Category Archives: Dreams

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A Glimpse Behind-the-Scenes

Yesterday a friend on FB posted a link to a video interview of Mary Reed, author of The Journey of an Unwitting Mystic. I have never read the book so watched the video because my friend and others were saying great things about her.

My reaction was positive. I enjoyed every minute of the interview, especially her accounts of being cradled in the arms of Jesus and reunited with Source and her experience of complete surrender after an attempted suicide attempt. I saw so many parallels to my own experiences but also recognized just how unique each and every one of us is when it comes to our spiritual journey.

After watching the video I asked my Companion if I could receive Knowing like Mary. I heard back, “Yes, of course. What do you want to Know?” I said, “I don’t know, whatever I need to know to help me understand my journey and mission here.” I received confirmation that my request would be granted. I thought no more about it.

Lucid Dream: Soul Retrieval

I slept well and woke at 5:30am from a string of dreams indicating that I was learning how to cross between dimensions, how to analyze the energy in order to detect when I could cross and what to expect when I did. At the time I didn’t understand that I was learning a lesson. Instead I was mulling over my dreams wondering what they meant and finding myself confused. All along this song chorus was repeating in my head, “You and me, we’re beautiful, beautiful. We all, we all we’re going to be alright.”

Somehow I drifted off to sleep. I ended up inside a large house. It was hard to see, like the lights were out, and I was with a woman and her husband. It was apparent to me that I had been awakened by them but I didn’t know why yet. They were rushing about readying for something and I recall feeling I needed to get ready for work. Then I noted the time. It was far too early to go to work, yet it felt like mid-morning for some reason. I followed the couple into their bedroom and waited there. I noticed the dresser drawers had safety pins on them instead of knobs. I inspected them closely, curious as to why this would be, and saw the knobs had come loose and the safety pins were the replacements. These were the largest safety pins I had ever seen! I accidentally broke one as I fiddled with it, too.

Then I was laying on the bedroom floor but at the same time I felt to be in my own bed. In hindsight I realize now that I was firmly anchored to my reality while venturing into someone else’s reality. A woman was next to me on the floor and her husband was in the bed to our right. For some reason I felt like the woman next to me was my ex-MIL, though I know this is not accurate.

Some conversation went on between the man and woman and then a chair seemed to throw itself across the bedroom into the dresser. The woman reacted as if it had happened before. Both the man and woman were distressed. I asked the woman some questions because I sensed another presence in the room, one that was very upset and filled with many conflicting emotions. The woman told me who she thought the earthbound Spirit was. I asked her to tell the woman in Spirit what she needed to tell her. The woman was shaking with fear and said, “She can’t hear me. I can’t talk to her.” I told her she could and hesitantly the woman whispered to me, “I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

Sensing the emotional turbulence building in the energy that composed the earthbound spirit, I said to the spirit, “She says she’s sorry. It was an accident. She’s sorry!” There came back such an energetic rebuttal that I knew I had my work cut out for me. I sensed fear from my right, my fear, but ignored it and seemed to know exactly what to do.

I sat up and began to address the spirit though I could not see her or anything in the room. Light Language began to pour out of me in song and word. The sounds were beautiful yet there is no way my physical body could have produced them. Two distinct sounds, one low and one high, came out of my mouth. Eventually I even heard more than two. I recognized this as I sang and was impressed but knew not to focus on it and just continue to sing to the woman in spirit.

As I sang the woman in spirit resisted. The energy seemed to build up like a wall in front of me. It felt as if the spirit was about to hurl a huge wave of nasty at me and the woman on the floor. The man in the bed said, “I can’t sleep with this noise, I’m leaving.” He got up and I felt him leave the room. The feeling from him was fear. I turned to the woman next to me and asked, “How long has it been?” The woman replied, “Nine years. I’m so sorry. It was an accident (still talking to me)” Then she retreated and left the room, too. She did not want to deal with any of the energy coming from the woman in spirit.

I just kept singing. With the focus of her upset gone, the spirit began to calm a bit and that is when everything she held in her energy came into me. I knew her story and why she felt the way she felt. Without being able to control any of it, the only thing I could do was sing as tears just rolled out of my eyes like rain.

I still couldn’t see her but her story told me why she was where she was. Somehow her death had been caused by the woman who had left the room. In her death the woman in spirit had been unable to get to her baby, who was still alive. She blamed the woman who caused her death for her inability to get to her baby. The emotion of this was turbulent – anger, confusion, desperation, love, grief, hatred, despair – all swirling around chaotically and all hitting me full on in my heart center.

Again, I felt this fear coming from my right. I knew it was mine but ignored it again, focusing on the Light Language. By this time I was using my hands and seeming to do some kind of energetic surgery on the space in front of me. I still couldn’t see the woman in spirit, though. It was just blackness and the emotional turbulence she carried.

soulMy guidance came through, then, because I was wondering how long this would last. I had been crying and singing Light Language the entire time yet the spirit seemed intent on clinging to her self-created reality. I heard, “She is leaving.” I looked to see if I could detect the spark of light that often accompanies this, but saw nothing. Instead I felt the ridge of energy lessen and then crumble down to reveal a very small, grief-filled energy behind.

Then I noticed I was holding two thin slips of paper in my hand. It just appeared out of thin air. I saw writing on it in two columns. Each column had one word. The words had been crossed out to the point that I could only read a few. I knew the paper had significance. I held it up to the spirit who I could still only sense, and began to tear in in pieces. I kept speaking in Light Language throughout.

She was listening to me so I stopped the Light Language and began to talk to her. She was asking me why – Why did it have to be this way? Why could this woman live while she had to die? Why, why, why. On and on. The most concise and well-worded explanation came out of my mind/mouth. I explained how duality works, how we each choose our experience, how it all works out in the end. I said it so perfectly. I wish I could remember my words but all that is left now is awe at myself. I once again sensed the doubt and fear off to my right but ignored it. The woman in spirit was listening and accepting what I said.

Then my focus was on the space in front of the dresser in the bedroom. I began to sing in Light Language again and knew I was mending tears in the energy of the space. It was like a jagged crack in the energy and I knew somehow this was done by the spirit. Like it was a doorway of some kind that needed to be closed. I literally sewed it up with Light Language. I saw the energy as threads of light crisscrossing back and forth across the opening until it was sealed. It was fascinating!

I continued to sing in Light Language. Tears continued to flow out of my eyes and I felt them also coming out of my physical eyes. Again I was acutely aware of being in two places at once. I knew somehow it was not time to leave yet. I had to stay, but I could sense my departure coming.

That is when I felt an energy to the right of my physical body. I turned toward it and recognized a small child, maybe 13 months old, standing over me. She was full of love and gratitude. I knew her message to me was, “Thank you!” I reached out and touched her and her body felt solid and soft, so real! I saw she was wearing a diaper and was fair skinned with fair hair. Just like my own children. The tears were streaming uncontrollably from my eyes. I could feel the wetness on my cheeks and noticed I could not breathe well. The love from this small child was overwhelming.

As the child departed I felt the timing was right to return to my body. As I left the other reality and entered into the in-between I was visited by a woman in spirit. She sent me, “Moira”, first. Then she said, “I love you. Thank you! I love you. I love you…” I came fully into my body while she sent this message, but I could sense her to my left up near the ceiling. Tears were still streaming out of my eyes. I knew this was the woman I had helped. She had made it and departed the lower astral and was ascending through the physical where she had stopped to tell me thank you. Wow.

GuardianAngelandBaby

Soul Retrieval Work

After she left and I was fully awake I could not control the tears. I was not sobbing or even feeling sorrowful, yet tears kept coming and coming. My pillow was soaked, my nose clogged. I had a headache. It was obvious I had been crying for a while.

I began to try and make sense of what I had just experienced. I wanted to know the full story but was advised that it was not necessary. I knew what I needed to and should not over-identify with the situation. I had done my job and now needed to release what I had taken on in order to help the woman. I had revealed her core wound by taking on some her her burden so that she could see it for herself. In doing so, I now needed to cleanse myself of it.

Eventually, I had to sit up because the tears were not stopping. I spoke in Light Language with the intent to finalize whatever I had done. After I did this, the tears finally stopped and I felt unburdened.

It was clear to me that my request from the night before had been granted. My Companion told me that I “work” every night and was allowed a glimpse of that work. He kept telling me, “We are proud of you.” At the time I didn’t care and eventually, after hearing it several times I told him, “I don’t care.” lol I was still over-identifying with the woman in spirit. As a mother, I understood her pain at losing her child so prematurely, even if it was her that died and not her child. The loss is the same.

For a time I had trouble grasping what I had just experienced. The perspectives of all parties were jumbled. Was it my ex-MIL? Her MIL? Me that was the perpetrator? It felt like all of them at once – confusing! Was the woman in spirit really me? Or was she elsewhere trapped and I came to assist? Why was it dark? Where was the light? Was I the light? Was it the lower astral realms where the spirit was trapped? That seemed likely…

Eventually I Knew that all of the experience, all perspectives, were me. It was just so obvious. To differentiate between her and me and them was a human tendency. The reality is that we are all One and the same. There is no separation. In that very lucid experience my perspective was all perspectives at once. That is why to try and make sense of it was not advised. No sense in human terms could be made of it.

The congratulations came again from my guidance. I heard, “Well done.” This time, I said, “Thank you.” I knew what they were referring to. It was that I ignored my fear, which I noticed several times, and stayed the course in order to complete the task at hand. I did not reject the emotions of the woman spirit despite how “scary” they appeared/felt. I embraced them, taking them on as my own so that she could see the truth and be set free by it. It was/is beautiful.

I felt this kind of work was better done from my position in a human body. I asked why. I received back that the lower realms where spirit becomes trapped are very dense, denser even than the realms of the living. Access from the “higher” realms is almost impossible. Those trapped there cannot see those coming from such a high vibration. However, when visiting from the realms of the living, the light carried via the human vessel is able to penetrate the lower realms, though even it takes time to be seen. It was apparent to me that the only way the woman in spirit would have ever seen me was for me to “lower” myself to her level by taking on her pain as my own. I had to be one with her first. My understanding is that it is easier to do this when occupying a physical body. It has something to do with being better able to handle the density of the emotion carried by earthbounds.

All of this is fascinating but at the same time very humbling. I feel deeply changed.

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Dream: Meeting a Friend

Had a very long, in-depth dream that seemed to span the entire night last night.

Dream: Meeting a Friend

The dream began with me meeting up with a friend from FB. He appeared younger than he does in his photos and in the dream I knew he was a teenager. He asked me “out” but it was not a date, it was more like an introduction to his life. He wanted to share some things with me. I agreed and we seemed transported to a house.

I felt to be up north somewhere and the area was very green with few trees. He introduced me to his mom and sister. There was also a dog, though I can’t recall what the dog looked like. I met his mom, who had light hair (blonde I think) and was very nice but left us alone most of the time we were there. I don’t recall seeing his sister but he spoke to me about her at length and showed me some of her old toys which were in excellent condition. These were toys from the 80’s and 90’s. I recall talking about My Little Pony and how much the toys are worth now as they are collectibles. I even held one of the ponies in my hand. This is the most vivid part of the dream.

There was a section of the dream where he was braiding hair and I was spraying on color in rainbows. It was odd because my friend had a very long mullet that he was braiding. Since both of us had blonde hair the color I sprayed on our hair appeared very bright.

He and I decided to venture into town and he drove me out of his neighborhood and into a town. I remember paying close attention to the roads we traveled as if I wanted to remember how to get back to his house. We parked the car in a parking area next to a highway overpass. I recall thinking he had the wrong idea about me and feeling a bit uncomfortable because we were in a car alone together.

The dream seems to blend in with my current life then, so I assume we were sharing info from our lives with one another. At one point I began to nod off as I was looking at my phone. When I “woke up” there was a group of people in the back seat of the car with us. I asked how long I had slept and he said he had slept too so he didn’t know.

There is a long section of the dream here that is hazy, probably because I was “dozing off” still. I remember getting out of the car and talking with the group of teens who had been in the back. We went inside a warehouse for a while and there was discussion of a rival gang who was threatening the teens.

The next thing I know I am with another man who I can’t see. I assume it is my Companion. He is asking me about my friend and wanted to know if I knew how to get back to his house. I told him I did and we drove the route back toward his house, only I took a wrong turn and we ended up by a large lake. I said, “This is wrong. There was no lake. We have to turn back.” So we turned around and I recall viewing the route we took from above, as if viewing a map. I remember saying the name of the street he lived on several times but I can’t recall it now. It was a four letter word, though. At one point we asked some people for directions and I recall seeing lots of water and avoiding falling into it.

I don’t remember ever getting back to my friend’s house. I ended up with a group of people standing over a grave. The grave was an elevated box filled with dirt. There was not enough dirt and we needed to finish filling it. I observed trash and other debris was in the grave and attempted to redistribute the dirt so that it was even. The mound in the center where the body was disturbed me and I remember thinking there was a smell but I never smelled anything. When I shoveled the dirt it looked a lot like compost and I could see heat radiating off of it. Eventually, though, the man in the grave sat up and began talking to us. He said he was hungry and tired of waiting. The man looked like my BIL and the trash in the grave began to look less like trash. I recall seeing several grilled cheese sandwiches and told him he should eat them.

Considerations

I have no idea what to think of this dream sequence. I slept really good and almost didn’t write it except that most of the dream involved a FB friend which is very unusual. This is the second night in a row now that I have had an online friend in my dreams. I am not sure why this is happening as I have not set any intentions to meet up with anyone. I was not very lucid in this dream and am surprised I remembered so much of it.

My main focus is on the rainbow hair painting part and the My Little Pony (MLP) part. They seem interconnected. MLP always has rainbows in it. lol Ponies are symbolic of unexplored and underdeveloped power/potential. I loved the ponies as a child and have over 50 ponies from my childhood wrapped and stored in my home. So the ponies could represent a discussion about my childhood. Rainbows represent good fortune but can also symbolize the bridge between the physical and spiritual. It can also be a message to look at the positive side of things. Braiding hair represents determination. It could also indicate the braiding of the the spiritual and physical (embodiment).

My attention is also drawn to the map in my mind and all the time spent traveling roads. It could be there was a discussion about my life path and trying to find Home. The street name still eludes me but it was something like Ipal or Apal. Not sure. Maybe it represents “apple” which has to do with knowledge and wisdom like the apple in the Garden of Eden.

The grave section of the dream is also strange. Why was my BIL in the grave? lol Seeing a grave indicates there is an issue deep in my subconscious that needs to be put to rest. Since there is garbage in it, it could be the issue is particularly repulsive to me. Since I am trying to cover it with dirt, maybe I am trying to cover it up? My BIL could be a clue to the issue, but I have no idea. It was my BIL that just moved here from L.A. who popped out of the grave. He kind of looks like Paul Bunyan. lol Not sure on the sandwich either. It indicate lots of pressure is being put on me. My best guess is that the issue I am being asked to “put to rest” involves my family. The issue may be something I judge myself harshly for and feel is repulsive in some way so I try to bury it rather than confront it. I have no clue, though, what the issue might be.

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Flood Dream and OBE

Last night I struggled to fall asleep. It could have been my overactive mind which was going a 100 miles an hour. I was thinking of really random stuff, too. One minute I would be thinking of something going on presently and another I would jump to somewhere in my past. Even when my Companion stepped in and tried to help me clear my mind I would end up somewhere else in this lifetime mulling over this or that. I also had songs stuck in my head, which is infuriating when trying to get to sleep.

Sometime around midnight I finally drifted off.

Dream: Flood

I was with a male friend, a patriarch-type, driving/flying down a country road. We had to stop because the road leading to the place we were going was flooded. I wanted to drive through it but my friend said we had to wade through it because the water was too deep. I wanted nothing to do with getting wet and kept thinking of how cold the water was and how uncomfortable it would make me. He told me there was no other way and I recall watching myself wade through waist high, sometimes chest high, water to go to this white, plain looking house. My friend looked a lot like my neighbor, which was odd to me.

Then we were walking along the river. The water was up high. My friend pointed to a little chipmunk who was waterlogged on the banks of the river. He was exhausted but alive. He picked it up and tossed it back into the river and it swam back to the bank in a hurry, gulping water and panting. The message from my friend was something about how the chipmunk would just keep repeating the pattern regardless of how many times he was tossed back in.

Interpretation

This was a dream discussion with my Companion. I am avoiding certain emotions related to life issues (flooded road). I am told I must personally confront them (wade in the water) and doing so would lead to a breakthrough (feeling cold) and a spiritual rebirth (wet). Part of the discussion was how if I keep clinging to the past (chipmunk) and repeating patterns from it (returning to bank repeatedly) then I will get nowhere.

Dream: College Symposium

I was heading to class at a university but the door of the classroom had a note that class would be meeting elsewhere but it didn’t post the room number. Another woman approached and seemed to no where to go. I followed her but then seemed to morph into her telling the other me where the new class was.

We arrived and I met with my friend Sophia. We sat in auditorium style seats and waited for class to start. There was great anticipation here but I don’t know why. It seemed we were both excited and Sophia was telling me about something I can’t recall now.

Interpretation

This dream is all about personal growth and anxieties related to it.

OBE: Warts

I woke up wide-awake, my mind very active once again. The thoughts going through my mind were more incidents from the past that seemed random and unrelated. I recognized this and thought, “I’m doing some kind of life review again.” I remember my Companion asking me if I would allow him to take over. I didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes.” Then I started to feel my heart, third-eye and crown light up with energy. It created this warm area from my heart to the top of my head and it lulled me to sleep.

Somehow I ended up very lucid and suddenly realized I was laying in bed next to a naked man. I sat up and looked at the man in front of me. My vision would go in and out as I blinked my eyes and I felt extremely exhausted, fighting to stay away and aware. I knew I was OOB and was aware of my Companion speaking to me telepathically. He was not the man on the bed, though.

My Companion was asking me to explore the situation. His intentions became mine, like we were the same person. His thoughts were separate from mine and recognized as such but there was no lag between what he thought/intended and what I did. I didn’t question any of this. It felt natural.

I reached out and touched the man, my vision blinking on vividly. He looked like my current husband but I never saw the man’s face so I don’t know. I recall my Companion commenting on what was being seen. He said something about the body hair and the body suddenly seemed to have lots of body hair. I passed my hand lightly over the body from head to torso feeling the hair. The sensation was very real and again I thought about being OOB and taking over but then suddenly felt exhausted and without motivation to do anything but remain where I was.

Then I recall hearing there was no hair at all on the body and instantly it had no hair. I recall feeling the difference and noting it and discussing my preference and why I preferred one over the other. I preferred the hairy body to the hairless one.

Then the body suddenly was covered in red bumps likes warts. The body also resembled that of my ex-husband then for some reason. I recoiled from it and felt myself return to my body.

I was congratulated by my Companion upon my return to my body but I couldn’t recall why. Maybe it was some sort of test?

Then I remember what he asked me prior to the OBE. He had asked if he could “take over”. This didn’t mean he took over my body but that I followed his lead without question. On considering the experience it seems like I was practicing doing this. His thoughts/intentions became mine. Instead of me running the show I completely gave control over to him. This takes a huge amount of trust on my part.

The symbolism is interesting. Hair has to do with sexuality and one’s attitude. The loss of it may indicate a fear of losing my sexual attractiveness. Warts have to do with acknowledging the beauty within me and is a message to stop punishing myself. Since the body with the warts looked like my ex’s it could be that I am still holding onto something from that relationship and punishing myself for it.

Other Random Memories

I am still having dream amnesia, the kind where I will suddenly recall an entire dream sequence only to have it immediately vanish from my mind. This morning I had such a dream memory. I can’t remember it now (of course) but I knew instantly what it meant. It seems that I am being prepared to confront certain life problems that up to this point I have avoided confronting. Most of these issues are related to my family and the relationships I have with certain family members.

Issues coming up for resolution (yay?):

Family drama.

My sister and her husband (my first cousin) recently got evicted from their house for non-payment of rent of a substantial amount. Prior to this, my sister had reached out to me just to reconnect (or so I thought) and asked for money for rent after several days of positive interaction. I recoiled from this, sensing an old pattern of hers, and told her no. Several days later I found out from my mom they were evicted before my sister reconnected with me. I realized she never intended to use the money for rent. I was sad and disappointed that my sister had not changed.

Currently my sister and her family live with my mom because they couldn’t find a place to rent. My mom was against it but was pressured to let them move in by her husband. Her husband creates a whole other issue in and of itself, too. The last time I visited the energy was so unsettled and jagged at my mom’s that I knew I would not be able to visit for a while. We are opting not to spend Easter at my mom’s this year because of it.

On top of that, my sister texted me Wednesday to tell me she and her husband have been asked to be on a TLC show about cousin couples. She asked me if I would consent to an interview. After thinking about it I knew it would be a bad idea. In fact, the whole thing feels bad to me. I told her no and felt her energetic reaction which was not good. My mom consented to an interview, though. Supposedly my sister and her husband could make a substantial amount of money for being on the show.

As you can imagine this is really testing me with all the spiritual changes I am going through now. Testing whether I can remain balanced throughout all of this drama. My little self wants to be angry about how “unfair” it is that my sister be given so much money and opportunity when she obviously doesn’t deserve it. It wants to punish her and be “right” in some way. I am constantly having to rein in these reactive thoughts because they come with a very heavy, nasty feeling emotion. It seems like all this family stuff is coming now in order to test me, to see if I can avoid falling into old patterns and behaviors. Mostly I am handling it by avoidance at the moment but I know this won’t work forever. Thankfully, my Companion interjects whenever I begin to fall into old reactive thought patterns. I listen and the thoughts/feeling vanish. It is the most amazing thing but I don’t know how I will respond when face-to-face with my family. We’ll see I guess!

My marriage.

Actually everything is “good” on the surface. It is the stuff underneath that still needs resolution. Neither of us is pushing to resolve anything. I won’t go into anymore detail than that.

 

 

 

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Streamlining the Self

Update you all might be interested in. Thanks for reading! ❤

Dayna's avatarA Walk-In Life

Integration is almost complete and I am noticing a substantial difference in myself. I have been told for longer than I can recall, “You are changing.” I have noticed this and that along the way, but currently there are so many changes I am noticing that it is mind boggling. I am so different than I use to be in so many ways. It seems miraculous, but it isn’t.

My Companion says it is the result of “streamlining the Self”.

Streamline definition from Dictionary.com:

1. a teardrop line of contour offering the least possible resistance to a current of air, water, etc.
2. the path of a particle that is flowing steadily and without turbulence in a fluid past an object……..
4. to alter in order to make more efficient or simple.

The Discussion

After waking this morning I recalled that there was discussion in my dreams of all the progress I had made…

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Final Preparations Continue

Had a full moon Kundalini lucid dream experience last night within an hour of falling asleep. It was another preparation for the full rising. Based on the dream symbolism I suspect more Kundalini dreams/experiences will be coming by Easter. Thanks for reading. ❤

Dayna's avatarA Walk-In Life

Last night while meditating my Companion told me he would be meeting me later that night. By the time I was in bed doing my nightly meditation I had all but forgotten about it. While meditating he reminded me. I had noticed a difference in the energy throughout the day and by this time it was very acute. So, I did not doubt my Companion would do what he said.

EFT

While meditating I was led to do something I have never done. I began to tap with three fingers on certain points on my body. At first I did this on my pelvis quite unconsciously but was led to pay attention to what I was doing. Next, I felt led to tap on the space just above my heart. After that I felt drawn to tap on my left wrist area. Then I was drawn to tap on the spaces right…

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Lucid Dream: Dry Lake to Control Freak

Slept 11 hours last night. I’m really enjoying sleeping this much. It is a rarity. Unfortunately, I awoke to my daughter freaking out because her younger brother had broken a glass all over the kitchen floor. She had a sleepover last night so I had two drama queens to contend with. lol Thankfully her friend seems not to be a morning person and was pretty quiet.

Dream: Dry Lake to Control Freak

Woke at 5:30am and asked to project. Fell back to sleep and entered into a semi-lucid dream. I was traveling with a man across the tallest bridge I have ever seen over a massive lake. The bridge was golden in color and had what seemed like levels that rose high up into the sky. There were people in these levels, too, all waiting for something. Men, women, children of all races. They wore nondescript clothing that appeared identical to me. All of them had looks of anticipation on their faces, as if they were hoping something or someone had come for them. To help? To bring them something? I don’t know.

I closed my eyes, scared of being up so high. I took a peek out several times. Every time I did I would look down and see the lake below me and this very narrow, golden footpath my partner was using but I never saw his feet. It was like we were floating. I knew then my partner was carrying me.

We arrived at a lake and I lost track of my partner. I swam across it with a group of people. On the opposite shore we turned back to go to a spot out in the lake to see a penguin. I recall wearing goggles. From there we watched something on a large screen, me wearing my goggles. I took them off momentarily to adjust them and felt someone grab my leg. I was pulled under and I could not make it back up for air. I was held under far longer than I should have survived and knew I was dreaming. Full-on lucidity resulted.

I came up out of the water and saw my friends were all gone. There was a giant killer whale float we had been using and it was in the distance. I swan toward it only to find the water disappearing. I saw thousands of people and floats coming toward me walking in the waist deep water. I asked someone if they had seen my partner. No one had.

By the then the water was completely gone. I saw a pick-up and began to push it toward the shore. It’s headlights were on. The sun was peeking over the tops of the trees and I could see a hedge of bushes in front of me. I stopped the truck there and looked at a short wall. There was a subdivision of houses on the other side. I wanted to explore it.  I thought, “Should I take control of the dream?” I decided, “No, I think I will see where this takes me. I am curious.”

I jumped the wall and went up to a street sign. It was still very dark but I saw the street was S. 48th St. I knew it was far from my home. I walked along the streets for a while when a small mobile home caught my eye. It was well taken care of and I decided to explore it. I walked up the ramp leading the the front door. There was a very large grandfather clock taking up half the walkway. I bumped into it and it almost fell.

The door was open. I went inside and saw a small child laying on the sofa. She woke up crying and I picked her up. She looked Indian and was very small. She said her head hurt. I saw an Indian woman in the other room watching TV and went toward her. She panicked at first but then was concerned for the child, too. She said to me, “I knew someone would come looking for her mother.” The woman took us to a bed around the corner. The woman was there asleep. The child crawled up to her mom.

Then the woman told me their story. How the mom got sick and could not function. She had terrible, incapacitating headaches. Now her daughter was getting them, too. I went up to the woman who was conscious. I told her something like, “You have to learn to let go. You can’t control everything. You are killing yourself by trying.” I then told her three things she should stop trying to control but I can’t recall them now. I realized as I was telling her these things that my problem was also trying to control everything. I knew the dream had fulfilled its purpose then and I felt myself return to my body.

Interpretation

I am transitioning (bridge). There are others relying on me (people on bridge) and the message is it is important that I cross through this stage.

I feel restricted (lake) and am exploring my emotional state (swimming). I am trying to protect myself from emotional harm (goggles) and need to confront something in my waking life that I know is hurting me. I am told the situation is not as serious as I think and to relax (penguin). My emotions will subside (receding water) and guidance will be given (killer whale). Then I can pick-up where I left off (truck). I am seeking illumination (headlights). I go in search of solutions to what is holding me back (hedge and barrier). I find a situation that is temporary (mobile home) and am shown to not let my emotions get the better of me (headache). I give myself advice about control and am told to let go of certain issues, to trust all is working out as intended.

I find it interesting that I do not take over the dream but allow it to show me what I need to see. This is not common for me. While I am allowing the dream to show me things I am also observing it and learning from it to the point that I recognize it’s lesson and end the dream when the message is received.

When I woke up the song Complicated was going through my mind – “Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?”. lol Yet I feel a part of this message is not meant for me but for someone I know in my life – “I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated.” They spend the majority of their life acting like they are somebody else, but I know them, have seen their true self and it is frustrating to me that they continue to act like someone they aren’t to fit in. The message to both of us is to stop complicating life, to stop putting conditions on life (conditional thinking, putting conditions on people and situations), and to be true to ourselves. There is no need to pretend we are someone else. Honesty is needed.

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Problem Solving Dreams

More dreams to document. Seems like I am working through a lot of life issues and a resistance to moving forward.

Dream: Coping with the Future

Something had happened that decimated the population of the planet. I was with a group traveling through the now mostly destroyed land. We came upon an open field with flocks of chickens roaming about. There was a large barn and mill located next to it and up the hill was a college. We discussed what might have happened had the college students known the chickens were there. Likely a fight or worse. But no one was there now. The sickness had taken the people and the chickens were all that was left.

We talked about how the chickens might be infected. There were some that were very erratic. We also discussed possibly staying there but decided instead to take a couple of eggs with us.

We moved along and found a patch of earth to plant a small garden in. We buried the eggs. I’m not sure why we did this. It seemed we thought the soil (accidentally wrote “soul” here) would incubate the eggs.

Not long after someone had come through and uprooted our plants and dug up and cracked one egg. One egg was hard boiled and was eaten. The other was lost. We discovered a small group nearby and they confessed. They welcomed us in and it seemed they had a nice community going but something felt off. We went driving into the nearby town (we called it Fairbanks) and saw some groups of survivors in tattered clothing. One family, a man, wife and two kids was walking by. The man had a very tiny, black and white puppy in his hands. I smiled at him and he chased our car trying to get handouts.

Then there was an entire scene about a man needing a lawyer. They searched for one and brought in a woman who he identified as his wife who he thought had died in the outbreak. He had a new partner and so did she and there was no issue between them.

Interpretation

This dreams seems to be all about moving forward, goals and commitment to them. I am discussing my fears (chickens) and my potential (eggs). I leave the fear behind and move on to focus on my potential, hoping for growth (burying them). I feel like all my hard work (garden) is destroyed. The people I know are not who they seem to be. Help is available if I ask (lawyer).

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Dream: Parking Ticket in New York

I was invited to my mom’s but was very upset with her and gave her a piece of my mind about some things. I told her the energy was ruined and I couldn’t stay. She didn’t understand. I remember telling her, “Do you know you are spending $6k a year on them? That will be $18k in 3 years!”

I went into a side room to repaint a painting I had completed. I began to outline it but got paint all over some towels and eventually gave up because of so many mistakes. Then I saw I had been painting on the wrong side and the original painting was fine. It was a painting of the Earth from a distance with clouds and rainbows of color around it.

Then I was outside on a wooden deck. It had large holes in it where it rotted out. I was talking to my ex-in-laws about it. I ended up showing them a cool trick I could do. I believe I became pretty lucid here, almost to the point I could have taken over the dream. I was putting up my hands in front of me like hanging onto an invisible rope. Then I would let myself fall forward or backwards and it was like I was swinging on thin air. It felt really cool.

I left and went outside to drive home for the day. The scene felt different. I knew I was in N.Y., New York. It was raining outside and I opened the door to a very large, black pick-up. I got soaked in the process. Then I saw a huge sign on the front of my windshield. It said, “Do Not Leave Until You Pay.” I got out of the car (it stopped raining) and pulled off the sticker. Under it was a parking ticket. There were objects placed on my truck to keep me from driving away. I was about to get angry when I realized there was no point. The ticket was for $321 and I had to pay in order to go home.

There is a whole scene here where I seem to be going in circles. I realize I am getting nowhere once I figure it all out. I get frustrated and say aloud, “What is the point of all this! I want out!” I see in my mind a visual of two signs. The one on the left says, “Lesson 1”. The one on the right, which is double the size says, “Lesson 2”.

I wake up and I am angry.

Interpretation

The first part is again me dealing with family issues. The numbers are likely messages. 6 and 18. I am looking to recreate the picture of the situation but keep running into emotional messes (paint on towels) only to discover the painting is complete. There is a disconnect with my Self (holes in deck) being addressed. I am being advised to fully Trust that all is working out as it should (invisible rope section of dream). I am seeking to go Home (leaving from work). I see my life experience – work (the truck) – as negative (black). There is emotion with this (rain). I feel unable to move forward and lost (parking ticket). The number 321 is likely a message in and of itself. I can’t go Home until I finish what I started. The message “Do not leave until you pay” is a direct message. I am shown how cycles repeat and also given another direct message that I have two lessons that need to be learned.

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Repeating Message: Deceit and Protection

Another night of interrupted sleep. The K-index is in the red again, too.

Dream: Car to Poodle to Baby

I was in an unfamiliar house having a discussion with my mom about my sister. She had parked her car in the driveway. I was helping with a truck and the car began to move on its own. I mentioned it to my mom and she said it was broken but sometimes did that. I asked why she didn’t sell it for my sister to get her some money. My mom acted like this would be a terrible idea.

Then the car was a small, toy poodle. I knew it had been sleeping for years. It suddenly moved and walked into the house. I told my mom who was upset by this and asked me to get it. I found it curled up on the coffee table. It was making an awful noise so I said to it, “Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you some food?” I figured it must be hungry if it had been asleep for years.

I picked up a tray of black metal objects – pens, scissors, razor blades. I filled the tray with water and was about to add baby rice cereal. I saw the sharp objects and thought, “This is not safe for a baby!” I emptied the tray of its contents and left the water, then added the cereal. I presented the food to the poodle but it had turned into a baby.

Dream: Putting Away the Lawn Mower

Then, I was walking down a hallway in the house and ran into a woman with long, auburn hair. When I saw her I recognized her calling her by name I don’t recall now. I greeted her warmly and she said hello and then hugged me. I asked her how she had been and if she had a good holiday. It felt like I meant Christmas but I honestly had no idea what I was saying or why. She said she had. She walked away. I had no clue who she was but apparently some part of me did know.

Next, I heard a noise in the garage. I went to investigate . The same woman was holding a lawn mower and moving it into a corner. I asked her, “Do you need help?” She said, “No. I’m just putting this away.” I went over to her and watched her scoot the lawn mower up against the wall. I noticed the garage was nearly spotless with a painted grey floor that shined. Definitely not my garage! lol It was two-car with two separate doors. The lawn mower was being placed up against the small space between the doors.

The woman smiled at me and said, “So, have you decided what you will do?” I knew she was talking about “work” and in my mind it felt akin to a teaching job but another part of me knew it was not the same work. I said to her, “Yes, I have decided not to leave. I will wait.” She said, “If you are sure.” There was a feeling from her that this may not be the best decision. Yet I felt happy and carefree. She looked at me closely, then, staring into my eyes. She said, “You look good.” I saw through her eyes the view of my face. It was radiant, flawless and stunningly beautiful.

She wiped her hair out of her face and left smudges. I said to her, “Your face is dirty.” She said, “It is? I must have gotten grease on it from the lawn mower.” She wiped her face with her hand and put more black streaks on it. I reached up and wiped it clean noting that if she kept touching it her faced would stay dirty. She was taller than me and I felt very drawn to her. I said to her, “Why am I so attracted to you?” I was standing with my face only inches from hers, my body touching hers. It felt nice but I had no romantic intentions. She looked down at me, smiled warmly and said something I can’t fully recall but it had to do with the masculine energy and the work they (men) were doing being independent from the feminine right now.

Considerations and Symbolism

I woke with a start. I knew the message she had given me was important. Why? I’m not sure. I could still remember the woman, smell her, even feel her breath on me as we stood nose to nose. She was awesome! She felt powerful to me. She was also very beautiful, her long, auburn hair thick and picture perfect. I wanted to be like her. That was my attraction!

Our conversation puzzles me a bit. What decision? What “work”? My first thought is that when she asked me what I will do and I said I had decided to stay that she was asking me about my marriage. That still feels correct. The feeling from her that it may not be wise came with a Knowing that I am putting myself at risk somehow. But how? I’m not sure but there has been, for many months now, two dream messages/themes that keep repeating. It is that someone is being deceptive and/or deceitful and to protect myself. I am sure it will all be clear at some point.

The first part of the dream seems to be a discussion about my mom and sister and their situation. The car is broken, so something is unfinished. Since it moves on its own then it could be that I feel unable to control the situation. It turns into a poodle which symbolizes a snobbish attitude. I feel I am better than my sister. The baby symbolizes new beginnings. The food is nurturing. Since it is full of sharp objects, specifically a razor blade, it means things I said in the past are coming back to me. I am attempting to fix it.

I think the auburn haired woman is me. She has been on vacation which symbolizes healing and recuperation. Similarly, garages symbolize a period of inactivity and feeling directionless. It is nearly spotless, so maybe lots of cleaning up has occurred. That it is a two-car garage symbolizes that I am not the only one going through such a period. The mower is a message to keep my temper and anger under control. It is between the doors of the garage so perhaps the anger is between myself and the other person. Like in the dream, I need to put it (the anger) away. The fact that the other woman unknowingly keeps putting black marks on her face from the mower suggests that I unknowingly present myself to others as dirty or flawed in some way. When I see my true self, though, I am beautiful and flawless.

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Birthday Party Calm and Dream Messages

Yesterday we had a small family birthday party for my youngest, Elek. It was a Thomas the Train theme and quite cute. I had been feeling off most of the day but as the time of the party approach I shifted into party mode and began to prepare for the guests with gusto. This is not normal for me. I typically don’t want a full house as the energies are overwhelming even when it is my own family.

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Elek eating the frosting off the train that was on his cake. 

I prepared the food trays and got everything ready and barely noticed the high energies coming in with my guests. My children, my three nephews and niece (all under the age of 7) were there along with my mom, step-dad, brother and sister-in-law, my sister and my husband. My daughter invited her best friend from down the street at the last minute (my suggestion). So that means 14 people including me were present. Being everyone was family (except one) it was strangely comfortable and balanced energy-wise. Not the normal intensity that tends to accompany the baggage only family can carry.

 

After the crazy wild present opening and eating of the cake, I made coffee only to forget the actual coffee. lol Then, after correcting my mistake, I had a cup with my mom and step-dad as we watched the kids wreak havoc on the living room. My mom came up to me and said, “You sure have grown up……matured.” I said, “Why do you say that?” She said, “You are sitting down calmly with all this (motions to mess) around you. You don’t normally do that. You usually just have to tidy up. Now you are just sitting and waiting until the end.” I laughed and said, “There’s no point and besides I’m enjoying watching them.” Then I told her, “I haven’t washed the wood floor in I don’t know how long…” We got a good laugh out of that.

One of the presents my son received was the Pie Face Game. The kids were all gathered around it having a blast. I suddenly felt like a child, too, and challenged my husband to a match. He got pie face. hehe Again, not a normal thing for me to do…. There’s a video but I’m not sharing (sorry). BTW you have to play that game if you haven’t. Super fun!

The last guests didn’t leave until more than three hours after the party started. Before then, my other SIL came and had cake and picked up her kids. I was busily making dinner and still calm and collected – just content with the the way things were.

After the party I was happy to clean up. No exhaustion or irritability.

It’s not that I am a grump or mean party host, it’s just that I tend to hide when there are lots of people around and when I am out and about I don’t say much and keep my energy to myself.

Is this a permanent change? I don’t know. I am reminded of the comments and dream messages where I was told, “You have changed. You are calmer.”

Dream Messages

Surprisingly, my afternoon cup of coffee had no affect on me and I fell asleep without issue.

The first half of the night all I recall are the messages and conversations that remained upon waking. There was discussion about the Kundalini along with very muted Kundalini energy again. When I woke up suddenly at 11:11pm I knew that my demands for it to stop were not going to be met. In fact, the message was that there was no turning back. Once it (the K) started, it didn’t stop until it was done. I requested all contracts and “mission assignments” to be deleted and/or retracted, too. This, I feel is still being negotiated. My main request was for the amazing bliss of the Kundalini to never return. I don’t think that will happen. Sigh. That may be why it is being muted, though. I will take what I can get.

Dreams

I ended up in a dream sequence where I was in a world where there had been a major disaster and people were gathering in small communities. Everyone contributed. Money wasn’t used. A man was sitting in the center of the room meditating. He had been meditating three days straight. When he woke he was unsteady and a lot of attention was given to him to help him recuperate. The rest of the group were women and the place we occupied was a tall structure made of wood that resembled a barn.

Then I was looking for a winter coat with my friend. We seemed to look for hours for the perfect one. I chose a grey one with a black collar. Coats are protection.

In another dream I was standing next to a bright red corvette that looked more like a Porsche. It was to be driven to the southeastern U.S. I saw the map and everything. A dotted line crossed through the southern states (LA, MS, AL, GA) and circled up through the Carolinas. I remember talking to a man about my travels and actually being in one of those states, but not sure which one. My husband and I ended up in a restaurant eating alligator (I know weird!). He ate it but I abstained. I have eaten alligator in real life and knew it was not very good and too spicy. Alligators symbolize treachery and deceit.

When I woke up I was angry. I was trying to once again asking for a shut down of all my spiritual experiences but every time I thought of how that might turn out I got a sick feeling and felt like dying. Not a good sign. But I am struggling still with existing in-between. Why can’t it just be one way all the time?

A song came into my head then, one I haven’t heard in a long time. I kept hearing, “Borderline. Feel like I’m gonna lose my mind.” Sometimes I hate the music messages I receive.

 

 

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Dream: Meeting Tom Selleck

Well, not exactly Tom Selleck. The man I saw had chest hair like him and I thought of Tom Selleck when I saw/felt his chest hair. lol

Anyway, the night began with a mixture of dreams that involved me and others learning how to control a body. In the dreams we were a good distance away from the bodies. So far in fact that they resembled game pieces rather than physical bodies. I don’t remember much of the experience. It seemed to vanish upon waking. What I do recall is that when I woke it was from the Kundalini. Energy entered through my crown, shot down to my root and exploded back upward. My body’s response is what finally woke me up. The feeling was that I watched the energy as it poured through my “game piece” body but also felt what the body felt. When I woke I understood that it had been a lesson, a hands-on type of practice, to better understand how to handle the physical sensations of the body.

I am grateful the Kundalini was muted.

Dream: Meeting Tom Selleck

I was at the dentist’s office and was being told the treatment I would need. What I saw was an image of my lower jaw with teeth made of metal. I was told the coming surgery and reassured it would be okay and I would have ample anesthesia so it wouldn’t hurt that much. It made me anxious, though.

Sometime during the conversation I ended up in my old bedroom at my mom’s. Next to me was the dentist, a man a bit older than me with dark hair and eyes. I recall laying my head on his hairy chest and he allowed this. It felt nice but I wanted to be closer. The next thing I know he is laying on top of me. I attempt to kiss him. He turns his head away and does not allow me to. I can feel him resist and then reject me. There is a telepathic exchange here. He reminds me that we can’t do anything romantic.

He explains himself to me and this is when I see his hairy chest. I feel it, too. It is thick and dark and I am reminded of Tom Selleck for some reason. From that point on when I see this man I think “Tom Selleck”. lol

Throughout our telepathic exchange I keep being interrupted by my children with this or that kind of “emergency”. I lose track of where the man is and assume he has left but then see his white pick-up truck parked outside. It feels like a day or so has passed and I am so distracted I forget to look for him. I pause and check for his truck. It is still parked outside.

I walked outside noting the truck still parked there. It is nighttime but I see chickens out in the yard. I yell to my mom, “Hey, did you know your chickens are out and awake!?” I nearly step on a dead one. I nudge it with my foot and think, “They are all dying.”

The man comes up and stands next to me. He just appears out of nowhere, like he has been waiting for me. He says, “We shouldn’t give up…” He was about to continue when my daughter came running outside crying. The man puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close. I let him. My heart feels to burst open. I don’t linger, though, but break away to deal with my daughter. She is hysterical over math homework. I go inside with her and forget about the man.

Then I am watching a scene unfold. There is a woman (mother?) tending to her many children. The youngest is sick and dying. I see the baby in a bath. I think he is dead but his eyes are open and he looks alive yet I hear the prognosis and it is not good. I see my youngest child’s name spelled out in large, white letters. Then the mother is outside with a man. A letter falls from the sky and he opens it. I then recall saying, “But I’ve lost so many babies, I can’t lose anymore…”

I shift back to my mom’s house. I am kneeling by the wood fence in the back picking up fallen leaves that have gathered near its base. I feel the man approach. He wants my attention. I can hear his thoughts and feel his emotion. He doesn’t want me to give up on him. He comes closer, kneeling and helping me gather up the leaves. My heart begins to explode in love for him but I resist, focusing on a leaf I am placing in my left hand. I feel him pleading with me. He tells me that he thinks we can make it through this together. I want to embrace him and tell him I want what he wants, but I don’t. I just allow him to be close and continue to pick up the leaves. My heart is exploding and I am so happy for him to be there. It is the most amazing feeling and I want to feel it forever but I also feel I can’t trust my heart. Following it only leads to pain. I begin to cry.

I wake up crying. My heart continues to blaze for a long while after. I can’t sleep for a while but do eventually fall back to sleep.

Interpretation

The symbolism indicates that I am struggling with feelings of rejection. The fact that the man is my dentist means I am doubting his sincerity and honor. Surgery means an opening of the Self and/or healing. A pick-up symbolizes hard work and/or something that needs to be “picked up”. The chickens represent cowardliness but since they are “all dying” then perhaps courage is forthcoming? The babies are ideas and new beginnings. They are sick/dying so I feel a loss of hopes/dreams/new beginnings. The letter from the sky is a message to me but I don’t read it. I mention that I can’t handle more loss. The fence is an obstacle. The leaves represent fallen hopes, despair and sadness. I am cleaning them up. Leaves could also be a pun for actually “leaving” a situation behind me.

kundalini-snake

Lucid Dream Sequence 

When I return to sleep I entered into a dream sequence where I know I am dreaming. Even in recognizing it, though, I choose to follow the dream rather than create it.

In the beginning the lucidity comes on when I am trying to determine if the Tom Selleck dream really happened or was a dream. I have an internal debate and then decide I am dreaming. This is when I made the decision to let the dream show me what I need to know.

I recall being told something would take 32 weeks. I don’t know what but the number stuck.

I also spend a lot of this dream cleaning up messes – picking up after my children and cleaning in general.

There is a part of the dream where I am asked to return to the temporary job I just had. I am suspicious, though, asking, “What happened to the woman who came back to work?” I enter my old office but it is a portable building and when I open the door water cascades out. I walk inside and see the computer and office was not harmed. The water was only a couple of feet high. I look at a TV screen playing and tap it to see if it is solid. It is. I lose interest and leave. I don’t care if anyone has left me an email message.

Then as I am walking out of the building I encounter a woman. She is dressed in black and holding a machine gun. I go up to her to kiss her and she stops me telling me I need to do something first. I notice she has a full beard and comment on it. She doesn’t respond.

I head outside and there is a man with red hair standing there. He also has a full beard. For some reason I decide to kiss him. When I do it feels like a cylinder is placed into my mouth and all the way down my throat. I feel unable to breathe through my nose at this time, too. The cylinder remains and then another one feels to be placed into my root chakra. It extends all the way up into my 2nd chakra. The feeling is so weird! The cylinders feel like contained energy. It seems like the two cylinders are trying to join in the middle of my body.

The bottom cylinder distracts me and I attempt to pull it out but can’t. So I pull the one out of my mouth. It is like I pull out a huge snake! I’m surprised I didn’t gag.

When I wake up my root chakra is a ball of swirling energy that feels heavy and makes the area seem almost numb.

Interpretation

I suspect this dream sequence was to show me the areas I am still healing. The temporary job I had was during an especially emotional time. The water indicates the emotion. I am putting it behind me, though.

The woman that has a beard represents me and my decision to be more assertive in my life, to take charge and be more masculine. She says, “Not yet”. She is holding a machine gun which is anger and aggression that is out of control. Then I end up with the man with a beard. Beards are insight and wisdom. Since his hair is red it could be that I am attempting to address my anger.