. It isn’t necessarily a peaceful feeling but more a feeling of nothingness, as if I an drifting in a void. Where I am usually seeking a glimpse of future available paths, now there is no seeking beyond the present. I don’t seem to care. It isn’t apathy, either, it is…..nothingness.

To be honest, the feeling is not one I am comfortable with. So last night I attempted to dig within a bit to try and tap into any remaining emotion that might need release. I have a tendency to bury emotion, especially emotions that are overwhelming or difficult to handle, and sometimes the only way to move that emotion up and out is to do a bit of digging. Besides, often, for me at least, no feeling is a symptom of too much feeling.

I was able to contact some emotion, emotion connected to a past event from over 5 years ago now. There was very little emotion remaining but enough to bring some tears. And, of course, I was confronted with what I can only describe as a hole in my heart that when inspected doesn’t reveal anything except emptiness. I am very familiar with it. It seems to be a part of my Being, as if I were born with it.

Where in the past I would attempt to fill this hole with whatever I could, I have learned that it is pointless. Nothing external will work. In fact, I am not even sure a hole actually exists but is instead a belief most likely compounded by perceived rejection and abandonment by others.

Mostly I feel ready. For what? I have no idea but I guess that is the point.

Edit: After I wrote this post I went on my morning walk. Within a minute I found the playing card I had seen some time ago. When I first saw it, it was the 6 of Hearts, but today when I saw it the 6 of Hearts part was completely gone. The weather must have destroyed it. So it was a completely blank playing card and a validation of what I just wrote. I feel “blank”, just like the card.

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Tag Archives: symbolism

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Kundalini Dream: Have Dinner with Me

Vision: Tidal Wave