Category Archives: Dreams

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Dream: More Than a Friend

The weird physical ailments that have plagued me this year continue. This time it is my eyes. I am experiencing horribly dry and painful eyes, especially when looking at screens. At times the pain is so bad that my eyes throb. This has been going on since mid-October. I thought at first I must’ve gotten Covid again because that was the main symptom I had when I had it before. However, when it didn’t subside after 10 days, I began to worry. Finally, after almost a month, I went to my eye doctor who checked me out and diagnosed it as a flare-up of dry eye. She gave me a prescription for a steroid eye drop and other eye drops and sent me home. Today I went in for my follow-up. While my eyes are somewhat better, I am still experiencing pain and discomfort on and off. So it is another week of eye drops. I cannot wear my contact lenses because when I do, my eyes throb horribly when I take them out. So, I’ve been Ms. Four-eyes for a month. Yay! Actually, I don’t mind because I think glasses suit me now that I’m older. Still, it would be nice if they eliminated the pain and discomfort. Even now, as I type this, I am squinting and closing my eyes frequently just to get through it. Please pray my doctor is right and this is just a temporary condition. Otherwise, I have to go to a dry eye specialist. Ugh!

Two nights ago I had a recurrence of the “off” feeling upon waking I’ve written about before. It always puts me into a panic when it happens. I always check my heart rate (sleep monitor) and it has been fine. No spikes, no big drops. So, I have no clue what it is/was. When this episode happened I was actually getting a driving lesson from a guide in a very vivid dream. I was so completely happy in the dream that waking feeling like I had just risen from the dead was very disconcerting!

Thankfully, last night I slept wonderfully and had no weird episodes.

Dream-Dance Class

The first part of the dream I was in school and part of a dance (self-confidence, happiness) group. The teacher was showing us what our next dance routine would look like. We were suppose to try and follow along as she showed us the moves. The teacher started doing a reverse pike and as she did this, she removed her underwear (hidden aspects revealed). I immediately walked away saying I was not going to do something like that. The other girls huddled together to the side whispering. I went over to them and told them I wouldn’t do the underwear move. They were saying they struggled with doing the pike. I said I could do that and would show them.

Then I went to the bathroom (need to find relief) which was small as if made for very young kids. I sat on the tiny toilet but don’t remember actually using the toilet. When I wiped, the TP was covered in sticky poo (unwanted things) and I got it on my fingers. Grossed out, I tried to get the TP off of my hand and put it in the trash but it stuck to me. When I finally got it off, I stood up to wash my hands at the sink. I was squished over to the right and when I looked in the mirror I noticed a woman standing next to me on my left. She spoke to me but I don’t remember what she said. I thought of her as one my classmates.

Dream-More Than a Friend

Then I was having a discussion with a man whose face I couldn’t quite make out. We were talking about my choice to repeat high school (life lessons). The first thing I recall saying was that I wasn’t sure how this year, my senior year, would go because I didn’t have any electives left to take and the only class I had left was Calculus. I told him, “You know it is just trigonometry (enlightenment, inner completion)? I love Calculus (challenges and solutions)! .” He asked me if I had to pay to attend high school all over again being I was 47 years old. I told him, “No. They all think I’m 18.” 

It was at this time I realized we had been talking for a long time. I said, “Wow! We’ve been talking all this time? I LOVE it when that happens!” It was a familiar feeling and one I enjoy. It means I have connected with someone in a way that is truly very rare. This is also when I noticed we were sitting inside a car (lifepath), engine running, parked inside my garage (stuck, parked). I was sitting in the passenger seat and he was in the driver’s seat. I tried to get a look at him, but all I got was a feel of him. He seemed like one of those nerdy types (typical for me lol); someone who was very smart and knowledgeable about many things. I could tell he was thin and quite tall, too, with dark hair. Besides, that, though, I had no idea who he was.

He got out of the car and left behind a small boy. The boy pointed at a light through the windshield asking, “What is that?” I peered through the glass but couldn’t quite figure out what it was. All I saw was a very bright, white light.

Then I was outside of a house standing on a stone pathway with the tall man from the car. Tall shrubs were on either side of us. We were chatting and laughing about something when a young man walked up to me. He was clean cut with strawberry blonde hair. He told me that he wanted to confess that he was my ex-boyfriend’s lover, someone my ex had cheated on me with. I was shocked because I hadn’t realized my ex had been interested in men. The man from the car leaned over to hug me and said, “I’m so sorry.” I remember being able to see the scene from outside of myself, so I saw my own face and the expression on it. I was horrified. I also did not resemble myself in this life at all. I had auburn hair that went past my shoulders. Then I saw the man from the car, still hugging me, move my hair aside and kiss me. My reaction to this was also shock and I pulled away. He whispered back, “I’m so sorry!” The other man was laughing at the situation.

The next thing I remember is going to look for the man from the car. My thoughts led me there as I had been confused by his kiss, thinking of him as only a friend. I returned to my garage where we once sat in the car. I walked through the door and instead of my house I found myself inside a book store or library (knowledge, wisdom) because there were books lining the walls. I went towards the area I knew my friend would be. It felt like a kitchen area. When I saw him he started immediately apologizing. I had something in my hand, like a long strip of photo negatives (memories). I’d had it with me since we last met. I was going to give it to him but when I saw him and how upset he was, I forgot about it. In that moment I remember deciding that he could be more than just my friend. I went up and kissed him back. He was so tall I had to stand on my toes. The kiss was very real and I became quite lucid in this moment. I remember telling him that I could kiss him forever. I did this telepathically, though, as I couldn’t speak. We kept kissing until I woke.

When I woke a pleasant energy was swirling in my second chakra.

This dream felt almost like I returned to a past life or maybe a parallel one. It was quite lovely. If I were to take anything from the dream it would be a message to remember that some of the best romantic relationships develop out of good friendships.

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Dream: Doesn’t Want Help

Someone I met long ago when I went to Mt. Shasta, CA has been on FB bemoaning her situation for a few years now. She is apparently homeless, living in Colorado and has been surviving day to day by couch surfing at friends’ houses and, most recently, living in a car (not hers). She often posts pretty negative posts about giving up, how people are cruel and unloving, or how she has no one, etc. Later, she deletes the posts. 

One time I messaged her and did not get a warm reply even though I was trying to be helpful. So, I’ve not reached out again, though I’ve often considered it because it is within my means to help her get back on her feet. Every time I think about helping I get a sense not to, so I don’t.

I’ve not actually even thought about her in a while but the dream I had last night indicates why I keep getting a sense to not reach out to help.

Dream: Doesn’t Want Help

My friend and I met up because I’d reached out to offer her help finding work. She was grateful and repeatedly told me she was ready to find work and get back to a regular life. She was very emotional and spoke effusively, which is her way. 

I took her to meet some people I knew could help her. One was the ex-owner of the business my husband and his brother now own. She knows a lot of people and is good at networking. She introduced my friend to many people, all in businesses related to industry, construction or warehousing. My friend was given a large packet of applications to fill out for various companies. She took it and began immediately filling them out. 

News arrived that an employer had decided to offer her an apprenticeship. This was a very generous offer because my friend had very little work experience or education. My friend was asked to rate a list of five fields of work based upon her interest. After what seemed like a long time, I went to check on her and found she had made little progress. She couldn’t make up her mind and was unsure about what some of the fields entailed. I sat with her to explain what they were and she brightened up when she discovered one was acting/theater. Thinking she had made up her mind, I encouraged her to take it up to the desk so she could start the onboarding process. Again, she hesitated and asked me if I thought perhaps they could just train her on general duties so she could see if it was something she liked or not. I told her I didn’t know if they would agree to that and would find out for her.

I walked outside and it was pouring rain. I had to go across a parking lot to another building and by the time I got there I was soaked. My friend was suppose to meet me there but was late. I called her and she told me she would meet me at the stairs. When I got to them, they were the longest set of stairs I had ever seen and she was way at the top peering down at me. Since she was suppose to come to me, I waited, not wanting to ascend the steep steps.

When she got to me the rain had stopped and we were outside with other employees during their lunch break. I was attempting to convince her to take this opportunity based upon her interests reminding her nothing is set in stone and she could change her mind later. She brought up her work history, which had not been good. She always ended up leaving jobs within a short period, finding them boring or not exactly what she wanted or expected. I suggested she should give a job more time. I said, “Maybe you should examine your ideas and beliefs regarding work?” She gave me a horrified look. I then mentioned one guy I knew who had been an alcoholic and his life nearly destroyed until he took a similar opportunity and turned his life around. By this time she had turned her back on me rudely and walked way down towards the end of the lunch tables. Another employee looked at me and nodded her head in agreement at what I was saying and turned to look at my friend who still had her back to me. The lady told me, “Looks like she doesn’t want help.” 

When I woke up I was confused as to why I had this dream when I had not even been thinking of this person for a while. It was clear, though, that I was being shown this person has placed herself in her position purposefully to learn a life lesson. It is sad but it is what it is.

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Dream Reality Awareness

Had a dream that indicated I was aware I created the dream reality I found myself in. 

In the dream I was returning to Montana to attend college. At first I was talking to a female friend about a new hair cut. She had dark brown hair in a nice bob with bangs and I wanted to try the cut. I tried it but didn’t like how it would look on me. Then she and I were attending class and there was a whole part of the dream inside the college. The actual path we took was like an obstacle course! It was around this time I remembered I wasn’t in college in waking reality. The thought I had was that me and my family went to college in a dream reality and this was our third trip together. The thought was dream reality was as real as any, which it is. 

The dream continued with a message from the woman with the bob that we needed to remove the a/c we installed for our family housing unit. The one we installed was too big and went against the rules. Again, I recognized that it didn’t fit waking reality because in Montana no one even has a/c’s! 

Next, I was inside the house alone sitting on the sofa reading a book. I kept hearing a baby crying. Looking up and out the large windows in front of me, I noticed that an entire family had set up camp outside the house on the porch! I saw the toddler laying on the ground having a full-blown tantrum and the mother wasn’t doing anything. At first I was annoyed but decided to ignore them and kept reading my book. Not long after, I realized two Mexican kids were watching TV in my living room! I yelled at them to leave and they claimed “No one lived here…” as if it was an excuse for them to take over my house. The kids left after I started throwing pillows at them. lol When the family on the porch left, I went out and cleaned up all the trash they left. It was really messy and I was grateful winter would arrive soon because then it would be too cold for them live on my porch. 

I woke briefly and returned to the dream. This time I saw an old man sitting on the back porch next to mine. Again, I recognized he was part of a dream reality. I knew he was grumpy and set in his ways. I had been making some noise as I was cleaning and saw him wincing. I laughed a bit at knowing he couldn’t tolerate any change to his quiet morning routine. I walked up and talked with him a bit and he was nice enough. He was a very pale, skinny old man with white hair. He actually seemed somewhat familiar but I’m not sure how. I respected him, though. I remember following him inside and saw he had a group of others he would meet up with for coffee. They all had on similar hats that covered their entire heads except their noses and eyes. The hats were crocheted and looked like mushrooms. I giggled. 

Not long after I returned to my house to find a work crew in my kitchen. Many had made themselves at home, sitting around the table chatting. They informed me that they had finished trimming the trees and asked me to approve their work. I glanced outside and saw tree clippings scattered about. I told them it looked good to me and they left.

Considerations

There were many instances when I could’ve awakened within the dream. Most obvious were the moments of recognition that I was in a dream reality, and also the annoying cries of the toddler (noises off). I wish I had taken advantage of these opportunities, but I seemed content to recognize the dream reality and participate fully in it without taking control and going off on adventures. 

I believe these realities are primarily created to help me sort through waking life issues. For example, returning to college is an on-going theme which represents the school of life. The obstacle course to get to class feels especially accurate. lol Another example are the Mexican kids and the family camped on my back porch. Illegal immigration has begun to impact the area where I live and is an ongoing annoyance.

I woke feeling well rested and calm making for a nice start to the day!

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Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry

Very cool dreams last night and a short OBE at the end. 🙂

Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry

The dream began at Taylor’s. I asked her if she had any time alone and/or privacy and sympathized with her for the lack of these things. It must be difficult having a private body guard and entourage all the time. She invited me to go to a bar with her and some friends. I agreed. Mostly I remember Taylor with her long, blonde hair at this time, not so much the others involved or the scene.

The entire time I was acutely aware of the age difference between myself and the rest of the group. There were approximately five of us total. There was me, Taylor, another girl and two men. One of the men had dark hair and was quite handsome in a kind of foreign or exotic way. The other one looked a whole lot like Matthew Perry. 

We all sat together having a good time. I specifically avoided drinking any alcohol and was proud of myself for it. The others had plenty to drink and didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t drink. During this time I mentioned the age difference, saying that I was almost twice their age at 42. This error registered to me but I couldn’t figure out why and never correctly identified it in the dream despite my suspicions it was wrong. I also wished I were young again and thought back on my twenties and thirties contemplating how I would do things differently if I could do it again. Mostly, I missed my youthful appearance but when I mentioned this, the others reassured me that I still looked great, much younger than I claimed to be. In fact, they didn’t believe me when I told them my age.

At one point we were all at a piano. I think the exotic looking man was going to play or sing. My memory is mostly of looking down at the piano keys. Just above them, on the top of the piano, was a small, blue pill that looked similar to a sweet tart. It was wrap in such a way that I recognized it as a drug. I hesitated, wanting to eat it but reminding myself that I don’t do drugs. Eventually, I did take it but I don’t remember if I ate it. The pill itself had writing on it. I think it said MDMA (ecstasy). 

It was getting late and the bar was about to close. I couldn’t believe how awake I was and mentioned to the group how I am usually in bed by 9pm. The topic of discussion went to that feeling of connection one has with their people. I casually mentioned that I felt it with the two men there. Again, age was discussed and I remember someone else being there who was not one of the group. He was a man who seemed to be in a haze or cloud within the dream. He explained to me something in images more than pictures. I saw a staircase heading up. On the steps were various people at different stages. He explained that the strongest connections would be with those who occupied the same step as I did. Eventually, though, they would leave or I would and we would no longer occupy the same step. The steps each represented spiritual progress. Spiritual maturity, varied and was not related to physical maturity/age. I remember thinking it made total sense. 

Next, I recall reaching across and taking one of the men’s hands and asking him to act from his heart. His demeanor immediately changed and he got emotional, as did I. I did this with the second man also but he hardened himself, becoming noticeably stiff. I just held his hand longer, looked him in the eyes and asked him to focus on his heart. When he softened up, I smiled, tearing up at the wave of emotion I felt from him. Again, the man outlined in a haze in the dream, spoke, reminding me that I had the ability to see deeply into others and not to forget it.

Before leaving, I went to the bathroom on the other side of the bar. When I got to it, there was no door, only a thick, curtain that came down once inside. There was an additional white sheet on the floor for further privacy which I picked up and tossed over the other one to fill in any gaps. I turned towards where the toilet should be (I saw none, though) and heard someone behind me. When I turned around, it was Matthew Perry. He looked just like the news images of him, older with a sagging jawline. He was completely naked and smiling. He alerted me to my nakedness by saying, “Whoa! You’re beautiful!” I hadn’t been aware of my nakedness until that point and became briefly self-conscious but then didn’t care. Proud of my body, I stood facing him and said, “Stop it! I’m trying to put on my bra!” 

Around this time I began to get a bit lucid, specifically because I was standing naked next to Matthew Perry and I knew he was dead. The two didn’t add up. Just as I was recognizing I was dreaming, the man in the haze replaced the entire dream in my mind’s eye. He began asking me questions, specifically about how I felt in that moment, standing there naked. I remember being reminded of other dreams where I proudly ran around naked and at one point had to have a sheet put over me and be told to be careful. Nakedness = vulnerability. I felt a familiar all-over body buzz with the memory as well as a sense of rightness; a Knowing that this was my true state. 

The questions continued but I can’t recall them now. Instead, my memory is mostly in images and considerations. I felt amazingly good and requested a return to sleep. Surprisingly, I did.

Short OBE

I entered a lucid dream where I was with a young boy wearing clothing that reminded me of Peter Pan. lol We were getting placed in a giant sling shot. I was super excited. A big hand placed us in the sling shot and then it was pulled back very slowly, building the anticipation. Then the hand let us go and off we went. I was laying on my back, head faced towards the unknown, flying high over a super blue ocean below. I could see both the sky and the ocean below at the same time (360 degree vision). I saw the young boy arch downwards towards the water, but me, being heavier, continued to move in a straight line. I remember thinking, “I am dreaming and this is awesome!” I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of freedom in flight. Closing my eyes was probably the reason I came back to my body but I was still thrilled to have the experience.

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Dream: How to Hug

The below dream is from the 21st of October.

Dream: How to Hug

I was visiting with a group of very tall individuals. I don’t recall how they looked but they seemed masculine. 

One was telling me about how one of the common issues he has with his students is that they get stuck at the solar plexus. The energy doesn’t move up from there. He said this was because they hug the wrong way – only from the front. I laughed and said, “That is me!” He nodded and said, “I know.” I could see the correct way to hug and it was wrapping the arms all the way around but from behind, not from the front. Then I saw energy travel from the center of the body all the way up the spine. For some reason it made complete sense to me and I felt certain I could easily hug this way.

They asked me questions about my spiritual experiences, one standing behind me and the other in front of me but slightly to my right. Specifically, they inquired about my ET contact. One asked me, “Have you had Contact before?” I said, “Yes. Many times.” I explained how it was long ago and so now all those experiences no longer feel real. I remember saying, “But when they happened they felt real”. One of them said, “They were real.” Then I explained my initial reactions to Contact, how it scared me and it took a long time for me to realize that there was nothing to fear. I specifically remembered one experience where I was taken aboard a craft of some kind by a very tall, blue Being with very long fingers. His craft was alive and he operated it by touching various symbols. I saw the symbols light up and that is when I noticed his fingers. When I looked up at him and saw him I didn’t freak out even though he was very, very alien looking. My thought at that was, “We are all the same”. It was after that, I think, that I no longer had fear of ETs.

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Dream Hints at Future Kundalini Changes

Woke feeling good this morning. 🙂

Dream: Electric Fireplace

I was in a large house with family. My uncle was there as was my mom and siblings, though I never saw them. Also, my uncle didn’t look like my real life uncle. I mentioned how I wanted to replace all the old furniture in the home. Someone pointed out there was already new furniture. I saw a new sofa and tables. I said I only wanted to replace the old stuff. Then a replacement of the fireplace was brought up by my uncle. The fireplace was located in the middle of the house, between the kitchen and living room. he suggested we put in an electric one. He had a price quote and everything. I just remember looking at the part of the quote indicating they demolished the old fireplace to put in the new one. It was around $1900. I asked if there was any way to keep the old one in case we changed our mind and wanted a regular fire. I was told, “No”. I looked at the old, brick and mortar fireplace and imagined a new, high-tech electric one in its place. The fire burned steady and blue rather than red/orange and inconsistent. I knew there was another regular fireplace upstairs located in the master bedroom because I saw it in my mind/memory. I told my mom she could move her bedroom up there. I knew she disagreed and wanted a real fire in a real fireplace. I also suggested every one’s bedrooms be moved upstairs.

Interpretation

My “uncle” in this dream is likely a guide. I’ve had other dreams with him acting as a guide, so that makes the most sense. My suggestion to change the furniture in the house represents “ideas I rest upon”. These ideas depend on the type of furniture. The kind I imagined was mostly living room furniture, so I may have been looking to change my ideas and beliefs related to home/family. It was pointed out that I’d already replaced some, meaning I’ve made progress in this area.

The replacement of a regular fireplace with an electric one is likely related to the Kundalini. Fire can be a symbol of desire but it can also represent feelings of love (bliss) and comfort. To replace a regular fireplace, or a place where fire can be kindled and burn, with an electric one, where another kind of fire can burn, suggests a change in the Kundalini. My best guess is that my guidance is indicating a less intense Kundalini is on the way, one that burns consistently. Blue, as a color, is typically considered cool and calm, like water. The color could also hint at the Kundalini being more feminine in nature, as in the flowing nature of the Divine Feminine.

Overall, the dream felt good and when I awoke the symbolism of the fireplace was immediately at the forefront of my mind. My thoughts went to the differences between real and electric fire/flame to try and get an understanding of what was being communicated to me. If the new fireplace is calmer, cooler and more consistent, it could mean a smoother ride altogether, which fits with what I’ve read/heard about the Kundalini end stages.

Dream: Singing to Myself

I had a short dream after this one where I was laying on a couch. Behind me there were others trying to sleep. Songs popped into my mind and I suddenly wanted to sing. So, I did. At first, I tried to be quiet but the music couldn’t be contained and my whisper of a song soon was at full volume. It felt wonderful to sing, too. The first song that came out was a country song I recognized but that had been altered to a more pop/dance version. The only part I remember is “goodbye”. When I sang it, I knew it was a message I was singing to myself. 

When finished with that song, another popped into my head. It was reminiscent of Evanescence. It had a melancholic feeling to it. Yet singing it felt just as good as singing the other song, which was more upbeat. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the words to this song, but the sense I have with me now is that it was a song telling a love story and, again, it ended with “goodbye”. 

Within the singing, I began to grow more lucid. I didn’t wake up in the dream, which is typical of me these days. Instead, I stayed stable in the dream, allowing it to progress. I feel like I do this so as to allow my HS to come through. It’s as if I go into a “dream trance”. 

There was another mention of “goodbye” and I remember saying, “I don’t want to die”. This was repeated, as if someone was questioning me. In the dream, as the observer, I remember questioning the statement because it was clear something unpleasant was being discussed. No one likes goodbyes. Yet the feeling was not sad at all. 

Then I overheard myself saying a couple of other things. I told myself, “Just because you don’t ‘own it’, doesn’t mean it’s not real”. And I also said, “I pretended to be blind rather than see the truth”. 

These two statements were made at different times, but it felt like the topic had to do with my previous responses to the Kundalini. Specifically that I attached meaning to the Kundalini experience when the Kundalini experience itself cannot be conceptualized. Both statements indicate an unwillingness to see something, probably because I did not want to accept the truth. 

Song

The following song lyrics have been popping into my mind the past two days: “Oh sometimes, I get a good feelin’. I get a feelin’ that I never, never, never had before. I get a good feelin'”. When I think of the song, I feel positive and hopeful for the future. It is so nice!

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Kundalini Dream and Advice

Another Kundalini heart bliss dream.

The beginning of the dream was odd. I think I was part of an orgy type situation, either that or filming a pornographic film. There were several others with me and mostly I was asked to give fellatio to one of the men. It was not especially enjoyable and I don’t remember too much except the oddness of the situation. What I do remember vividly was the chakra activations, they were numerous and all over. It was like I was being calibrated.

The scene shifted and I was standing on the porch at the front door of a small, single-wide mobile home. Outside was a hook. I placed my backpack on it as if I had been there many times before. I heard movement inside and thought it curious because no one should be inside. Opening the door, I called out to whoever was inside. A small, dark haired boy about the age of 8-9yrs old appeared and I questioned him. I don’t remember what he said now but I think he was a friend of the man who owned the home and had permission to come and go as he pleased. 

Then I was talking to a man. I don’t know what happened to the boy. Maybe he was the man? Anyway, the man was walking around in the kitchen preparing a meal. I watched him from a distance. He was talking as if he knew me well, smiling and laughing. In my memory, him and the space he occupied seemed to glow with golden light. I recall feeling a bit shocked and overwhelmed. What was this? Where was I? And who is this man?? I felt I knew the man, like we had been or were a couple. While he talked, I struggled with Kundalini energy. It was all over but mostly centered in my chest area. The feeling was exactly as I remember, an overwhelming love that takes your breath away and knocks you to your knees (literally). So as he talked, my mind was full of questions and confusion at the situation I found myself in.

The man mentioned how he was considering dating again. I said to him in almost a whisper, “Please don’t.” He paused, looked me right in the eyes and said, “Okay”. Then he went back to preparing his food. It was a rotini pasta dish of some kind, covered in marinara and mozzarella cheese. It looked yummy. He took a bite and asked, “You sure you don’t want some?” I smiled, feeling out of breath from the love pouring through me, and said, “Yeah, no, I had pizza earlier.” He continued to eat and talk, but I can’t remember what he said after that.

My dream visuals shifted at this point. I think because I started becoming lucid from all the bliss and the questions flooding my mind. The heart bliss was intense! I remember asking, “What is happening to me?” There was also a visual of a man’s face. It was placed in front of me like a photo except that it took up my entire visual field. The man was young, like mid-twenties, with dark hair. What I was seeing was a younger version of him; he currently looked older – different. I knew he had a mustache, beard or both. 

When I finally woke I was speaking with a guide who had asked me what I was feeling. What he wanted me to focus on was my reaction to the heart bliss. The heart bliss, while amazing and beautiful, is also somewhat scary, mostly because I feel like I lose myself in it. The heart bliss holds me in a sort of tractor beam state and I am only able to “move” when it releases me.

It was also clear that I was being given these little heart bliss episodes to slowly reintroduce me to something that caused me huge turmoil in the past so that I can build up the courage to confront whatever still lingers to be healed. Sadly, my dreams reveal I am still freezing up and freaking out a bit, and, as I did the first time it happened (2015) , asking, “What is happening to me?” When I woke and realized I had asked that question again I laughed a little. I have no idea why the dream version of me keeps asking it. It is obvious what is happening. I am getting exactly what I asked for.

Dream Message 

I struggled to return to sleep but somehow did and found myself in another dream. The main focus of the dream was a man I know in waking reality. He was there with his kids trying to use my printer to make copies of some kids playing cards. I told him the printer was not connected to the computer yet and laughed, calling myself lazy. He then walked over to the edge of the room and just observed, clasping his hands behind his back. He seemed completely content as he stood there. After a while, I asked him what he was doing. He said he was practicing. I can’t recall the word he used to describe what he was practicing but in the dream I understood that he was being careful to not be distracted. I told him that I could see the value in that because I, too, struggle with being easily distracted. 

What the man said and my response to him ultimately woke me up when I recognized the message in it. I have received this message before. I believe, in this instance, the message was that I can avoid the overwhelm of the heart bliss by simply observing it rather than becoming the effect of it. Basically, I just need to surrender to it. 

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Dream: Kundalini Heart Bliss Returns

I’ve had trouble sleeping for three nights in a row. Sigh. I can’t fall asleep, but eventually do, usually around midnight. Then, unfortunately, I wake around 4-4:30am and struggle to go back to sleep.

I came across an article that warning of coming solar flare activity. The image matched the dates I’ve been struggling with sleep.

Thankfully, it looks like they are calming down, so maybe I will get more than 5hrs of sleep tonight?

On the bright side, during my brief 4-5hrs of sleep last night, I had a wonderful dream.

Before I go into the dream, there is a backstory. As you may know from my previous posts, I’ve been in a kind of “pause” period with very little spiritual activity. The decline has been steady over the last 5-7 years since my Kundalini awakening in 2014-2017.

I’ve been asking for a return of the Kundalini energy, ideally the heart bliss because I’ve really missed it. Of all the amazing Kundalini energy I’ve experienced, the heart bliss is the absolute best. It makes everything….better. I feel Home. I feel completely open, vulnerable and connected to All. 

Dream: Kundalini Heart Bliss Returns

I entered into a dream where I was standing in front of a large, muddy, flooded pond. I was with someone and told them, “I bet you can catch a lot of fish here.” The water was muddy, though, so I thought to myself it may not be the best fishing just yet.

We walked along the side of the large pond towards another big pond in the distance. There was a single-wide mobile home with a chain link fence on our right. The pond came right up to the fence, threatening to flood the yard and home. The female owner of the mobile home was outside and I asked if she worried her home would flood. She said, “No” and pointed to how the home was up on blocks. 

A little boy came running up to the fence gate, opened it up and greeted me with a smile as if he knew me. He was around 3-4 years old with dark hair. It felt like I had brought my child to play with him but I’m not sure. I don’t remember who was with me so it could’ve been my son. 

I continued to walk towards the other pond. The scene changed as I walked and the open field with the ponds quickly turned into tree covered park. Behind me I heard a commotion and a teenage boy came running past. Someone had lost their dog. I walked back to check for it and discovered another dog who was quickly joined by the missing dog. Both dogs were inside a chain linked fence. I yelled back that their dog had returned. 

Turning back, I walked towards a large, VW-looking flat-front bus. Someone had fixed it up and it looked really nice, almost brand new. A man was standing near the rear of the vehicle and I went up to him and asked if it was his. He said it was and that he had fixed it up, a big, proud grin on his face. He had dark hair and a twinkle in his eyes. Something was familiar about him and, like the boy from earlier, I seemed to know him.

We walked around the bus, which had large windows all around. Parked inside I saw a very pricey, sports car. It seemed odd to me to have a car inside a bus and I asked him, “Why not put a bed there?” I sent him a visual of how it would look. 

The scene shifted. We were inside the bus and the man was laying on a bed. The sports car was gone. 

I stood next to him and we talked a while as if getting to know one another. He told me about graduating and going to college. Surprised at his age, I said, “You seem so young.” He replied, “Why does that (age) matter?” In that moment, my view shifted from him to myself and I could see what I looked like. I was female, darker skinned (mulatto), and older, possibly 40’s-50’s. There was an odd sense in this moment and I realized our appearances and everything around me were not what it seemed. 

The man told me that his parents encouraged him to take the bus to the “red light district”. There was a long period of silence. I asked him, “Is that what you want to do?” He seemed to indicate it was not. The sense I got from him was uncertainty. He wanted to make others happy and often did things he didn’t really want to do. 

Then we were closer. I was sitting on the bed next to him and could see he had a bandage on the right side of his face. His face was very clear in the dream but now I only recall it in general. He looked very similar to the Hispanic looking, dark haired man that use to visit me in the early years of my Kundalini awakening.

I can’t recall what we were talking about before, only that I felt a deep connection to the man. He seemed to be in the bed “recovering” and I greatly identified with his story. I remember trying to tell him what I was feeling but I got choked up. The words felt to stick in my threat. My heart was filling up slowly with heart bliss, bringing up a plethora of emotions and they were overtaking me. I did manage to choke out, “I don’t know…..I don’t know what is happening….to me…[long pause, intense emotion]…Can….Can I give you a hug?” He leaned toward me and we embraced. While in the embrace I began to cry – with relief, with joy, with excitement. I was Home.

I could sense the man felt the same. He pulled away slightly, just getting far enough away that our faces were inches apart. Then he kissed me. The pressure in my heart intensified, the emotion growing even more intense. 

It brought back memories of “before”; of when I had the heart connection/twin flame experience. But this time it was far more gentle and flowing. There was no panic. There was no resistance; no runner/chaser dynamic. Just full acceptance. But mostly there was a flood of intense relief and a Knowing in my heart that what I was experiencing was meant to be. I thought, “This is what I’ve been waiting for…” Unfortunately, I became too lucid and though I tried desperately to hold onto the dream, I came slowly back to body awareness. 

I heard my guide say matter-of-factly, “There you go.” 

My heart was still swirling with bliss as I replied, “I wanna go back. Please.” From there I drifed into the in-between a few times where I heard the name “John”. It could be my guide’s name as I’ve gotten that name many times in the past. 

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Dream: Lahaina

I was awakened at around 4am by loud thunder. It has been a long time since we’ve had rain in Texas so it was nice to hear. Unfortunately, I couldn’t return to sleep. My mind went to the various dreams I had a few days prior, premonitions of the rain to come. 

Dream: Lahaina

I must have drifted off at some point because I ended up in a semi-lucid dream. I was hovering over two children swimming in a cenote. They appeared to be my sons and memory of a trip with my whole family to Mexico came to mind. The reality is that only my daughter and I went on that trip, yet the alternative memory was just as real to me. I watched my two boys for a while. One dunked the other and the two fought over a high spot in the water upon which one could stand. 

The scene shifted and I was flying over a dirt path in a tropical area. I was aware of not having a body. I was just a point of consciousness. 

I could hear a woman singing in an unfamiliar language, repeating the same phrase over and over. Her voice was calming and the melody soothing. I recognized the language to be native Hawaiian. I heard/thought: Lahaina. I knew instantly that I was being shown something and should pay attention.

The woman continued to sing. I followed the trail to a grassy field overlooking the ocean. 

Then I was watching a group of people. They were preparing to build a memorial. I saw their plans. It was made of concrete and looked like a giant, oval pit with concentric circles leading to the top. I suggested they make their memorial from nature, perhaps digging into the earth, to avoid the use of unnatural, manmade materials. The group listened.

Again, I found myself floating along the dirt path, the woman’s voice singing the haunting melody. I began to cry sorrowful tears. I didn’t know the meaning of the words but I seemed to know that I was in a healing place; somewhere those who had died from the fire had gone to recover. It felt very much like a soul retrieval scenario, except I was not retrieving anyone. 

I followed the path for what seemed like a very long time. The haunting melody on repeat. I cried the entire time. The sorrow, pain and grief was just too much.

Eventually I became aware of my physical body but I did not awaken. I could hear a television from downstairs. It was way too loud and I thought one of my boys must have gotten up in the middle of the night to watch TV. Then I thought, “It’s noises-off.” I knew to ignore the sounds I was hearing. I intended to, and did, but did not go OOB. Instead, I entered a dream where I left my bed, went downstairs and into the living room intent on turning off the noisy TV. The living room was at my mom’s house, though, and the TV was super small. It was also an older TV, like from the 80’s. I grabbed the remote and turned it off, noting the regular TV was gone. I thought, “I wonder what happened to it?” I went to my mom’s room to check if she had the TV. Sure enough, it was mounted on her wall. 

Realizing I was dreaming, I instantly woke up. I cursed missing out on an OBE opportunity. I was just too tired and heavy with sleep.

I shifted in and out of sleep after that. I remember being downstairs and seeing my husband in the kitchen. He was staring blankly through me and seemed somewhat confused about where he was. I could sense a sadness coming from him but didn’t attempt to speak to him. He was asleep and I was not. 

I came instantly back to body awareness, recognizing I had been OOB. Again, I was too tired to take advantage of the opportunity. Sigh. 

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Dream Message: Look for the Positive in the Pause

It’s not often these days that I have a dream that lasts most of the night. Nor one that has so much symbolism and a unique message.

Dream Part 1: Clearing the Closet

The dream began at a house that reminded me of the mobile home my dad lived in when I was little (7-8yrs). With me were about four or five others, all “roommates” or so it felt that way. My friend, Angela, was one roommate. I remember feeling like I got along well with most if not all of them. I was proud of this because it is not usual for me to feel comfortable in such a big group. 

In the living room area I met with my friend and told her how people were beginning to call me up just to talk, also something unusual. It was surprising to me but also made me feel good because it is so rare that people want to talk to me about anything these days. 

One of the group members was talking about how they were all counselors and asking how we were all doing with our “work”. I kept quiet, unsure if I should speak up because when I speak it is often followed by an unusual quiet and awkward feeling from groups. I do much better one-on-one. Eventually, I got up the courage to speak and told them how I am trained as a counselor but working in finance. I explained that numbers don’t judge like people do. Numbers are simple and straight-forward. They never lie. People are complicated and numbers aren’t. I felt my words were my truth and then felt relief in knowing my current work was exactly what I needed at this time in my life.

I left the group and walked towards the bedroom but this bedroom was my old one at my Mom’s house. The room had two closets and I opened one up to look for some of my old things. I found that the door had been painted. About six equally sized boxes had been painted on the door panel. The first two boxes at the top were complete. They had images of an owl and seemed to be a storyline. I told my friend it was upsetting to me that someone had taken over the closet without telling me. I could see a long, plastic box on the top shelf indicative of someone’s moving storage. I was looking through the clothing and showing my friend various items while telling her that most of the things in the closet were very old and I needed to sort through and clear the closet anyway. The clothing were little girl’s dresses and various adult women’s dress shirts. My friend left and return telling me she knew who was using the closet and had shared my concerns with them. 

Then the woman who was using the closet came and we talked. I told her that the other closet in the room use to have my dad’s old things in it. I specifically mentioned his scuba gear and how we kept his regulator in there. I looked and couldn’t find it among the other things. The woman said she scuba dived and was a level 2. I said my dad was a master instructor and told her I hadn’t been diving in years because I had no partner/buddy. You always dive with a buddy.

Dream Part 2: Cliff Diving

Then I was standing on a rocky cliff overlooking dark water. The water was quite a ways down. The woman from the closet was with me. I don’t know what we talked about but I still recall thinking of clearing out the closet in my old bedroom and thinking how I didn’t need to hold onto any of that stuff anymore. Then me and the woman both jumped over the side of the cliff. Rather than falling into the water we floated and flew through the sky, never touching the water’s surface. I remember hearing music and singing as we flew together. I was feeling quite high and happy. The woman reached her hands out to me and I grabbed them and she flipped herself over me and then invited me to do the same. I did and continued to sing along with the music. 

Then we were back on the top of the rocky cliff overlooking the dark water. I felt very friendly with her and got a strange questioning feeling from her. I told her I just wanted her as a friend and she said, “As long as I don’t have to listen to jazz music”. I laughed and told her I didn’t like jazz anyway and listed some other types of music – classic rock, alternative, folk, etc. She was in agreement and smiled. 

Our discussion must have gone to scuba diving again because I had a flash of being underwater with the woman and some others. The water was dark but I could see. I was deep down and became concerned that my air was running low. I also couldn’t see the rest of the group. This made me panic and I instantly blinked back to the cliff. 

Dream Part 3: Message to a Friend

I noticed a house across from me and decided to go to it. The house was two stories and had fallen leaves all over the front lawn. I could see some lawn chairs to the left as if there had been or would be a gathering there. I was transported instantly to the front door with just a thought and then, when I decided to go in, a white tunnel opened up. I don’t recall going through the tunnel, just intending to and then I was on the other side in the back yard of the house.

There was a paved path with soft lit lamps that glowed orange-yellow. Again, there were fallen leaves all around. I saw my friend Angela sitting on a bench all by herself, the lamp illuminating her silhouette. She had her hands cupped in her lap and was staring intently into them. I approached her and paused realizing there was a flat, disc shaped object hovering over her cupped hands. I recognized she was seeking guidance and whispered, “Oh, I won’t disturb you”. I walked a short distance away and waited. Not long after she looked up at me, inviting me to approach. Her mood was low and she seemed deeply concerned about something. I paused, waiting for her invitation to speak. She got up and motioned for me to follow her. She said nothing, keeping her head down as she walked. I stayed close, realizing my company was comfort enough.

The paved path curved around and took us into what looked like a college campus. Ahead I could see a kind of pavilion with curved, concrete seating. Others were seated there. My friend went and sat with them. I recognized them to be the same people from the house earlier in the dream with one exception. There was an older woman there I didn’t recognize but who seemed familiar. Her hair was completely white with a few streaks of darker gray. It was long, wrapping around her neck and falling down her chest. Her face showed no emotion and was deeply etched with wrinkles.

My friend sat in the middle facing the group, the old woman sat close to her on her left. She was seeking guidance from the group. She said something about school starting and preventing her from doing something she really wanted to do. There was also a mention of “cancer” but it seemed to hover above the other words as if it was subconscious or an after thought. Honestly, it was like her words floated over her head and were not spoken, if that makes any sense. 

I replied by saying, “When I’m experiencing a pause, I try to find the positive…”, but I was interrupted by the older lady. She snapped at me, saying to me that I had no right to tell my friend to look for the positive in the situation, that saying so was rude or made less of my friend’s struggle somehow. I instantly recoiled, feeling the full extent of the woman’s emotion and immediately began to cry from the onslaught. I told the old lady, “I just meant, ‘Look for the positive in the pause’.” The old lady snarled back at me. My first impulse was to leave but my friend spoke up, telling her old lady friend that she was not upset and valued my input. Before I could leave, the old lady made a loud huffing sound, got up from her seat and left. 

The whole group sat in silence and watch my friend. My friend looked to the group and asked, “Is there anything positive? Can you tell me?” She seemed genuinely curious to know. I still felt awful and was contemplating the old woman’s reaction and energy. I am so use to reactions like the woman’s and remember thinking, “Why does this always happen?”. I recognized the woman was fiercely protective of my friend and that was what caused her to react in such a way. She was also quite possessive. So, her energy onslaught made sense. Even so, I was still reeling from the “attack” and soon woke up, unable to free myself from it.

Considerations

Thankfully when I woke I wasn’t emotional at all. I understood where the woman was coming from and that her reaction was protective and motherly. Mostly, it’s the message I had to give my friend that hit home. This time is, for many, a “pause”. What is paused? I think it may vary but for me, at least, the pause is that I feel spiritually stagnant, as if that part of my journey is on hold.

Other parts of the dream seemed significant. The fact that the first and second houses reflected memory of similar houses in my lifetime is not lost on me. The first house was my dad’s mobile home from way back when I was around 8 years old. So maybe it reflects an area of my life that I still have not cleared? The next home may also reflects a time in my life that may require additional clearing. The closets have yet to be sorted and cleared. The clothing items indicate a time in my youth as well as part of my adulthood, specifically times when I wore dress shirts (probably when I was a teacher). It almost seemed like I was traveling through my life, inspecting certain times that needed tweaking.

Then the whole scene with the woman flying over the water was quite distinct. I wish I had been more lucid! The flying was a blast! The scuba diving portion was a discussion about diving deep into the unknown subconscious and confronting it. I went under the water but my fears kept me from lingering too long. My fears seemed to be running out of air (feeling suffocated or overwhelmed) and losing my group (being alone). I also mentioned how I didn’t do any diving because I didn’t have a partner, indicating I felt I needed help.

The last portion of the dream might be relevant to my friend. I won’t know until I tell her, though. However, the message I gave her was not just for her. I do think many of us are experiencing a “pause”.  

The old lady’s reaction reminded me of why I hesitate to speak. The reactions I get from others can be horribly upsetting to the point that I have to excuse myself so I don’t humiliate myself further by bursting into tears. The end and the beginning of the dream both show me using my voice. I find it interesting that the first left me feeling good because it revealed my truth and the second was the opposite. Just goes to show that I need to feel out the group before I speak.