Category Archives: energy

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Dream: Dark Spirit

In the middle of reading a book I heard, very clearly, “It will be over soon.” No connection remained after so there was no reply when I asked, “What will?”

My best guess is the message was referring to my sciatica pain, which despite feeling 80% better, returns in the evenings down the back of my left thigh. If not that, then who knows? There are many things that could end. Everything changes all the time. Endings are part of the cycle of life.

Not long after the message I read a paragraph in my book that caught my attention. It was a description of telepathy and how, once you’ve experienced it, the sound of words is almost painful as is the waiting patiently for the words to complete. 

From “Thrive” by Kenneth Oppel

The book is not one I would normally read. It is on the middle school reading list and my oldest son chose it to do his summer reading project. After reading the first book in the trilogy, he told me he wanted to read the other two. Intrigued because he usually hates reading, I decided to read the books, too. They are quite enjoyable and I feel no shame in reading a book written for youth. I’ve read many such books in my 13+ years of teaching – The Giver, the Twilight Trilogy, the Shadow and Bone Trilogy and The Hunger Games, etc. All great books, BTW.

My dreams continue to be memorable and varied. 

Dream: Dark Spirit

I was with someone walking along a residential street. We came upon a house that had a glass wall in the front yard perpendicular to the sidewalk. Beyond the wall was an empty pool with a slide angling down below the foundation of the house. 

We met the owner who said she was in the process of repairing the pool. I recall either going into the pool or watching someone do so. I followed the slide down into the house where it ended in the living area. The entire house had slides between rooms, most not water slides. This concept delighted me. How wonderful to slide your way from room to room.

Sitting in the living area with the woman and some others, the subject of mediumship was brought up. It felt like I was being asked to do a reading for the woman. So, I gave her the info of the woman in Spirit who was with her. I can’t recall the info now but it was very specific. The woman was pleased and indicated it was the individual she was seeking. 

From this point the dream gets energetically darker. The woman in Spirit began to act strangely and became quite forceful with her telepathic communication with me. It escalated quickly despite my asking Spirit to back down. The others in the room began to look fearful because they also noticed the shift. It became clear to me that this Spirit was not who she claimed.

I put protection around myself while ordering the Spirit to leave. This woke me up and I put protection around myself as I lay in bed, just in case. Mediumship has been coming up in my dreams quite a bit lately and one woman in Spirit had been quite persistent. 

No Good or Bad, Just Experience

It occurred to me that perhaps there had been Spirit interfering with my life, purposefully trying to shake the boat in whatever way they could. How many messages, dreams, and experiences have been the result of such encounters? And then I considered perhaps some in Spirit were actually assigned with the task of shaking things up, pranking those in human bodies to purposefully make this experience more challenging. It was/is very likely this is the case. 

Considering there is really no “good or bad”, just experience, and what I have been told in the past, it is very possible that our “guides” are being “naughty” in exactly the way we have requested. This life experience is just a theatrical performance; a game with assigned roles, setting, storyline and plot. I have been told on many occasions, especially when feeling overwhelmed by guilt for being “bad”, that helping others does not always mean playing the role of the “good guy”. It can also be doing something otherwise considered “bad” at the request of the other. These “bad” experiences help them learn and evolve and, in this way, we are helping them and fulfilling a “contract”. 

Rather than be upset that I have most likely been on the receiving end of many such pranks, I just sighed and returned to sleep. What can I do about it except smile and see the humor in it all? It does me no good to be overly serious.

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Traumatic Experience

After months (years?) of boring, routine sameness, yesterday was a bit traumatic, at least in the morning.

On my morning walk I went past a car parked on the main road. There was a young man inside sleeping. I almost said something to him because it is illegal in this town but went on my way. On my walk back around to the same location he had a friend with him and they were going at it in the front seat for all to see. They did have a blanket over them but the car’s windows were not tinted. It was disturbing, especially since they were parked across from a park. Again I kept going, shocked and horrified and not knowing what exactly to do. I eventually circled back around (still on my walk), and they were going at it. So, I took a quick video to document what I was seeing, and went home.

I was inside a while contemplating what to do and decided if I went outside and they were still there I would take a photo of the license plate and confront them. They were still there. So, I took a photo of the car’s plate and walked up to the window. This is when I got an eye full. The man was sitting in the passenger’s seat completely exposed. OMG. I had already knocked on the window by that time. The man quickly covered himself. The woman rolled down the window and I asked her to leave, told her what they were doing was illegal and that I had a video and photo of their license plate. She got angry, demanded I give her my photo/video and phone number and told me she could have sex in her car because it was her car, etc. Every time I tried to walk away she would try to keep me at her vehicle with an argument in her favor but I stood my ground and headed home, telling her I would call authorities if she didn’t leave. She told me she would follow me home to get my phone from me (eek!). I walked the opposite way of my home so she wouldn’t learn my address. Eventually, they sped by me and out of the neighborhood. I went home and called the police.

The police came and took my statement about 15 minutes later. The officer was very nice and thanked me for getting the vehicle make/model and tag number. He said he looked it up and it is registered to a woman who they know well. She lives on the other side of town (she told me she was from my neighborhood) and is often seen with the man I saw her with. I described them and he confirmed they were the people associated with the vehicle. He reassured me that I was not in any danger of her coming back. He said she would likely never come back to the neighborhood after being seen, confronted and documented. He told me that next time I need to just call the police straight away and gave me his card. He asked me to email him the photo and video of the incident.

I did feel much better after that but had a short cry, relieved it was over. I suck at confrontation and it took everything in me to walk up to that car and ask them to leave. I had thought of all the ways it could turn out, worried the confrontation could go wrong, and it did, but it could’ve gone far worse. She could’ve jumped out of the car and assaulted me to get my phone. She could have driven around slowly behind me, stalking me in her car to intimidate me. She did none of these things, probably because she knew I had her info and assumed I had already called the cops (I called my husband as I walked away so for all she knew I was reporting the incident to authorities). 

Of course, I went over all the alternate ways I could’ve handled the situation after the fact. It would’ve been far wiser to tell her that I overheard that someone had called the police on her and she needed to leave. I could’ve acted like I was genuinely concerned. However, seeing him exposed like that caught me off-guard and I am not one who can hide my feelings easily. I’m sure disgust and shock was written all over my face. lol

What is funny is that my sciatica pain was nonexistent after the incident. It remained so for a while. Later in the evening I was able to do downward dog and fully extend my left leg without any pain. This confirms that my pain is related to root chakra issues, something I’ve suspected all along. Of course I have pain again this morning but it was still so very nice to be pain-free if even for a moment!

I reported the incident to my HOA Board. The response was that the community was considering starting a neighborhood watch because another resident had been harassed by a homeless person recently and filed a police report. It is probably a good idea. Because of the location of our neighborhood, we get lots of migrants (homeless, hitchhikers, etc) coming through as well as petty theft incidents (ransacking unlocked cars mostly). We’ve had a lot of new people moving in, also. Unfortunately, most are young couples and families who seem completely uninterested in any kind of in-person community involvement or cooperation. They would rather post comments online, send emails and complain from behind a screen in the safety of their homes hoping someone else will fix the problem. 

Unfortunately, the visuals I have of the incident stayed with me until bedtime. I couldn’t get certain images out of my mind. It’s not like I haven’t seen any of it before, so not sure why I keep getting flashes of it. It was like a vivid dream I was trying to remember, except I didn’t really want to remember it! So before bed I asked that the thoughts be taken away, and they did go away and did not infiltrate my dreams.

I will be carrying my pepper spray with me on my morning walks from now on. It is sad, but I feel better knowing I have at least some line of defense should this woman or some other person decide to harass me. I usually carry it with me to protect my dog anyway, ever since he was attacked by an off-leash dog (another traumatic event), but now I will carry on walks without my dog. 

Not long ago I communicated my desire to relocate to my husband and was even searching for a home to purchase a bit further from this metropolitan area. My husband was/is against it, wanting to stay close to his business (we are 6 miles away) and all the conveniences that come with city living. Me, being the hermit that I am, dislike highly populated areas in general, but I have been fine with living here the past 8 years. However, lately, going shopping at all the places I’ve always shopped is unpleasant for me. The places have double the shoppers they use to, even at off-peak hours, and the energy of the places have shifted substantially. The energy is just more frantic and anxious. I just want to get in and out as fast as I can. During my shopping I sometimes have thoughts like, “I hate people”. Mostly I will sing funny songs to myself to distract from the reality of the misery of the experience. Rarely do I run into someone who is not sleepwalking through life. Their empty eyes tell all. 

The last time I felt like this I moved to Montana. LOL  

I want to live somewhere with lots of space around me – natural beauty in my backyard. I prefer a space with a pond or lake nearby. Ideally I own my own pond that I don’t have to share with anyone, but if not then at least where I encounter few to no people. Water seems to be a huge draw for me, but not the ocean. There should be a small town/city nearby, like 5-10 miles away, so if I crave company I can easily access it, somewhere with a population less than 50K. 

As for location specifically, I am fine with staying in Texas. My family is here and it is comfortable for me. But the extreme heat in the summer can get to be too much. While I love the mountains, I absolutely do not want to live somewhere that has consistent snowfall in the winter. A little here and there (like once or twice a season) is about all I can take. Also, I do not like desert landscapes. The area has to have green vegetation. 

So far I am not drawn to any one place over another, which is why I just stay put. Eventually, though, this area will be too repellant for me to stay. This I know.

Update: On my morning walk today the couple was back but parked in another location. This time all I saw was the young man sit up quickly and cover himself with a blanket. I did not see the woman and can only assume she was laying down. When I turned the corner I called the police and they arrived within 15 minutes. I do not know if the police caught them, only that two police cars arrived. My son said he saw a white police car following a silver car and the police car I saw was black. Fingers crossed that the police caught up with them and at least gave them a warning.

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Dream: You’ll Get Use to It

Had a dream that lasted most of the night and woke me around 4:30am. 

Normally I would categorize the dream as a Kundalini dream, but the K was extremely muted. I think it was purposefully muted in order to keep me from gaining lucidity.

Unfortunately, I’ve lost memory of most of the specifics now. I was too lazy to get up and jot down the dream at 4:30am, so it is what it is.

Dream: You’ll Get Use to It

The dream felt to be a counseling session of some kind. Every once in a while I was aware of a female guide and counselor asking me questions that would then lead into answers that became the dream scene. Occasionally there was a male guide, who resembled my heart connection. I’ve previously referred to him as the “dark haired man”.

I was asked to remember what occurred during my heart connection – how it felt, the sequence of events, etc. So I told the story and shifted into a dream scene where I was with a dark haired man who very much resembled my heart connection. Throughout telling the story I re-experienced the bliss and connection thoroughly.

Sometimes during my story-telling I would feel to shift back to the scene where I was being counseled. I would see my guide, the one who looked like my heart connection. I Knew I had seen him recently in dreamtime. I told him, “I just saw you not long ago.” Memory of the dream fluttered into my consciousness and then departed. The moment felt important somehow.

One very memorable part of the dream was when the dark haired man and I were standing face-to-face, so close that I could feel his breath on my face. Our bodies didn’t touch. We were just standing very close, as if testing how close we could stand without touching. The heart bliss was overpowering to the point that I lost my breath. I remember thinking how beautiful it was, how much I missed it and how I wished I could feel it forever. In contrast, I was also afraid of it because I wanted only one thing: to completely surrender to it. I said to him, “I don’t think I can handle this.” He said, “You’ll get use to it.”

I distinctly remember one moment when I was telling the dark haired man about a part of the story that doesn’t line up with what I personally know to have happened. I said, “This is the difficult part of the story, the part where they have to be apart.” When telling this part, I saw and experienced the heartache and depression of the separation and instead of seeing myself, saw another woman from a distance, as if mixing up the current lifetime with another. I was also able to connect to the emotions and experiences of my heart connection, experiencing them from his perspective. 

During this time apart I was acutely aware of the absence of the heart bliss. I mourned it and said to the male guide, “I can’t feel it anymore. It is gone forever.” The answer I got was that, no, it was not gone, it was overshadowed by fear. This information rang true to me. I recognized that fear was love’s nemesis and momentarily was relieved to know the solution was to abandon my fear and embrace love. 

The story continued and the two reunited, their time apart over and a new chapter begun. The dream is hazy here, I think because the rest of the story has yet to be told. 

No longer with my two guides, I lingered near a wooden picnic table looking out onto a meadow. There were others with me I didn’t know. I remember distinctly the man sitting on top of the table (not on the bench). He was amused by me and had a hint of playfulness in his eyes. I sat down next to him and he leaned close to me and whispered, “You are still young.” He looked me up and down, causing me to also look at myself. I saw my body, still youthful and beautiful. He said, “You should use what time you have to enjoy your body.”

I didn’t react to his words at all but stood up and looked out at the meadow. Another man approached, my male guide I think. In the dream my consciousness felt far away in the distance so I don’t know what led to what came next. I can’t remember who said this but I also saw it in my mind. The words were, “Dance like a chicken (unexpected change) and lay an egg (creation)” and then I saw someone doing the chicken dance but no egg. I told my guide what the other man said and told him, “I can’t do that [lay an egg]”. 

I woke up filled with memory of the heart bliss. 

Considerations

IDK if my heart connection was actually present in the dream. What it seemed like is that I was being warned of future heart bliss in order to be prepared. In fact, when I awoke, I Knew there would be more heart bliss. My stomach did a little flip flop at the thought of it.

The years 2014-2015 come to mind. How, in 2014, the K dreams first began to shake up my world. I knew the dreams meant major change was coming but was unwilling to really confront that change. I feared it would mean the end of my marriage. Another was both attracted to and terrified by the power of the Kundalini, especially the part that seemed to compel me to surrender to it, but slowly I began to surrender little by little and the K progressed, leading me to my heart connection experience in December, 2015.

It think something similar is occurring now. A warning of an upcoming decision.

The magnificence of the heart bliss is impossible to resist. It feels like coming Home. The bliss of the lower chakras, in contrast, is highly erotic and sexual. Sure, it is spectacular and hard to resist, but it doesn’t compare to the heart bliss. Nothing does.

I still have no idea how anyone could “get use to” the heart bliss. 

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A Bad Energy Experience

Here is an experience that illustrates just how important it is that Projectors be selective of whose energy they come into contact with. This is also relevant to any Hermits out there because, similar to Projectors, Hermits can be negatively impacted by spending too much time with the wrong people.

Yesterday my husband and I took a trip to Dallas. The drive went well. We had good conversations and the three hour drive passed quickly. We stopped and had fajitas at a restaurant and by around 8pm arrived at our B&B.

My first impression of the B&B was that it looked nice from the outside. When the hostess greeted us she immediately wanted a hug and her energy seemed desperate for companionship. Her husband was quiet and his energy more stable. The man was 70 and the woman was in her 60s.

When we went inside I was hit by an unpleasant smell. It smelled like old things and old people. The house was full of antiques the host had picked up all over the place. He had done research in order to get a historical marker placed in the front yard and was very proud of his accomplishments. I admit, it was impressive. The house had working lightbulbs from the 1920’s that never burned out, documents and photos of the family who had owned the house, working televisions from 1948 and 1956, old radios, furniture, etc. He was also the curator to the museum in town that had more items and history from the historical family who had previously owned the house.

The wife gave us a tour of the house and our room. It was a small house with three bedrooms and two baths. She bragged that everything was original. The same old lightbulbs were throughout the house (they don’t make much light) as were plumbing fixtures I’d never seen. All the furniture was antique. She also went into depth about their own personal story. She had lots to talk about but really liked to toot her own horn (overly so).

When we finally got to our bedroom I was exhausted. The woman’s energy was difficult to take and I needed to release it. I went outside with my husband to wind down hoping to get some alone time. Within less than 3 minutes the woman was outside and wouldn’t leave, chatting away. Her energy made me anxious. Huge pangs of anxiety hit me in waves and I became nauseous. I was able to get away, saying we were tired from our long drive, but she followed us closely to our room, talking excessively the entire way.

Once in bed trying to sleep I was too awake and stared at the ceiling. I felt a presence to my left and in my mind’s eye saw a woman in a white gown looming over me. She felt somewhat like a guardian but not of me, of the room and maybe even the whole house. She may have been the woman who lived there until her death in the 90’s, the last of five siblings who was linked to the history of the house. I told her to go away, but she didn’t leave. She didn’t feel threatening and kept silent but with all the excess energy I was processing I didn’t want her there next to me.

By midnight my husband had left the room because he knew I was struggling to sleep. He thought it was him but I knew it wasn’t. I kept having waves of anxiety hit me in the chest. They weren’t intense but enough to keep my heart rate elevated in the 80s instead of the 60s where they normally are when I am laying down to sleep. 

I have had this kind of insomnia enough to not struggle against it but accept that sleep will eventually come. It did around 2am and only because I had to lay on my stomach to ease the waves of anxiety. Something about laying on my stomach, guarding my chest, helps calm me.

I woke again at 3 and then had a good stretch of sleep until 6:30 when my husband came in to drop off the blankets and get his running gear for a morning run by a nearby lake. I was out of bed just before 8am after getting 1 hour of additional sleep. 

Zombie-like, I got dressed and stepped outside to get some time in nature. They had lots of chickens and it was a pretty place with good energy (outside). My husband brought me coffee and the host of the house came outside with him. My husband went to take a shower and the host said, “I will join you.” I cringed but said nothing. I had hoped for time alone but what could I do? Be rude?

The host’s energy was more bearable and he wanted to talk about conspiracy theories and Covid (ugh). His wife was from the Ukraine so he talked about how he got her to the US 23yrs ago and also how things were today over there. It was not hard to listen or talk with him. I didn’t feel overwhelmed by his energy. He felt very neutral compared to his wife.

Breakfast was crepes, eggs and tons of fruit. The hostess was very proud of her cooking ability and had bragged about it previously. When she served us she didn’t eat and hovered over the table talking about how wonderful her cooking was. Her energy was unbearable again and I felt nauseous again. My head began to hurt and I thought I would throw up. I had to excuse myself early.

We had an appointment at 10am of which I was very grateful. When we left I tried to sneak out the back but the host and hostess sought me out to bid me farewell. The woman hugged me twice and told me she loved me. I practically ran to the car.

On the drive to our destination I was still feeling unsettled. It wasn’t until I was able to talk about how I was feeling that I felt better. By the time we left, though, I was overly hungry and dehydrated. Once I had a meal I felt somewhat better but wasn’t 100%. Throughout our trip I tried to clear myself of her energy without much success. It was only when I got out in nature that I felt better. This is when I noticed many bumblebees flying about. I took photos and thanked them for their visit.

The most common message of the bumblebee is the achievement of one’s goals through diligent work. When bumblebee visits he reminds you to persevere and have courage on the road ahead.

When I was home and in my own bed I worked on clearing the woman’s energy. It still took me until 11pm to get to sleep, though, despite my excessing tiredness. Thankfully today I do not feel her energy anymore. 

Reflection

When my husband booked the B&B I didn’t like the look or feel of it via the website. When I saw the picture of the hostess I told my husband, “I don’t want to stay there”, but let him book it anyway since he seemed to really want a B&B experience. I shouldn’t have because my intuition was warning me that it wasn’t a place that would be good for me.

I suspect there was a combination of things going on. There was Spirit energy not only from the previous owner but also energy from all the antiques. No telling what all was there! And then the hostess’ energy was unbearable to the point it made me ill. 

My husband liked the B&B and though he noticed the woman’s energy was not bothered by it. He felt she was just overly needy of attention, lonely and desiring acknowledgment of her accomplishments. He also sensed the marriage was not going well based upon the woman’s treatment of her husband. I didn’t notice because I was trying to protect myself from her energy.

The woman was also psychic, though she wouldn’t acknowledge it. She called it “psychology” saying she had learned to read people’s eyes and body language after many years of working with people. She did a mini reading on us not long after we arrived. Mostly she just picked up on my teaching but she got a lot right about my husband (his work and family business mostly). 

To give you an idea of how bad this experience was for me (beyond what I’ve already said) – When I was trying to sleep I had an impulse to get in the car and drive home in the middle of the night. I hate driving at night and wouldn’t dare attempt a 3+ hour drive at night when exhausted. That was how bad the energy of the place felt to me. I will never go back!

So, to anyone who is a sensitive person like myself, stay clear of this place. It is called “Alla’s Historical Bed and Breakfast”.

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Lessons Learned

Things I have learned since my awakening (that stand out to me):

Heart Connections (Twin Flame) are real but they are very misunderstood. There is no guide, book or even illustration that can explain a connection like this. Everyone’s experience is unique. The key to surviving one and moving past it is this: The connection with the other person is an illusion. The real connection is to yourself. If you fall into the trap of attachment to the other person, you will suffer greatly. 

Awakening the Kundalini is not fun. Seeking to awaken it (prematurely, forcing it) will only create more obstacles and potential mental and emotional illness/pain (think along the lines of Kundalini “syndrome”). It is not for the faint of heart. The Kundalini accelerates everything and forces confrontation of that which is deeply hidden and avoided. It strips away the illusion.

ET’s are real. They are telepathic Beings. Telepathy is more than just hearing a voice in your head that isn’t your own. It is the transmission and reception of the entirety of an experience to the extent that each individual experiences what is communicated as if living/experiencing it themselves. As humans, we are unable to even conceive of the magnitude of this as of yet. The compartmentalization of the human mind creates an obstacle to pure telepathy which must be circumvented. Therefore, ET’s tend to use the dreamstate to approach and communicate with humans. The Experiencer returns from the experience unable to relay what happened accurately because humans do not have the right “tools” to do so. In their attempt to communicate their experience they only have human language and limited human experience as their tools. Much is lost in the translation.

Most, if not all, of the information available via the spiritual/metaphysical community is inaccurate, incomplete and/or altered. Why? Re-read the above paragraph. Those who rely on anything but themselves, their intuition and inner Knowing, are perpetuating the misinformation. If you are following someone who has achieved some kind of “higher” status in the metaphysical and spiritual community, beware. The ONLY one you can trust is yourself. Anyone selling that their way/method/technique/information is the best/only/highest should be avoided. This doesn’t mean ignore all the information out there. It means use your inner Knowing to sift through everything you come across in your search. Take what resonates and toss the rest. If you doubt your ability to do this, step back and observe until you are able to recognize your own Knowing. 

The only true path ahead is your own.

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Mexico Trip

Sorry for the long-delayed update.

I returned from Playa del Carmen, Mexico on April 11.

The trip was okay.

Positives: I slept good, my daughter enjoyed herself, we saw beautiful places, there were no major hiccups, and there were some spiritual influences at play which caught my attention here and there.

The negatives: The energy of the group got to me, I didn’t get enough space away from the energy in order to release it, there were two small children crying on and off much of the time and I didn’t feel as safe as I did in Costa Rica.

Overall, the trip would be a 3 out of 5 stars but only because of the company we kept and the length of the trip. I could’ve come home a day earlier and my daughter said this also. 

If I had planned the trip, I would’ve planned to leave later in the day, like noon’ish, rather than go to the airport so early. We had to be there 2 hours before the flight here in the US and 3 hours before in Mexico. Eek! I always have difficulty sleeping the night before a flight, especially if it is an early one. I would’ve chosen a different place to stay – a resort would’ve been my ideal only because they have food, shopping and English speaking assistants to help with transportation and other things. It makes things so much easier and the price is worth it IMO. I didn’t plan the trip, so the above two things were out of my control. A vacation is only a vacation if you can take most of the stress out of it and just enjoy yourself. I stress with too many unknowns, so a resort would’ve helped with that.

Looking back at when I made the decision to go, I realized I didn’t know that my SIL’s, BIL’s sister was going (or didn’t pay attention to that fact). I will never go on a trip with her again, at least not stay at the same B&B. She has the kind of energy where she dominates the others in the group. There is really no way to escape her energy. It is like a vice grip, and for me, who is mostly open (Human Design), I get sucked up into all her definition and there is no navigating out of it. The experience of being around her all the time was tough. I was either emotional, quiet and subdued or trying to find a place to retreat to. At times, I spoke up without being invited and felt her response and it was too much. I ended up crying in my room more than once. By the end, I chose not to participate in the last activity in order to get the reprieve I needed. Thankfully, my daughter agreed with me and didn’t insist we go.

There was a point in the trip where I felt it would’ve been better had I not gone, mainly because it felt like my input and presence was unwanted. It was a big trigger but I realized it was my tendency to give input when not invited that created this effect. When I was quiet and subdued everything was much better but I was always left feeling like the third wheel and unable to change aspects of the trip that didn’t feel good for me. The only option was to not participate or plan something on my own. I tried to do the latter but I couldn’t find a trip that would take just one person and my daughter didn’t want to go with me. She wanted to just stay in the condo. 

My SIL’s friend/family had her own issues that she made sure to talk about frequently. Her daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes last year at the age of 10. It was clear to me that even though this new development was negative in so many ways and she was obviously not happy about it, the challenge was something that brought meaning to her life. I could clearly see how she had agreed to it, probably in order to bring purpose into her life. Her daughter would’ve also had to agree, so maybe a karmic contract?  Of course, I said nothing to her, just observed the fact that she seemed to really enjoy the challenge of the health issue (talking about it frequently) and the purpose it brought her. 

Spiritual Experiences

While the energy of the place wasn’t immediately apparent to me, some things I did notice. For example, I had various vivid dreams, some emotional. My emotions in general were high, though. I didn’t write any of the dreams down, just took note the next morning. It felt almost like full moon energy.

The day we went to Garden of Eden Cenote was the most spiritual day for me. The day was rainy and cloudy so it wasn’t crowded. As we walked up to the cenote I had a strong dejavu experience that was so noticeable I spoke about it to my daughter. Just a moment later the manager greeted us and began his speech about the cenote. I said, “Hola!” as I walked up and he stopped mid-sentence and looked at me very closely, saying, “Do I know you? You look familiar.” I paused, as I had not considered it when I greeted him but then did seem to recognize something in him. I said, “No, but you look familiar.” Not long after he mentioned Costa Rica and said to me, “Pura Vida!” I laughed, thinking it odd he would mention Costa Rica. 

Secluded area, Garden of Eden Cenote

After he was done talking I saw him around here and there and learned he was born in L.A. and lived there until he was nine when his parents brought him to Mexico to live. He took his job at the cenote very seriously, treating it as an extension of himself. I didn’t talk to him one-on-one but watched from a distance wondering if perhaps I had met him in dreamtime (I think had I brought up the astral he would’ve known what I was talking about). Later I mentioned a secluded area I enjoyed, calling it my favorite place, and he said it was his favorite place, too. Though he didn’t say, I knew he liked it because of its energy. I now wish I had spoken to him about it in private but the timing was not right. My group members would’ve been uncomfortable had I mentioned energy or anything related.

Other than some dreams and the one experience above, I was just very emotional. I am going to blame all the new energy I was constantly around on my inability to get space when I needed it. The good thing is I had my own bedroom I could retreat to. Had I not had that I would’ve really struggled.

Pictures

Here are a few pictures from the trip.

On day one we visited the Tulum Ruins, went snorkeling and then swam in a cave (yep!). The next day we went to the cenote (sinkhole) and the day after that we enjoyed the beach and the rooftop swimming pool. The rest of the trip was beach, shopping, dining, etc. My daughter and I did not go to Xcarat with the rest of the group on the last day of the trip. We were both sunburned, my daughter more than I, and preferred to rest the day before our flight home.

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Kundalini Dream: Blue Triangle

I’ve been sleeping deeply and having lots of dreams the last few days. Most haven’t been too interesting but last night the Kundalini was present. It wasn’t typical but the energy was present none-the-less.

K Dream – Blue Triangle

I was with a group of others. We were all youngish (20’s maybe) and seemed to either be in water or floating in a bluish colored space. I remember some other info but it is random faces and conversations that don’t make much sense. 

What I recall most vividly is lining myself up horizontally with my feet pointed towards the front of the space where a man was standing and facing to my left with both his arms outstretched. As I floated there, the man initiated an electrical current that looked blue as it shot out of his arms and hands. Like lightning, it moved towards another person (a man I think) who was horizontal and facing me. Within a few seconds the current went through the second man and hit me, entering via the head and moving through to my feet. The energy exited my toes and completed the circuit into the man who initiated it. 

I distinctly recall the way the energy felt when it hit me and traveled through me. The initial sensation was like I had been mildly shocked and my whole body arched upward slightly. As it moved through me I could feel a distinct difference between the left and right sides of my body. The left side was a solid, uninterrupted flow of energy that felt comfortable and somewhat rejuvenating. There was no disturbances in the flow to the point that it seemed like my head, body and feet were indistinguishable as separate parts. On the right side of my body, on the other hand, there was an interruption of the flow in my legs which felt uncomfortable but not painful. The energy was intermittent and pulsed and with each pulse it was like the initial shock and caused my right leg to flinch.

When the current was cut off, everyone in the room was excited and applauded. I felt extremely accomplished and talked to a woman who had been with me the entire time. She asked me about my experience and I told her about the energy differences I sensed. I was proud that my body cooperated and told her had it not been for the left side of my body being a perfect conduit, the consistent flow would’ve stopped with me. 

The triangle of energy that we formed together was beautiful – a magnificent, electrical blue. The feeling I had was satisfaction. 

As the group mingled, there was an air of anticipation and excitement. It felt like, as a group, we had been working hard and had made great progress. We were all looking forward to what came next. I had a brown bag in my hands that was filled with fresh baked breads like bagels and mini-loaves. The woman asked, “Is that a homemade bagel?” I said, “Yes it is.” She asked, “Can I have one?” I handed it to her and she accepted it and took a big bite.

When we were leaving I was talking to the woman about the next time we would connect and said, “I want to be the one who initiates”. In my mind I remembered how the man initiated the flow of energy. I really desired doing what he did.

Considerations

The dream ended and I woke up briefly. No energy remained but the visuals of the energy flow were fresh on my mind as was the memory of how the energy felt when it flowed through me. I don’t know why it didn’t wake me because it was quite strong. 

Overall, the dream feels positive. I can relate to my right side being a bit less “conductive” and it is promising that the energy made it all the way to my legs before being interrupted. So, I am feeling reassured. Whatever the K has cleared, it is much more than I thought.

The bagel at the end is symbolic of various things. To just have a bagel symbolizes good times ahead after a period of struggle. To give a bagel to someone indicates a friend may need my help or to offer assistance to another. Seeing someone else eat a bagel symbolizes loneliness. 

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Spirit Visits, Lucid Dreams, Remote Viewing and Kundalini

I’ve been having some unusual experiences, incidents that I haven’t had in many, many years. It’s as if my spiritual abilities, seemingly dormant for years, are waking up again.

For example, I’ve had Spirit visit me quite a bit this week. First, my husband’s ex boss told me, “I love you” out of the blue and soon after I dreamed of his wife, also deceased. Then a coworker’s family member in Spirit visited me and let me know she was assisting his recently deceased grandmother. I knew she was the deceased’s daughter (his aunt). She wanted me to tell him, to bring it up and ease his mind, and I replied back, “What do you want me to do? Just go up to him and say, ‘By the way, I talk to dead people and your grandmother’s daughter is assisting her?’ LOL I think that was the day of the funeral, too.

There have been other weird things. Just two nights ago I was checking on my son and I heard, quite clearly, my husband’s voice saying something he often says when playing with our boys. The thing is, he is in California on business. It was midnight and no one was awake but I did check to make sure a video wasn’t playing somewhere. Nothing. It freaked me out. My husband is traveling in very snowy conditions so at first I worried he was in trouble. Eventually, though, I concluded I had picked up on a “imprint”. An imprint is like a “stamp” on the environment caused by high emotion, often repeated over time. Imprints have no life of their own but are often confused as ghosts. In this case, it was a positive imprint.

I later confirmed my husband is in fact okay. 😉

Along with all of the above, I keep seeing things that are not there (or at least not in this reality). Usually I think I see one of my children and even say things to them only to find there is no one there. One time I thought I saw my deceased dog, Trooper!

Then there are the dream experiences. So many dreams! Last night was no exception but had an added twist.

Lucid Dream: Mosquito House

I entered into the dream scene. I was going to visit a family who are connected to my husband in real life. It was very dark as I flew towards my destination. Someone was telling me about the house ahead. It was just the outer parts, no insides, with a good, solid door. I asked why anyone would build a home like this and was told it was to “keep out the mosquitoes”.

Ahead I saw the house. It was one story, brick and had a full sized garage. I could also see inside, as if I had x-ray vision, and it was indeed completely empty.

I shifted into the house with just a thought. Inside it was very hard to see but I could make out the members of the family. I don’t recall interacting with them, just watching and talking about them with my companion (guide). The family is an odd sort in real life. They have opted to live out in the middle of nowhere New Mexico, off the grid, with no indoor plumbing. Their kids are homeschooled. Funny enough, they do use devices. The wife has an online business and the kids use computers for school. The husband does odd jobs in construction and slowly pieced together their home on his parent’s land.

I remember commenting to my companion how everything (the house, the scene) fit the family perfectly based upon what I know about them.  

As I walked through the empty space chatting with my companion, I recall being bitten over and over by mosquitoes (minor annoyances) and thinking the house wasn’t working to keep them out. I asked my companion about this and he said they weren’t bothering him and to ignore them. It was at this point that I became lucid, pulling my blankets, both physically and in the dream, over my head to keep the mosquitoes off me. 

No longer interested in the family or the house, I walked towards the entrance to leave. There were various aquariums set up near the door. They were lit up and I could see the fish inside. I remember pulling them over, one by one, just for fun because it was not something I would do in real life. The room slowly began to fill with water and I laughed as I splashed and dove into the water, swimming with the fish.

The water level got so high it spilled out through the window and I went with it. I could see the night sky and burst up into it in full flight, soaring as high as I could go, feeling absolutely free.

Lucid Dream: Slingshot Powerlines

I returned to my body several times and then went back into lucid dreams. I was heavy with sleep and energy, so it was difficult to gain full control of the dreams when I returned. I seemed happy to follow along for the most part but would get bored and leave the dream to explore. This is what happened in this dream.

I was in a warehouse in an Asian country and knew I had sent gifts to people there. I flew into a room and landed in front of an Asian couple who had received their gift. As they opened it they asked me if they could keep the items inside. I said yes, of course, but they hesitated in disbelief because one was a very expensive wi-fi speaker. 

I lingered around, flying through the warehouse. Like in my last dream, I could see through the outer walls and into the spaces just with a thought. It looked like a factory and it didn’t take long for me to grow bored of the place. Like in the other dream, everything was dark but in this one I could see well.

In my boredom, I went to explore. I flew out a window and up into the sky but got caught in some powerlines. There were rows and rows of them and they were not letting me pass. I got the idea to use them as a slingshot and positioned myself on top of them. With my mind, I pulled myself back and the powerlines acted like rubber bands. I pulled myself back several times until I knew I had enough distance to sling myself really far.

After three or so times of stretching the lines to their limit, I let go and was propelled into the sky and up into space. It was thrilling and I didn’t close my eyes or get afraid like I often do when I head into space. What I recall the most is the exhilaration of moving at such a high speed while watching the stars the entire time. They didn’t streak or change shape. They just shone brilliantly and brightly. All of the sensations became so real that I shifted back into my body, still feeling as if I was moving.

Kundalini

When I returned to my body I was covered in energy and it was difficult to not be lulled back into dreamtime by it. The energy was most noticeable in my solar plexus. It felt like a tube of energy going completely through me right below my ribcage. As I lingered in the amazing comfort of it, I had the visual of a bright light shooting out of my midsection like a spotlight. 

I focused on my breathing to just enjoy the experience but would instantly shift elsewhere. I had to fight to stay in my body and was conversing with my guide the whole time. I had instances where I knew I was seeing other people’s experiences but I didn’t know if they were other people’s dreams or just snapshots of their waking lives. 

In one instance I know I saw a little girl in the hospital receiving treatment for cancer. I witnessed the doctor reading through her medical notes and was able to see them clearly and read through them. All I remember now, despite repeating what I read to myself over and over, was that she had cancer and she was 9 years old. The other instances I saw are a blur to me now, but were similar, as if I were hovering in the corner of the room spying on people.

I fought this. I wanted to be present in my body, but it was not happening. Instead it seemed I was in full remote viewing mode and I began to realize this most acutely when I flew through my own house inspecting various objects and my own children sleeping in their beds. I remember thinking, “If only I had someone to confirm what I am seeing.”

The remote viewing came as a result of what I was talking with my guide about. He was asking me what I would like to do. It was clear that for some reason I was being given the opportunity to utilize my astral body to do things I normally would not. I couldn’t think of anything I was interested in doing. I remember replying, “I want to feel the Kundalini.” My guide laughed and said, “You are.” I realized then that he was correct. I just wasn’t feeling the Kundalini as intensely as I had hoped (as in up through my crown full rising). So, I told him, “I want to help people.” In response, the energy in my solar plexus intensified and other areas responded in kind – my chest and my head especially. I felt like my entire Being was a blazing Light.

The feeling of being this Light was comforting and I kept being carried away by it into remote viewing mode (or something like it). Even when I changed positions in bed the energy kept blazing through me and I would shift OOB so frequently that I began to lose track of whether I was in physical reality or elsewhere. The cool part is that I shifted out of my body via the center of my body. So, I had no racing heart or other bothersome sensations. The sensation of it was awesome. So fluid and natural.

One vivid recollection is of talking to my ex-husband for a moment. He was laying on his back looking up at me. He seemed quite young but he was full of regret and sadness. Though we didn’t speak aloud about what was bothering him, I knew why he was sad and why I was there. I said to him, “I did love you, just not as much as you loved me and I’m sorry for that.” I could feel his anguish and knew that his past with me still haunted him sometimes. When I told him “I did love you” I could sense his questioning. He didn’t understand why I would leave and wondered what he did wrong, and that was what kept him bound to the past. 

Despite the amazing energy and wanting to linger in it for the rest of the day, I made myself get up. When I stood up, my body felt oddly limber and refreshed. I felt wonderful!

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Lucid Dream: Build Something

Woke around 6am. A major thunderstorm with thunder that shook the house, bright lightning and intense rain woke me. Somehow I was able to ignore it and go back to sleep.

Lucid Dream: Plum Tree

I was in a small house in a living room. It was very dimly lit but I could make out the furniture and who was there with me. On a sofa sat my BIL and SIL and my SIL’s mother who passed some time ago from cancer. The older woman was passed out while the other two were sitting quietly together. 

The old woman woke up and said, “I need a cup of coffee (awareness).” She got up and left to get it. I laughed, remembering how this woman use to always have a cup of coffee with her – and a cigarette. Flashes of memory came to me and I wondered briefly if this habit of hers was what led to her death. Probably. I also recognized that coffee = awareness.

I spoke to my BIL and SIL, telling them what I just witnessed. I said, “Remember the old sofa in the living room? The pink one? That was the one she use to sit in all the time. Remember?” They seemed not to even notice me, what I was saying, or that the woman had been there. I tried to get them to look around and be more aware but they just stared, faced blank. 

I walked toward the front door saying aloud, “I know. You’re asleep and have no idea you’re dreaming.” When I said this I became very lucid, instantly knowing I was in a dream.

The front door was beckoning to me. I could see rays of light coming through the cracks in the door. I opened it as my SIL, who was now my older sister, came up to me and said, “I’m not dreaming.” I looked at her, barely noticing the shift in personas and said, motioning to the open door, “Look! It’s light out. Let’s go outside.”

Outside was a huge tree, branches heavy with mango-sized, purple fruits. The trees branches were so heavy they nearly touched the ground. I reached up and touched one. I thought of it as a “plum” (youth, vitality, strength). It was very ripe. My sister grabbed one immediately, plucking it from the tree and holding it in her hand. I saw it was a bit overripe, its skin wrinkled like a raisin (loss of youth and vitality). I said something about finding a better one and began to look. The branches moved higher and I couldn’t reach most of the fruit. Finally, I grabbed one and picked it. It was smaller than the others but perfectly ripe. Someone (my sister?) asked me if I knew how to eat it. I inspected the dark purple flesh and said, “Yes.” I thought of peeling away the skin but never took a bite because a sudden wave of energy wrapped itself around me, pulling me to my sleeping body.

Note: A few days ago while I was working from home, I heard someone in Spirit say, “I love you.” I stopped and listened, feeling a warm energy in my spine. I asked, “Who is this?” I heard back the name of my husband’s old boss. The reason this is relevant is because the woman in the above dream was his wife. At the time I wondered, “Why would he say that to me?” I realize now it is because, though he didn’t seem to in life, he does love me.

Lucid Dream: Build Something

When I returned to my body I easily transitioned back to the dreamstate, this time fully lucid. At first I wasn’t sure I was in a dream it felt so real and purposefully returned to my body to test whether I was asleep or not. The energy that resulted confirmed I was indeed asleep. I could feel my physical body. I “touched” my body briefly and then shifted my awareness back to the dreamstate.

I found myself in my mom’s kitchen, a place I often end up when I go OOB or have lucid dreams. The first parts of the lucid experience are lost to me now, probably because I spent them going back and forth between my body and the dream. I shifted at least three times. I don’t know why I did this, really. At times it seemed like I was purposefully pulling myself back and then another “force” would return me back to the lucid dream. Moments would pass and this would occur again, as if I was playing tug-o-war with myself. lol

Finally staying in the dream, I stood in front of the backdoor that leads to the porch and the pool area. Like in the previous dream, it was very dimly lit and hard to see yet there were beams of light streaming through the closed door inviting me to open it. 

As I opened the door I remember thinking, “I’m going to see it when it was a room and not a porch.” Memories of the room were on my mind along with the timeframe which was the late 90’s when my ex-husband rented the room for a while. 

Sure enough, when I opened the door the old room came into view just as I remembered it. The light was very dim, though, so all I could see were shadows of it. I remembering knowing the dim light was because I didn’t trust my memory.

A familiar ball of energy approached me and I instantly knew it was my deceased dog, Trooper. Thrilled, I reached down and petted him, enjoying his energy and pleased to know he was happy. He circled me energetically and I remember calling him by name. It was hard to see my old friend clearly, which I really wanted. I said something to try and bring light to the room but it never appeared. This perplexed me.

Suddenly, a man appeared, walking right through the closed back door to the room. I couldn’t make out his features at all but I knew he was male. He seemed to flow as if he were made of energy; not solid at all yet solid at times. If I hadn’t been aware that I was dreaming, I would’ve thought him a ghost. He stopped about two feet in front of me, and said, “Come with me. I want to show you something.” 

I desperately wanted to make out his features but couldn’t. In my memory his face looks like a blur. I just know he had short, brown hair.

The man turned and exited the door, which was now wide open. Brilliant light poured in through the opening making the dimly lit room where I stood seem all the darker. I didn’t hesitate to follow the man into the light. Trooper flew out the door ahead of me, running around the yard excitedly. As I walked down the steps I called him, “Monty”, which is my current dog’s name. I corrected myself in my mind, saying, “No, Trooper”, noting that, to me, their energy was similar and so the “mistake” was understandable.

The man had disappeared around the corner but I somehow knew he was over by the pool. When I looked, sure enough he was standing at a table by the lounge chairs. I walked up to him and he smiled, more solid now and easier to track. He stood over a table that was covered with random objects – square sheets of shiny metal lay in a pile. He held one up to me and motioned down at the other items on the table. I could see white plastic items alongside bolts, screws and other supplies. The metal he held in his hand was very thin but extremely shiny. It confused me, though, and I wondered what the man was up to.

He took a bowl in his hand and walked to the edge of the pool. He tossed small, white pellets into the pool. I thought, “Chlorine” (clarity). The man turned and walked back to the table, looking at me expectantly. What did he want?

I hesitated and stared at the man and the scene. Who was he? I suspected if I got closer that I would experience an energetic attraction to him. I didn’t feel anything off the man but I sensed he was “tempting” me. I don’t know if it was with his energy, the items, or both. Or perhaps I was sensing his call – an “invitation”? 

There was a knowing that if I stood there focusing too long, I would return to my body. Part of me wanted this, though. I wanted to run away.

The man, still holding the metal sheet in his hands, held the metal out to me and asked, “Want to build something [with me]?” 

That was it. I was outta there. LOL

Conversation

When I returned to my body it was with effort because there was a pull to return to the dream. Somehow I won out and stayed put but the man in the dream remained in my peripheral. Was he a guide? His energy was not threatening. If anything he felt amused.

I found myself in the in-between seated at the table by the pool. The items were all gone but the man stood across from me. Again he was difficult to make out; a ghost. 

The man said to me, “You came here for a reason.” The feeling I got from him came with memory, memory that was overwhelmingly hard to resist, but I rejected it. I replied that it felt like I was done, that there was nothing left for me to do here anymore.

Memory came of something that happened a couple of nights ago while I was at our company Christmas party. An employee who had been taking care of his grandmother was present at the party. Surprised to see him, I asked him how she was. He said she had died. His answer had the effect of immediate sadness in me and my heart began to hurt. I tried to hold back my tears but they escaped despite my efforts. He was very straight faced and seemingly unaffected but I knew he was in pain. He told me that he would grieve later, that life must go on. I wiped the corners of my eyes but could feel my face getting hotter. This always happens when I get emotional.  

The memory seemed significant. I wondered briefly if the meditation I’d been doing had succeeded in opening my heart.

Pulled back to the conversation, I asked this “guide” what he meant when he asked me “want to build something?” The response he gave was received as if my own thought. He was asking me to “create” what I want in life, but also to allow the creative energy to flow and be who I am meant to be. He was telling me he would help me. 

I told him I feel “dead” and wish only to feel “alive” again but I don’t know how. I heard the word “build” while he said aloud, “Let the pieces show you what they want to become.” I saw the pieces on the table floating up and coming together as he said this. I understood. 

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Microcosmic Orbit Experience: Exercise #2

I did exercise 2, Harvesting Yang, of the Microcosmic Orbit class last night. It lasts only 20 minutes and should be practiced when the foundational exercise (#1) is mastered. 

I probably should have just listened to this exercise rather than trying it for myself since I have not yet mastered exercise #1. Thankfully, the exercise was easy and I didn’t have any issues. I was unable to feel much energy in the perineum and the part about pulling energy up in little bits did not seem to be working at first. Then, I noticed that, when I breathed in and pulled up ever so slightly, I could feel energy move up over the front of my pubic bone and into my erogenous zone. It was very slight as if teasing me. It didn’t get strong, thankfully, so I just noticed and it soon passed.

The facilitator of the exercise warned in exercise #1 that the energy of the root/perineum can sometimes create arousal and be highly erotic. He says the reason for this is conscious or unconscious intention over time. So, again, a conditioned response but one that can be corrected. I am happy that my response was not so sexual as to be distracting. I have felt the erotic feeling in the past and it is difficult to ignore!

Eventually, I could feel energy trickling up into my heart which wasn’t suppose to happen so I had to stop, focus on breathing deeper, root the breath, and begin again. 

When it was over, I did a regular meditation for about 15 minutes and went to bed.

About two hours after going to sleep I was awakened by a pressure at the base of my spine. It was highly uncomfortable! Ouch!! Not only did it feel similar to needing to have a bowel movement, it was painful to the point that it was concerning me. The only other time I’ve felt pressure and discomfort in this area was after a strenuous run where I became overly dehydrated. I imagine the feeling might be similar to what someone would feel after being violated via the anus! 

After a few minutes of discomfort and trying, unsuccessfully, to extinguish it, I asked my guidance for help. I immediately received back a visual of myself on the floor in bridge pose. Wasting no time, I got out of bed and got down on the floor. Before getting into bridge pose, I pulled one knee into my chest and then the other, breathing deeply. Afterward, I got into bridge pose and held it for a few breaths. Almost immediately the pressure went away! When the feeling was completely gone, I got back into bed. Unfortunately, the feeling returned but with less intensity, so I resume bridge pose while in bed and it went away again. I fell asleep soon after and when I awoke there was no discomfort in the area. 

Though I can’t be certain, the pain at the base of my spine may have been brought on by doing exercise #2 before I was ready. IDK for sure, though.

I researched bridge pose to see if it was helpful in balancing the root chakra. It came up as the #1 yoga pose for releasing excess energy from the root chakra! Ha! The next pose on the list was the one I did before bridge – pulling each knee into the chest. 🙂

So, the next night (last night) I repeated exercise #1. This time the energy was much less obvious in the areas of focus, especially in the abdominal area. Again, keeping my attention on the areas was a struggle. I kept losing attention and would have to self-correct whenever this happened. It was less than the first time, which is good, but I still have a ways to go. I was able to focus attention on the perineum and feel the energy there, which was almost imperceptible. The cool thing was that I was able to feel all of the areas together as one mass of subtle energy. I plan to keep practicing exercise #1 until I can maintain consistent attention without drifting off and feel the warmth of the perineum.

The ideal times to practice these exercises are: 1. Around sunrise (5-7am), 2. Around sunset (5-7pm), and 3. at midnight on the full moon. This is impractical for me because of my schedule. My kids are up and making noise at sunrise and sunset (dinner time is at sunset). Midnight is doable but being it is so late I will probably fall asleep. lol Thankfully, these exercises can be done at any time, but if done during one of the recommended times the environment will assist.