Author Archives

by

Dream: Blue Kachina

I’m super tired. Happy still, but tired. My sleep is interrupted lately with weird dreams. You saw them – dustpan nightmares? burning deserts? And those are just the ones I took time to write about. I’ve had strange messages in my dreams, some with repeating themes. One of those messages was, “You will meet your protector.” Ah, okay. I have a protector? Hmmm  A theme that keeps coming up is dying. Not only did I have that weird “memory” where another me was going to kill me, but then in an OBE I was being pulled up into the sky basically full-on ready to join my family in Spirit. No escapism. No upset. No regret. Just pure, joyful love at the reunion ahead. Again…huh?

And I’ve had two more hypoglycemic episodes at the gym. One on Sunday and then one yesterday. Same stuff. High heartbeat, dizzy, zoning out, feeling like passing out, etc. On Sunday I caught it before it got really bad but then as I drove home I nearly passed out (scary stuff!) and ended up detouring to a shopping area. I ended up walking around Kohl’s eating a candy bar to get my blood sugar back up. Then, like before, after I felt normal again, my stomach got really upset, like in knots – a make you double over in pain kinda upset. Yesterday I took food with me on the drive there and then had some in the car just in case I might need it. I did very little compared to my normal and STILL I ended up with a high heartbeat, the shakes and began to zone out. I left early (again) and ate my extra snack in the car. No issues driving home. No stomach upset. No dizzies or near pass out. Maybe I am getting better? Or maybe I just got lucky.

On top of the hypoglycemic episodes I have been super tired for the last three days. This tiredness makes me want to just go to bed right then and there. My eyes cross and everything.

Yes I’m eating. Yes it’s good, wholesome food. Maybe ascension related? Could be.

Thankfully, last night I was finally able to sleep well (thanks to half a Benadryl) but still had some crazy vivid dreams. I wanted to share one in particular.

Dream: Blue Kachina 

I was taken into a large waiting room. There were two sections. The one at the back of the room was the largest. People appeared to be sitting and meditating or praying, eyes closed and focused with intent on the group at the front. The front group was much smaller, maybe two rows total. They were seated and waiting.

The man who ushered me in made me feel uncomfortable. He told me to go sit up front and to “think about what I had done.” I questioned him, “What did I do?” He said, “You know.”

Up front I was given a booklet that appeared to be associated with a religious organization. All I recall was that it was blue. I was told to consider how I would answer the questions I would be asked. I still didn’t know what they were talking about. The feeling was that it was some kind of confessional.

I took a seat next to a little boy who was talking aloud to himself. He said, “I know what I’m going to say. I’m gay.” I looked at him and at first thought he was a girl but then saw he was a boy with long hair. I smiled at him and he was friendly to me, restating what he had just said to himself. I sent him love, knowing his confession would be difficult for him.

I still didn’t know why I was there. A woman stopped by and asked me, “Do you know what you will say?” I said, “I don’t.” She said, “Consider what you have done.” I again said, “What did I do?” She said, “You got kicked out of the (religious) organization.” I said, “I did not!” What is he talking about? I wondered. She motioned to the booklet I was holding and began talking about this blue star that was located just behind Earth. I saw it in my mind. It was small, like our moon, but a very soft shade of blue. She told me that it meant I must go through a purification process and she indicated that everyone in the room (in the back rows) was there to support those of us who were going through the process (front rows). She called the blue star “the Kachina” and said I must pray to the Kachina. There was other stuff, something about aliens/ETs but my thoughts get in the way here and I forget exactly what she said. There is briefly memory of Beings, tall and slender without any features, coming from the blue star. But I was thinking Yeah, yeah. You all are nuts. I need to get out of here. The feeling was that this group was a cult and they were trying to confuse me into submitting to them. That was not something I was interested in. I could care less if they “kicked me out” or disapproved of my actions.

Considerations

When I awoke, the main memory of this dream was the blue star. I had totally forgotten the name it was given but in retelling the dream to my husband it just came out of my mouth. I knew the name Kachina but I couldn’t place. Turns out it is a Hopi legend. The star is a symbol of purification.

My feeling from the dream is that I am being asked to confess or come clean which is in line with the prophecy. However, the feeling is that it is individual, not all of mankind.

 

by

Dreams: Miscarriage and Burning Desert

The strange dreams continue. But first, I was awakened by a song. What I heard was, “How can we live when our world stops turning?” The melody was familiar. I immediately looked up the song but the lyrics do not match the ones I heard. The lyrics from the song are “How can we dance when our earth is turning”. Makes me go hmmmm.

When I awoke with this song in my head I was angry about a certain situation and how it turned out. In recalling my dreams, I can see this situation was discussed in-depth throughout the night.

Dream: Miscarriage

I went to work at a job I was not overly enthused about. It was an office job of some kind. My boss informed me that I was pregnant. 14 weeks. She showed me the pregnancy test to confirm. In the dream it was a giant pregnancy test, taller than me! I was in shock. How could I be 14 weeks pregnant and not know it? I immediately touched my belly and I swear I felt movement. My mind went over and over the repercussions of this news. Strangely, I was not upset or excited. However, my boss was adamant that I buy insurance because I would need it. I told her that I could not afford it and didn’t see the point. I got really upset at her for trying to force it on me.

Not even halfway through the day I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, I began to miscarry. Then I was going over the loss of a potential life and sad for not having developed any attachment to my baby. I had even known it would be a boy and had accepted the fact that I would have four children, which was a bit overwhelming to me. I again saw the giant pregnancy test but it had not been used. I focused on the positive/negative symbols.

Interpretation

Based on this dream I suspect that I am reviewing some aspect of my life/life situation that has turned out differently than I anticipated. It was received as a potential rebirth, or new life path (pregnancy) but then this never manifested (miscarriage). 14 weeks indicates the time of conception (when the pregnancy occurred). There was no insurance (trust) because I was resistant to it and felt “forced” into the situation. I thought about the loss of this potential path (pregnancy) and how I never developed an attachment to the baby (potential new life). The giant pregnancy test indicates I feel that this life situation is really “testing” me. The final unused pregnancy test indicates that this “test” is not over and asks the question, “Are you ready?”.

Dream: Burning Desert

I was in a desert with a black man. It felt like Africa but I have no idea where it was or if it was an actual place on Earth. We were standing next to a crystal clear lake. It reminded me of a glacial lake in its coloring. The man held in his hand a giant, red crab. It was huge, about the size of a small dog. The crab was dead and the man was taking large amounts of flesh out of it’s claw and eating it. The flesh was cooked and resembled dark meat cooked turkey. As he ate the crab meat another man was explaining that this crab was unique. Without it the people of this place would starve. Then he directed me to the lake. There was a crane-like, white bird that stood nearly as tall as me. He told me to look in the water. I saw thin, silvery fish about a foot long each. The fish, he said, would attack and eat the crane if he got too deep into the water, eating the crane’s under belly. In my mind I was thinking, “crotch eating fish.” lol He said the fish were the main food of the crab.

I went to a rocky outcropping and peered into the water at the fish. They were easy to see in the clear water. Far beneath them and just out of sight was the outline of a much bigger fish. I backed away thinking, “I better not fall in. If the little fish will eat my crotch no telling what that bigger one will do.” LOL

The man and I walked away from the lake and into the desert. It was very quiet, no wind and quite cool. There were small rocks dotting the landscape and the earth, a very light sand color, seemed very hard packed. He pointed in the distance. I could see the charred remains of some scraggly looking, short trees. He said that a huge fire came through and destroyed the forest leaving nothing but what we were looking at. It was quite desolate but the feeling was that when the rains came it would begin to rejuvenate.

I followed the man and some others to a building. It resembled a hotel but seemed to be a place where college students stayed. I was to stay with a group there. I remember laying down in a bed and being informed of how long I would stay, though now I don’t recall what I was told. I remember everyone was dark skinned and it seemed very foreign to me.

giant_red_crab_640_19

Interpretation

I see this dream as further reflection of my thoughts and feelings prior to bed. The black man was a guide or aspect of me. I am feeling lonely and isolated (desert). I am questioning my tenacity and perseverance (the crab). Can I endure this period in my life and the challenges it presents? The crystal clear lake in the midst of the desert indicates that I am seeking peace and inner solace. The fish are ideas and insights from my subconscious. The white crane symbolizes motherly love and happiness. The ideas and insight (fish) eat the underbelly of the crane (motherly love and happiness) if the crane descends too far into the lake (inner solace). The fish (ideas) fuel my perseverance (crab).

When I look for inner peace and solace (the lake) I see something scary deep in my subconscious (big fish) and worry it will further eat away at me. I fear something related to life security and feelings of safety (crotch = root chakra) and do not want to risk something bigger being stirred up.

There has been a recent transformation (fire) that has left me with only the charred remains of what I once was. New growth will come with the rain (forgiveness, grace, purification). I am in the midst of learning something new (college), so new I feel out of place and tired from the enormity of the situation I put myself in (foreign place and laying in bed).

The complexity of the dream symbols scream inner conflict. The very things I desire and am being led to explore (inner peace and solace; ideas and insight from my subconscious) are eating at the underbelly of that which I cling to (being a mother and finding happiness in that aspect of my life).

No wonder I woke hearing, “How can we live when our world stops turning?”

by

Nightmare: Attacked by a Dustpan

Laughing at the post title? LOL Well, it’s true.

The last two nights I have not slept well – up like every hour or so. Fitful sleep. I blame it on the temperatures. Today it will be in the 80’s here in Texas. In February. BIG eyeroll.

Dream: Attacked by a Dustpan

In the dream I was in an unfamiliar house walking around a living area. There were others with me and the discussion was about me retrieving a photo album from a armoire. The house and everything in it was owned by an old woman. She had recently died.

As I was walking over to the armoire, someone mentioned they thought the house was haunted. I was feeling uneasy and looking around to make sure nothing was off as I went to get the album. I heard voices whispering to me, “It’s haunted. It’s haunted. She’s gonna be mad.”

As I opened the armoire I suddenly knew the old woman did not want me to touch her stuff. She wanted it all left alone. It was as if she was yelling, “Leave it alone!” I touched the photo album and suddenly was overcome with terror. I began to scream at the top of my lungs and as I looked up there was this white dustpan floating above my head. It began to come down as if to hit me on the head. I put my arms up to protect myself, still screaming.

Interpretation

When I woke up I could still see the dustpan from the dream. I was not scared, though, but a bit shaken up. I don’t have nightmares very often and this one, well it is the craziest nightmare I’ve ever had. lol

My interpretation of this dream stems from another experience I had a couple of nights ago. I didn’t write about it because I didn’t know what to make of it. I have had some sudden memories just come into my mind out of seemingly nowhere. They aren’t dreams, they are actual memories. Memories of things I did or experienced. When? Where? I don’t know.

One such memory came on suddenly and left me feeling quite a bit like this dream did. I almost became terrified, but stopped myself, falling into my heart space. Unfortunately, my heart space effectively blocked most of the memory so that all I am left with now are fleeting images and feelings.

The memory I have is of me looking directly at myself. An exact duplicate of me. When I saw her/me I Knew she was going to kill me, or at least that is how it felt. Thus, the fear reaction. She was smiling at me and only slightly different from me in appearance. Her hair was longer and she seemed much younger. There was absolute certainty that my life was ending and it would be because of her. That is all I can recover of the memory/experience, though.

There was also a sensation of losing my mind that accompanied this memory. I felt like I was on the verge of a psychotic break of massive proportions. This is what ultimately caused me to run to my heart space. It was very unsettling and I still cannot understand its cause or meaning.

Maybe I have an evil twin in another dimension somewhere? lol 🙂

So, I think this dream is about this other me. The old woman is the “old” me. She “died” and does not want me to retrieve her memories and her past (the photo album). I am in her house (body) and she wants me to leave. So she is haunting me (repressed memories/emotions/etc). I could not find the meaning of dustpan in dreammoods.com but I found the symbolism of a broom. A broom indicates a need to clean up one’s act and resolve past issues. Perhaps my reaction (terror) to the dustpan comes from feeling forced to take on her issues as my own.

by

Busy Morning: 6 OBEs

Active morning from 4am to 6:30am. I had 6 OBEs one right after the other.

Lucid to OBE: Ghost Feet

I was sitting at the foot of my bed looking at my own feet but they were see through, like ghost feet. I was laughing about this and putting my hands through them. At the time I was semi-lucid quickly gaining lucidity. I then stood up and my bedroom transformed into a garage. I was standing next to a car. I took a cloth in my hand and gently wiped the hood in a circular motion, like I was waxing it. It began to hum like a crystal singing bowl. Delighted, I pushed harder and wiped faster and it hummed a deep, rich tone. I saw someone watching and said, “Quick take a video!” That’s when it hit me. You can’t take a video of an OBE! Why was I always trying to prove my experiences? I laughed at myself then, still “waxing” the car hood which was a deep, red color and completely lucid. My laughter brought me back into my body.

OBE: Classical Music

Sat up in my bed and quickly got out. Found that I was in my childhood bedroom from when I was 10 years old. I was still thinking of the music I had made with the car and in my mind I began to hum a tune, classical music – Rachmaninoff. I wanted my humming to grow into the full symphony and surround me like is normal but it never did. So I went around the corner to the other bedroom, the one I occupied in my teen years. I saw the bed and leaped upon it, briefly amused at the thought that I may end up body slamming some unsuspecting person. Turns out no one was in the bed and I felt so comfy that I “fell asleep” returning to my body.

OBE: Unwanted Guests

I shifted back OOB and opened my eyes. I was in bed listening to my husband talking. The room was golden lit and even my husband looked a big gold. He was telling me he was going to stay in the bed with me and that it would be that way from now on. I protested, telling him I wanted my space. He wouldn’t leave and his energy totally repelled me. So I got up and left the room. I walked through an unfamiliar house ending up in a room where the bathroom was not separated by any walls. The sink had been removed from the wall and was laying on it’s side. The toilet was flush with the floor and resembled a sink more than a toilet. Water was leaking around the edges. I wondered about the toilet. How would one use it? Stand over it? I positioned myself over it to check when a woman walked in saying, “Good morning!” Confused, I stared at her. She was short, blonde and young and very pretty. I recognized her as one of my husband’s friends and remembered an entire scene (from a dream?) where she and her Russian friend were visiting us. I said to her, “What are you doing here!?” She said, “I stayed the night, remember?” I didn’t. I then realized my husband must have invited her after I fell asleep. I said aloud, “I wish he would talk to me before he invites people to stay the night!” The woman looked shocked and backed away. I paused, at first worried and then realized it was too late and she would get over any upset. Then I yelled at my husband, “Who pulled out the sink? And what is wrong with the toilet?” lol

Note: Turns out the type of toilet I saw exists. They are called squat toilets and are common in Asia! haha

squat toilet.jpg

OBE: Ready to Go

I returned to my body slightly disoriented. Within moments I exited and once again sat up in my childhood bedroom. I began to sing almost immediately as I stood up and headed toward the living room. As I sang I began to pull blankets/pillows off of me. It felt like there were layers covering my face and obstructing my vision. When I was able to see I was standing in front of a pile of Christmas gifts. Where the tree should have been was an empty space but this didn’t bother me. I noted the presents, briefly looking at their contents which was mostly candy and then went toward the door. I went through it and ended up outside. It was dark and I still felt like I had blankets over my head. I continued to sing and kicked a blanket off my leg and pulled more off my head. I felt myself rising up, up, up. I sang to the universe that I was ready to go Home, that I knew my family awaited me there. I could literally feel their love and my love for them. Pure joy! I rose higher and higher, singing joyfully about seeing them again and telling them I was ready, my life had been lived, I was finished, fulfilled. I sang my truth, my heart bursting and there was no doubt in my mind that I was rising up and leaving my body for the last time.

OBE: Drummer Boy

I stopped rising up and felt the familiar energy of re-entry. No deterred, I shifted back and once again found myself in my childhood bedroom. As I left the bedroom, I began to sing. This time I sang the Little Drummer Boy Christmas song. Why I did this, I don’t know, but I was very happy about it. lol I entered the living area and again pulled obstructions off my face. They cleared quickly and in front of me were the presents again, piled high in the right corner and then spread in front of me. The tree was still missing and I remember thinking it was just dwarfed by all the present. I opened one of the presents and pulled out a peanut butter Christmas tree candy. Wrapper in hand, I walked out the front door. It was light outside and I was greeted by the most spectacular sight. Both the sun and the moon were out at the same time. I could see the stars behind clouds suggesting a sunset while at the same time feel the warmth of the still present sun on my back. The visual was amazing and I stood there in awe. I said aloud, “How can the sun and moon be out at the same time?” I was about to eat my peanut butter candy when I was pulled back to my body. I said to my guides, “I wanted to eat that candy…” LOL

OBE: Fog Horn

I re-entered my body smoothly and shifted positions, thinking of the OBEs trying to remember them all. Somehow I ended up back OOB, though I don’t recall any vibrations or shifting. I was sitting in the living area with the presents. My son was with me and we were sorting through them. I took one and he took another and I said, “I’ll take yours and you can have mine.” We both opened the boxes. Inside mine was a strange shaped horn. I picked it up and blew it and it made a nice horn sound. I said, “It’s a fog horn!” I put it back in the box and looked at the rest of the contents. A wooden recorder was inside. I was happy with my gifts.

by

Cabbage Soup

Remember I mentioned my yummy cabbage soup? Well, figured I would share my recipe for it since I’m sure you love cabbage! hahaha I know, it’s not the most favored of veggies but it provides massive amounts of vitamins K & C. A veggie with a punch!

I stumbled across the cabbage soup diet when I was searching for a good cleanse that didn’t starve me to death. I wasn’t into losing weight or fat, so I just took a cabbage soup recipe I liked (there are tons online) and tweaked it. BTW it does serve as an awesome detox/cleanse. I’ve used it many times with great results.

Cabbage Soup

Ingredients

1/4 cup butter
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3 large carrots, sliced
1 large white onion, chopped
4 stalks of celery, sliced
1 container sliced fresh mushrooms
1/2 head of green cabbage, chopped
3 medium potatoes, chopped into 1 inch cubes(peel on or off)
1 large turkey kielbasa, sliced (optional)
2 vegetable bouillon cubes
2 Tbsp parsley (fresh is better)
1 Tbsp ground coriander
1 tsp salt or to taste
1 tsp pepper or to taste
8 cups water

Directions

Chop all the veggies ahead of time and set aside.

In large stock pot melt 1/4 cup of butter and cook celery, mushrooms, garlic and chopped onions until onions are translucent. Add the spices and then add the cabbage, carrots and potatoes. The cabbage should fill the pot so if you didn’t chop enough, don’t worry you can add more once you add the liquid.

Add 8 cups of water and the bouillon. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 30 minutes or until cabbage is translucent.

If you like meat, my favorite thing to do is add some sliced turkey kielbasa. Just toss it in when you are cooking the celery and onions. My kids always fight over the sausage in the soup. 🙂

Crock Pot Recipe

Same ingredients as above without the butter. Just toss it all in and cook on low for 6-8 hours. If you like butter, then you can saute the onions, celery and mushrooms (and sausage) beforehand. I am lazy so I skip that step. lol You can also try substituting onion soup mix for the seasoning.

Fish Soup Alternative

This can also be made into a yummy fish soup recipe. Cook it all up (minus the potatoes) and substitute 1 head of Bok Choy for the green cabbage. You will also saute the Bok Choy, with the onions, celery and carrots. Add liquid and bouillon. Bring to a boil and simmer until carrots are soft. Then bring it back to a boil. Drop 4 frozen tilapia filets one at a time into the soup. The fish will thaw and cook within 5-8 minutes.

My family loves this version of the soup. When I first made it I was trying the GAPS diet and fish soup was one of the recipes. We have been fans ever since.

by

Pumpkin Protein Bars

Remember how I have been all into food? Well, happy people eat, and so I AM.

I’ve always been into “clean eating”, which just basically means eat good, natural foods and stay away from processed food. This means I make dinner every night from scratch (or try to) and make snacks the same way. One of my favorite go-to snacks is the protein bar. I’ve experimented with all kinds and found one recently by accident that is a winner all around. Sharing it with you in case you want to join me in a little healthy self-indulgence!

pumpkin-bars

Image from glutenfreedaddy.com

Pumpkin Protein Bars

Modified from the original recipe found on Gluten Free Daddy.

This was modified on accident, actually. I didn’t read the recipe correctly and ended up adding a whole can of pumpkin and forgetting the baking powder. This turned these bars into a very, yummy pumpkin-pie-like bar that makes it very hard to eat just one. My accidental modification turned out to be the BEST snacking bar I have ever made. Problem? I can’t keep the rest of my family away from them. It being gluten free is an accident, too. We like gluten! 🙂

Ingredients
  • 1 Cup Oat Flour
  • 1 ½ scoops Vanilla Protein Powder
  • ½ tsp Salt
  • 2 tsp Cinnamon
  • ¼ tsp Allspice
  • ¼ tsp Ground Ginger
  • 1/2 Cup Stevia or Splenda (you can do 1/3c brown sugar as well)
  • 3 Eggs
  • 1 15oz Can Pumpkin Puree
  • 1 tsp Vanilla
  • ½ Cup Pecans or Walnuts, chopped (optional)
  • ½ Cup White or Dark Chocolate Chips, melted (optional)
Instructions
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8×8 glass baking dish.
  • Instructions from original recipe say mix wet and dry ingredients separately and then combine. I just toss it all in and mix. No need to go in any order! 🙂 It honestly makes no difference – try it and see for yourself.
  • Bake for 35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. They will be the consistency of pumpkin pie. Yum! Drizzle with white chocolate if you want but I don’t do that. It is fine just the way it is.

Since it has whey protein in it you have to keep it refrigerated. It should keep for up to a week, if it lasts that long. I haven’t tried freezing them but they should freeze well.

 

by

Revelations from an Encounter with my Grandfather

I met my grandfather in the dreamstate this morning. The meeting was very different than previous ones.

Dream: Revelations from an Encounter with my Grandfather 

I recall visiting with a young man whose energy I recognized as my grandfather’s.

History: My grandfather passed away in 2005 at the age of 79. He refused to eat or drink, in effect slowly starving himself. Later he was often seen in Spirit at the location of my family home built on land he passed onto me. My daughter, born in 2008, saw him walking down the stairs and called him “the funny old man”. She also saw him as a baby, following him with her eyes. At these times her electronic toys would go off from within a closed closet.

During our visit, the conversation came mostly telepathically which I then translated into words in order to remember what was said.

He told me that he was currently in an incarnation. His body once again male – Caucasian with dark hair and eyes. He told me quite enthusiastically that his intention was to follow a path he was unable to follow in his past life (the life with me as his granddaughter). With this he showed me how, in his past life, he had been in the Navy but remained at a lower rank, unable to go any higher because of his education and individual self-limiting beliefs. He saw his inability to provide for his family as a great failing of his, although from my perspective he did just fine and well in this endeavor. In his current incarnation he planned to experience success in career. I saw his intention in a projection. An image of a man dressed in Naval dress attire with white gloves and looking very professional and patriotic. There was a sense of great pride with this image. I could feel his excitement and enthusiasm, his heart bursting with all that he hoped to accomplish.

I understood fully then the inner turmoil of my grandfather, something he hid from everyone, maybe even his own wife. In creating his next life, he chose to work on this one area based upon conclusions he drew upon evaluation and review of that life. Had it been my life, I would have focused on some area completely different. But it was not my life and in his communicating his reasoning to me, I had no doubt that his choice was sound. It was very clear to me that the lessons we choose for our incarnations are merely an exploration into some area of self. Nothing more. We truly are our own judge and jury.

There was much more passed onto me in this encounter. Most of it merely impressions and feelings now. However, I took a good look at him standing before me. He looked nothing like the grandfather I knew.

The encounter expanded my understanding of how incarnating works. From the location where we met and communicated, the incarnation was as if it has already occurred and completed. There was not a time element, yet I continued to try and rationalize it in my mind. I was doing the math. If he died in 2005 then he would only be 12 years old, not the man standing before me and most definitely not an officer in the Navy as he had communicated. It was as if he had presented me with his Book of Life and we had examined but one chapter in the thousands it contained.

I was left feeling for my grandfather very differently than I felt while he was alive. In life I loved him but our experiences together defined that love. It was mired with expectation, experience and condition. In the dream I felt the love but it was not limited by those things. It just was. We were as if old friends traveling a path together. He was no longer my grandfather but my spiritual “sibling”, equal yet shaped by his individual experiences. I could see his life tapestry but it did not define him. Instead it was his work of art, his creation and something to behold and be in awe of. I shared in his excitement for his creation as he did in mine.

 

by

Dance in the Rain: Choose Joy

You may be wondering if I’m still doing the happy dance over here. Well, yes and no. Yes, I am still feeling silly. Singing and dancing, playing around with my kids, just enjoying life. Then there is the “no” part. I only said “no” because yesterday morning I woke with a strange “off” feeling in stark contrast to how I have been waking every morning for the past week. Ultimately, it was a premonition of things to come. My husband triggered me and I spent a good part of the morning working with intention and pulling myself out of the heavier energy I allowed myself to fall into. But I  did it. 🙂

This song came to me while I was reversing the energy flow and shifting back into my happy place.

I went to bed feeling happy. 🙂 This morning I awoke feeling happy. Silly songs were going through my mind and I felt like dancing. Honestly, this personality change reminds me of my “drunk” self. I’m a happy drunk, a silly drunk, a talkative, laughing, high-as-a-kite drunk. Some say you become your “real” self when you’re drunk. Perhaps it is true? And now I am just being my real self when in the past I was unable to fully embrace her?

Here is a song that was going through my head when I woke up this morning. Makes me want to spin around and around and around while smiling really big.

So are you tired of my happy posts yet? Anyone disgusted, jealous, or just can’t stand to read my posts lately? (gagging sound) I totally understand. I’ve done a bit of gagging in my life and been completely put off by being around people who are “overly happy to the point of sickening”. I get it. I do. Hate me, pass up my happy posts. I’ll still be happy over here dancing to songs from the Minion’s movie. To be totally honest, I never thought this kind of extended happy feeling could be maintained. I do reality checks often (am I dreaming?) and turns out this is real.

You may also be turned off by my posts because your reality right now is in stark contrast to my own. I’ve been there. It’s tough. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I love you. I hope you can feel it.

The energies right now are brutal! First, there were several intensely powerful gamma ray bursts. Then came the geomagnetic storms that are only now subsiding.

planetary-k-index

We are being tumbled and thrown about in a raging ocean of intense energy – energy of extremes – positive/negative, protons and neutrons – cellular restructuring, crystallizing. Just when you come up for air you are pummeled and pushed below the water’s surface again.

By the way, I’m not immune, either. Not only was I triggered by my husband, but my neck has been feeling strange, energy swirling up and around the back of it and at moments causing me to feel as if I have a sore throat on the outside. Try to imagine that…. My lips are peeling like I burned them (I know weird). I’m super hungry and thirsty. So yeah, I have some side-effects, too.

I’ve been asked by others how to ride this wave. No you are not dying. You are transforming and this WILL pass.

My advice has been listen to your body. If you’re tired, rest. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re thirsty, drink up. If your mind is slowly sending you into a deep, never-ending despair or taking you around in circles, get out of it and into your heart. If you can’t manage that, then occupy your mind with something mentally challenging. Crossword puzzle? Or do something grounding but active like house cleaning, walking, strenuous exercise for short periods.

Sometimes, though, you may just have to allow whatever it is that needs to surface to come up. Then let it go. Harder than it sounds, I know. It takes practice. I am by no means a master at it. It took me all morning yesterday to “let go” and “hold space” for myself and my husband. Setting an intention helps.

Hot salt baths with essential oils are one of my favorite ways to handle intense energies. Sometimes they incite an emotional release. It’s okay. Cry in heaving sobs. Get it out.

Don’t forget to turn to what brings you joy in life. This can be a masterful way of integrating the energies. If you have children, surround yourself in their hugs. Snuggle. Watch a movie together. Veg out. Love to sing? Sing, even if it a sorrowful song. Drawing, painting, gardening, dancing….do whatever brings your heart joy even if at the time you don’t feel that joy.

A question I’ve seen a lot of lately:

I’ve been on this ascension path for what seems like forever! When will it stop?

Hate to tell you, but there is no “end”. We are always ascending. And descending. It’s a spiral. The pain, the discomfort, the struggle will stop when you are done with the experience. Think back to when you were a child. You were curious. You explored your world. You spent hours sometimes just exploring one particular object or space. Sometimes you went back over and over to this space or activity. When did you stop? When you were no longer interested in it. Then you moved on to explore something else. This is how we are as Spirit – forever children in awe and fascination with life and existence. Though you may feel you are “done” and have lost interest in the ascension path, your higher self may still have more to explore and is currently fascinated with whatever experience you find yourself in.

For me, I had to surrender. Completely surrender. I’ve been traveling this path all.my.life, but intensely so since 2003 and even more intensely since 2014. It was only recently that I finally surrendered and I only did so when backed into a corner. I thought for sure I was going to do something crazy, lose my mind, die the most horrendous death. I was ready to commit myself, to take any and all psychiatric medications just to make the pain stop. I had many previous “death” moments, but nothing like this.

On the other side of it, I can see how I chose the path, the pain and despair. Once I surrendered I saw that I could choose love, joy, happiness. That it is an intention. Though I had set intentions previously, I never truly understood the process until now. It is not a mental activity – Think what you want and focus on it and it will come to you. It’s from the heart. It’s a feeling. A full allowance and openness from the heart. There is no doubt, no second guessing, no what if’s. Setting an intention from the mind opens you up to all of the booby traps of the mind and leads to failure. It’s a lot of work, too. You have to keep thinking, focusing, re-stating intention. When it comes from the heart it just IS.

I hope this all makes sense and provides you with some kind of direction, some kind of solace as you ride the storm. If anything, listen to Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head. Hopefully it will make you smile.

 

by

Happy Streak Continues

I awoke in a good mood. Again. Hehe Sadly, my daughter had to stay home from school today. She has a fever of 100 degrees, a headache and sore throat. 😦 I’m sure she will be fine but she can’t be at school with a fever.

As my day gets started I am feeling excitement welling up from within again. It has no object of focus. It is just Beingness and something I can’t believe I haven’t embraced every second of every day of my life.

With this excitement comes some quirkiness. My mind is not focused on any one thing, really. It is fairly open and flowing, touching only on what is necessary in the moment. With humor, my guidance deposits little messages and I laugh in return because they can be so funny in their choice of a medium.

For example, already this morning I have gotten messages in the form of music. One that was surprising and resulted in bubbly laughter on my part was the message, “Oooh baby, baby, baby, baby…” If you grew up in the 80’s you might recognize the song. I did. Straight away.

I am still laughing over here. Salt n’ Pepa, Push It….really? LOL I remember listening to this song when I was in 5th grade. I had no idea what it meant at the time. If my mom had known she would have not allowed me to listen to it. I must have listened to it quite a bit because I instantly knew it when I heard it in my mind and began dancing to it. Check out the lyrics if you are unfamiliar or just need a reminder. Just a warning – can’t you hear the music’s pumpin’ hard like I wish you would? HA!

I’m dancing quite a bit for no reason, too. Also motioning with my hands and speaking in Light Language. I cleared space using Light Language and crystals yesterday. Fun times!

I have a Skype session scheduled for Saturday. I have yet to use Skype for anything except messaging so I am a bit unsure how it works. I need practice. Anyone want to practice with me? If I can find my tarot cards (kids got into them) I can give a reading or maybe just be silly and dance, too. Feeling pretty silly over here anyway. I have to get my new laptop set up for Skype, too. Hoping it’s a simple process.

I’m really not sure how to channel all this happy energy. What do you do when you feel energetically high like this? I’ve never had it last this long so usually I don’t do much of anything except enjoy it. But this time I feel like I need to channel it into something. Art doesn’t feel right. Dancing? Well that’s getting a bit warmer. Singing? Warmer. Hmmmm. I promise, I’m not manic depressive, at least I don’t think so……

Here’s another song I was listening to this morning. Gave me a good laugh. Noticing a pattern here. Hmmm Rap? Me? LOL Thinking I’m gonna dance…..F*ckin’ Awesome! Warning explicit language….hehe

 

 

 

 

 

 

by

LaLa Land

Today feels so random to me. That’s probably why I keep forgetting things. For example, I didn’t know it was Tuesday or what time it was. When I looked at the clock and saw it was almost noon I did a double take. Huh? Then, suddenly I came back to myself (where had I been?) and realized not only had I missed a meeting for my daughter at the school, but I had forgotten to pay a bill and misplaced a check! So for about thirty minutes I was in a tizzy trying to locate myself in this body and place long enough to get a grip. LOL

The forgetfulness is becoming more and more common. It is not just forgetting to do things, it is forgetting days of the week, time, people, responsibilities, etc. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s more like I just don’t think. The bill I was suppose to pay, that would have never happened two years ago. I would have paid it in advance and checked it off in my mind as “done”. And the missed meeting? I would have been there and not needed a reminder. Now I just don’t seem to have those mental bookmarks. They’re gone. Vanished. I misplaced my mind somewhere….

Another thing that doesn’t happen is I don’t get overwhelmed and angry at myself for forgetting things like I use to. The bill today will be late. We will get a $25 late fee. The old me would have spent hours angry at herself for screwing up and wasting money, etc. The new me? I think, “It’s just money. What’s done is done” and move on back into my little happy place. Hehe

I try not to think of all the late fees I’ve accrued in the past year. Not to mention completely forgotten debts, appointments….thoughts. Eek! LOL

I’m a much happier person for the absentmindedness. I don’t miss how I use to be.

What do I think about now days? Hmmmm. Food. lol Well, not just food, but I like to cook and then eat it, so yeah, food. Today I’ve mostly been thinking about how super excited I am for no reason at all. I’ve been trying to put my finger on the reason but all that comes up are random happy thoughts. For example, I made this awesome cabbage soup last night (yeah food again) and was thinking how great it is and I am for making something so great. Other things that make me happy are nature. I love it outside and have been outside a lot lately. It feels like Spring. Blue skies, temps in the 70’s, birds singing. I close my eyes and feel the breeze and just sit in the sun, soaking it up not really thinking about anything. Then I think how awesome it would be to have a friend to share all these happy things with and then that passes and I am back to just Being, soaking up the sun and hugs from my son. I thought briefly about making a video of being happy and then just laughed at myself. I just don’t feel like doing anything or thinking anything. I just want to BE. Ever tried it? It’s amazing!!!

So see why I am absentminded? Getting caught up in happy all the time can make you forget stuff, well the stuff that isn’t important anyway. Like bills….lolol

Which brings to mind the spiritual stuff alongside my happiness. A night or so ago I was outside and got a visit from Habib. LOL Whose that? I don’t know, some man in spirit who paid me a visit. He was super close, on my left, as if talking directly in my ear which meant his voice was audible more than normal and very deep. He spoke slowly and gave me advice. What? I don’t know now. Something spiritual, my mind is blank…Ha! Anyway, he came and then left and one of my guides said, “Did you forget you could do that?” What? Hear Spirit? Nah, just didn’t expect some foreign dude named Habib. lol Then there was this “understanding” that it might be a good time to revisit some of my left-behind abilities and skills.

Lo and behold I have been contacted twice this week for assistance. Twice in a week when normally I get maybe twice a year….I’ve been busy transforming I guess.

Anyway, you can see I’m a bit up in the clouds today. Again. Lalalalalalalala….LaLa Land is what I was trying to say. But this is not normal LaLa Land for me. This is like I am celebrating life and open to anything. Really a nice feeling to have. Bring it on!