Author Archives

by

No Rest for the Weary

I couldn’t fall to sleep last night. I had too much energy, which was odd after running for 30 minutes and then sitting in a hot sauna for four hours (with breaks of course). I was able to hear my guide on and off and had some moments where I would hear complete sentences but they are lost to me now. I recognized instantly that something was churning inside me, moving toward the forefront of my Earth consciousness.

The recognition of this was almost imperceptible, still is, but if I focus on my heart space, quiet my mind and just feel, it is there. The physical exhaustion that accompanies this purification of body has separated me from the usual communication periods that come with sleep. Yet there lingers a memory that so much is being accomplished in the beyond.

No Rest for the Weary

I have been observing the comments of others over the period of a couple of weeks. While I enjoy my deep, almost dreamless sleep and daily stability, others are struggling with intense Kundalini-type symptoms, general dis-ease and melancholy. The energy intensifies every day and the lull between each surge is near non-existent. It is the crescendo ever rising. It is adjust, adapt or fail.

And I hate to tell you all this, especially those of you who are struggling right now, but this is not going to let up anytime soon. The days of the long periods of normal, lower energy, are over. It is the push over the edge for some.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with this new normal, ask for assistance from your guides. Look inward for your answers, not outward, as you will find great confusion all around you. It is human nature to seek comfort in our similarities with others, to feel not alone, yet at this time the similarities can be very misleading and only add to the confusion.

There are some who are, like me, experiencing deep, rejuvenating sleep. Enjoy it, as it is your body adapting to the higher more intense energies. Though you may feel disconnected from your guides at this time, they are never far away. Know there is much occurring behind the scenes. Trust that all is well. You are in good hands.

by

Purification Update and Other News

My purification is going well. I am on day 9 today and feeling better everyday. When I first feel the Niacin it is intense but the flush doesn’t last as long and the prickling and burning sensations are also decreasing. I also do not have significant purging of chemicals, medications and other toxins. For example, yesterday I just felt my neck get stiff and had a stink come out of my pores. I end off each day feeling refreshed and positive.

Sleep

My sleep has improved significantly since starting. I sleep a solid 8-9 hours and only wake once. Once! I sleep so hard that when I wake up I rarely remember my dreams and even if I do, I don’t care about them. The sleep is just awesome! I have not slept like this since my teen years. Oh how I’ve missed it!

Unfortunately, I am not receiving any guide communication or experiencing any lucid dreams, in-between states, or OBEs. I just sleep and wake and go about my day. I suspect this will continue until the purification concludes. I am already halfway through so am hoping I will be done in another 10 days or so. Fingers crossed!

Spiritual Happenings

Though I have not had much in the way of a spiritual connection this last week, I have had some interesting things occur. The night of the 20th I was hit with a sudden twinge of nervousness. It hit me deep in the stomach area and came out of the blue, you know the “sick” dread feeling? I could not mentally figure it out so I focused on my heart space. The answer I got was that I was being asked to make some kind of decision. I remember running from this decision, whatever it was, and finally announcing to my guides, “I don’t want to do that now”. The feeling immediately vanished and has not returned.

Yesterday I was watching TV and felt a distinct shift in the energy around me. I wondered about it, but again, trying to mentally figure it out was not happening. So, I focused on my heart and recognized where the shift was coming from. It was a “change of guard”. In other words, my guides were changing out. Not all of them, but some of them. This is not really an unusual occurrence, just not often recognized when it does happen.

The number of guides I have around me has shrunk substantially during the purification process. I am back to my usual 4. Sometimes there is the usual 12 I have become accustomed to, but so far more often it is just the 4. I suspect this is just a temporary thing and honestly, I don’t care much one way or the other. I am enjoying my sleep!

Response to Blog

A final thing that happened this past week was a first for me since I started my blog. I got a nasty, insulting blog comment. It was only one word and I quickly marked it as spam. What is interesting is, just a week prior, I had a dream in which I received a nasty blog comment and was discussing with my guide how to respond to such negativity. So it was really no surprise when I got the comment. I feel like my guides had prepared me well for it and others like it.

It is amazing to me how much I have changed and this negative comment helped me see this in myself. I did not react with upset or anger. No Ego reaction at all. I just saw the connection with my dream, acknowledged it, marked the comment as spam, and then went on my way. Occasionally, I would think back on it as if I was looking to see if any part of me would react. It was like I was probing for the Old me, to see if any remnant of her remained. I could touch her reactions but only as memories. It was and is such a freeing experience to be able to detach from that part of me. Every day I wonder if she really is “dead” and if so, when exactly will I finally “bury” her?

Honestly, I think the anxious feeling I had on the 20th was a request to finally “bury” her  (the Old) and I was not, still am not, ready to do that. I feel I am still holding onto the memory of her with a fascination that is hard to describe.There is an almost obsession with all that was in comparison to all that currently is. Was that really me? Where did she go? Is she still in there?

It is like getting out the old photo album. You see yourself years ago and laugh at your hair, your clothes, or the silly and sad memories that go along with it. Part of you wants to go back and try to re-experience the old times, to feel it as if it is real right in the present moment. But there is only so much that can come of that and eventually you put the photo album away to gather dust. Eventually, there is little interest at all in ever looking back.

by

Manifestation Portal Opens Tonight: Message from the Council of Many

Though I am not feeling the climatic consciousness energies like many of you, I am noticing a shift from deep within me taking root. Perhaps this is because I already experienced a climax in consciousness back in May which has changed me, but I know there is more of an explanation than this.

Balance is the key, I am told, and the reason the current energies seem not to effect me like they do others. I feel them but am not disturbed; my perceptions not distorted by them.

I see in my mind what is currently happening to those being hit with these changes. Their light bodies are thrown askew quite violently from their physical bodies and so there is a distortion of perception. They sense this but cannot control it because their bodies are not yet in alignment. Mine are, I am told, and this balance allows me to integrate all experiences as One without the skewed time variations throwing me out of sync with the current reality.

You may ask, “How can I align my bodies?” or “How can I attain this balance?” There really is nothing you need to do and honestly, nothing more you can do that you are not already doing. Much of the changes are occurring outside this physical reality and only slivers of these changes are actually making it into your physical body consciousness. It can be quite confusing to this part of you who uses the mind to analyze and predict the future based upon all possible outcomes and past experience. These mechanisms are not viable to you in regards to the profound changes occurring within you (all of your bodies) at this time. Trust is key as is the relationship you have with your inner guidance at this time. So much calm, so much peace, awaits you within if you can only habitually go there and avoid the traps of the mind.

It is told to me that a portal opens tonight allowing us access to manifestation energies not yet available to us previously. These energies are an amplification of Source within each of us that opens within us a type of vortex of energy that when tapped into can expand and amplify thoughts in alignment with our purpose. Carefully consider what you want in your life at this time and announce it. Then trust that it will be so. In some cases you will only feel what it is that your Higher Self desires and that is all the better as it enhances the manifestation process even more. There will be no mental awareness of what it is that you desire, only a feeling that expands and saturates your experience in ways you have yet to perceive.

You may have already noticed similar energies at work in the last week. These energies have been building up to this weekend’s portal and have thus assisted you in the manifestation process. These “tools” allowed you to be at the ready for any such possible actions that may have been required of you. In some cases, all you needed do was be open to all possibility and accept into your experience that which would assist you toward your endeavors.

If you do not believe that such power resides within you, step back and observe the results of your manifestation as they materialize. It is your ability that create that sets you apart from the rest of the inhabitants of this planet. You have merely forgotten this part of You and have haphazardly manifested both good and bad so frequently that you have illogically attributed it all to “chance” or “fate”. Oh, but fate has nothing on you! You are the master of all devices. Remember [you will] your magnificence.

The portal opens tonight at midnight CST and peaking just before noon the next day, coinciding with the summer solstice. It will extend into the following week and materialization ability will continue to be enhanced throughout this time period extending through the remainder of summer months [until the planetary alignment disengages and moves into the 5th house of your conjunction] Note: the last part relates to my particular chart of which I am ignorant at this time so further research is needed. Any help here is appreciated.

Please let it be noted here that manifestation ability is and will be further enhanced when/as balance is achieved and maintained. This particular portal gives many access to this, their hidden potential, and the extension of such is dependent on the ability of the individual to maintain balance and reactivate long forgotten ability. Continued practice is encouraged. This ability is innate. Trust that it is so.

by

Strange Chills

Today is day 5 of my purification and I feel like I have been doing it for a month. Yesterday’s dosage of Niacin caused me to have the strongest reaction I have ever had to it. I literally looked like I had a very bad sunburn on all exposed parts of my body. I didn’t feel bad, just looked bad. There was some tingling but not much and it was not as bad the first reaction I had, which is interesting. Later, after the flush faded, I had unexplainable bouts of depression just hit me for seconds to a minute at a time and then vanish just as quickly.

I suspect that what was getting purged from my system is years of the antidepressant Zoloft. Though I didn’t take large quantities of it, I did take it for an extended period of time in my late 20s. Ever since coming off of it I have had to wear earplugs to sleep because I became a horribly light sleeper. I am hoping when this purification is over that the earplugs will no longer be needed and whatever damage was done by that horrible drug will be reversed.

Spirituality

One of the worst side-effects of this purification is that I have lost almost all spiritually related experiences since starting. I understand this is because my physical body is going through quite an ordeal, but I feel extremely cut-off from my Team and Council now. They are there, as proved the other morning by them waking me up to a message which I then wrote out and posted, but other than that there is very little communication. Even when focusing on my heart space all I get is a sense that all is okay and going well. That should be enough, I suppose, but I wish I could have a cool guide-encounter via dream or OBE.

There is, of course, the occasional crown chakra tingling and feeling that something is going on beyond the veil between myself and my Team. The knowingness is only via a feeling and if I try and figure it out more than I just can’t seem to get anywhere. My mind is blocked, which I think is the point. Feeling the communication should be enough, right?

Strange Chills

I did want to mention something that happened on my way home from my purification yesterday as it was very odd and a first for me.

While driving there were moments when the traffic would suddenly stop and this would, of course, cause me to react and my physical body would send adrenaline into my arms and legs momentarily. It was not huge amounts of adrenaline, either. However, for some reason, I felt a cold chill on my skin, almost like I walked into a deep freeze but even colder than that. It felt like every nerve in my body activated and was quite similar to localized kundalini energy sensations I have gotten in the past.

After it happened the first time, I became use to the traffic conditions and the adrenaline aspects stopped but the chills continued. So, it was not the adrenaline itself causing the sensation. It slowly wore off over the length of the drive until it was no longer noticeable and I was hit with an intense exhaustion.

If I had not had all of the odd energy sensations I have had in my lifetime, I would have gone into panic over the strange chills. They were quite intense and very distinct. I decided to enjoy the sensation rather than reject it and they almost had a soothing quality to them.

I am curious if they will show up again today. I suspect something about the purification – the Niacin and length of time in a sauna – caused this phenomenon. Perhaps it was the Zoloft and other similar medications I have taken in the past being purged? I can only guess.

by

Purification Progress

Today is day four of my purification. My cold is gone and I am becoming use to the changes in routine due to the program.

I had more energy yesterday after I finished the program, enough that I was able to do my normal activities. For the first two days of the program I had to lay down and take power naps, so the increase in energy back to my norm was nice. Unfortunately, the increase in energy made it hard for me to fall asleep last night.

Results Thus Far

Besides the increase in energy, I had some serious reactions to the Niacin on day 2. Not only did my skin flush but I got dizzy, nauseated, light headed, and tired. This only lasted about a half hour, thankfully. I suspect the Niacin was releasing the radiation from old sunburns, x-rays and other toxic substances as all the symptoms I experienced are classic radiation symptoms. Today my dosage increases again so I expect more releasing of toxins, though with less intensity.

I am also getting use to the increase in cardio. I use to run almost daily before my third child, but stopped and replaced it with weight training and that has been my routine ever since. Getting back into the routine of running, even if via interval training, has been hard to return to. Follow that with hours in the sauna and any body would want to sleep the rest of the day!

I am drinking a gallon of water just while doing the program. I then drink probably close to another gallon when I am home. The results have been a purging of my skin. While I am in the sauna my face looks like I recall it looking in my 20s. Unfortunately, when I get out is when the wonderful skin problems erupt. I suspect this will diminish over time as I am already seeing it do so. It is like getting a very long facial every day. 🙂

It is important to eat 6 servings of veggies per day and so I have been doing so. I normally eat 3-4 (inadequate) so this has my body a bit confused and I am suffering some digestive discomforts but these are diminishing as well now, too. I mostly eat broccoli, spinach, carrots and bell peppers but am diversifying because I think the broccoli is causing me to bloat. lol Last night I ate cabbage and bok choy, with no side effects. My new favorite snack is now miniature bell peppers. So yummy!

by

Universal Consciousness Revisited

Despite deep sleep last night, I had some interesting dreams in which I was being led into an understanding of upcoming shifts in consciousness. I awoke, in fact, with an image of the Earth in front of me. It was spinning on its axis and the continents were visible. I then saw pinpricks of light begin to pop up in one area, expand outward in a blue grid pattern and then move to the next continent in the same manner. Eventually, all of Earth was lit up with this blue communication network. Seeing this woke me up and I heard, “universal consciousness”. I understood that an event was soon to come in which those ready for a consciousness upgrade would experience a linking with one another at a very deep level; a Oneness. This, of course, would come with a Remembering of the Self.

Large Earthworms and Tree Root Houses

My dreams were interesting and memorable. The main one began with me at a friend’s house. She was opening her garage and we were getting into the car when I spotted what looked like a large clod of wet dirt. I said, “Watch out for that. What is that?” She said, “Oh, those are just worms”. I looked closer and sure enough it was a glob of snake-sized earthworms.

I saw another clump of these worms before we left and remember wondering why they were so big. We drove right overt he top of one clump even.

On our way we traveled across a desert in the car and other times floating along just above the ground. We came across what appeared to be a hollowed out structure made of rock. It was meant to hold a fire inside and when illuminated resembled a skull. I commented on it and was asked, “What is it for?” I explained that it was meant to illuminate the mind.

We went onward and finally left the desert area and came upon strange structure made of tree roots. The trees appeared to be dead but they weren’t. Upon future inspection the structures resembled houses and I said to my friend, “I could live here!” I went inside. It was perfectly made, trees branches entwined to create the perfect dwelling. I felt so comfortably happy.

Interpretation

I awoke with the vision of earth and a message, “There will be a climax in consciousness”. I tried to ignore it as I did not want to get my hopes up, and tried to sleep. I couldn’t, of course, and eventually got up and wrote down the message.

For me, the dreams encompass the preparation for whatever is about to come. I was being shown a penetration of deeper layers of consciousness (earthworms) and a connection with universal consciousness (tree root houses). I received communication from my guides but it was lost to my mind before I could interpret it. Already, my mind is beginning to blank out in preparation for the coming changes and reception of information is limited to my heart space. it is a feeling of knowing rather than a knowing of knowing. My head is also abuzz with energy and has been for the last few days. However, my focus on my purification has left me so exhausted that I have been pretty much oblivious. I am adjusting, though, which is why I believe I perceived so much upon waking. My body feels to be recovering and rebounding. Yay!

by

Consciousness Crescendo – Message from the High Council

There will be soon a climax in consciousness that will be experienced by the many on Earth ascending at this time. It is so called a climax because there has not yet been such consciousness levels reached in these individuals until now. This is the culminating event in an ever building schematic previously laid out eons ago for the transcendent evolution of mankind.

In this event a superior knowingness will seem to descend upon those ready for such an experience. It will feel much as if your physical mind expands beyond a limit yet to be experienced. Your origins and purpose will again be revealed but this time with more definition and specificity. The gaps that were there before will be filled in and a pervasiveness of it will endow you with much of your Self which you have lost over countless incarnations.

Additionally, a calmness will overtake you that is such that you will feel ever more comfortable in your surroundings, in your physical vehicle and in your purpose. A dream-like quality may accompany this and a sense of homecoming that many of you have been seeking your entire lives will be palpable.

This climax in consciousness comes after a period of quiet and seemingly disconnect from Source. This in itself was an illusion set up in part due to the effects of the Egos return to the forefront during a time of adjustment and transition. There is a pattern in this process that you may now be noticing. Such patterns exist so that the full transformational effects can be felt and processed without resulting in supreme overwhelm of the mental mechanisms of the body. The physical vehicle is only capable of so much and should not be pushed beyond its limits. To do so would encourage sudden illness and dysfunction therein. Even with precautions, many have been experiencing physical alterations at varying degrees throughout their transformation. Therefore, do not be disappointed when this powerful and sublime crescendo, decrescendos, and leaves you wanting for more. The true test is in recognizing the illusion of its departure.

As always, we remind you to tune into the heart center and avoid the mind’s over-analytical tendencies. Trust the process. Give into the process. Release your fears, doubts and insecurities and this consciousness crescendo will shift you into the next level.

by

Purification

Yesterday I began the long process of purifying this physical vehicle (body). I have done this in the past (8 years ago) but am doing it again for several reasons. First, I had a c-section last year that pumped my body full of nasty medications (morphine for one) and have had several rounds of antibiotics along with various pain medications and local anesthesia. This along with environmental toxins, past recreational drug use and psychological medications, I figured it was time to do it again. I also want to help this spiritual process I have been going through by making sure the body adequately adapts and adjusts to it.

The routine is simple. Take prescribed amounts of various vitamins and minerals, exercise at a moderate intensity for 20-30 minutes and then do a stent in the sauna. The main ingredient here is the Niacin as it is the vitamin that helps dislodge residual drugs and toxins that are lodged in the fat cells of the human body. The exercise circulates the Niacin, which often causes a major flushing and tingling of the skin, and the sauna heat causes the body to sweat out the toxins through the skin.

The time in the sauna is extensive. Yesterday I spent 2 hours in it. Today will be 3. The next day, 4. Then I think it plateaus. I will continue the program until there remain no more reactions to the Niacin and my body has flushed all the toxins. It can take 3 weeks or longer going in daily, so it is quite a regime.

Day One

It is funny how 8 years changes you. Last time I did this program I felt rejuvenated and full of energy. I looked forward to the run and enjoyed the sauna. Yesterday, however, I felt like a slug as I ran on the treadmill and the sauna seemed to suck the life out of me. My blood sugar dropped (my fault) and my blood pressure dropped at the same time and so I got dizzy and nauseous. Thankfully a bit of food and cool air resolved that quickly.

When I got home I felt exhausted and couldn’t get enough to eat and drink. I drank a gallon while there so was surprised I wanted more water. I probably drank another gallon at home. I craved carbohydrates and couldn’t get enough so finally broke down and had  a tootsie pop. lol I am still getting over this cold so that also hit me in the evening like usual and didn’t help how I felt (yes it is safe to do this program with a cold).

I slept like a rock last night, getting about 9 hours of sleep, but I am still tired today. I just want to lounge around and do nothing but will be leaving for day two of the purification in an hour. I know that this feeling of exhaustion will leave soon enough as my body adjusts to the change in routine, I just wish it didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t know how much spiritual activity I will have while on this program, so not sure how often I will write. I am not motivated to do much right now and my focus on the spiritual is none.

by

Heart Center Adjustment

As I mentioned in my last post, I was unable to fall asleep last night. Part of it was my illness, but the other part had to do with an odd feeling in my heart space.

The feeling is hard to describe but it felt as if there was trapped energy there. I had requested help from my guides to fall asleep and was instructed to focus on my heart space. That is when the strange energy became very strong. It was not the normal pulling sensation nor the vortex-like spinning I am use to. Instead, it felt like my entire midsection from my collarbone to my pelvis was buzzing, jumping and shooting with electrical energy. It was not a comfortable feeling and reminded me somewhat of being anxious, but it was not the same.

Oddly, the sensation pulled me into the in-between and I lay there for so long I thought I must have fallen asleep because I don’t remember anything from that time period. I want to say I was in the in-between at least half an hour. When I regained awareness, the strange feeling was intensely apparent and large, like my entire mid-section were engulfed in electrically charged flames. I didn’t feel hot, though, just different, as if I were split in two but only in that part of my body.

I awoke and then went back into the strange sensation which now no longer bothered me, falling into a very deep sleep. My dreams were in an environment I have not been in before where the atmosphere is similarly charged with the same heart-space energy except in the dream the energy was deeply calming and felt like an extension of myself.

When I awoke there was a knowing that I had received intense healing. I also knew the illness I currently have is a direct result of some of the changes I am going through, My body is reacting to them, adjusting and correcting itself. I am glad a cold is all that resulted!

by

Dream: Bluejay Turned Cat

I couldn’t fall asleep last night because of a nasty head cold I came down with a couple of days ago. It is funny how this cold works. Through the day I feel fine but then once the evening approaches I begin to get all stopped up and my throat hurts. I can’t sleep with a stopped up nose and sore throat. Nasal spray and Benadryl were my go-to’s but it still took me until midnight to fall asleep.

Bluejay Turned Cat

I was inside a house talking to a parent-figure for some time. The house seemed filled with twilight – the ambiance was calming with a bluish-gray tinge and sparkling energy that was energizing and familiar to me. I never saw who I was speaking to but I knew him.

Suddenly, I saw what appeared to be a large spiderweb covered in dewdrops. It was spectacular looking except that there was a large bluejay trapped in it. The bird was flopping around trying to get free and I watched it, hoping it would succeed. I eventually felt bad for it and stopped my conversation to help free it. However, it freed itself without issue and flew off.

I followed it and found myself walking in the twilight on a beautifully manicured green lawn. Down below was a large lake with cattails and lily pads. There was still an energy and bluish tinge to the air.

I watched as the bird turned into an orange striped cat. He was meandering toward the pond. He would turn into the bluejay ever so often and this did not seem to bother me. To me, they were one in the same.

The cat stopped and seemed to have something around his leg. I went to try and help and he flew (turned bluejay) across the pond to the other side. He then ran out of my sight, again turning into the cat.

I noticed he had dragged something with him across the lake. It was a green extension cord. How odd.

I was speaking with a boy at this time, my other half or twin. We decided we wanted to get the cat and he said the parent person had a boat. I saw it in my mind, a nice, flat bottomed boat. We requested to use it and permission was granted. However, I was afraid I would fall out and explained I had never been in a boat before. I was told I would have to do it without the parent person’s help. I would have to row my way across on my own.

Interpretation

I felt to be in a school situation at this time and much of the conversations I had are lost to me. However, the dream symbolism suggests I have overlooked something (bluejay) and am trying to control my spiritual progression (stuck in web). The bird turns into a cat suggesting that the overlooked aspect is connected to the spiritual feminine, independence, creativity and power. The green cord could be symbolic of connection to the spiritual like the silver cord so often observed in OBEs by others. Green symbolizes healing.

I seem uncertain about how to retrieve what I desire which is to help myself heal and reconnect to my spiritual feminine, independence, creativity and power. It is important to note here that bluejays also can symbolize the mind, body, spirit.