Tag Archives: synchronicity

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My Prediction

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Woke this morning to a memory of what happened last year on this day. My sister was admitted to the hospital with sepsis and an emotional rollercoaster would follow with her near death and continued struggled. Ultimately, she got her new heart valve and now seems back to “normal”, though we all suspect that she is still using Meth based upon the continued bad luck she and her husband continues to have.

For example, they got kicked out of their RV parking spot by the land owners who stole everything they had stored in the land owner’s shed. Then, when they moved to their new spot, the shed next to their RV unexpectedly caught fire and exploded, damaging their RV and incinerating all their belongings inside the shed. So the things they got to replace the previously stolen items were destroyed by the fire. Everyone in our family suspects the fire may have been caused by a meth lab gone wrong because my cousin, my sister’s husband, has been known to do dumb things like that in the past. I have since discarded that idea because police and firefighters were everywhere and no arrests were made.

This morning I reflected briefly on all that happened last year to include the premonitory dream I had that warned of my sister’s admittance to the hospital on Feb 14th. The message was clear from the dream: “This is just a drill”. It leaves me wondering, though, if that was a drill, when will the real event occur because “drill” suggests one is on the horizon?

Spiritual Happenings

Since my last post my dream recall is on the decline. I suspect the spikes in geomagnetic activity were partially the cause of the uptick in activity, at least for me. I have read many articles and posts suggesting some kind of download was happening, but I didn’t receive such a message myself. Instead, my guidance appeared to be working with me more closely and allowing me to recall those interactions in detail. Why? My only guess is they are preparing me for something. What? Well, it is hard to be certain and, as usual, I take what they tell me and “put it on the shelf”. I am always wary of the messages I received because I have been disappointed way too many times by my misinterpretation.

While dream activity wanes, life continues to bring messages. The messages come in unexpected ways and seem to be building upon one another.

At the Office

On my way out of the office on the 12th, I checked in on my BIL. He was sitting at his computer with this far-off look on his face. I waved, he noticed and nodded his head but still looked overly preoccupied. I thought to myself as I went into the bathroom, “[I should] invite him to lunch.” The thought was loud, and I heard two versions of it – one was my own thought and another was not. With it came this feeling from within as if I were receiving instructions. I considered inviting him myself but as I came out of the bathroom the receptionist said my husband was in the car waiting for me.

When I got into the car I told my husband my idea and said, “He looks like he needs a break.” My husband immediately dialed his brother’s number and invited him. He accepted and joined us for lunch.

At lunch I asked my BIL if he was getting any sleep. They just welcomed a new baby girl a few weeks ago. He said he was and we went on to have a nice conversation with our meal. He is normally not very communicative with me but he and I locked eyes several times and I could feel his openness to my invitation to share. I told him it was my idea to invite him because he looked like he needed a break. He thanked me and said he was “bogged down” and then added, “Sometimes you just have to walk away”.

The conversations were positive and we discussed how his wife is like my husband and how he, my BIL, is similar to me. My BIL needs time to himself and is not overly social. I considered that he may be a 2nd line (HD) like me but did not bring this to his attention. He may even be a Projector based upon how he responded to my invitation to share. It was like he experienced a kind of relief at my invitation. 

On my way home I thought about how that “voice” felt and how the invitation to my BIL came about. It was very unusual. The idea of inviting him felt good….joyful. When I wondered to myself, “What happened?” I heard my guides reply with, “You were listening.” ha!

May be a closeup of nature

Take a Walk, Make $20

Later that same day, I decided to go on a walk despite the frigid temperatures and a recent ice storm. I was in a very positive mood, listening to my music and singing as I walked. Yeah, it was cold, but when it is cold in Texas people become scarce which is just how I like it to be! 🙂

As a familiar song played, one that had recently been part of a dream message, I spotted a $20 bill right on the side of the road. It was in a puddle left from the recent thunderstorm. It was totally unexpected and I laughed for a while, especially when two more songs followed behind the first, songs also recently given as a message. The songs were – Lovesong, Collide, and Crash Into Me.

Message: Angel Fly

The next day I felt like meditating in the middle of the day (not usual for me). After about half an hour I began to go into the in-between state and even had fleeting dreams.

Not long after I fell into a vision/dream type scenario. It was both like I was experiencing it as well as observing it. I was walking. A fly flew into my mouth. I had memory of times when I go running and accidentally end up swallowing a bug. There is nothing you can do but cough and think, “Oh well. It’s too late now!” 

Once aware of the vision I heard someone say, “It’s an angel fly.” I thought, “What?” This brought me out of my reverie. I relaxed a bit and fell back into meditating. That’s when I heard, “You won’t know until it happens.” 

I got up after that. The message was clear, though, and I can’t help but wonder what it means. Will something happen and leave me feeling similarly to how I feel when I accidentally swallow a bug while running? Ewww! lol I told my daughter and said, “I think it means that I won’t see it or know it is coming until it happens and then there will be nothing I can do about.” Being it is a fly, it may be a minor annoyance but symbolically flies represent sudden change and transformation. But an angel fly? 

And More Messages

Yesterday morning, I woke and then lingered in bed meditating. A song was going through my head followed by another. First I heard, “Crash into me and I come into you.” Then, I heard, “Where have you been all my life?” repeat over and over again. At the same time, a guide was talking to me. I remember waking up now and again with visuals of finding money in random places. I also remember being told, “He is a Leo” and knowing this guide was discussing a person I would meet soon. My response was that I disliked Leo men because of their selfish tendencies. With this I got a reminder of a previous message, “Fire with Fire.” I somehow knew the meeting was in March and wondered how long it would last. I heard two to three weeks. I asked if this would be the same man I would meet in October and heard, “You will see.” Then there was a flash of a vivid image of a man with dark hair standing in front of me. His eyes were pale, sky blue and so bright they seemed to glow.

My Prediction

Based upon the messages and signs coming through, my guess as to the overall message is something like this:

At some point in the future I will meet someone. My guess is it will be in the Spring (March). The tarot cards I found suggest this person is male, intelligent and visiting for a short time. He might be a fire sign and the meeting with him will be similar to accidentally “swallowing a fly”, meaning I won’t see it coming until it is too late to do anything about it and I may initially be annoyed. I could end up feeling “split” because of this meeting and so experience internal conflict, or a “yes” and “no” tug-of-war inside. The money suggests a streak of “good luck” and the angel fly message implies that the meeting will be helpful in some way. Maybe he is/acts as an “angel” in that he provides me with something I need on my spiritual path? Regardless, I am being asked to “listen” and “follow my joy”. If I do this, I will successfully navigate the experience.

We’ll see if I am right. If not, no biggie. I prefer not to “swallow a fly” anyway. lol

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Found: Another Tarot Card

Today, even though I felt tired and wanted to take a nap, I felt an urge to go on a long walk. So, I traveled the same route as last week. Since I felt urged to go on the walk, I kept an eye out along the way for items that might relay a message, just in case.

On the way back, on the same bridge as last week, I stopped and looked over the bridge. Below me, I noticed a card poking out of a pile of leaves. Just like last time, I couldn’t tell what was on the face of the card. I picked it up and this is what I found:

11 Knight of Coins

I had no idea what this card was. Never seen this deck. So, I Googled it. Found out it is a Spanish playing card deck, La Baraja Espanola, used most often for games and fortune telling.

This card is from the coin suite, the 11 is the Knight (Caballo).

Meaning: Eleven (Caballo) : Traveler. Somebody from afar. Good friend. Intelligent, confident man. The matter at hand.

The card I found last week (6 of Cups or Copas) means this:

Six (Seis): Love. Start of a love affair. Passion.

Six of Cups

The cards are from the same deck. I didn’t search through the leaves to see if the entire deck is there. I figure I can go on a walk next week and see if another one is poking out. lol

Anyway, the message looks to be: Love, Passion and/or the start of a love affair with a traveler/friend from afar who is intelligent and confident.

Here is a link to the site where the information about the deck and card meanings.

If you don’t recall my other post, my finding of playing cards began in December. I found the 6 of Hearts first and so when I found the six of Cups later on, I wondered if the two cards had the same meaning. What I found online said it did, but some friends mentioned it might have an altogether different meaning. I wasn’t sure, but my initial reaction was the second card was a confirmation and reminder of the first card.

January 7th

Finding this card and figuring out the meaning of it and the potential message of the two cards combined, I was reminded of something that happened in January.

From my private journal:

Woke at around 5:30am to a male guide telling me, “You will meet someone in October.” My first thought was that I didn’t want to wait that long. Of course, when I woke I was feeling like I want to exit this life, so the message was likely in response to that. My guidance “hangs carrots” in front of me to keep me going. So being told that I will meet someone in October doesn’t necessarily mean a romance is coming. It could mean anything. 

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Message: Collision, and Night-Long Dream #2

I couldn’t sleep last night and I was real tired. Not sure what caused it. Maybe the ridiculously warm temps here in Texas? I was in the mid-80’s! It was around midnight when I finally did fall asleep but woke soon after startled from an upsetting dream.

Dream: Collision

I was driving a car along the country roads where I grew up. My daughter was in the passenger side sitting on the edge of the open window. I felt to be in a hurry as she chatted happily about random subjects. 

As we approached a familiar area of road I saw people standing along the side of the road. It appeared they were waiting for the bus. I told my daughter to get down. She asked why and, annoyed, I snapped back, “Because they will see you!” I was more concerned what people would think than of her safety. 

I slowed down as I got closer to the people. A little girl, scarcely a toddler, wandering out into the road in front of me. I slammed on my brakes to avoid her and her mother came out into the road to get her. The woman came to my window and apologized. That is when I saw the road was actually full of all sorts of people milling about. What were they doing wandering in the road so early in the morning? All of the them were wearing light colored clothes and it reminded me of a scene from the show, The 4400. 

Somehow my dog, Monty, got out of the car. I hadn’t even realized he was with us. I jumped out and called him. He was standing in the road, happy to be around all the people. He was so comfortable he lay down in the middle of the road. 

As I went to grab his leash, a vehicle drove through the crowd, ignoring people and….Monty. I watched in horror as the car ran over his head, crushing his snout. I heard him whelp in pain but what was the worst is I saw in detail how his little face was crushed. 

Lesson and Message

The shock and what was running through my mind woke me. I felt panic as I lay there and then knew I would not be falling back to sleep anytime soon because the dream brought of memories of all the pets I’ve lost in my life. I also worried the dream was a premonition. What would I do if something like that happened in real life? I knew I would prefer to avoid it at all costs, like I did when my poor Trooper was put to sleep. I couldn’t confront it so I stayed in the lobby and let the vet take my place by his side. I also refused to see the dead bodies of my other pets after they died. I wondered why I did that.

It was at this point a guide said, “Death isn’t pretty.” It was the same guide energy from the other night. 

As I attempted to return to sleep, I entered the in-between where a word came to mind, “Collision”. It was then I understood the reason for the dream.

On February 3rd, I experienced something unusual as I was driving to work. That morning I had awakened from a night-long dream and the entire day felt odd. For the first time in years I was in “La La Land” as I call it, which indicates my crown is more open than usual. 

A song came on the radio, one I hadn’t heard in years: Collide.

I was waiting at a red light as it played, still off in La La Land, when I noticed a large semi-truck was right on my bumper. I ignored it but then I swear I felt him tap my bumper. I thought, “Did he just hit me?” I wasn’t sure but waved my hand out my window to see what he would do. Not long after he honked his horn and got out of his truck. I thought this meant he did hit me so I got out of my car. I asked, “Did you hit me?” He said, “No.” I checked my bumper and it was fine. So, I got back in my car as the song played, “You and I collide.” I thought it very strange and felt I must have imagined the bumper tap because of the song. But I know I felt him tap my bumper because I felt the car lurch forward! Still in La La Land, I continued on to work, feeling somewhere in-between this world and another.

Later on that same day another song started playing while I was editing a spreadsheet for work. It shifted me into La La Land immediately. It was like someone whispering to me, “Pay attention….”.

The song? Crash Into Me. Yep. 

And now I am hearing, “Collision”. 

From that point on, this guide began to discuss the lesson being presented for inspection. I remembered how it took me 5 years to get a new dog after Trooper died. I didn’t think I would ever get another dog, but I did. This memory was linked to other memories, memories of my other dogs but also of times in my life where I experienced a “collision”. Usually, these collisions were not pleasant and involved death, but not always, at least not actual death. 

Collision = Unexpected change or a life “shake-up”.

My guide asked me to consider what would have happened had I never had my other dogs. What would happen if I didn’t agree to have those relationships that never panned out? 

The whole point was that to experience joy, pleasure, or any other positive emotion, one must open themselves up to the possibility. Take a risk. Open your heart. Be vulnerable. But doing that also opens one up to the potential for great pain and suffering. The pain of loss is difficult to bear and over time some completely close themselves off to things which bring them joy and pleasure in order to avoid the inevitable loss. 

I knew this was true for me.

But I did get another dog in the end, didn’t I? It took me five years but I did despite knowing, at some point, I will lose him, too. Ultimately, I decided that having a loyal companion who loved me unconditionally was worth the pain and loss. I did try to not attach, but I know I have because this dream really upset me.

With human relationships I tend to keep others at a distance. I never fully open up to anyone. I am so very cautious. The minute someone gives me an indication that they are untrustworthy, I shut down completely. I may appear open, but I’m not.

As it is, the only time I completely opened up in this lifetime, my heart got smashed, so why would I open up again and risk that kind of debilitating pain? That was one hell of a collision!

The last thing I remember thinking before falling asleep was considering that it had been five years since my heart connection. It took me five years to forget before I got another dog. Perhaps I have forgotten enough of my past pain that I might open up my heart again? 

As I type this I can’t help but think another “collision” is coming.

Night Long Dream #2

And so I entered into a dream that continued through the night even after waking several times.

The dream began in a restaurant. I was with someone I know from online. I recognized him immediately. As we sat waiting to order I saw a part of him I didn’t know. When the waitress took too long to take our order he was quite vocal about it to the point that others in the restaurant heard him. I just laughed it off, not really embarrassed and knowing it was just part of who he was. Eventually, his eggs came as ordered – sunny side up. They looked raw to me as I arranged his toast on the plate and handed it to him. He ate the food quickly seeming famished. 

I remember knowing an entire story had played out before this scene so I asked my guide, “I want to see what happened.” From this point, I began to recount how this man and I had gotten to the restaurant. 

First, there was memory of making plans to meet up at an airport somewhere. I would fly in from Texas and he would fly in from his state. When we met up, the man no longer looked like his does in this life. Instead, he looked like the man from my previous night-long dream, but younger.

From there, we went to a hotel where we had separate rooms across the hall from each other. The receptionist met us and showed up to our rooms. Again, the man was quite vocal and gruff. He was most definitely a “brute” who wanted things his way and was not afraid to make it known to others when things were not what he wanted.

Inside our rooms we planned our day. I remember he was talking very loudly and putting up a front as this very strong, masculine man who had no weaknesses. But I knew him better than that so every time he was loud to the point that it would put someone off and scare them away, I laughed it off and said something to soothe him. He would then smile. It was like we had own our little secret world.

Throughout the dream I kept waking up and returning to sleep. I was aware that I was still talking to my guide and that my considerations were directing the dream. 

In one part of the dream we were preparing to head back home. I remember waiting in a lobby, maybe at the airport, where I filled a water bottle. I also remember visiting a restaurant. It felt like the man was constantly talking loudly while I remained happily silent and calm. He had lots of complaints but I took none seriously. 

In the last part of the dream I remember the man looked like my heart connection. I remember taking an earlier flight home than was previously agreed upon but he didn’t know it. I arrived home and hours later received a text from him saying his plane had landed. I told him I was already there, waiting. He asked how and I said I caught an earlier flight, one at 11am while his left at 3pm.

Interpretation

The feeling from the dream is that I was being shown relationships I have had in this lifetime and how they are linked to other lifetimes. I recognized all the men. The first man in the restaurant was behaving like a previous version of himself. He was quite brazen, bold and outspoken. He did not care if he hurt other peoples’ feelings. He was use to getting what he wanted. 

An alternate version of the man appeared in most of the dream. He was a younger version of the man in my dream from Feb 3. Our connection revealed itself as special, at least in that we knew each other well enough that I did not take his demanding behavior personally. I easily calmed him and there was an unspoken understanding between us. 

It seems that the shifting of the appearance of the man was there to indicate that all masculines are One. They may take on different forms and personalities and live different lives, but in essence they are the same energy. This has been discussed with me in the past, it has just been many years now.

Like the last night-long dream, it seems this guide is attempting to get me to open up and reconsider a past decision. He denies this when I ask, though, saying instead, “I am here to help”.

The last thing I remember hearing is me saying to him, “I will live a normal life.” I’m not sure what kind of “normal”, maybe my kind of “normal”, because this life has been anything but normal! 

Image source – http://www.nasa.gov

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Message: Down in a Blaze of Glory

So my daughter tells me her dreams every once in a while. She says that for a while now they have been upsetting, even violent. I told her I have heard others say the same thing. Most recently she says her dreams are about our family being in danger – our home was on fire, someone broke in, hostage situations, etc.

She has also told me she thinks she died in 9/11 when the World Trade Centers were bombed. She told me this several years ago but then again after the anniversary this year. I asked her why she thought this and she described a dream she has in which she was running for her life in the streets of a large city. The buildings towered over her, the sky was dark and debris was falling from it. There were hundreds of others running with her. I asked how she died. She said, “I was hit in the head by something that fell from the sky.” I asked her why she thought she died in 9/11 and she said, “The dreams are just so real. It feels like it really happened to me.”

My daughter has also described numerous experiences where she feels she cannot move but is wide awake (sleep paralysis) as well as obviously lucid dream states that she wakes herself up from.

When my daughter was young (2-4 years old) she would tell me about Spirit she saw. She pointed to someone once, describing what she saw. It was my recently deceased grandfather. She also saw our recently deceased neighbor outside her bedroom window, calling him “a one-armed man”. He had lost his arm in an accident when he was young but she had never seen him in real life to know that.

I find it interesting that my daughter is experiencing this now when for years she experienced nothing. I’ve been feeling strongly that this year is more than an upsetting, eye-opening year because of the events taking place around the world. I keep hearing/Knowing that this year is a pivotal one for those who are Spiritual Warriors. It is time to step into that role fully.

Up until now I can’t say I’ve had any violent or upsetting dreams. However, I tend to not be upset by dreams in general. After my daughter told me about her dreams I, of course, had a dream in which our home was being broken into and items stolen. I woke, hearing a loud “bang!” and went downstairs to check. I felt shaky but otherwise unconcerned.

Then, last night, I had another strange dream. It felt like I was witnessing an actual event. The event may have been in this timeline’s past or on another timeline altogether, or could be a future event. Then again it may not be an actual event at all. Yet it reminded me of when I was a child and how I would receive vivid images of events when they were told to me. Later in life I discovered these vivid images were me witnessing the event through the eyes/mind of the experiencer.

Below is the dream I had this morning. Prior to this I had woken briefly and before I fell back to sleep I heard a voice say, “Do not be afraid.”

Dream: Dawson Mass Murder

I was floating down a country road in an unfamiliar area. Someone was with me, giving me a tour of the area and describing the events that occurred there.

What I saw was a vast field of tall, dead grass. To the left of the field was a grove of deciduous trees. The road near the field was small and might have been made of dirt, but I am uncertain. The area felt to be located somewhere in the Northeastern US, but I was not informed of the “where”.

Then I was observing a scene unfold. A group of people were standing in the field. Someone was barking orders at them, but I can’t remember what they were being told to do. Whatever it was, the people were not doing it. I could hear one woman’s thoughts. She was adamant that no matter what she would stand her ground. She was responding to the threat of death by fire and repeating to herself, “I like fire. It feels good.” It was as if she was trying to convince herself that death by fire was pleasant and as a result she believed it.

Then there was a commotion and a rise in fear among the people gathered there. Out of nowhere a gush of fire was shot at each of them as if someone was using a blow torch. They each caught on fire and began to burn alive. The entire time the woman was smiling, enjoying the feeling until she collapsed on the ground next to her companions.

The scene shifted. I was still at the field but there was now a fence to the left and the area seemed groomed and less wild. In the exact location where the group had died stood a circle of tall, thin trees. I knew there was a tree for each of the victims. I noticed a person could walk into the circle and inside were places to sit. It felt like it was placed there to honor the fallen.

As I woke, I wondered what I had just witnessed. I heard, “Dawson” and felt like I had been witness to either a mass murder or suicide event.

Strange Sync

Upon waking I went downstairs to get my morning coffee. My husband is prone to play music loudly in the mornings (he is a morning person) and for some reason he had awakened with a particular song in his head. He asked me, “Have you ever seen the movie, Young Guns? My brother said it was his favorite when he was growing up.” I said, “Yes. I think that movie was lots of peoples’ favorite. It was very popular at the time.”

Before he was able to play a song I knew what song he was going to play. The lyrics, “down in a blaze of glory” came to mind along with a memory of my dream, the people all on fire standing together, dying together. Then the song was playing and I said to him, “It’s very interesting that you are playing that song this morning. I just had a dream….” I described the dream but my husband was upstairs in the shower, so never heard me.

After hearing the song, I can’t help but think that it is part of a bigger message – to “go down in a blaze of glory”, to stand firm in my truth no matter the threat to my own survival – or to be more specific, the Ego’s survival. And going “down” does not mean the end. It is transformation by fire, something I am already very familiar with; The Phoenix. Rebirth.

Considerations

A friend of mine recently relayed to me that she felt a breakthrough was on the horizon. I responded with, “I think we are all anticipating something right now. It is ‘in the air'”.

Though I am not having great spiritual breakthrough experiences like I’ve had in the past, there are still messages coming through. These messages indicate, like I said above, that the time we have been preparing for is here – NOW. The preparation has been thorough. We have now the tools needed to step into our role, whatever that role may be.

My question has been, “What is my role? Who am I?” The answer is coming in bits and pieces but I have now received the same message enough times to know that that role is well known by me (my HS) and the timing of it is crucial and pre-planned.

Yesterday I wrote of an opportunity to go to Costa Rica where I can effectively unburden myself, opening up a space within that can then be filled with the New. Upon further research I discovered that though Costa Rica is open to visitors from the US, the state of Texas is not permitted entry. Our Covid numbers are just too high.

I wasn’t really disappointed to discover this fact. I had an inkling that the opportunity was more symbolic of what it is I need to do right now.

As if to affirm my suspicions, I came across a blog post and video that basically reiterated my Knowing. The video stated that the time is Now, that the present and future are coming together and that “we have to completely redefine who we are” (@23:45).

The video title is, Set the Mother Free and the Soul comes Home. Now if that isn’t a sync, I don’t know what is! To state the obvious – I am being guided to unburden myself. The burden I feel is as a mother in this time on Earth.

Now the question is, “How do I do that?” I have no doubt that the answer will be provided to me. If not to go to Costa Rica for three months, then something else.

At 30:51 she asks, “What do I have to do to set you free?” The answer: “Speak the truth always. Shatter the spell, this pretending that she doesn’t exist and the soul isn’t important. Each and every one of you has the Mother imprisoned within you and that is your spark, that is your Divine spark that Spirit is asking you to discover, to rediscover again and to bring forth.”

So it starts with speaking the truth, even if it is painful, and then to allow that truth to guide you forward. I know, though, that this is not easy.

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More Messages – B+, Be Patient, Be Ready

I continue to be more tired than usual, though nothing significant as to slow me down during my waking hours. Messages continue to come through and last night I did not get to sleep until midnight. I stayed just on the edge of sleep, in that in-between space, for three hours.

My dreams have been really weird lately as well. Here are just a couple from the last few days.

Dream: B+

I was on a bus with a group of others. The bus was one of those for traveling long distances and was quite grand. We were at the back all settled in. We had blankets (protection) and could lay down when we wanted. There was two men, one I was especially close to. I was being asked questions about this man. Later, me and the man sat and spoke for a while with a nurse (need to take time out to heal) about our blood (life, love, passion, disappointments) type. I remember her asking the man if he was AB+ and he told her he was B+. I interrupted and said, “I am B+, too.” There were other things discussed, personality traits, habits, tendencies, etc. I said, “It sounds like we are a good match.” The nurse handed me a paper with the results. I looked down and saw, “B+” and heard it echo in my head.

Afterward the man was tired and intent on laying down to sleep. I remember seeing him under a pile of blankets (protection, trying to cover up or hide), only the front part of his face showing, eyes closed and sleeping peacefully. I lay down beside him wide awake thinking about him sleeping and the time it would take for him to wake up. I could not sleep and after a few moments, I got up, threw off all my blankets (not willing to hide) and began to talk to the driver (collective situation) about how long it would take for us to get to our destination.

The driver suddenly got out of the driver’s seat and exited the bus while it was still moving to use to bathroom (cleansing). I could see him head out (flying) over the hills and disappear. Worried, I wondered who would drive and my husband took the wheel. I became instantly concerned about his driving erratically and started to warn him about things on the road (back seat driving). He ignored me, driving even more recklessly toward the side of the road. He almost ran over a person sitting in a lawn chair but managed to maneuver around them. We stopped and some of us exited the bus to go to get some food (physical/emotional energy).

I went to the middle of the line to place my order. I could see the illuminated menu overhead. I spoke to a lady and ordered the vegetarian burger (feeling dissatisfied within a relationship), it was like the Big Mac with three layers only vegetarian(lacking substance in some area of life). She asked me if I wanted “everything on it” and I said, “yes”. She said that sometimes certain ingredients could cause the burger to become soggy. I recall thinking it odd that McDonald’s (fast food = impatience) would have a veggie burger anyway. I ordered the entire meal deal, got my sandwich and left the line. One of the other passengers (my husband I think) tried to enter the line toward the end and was told to go back to the beginning of the line.

When I woke the “B+” was the strongest memory from the dream.

Dream: Back to Montana

In this dream I recall talking to my ex-husband about his life and second wife. We discussed him being on a “diet”. This could be literal or figurative or both because he has always struggled with his weight and the last time we met he had gained quite a bit of weight and was upset about it. I remember discussing his ex and how they met. He said she was 24 years old and had just had a baby. I believe this could have been when they actually met while he and I were married because it felt to be the case and I recall she was young (I know I was). I remember seeing her in the dream for a bit as we traveled in a flatbed trailer together, legs dangling off the edge as we arrived at a grocery store.

Then we were inside a grocery store (seeking fulfillment) and at a self-check-out. My ex was attempting to purchase something but his card wouldn’t work. I helped but recall needing to urinate (release of emotion or establishing boundaries) so relieved myself right there by the register (lol).

I recall there being a lecture going on nearby but I don’t remember about what. There was focus on me for a bit. The speaker asked me to join in on a game and I refused saying, “I always win”. lol I walked through the crowd and said this very loudly and proudly while everyone looked at me. In the dream I felt accomplished with a bit of an attitude of superiority.

Then I remember driving through Montana and noticing the roads were multiple colors, like they had been patched with different materials. One section was a fresh black asphalt and another was orange and rough with gravel. I commented on it and stated that Montana needed to work on their roads. However, I knew it was pointless because of the amount of ice and snow in the area. It tends to crack the roads and cause them to go into disrepair.

As we drove (my ex and I) he stopped by a house and got out of the car. He went to the house of a friend. Then he took a dog into a place that transformed the dog into stone. It was the oddest thing and when the dog (relationship or friendship) was transformed it still could move and acted real but it was gray and made of solid rock (unchanging, solid). He did this to two dogs total and when I saw the dog being transformed it was awake and seemed to react with pain. It bothered me but when the dog was unharmed I relaxed.

When I woke from this dream it felt like I had actually been talking to my ex-husband. We have a bond that will always be there. I would not be surprised if I heard from him again after all these years. He does like to “check-in” every now and again. 🙂

Insect Visitor

On September 16th I had an insect visitor in my house. I noticed him when I was doing my workout. I could see his eyes on me and feel him looking at me the whole time. I knew it was a preying mantis despite him being so high up on the ceiling. It was odd how noticeable his energy was!

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Here he is on the ceiling watching me.

After I finished my workout I got a closer look, said “hi” and then forgot about him for a bit. When I went back he had moved close enough for me to get to him. I put a paintbrush up to him and he crawled on. I took him outside and set him free. The whole time he had his alien eyes on me and was waving his hands like he was casting a spell.

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After I set him free.

I watched him for a while. He let me get really, really close. He bounced up and down as he walked, almost like he was dancing. I joked to my daughter about it calling it his “freedom dance”. I did some research and found out preying mantis’ “bounce” in order to look more like a leaf. Pretty cool!

The preying mantis’ message is simple: Be patient. Slow down. Wait for the right moment before taking any action. Be ready. They remind us to have patience in acquiring the things we want and to remain balanced throughout the duration of the wait. The praying mantis always comes to us when we are internally craving peace, quiet, and calm in our lives. Through stillness, awareness, and balance, we can hear and recognize the perfect moment. We must listen to the voice that speaks to us with openness, not fear. If we have patience and wait before striking, the right moment will come, and we will succeed.[Source] 

I wasn’t going to write about the praying mantis but just now I remembered part of the conversation I was having in the in-between last night. I was reminded that I Knew what was coming, to reign in that part of me that wanted everything NOW and instead be patient and wait for the right time to present itself. Of course it was more than a message, it was also a memory, which always makes the message hit home.

Other Messages

I am noticing that every thought I have, every consideration, typically comes back to me in some way not long after. The syncs are just blowing my mind lately and they are continuous. I have multiple incidents every day. And these are not from me seeking them out. They just happen, my memory is sparked and I know at my core that a message has just been delivered. It is actually very beautiful and reminds me that I am creating every moment with my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

This morning, for example, I was thinking about my recent heart connection. I am still blown away and not by the connection itself. No. By the realization of what I am capable of – what we are capable of. Usually I can conceive of all sorts of possibilities. I have a great imagination. But not even I could have imagined this because it is so outside my physical reality experience and conditioning.

Anyway, I was thinking of the differences in the connections we have. They have personalities, no one is like the other. Some are more intense, far deeper than I can even express in words. And honestly I am not sure I can handle a connection like that and so I doubt my own ability to cope with the extremes knowing that something so wondrous has risks of which I am all too familiar. Yet I know that despite the obvious risks I would jump in head first over and over to experience such a connection like that again.

So in my uncertainty a video was posted on FB that spoke to me about what I was thinking, as if the video were meant for just me. And the solution was so simple: If you love someone, send your love to them and come up against a wall, offer that love to God, don’t try to squash it.

And then, not long after, I saw this posted by a friend. Again, it spoke to a thought I had been having as if to say, “You are not wrong”:

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Message Overload

It’s been a full and busy week but I’ll skip the mundane stuff for now as it all goes along with being a working mom/wife/do-it-all superwoman. 🙂

Spiritually I have been receiving messages both in dreams and in signs and messages from the environment.

This week’s messages:

A double rainbow 🙂

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A quote from Into the Wild –

You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.

Some kind of dead baby animal on the sidewalk which came after seeing two baby doves, one dead and the other waiting to die.

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Fantastic sunsets every day this week

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And then there are the following dreams and messages which include:

Orangutans
Message to “Run!”
Goddess Kali
The Madonna

Dream: Finding Balance

In this dream I was a student attending school. I was male and much older than the other kids (like 18 while they were all early teens). There was a discussion about me that I heard as if part of it. The teachers were saying that I was not living up to my potential. There are flashes of memory of me working on my assignments and getting them back with red marks on them and deductions in points for grammatical (communication) errors. It was so common that I had gone into apathy over it for the most part. Eventually, I got a paper back, saw points deducted and got angry about it because the error was due to the teacher’s poor handwriting. I showed it to the teachers, exasperated, saying, “You can’t even tell what that word is!” I ended up crying and feeling like a failure.

Then the dream ended up with me being given a pair of inline skates (balance). All the other students were skating perfectly and I could barely stay standing (feeling uncertain). I recall that skating was a school subject and like the other subjects I was doing very poorly. Eventually, I decided I would not fail so I just kept trying, intent on being able to succeed at skating. My main issue was staying balanced on the skates. I kept falling over. With practice I realized that it was all in the way I was positioning my feet. I shifted position and it allowed me to stay up on my feet. I learned from there to skate really well (progressing towards goals). Everyone noticed and there was acknowledgement by them that I could succeed. I was proud of myself, too. It was a relief.

Message: Run!

As I woke from this dream I was still emotional but not crying. I lingered in the in-between where I spoke to my guidance a while. The main feeling I had was of hopelessness. There was a feeling of not knowing how to proceed, like a question to my guidance. A flash of a computer screen appeared and it was an email inbox. I could read the message subject heading. It was from a female guide and said, “Subject: Run!” I also remember seeing the word, “Texas”. This woke me and I thought the message was literal but now I am not so sure.

As I woke a song came to mind, one I have heard for a few days now – Faith Hill’s Breathe.

Other Dreams/Messages

I dreamed I was in the middle of a busy highway. There was high traffic (daily life, routine) and the cars were backed up and moving at a snail’s pace. I, however, was on board a train (life’s journey, on the right track) that was on the highway. This train held passengers and was sleek like a bullet and blue in color (monorail train). I sat in a seat looking out the window as the train took me over and past all the slow traffic. I was saving a seat to my left. I remember putting my hand on the seat which was close to the window and then leaning over to look out the window. The seat was tan in color and soft. Out the window I saw a young girl (aspect of me perhaps?) chasing after the train. It felt like she was going to jump on. I was hopeful for her.

In another dream I was being encouraged to put my hair in a braid (needing courage). I spent a while doing just that. I could feel my hair very real in my hands. The feeling I had while braiding my hair was apprehension. I knew it meant I needed to have courage.

Dream:  Orangutans

The dream began with me going to a school (life lessons). They had rearranged all the classrooms and my old principal was there. I was suppose to have put in my resignation but forgot. Turns out he did not hire someone to replace me but put me in another position where I was working with kids who were “special needs”. I agreed to work since the job was still available.

When I went to find my room I wandered through the 3rd grade hallway and eventually made it to the first floor (failure, lack of understanding) where my office was suppose to be but it turned out I was put in with many other teachers in the nursing clinic (healing). I had a section set apart where my students sat but I had no lesson plans (feeling unprepared) or anything for class. Another teacher helped. I noticed I had a student with tourettes syndrome. I recall liking that I had only a handful of students because it meant I could get more involved with them. I hugged one even. It seemed like in this dream I was a nurse and teacher, but it is hard to say. I felt confused as to whether I wanted the job.

Then I was on a trip with the kids. We passed by a section of housing that had been demolished (final end to something) and then by another that was being renovated (new perspective). We drove up into the hills and parked. A man was with me who had been driving. He got out of the car and left it for me to drive, handing me the keys (control). I remember knowing the neighborhood use to be lived in by my ex-BIL and he had said it was haunted (lack of awareness, fear).

The man walked away and soon I saw that he was in the tree with several large orangutans (inner wild side or sexual desires). They took him away, swinging across the treetops. I turned back to the car and saw a pig-animal (stubbornness, greed) in the road, like a half-pig, half-dog or something. It was really weird so I decided to get out of there.

I drove off and headed into a house that was both mine and this man’s. I saw he had cleaned it thoroughly and packed up his things into some bags. Everything was neat and tidy. It felt like he was leaving for good.

I remember standing in front of a mirror. The man was to my left standing in front of the mirror, too. Both of us were looking at our reflection. I remember looking over at him and then back at myself. I saw my complexion was clear but thought there was a stressful situation coming up that would surely mean my face would break out again. I remember accepting it if it did but the feeling of the stressful situation was very memorable.

Dream: Juniper Berry Honey

This dream was odd. I recall that my friend’s brother was there and coming onto me like he use to in high school. I responded in much the same way – curious and liking the attention but not really interested in him. My MIL was there as well but I only remember showing her the Juniper (learn to take the negative with the positive) berries (fulfilling relationship or experience) and the honey that could be extracted from them. The taste of the Juniper honey (compassion, wisdom, peace, longevity, joy) was super sweet and musky. It was good but too much of it would give a person a headache or tummy ache.

I remember seeing the tiny, blue (heaven, wisdom, truth) berries and being told taking them like pills was helpful for the immune system, like to act as a way to get the body use to the high pollen for allergy season. I always thought they were poison so I was fascinated that they could be eaten. I saw someone toss a handful into their mouth and swallow them with water. When I was shown the honey that some had inside I had to taste some.

At one point I was sitting on a sofa with my friend’s brother and he was really sending me messages that he wanted to kiss me. It was a creepy feeling because I was not interested in him yet he was coming on really strong. At one point he leaned in and kissed me and it was slobbery.

When I got up to go I noticed that there were two large urine (rejection of feelings) spots on the carpet. My MIL asked about them and I said the dog must have done it but there was no dog around.

There is a scene that took place in a hotel (shift in identity) room and I remember waking up in a bed in the the hotel and the color blue being everywhere. It felt like I needed to get ready to go somewhere. I was with a group that felt like family but I did not recognize any of them. . All of the people had bright blue skin like the Hindu Goddess Kali. Blue represents truth, wisdom, heaven or can also mean a desire to get away. The Goddess represents death and rebirth.

In-Between (this morning)

When I woke I lingered in the in-between a while. I was discussing what I wanted with my guidance.

In the midst of this conversation I had an immediate memory. My son Elek just got a new toy boat. He played with it continuously for a week. Then he demanded another toy. He got a red firetruck. Not two days later he wants another. I told him no. He continues to throw a fit, wanting another NOW. My guidance showed me this in regards to my experiences indicating that I was like Elek. I got my toys and am still not satisfied. I was asked to consider returning to the “toys” I have been given rather than asking for more. Something they said (can’t recall exact wording) suggested that I was looking for problems/trouble.

There was a moment in the discussion when my mind wandered to my current debt issues. I thought I was saying, “I need to charge the credit card” but what I heard my mind say was, “I need to charge the Madonna” and every time I would say “card” the word “Madonna” was what my mind said. I believe Madonna is symbolic for the Divine Feminine. Perhaps I was saying to myself that I need to recharge or rest?

I continue to feel that I need to be very careful about what I think when it comes to what I want. I need to be very sure of what it is I want because it will come to pass.

This song is also coming up a lot. Specifically the part, “Marry that girl. Marry her anyway.”

I can’t help but think that events are setting the scene for something to happen. Specifically, it feels like next month will be a big month, like I am being prepared for something. There are other things going on as well, all pointing to a shift of some sort. At times it has gotten so intense that it puts me a bit on edge.

 

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Despacito – Slow, Steady Progress

Another night of limited sleep courtesy of my daughter’s stuffy nose and congestion. Well, I say my lack of sleep is connected to her cold, but I can’t be 100% sure that is all it is.

Last night the energy sensations returned almost immediately upon laying down. My crown and third-eye were the most active. I sensed a male energy to my left, my guide, or “partner” as I tend to call him now – the part that says “I am YOU” and continues to facilitate the merging of the masculine and feminine within.

Whenever my partner draws close I am covered in energy that spreads all the way to my fingers and toes. This has always happened, for as long as I have been conscious of him. Recent events, however, have revealed that this energy can be magnified internally and externally. Internally by my own intent. Externally by a catalyst.

Up until this point I have only had two external catalysts for this energy. Most of my experiences have been internal. Both provide lessons unique to the experience. Those that are external tend to amplify the stagnant areas or blockages in ways that my own inner work cannot. If I am not moving forward/progressing on my own then these catalysts get me moving again, spurring me forward by exposing that which is holding me back. Often times I am aware of what is revealed but purposefully or habitually ignoring it. I have learned through this external catalytic experiences that ignoring something will not make it go away but will in fact make it larger until I am forced to confront it.

In both cases the masculine energy becomes personified. Internally this energy feels separate from myself, like a guide who is always there, nudging me along and providing support and unconditional love. I have called him many names – Steven, Companion Traveler, Spiritual Counterpart, and now partner. He changes as as I change; grows as I grow.

Externally the masculine energy comes with a body, a unique personality, a history, an Ego, hopes, dreams, fears, etc….and, of course, karma. Ultimately, the two – external and internal – are the same energy, one is just personified in human form for the purpose of teaching – no reflecting to me – that which I most need to know about myself. Thus, the external masculine has a “catalytic” effect the internal masculine does not have.

At present I am happily connecting to my internal masculine and being shown more about myself and my innate spiritual abilities. Last night I was shown how I can go within and dance with him/me/us. In other words, I am being taught how to reproduce from within an experience that previously has only come about via a catalyst. This, for me was exhilarating despite my exhausted state.

I will try and describe my experience the best I can…

When my partner came near and I felt the energy that is Us spreading through my physical body I was at first sad because I knew it would not intensify as it had recently. I felt sad for this and a bit hopeless and unable to understand the why of it all. My partner asked me to stop looking outward to him (or anyone else) for the connection I was seeking, He then repeated to me, “I am YOU”, and I knew he meant I should turn my focus inward. I have always known this but for some reason this time my perspective was different. The minute I focused inward I seemed to shift into him, into my own masculine, and as such I saw/felt myself, the feminine. In an instant I became both masculine and feminine and the energy – my energy – seemed to flood into my head all at once, pushing against my third eye with such force that I could sense that some other version of myself would take over, forcing my eyes open to “see” in a way I cannot on my own. Like in my previous experience of this, it seemed as if someone else was about to “take over”, but I know this is not the case because last time I allowed it. However, my human mind cannot help but react to what feels like a “invasion” and if I were to over analyze the sensation I would likely freak out completely. Thankfully, I have experienced enough of the “strange and unusual” that these types of human reactions are easily quieted.

The sensation I felt in my third-eye was most similar to my experiences of going OOB. There was a sudden swirling expansiveness and pressure in my third-eye accompanied by what I can only describe as a sound – a rushing, whirling like wind in my ears. Of course, the experience and understanding of what I was doing and how I was doing it was all at once mind-blowing. A part of me thought it impossible. With this doubt everything calmed, and once again I was sensing my partner as separate from me.

Recognizing I was the cause, I was doing it all, it did not take me long to try again. And again. And again. Each time I would get to a point, a crescendo of sorts, where I knew all I needed to do was allow and surrender. When that point arrived I couldn’t do it. It was just too exciting, to mind-blowing (not scary). My mind would not let go. It all reminds me of attempting a conscious astral projection from the body. It took me over a month of consistent trying to finally achieve a conscious exit. I would keep failing because I was just too curious and excited. Even when I did succeed I was so excited that I would end up right back in my physical body.

At least I succeeded at recognizing I could come into Union with myself whenever I wanted and that I have the capacity to expand beyond what I ever thought possible without any external help.

I will continue to work at surrendering to what feels very much like an invasion of my mind. This is the drawback of being fully awake and aware. The human response to the unknown is fear. I can’t help it and I won’t beat myself up over it. The first experience of this sense of invasion did not harm me. It was not scary. I was not “taken over” or “possessed”. I was there, observing and experiencing at the same time. Actually, the experience was truly awesome. I felt BIG, expansive and full of potential. But then I have always been an explorer, keen to jump into the unknown, to expand beyond the limits of this human experience; to Know.

Syncs

Ending this post with more syncs. Yesterday we got tons of rain in central Texas courtesy of Tropical Storm Gordon. On the way home from work my daughter was on the phone from home freaking out because it was raining so hard. We were very close to home but it was sunny. I looked out the window and saw it was pouring over our house in the distance. I took a photo and sent it to my daughter as proof. It was amazing to see.

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Later, we got caught in the storm as well but the blue sky could always been seen in the distance. It was really beautiful. It felt like the heaven’s were literally opening up over the top of me. Like it was saying it’s okay to let it all go.

On the way home in the rain a song came on the radio. My husband turned it up and I almost protested because it was rap. I am not a fan of rap but this one caught my attention because it was about opportunity. Yeah, there’s that word again! lol

Look, if you had, one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted. In one moment
Would you capture it, or just let it slip?

You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime…

You can do anything you set your mind to

Here’s the song:

So this song is playing while the heavens are opening up over the top of us. It was actually pretty awesome and put me in a really, really good mood. I felt awesome.

This morning another song presented itself. I noticed it because once again (like rap) it was out of my normal music preference. This time Spanish. lol I asked my husband what despacito meant. He said, “Slowy”. When I saw what the lyrics said I couldn’t help but laugh because this is the message I have been getting from my partner for a very long while – One step at a time. Slow but steady progress. This song makes me just want to dance. Again, “dance” is not a coincidence either.

Regardless of my lack of sleep, these are very exciting times and I am blessed to be alive in a human body experiencing them. Thank you God.

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Dreams, Signs and Syncs

More dreams, signs and syncs. Some interesting pushing by my guidance, I must say! Also, the exhaustion continues. I have been sleeping way more than usual (10+ hours a night) and am very tired by mid-afternoon. It is not the usual slam by the energies where I am flat-out, but is it noticeable….and welcomed.

I started this post two days ago so the first dreams are from the 22nd.

Dream: Warrant

I woke in the morning too early to rise so decided to go back to sleep. When I did I asked for help deciding what to do. I can’t seem to make up my mind about the yoga seminar this Fall. I want to go but then I hesitate to register. Back and forth. I’ve been waiting for some consistency in my feelings regarding this decision, but it has yet to arise.

I was a passenger (letting others make decisions for me) in a car driving in a big city somewhere. It felt like Houston but then all I recall are highways and the blur of lights. The man driving had dark hair and a big smile. He seemed familiar, reminding me of an old acquaintance of mine from long ago. This old acquaintance was a double Libra of foreign birth. He was being playful with me and both of us were in high spirits.

A man’s voice came up on the radio mentioning my husband’s name and the make and model of his car. They said he was wanted for something. I realized we were hearing police radio (unrest in subconscious). The man with me said, “You better warn him!” I picked up my cell phone and called my husband but the connection was spotty and he couldn’t hear me. I kept repeating, “You need to get off the highway. The police are looking for you. There’s a warrant (important decision being made) out for your arrest. Take side roads. Avoid the highway.” He finally heard me I think and the call was dropped (communication break).

Then I was in the car with my husband but the car seemed to not exist. Instead it was like we were floating in a bubble. We were looking for food and took a road leading to a cafeteria-like space with many restaurant (overwhelm) vendors. Cars were not allowed so when we drove in my husband had to back out and find a place to park. That left me inside with the other man who I had been with previously. He wanted Asian food and so we were walking around looking for some.

I stopped and spoke with a vendor. The woman told me they made various egg dishes, showing me two kinds. One was an egg souffle that had red sauce on top. It resembled a volcano. The other was an egg souffle (set course of action) that was opened up with spices inside. I told her I wanted the second one. I said, “I don’t have money. My husband is bringing it.” The woman set it aside. I could see the dish. The egg was split apart and had red spices coating the center.

Dream: Declaration of War

In this dream I was observing a royal couple. They had promised their daughter to a neighboring country. She was to wed their son. The couple was discussing this while preparing their daughter. I never saw the daughter and it seemed like she was me at times.

When the daughter was preparing to leave, the two royal (strength) couples were negotiating terms. I remember listening in while looking through a box of tampons (tension/aggression). I could see blood (emotional stress or tension) on some of them. It was like the box was a communication device. The woman on the other side of the box was the royal mother of the daughter. She and I spoke through the box, her giving me updates. There was one point when the box seemed to be full of blood. I could see blood dripping down the sides. This is when the mother told me that the other royals, specifically the mother, was acting strange and changing the terms of their contract.

Then I saw the other mother. She was tall, wearing a black and gold headpiece that reminded me of an evil character from a Disney movie (Snow White comes to mind). She gave an ultimatum, saying that she didn’t want to negotiate anymore. Her terms were simple, “Give us your country and lands or go to war (disorder or chaos).” I remember that the name of the country ruled by this evil woman was Mars. There was a sense that other “countries” were involved. Jupiter and Earth were mentioned.

Before we could respond, Mars was attacking. The scene shifted and I was on a highway (life, goals) hiding under an upturned truck (work) with a man. There was debris everywhere and shots were being fired to the point that the sky was full of explosions. None of the explosions harmed us, though. They just bounced off everything. I remember the man saying we couldn’t be hurt, that it was all for show.

Signs and Syncs

In addition to the dreams I’ve been getting some other messages. Firstly, I keep seeing frogs. In fact, when I woke up yesterday morning there was a frog picture laying by my door. Here it is:

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I ignored it initially but then while scrolling through FB I ran into multiple images of frogs posted by friends. One was an image of a tree frog with a butterfly sitting on its head!

Later, I saw the image of a frog in the tile on my bathroom floor just above the yin/yang symbol I had seen months prior. Weird!

And after that I was looking through a drawer for something and this was peeking out at me!IMG_2768

This frog drawing was done by my sister four years ago. Same kind of frog as in the other image – the red eyed tree frog.

By this time I already knew the frog was a message, so I looked up the symbolism. Turns out the frog comes around to help guide one through a life transition of some sort. The fact that two of the images I saw were red eyed tree frogs was interesting. What I have read indicates the red eyes help them see in the dark. So perhaps I am being advised to look to my intuition, uncover hidden aspects and take a closer look at something in my life?

The first image relays information about the call of the frog sounding like a baby rattle. My thought is to focus on the word “baby” here. I was recently told I was being reborn. Baby = rebirth. Connection made.

The second image was drawn by my sister when she was in prison. She often sent me drawings like this one (she is very talented). Her life has been a challenge since her release from prison. Her prison time coincided with the end of her marriage and other upheaval. When she was released she married our first cousin and they had a son together. This, as you can imagine, created family tension. However, she has found a sort of happiness with her new life, despite its challenges. So, this particular frog image could be indicating change and upheaval related to rebirth. At least that is my interpretation.

In addition to the frog message, I keep having reminders of the yoga seminar in Atlanta, Georgia. The on-again, off-again indecisiveness is bothering me. I am NOT normally so indecisive. I ask for help from my guidance. They give it. And keep giving it.

For example, in the midst of all the frog sightings I am doing this on-again, off-again crap in my mind over the yoga seminar. Out of the blue, on the tail-end of once again putting off a decision, I get a call from an unknown number. I rush downstairs to answer it but it is too late. When I check my phone I see this (but the missed call was the top one, I took the screenshot after another missed call):

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I get tons of phone spam as you can see. Most of them are from Austin (my area). It is not common to get one from another state, though it does happen. Yet from Atlanta, GA? At the exact moment I am thinking about the yoga seminar? Ha!

This is just the one reference to Atlanta that I documented, too. There have been numerous other ones. I keep shrugging them off.

The top thought I have is that all of this “coincidence” of signs is because I am thinking about the seminar. I think, “My thoughts are creating this. That’s all.” You know how when you buy a new car, all of a sudden you notice your new car is all over the place when before you swear you rarely saw it? Like that.

When I add the above dream “answer” to the symbolism and syncs it gets a bit unsettling. I can’t help but think the planets mentioned may play a part in this. Is there something going on with Mars, Jupiter and Earth this year that may create a tendency for “war”? Gawd.

More Dreams, Signs and Messages – Squirrels and Housecleaning

As time passed more dreams added to the increasing number of messages.

Squirrel Family Dream – June 23

I was next to a bed on the floor. There was a side table with something, plastic, poking out. I pulled it out and a tiny baby squirrel (hoarding or preparation for the future) came with it. It was not scared of me but wide awake and curious. It was looking for food so I gave it a tiny piece of fruit. It took it, still not afraid.

I showed the baby to others, tended to it and decided to take care of it long-term. I love squirrels and had them as a child so this is not a surprise.

Then I went back to the nest to check for other babies. When I tugged on the material from the nest a large mother squirrel came out. She was soaking wet (emotion). She saw me and turned around back to the nest. Then she came out with one of her babies in her mouth only it was fully grown. She communicated that she wanted me to take the baby with me. So, I led her to the other baby squirrel. Eventually she had brought out her whole family (preparation in regards to family future change), all the babies fully grown (maturity reached) except the one I found earlier. The mother squirrel was very grateful and thanked me telepathically for saving her and her family.

Squirrel Encounter

Yesterday (the day after the above dream), I went for a run. It was too hot and I got overheated so I rested under the shade of a tree. I heard a rustle and looked up. This is what I saw:

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Of course my dream came instantly to mind so I took this pic. The squirrel sat on that branch looking at me the entire time I rested there.

Squirrel symbolism is all about preparation for the future, family, communication and practicality. I find it no coincidence that I did not plan well for the run that sent me to the shade of that tree. I tend to not plan ahead but do things on the spur of the moment “just ’cause”. Had I been more future-oriented I would have gone on the run earlier and hydrated better. It seems like squirrel is trying to tell me, “Hey, if you plan ahead then you can avoid all-out war, emotional upheaval, etc. Think about it.” lol

I love squirrels!

Housecleaning Service Dream – June 24

In this dream I arrived at my apartment (financial or emotional state) and a woman dressed in a maid’s (dependence on others) uniform was there with her cart. Her uniform was baby blue and white. She had a partner who was at the neighbor’s apartment door about to go inside to clean it.

I greeted her and told her I had not been expecting her and to come inside. When inside I called out to my husband and children but no one answered. They weren’t home. I put my things down on the kitchen counter and went toward the back, lighting a cigarette (dependence on others, need for a break) as did so. I apologized to the maid, telling her I needed to go outside because of the cigarette. I told her it was good no one was home so they would not get in the way of cleaning. I put the cigarette out and then the butt fell to the ground. I apologized and she said, “We’ll handle it. No worries.” I still looked to make sure it was not going to start a fire.

I stayed outside as she went back in to clean (clear clutter and negativity from life, moving ahead to new stage) the apartment. In my mind I was thinking how nice it would be to have the place cleaned without lifting a finger. A nice, clean space appealed to me. I remember seeing in my mind a vacuumed floor and smiling.

The maid returned shortly after with the bill (something I have done is costing me). I looked it over and saw that they automatically charged our visa card. Upon further inspection I saw that there was a fee associated with this. $24 for a visa and the amounts went up for other cards. It was a rip-off and I asked the lady if it was possible for me to pay via check and stop the autopay service. I said, “My husband often uses the most convenient method to deal with things without looking at the fine print or considering the disadvantages. He seems to have done the same this time around. This fee is ridiculous!” She told me it would be fine to pay by check. I went inside and grabbed my checkbook out of my purse and wrote a check. I don’t recall the amount now but it was over one hundred dollars. I paused thinking it a high price but then completed the check realizing it was worth it. Note: Assuming this section is in reference to how others cannot handle things for me as well as I can and that I am willing to “pay the price” for making my own choices.

I surveyed my clean apartment. It was clean and organized. I could see the kitchen bar and the living area beyond. It was a nice place and felt like my home though in waking reality I have never seen a place like it.

I walked to the sliding glass doors and back out on the patio. I walked across a wide open patio deck (my connection with Self and nature) that was at least 40 feet across. It was elevated, at treetop level, with nice railings and there was a set of patio furniture toward the end overlooking the trees. I smiled, enjoying the spaciousness and saying aloud, “This would be the perfect place to do a yoga class! All I have to do is move the chairs.” I imagined the yoga mats spread out under the open sky and grew excited at the idea of teaching a class there. This part of the dream is full of wonder and possibility. I am elated, free and expansive.

As I turned to look behind me at the apartment I saw the apartment patio next to mine (another’s connection to Self). The same spacious patio extended from the back. In comparing mine to theirs I noticed their patio looked newer while mine had a few warped and sun damaged boards and looked older.

I turned back around, walking to the end of the deck and saw that there was a small, narrow bridge (connection made) with rails that extended off to the left. It led to a small room or house (extension of self). At first I assumed it was a storage shed but I could see a tiny kitchen and space beyond. Excited and curious to explore, I headed toward it but my dream ended before I could go inside.

Considerations

All the above dreams show my process right now. Not only does it seem like I am being prepared but I am also being told outright to “prepare”. I was even told not long ago that I had just been born and am now learning how to walk. Ha!

In the deck dream I was being shown my connection to my HS and the possibility it brings. Similar to the dream, my guidance continues to remind me of the experience I had in February and how I felt a surge of excitement about yoga – practicing and one day teaching it. I have been having dreams where I am practicing yoga even. lol In this particular dream I was very excited about teaching a yoga class outside on the deck. The apartment space was free of my husband and family, indicating a freedom from the burdens and responsibilities that go with them. I freed myself long enough to recall my excitement for yoga.

This morning a conversation ensued with my guidance about what I want. I struggle with motivation when it involves doing things that benefit or nurture myself. I am being asked to begin to do things for me, to pursue that which brings me joy and to stop waiting for others to give me permission to do so. When asked what I want I keep going back to that feeling of Divine connection and love. I want that in my life and in my partnership with another. Everything else just seems like piddling about in comparison. It is hard to find excitement about anything else.

My guidance reminded me that I have felt the excitement before, when I got my first teaching job. I was so high on life that I use to arrive at work early and leave late. I couldn’t wait to go to work. I am reminded of how afraid I was to take the steps it took to get me to that space in my life. I had to leave my marriage, the security it offered, and go it alone (OMG that was hard to do!). I had to apply for jobs and be rejected. I had to push past my fear of the unknown, my fear of failure, and use my degree as it was intended in a large high school with students who were taller and bigger than myself. In the end (and to my surprise) I connected easily with my students and found my purpose.

The lesson is that sometimes we have to step out into the unknown in order to let life show us ourselves. We can’t see it otherwise, especially if we stay in a situation out of fear, frozen and unable to move because we just don’t know what will happen. Afraid of losing what we have even though the unknown can bring us more than we could ever imagine.

For now I keep being pushed to go to the yoga seminar, to look into an internship and teach my first class. Similar to when I got my first teaching job, I will have to trust the path ahead and let it lead me to opportunity. If I never take the first step I will never know what awaits beyond the situation I am in now.

In my past I was seemingly “forced” to take the steps that led me to “freedom”. I was near suicide and it was only because a “voice” woke me and told me to go that I finally did leave. This time I am being given the chance to take steps on my own, without the “forced” feeling. In a sense it is harder because the urgency – the have to – is not there. I do not have to do anything.

There is also a part of me that prefers to lean upon another. I recognize this is not good. I need to rely upon myself. I need to find my purpose, that which brings me joy. My tendency is to take on the goals and purpose of my partner. The ideal scene is to have my own purpose and goals while being supportive of my partner’s. If I continue to put the needs/desires/goals of others over my own I will continue to feel unfulfilled and empty.

I have yet to purchase the seminar and secure my slot. The sense is that I have more lessons and inner work to do before I commit. Every day I am more certain, more clear, about what it is I am being asked to do but I cannot commit until I am 100% about the why behind my commitment. I can’t do this with any expectation attached. I have to go with an open heart and open mind, fully open to possibility.

Just going to that location will test me. I seem to have a strong pull to that general area but also I know people around there who I feel drawn to. Soul family. The last time I was in TN/GA I didn’t want to leave. It will likely happen again. I need to be prepared for the recurrence of emotion and connection that was there before. Being centered and strong in Self is the only way to navigate my way through.

No wonder I am so exhausted. 🙂

 

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More Sickness and Strange Dreams

Looks like the stomach bug is revisiting our household. 😦

I was awakened at 2am by my husband puking in the bathroom. He chose the bathroom closest to where I sleep for some odd reason. At 6am he was banging on my door and waking me up. When I asked why he said he wanted “attention” and “love” and wanted a hug. I wanted to be as far away as I could and so left. He opted to lay on my bed and contaminate it.

I do have sympathy for my husband but I am still sick with a lingering cold (the sore throat is back) and still have a yeast infection. The last thing I need is to have the stomach bug on top of that. As it is, I am probably screwed. The stomach bug has a very fast incubation period – 12-24 hours. It is also the hardiest virus you will come by. It takes bleach to kill it. I actually went over my house from top to bottom the last time we had it to make sure I got rid of it.

I am thinking that my husband picked it up at the neighbors house this weekend. He actually had no plans this weekend but when he happened to hear the neighbor was remodeling his bathroom he volunteered to help. Thus, he was gone all.weekend.long. Then, as if he hadn’t already done enough, he goes for an hour long run, comes home and tells me he volunteered to watch his brother’s three kids for the night. He takes all three of our kids over and watches six kids until 10pm.

This is how he operates. If he gets bored he finds something to do. Doing nothing is like his nemesis. He always finds something to do, then works his butt off, and as soon as he is done he collapses in a deep sleep. I often find him passed out on the sofa mid-day. Gemini to a T.

When I learned he had the stomach bug I was reminded of the messages I received in my dreams not long ago, messages that said I needed to fast for 24 hours before some big event happened. My first thought was, “I won’t be able to do that because I won’t know when.” Then I paused and thought, “Unless I get the stomach flu again….” So this morning I was thinking, “Oh hell no!” lol

My sore throat came back last night but only on the left side (weird). It isn’t that horrible but it’s annoying. Again I lounged around watching T.V. all day and doing practically nothing. My third-eye was buzzing on and off most of the day, too, which I found strange considering I am still sick.

I slept deeply and my dreams are hard to recall but I remember two.

Dream: Haircut

In the first I was face to face with a familiar man. I was going to get a haircut (fresh start) and this man was present on and off. I would just see his face and feel this unsettled, almost threatening energy. I remember discussing the haircut and seeing someone’s hair being slicked back and combed. I woke from this dream suddenly, wondering why the man felt so threatening when in other dreams his energy had been normal.

Dream: Witnessing Union

In the next dream I was watching a black woman and a black man laying naked in the middle of a shallow stream. They were making out and their bodies seemed to merge into one. All I recall now of the scene is one person with two faces – male and female. The entire time I was talking to someone but I can’t remember what was said.

After the “Union” between them was complete they remained one and the female spoke to me asking me to gather up keepsakes for this monumental event. I remember seeing what looked like test strips reminiscent of the ovulation test strips I use to use when trying to get pregnant with my middle child. I could see the long, white strips complete with yellow tips bundled in a cylindrical container. She was instructing me on what strips to keep. There numbers on them that seemed to indicate days of the month. I don’t remember all the numbers now but I do remember the number 4 and laying out two groups of 4 strips. My feeling was that she wanted to save these strips like I saved my positive pregnancies tests for each of my pregnancies – as memory of an important day/event. I laid them out and got a feeling that she had become “pregnant” but I knew she wasn’t really pregnant but rather that something “new” had been created.

As I left the couple, I went to the kitchen to continue preparations. This part of the dream is hazy but I remember my hair was wet and still full of shampoo (growth and new ideas). At one point I paused and leaned over the sink backwards, got my hair wet and then wrung it out (releasing old routines and considerations). My hair was long and dark and whoever was watching commented on how easily I was able to rinse the shampoo out. I also remember the sink was full of dirty dishes (unsatisfied with something) when I did this.

As I woke I heard, “11 days” and saw the 24th as the start of this time frame. It reminded me of the many messages I have received over the years that the 4th of July is my new birthday. 11 days from the 24th is the 4th of July.

Considerations

As I woke I was thinking of something completely unrelated to my dreams. My husband is planning on going on a road trip to New Mexico the weekend after the 4th of July. He wants me to go but I am not really wanting to go on a 15 hour road trip with everyone in our Mazda which has 90K miles on it. Plus, the last time I went on a trip with him to NM I was miserable and hardly slept the entire time. He wants to leave on the 6th or 7th and be gone until the next Monday or Tuesday. I suggested he stay longer because that amount of driving doesn’t make a lot of sense for that short of a stay.

So I was thinking of this and couldn’t help but recall that I had previously considered taking off on my own road trip after the 7th of July. I quickly pushed that from my mind, though, because I just don’t feel up to doing anything right now. I want my body to be healed and healthy! Yet a previously received message came to me, one suggesting that I would need time alone to heal. Again, I put it out of my mind. The feeling is that if I am meant to go somewhere to heal then I will know when and where and will just go.

The dreams I had suggest that some changes are on the horizon beginning around the 29th of June and completing around the 4th of July. These changes have to do with creating something “new”, tossing old ideas and coming into Wholeness.

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11101

Woke at 4:40am and couldn’t go back to sleep. Sigh. I had returning to work on my mind, too. Probably because I have to go back on Monday. 😦 So I wasn’t in a very good mood. It took me a while to relax and center in my heart but I only fell into the in-between, never sleep.

All day yesterday I was feeling this anticipatory energy. It bothered me because I couldn’t identify the source. The feeling was similar to that first day of school feeling. Nervous anticipation. I had to go shopping while I had this energy, so I did, but it followed met through the store. Despite the strangeness of it, people kept smiling at me, looking directly in my eyes, and talking to me. This is unusual so I noticed. I was with my youngest and focusing on him, smiling, joking around, so maybe that attracted their attention. Or maybe my Light was brighter than usual?

One old woman stopped me to talk to me about her grandson and how he was pretending to read, reading to her “Bras and panties” on a pretend sign he saw on the highway. lol She had a nice, gentle, grandmotherly energy and I could see her return to that memory like she was there when she told me. She even got up really close to me, nearly touching me, to tell me her story. 🙂

When I checked out, the energy began to dissipate. It was about 1pm that I sensed it settle. Then I heard the cashier say, “After your discounts your total came to $111.01.” That stopped me mid-sentence and I looked at the register and laughed. As I paid the bill I told her, “111. I see that number all the time. It follows me.” She said, “Really? That’s odd.” lol Not to me.

When I looked at the receipt later on I noticed that not only was the total showing tons of 1’s but the items purchased equaled 11 and so did the sale and total savings. Ha! 11 overload. Funny enough as I am writing this, I am reminded that as I left the store, receipt in hand, I noted the time was 1:01pm.

After that, the energy stabilized and I felt much better. Perhaps the energy was transitional which is why it felt so first-day-of-school-like. 🙂 Some people, like me, get nervous with transitions, while others, like the old lady, are old pros at them and may even look forward to the change they bring.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with an old friend. Our second visit this week. Our two little ones played while our husbands took the older ones to an outdoor family recreation center. So, we got to chat with less distraction – no distraction once our little ones both took naps. 🙂

My energy soared during the visit. It was so nice. Unfortunately, my energy plummeted by evening.

Time is on Your Side

So back to this morning. When I woke in a sour mood and struggled to return to my heart, this song was in my head, specifically: “Time is on your side, it’s on your side now. Not pushing you down and all around, it’s no cause for concern.” Love Coldplay.