I continue to have difficulty falling asleep and getting a good sleep overall. This has been on-going since before Covid-19 hit mid-March. Some days I will get sleep that is good and solid, but mostly not.

Last night I felt a distinct shift in the energy. When for weeks I have had little to no communication from my guidance, last night I did. It came in the form of energy hugs and messages without words and I knew I would get a good sleep.

Dreams

I had many dreams and woke once in tears.

The first dream I recall was set outside on a rocky slope. I was with my daughter and we were walking along a dirt path to a bus stop (temporary setback in life). I was wearing sandals (life path) and felt like I use to as a child – hopeful and looking forward. Recognizing I may need better shoes, I went back to get my tennis shoes and then carried them a bit before placing them on the side of the path. As we walked we talked and I was in high spirits. As the time for the bus to arrive grew near I remembered I needed my tennis shoes and realized I would not be able to get them in time. So, we walked a ways to the bus stop, down the hill and a bit further, past where the bus normally stopped. When we got to a certain point it was like we triggered a switch and a small hill covered in shrubs to our right burst into flame (passion, intensity). There was a distinct pause here as I recognized the “switch” being triggered (perhaps a fire will be triggered). Each plant became a burning bush. One began to char. I was unconcerned and let them burn.

In another dream I was in a stadium full of people looking for a place to sit. I soon realized no one had on shoes and for some reason I was very put off by the bare feet (others’ path, following another path) all around me. I shifted and tried to avoid contact with people and even asked some to move over. Someone asked me why I was so bothered by bare feet. I mentioned they were gross, smelly and just dirty. As I talked about my upset I began to cry and burst into tears over the prospect of so many bare feet.

Then I was in another time period and place. It was like a scene from a wild west movie. I was with a young boy (masculine aspect) who desperately needed new clothes (ones outward appearance). At this time there was something about arranging four cocklebur plants (annoyances) in an area and planting them. This caused me to become emotional but did not wake me. Eventually I helped the young man, taking him to a shop to get fitted for new clothing which consisted of knickers, a shirt and a leather satchel. I remember thinking it was quite expensive and hoping he did not want me to buy him a whole wardrobe.

The scene shifted and I was in a strange house sitting on the floor beneath a dresser or cabinet. It felt like something was crawling on me so I looked up and saw the biggest millipede (unwilling to confront something) I had ever seen. I withdrew in fear until I realized it was dead and mummified. I then noticed the front door to my house was open and went in to investigate. I yelled to the intruder to get out but then realized the house was being cleaned (healing). I was asked to help pull a sock (major life disappointments) out of a vacuum and the lady took it to clean.

Messages

When I woke a song was in my head:

The song quickly turned into another song and with it came a memory of the movie it went with – Into the Wild. I thought of the story line and what happened in the end, how the poor man must have felt as he lay dying all alone. I didn’t know why memory of this movie came to me but now see it fits in with a bigger message.

Then I saw this memory on my FB feed. Something I posted in 2013:

First I was dying to finish high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.
And then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough
so I could get back to my career.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now I am dying…
and suddenly realize that I forgot to live.”
– Author unknown

See the message now?

Cockleburs

It may seem odd, but cockleburs have been a message for a while now. I had a dream a while ago, maybe a week or more now – you can read the post here. Almost daily since posting that dream I have seen memes and other references to cockleburs online. If you don’t know what a cocklebur is, it is a very annoying, large sticker that gets easily embedded in things. They are almost impossible to get out.

In one of the above dreams, seeing the cocklebur plants causes me to burst into tears. The feeling I had when I woke from this dream was of hopelessness and overwhelm. The message this symbol brings is that I am dealing with issues that are annoying and they are not easily resolved. Nothing I do seems to make them go away so I tend to just live with the issues/annoyances. The fact that this symbol continues to reappear indicates just how upset I am by these issues in my life.

In this time frame I have been having quite a bit of stress related to life foundations and my stability. This has mostly passed but the physical side-effects have been eczema, which I tend to get when I have high stress. Similarly, loss of sleep tends to accompany stressful periods in my life.

I will leave you with a flash of a vision I had of myself just now: I saw myself walking on a path wearing tan colored clothing that was full of cockleburs. Ha!