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A Voice and a Lesson

This has been an interesting day. It has really been pretty boring and mundane all in all…….except that I have had communication from my Team or someone from my Team most of the day. Along with this communication has come learning and information that was unexpected.

Lesson: Management of Thought

The day seems to have been an entire lesson on the workings of the human mind, or at least my human mind anyway.

It all began when a little voice interrupted my doubtful or negative thoughts. I recall the exact moment when I first recognized I was being spoken to. I had considered just selling all of my sewing kits and then throwing in the towel. “It’s too much work” was the last thing I thought.

The voice said, “Follow it through. Remember your intention (memory triggered) and go there. Persistence. Be the moment”.

Silence followed as I absorbed what I was told and recalled the image in my mind from the exact moment when I had the idea to start my business. This “image” was important. I needed to continually refer to that memory and then let it be the last thing I think about, tossing out all doubts and disappointments.

There was more. I was told to push past the pitfalls. Nothing is accomplished without a little elbow grease. Greatness is achieved not by those who know all but by those who seek to know what they do not.

I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln specifically. Try, try, try again. Build upon the knowledge you gain. Push past the failures. Ride over the bumps.

Throughout the day, I kept wanting to go back to the dismal thinking, the “woe-is-me” attitude. I honestly don’t know why I kept doing this. I was told it was because I thought it was what I was suppose to do. Interesting.

This continued on and off all day. The more it happened, the less I fell into the depressing, defeatist views and the more I focused on the moment.

When I noticed my mind was clearing, I heard the voice again. “Imagine complete clarity”. He let it settle in. It was hard to imagine but I think I got the gist of it. He continued saying, “That is how you will be”.

Now that I have time to reflect on today, I recognize that I was being taught about how my mind works and how to control it. I was being shown how to manifest by focusing back on my original intent rather than allowing myself to go off the path into doubt and fear. In the moments when I was being spoken to, I felt as both the experiencer and the observer at the same time. Very similar to some of my OBEs.

The Voice

There was always a feeling that accompanied this voice. The feeling was similar to how a student feels when their teacher is asking them questions in front of the class or teaching them something one-on-one. But it was not a feeling of subservience or of being any less than the teacher. It was more of a reverence; an understanding that I was hearing wisdom and needed to absorb as much of it as I could.

When I asked who the voice was, I got a very complicated name that I have lost now. It was definitely not a name I have ever heard in this life. What is funny is that as soon as I heard it I said, “Oh yeah. I’ll never get that one”. I knew it was pointless to even try to remember it. So I didn’t.

Regardless of who this voice belongs to, I know he is male and I know that he is one of my mentors. The sense I got was that he has come ahead of something else – as if he is preparing me for something that is to come. The closest thing to the feeling I got with him around me was from this past May. I have been asking for that to return. Perhaps something like it is coming?

And he is still here, though currently much more silent. His arrival was preceded by strong crown chakra this morning. This is also similar to how things began in May.

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New Awareness – Embracing Multiple Me’s

Last night I once again did the pyramid visualization meditation before bed. This time, however, the pyramid began to spin very quickly to the right. I did not intend this, just saw it happening. It then slowed and I began to drift into the in-between.

New Awareness

I don’t know what I did in the in-between. It is like I have amnesia. I recall pictures and conversations occurring, similar to a light dream state, but that is all. What I do remember is suddenly opening my eyes and coming back to full awareness. When I did this I felt energy come in from both my left and my right. What is crazy about this is that I recognized the energy as me. In fact, I recognized it as distinct pieces of me coming in from somewhere outside of me.

At first I was nervous about it because the energy was so intense. When it returned to me it felt like it added something to me; like I grew larger because of it, but not in a bad way. The thought crossed my mind that I had just taken on another Spirit; that Spirit was piggybacking on me. Yet there was a calmness that remained with me and those thoughts just dissolved as if they were “nothing of note”.

It was then that I Remembered, or maybe I was told and it seemed like a memory, that I had been practicing in previous nights over the last week or so how to control my energy, or “essence” may be a better word. It is complex and something far above my human comprehension, but it is something my heart understands. In fact, when I Remembered these “sessions” I felt assured that whatever I just experienced was not to be feared but to be embraced. I was re-learning an important skill that had been lost.

The feeling of being “broken up” and then reconstituted was the beginning stages of these lessons. Now instead of feeling hundreds of pieces I feel only a few. What is most interesting is that in these few I recognized them to all be me. It was like I could transfer into any of them and have a different perspective, similar to the OBE where I met myself and did exactly that.

Visions and Dreams

In my sleep and in-between states after that I received messages, some not so good by the looks of them.

Recruits

In one in-between flash of a vision, I was presented with a long list. The top of the list had the title, “Recruits”. As I read it, I woke fully from my reverie and was a bit startled. I had an instant memory of the messages I had received about there being spiritual soldiers sent to Earth to help. Was this that list of soldiers?

Burning Earth

I awoke from a disturbing semi-lucid dream. I clearly recall being embraced in silken-looking, translucent white wings or petals. They wrapped around me and I called them by a name which I cannot remember now. They were not connected to a person, but appeared to be part of a system of transport into space. In fact, I was floating in space and looking down at Earth. Except Earth was not its normal beautiful green and blue with swirls of white. No. This Earth appeared to be molten lava, a swirling mass of red and black. It was horrifying yet I was not horrified.

Rescue Capsule

I had a detailed dream in which I was a teacher with students. The students had discovered a room and gone into it without permission. I found them and went inside this room. Yet when I went inside, the room was not a room at all but a tall, cone-shaped capsule with stairs that spiraled upward. The student had gone up the stairs and I had to get them down. I explained that this capsule was only for use in emergencies. It was meant to evacuate and not a playground. I was very serious but the students were not.

I remember the capsule very clearly. It was made of a silver metal and there was paneling, some of which contained controls and buttons. I remember when I looked up the stairs that it was not time to go “up”, yet that going up those stairs meant freedom, or at least something better than what was down below.

butterflySo Many Questions

My third-eye continues to blaze, though not all day now. It seems to come on suddenly without warning, and then tones down.

There is also ear ringing that comes on suddenly as well. Last night I had ear ringing and distinctly felt the presence of Spirit to my left. She knelt down and put her hand on my left arm and asked, “Do you see me?” I told her, “No. I’m sorry. I can only feel you”. I did not try to continue the conversation for I was about to meditate and did not want the distraction.

All these strange changes and energy experiences have left me with so many questions. I don’t understand what is happening and I want to know. I ask questions in meditation and then I have the strange visions and dreams. I was told that I needed to be able to transfer 50% of myself into something, what it is I am not sure. I saw it, but forgot most of it as I became startled by it. However, this transfer of Self is why I am practicing the manipulation of my essence (can’t really adequately describe it).

I am surprised I have not convinced myself that I am crazy with all this going on. I am actually fascinated, especially by the experience I had last night of being three me’s all at once. It felt so natural and normal – yet it wasn’t, at least not to this part of me.

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A Conversation with Robert

Yesterday, I kept thinking all day that I need to sit down and open up communication with my guide, but I couldn’t. My kids interrupt too much and I could not get my mind to settle. I’m thinking non-stop about my business and what I need to do. And when I’m not thinking about that, I am tending to my children’s needs and what I need to do for them.

Yet I knew that there needed to be a still time; a quiet time to Receive. I tried. Honestly I did, but when I did there was always an interruption. 😦

I knew that the information I was to receive was about the New human form. The human of the future. My curiosity was peaked.

When I read The Convoluted Universe Book 1 last night, it just so happened that the chapter I was reading was about this New human. It said the New human would not be physical like we are now, but we would have form and shape and be somewhat solid. Interesting.

A Conversation with Robert

Last night and this morning I was closely tended to by a guide I am not familiar with, at least not consciously. When I felt him last night, there came with him wave upon wave of loving energy. It came up from the base of my spine and then spread out with such a loving warmth that I could not ignore him or it.

When I awoke, he was there and very close. I could see him fairly clearly, especially his smile. And he radiated a feeling that made me smile. I cannot help but smile and almost giggle from his energy. It’s my favorite part about him.

He gave me a name – Robert – and I could not, still cannot, remember him no matter how hard I try. We talked for quite a while about the things that have been going on. He reminded me that everything I had been reading in the Convoluted Universe had already been given to me. I recognized this as true. This includes but is not limited to the information I have been given about “the end of times”, DNA alterations, merging with the Higher Self, ascension, the Shift, and even the ETs.

All of these things were written in the book but came after I had already received information. It is as if the book was meant to be confirmation of what I had received.

Yet it is still hard to believe and so I asked many questions of Robert. Who is he? Are the ETs real? Will there really be a New human, a New Earth, and a “rapture”?

His explanation of who he is makes sense. He said he is a part of me sent to assist me. He is me yet he is not. My Higher Self sent him to assist. He is my Remembering so to speak.

When I asked if the ETs are real, I hear they are but they aren’t. The not-realness has to do with them not being a part of this physical universe. Their realness is consciousness. Their involvement is via consciousness, via the part of us that is not physical. This is the best I can describe what I was given. I was asked in return, “Does it really matter who they are?”

And I replied, “No, it doesn’t”. And the subject was dropped.

When I asked about the New humans, I was told this is an evolutionary process. The information in the book I am reading is where we are headed, but it will take time and the process is much slower than the book relates. All matter of the physical universe is changing, evolving. This is the way it was meant to be. It was created to evolve.

The “rapture” is not as it is written in the Bible. It is not to occur at the physical level. It is a purely spiritual process, one that is individual.

The experiences I have brought back with me from my time OOB and in-between are symbolic representations of what has actually occurred. To see what truly occurred would be incomprehensible to the human mind. It must be surpassed to truly Know. Because of this, it is best to focus on the feeling of the experience rather than the symbolism.

We discussed at length my struggles in this life, specifically that it seems time goes by so slowly and it takes so long to get what I want. I wondered why it took me so long to get to this level of awareness, why did it take so many lives?

And with that last question I quickly reviewed my last three lives and saw very clearly that I was incorrect in thinking that I just now became aware. I have had the awareness, this connection with my Higher Self, much longer than just this life. It has always been there. And I saw it. I remembered it. I remember feeling the homesickness in my life in Mississippi as a black woman. I remember this awareness in my life in the Midwest when I was molested and emotionally abused by my father.

I remember this awareness in the very beginning of this life and I saw just how very different from my family I am. I was born into a family that is not mine in Spirit. I was born with awareness, with a deep connection to my Higher Self, to the All. They were not. No wonder I felt so different from them.

It made me sad but at the same time it humbled me. There is so much I do not know consciously, yet I can feel so much of what I know if I just tune in.

Robert continued to remind me of my progress. His smile and the feeling of joy that he brings is so lovely. I am grateful to have been given his assistance.

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Pyramid Meditation and Experience

As predicted in a message I received over a week ago, the 20th brought about yet another strange energy experience.

Pyramid Meditation

I have been reading Dolores Cannon’s Convoluted Universe Book 1 and am nearing the end of it. In one of the chapters there is discussion about how to balance chakras using a pyramid to help funnel the energy into the solar plexus which then balances out one’s whole energy system. This was in conjunction with information on how to manifest in the physical.

Since I had just read about it, I decided to try it as I did my nightly meditation.

The directions are simple:

Relax in your normal meditative position (mine is laying down with head propped on pillow).

Focus on your third-eye chakra while envisioning yourself laying in the center of a giant pyramid. Position yourself 1/3 of the way from the bottom, or base, of the pyramid.

When I did this, I immediately went into the in-between. I mean immediately! There was no time of clearing my mind or deep breathing. As soon as I saw myself inside the pyramid I went elsewhere. I don’t know where I went, but I went fast. So fast that I had this strange energy seemingly come at me with such force that I immediately came back from wherever I had been thinking, “What the hell!?”

The energy was that same energy as I had the night of this blog post. BUT this time the energy was not scary and did not shake me up. It felt more normal and balanced, like I had gained control of it somehow.

It is the oddest energy I have ever felt and I have felt some pretty weird energy! It felt like I was in a million pieces and then converged back into one whole piece. It’s like I am shattered, splitting into different aspects of myself and then reassembled.

The majority of the energy sensation was centered around my head this time. So this may be why I was less shaken.

Explanation

Of course, upon coming out of this strange experience, I went back to the pyramid meditation. This time there was no immediately departure but I think it is because I was looking for the experience. I did have an odd energy traveling through my body. What is interesting is that it did center around my solar plexus!

I requested an explanation but rather than a direct answer, I ended up going elsewhere again.

The memory of what occurred is mostly lost to me now. Again, it was like it was siphoned off before I had a chance to remember it in full. What I do remember is going from one “Me” to another; back and forth, back and forth. I also recall not being alone but having a man with me who was completely white. I don’t remember details of his face but I remember he had human form and facial characteristics.

The energy that went with this movement between “Me’s” is what brought me back to my body. I checked the clock and it was 10:30pm. I had expected much later as I had settled into meditation at 9:40pm. So the time from my pyramid experience to waking from the next experience was less than an hour!

When I finally came back to full, physical body awareness I remember seeing the White man. He was standing next to a smaller White person. They reminded me of statues they were so still. This visual actually shocked me enough to cause me to completely forget what immediately preceded the vision.

Mostly what I recall is the feeling of moving. It was the same strange energy of breaking apart and reassembling. What is odd is that I did not have fear and it felt like it was systematic – go to point A, then B, then C  and then repeat. Could the pyramid have caused this strange movement?

Messages

I returned to sleep but woke several times in the night, each time thinking I had slept longer than I had.

I had several messages during this time:

The number 6 repeated itself. Angel number 6 has to do with maintaining balance between spiritual and physical.

The number 114 repeated itself enough to wake me up, the number still very clear in my mind. Angel number 114 says that if one uses caution and wisdom they will be successful in business and money matters and life in general. This goes well with my thoughts from last night as I kept thinking of my business.

Dream: Slaughtered Cats

Upon waking the last time this morning, I recalled a vivid dream in which I was inside a mobile home cooking dinner. The stove wouldn’t work and the bread was stale. I was with an old man whom I was suppose to marry. He kept asking me what boy’s names I liked, as if we were going to have a baby.

I left, feeling weird about the whole thing, and as I left saw that the house was made of glass and had a specific entry and exit separated by glass.

When I went out of the home, there was a maze-like walkway with walls waist high. The first thing I saw was carnage and fur. Upon closer inspection it was massacred cats. Some were still alive but they were eating the dead cats!

I walked past the cats and went into a hallway that turned into a school. I remember meeting up with some people and telling them, “It’s safe. I made it that way” and seeing all kinds of tarps and posters up in the halls. Though I couldn’t read them, I knew they had messages or invocations that made it safe.

I’m not sure what the dream implies but it was very odd. I have never seen slaughtered cats like this. Most of them were black, too. Maybe I am overcoming some bad luck? 🙂

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Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

As I meditated last night, I asked to either astral project or lucid dream. I knew instantly it would happen and was pleased. It has been a long time since I have done either.

Lucid to OBE: Holding My Hand

I woke in the early morning hours. It was still dark outside so rather than get up I rolled over on my left side and focused on my third-eye which was buzzing with energy. I had many thoughts in my mind making it difficult to relax. I remember hearing that I needed to relax and clear my mind.

The next thing I knew I was very aware of laying in my bed spooning with another person. I could feel their body snug up against mine and it was comforting.

I knew instantly I was OOB because this person I was with was not my husband (he was already awake). There was an electrical energy that was present which also alerted me to this fact.

My mind was a swirl of thoughts – communication between myself and another which I cannot remember now but I know was occurring. I felt a large, masculine hand reach out and gently take my hand. I felt my fingers interlace between his and squeeze. I was not alone.

The act of holding hands caused my awareness to peak and I began to look around and try to gather information about where I was. Unfortunately, all I saw was a gray, shifty haze that seemed to jump if I focused upon it. I was able to recognize I was not in my own bedroom. Where was I?

I felt the familiar pull back to my body and the energy seemed to hit me with more force than usual. I felt my body and knew I could return, so I withdrew from the front of my mind and fell back into thoughtlessness.

colors dropplet ripples waterReturn

Again, I could feel myself spooning with this man but I was also aware that there was another person in bed with me, a female. I did not spoon with her but kept thinking that the man and the woman were people who I converse with online. I called them by name and talk to them as if they were there but I did not see either of them. Why I did this, I am not sure but I remember thinking that I needed to tell them I had been with them while OOB.

These thoughts occurred simultaneously with other thoughts, thoughts that were conversations with someone else. I was being reminded to observe and to allow the experience to show me what I needed to see.

I could feel my awareness increasing and decreasing. It ebbed and flowed as I tried to maintain a balance, one that would allow me to remain the observer and not take too much control of the experience. I recall in one heightened moment of lucidity that I could feel the body spooning with me with such intensity that I momentarily forgot I was OOB and thought it was real. This made me too lucid and I had to fight to gain control of myself to remain OOB.

Eventually, I got up out of the bed and began to explore my environment. My vision was still shifty and all gray so I knew I needed to raise my vibration. I began to sing as I flew toward the front of a familiar house. I believe I was in a house I use to share with my ex-husband when we lived in college housing in Montana! I could see the door ahead of me and there was light shining through the windows. I knew if I could get there that I could free myself of this heavy environment.

There was then a recognition that I had done something wrong. I had taken control of the the experience when it was made clear that my only job was to observe it, to allow it to show me something. I was not reprimanded or anything. It’s not like that. I was more of a, “Oh shoot. I forgot!” feeling as I got the message.

Time to Rest

I was pulled very quickly back to my body. As this occurred I received information about the veil between the Earth and the other dimensions or layers surrounding it. The veil was thinner than normal. It was not a good idea at this time for me to explore these areas. It was my time to “rest”.

I was able to gain information about why it was not a good idea for me to travel outside my body right now while many others are able to. It has something to do with my vibration level and the vibration of my physical body as well as the vibration level of the surrounding dimensions or layers. I was told that my physical body is being attuned, its vibration raised in order to incorporate a higher vibration. Leaving my body to explore the astral realms could interrupt the process.

I am shown in my mind a tuning fork and the ripples the sound makes as it travels away from the fork. Then I am shown a disturbance in the ripple. This disturbance is what would happen if I were to astral right now.

I’m not sure what would happen if such a disturbance occurred but I trust my guides in this. There is always a good reason even if I do not understand it.

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667 Days to Home

Today is my last day of work. I took a half of it off because I have days to burn. I was also hoping to get more sleep. I did, but not as much as I would have liked.

I have mixed feelings about leaving work despite knowing it is the right choice for now. I will miss some of my students and those coworkers whom I developed good working relationships with. One coworker sent me an email thanking me for helping her son and asking for me to let her know if I ever go into private practice. It is her son that I am saddest to leave. He is sad, too. He cried when I told him I was leaving. 😦

It’s wonderful to feel I have made an impact in someone’s life, even if only a small one.

Gaping Hole

I don’t know if it is just me leaving work that is causing this, but I feel a gaping hole in my life. I think it has always been there but now it seems bigger. There is nothing there. It is just empty and the emptiness of it is what bothers me the most. The bigger it gets, the more empty I feel inside.

I have tried to fill it with things – activities, movement, mental tasks – but when all is done it is still there. I go within and find it there and it is not scary but I don’t know what to do with it. Do I fill it? Do I leave it alone? What is it anyway?

My guide told me this morning, “Why don’t you just rest? It is okay to take a break”. Perhaps, but I am such a busy-body, so use to keeping myself and my mind occupied, that taking a break is not all that easy for me.

For example, I awoke at 5am this morning and immediately my mind began to fill with thoughts of things I needed to do. I even got confused on what day it was, thinking it was Friday and then Wednesday and finally getting to the fact that it is Monday. There are so many lists of things I have to do – exit paperwork for work, promoting my new business, resolving a return of a large product I ordered, a parent-teacher conference, and so on and so forth. All these things flooded my mind and I panicked when I accidentally thought it was Friday.

It’s actually kinda funny. 🙂

667 Days

Out of control thoughts, even if they appear productive, can bring a person down really fast. I reacted by begging my guides to help me return to sleep and asking when I would return Home.

Surprisingly, I got an answer the to second question immediately: 667 days. Really?

Of course, I immediately thought there is now way that could be accurate. Why would my guides reveal something like that? Maybe because they know I will forget it. I forget so easily.

667 days is just under 2 years from now. “Home” I believe is not me leaving this physical body via death. I believe it is reestablishing a connection with the part of me that is Home, is always Home. It is a feeling not a destination.

Mind-Heart Connection

It is clear to me that I have established a link between my mind and my heart. It is undeniable to me now. Every night I feel it as I relax and prepare for sleep. My third eye lights up like a beacon and my heart follows. It is like clockwork.

I feel it throughout the day, too, but mostly it is my third-eye that is blazing throughout the day. It is doing so now and any time I check for it, it is there as a reminder that I am always connected. Sometimes it blazes so intensely while I am doing mundane things that I cannot help but stop what I am doing and notice. It is like I am being asked to take notice of the moment. To not get lost in all the “things” I have to do throughout the day.

My crown chakra is also buzzing, but it is less in comparison to the huge pulling sensation in my third-eye. The energy helmet is becoming so familiar to me that it goes unnoticed until the energy in my crown reaches similar proportions to that of my third-eye.

Honestly it feels like my head is a beacon of light.

20%

In one of my intense, third-eye energy moments I got a vision along with a message. It was a timeline, or at least that is how it appeared to me. I could see that most of the line was colored in in green. It reminded me of the download screens one gets when downloading something from the internet. Towards the end of the green line there was written “20%”.

As soon as I saw it I got the message that I only have 20% left to go. I did not feel encouraged. Who knows how long it will take to download that 20%. My connection often gets interrupted. 6 minutes can take an hour.

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Healing Spheres of Golden Light

In an attempt to get a longer, more restful sleep, I gave in and took 25mg of Benadryl last night. I slept until 7am with few wakings for a total of 10 hours of sleep!

Dreams and False Awakenings

The Benadryl gives me that heavy, full-of-sleep feeling, so although I did dream, I have few memories of dreams. The few memories I do have are riddled with false awakenings indicating that I was nearly lucid, but just not quite enough to wake up and recognize I was dreaming.

In one particular false awakening instance, I had “awakened” from a dream and rolled back over to return to sleep only to find that I was feeling a very strong energy in my root chakra and a churning desire in my second chakra. I recognized this and decided I needed to wake my husband to release some of the energy.

I got up out of bed (remember this is a dream but I think I am awake) and look for my husband. I find him sitting inside an unfamiliar car in the driver’s seat. He sees me and is surprised. I have a blanket wrapped around me and still feel very groggy. I reach over and kiss him passionately he. He is surprised and we make out for a short while. I am pleased because I feel such an overwhelming desire for him, a desire I have not felt since after the birth of our second child.

Gaining hope that perhaps we can rekindle that new love feeling, I am about to ask him to come into the house when he points ahead at a person walking along the road. He says,”I wonder why they are out so late?” He is curious and begins to drive toward the woman. This reveals an entire group of people walking along the road. A light appears which I think are car headlights. Turns out it is flashlights and the group is much larger than I thought.

My husband, being the socialite he is, questions the woman who says there is a neighborhood meeting. My husband gathers data from her to the extent that I lose interest completely in my original reason for being there. I remember thinking, “That does it for me”.

I recall following my husband as he talks and mingles with the group and we all walk outside along a dirt path that winds through woods and houses. I am flying in one of these instances and recall being just above the treetops and wanting to get out of there and explore. This is not allowed. I am to observe the scene and I do not like it.

False Awakening Two

I then “awaken” in my bed and hear water running. I wonder why it is running and not stopping so I get up to investigate and find the toilet has not shut off. I fix it and hear a noise in the kitchen.

There is a golden hue in the kitchen (all the house is unfamiliar). I go out and find my middle son is awake. I tell him to go back to bed.

It gets hazy here but I remember then being in a mall looking for my children after returning from the group of people my husband was with from the other dream. I find them wandering around and frantically gather them up to take them home. There is a man giving out wads of 100 dollar bills. I take one and do not believe it is real and throw it on the floor. On my way home I pick it up and say I will give it to my husband as he might believe the money is real.

When we get home the house is full of those people my husband was with. I tell them to leave. I did not invite them and they can’t just walk in without knocking and asking for entrance.

There is this shorter, middle aged woman who is very familiar there. She gives me a defiant look and resists my orders to leave. I see her as a threat to my marriage as she was the one leading the group and my husband tends to go along with what she asks him to do. Eventually she and the others do leave my house but my husband returns and invites them in. I feel powerless to do anything about it and feel a strange uncomfortable feeling. I do not want to feel this in my own home so I leave and stand outside looking at the front door.

Healing Spheres of Light

I awaken feeling this odd energy over my body. As I come to full awareness, I both sense and see these pulsating, golden spheres on my back and shoulder areas. They seem attached to me and I see one is placed where my shoulder and arm meet and another is six inches higher near my neck. Where they are touching me is an odd sensation, one I do not like.

Fully lucid, I want the feeling to go away. Still in the in-between, I see very clearly the golden spheres attached to grayish looking branches or vines. They are “ripe” and falling off like fruit falls off a tree. The vines seem alive, almost fleshy-like and seem to retreat somewhat when a golden sphere of fruit falls off. It is a very alien-like scene, like something from a Sci-Fi movie, and I withdraw from it, wanting it to go away as I still feel the strange feeling. It feels like I am being zapped with energy and where the energy touches me is a radiating alien energy that goes deep into my Being. I feel invaded but it does not hurt nor do I think I should be withdrawing from it. Yet a part of me does not want anything to do with these spheres.

Recognizing that something is being done to me, I wake fully and immediately question the experience. I see in front of me a hand written note on white paper. As I begin to read it I hear my guide say, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to love others?” I remember the dream and my rejection of the large group my husband so happily embraces. I want to retreat from it; to isolate myself from this “group”. The uncomfortable feeling returns and I say to my guide, “I don’t want to. Do I have to?” I hear, “No, but you will have to learn it at a later date” and I know that if I do not learn it now, that I will in another life. I cringe.

The feeling goes away but my hips feel very sensitive and I struggle to get comfortable. The feeling is not like any I have had before. It kind of feels like my legs were popped out of the hip socket and then replaced. Like I had been rearranged.

To Learn or Not to Learn, That is the Question

Fully awake, I perused my dreams, trying to remember them. What I found is that I began to re-write the dreams. For example, where I was in the car with my husband and he sees the woman, I re-wrote it by seeing instead an army in front of us who we both began to fight. There was a full on assault with guns and bombs. I came out of my reverie knowing I had re-written it and struggled to remember the original. The message was not lost on me, though.

In this life I tend to choose to avoid groups. I avoid making connections with groups. I do this to protect myself but also because groups make me uncomfortable. Last night, I stayed home with my youngest rather than go to a party with my husband. I chose this because it is outside my comfort zone. I have always been this way, mostly. Sometimes when I go to a party I am very social and open. But this is rare. I usually stand or sit far away from the crowd and rarely do I initiate a conversation.

I recognize that my real Self is very sociable. For some reason I chose to be the opposite in this life. I remember lives in which I was social and being social was easy. Not so in this life. The dreams I had last night suggest that I am to learn a lesson about sociability. It is linked to my husband and our marriage. I suspect there is a hidden “lie” that needs to be revealed but in order to do this I must step outside my comfort zone. I must challenge myself in order to “free” myself.

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Destination

In the early morning hours after once again waking at 5:30am, I found myself drifting in and out of a lucid dream. To my disappointment, each time I would begin to take control of this state I would awaken fully. This occurred about five times total before I gave up. However, I was able to gather some important data through this process which I want to share with you all.

Destination

In one instance of lucid dreaming, I found myself traveling at intense speeds in what appeared to be outer space. I could see the stars buzzing by me. They appeared as streaks of light. I felt to be moving toward a destination that I could make out just barely in the darkness. It had shape to it but appeared to be cloaked in darkness. Yet I could see its outline which was distinctly angular, like several triangles merged together. As I think back on the shape I saw, it resembled a merkaba.

As I woke from this experience, there came with me an awareness of information that had not been there before. There came a message in my mind – “You are already at your destination”. With this I knew that there were simultaneously existing states. One in which I was already at my destination, some 8 to 9 light-years away. The other in which I was still traveling, not yet where I hoped to be.

I fell into another light dream state and once again was lucid. I saw several points of light disperse and then each one exploded into more tiny lights. This occurred many, many times until the points of light were so many I was unable to keep track of them.

When I awoke I knew that each of my perceptions was much more than what they seemed. Each perception in itself was a new state, a distinct me and then each one in turn became more, expanding beyond my current state. This in itself is such a limited description of what I saw and the information I knew/know is difficult to put into words.

Image of a Being

As I continued to drift in and out of a lucid states, I was discussing many things with another person. The person was male and felt distinctly different than my normal guide. I wondered who it was and got a flash of an image. I saw a very pale face which reminded me of the young girl I saw not long ago. This face was very obviously male, with a stronger jawline, and appeared more mature. He had no hair and seemed very serious. He gave me a name but I have lost it now. It was like Morphael-Son or something like that. Definitely not a name that is of Earth.

Root Chakra Manipulation

Another odd occurrence these past few nights is a strange activation of my root chakra when I am meditating. The first time it happened I almost missed it altogether because I had gone into such a deep state of relaxation. I meditated on my third eye and heart chakra as has been my norm and had all the typical pulling and energy intensity that I have been having for weeks now. This time, however, I must have gone immediately into the in-between or even may have been OOB. I was happily enjoying the blissful energies when I suddenly had orgasmic-type sensations in my root and second chakras. They were very muted, however, and were just barely noticeable on a physical level. I actually ignored them until something brought me back to full awareness and I felt that I was nudged into remembering that it happened.

This same energy has been happening easily with me just intending it to happen. I mentioned this previously but it seems to be escalating. Most nights now I am able to get the energy levels to a pretty intense state, but nothing bliss-gasm-like.

Then this morning, as I was in the in-between having these conversations and learning, I had a moment where I was very lucid and standing in a room. Across the room was another person, I think they were male but cannot remember. They were in communication with me, but it was wordless. Instead it felt like energy and I felt that I should purposefully activate my root chakra. The root chakra began to activate intensely but I felt embarrassed for some reason, as if I did not want this other person observing this process. So I came back to full awareness. Yet when I fell back into the dream state, there I was again, fully lucid in a room standing across from this man and feeling an intense rising up of energy into my second chakra.

I again awoke and there was no residual energy except that my third eye was blazing. I recall now that the room was white but the floors were either green or lush grass. It was like I was in a field with white walls.

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Dreams: Spanish Class and Attack

My sleep has been dream-filled these past few days but I am still failing to sleep as much as I like. I struggle to fall asleep and then once I do, I wake up way too early and can’t fall back to sleep. Sigh.

Dream: Spanish Class

This dream was two nights ago but it is still very vivid. I find it curious because it was so “normal” compared to the dreams I have been remembering lately.

In this dream I was in a classroom looking down at a textbook. I could see the rows of desks and the other students reading from textbooks. The visual was very crisp and real and I knew I was in a university setting. I remember looking up at the board and seeing the notes we were to take. They were in short two to three sentence paragraphs each with a bullet to the left. The content was historical, but I do not recall the specifics now. When I try to read the board in my memory I get squiggly lines, as if the information cannot properly transfer into this physical reality.

I remember hearing a teacher talking to me. The voice was male. I was instructed to complete the assignment and warned that I was close to failing the class. I knew that my average was in the 70’s and I also knew the class was Spanish.

The conversation is one-sided in my memory. All I “hear” are my own thoughts and the thoughts of my teacher come to me as knowingness rather than a voice. I remember realizing I was in the wrong class and needed a schedule change. I thought about changing the class but then realized more than half of the class was behind me and it made no sense to leave it when I was almost finished with it. So I chose to remain in the class.

Interpretation

Being in class indicates learning and personal growth. Failing to sign up for the right class symbolizes one’s anxieties toward failing at some endeavor in life. The fact that I am studying a foreign language symbolizes an unfamiliar problem in one’s life and a difficulty approaching it and/or resolving it.

In other words, there is some aspect of my life now that I am unfamiliar with and it is presenting a problem for me. What do I do? How do I resolve it? This makes plenty of sense to me.

Dream: Attack

Last night I had an unusual dream, especially for me. I don’t recall what it was about now, just what was happening as I awoke. I was being attacked by some kind of energy that I perceived to be dark. In my memory all I see is a darkness with a swirling silvery white energy sparking through it. It was not just one energy either, it felt to be coming from all sides.

When I awoke I was not frightened but a bit perplexed. My hands were clenched in fists and up underneath my pillow as if I were actually physically trying to fight off this energy. Very curious!

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Dream: You Have Been Transferred

Things have finally started to settle down. I am getting a full 8 hours of sleep at night now and my dreams have returned. Unfortunately, I am still waking up wide awake at 5:30am.

Deceased Loved Ones in Dreams

For the last few nights I have had dreams in which I met up with deceased loved ones. I specifically recall dreams with my father and my grandmother in them. In a dream last night I saw both my grandmother and my father in the same dream but in different parts of it. I remember acknowledging my grandmother when I accidentally noticed her sitting across from me at a table. I said, “I didn’t know you were here!” but I don’t remember anything else we talked about. When I saw my father it was in a similar situation but I knew he was there and was quite comfortable with it, as if he had always been there and not died at all.

I have not seen my father in my dreams or astral in a very long time. I want to say about 10 years. My grandmother just passed away last year and so this was one of the first times I have seen her in my dreams. I have had contact with both of them via my mediumship ability while completely awake and doing other things. My grandmother in particular was quite demanding of my attention after she crossed over. My father was as well (he was my first Spirit connection), but I actually asked my father to stop coming to talk because it caused me so much emotional upset. So he chose to visit me while I was astral projecting or dreaming so that it was less emotionally upsetting.

I have a vague recollection of seeing others who have passed in my dreams lately, too. I think my husband’s boss and wife both have visited me, as well as my great uncle. I remember my great uncle gave me information about my great aunt, my grandmother’s sister passing away soon. I also got information about my own aunt, my Mom’s sister, and health issues she would have.

What is odd is that I had not memory of most of these dreams during the time period in which my sleep was interrupted by the strange vibrations and experiences, yet now they seem to be returning to me. But they are so weird! Why would all my family be visiting me now?

Dream: You Have Been Transferred

One strange dream from last night came with a message.

In the dream, I was with Tom Cruise (this is the second dream with him in it!) and he and I were dating. I remember him being very ambivalent towards me. I recognized this and so was hesitant to get close to him.

He took me to a place where I ran into my grandmother. I remember being in a room of a large building, like a mall, that had a kitchen sink and I was cleaning the dishes and talking to my grandmother about something, kind of like small talk and relationship advice.

Then Tom showed me a cell phone that had a message on it, like a fax receipt. He said, “Look! You have been transferred!” He acted like it was a big deal and showed much excitement about it. When I saw it I felt like it was not good news and was not pleased.

This message stood out to me for some reason, as did the fact that Tom Cruise was there. I don’t have any sexual attraction to the actor and don’t know why he keeps showing up in my dreams.

More Light Codes

When I awoke from this dream, I was seeing light codes. They began in the light, cascading down from above. As I awakened the light turned dark and the code became gray. It flowed down around me like a waterfall. My third eye was pulsing with energy as was the back top section of my head. I have no idea the meaning of the codes. They just looked like squiggly lines, circles, and shapes moving down around me in my vision.

Controlling My Own Energy

One last interesting change: Last night before bed while meditating and connecting with my Companion, I had an unexpected breakthrough.

My typically meditation involves me laying on my back with my eyes closed and focusing on my third eye and heart simultaneously. When I do this, my third eye lights up immediately or intensifies (it seems to be active most of the day now anyway). Then my heart will light up, as if in response to my third eye. Sometimes my second chakra will light up with energy as well. It is at this point that communication with my Team, Council and/or Companion in initiated. This has been my nightly routine for a little over 2 weeks now, maybe longer (lost track).

What is different about last night is that I began to focus on the energy and will it to build up. When I did this there was an intent to connect with my Divinity. My second chakra had been warm and tingly but when I began to focus on building the energy, there was a spreading out of warmth from my heart chakra and I could feel the energy rising up from my root to meet it. My second chakra seemed to vibrate more intensely because of this. All the while my entire head was buzzing. It felt wonderful and was beautiful. I felt my entire being vibrating with warmth and love.

I realized while this was happening that I was doing this and had always been able to do it. It was so easy to move the energy! Unfortunately, my mind began to wander and the intensity subsided.