So the long anticipated 11-11-11 is today. How do you feel? I feel normal. Yesterday I was high on life. Today a little less high but not low either. Neutral. It feels once again like a transition period, a flowing from one condition or state to another. Perhaps this is the very definition of “portal”? It seems fitting to me anyway.
I was told not along ago in a dream that 11-11-11 was the date of a “convergence”. At the time I had no idea what it meant and even speculated that perhaps it was for 2019 because in the dream the calendar I saw seemed to be a year in the future. Today, though, I’ve concluded that this convergence is the converging of timelines; a reconstitution of what was with what IS. For me, personally, this has been experienced by taking what was good and real/true from the past and pulling it forward to merge with this present timeline. All those things from the past that I’ve held onto or that have been destructive, have been laid to rest. I choose what I keep and discard, of course. We all do.
The method of deciding what to keep and discard came from looking at things that were painful to me and finding the source/truth behind that pain. Why am I still hurting? Is it based upon a lie? When I inspect it using my heart as my microscope, what do I see?
Surprisingly I discovered the basis of it all was the same as it had always been. It remained unchanged and solid despite my wanting to disassemble it with doubt. I could close off my heart and pretend it was all a dream but that didn’t make it so. It just meant it was hidden, faked out until my heart protested so loud I could not ignore it any longer.
The True Self always shines through no matter how much it is buried. The heart cannot be killed, only injured. Wounds can be healed. And the song on my mind this morning echos this message: “We’re not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again”.
The Nature Remedy
Yesterday was a really good day for me. As I have mentioned recently, this crazy all-over-the-place energy seems only to respond to one treatment – nature. I have been feeling called outside since the end of October and yesterday was no different. So I went for a trail run and spent about two hours immersed in nature. I encountered few other humans (four hikers and a mountain biker) and at least a dozen deer.
It was eerily silent on the trail. So much so that when I stopped and just listened it would trigger a tiny panic inside that was fueled by imaginings of getting lost, hurt or worse and not able to get help. When I looked at the panic I realized it came from my past trips into the Rockies in Montana. The sounds on the trail in the present mimicked those past experiences so much that it transported me to the past. Of course, the hill country of Texas is nothing like Montana and it was easy to laugh off. Instead I relished the familiarity of being surrounded by nature and feeling small and powerless to the elements/wildlife rather than in control of them. It is humbling but beautiful because with acceptance you feel One with it all, which is how it is suppose to be.
It was so enjoyable that I daydreamed about spending the entire day on the trail. It felt so much more aligned with who I am than getting back in my car and driving to suburbia!
Here are some pictures from the trail. It was overcast and cold (49°). When I got to the car I looked like I had been in a fight with a tree and lost. Hair a mess and filled with tiny needles from cedar trees (junipers). LOL
I spent the remainder of the day after this trail run laying around and recuperating. 8 miles of running will do that. 🙂 The tiredness sent me to bed early and led to a dreamless sleep. However, I did have some conversations with my partner/guide upon waking. I need to share a previous dream for them to make sense, though.
Dream: Garage Room (11/09/18)
This dream is fuzzy now. In the beginning I saw a row of corn (domestic bliss and harmony) that stood as tall as a person. It lined the edge of a garden. I remember noticing a large mustard plant (success and wealth) growing where a corn plant should be. I mentioned to someone that it looked like a weed but rather than pull it, I looked closely at it, noting how it was flourishing. I didn’t want to pull a plant that was doing well unless it was hindering the growth of the corn, which it wasn’t.
Near the garden I saw a downed fence (barriers/obstacles) and heard a dog barking (grumpiness, disgruntled companion) persistently on the other side of it. I went to investigate and saw a standard poodle (upper class attitude) chained (feeling retrained) to a post. It was barking so ferociously that it broke the chain (released) and came running at me. I wasn’t afraid, though, and let it yip at my feet. The owner of the dog had come out and was watching from the stoop of her house. I thought it odd that she would just let the fence lay there on the ground and not do something to fix it so that her dog could be contained.
The dog quieted and licked my hand (protection, fidelity) as I walked toward the woman. She took me inside the house (self) and I saw that it was very small, like one bedroom. I could see all the rooms from the center of the house. Through the window I could see that the house had a very small yard and was positioned in such a way that it was at the end of a dead-end street. The woman said that the yard was maintained by the subdivision and that her husband only had to tend to the small patch of grass where the dog had been.
I noticed a den (work, efficiency) along the side of the living room (boundary between public and private self). It had closet (keeping something hidden) doors on it and on the other side was the laundry room inside the bathroom (cleansing). I remember thinking it big enough to be considered a second bedroom (private self, sexual nature). Inside the den there was a strange ledge. I was told it was to allow for the parked car in the garage. I realized the room was actually part garage (inactivity, idleness, feeling lack of direction) and not big enough to be a bedroom after all.
Vision and Message
When I woke this morning and had no dream memories I lingered in bed for a while. My partner in Spirit was close and reassuring me that what I want will manifest. As we talked I fell into the in-between. I was running along a dirt trail when I came upon a field of mustard in bloom. Underneath the tall mustard grass I could see old, gray tombstones – a cemetery. Seeing this brought me out of my reverie quickly. My guide told me that he was there to help; that he wanted me to have what I want in life and was there to help it manifest. It was reassuring to me to have him so close, to know I am not alone.
To dream of being in a cemetery symbolizes the end to a habit or behavior; the experience of a rebirth. It can be sadness, unresolved grief and/or fear of death, too. The feeling of this particular cemetery was that something is being “put to rest”.
Mustard symbolizes success and wealth. This is in contrast to the dream (above) where there was just one mustard plant blooming alongside rows of corn. It seems the success part is growing exponentially.
Alongside the cemetery symbolism, the message seems to be that when something is put to rest – dies – something new can be born. This something new, symbolized by the mustard plants, bring success. That is a message I am glad to receive! I am not sure what is “dying” here, though, but most certainly it is related to the past.
Living Life in Between 