Category Archives: Dreams

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Lucid Dream: The Giggles

For some reason I have been having tons of lucid dreams. I had two the night before last and then one last night as well along with quite a few semi-lucid dreams.

Lucid Dream: The Giggles

I was in a classroom adjacent to another classroom. I went next door and spoke to the teacher there. He reminded me of someone I know online, but his energy was that of my counterpart. There was conversation about weight lifting at this time. He was lifting 5lb plates and trying to get in shape. I remember telling him that I thought he could lift more than that. He joked that I was trying to coach him so that I could get him to look like I wanted him. There was a feeling here that he and my team of guides were teasing me about my exercise routine. There was most definitely a feeling from this teacher friend that he was romantically interested in me. I remember thinking it inappropriate because I was married. My consideration obviously amused him.

At this point a woman began to sing and I looked around the room for something to accompany her with. I saw two drums in the room and a large gong. I thought about playing them and then decided against it for some reason, yet I could hear the drums very distinctly as if someone was playing them. I mentioned the gong to the teacher and he said it would not have been a good idea. I said to him, “Yeah, they are loud. My mom had one.” I realized after that had I hit the gong it would have made me too lucid.

Then I was talking to a Hispanic woman and she was discussing the after-effects of pregnancy. She was laughing and joking about giving birth, even pretending to push out a baby. Then she joked about the double tummy that was left behind and even showed me hers which was quite large with massive stretch marks. She did have a tummy under a tummy, too. She asked me if I had this after pregnancy and I told her no but we joked about it.

This is when the man came back into the room. He asked what we were laughing about and the woman made a joke to him about male childbirth that I can’t remember now. He thought it was funny, though. I believe it was about ejaculation because after the comment I had a can of whipping cream and was spraying him in the face with it. It hit him in the eye and I burst out laughing. Then I put it all around his neck. Something about this was extremely funny to me because I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. It was a deep belly laugh that felt wonderful.

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Conversation

I woke up laughing hard. My heart chakra was warm and expansive and I felt relaxed and happy. I immediately thanked my Companion because he had done what I asked him to do – meet me in my dreams.

Afterwards we talked for a bit. I felt so much love for him, like we were old friends and reconnecting. All the dark, angry, confused feelings I had been having vanished and I felt comfortable and happy. There was also a return to wanting to be with him; to come into Union. He commented that what I was feeling was my True Self, that with him I was free to be me.

The connection with him fired up the Kundalini briefly. My heart was an expanse of warmth and there would be occasional shots of energy from my heart straight to my root and then back up again. My resistance toward the experience completely melted away.

This dream experience is a great example of the relationship I have with my Companion (spiritual counterpart) and team of guides. There is a lot of playful energy between us and an eternal love and peace. The entire lucid experience was of my group making fun of my very human considerations. Thankfully, I saw the humor in it as well.

Dream: Anything for Love

I managed to fall back to sleep despite the Kundalini activity. The dream I ended up in was semi-lucid. I was with a man who owned a red Ferrari. I remember looking at it, opening the doors which opened up over our heads. The man in the dream was wearing armor. I remember he looked huge, like some kind of action hero. I can’t remember his face very well, but I think there was brown hair.

He took me for a ride in his Ferrari and as he drove he kept taking out this bottle filled with a bright orange liquid. He would fill the cap with the liquid and drink it like he was drinking liquor and he would close his eyes like he was getting high. I watched him do this and finally asked him what it was he was drinking. I remember thinking he must be a drug addict. I also knew we were a couple and had been for a while and I had resisted asking him about this strange, orange elixir.

He pulled up to a house and took another swig of the stuff. I felt uncomfortable and told him we should not park there because someone would wonder why we were there. But he was out of it. A man came out of the house. He was dressed in black. When I saw him, I jumped out of the car and had this huge shotgun. I shot the man dead before he could alert anyone to our being there. I was shocked that I had done this but felt I would do it again in a heartbeat for him (my partner). That is when I noticed the car to our right was a long, black hearse. There was a man standing there looking at me in shock. I realized then that I was wearing a police uniform and so was my partner sitting in the car.

My partner and I ran from the car and into a field near a school. A blonde woman saw us and showed us to a large, multi-storied house. We went inside and I realized it was a safehouse.  I felt like a criminal for some reason.

Then we were down by the car preparing to leave and ran into three more police officers. I was scared they would recognize me and arrest me, but they were friendly and helpful. My partner and I spoke to them for a while about art and he was showing them paintings that we had done. I recall seeing a painting I had done of him. It was very detailed. He was naked and laying down. All I remember now is his chest and face. He was very handsome but again not anyone I recognized. There was also a sketch in pencil of the two of us laying in bed naked, our bodies intertwined. We were holding hands over the top of both of our heads. The feeling from it was beautiful. I recognized myself in the sketch but his face was hidden. The main image I recall is us holding hands and the feeling here was of complete and utter devotion. There was a feeling that I would do anything for him.

Kundalini Signs

When I woke up from this dream I again felt very at ease and calm. I continue to feel this way. It is like I spent the entire night being hugged and comforted. Yet when I woke I had visions of a symbol that was written in fire. The fire was alive, moving and sparking. I don’t remember the symbol now except that there were three dots that were sparking out towards me.

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Dreams and Divine Calling

I slept really hard, so hard that when I woke up and saw the clock showing 10:30pm I was certain the clock was wrong. I had gone to bed at 9pm and must have immediately passed out. I had been warned prior to going to sleep by one of my guides. He said to me, “You will be disoriented and not know what time it is.”

Dream: Twin Teacher

I had several vivid dreams but have forgotten the majority of them now. One I remember is walking into a classroom and seeing a man. He had dark hair and a go-T. He was familiar to me but I did not want to see him. I knew he came because he was romantically interested in me. He was smiling and very friendly, but I was thinking for some reason that I was also male. Why I thought this, I don’t know, but in the dream I saw myself as looking almost identical to him! I told him, “We can’t be together. We are twins (brothers).” He asked me where I wanted him to go in the classroom because he came to take over the class (substitute) for me while I was gone. He saw my desk and pointed to it and said, “That looks like a good place.” He was quite pushy but he was smiling and obviously trying to be funny. I didn’t think it was funny.

Since he wouldn’t leave, I decided to leave, but he followed me. He smiled the whole time and I kept feeling him behind me, like he was my shadow.

Then we were by a pool. It was not familiar to me. Usually I go to my Mom’s pool but this one, though it was also in the ground, was different and set farther from the house by a pathway. It had taller trees around it and there was more patio space.

I saw the dark haired man lounging by the pool. He had grown enormously fat for some reason and was laying next to a young girl who I identified as the owner’s daughter. The man was dressed from head to toe in black – black button up t-shirt and black cargo jeans. I was furious with him for some reason and kept asking him to give me back my keys. He acted like he didn’t hear me at first, then like he didn’t know what I was talking about. Frustrated, I put my hand into his right jean pocket to search for them but found nothing. He laughed and another person, the woman who owned the house, produced the keys. She tossed them at me and he caught them and then tried to keep them away from me. Finally, though, he put them on the patio table and I snatched them up and went back toward the house.

The owner of the house went with me to the back, sliding glass door. Still unfamiliar to me, I stopped short of going in because there was light colored carpet on the inside and I did not want to get it dirty. So I wiped my feet on the mat outside the door. So did the woman. This is when I noticed the owner/woman was dark skinned. I saw my reflection in the door and saw I was also dark skinned and quite petite, young and pretty.

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Dream: Yellow Paint

In this dream I was with a group of “family” but the only person I recognized was my older sister. I remember we were staying together at a house. Our packed bags were up against the wall and the house itself had a golden hue to it. For some reason I had lost my contact lenses. A friend, who was not present, had some and she had told all of us if we needed anything we could borrow her stuff. So I borrowed her contact and put them in. I remember them being over sized and uncomfortable. I also recall getting into a car while wearing them and not being able to see well in the dark, nearly rear ending another car.

Then I was inside a room that was like a restaurant but also a school, it seemed to be both. We were taking a test but there was this young girl who was having a rough time. I was sent to recover her but got distracted by a bucket of yellow paint. I decided to paint my legs with it. The young woman was distressed because she was on her period and was also complaining about her age. She was 37. She was embarrassed about being on her period and I advised her to go for a run to help with the cramps and blood flow issues. I then reassured her that she was still young, comparing her age to my own and telling her I had a baby at her age. I was able to recover her but the main memory here is of painting my legs yellow.

Interpretations

My initial feeling about the first dream is that I was having a discussion with my counterpart who obviously had more of a sense of human than me. He is always much more laid back and humorous than I am but sometimes it is very frustrating, as was evident in the dream. I was resisting being with my counterpart the entire dream. He is the one, though, who “holds the keys”. The fact that he was very fat is symbolic of prosperity but can also go along with the saying, “It ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.” The latter would be appropriate considering the humor here. The carpet was white in this dream. White is spirituality and carpet represents one’s foundation.

In the second dream I seem to be trying to see something more clearly but am unable to. There is fear of losing control or having a collision. The luggage (another common theme) indicates that which I am carrying around with me – burdens, responsibilities, desires, etc. The paint is a recurring symbol, like the luggage. In this instance I am painting myself yellow. Body paint is self-acceptance. Yellow represents happiness, harmony and wisdom. Menstruation indicates an end to difficult times and a beginning of relaxation. Some pent up tension/worry is being released.

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Conversation with Guide

When I woke up I was exhausted and a guide who called himself “Justice” was with me. I am not sure if this guide was male or female, maybe androgynous, but I got an entire talking to about my Divine Calling. It is not often that a guide shares with me some of their own past experiences, but this one did. She/he said that they understood my hesitation. She (in this instance the guide seemed more female) told me that she had similar situations in her past lives. I asked how they were similar and she said that she had stayed in an unhappy marriage many times. She said in one she stayed even though she was often beaten and emotional abused by her husband. I extended my sympathies to her because in a past life I also stayed in an abusive relationship so I understood her experience all too well. However, this was not the case this time. So, I  justified why I should stay – gave all the reasons I could think of, the main one being I was meant to be there for my children. I also remember saying, “I made my bed so now I get to sleep in it.” This I said in regards to having children and the responsibility that comes with being a mother/parent. Of course, this guide had a good response for every justification I gave.

I finally told this guide to leave me alone. I actually told them all to leave me alone. lol Not only was I tired and wanted to try and get more sleep before I had to get up and do my mommy job of getting my kids on the bus, but I was fed up with my guides hounding me. This is when Justice said to me, “What does your heart tell you?” Without meaning to, I focused on my heart. I suppose it is a habit now. When I did this I knew more than I wanted to know. Justice then said to me, “It’s your Divine calling.” This infuriated me and I said back, “Since when do you tell me what my calling is?” I was reminded I have a choice, then, but that when there is a soul contract made at the soul (HS) level it will eventually be fulfilled regardless. For some reason this calmed me and I said, “Good. I would rather be forced into this decision. It is just too hard to do on my own.”

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Dream: House Renovations

Before bed last night I asked to know what was in my future.

Dream: House Renovation

I had a very in-depth dream about renovating a house. It was not a familiar house but resembled an older Craftsman home. There had been an addition at one point of a bedroom that had been later renovated into a large, walk-in pantry or closet.

In the beginning of the dream, my computer ran out of battery. What is funny is that the computer is a desktop so no battery needed. It was plugged in alongside three other computers but this one, mine, was dead and needed to be recharged. I was upset about this but recall seeing the blue light turn on and using another computer instead of mine for the interim. The computer sat in a shallow pan of water while it charged, too. It was really strange. I had on a large headset and was plugged into one of the other computers. It reminded me of an information stream via music. I don’t recall hearing music but the feeling was that this was my “lifeline”.

Then my husband, who I never quite got a good look at, was inviting a neighbor into the house to help renovate the peeling plaster and other areas. The main focus was this closet. It had very tall ceilings and the top two feet had been plastered wrong and was coming off in chunks. It had also only been painted halfway and old, brown carpet covered a four foot by five foot section leaving the rest of the floor bare. The walls in the hall were also only partially painted with tape up as if someone had been interrupted while painting. The color of the hall was a vibrant blue.

Soon there were several neighbors coming inside to help. I was focused on my children and ignored them for the most part. I remember wearing my pajamas and not caring about my appearance. At one point I lay down in the bed and felt I needed to justify my actions to one of the neighbors by saying, “I’m tired.” There was quite a bit of movement and work being done on the house.

I went back into the closet and one of the neighbors was up in the corner removing plaster. He said someone had used the wrong sponge and it was all dried out. The room had been cleared of all objects and I remember thinking a shelf was going to be put that went along the top of the room. I began to tear up the carpet. There was this cable that was sticking out of the floor. It appeared to go down into the basement. I pulled on it and it seemed to want to come all the way out. I left it alone, though, as I was afraid it was connected to something important.

Then I was standing in the bathroom talking to a man who I assume was one of my guides. We were inspecting the walls and I told him, “I want all the plaster replaced with drywall. I hate the plaster and it will just peel and crumble.” The man asked me if this was a good idea especially since I would likely be moving in the next couple of years. I thought about it, as if his comment about the time period triggered a memory of something.

I began to gain lucidity at this point and the dream kind of blacks out. The last thing I recall is hearing a man say to me, “All I want to hear from you is that you love me.” This woke me up straight away. My heart was warm and there was a brief shot of energy to my root and up again. That’s when it occurred to me that this dream was in response to my question.

Interpretation

It appears that my future holds a lot of work on myself.

  • Renovating – looking at life from a new perspective.
  • Battery – since it is dead I am feeling emotionally exhausted.
  • Computer – information.
  • Closet – something in life I have kept hidden from myself and/or others.
  • Plaster – there is a matter I am trying to resolve or settle. I wanted it gone and was fixated on it in the dream because it was peeling and crumbling.
  • Drywall – a desire for privacy.
  • Bathroom – purification and self-renewal.
  • Carpet – self-protection and/or life foundation, the carpet is brown and old/worn. Brown indicates practicality, domestic bliss, material comfort.
  • Paint – expression of inner emotions.
  • Blue – truth, wisdom, heaven, devotion, tranquility, openness.
  • Cable – stamina; since it is linked to something deeper then likely so is my stamina.

When I woke the feeling was that I want to reformat my life; renovate it but I don’t feel like I have the energy or information to do what needs to be done. There is a very strong apathetic feeling in regards to my life situation.

Self-Love

The last statement which woke me up triggered an entire inner dialogue about self-love. It also triggered a mind vs. heart conflict, one that has been on-going for some time. I asked my guides, “Why can’t things just be consistent?” The answer was that it would be if I would just stay in my heart. But what my heart tells me seems to trigger tons of negative self-talk. I was asked, “Don’t you deserve to be happy?” And this is when the self-love came into the conversation.

I was asked by my guidance, “If this was one of your children, what would you do?” Hahaha Well of course I would help them get what they wanted in any way I could. I want them to be happy.

It became very clear to me then that I was not treating myself the way I should. If I treated myself like I treat one of my children, if I loved myself the same as I love them, there would be no inner conflict. I would follow my heart and be done with it.

This brought up a whole string of beliefs for inspection. Beliefs about love. Beliefs about relationships. Beliefs about happiness. These are all born in the mind. The heart doesn’t have beliefs, it just has love and the potential to create love. After being overwhelmed by all my beliefs I was kinda wishing my brain would be wiped clean so that I could follow my heart without constant interference. Spiritual lobotomy? lol

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Dream: Roller Coaster

Dream I found in my drafts folder from 14th, July, 2016.

Dream: Roller Coaster

I was with an adviser. He gave me a tall glass of what I assumed was juice. It was completely green, though. I drank it. The information was provided to me that I needed to continue juicing and that it would be a good idea to prepare my body for the incoming energies by increasing the amount of veggies in my diet. I was told I have not been eating near enough veggies.

The scene shifts and I am with my family at an amusement park. I don’t know what park as it was not familiar so I will say it was similar to Disney World.

I watched as my daughter was drawn to this ride because it has a princess character over the front of the entrance. My husband was all excited and got all three kids into the coaster car with him. He then told me to get in, too. I did not feel like I had a choice.

There was no room for me. None. I sat in the middle squeezed between two of my children. The bar that comes down to secure everyone missed me. I had to hold on to the metal seat as the car began to move forward.

The roller coaster was suppose to be for little kids but the first thing I saw was this huge ramp up. It reminded me of the ride known as Greased Lightening from Astro World (now closed). We went quickly to the top of the ramp and then flew down backwards toward the other side where there was an identical ramp. In the dream I could feel the ride as if I were on it. The motion, the speed, everything. I wasn’t having fun, though. I was grabbing hold of the metal of the seat for dear life because I was not strapped in and knew we would be upside down more than once. Ahhh!

Interpretation

The roller coaster symbolizes frequent ups and downs in life. In this case they are caused by my family, particularly my husband. There is not security in this. I don’t fit in the car. The rail doesn’t secure me in the car. I could fall out at any moment. All these things cause me to think that some things in my life are or maybe will cause me to feel this way.

 

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Dream: Symbol in the Sky

I am just documenting these dreams.

Dream: Memory Sifting

I was aware of the purpose of this dream when I awoke. It was merely me sifting through memories (sorting them).

I was sitting in a van with my husband who was in the driver’s seat. We had packed a cooler in the back and were heading somewhere together. He pulled up next to another van. One of my close friends was at the wheel. I saw her and said, “Let’s invite her and her kids!” My husband looked at me and said, “No, I don’t think so.” He pulled away and I looked out the window at my friend who had a curious look on her face.

As he drove, I was angry at him and told him, “I won’t go with you.” I crawled to the back, opened the cooler and began making a sandwich for myself. I knew he was taking me to “his people” and I didn’t want to associate with them.

Then I had a visual of a mobile home whose roof and walls had been blown away revealing only a sofa and a few pieces of furniture. I knew this represented my old high school friend’s dad who passed away long ago. For some reason I thought the house had been destroyed by fire but there was no evidence of it. In the dream I felt sorry for my friend but decided to put it aside since it was her life, not mine.

I materialized into another scene. This time I was inside a home with a bunch of women. It was a lactation group. There was an odd sensation then of my milk coming in (only a nursing mom would know the feeling) and I began to massage my breasts to help the milk come down. lol I was hit with all kinds of inadequacy feelings at this time – I’m not a good mother because I don’t want to breastfeed. I’m selfish. I let my children down. And on and on. I felt unfairly criticized by others for my opinions and choices. It seemed like the other mother’s in the group disapproved and I wanted to do what was right despite feeling utterly exhausted and unable.

Then I was looking down at a plate in front of me. It looked like it contained little wads of dough shaped like large peanuts. There were two labeled sections. One said, “Regular milk” and the other said, “Breast milk.” I looked at it and was a bit grossed out thinking I was looking at dried up milk pieces.

The women each had plates similar to mine. Some had these bits in both categories, some in only one or the other. They were sharing their plates with each other – eating pieces of this dried milk. I almost gagged in the dream at the thought of it. lol

I tried to walk past unseen, hoping to not be noticed, but the leader stopped me and asked me for my plate. I saw very distinctly the different proportions of milk globs on my plate. The “Regular Milk” category had three times that of the “Breast Milk” one. The woman took a piece from both and then mentioned how the breast milk one tasted so much better and was healthier. I gagged when I saw her eating it. Then she asked me to taste and to my surprise I did.

Eating it brought in a flood of memories and realizations. I saw that my choices should not have been judge so harshly. I saw that had it not been for formula that my oldest and youngest children would have likely have been malnourished (or needed a wet nurse). I had PPD after my daughter’s birth and was suffering from major anemia and recovering from a c-section after the birth of my youngest. My daughter couldn’t latch on and was born three weeks early and had major digestive issues (reflux). I saw that I had given what I could. I saw that I mourned the loss of my milk.

In the dream I saw my breasts again and felt the familiar sensation of the milk coming down. I missed it and grieved the loss of it every time.

I awoke upset and feeling very sad. I miss having a baby. I miss the experience of being that close, that loved, that needed. There is nothing like it. Now my youngest is growing up and needing me less and less. I can’t have anymore children. Even though I wouldn’t want one really anyway, a part of me would have a dozen more children just to feel that bond/connection again; just to experience pregnancy and all that comes with it good and bad all over again. I feel old now, dried up and withering away. My body no longer able to give and sustain life. It is such an integral part of being a woman. I never realized it until now.

It is apparent to me that I need to let myself grieve the passing of this part of me but also embrace the new role I play in the lives of my children. Just because I can’t birth anymore, just because they are growing, doesn’t make me any less a mother.

Dream: Symbol in the Sky

I was flying along a road in the middle of an estuary. The water was a vivid blue and there were people all around fishing. There was a sense that this was a special time or event.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of the sun, except it was not the sun. It was a very large symbol in the sky. It had always been there but caught my attention because I suddenly noticed the outer petals of this symbol were glowing a very pale, bluish color. The blue was the same color as the water below – a kind of blue-green or aqua. It was absolutely beautiful and I could not take my eyes off of it. I said to my friend, “It is glowing!” In my mind I knew this was not the sun, it was a space craft of some sort.

Then the scene around me changed. The estuary vanished and I was in the middle of an ancient city, one that was familiar but I couldn’t place. The buildings were of an ancient architecture and all had a light, pale gold color to them. As if the stone they were made from was molded and smoothed.

There was a catastrophic event taking place. The sky was grumbling despite the sun being out. Huge chunks of hail bigger than my fist, some even larger than that, were falling from the sky and causing devastation to the structures. People were in terror, running through the streets yelling to me to take cover. I just stood, looking up at the symbol in the sky, watching it. It hovered like a space craft and moved, morphing into a luminous, blue snake across the sky. I was in awe of it and felt completely and utterly at peace. I knew no harm would come to me. All around me the chaos continued. Buildings began to crumble, water flooded in and covered the city. Yet still I remained, unharmed, separate from the scene, watching as the aqua-blue colored snaked through the sky and hid behind the clouds.

When I awoke I knew the symbol I saw had a name but I couldn’t remember it. I also knew it resembled the symbols for the chakras but I wasn’t sure which chakra. The color was bluish, but I was certain it was not the throat chakra. The crown then? No. I am not sure which one but the symbolism was not lost to me. This chakra was opening in me, bringing in ancient knowledge that was once lost. My guidance confirmed. I still felt awe in remembering it. It was beautiful.

The symbol I saw was most similar to this one but with petals (no dots) on the outside, like a lotus, which is why I connected it to the chakras.

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The image comes from this website. It is called the SriChakra:

The Shaktas, or followers of Shakti worship, consider the Sri Yantra, or Sri Chakra, the holiest among them.

The Sri Chakra is conceived as Shiva-Shakti. The diagram consists of a series of triangles around a small central circle called the bindu. Thebindu represents the Shiva-Shakti in union, from which the rest of the diagram, representing the cosmos, is evolved. Enclosing the bindu and superimposed on each other are the four Shiva triangles (Srikanthas) pointing upwards, and five Shakti triangles (Shiva-Yuvatis) pointing downwards. These constitute the nine dhatus, or basic categories, of the universe, evolving from the Supreme Mother represented by thebindu. The triangles are surrounded by two circles of lotuses, one with eight petals (Vasudala) and the other with sixteen petals (Kalasra). Outside these, are three circles (mekhalatraya) and a rectangular enclosure (Bhupura) of three lines for the whole figure, with entrances on the four sides.

It just so happens that this website links to an article about Tantric Yoga. lol

 

 

 

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I’m Done With School

I woke myself up several times last night yelling in excitement, “I’m done with school!” Once, when I awoke, my Companion was there cheering me on. Too funny!

Now I know that as infinite spiritual Beings, we are never truly done with learning (school). So why was I so excited? What happened to bring up so much relief, so much exaltation at the very notion that I was finished with school?

My dreams suggest I have moved past a pivotal point in my spiritual journey. Specifically, a point I have revisited time and time again in my dreams: high school. There was a memorable dream last night where I was with a group of familiar high school classmates. I wore no makeup (big deal for me at that time in my life) and though at first I was very aware of what I was wearing, I didn’t care one bit about it. Even when someone spoke to me about my appearance I acted proud of how I appeared and bored with their criticism. Throughout the dream I was disconnecting from that group, individuating from the experience. Very significant I must say. I hope to never return to high school in my dreams again! lol

Dream: Peach Trees

In another dream I was in a large white van. A woman was driving. She got distracted and I remember saying to her, “Where are you going?” She tried to self-correct and ended up knocking the van on its side. We got out and she was frazzled and I told her to just sit it back up and we could drive out. While she was doing (she was lifting it up with her bare hands) this I wandered around in the field we were in. There were deep ruts in the grass and peach trees with very, over large peaches on them. They were almost ripe and I found them very irresistible.

When I walked over to the trees I ran into this obstruction. It was green and covered with dirt and grass but it was pliable and I realized that it was a mechanical structure used to hold back water. I was standing on the bottom of what use to be a lake. The water was dried up and the structure was the old floodgate.

I inspected the fruit and found it was not yet ripe. I saw a couple walking toward me and heard their toddler yelling with joy. I commented on it, saying he was a very joyous little boy. They looked at me like I was crazy. I ignored them.

Someone was with me and showed me a very large peach. She pointed to what looked like a knot of wood in the center of the peach. She said it was very rare. The peach had grown around the knot. I looked at it closely and saw what looked like a rotten patch. It fell off and I saw what seemed like decay inside.

Upon closer inspection I saw very clearly three very tiny, fragile baby birds. I said, “Oh, a bird built it’s nest inside!” I was upset because now that the peach was removed the mother may not find her babies. The woman with me set it inside a pile of dirt and rocks that was as high as we were. I heard her say the bird was a white starling. I saw in my mind a fairly large bird that was completely white. I wondered how it could even fit inside the tiny nest! The woman with me was reassuring me that the mother bird would find her babies and not abandoned them despite them being moved. I believed her and the dream ended.

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Interpretation

I was reminded of the waterfall and damn symbolism that came up recently. Apparently I have overcome this obstacle and now the water has receded so I can see what is underneath. In this case it is peaches. Peaches symbolize pleasure and joy and indicate that things are going well. The nest of birds suggests the birth of something new that needs to be tended to. When I awoke I couldn’t recall the type of bird and heard very distinctly “starling”. I understood this to be related to Starseed but in an immature form – like a baby Starseed. I didn’t even know if such a bird existed – but it does.

Dream: Last 5 Minutes

I was attending a lecture inside what resembled a church. There were pews and everything and someone was standing behind a podium located at the front of the room. I heard the announcement that during the last 5 minutes someone would speak a few words. Part of what was said was, “For those of you who may like to leave early, it is advised that you stay.” At that moment I was trying to sneak out without being seen. Everyone looked at me and I made some excuse and went back to my seat.

Then three people in wheelchairs rolled in and surrounded me. I thought it odd that they were in wheelchairs and they made it impossible for me to leave.

Dream: Visiting Friend

This dream then reminded me of a previous dream in which we had a guest who was a college professor. The professor was familiar and had driven many miles to meet me (from Cambridge). I recognized him as someone who I have communicated with online and wondered why he was in my dream. This didn’t wake me up, though. I had a concern that he was romantically interested in me but this thought was dispelled quiet quickly. It was known that he only wished to help and I was reminded of the worth of the relationships which I am building at this time.

We had all retired to bed when I heard noise and got up to investigate. I walked around to the front of the house and saw the garage door had been opened. Then I ran into my mom (we were at her house). My mom was being very nasty in the dream – irritable. She said they only got 5 minutes of sleep. I said, “Only 15 minutes?” She said to me, “You didn’t listen to what I said. I said 5 minutes.”  The professor friend had been out with a female friend of his during the night and had not slept either. He was preparing to go for a hike. I remember looking at his boots and noting he wore brown, leather, hiking boots.

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Dream: Transformation

After this morning’s Kundalini rising, I returned to sleep and fell into a vivid dream which I feel I should record.

Dream: Transformation

I was with family in a very large house, mansion maybe. My sisters and I were together with our brother. My brother and I had a very strong bond. We were “joined at the hip” and my sisters often commented about it and were suspicious about our deep connection.

Sometime later it occurred to us (me and my brother) that we were in love with each other and wanted a romantic relationship. I openly admitted this to my sisters and family, telling them that I didn’t care what they thought. It was empowering to follow my heart and ignore their objections.

The dream shifted and we were discussing a very unsettling family situation. A male family member and his wife mistreated their infant son and had four very vicious dogs. He also had a sporty vehicle he loved and kept immaculate. He and his wife often had violent arguments in front of their son, hitting each other, cursing, and yelling. This upset me because it was damaging the child. The child picked up this behavior and so treated others like this, even his own parents. It was not unusual for him to try to strangle his father in his sleep because this is what he had seen his father doing to his mother.

So we took the car and secretly sold it for $9,500, way beneath its value. We took one of the black, vicious dogs and made it docile – wiped its memory and made it like a new puppy. It became very loving, sensitive and cautious. At one point I picked up the baby boy and tried to cuddle with him. He did not know how to respond to hugs. It was like he had never had one. I decided to fix that with more love and hugs.

I took the now docile dog to my home to live because to send him back to his old home would likely lead to his demise. When I brought the dog into my home, the dog shifted into a young woman with long black hair. I showed her the house and the rooms of her siblings. She especially enjoyed her younger sister’s room and wanted to stay and explore the toys in it. She followed directions very well and thrived on love and attention.

She was very new to being a human – never been human before – so I was showing her how to be human. She really loved red wine, though, and often over indulged. I remember this causing upset in the family because she did not know how to control her consumption of wine.

Considerations

I believe this dream is me trying to make sense of the Kundalini experience I had this morning. It is like a continuation of the lesson. I can see very clearly a transformation taking place within myself which is obvious in the dream. What is done to the baby, dog and car are happening to me in various ways. The young woman is the new me, or the me who needs training. She is like a blank slate and needs to be taught how to live in a human body. She tends to overindulge, however.

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Lucid Dream: Panther

I couldn’t sleep last night. I was wound up, bursting with energy. I think I finally fell asleep around 2am. I don’t feel tired this morning despite waking at 7am.

Lucid Dream: Panther

I was having a dream where I was talking with someone about happiness. I had a realization which I stated in the dream. It was something like, “No wonder I’m never happy. My expectations ruin it for me.” This statement brought on lucidity and the scene shifted.

I was in a car with two other women. One was a black women with exceptionally long dreadlocks. She was quite pretty and I remember wishing I looked like her. We were talking about various things, but I can’t recall the discussion now other than remembering something about a grocery store and a full versus empty shopping cart.

The black woman was driving the car and going quite fast. She made a turn at a very high speed and the car fish tailed to a stop in the ditch next to the gate leading onto some rural property. It looked like a ranch of some sort out in the middle of nowhere. When I realized the car was swerving and might crash, I escaped out the window and floated next to the car watching it come to a stop.

Then I was standing on the gravel road in between the fence posts that marked the entrance to the ranch. I saw this massive, black panther standing in front of me. It was huge and had massive canines. I was nervous and looked to see if I could find my companions but they had vanished. I was alone, face-to-face with a black panther!

The large cat rushed toward me and I huddled down to protect myself. It pounced and landed on my back and then put its massive mouth over my head as if it were going to eat me. But rather than eat me, it seemed to be playing with me and felt more like a dog than a cat. I could feel the weight of it on my back and feel the heat of its breath and its massive teeth.

I wast thinking, “Is he friendly?” Nothing he did indicated that he was going to hurt me, yet I was still not sure. I stood up and he let me stand. For some reason he was playfully jumping around like a dog waiting for his owner to throw a stick for him to fetch. I got it in my mind to pick up a rock and throw it. When I did, the panther chased after the rock. I remember thinking, “How do I get out of here?” Despite the panther being friendly, all I could think of was how to get away from him.

The large cat came loping back with the rock and dropped it at my feet, asking me to throw it again. I was plotting my escape when I felt the energy of re-entry into my physical body pull me out of the scene.

Hypnagogia

Upon return to my body I was hit with intense hypnagogic imagery. It was all in black, white and gray and there were symbols strategically placed in a grid pattern that covered my entire visual field. It had depth (3D) and reminded me of coordinates or the plotting of some kind of graph. The symbols were varied and it was most definitely some kind of language. What language, I don’t know. I recall seeing the number 3 but it was not numerical. As I try to remember the symbols, Ancient Cyrillic comes to mind. Just so happens that the 3 is one of the symbols in this language. hahaha

cyrillic

My entire crown was lit up with so much energy it felt as if my head were going to explode. It didn’t hurt but it was uncomfortable and my entire body stiffened making it impossible to relax.

I tried to direct the images I was seeing by willing them to change. I tried to give them color. I tried to shift it into a scene or a picture that I could walk into. Nothing worked. The only change that resulted was that the symbols were replaced by millions of tiny 3D bubbles all in gray and white. They started out tiny and got larger and larger until at the top of my visual field they seemed to pop or burst open. Circles upon circles upon circles.

strawberries-800

Dream: Strawberry Field and Message

I saw in front of me a field of beautiful, red, ripe strawberries. They were lined up and perfect in every way. When I saw them, though, I rejected them. There is no way strawberries could be that perfect. I replaced the image with a field of half rotten strawberries. The rows and columns had huge gaps in them where the strawberries had been taken out. To me this felt more comfortable but there was most definitely an upset with this scene. I preferred the first but felt it was impossible. It made more sense that the strawberries be imperfect, rotting or missing.

Someone was with me and they were trying to convince me that the first field of strawberries was a possibility. I don’t recall how he looked, just his energy. He had such hope and his belief was stronger than my own. He took my hand and said to me, “Let’s pave a new path.” I let him take my hand but I did not go with him. What he was promising was a fantasy world. I would be stupid to follow him. Yet not going with him was agonizing.

I woke up feeling really awful and hopeless.

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Dream: Protection

Meant to share this earlier.

Dream: Protection

I’m inside a house that is unfamiliar. It is a small house and there is a section (fireplace?) that is barred on three sides with wrought iron decorative railing/fencing. One section, however, is missing. The missing section is pointed out to me by my adviser. He shows me via telepathy a visual of someone sneaking into the house and taking it. This someone comes into the house frequently and takes things. Little things usually, so no one will notice them missing. The person is taking bigger things now, feeling brazen. The reason this someone can get inside is because the door was left unlocked. In fact, all the windows and doors to the house were unlocked. I remember stating that my husband is the culprit. He purposefully leaves the doors and windows unlocked. He does this with his car, too.

I walked across the street to an identical house. The door is wide open. Unlocked. I feel upset by this. I shut the door and there is concern. What will this person take next? How can I assure they won’t get back in when my husband purposefully leaves everything unlocked?

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I was concerned and a bit alarmed. My first thought was that I needed to put up protection, like the invoking the violet flame or putting a bubble of protective energy around myself. But this didn’t make sense. I felt protected in that way. So what is this dream about?

Then I thought that I needed to change all the passwords on my accounts. I did this, this morning just in case. lol Can’t be too careful.

The dream kept returning to me despite being lost more than once. I suspect there is a message in there about my marriage since it is my husband who leaves everything unlocked. Robbery symbolizes an identity crisis or loss in life. Leaving something unlocked represents a kind of insecurity; being left wide open to outside threat. I also feel I have no control over the actions of my husband based upon the second house and my feelings about it being left unlocked.

In considering this, I will say that recently our relationship has shifted quite a bit. My husband is being more allowing of my spiritual connections and beliefs. Not that he agrees with them, but that he is allowing me to have that, to be who I am. Of course, when it gets in the way of his wants and beliefs he quickly shifts gears. I don’t know what to think of it all really. Perhaps this is why I feel unable to control him in the dream? I don’t know what to expect anymore.

It could also be that I am letting my husband be in control of me/my life/my path and should not be. Perhaps he is a threat that I am not seeing? The allowance of him into my space is potentially harmful. He is stealing from me. Hmmm. Something to consider………Ugh that interpretation feels spot on. What do I do what that??? [insert expletives]. How do you lock out a spouse? Okay, don’t answer that question it’s rhetorical. Really. lol

 

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Dreams: Renewing Vows and Cat and Owl

Some more vivid dreams.

Dream: Renewing Vows

I was in a small dress shop with an older girlfriend and her daughter. She was taking me to the dresses, discussing which one’s we would buy. They had chosen these very gaudy, gowns with petticoats that made it nearly impossible for them to sit down. I remember saying that I wanted something less dressy, more casual. I looked at a slinky gown of white and gold. The older lady friend said, “Are you sure? You should go all-out for this!” I knew the event we were preparing for was my marriage ceremony, only this one was a renewal ceremony. We were already married.

We entered a restaurant and sat down at a table together to have dinner. Everyone seemed quite happy and excited but I was not feeling this way. I don’t remember what everyone was talking about but I felt like a whole lot of time was missing from my memory. I didn’t remember getting married and I definitely would not hang out with people like this. Who were they anyway?

My husband, who I did not recognize and seems only like a blur in my memory now, offered me a drink. It was orange colored and he said it was alcoholic. He said, “Give it a try. It is good. See for yourself.” I took the small cup of orange liquid and drank it. It tasted like juice. I said, “There’s no way this is alcoholic.” Everyone laughed but me.

Interpretation

The feeling here is that I was being reminded that my Counterpart and I were married and had been since the beginning of time. I do not recall this, of course, but a part of me does. In this dream the upcoming marriage was being discussed and was considered a renewal of vows because that is technically what it is. I was not comfortable with the situation because I have so many gaps in my memory that none of it fits. So I was downplaying the whole thing, thus choosing a less gaudy dress than the others. The orange drink is curious. I fully expected a strong alcoholic flavor but instead tasted the most sweetest juice I had ever tasted. Orange as a color denotes feeling fully alive.

Dream: Cat and Owl

The scene was inside an unfamiliar house. I was with my sister-in-law and she was talking about having another baby. She was also very concerned about money, trying to figure out where all of hers went and how to make ends meet. I was helping her with her considerations and talking to her about her budget.

I began to get semi-lucid in this dream. The signs were there to wake me up within the dream, but I never quite caught on.

I went into a room and then turned around and the door was missing. This made me feel very off and I got dizzy and disoriented within the dream for a moment. I touched the wall to reestablish myself in the scene. I could feel the texture and coolness of it and see the beige coloring. Afterward, I spotted the door and went back through it. My SIL said to me, “Hey, didn’t you go in the door over there? How did you come out here?” I was as confused as she was.

Then I was outside standing in the middle of a sidewalk. I was talking to someone but can’t remember about what and I do not remember seeing anyone there. Right in front of me, standing there staring at me, was the largest owl I had ever seen. He just stared at me and seemed almost like a statue except that he would occasionally blink his eyes. He was probably about the height of a small child, so very large. Larger than any owl I had ever seen.

I remember thinking I should take a picture because this was by far the strangest thing I had ever seen. At this point I was convinced the dream was real – this was really happening. Then a very large, orange, tabby cat approached me. He was nice but also way bigger than any normal cat should be. He came up to me purring and I petted him on the head but had the thought I should be careful because cats can be unpredictable and he might decide to bite me for no reason.

Then the cat went and stood right next to the massive owl and they both just stared at me.

Interpretation

When I awoke from this dream I felt myself come back into my body similar to what I feel when returning from an OBE. Yet I was not lucid enough in the dream to recognize this.

The owl is still very vivid in my mind. He was HUGE. And so strange. His head was very smooth with no feathers poking up indicative of the Great Horned Own who is my main animal totem. He was the typical mottled brown I am use to seeing and his eyes were yellowish.

Owls are symbolic of the subconscious, of expanded awareness, mysticism, and all things spiritual. They can see “beyond”.

The orange cat was also huge and stood nearly the same height as the owl. I have not seen cats for a while in my dreams. They typically symbolize feminine sexuality and sensuality. The orange, like in the dream before, is feeling alive and tuned into one’ senses. I kept worrying it would bite me, probably because I am worried my own sexual tendencies will bite me if I give into them. lol