Yesterday I got my permanent crown. It was a simple procedure that didn’t require numbing but I asked for it anyway just in case. Not sure if it was the Novocaine or what but afterward I got really tired. So tired that ended up dozing off a little later on in the day. I am not one to take naps so for me to doze off mid-afternoon is unusual, especially being I was not in my own home at the time!

Throughout the nap I had conversations and felt to be somewhere else. I remember telling someone something about it being the “end” more than once but the context of it is lost to me now. I only remember it startled me awake.

Dream: Biting Baby

I had a busy night full of dreams. This has been the norm for over a week now and though I have posted some of them here, most never get mentioned. There have been some dream symbols repeating themselves : helicopters, dogs, and water to name a few.

One particular dream woke me in tears in the middle of the night last night. It began quite spectacularly. I was with a man and we were riding some kind of unearthly animal. I never saw the animal but if I had to give it a name it would be a landstrider like from the Dark Crystal. It was very rabbit-like and could move swiftly but it also was very, very tall. So tall that me and my friend were miles above the earth. I was thrilled.

The next thing I recall is seeing this little baby (something about self that is vulnerable and pure). It had been neglected or something because it would try and bite (childishness, anger) everyone viciously. Eventually it had to be handed over to a dark skinned young man I called, “Derrick”. The young man took the baby in his arms, it bit him and he ignored it, kissing it over and over again and cradling it to him. I said, “Thank you, Derrick” and turned and walked away. I became very distraught and began to sob. It felt like the baby hated me. I continued to cry so hard that it woke me up.

Dream: Give Them a Chance

In this dream I was with a group walking through a mall/outlet store (choices and options in life) that was near empty. We entered into a store and there was food set out. I remember talking with family about Christmas presents. Certain family members and friends still don’t have gifts and I am not sure what to get them. I tend to leave the gift buying to my husband but he has yet to buy them gifts.

At one point there was a buffet (a relationship is consuming too much of my energy) of food – hummus, crackers (caring for needs of others over my own), cheeses and such. As I began to fill my plate someone said something to me who was friends with my husband and in-laws. I was very abrupt with him, much more than I would normally be to the point of meanness. At the time there was another woman there who pulled me to the side. While she was talking to me I saw a very old chalkboard (there is a lesson to be learned from this dream) that was an antique and very special. She asked me to consider something. She said, “Since you have to spend so much time with ‘these people’ (as in the group of friends of my husband/in-laws), don’t you think you should give them a chance?” I paused and considered what she was saying. In the dream it was like time stopped at this point and a huge spotlight (feeling overlooked in life) was shining on me.

Dream: Haunted School

I was walking the halls of a mansion (my greatest potential/growth) that was also a religious school (lessons). Inside were many young children (youth, playfulness, potential). I remember going into a room and helping with a geography (travel/movement) class at one point but I did not work there.

I felt very tired (not wanting to acknowledge something) throughout the dream and kept finding places to sleep. There were beds situated everywhere it seemed and I crawled into one that was occupied by a young boy with special needs. Odd things kept happening, though, like toys being moved and water flooding areas where there had not been water before.

I moved to another room to find some peace and quiet and got into bed (bed, peace and quiet, rest). While there I was awakened by a presence. Realizing it had to be a ghost (something is no longer attainable) I began to speak some kind of warding spell or something. I saw a crib (nurturing side) in the corner of the room and noticed an arm (nurturing ability) with no body. Whatever I said made it go away. It was at this point in the dream that I was certain the school was haunted (unfinished emotional business).

Opting to leave the room I headed down the hallway and in a corner sitting in a rocking chair (ease, comfort, relaxation) was a haggard old woman (inner feminine, wisdom). She had glowing eyes and gray, wispy hair. She pointed her finger at me and her face lit up in a grotesque smile. Unafraid I went straight up to her and said some words and put my hand up as if to ward her off. I can’t recall what happened next but there was no fear from the dream.

Dream Snippets and Messages

Several mini-dreams interwoven into the other dreams.

In one I was sitting in the back seat of a car. It was night and in the front seat were two very large Mexican men speaking Spanish. They felt like bodyguards to me and I was listening intently to what they were saying. I interrupted the man driving and repeated back to him the English translation of what he said. I can’t remember it now but I was excited that I understood every word he said. We talked a while in English and Spanish, practicing our languages on one another.

I was in a room in a high-rise. Behind me in the window I saw a big, black helicopter hovering. It felt ominous, like it was after me. Feeling stalked by a helicopter means I feel I am pursuing other peoples’ goals rather than my own.

In yet another snippet I was in a gym (applying lessons learned) and the weights I was using fell apart (something not going as planned). Then I was seeking out my sister’s Jeep (be more active in life) and it began to drive itself. I got control of it and then walked my bird (goals, aspirations, hopes) to where my sister was. The bird was on a leash (restricted) and tired itself out to the point of exhaustion. When I took it to a shallow fountain to refresh itself it morphed into a very tiny, Chihuahua (insecurity).

There was a comic book text bubble that formed in my vision. It said in large, comic book text: GOODBYE. This particular snippet was after the haunted school dream.

In another vision I saw a chain with seven links and was asked if I was ready to end this life. I replied that I was but I knew it was unlikely that “end” meant what I wanted it to.

Finally, I saw myself going up a hidden staircase (higher levels of understanding) to a room in the attic (connection to my Higher Self). I had locked a dog (protection) inside the room. I told whoever I was with that no one could use the stairs but me, only I had the key (access) to go up. However, my husband (masculine aspect) could use the stairs to leave and go down.

Considerations

I’ve been having a strange feeling for several days now. It is a familiar feeling like something is about to happen; anticipatory. I keep finding myself focusing on Spirit to receive a message but never consciously receive anything. It’s like someone is saying, “Heads up!”

My dreams indicate an ending is approaching but what kind of ending is hard to say. There was a feeling this morning while I was in the in-between receiving all the odd messages and dream snippets that my healing period or whatever I have been going through is coming to an end. I am being “released” from treatment. It felt like I had been checked into a mental hospital and got my release papers. In fact, I have a vague memory of actually talking to a woman and getting my discharge papers but cannot place it as a dream or even an experience.

I’m not sure what the “Goodbye” was all about but it is the most vivid memory of the night. Goodbye could be confirmation that my healing guides/bodyguards are departing and leaving me to my path. As always the feeling is one of finality, like I will die any minute. Since I’ve had this feeling so many times now I know it is unlikely that my physical death is on the horizon.