I was standing in the center of a garden courtyard of what appeared to be an ancient temple or castle. There were others around, mostly standing near the edges of my vision and out of sight. I was wearing a long, flowing, white gown or robe. The events prior to this part of the dream are extremely hazy. All I recall is there was some discussion of “fence cutting” and interaction with a few others, one being a young boy with light brown hair wearing a huge grin.
Feet solidly grounded on the earth, I held my hands up, spread my fingers wide and began to use my hands to summon energy up from my feet into my legs, hips and on upward. I remember feeling powerful and confident as I did this, as if I had done it a million times before. The sense was that I was a priestess or someone with similar spiritual training. As the energy moved upward it grew in intensity, ballooning outward as it spread. When the energy hit my root and second chakras it exploded to the point that I became super conscious in the dream. Unfortunately, the intensity mixed with sudden awareness (which surprised me) instantly transported me back to my bed and my physical body where the residual energy lingered for quite some time.
I couldn’t return to sleep from the excitement I felt. I have never had a K dream in which I was the one who initiated the K in myself. Normally someone else is helping me or interacting with me, seeming to be the initiator of the energy. Not only that, but I was aware of being fully in control and felt powerful and confident about it. It is quite a different feeling than when I am with another or when another seems to be helping move the energy for me.
It was obvious the energy was mine, or me, or however you prefer it. It was very clear and refreshing, like the sense one gets after a Spring rain, flowing and cleansing as it progressed upward. Yet at the same time the desirous sensations that often arise with root chakra were very obviously present, but not in such a way as to make me feel the effect of them.
It is easy to think with the K that someone else is somehow sparking the K fire inside me. Especially since most of my K experiences were in conjunction with someone who I felt a connection to I couldn’t quite explain. This K experience felt empowering and freeing. Even though it did not fully rise, as it has in other instances, I am not disappointed. It felt like it may have burst through a blockage in my second chakra also, which is always welcome!
I do hope to have more experiences like this one. 🙂
Had two accidental WBTB (wake back to bed) induced OBEs. Woke up just before 5am wide awake. Got up, had a drink, visited the bathroom and then went back to bed but didn’t fall asleep for a while.
OBE: Floating Out
I was having a dream about my daughter’s friend needing a tire. I remember wondering why she would need a tire when she didn’t have a car, much less a drivers license yet. This may have been what caused me to come to body awareness, but I don’t remember.
The next thing I recall is being in bed laying on my back. I feel subtle energy vibrations but am not sure I can exit. I attempt to sit up and it feels too heavy like being pulled back into body. I get the idea to try to float out. I tell myself, “Float”. My legs start to float up and there is a distinct awareness that I have two bodies. I have never tried this technique before and am thrilled that it works. As soon as my torso starts to rise, I float all the way out.
I fly towards the bedroom door but don’t recall the journey there. I seem to shift into another scene immediately. I am in a house where there seems to be a house party in progress. I am face to face with two men talking, both are holding glasses and look directly at me. I say. “Well hi there” (not like me at all). The blonde man on the right puts down his glass and pulls me towards him. He open mouth kisses me sloppily. It was not pleasant so I pull away and start to leave. For some reason I pause and turn around. I tell him I’ll show him my boob (LOL no idea why). I turn and start taking of my shirt but it won’t come off. The men try to help. It won’t budge. I notice my physical heart pounding erratically. I come back into my body.
OBE: I Want to Feel It All
I’m in a dream with my boys but they are both much younger. I recognize I’m dreaming and attempt to leave my body but again am not certain I can without waking. This time I am laying in my stomach but in the dream I am laying on my side. I end up standing up and walking right through my son’s leg. I fly up to a second floor where there is a party. I can hear a familiar voice above the crowd. I ignore the voice and continue outside going through double glass doors.
Outside it is a clear night. The stars are bright and there are lights from other houses. I say aloud, “Show me what I need to see”. I fly higher as I say this, looking down at the scene below. Then I feel a force pulling me backwards very swiftly. As I am being pulled I sense that if I go with it, I will be pulled through what looks like iron bars. This doesn’t phase me. Considering what to do, I remember that singing helps raise my vibration. So, I start singing and the force stops immediately. I fly up and soar as I sing. I end up flying through a city. The city had a lot of cobblestone and old buildings. I remember the words to my song were questions and answers. Questions like, “Why am I here?” The answer I sang, “I want to feel it all!”
At one point I saw some people dining outside. A young blonde woman was dining alone. I flew up to her and gently touched her face. I told her she was beautiful in my song. Until I touched her she seemed not to see me. Once I touched her, she looked right into my eyes and acknowledged me. Then I went and flew to a guy sitting at another table. I sat in his lap and kissed him on the cheek. I recall both of their faces vividly.
I kept singing but had thoughts that my boys from the dream would notice I wasn’t there. Then I remembered the boys were in a dream and my body was asleep in bed. I felt for my body to check in on it. All was well. So I kept on flying and singing.
I turned to see the blonde woman from before. She walked up to me, smiled and said, “I want you to close your eyes”. I said, “If I do that, I’ll wake up”. She seemed to accept my answer. She asked me. “What brings you here?” We started walking together. I said, “I’m out of my body and just visiting”. I remember noticing my answer and thinking it unexpected. I’ve never said that while OOB. As we were walking I felt myself slowly being pulled back to my physical body. The last thing I saw was the woman’s head as she was about to walk into a low hanging wall. Her head went right through it.
I’m staying at my new house so there shouldn’t be any spirit activity. Yet last night I was awakened around 11:30pm. I don’t recall why I woke – if there was a dream or some communication that I received, IDK. I opened my eyes and saw above me a swirl of smoke that moved and had color and brightness. It was elongated almost reminding me of a horses head. There was an illuminated sort of backlit bluish-green color as well. The room wasn’t completely dark making it very obvious to me what I was seeing. I said aloud, “What the…” and with that, I blinked, and when I re-opened my eyes, it was gone.
I struggled to return to sleep for some time after. I had to use the bathroom so I got up, which was difficult in itself because I worried I would encounter something on the way to the bathroom. Nothing happened. The whole time I was putting protection around myself, my bedroom and the entire house.
As I began to drift back to sleep, I got visuals, likely communication from this entity who was female. I was shown the work I had done that day. I was clearing debris from the old mobile home site – pieces of vinyl skirting, old concrete blocks and various pipes. The amount of vinyl siding was ridiculous. Some had been there so long that grass had set roots in the grooves. As I worked, I imagined how the place got into such disrepair, thinking of the excuses made to avoid doing the work needed to keep the place nice. The man who lived there was very obese, so I imagined he thought of how tired it made him and opted to eat a snack or take a nap rather than take action to clean up his messes. I also thought of his wife, an alcoholic, and how bored she must have been. I thought of her choosing to drink rather than clean (there were numerous bottles of cleaners strewn about) and her thinking how she was the only one cleaning and if no one else cared, why should she? Ultimately, I felt that both had gone into complete apathy about their living situation, among other things. I got very angry at first and then ultimately felt sorry for them. To live in such filth and feel you can do nothing about it has to be an awful feeling.
Another communication I received was memory of when I was clearing out the addition. This was early on, just after we had just purchased the property. I found boxes full of documents, photos and other family keepsakes. There were old photo albums, similar to the ones I use to see at my grandparents house. I wondered why anyone would just leave personal items like that. The spirit focused me in on a name I read in that paperwork. I only remember now that it began with a M.
Realizing I was receiving communication, I again put up protection around me. I received a direct message that I had nothing to worry about, she didn’t have the energy to do it again (manifest).
I didn’t sleep well the rest of the night and decided to smudge the place as soon as I can get my sage here. That will be tonight because my husband is bringing it to me.
After some thought, I realized I might have stirred up the energy by clearing the old mobile home site debris. I plan to do more clearing today, this time with a rake to grab all the smaller stuff. I will say a prayer and smudge the area as soon as the sage is available. I have no idea if it will work as it seems the spirit is attempting to communicate with me and does not seem to be Earthbound. She may be lingering here with unfinished business but aware that she no longer has a body. This is not uncommon and I prefer communicating with this kind of “ghost” than with the ones who do not know the are dead.
In the past, spirit has been attracted to my “light”. This may simply be that. If so, typically just me asking them to go away is enough.
I had my first Kundalini dream in ages last night. I awakened within the dream and stayed lucid for some time before the intensity of the energy finally woke me. It was the wonderful heart bliss!
I was in my Mom’s kitchen kneeling down by the cabinets near the sink when I became semi-lucid. I was talking to a man who looked very much like Pedro Pascal (The Mandalorian). He was in the living room talking to me and my back was to him most of the time. I could feel the heart bliss only slightly as I was focused on shuffling through some things under the sink. I don’t remember all that he said but the more he spoke to me, the more the heart bliss intensified. When I saw him I thought how similar he looked to the actor but that thought was interrupted by him asking me something about a “mirror”. I got up and went into my old bedroom.
The dream shifted to my bedroom where I sat focused yet again on a box or something (I can’t remember what). I was sitting or kneeling in the corner when I heard the man asked me, “Why are you in here?” I said to him, “I’m distracting myself [from the feeling]”. Just turning and replying to his question shot a surge of bliss to my heart. I began to lose my breath which is my typical response. I also started to cry because of how amazingly beautiful it was. I could see his face distinctly now and the bliss just intensified. There was more conversation, mostly how I was afraid of the bliss and other things. I do recall the word “mirror” came up again, also. It was like he was counseling me, trying to get me to recognize there is nothing to fear, that this bliss IS me.
As we were talking, I awoke and the bliss remained. I could feel it expanding upward and downward but it never did so fully. Instead I could feel my root light up ever so slightly and again lost my breath. Memory of other times this has happened but to the full extent came to me. It is spectacular, like I am exploding in love. The love shooting simultaneously out of my crown and root. Again, I was reminded that everything I am feeling is me and to not be afraid. The energy continued for some time only finally subsiding when I rolled over and returned to sleep.
Just a short dream experience to share from last night.
Prior to bed I had a pretty bad headache which was brought on by a massive, emotional purge (I’ll spare you the details). I opted not to take anything for it, hoping sleep would make it better. When I focused on the energy that was the pain I could detect a small circle, about the size of a quarter, at the very top (crown) of my head where there was no pain, just a tingling. Unfortunately the pain was too distracting for me to tune in for long. In fact, it seemed only to get worse. It kept waking me up and, at one point, I thought I might need to go to the ER. Just as I had that thought, the pain subsided. Ha!
But anyway, on to the lucid sphere visit I had.
About an hour into sleep, during a period in which I thought I was awake because the dream I was having was in my bedroom, I had a lucid moment. I had been bringing some things into my space but I don’t remember what. I only remember hauling them one by one. At some point my vision came on very clearly and I could see the ceiling of my bedroom. In the darkness I saw a shape take form. It came out of the ceiling like a mist and formed into a solid sphere not much bigger than my fist. Surprised, I focused on it and thought for sure there was an entity in my bedroom (remember I think I’m awake). As soon as I had that thought the sphere zoomed straight towards me. Before it made contact I jolted awake, breathing heavy from the shock of it.
Afterwards it took me a while to figure out what happened because I still thought it all happened when I was awake. I looked around my room for any sign of the sphere. This is when I realized I had been OOB because the memory of the sphere was so very different than the darkness in my room. The sphere and the space it was in was outlined in light and the blackness was more of a blue hue than it is in reality.
Around this point is when I heard a voice say, “Lux”. There was another word with it but I forgot it because I knew immediately that lux = light. The voice was telling me about my Light.
Thoughts
I don’t have many lucid dreams or OBEs these days. In fact, my dream recall has been shit. When I do happen to remember or have a lucid-type experience, inevitably I am being hit! This is just the most recent in a long string of being attacked by an object! The most common attack is by a tree (lol) but this sphere, now that is interesting! I can still see it vividly – a grey, perfectly symmetrical sphere with a slight, glowing outline to it spinning like a planet. And I truly thought I was awake and being visited by Spirit or an E.T. LOL I am sure my guides are getting a good laugh.
So, if I keep getting beat up in my dreams/experiences, and it is continuing to happen, then I haven’t figured out the message or I haven’t done what I need to do yet. Hmmmm. And here I thought it was just a way to wake me up.
I would really like to have an OBE again and NOT be beat up. Sigh.
What a long weekend! This was the second weekend we’ve been at the new property working to clean, clear and prepare the land and home.
Friday and Saturday was junk removal. When they arrived they cleared the mobile home very quickly. It was almost an entire trailer load! They returned the next day and got another two loads from there. There is more, still, but progress is being made. Below is an image of just one of the loads of junk that was removed.
We met the neighbors (my husband had introduced himself when we first saw the land) and they offered to help. They are very nice. The wife is close to my age, the husband is 63 and already retired. They also have a pond and have really created a wonderful space. They have several cabins dotting the area with a pavilion, kitchen/bathroom area and stage for live bands. They use it once a year for a family reunion. I got a tour and it was impressive, exactly what my mom wants her property to be but sadly probably will never create.
The husband is quite handy and built his own home. He owns a backhoe (or something close, I am not familiar with the name) and said he would be open to using it to help us. He and his wife even came over with their two riding lawnmowers and mowed a good portion of our land. The husband, Randy, mowed paths all over our property – to the pond, the the other buildings, along the fence and road. They also have a stocked pond and said our boys could fish and swim anytime. Since our pond is still not giving any fish (they are there but not biting I’m sure) I took the boys there and, after some coaxing since they are impatient, got them catching fish. Both are now super exciting about fishing and want to go back as soon as they can to fish some more. lol Both of my boys caught more fish than me and bigger ones even! There are bass, crappie, catfish and bluegill in abundance. They stock it and feed their fish often. They let us take some of the fish we caught to put into our pond. We are going to stock ours some point because we/they think our otters are eating up our fish.
The beehives are on the property now, too. We have eight and the beekeeper was very nice and navigated to our land without issue. I haven’t seen the hives yet because he asked us to not go around them that day because they tend to be grumpy after being moved. I will look at them next weekend and take pics. The beekeeper did say the hives will not be there to make honey. He uses them exclusively to help landowners get ag exemption. He said he may give us some of his other honey but he had a rough season last year and took losses. We are fine with whatever. He is a very nice and knowledgeable man.
Anyway, the inside of the mobile home is completely cleaned out except for the stuff we opted to keep (construction supplies). It makes such a difference in the energy! My husband spent the entire first day fixing the water. First he fixed the intake from the pond. The previous owner told us the beavers have chewed off the floats in the past and so my husband swam out and, sure enough, no floats. The water was being sucked off the bottom of the pond which made it stink really bad. Once he fixed it the water was perfect! It was deceptive enough to cause us to almost accidentally drink it – oops! When the water was turned on to the home he discovered several leaks under that he fixed. I think there was 5 with one he has yet to fix because he thinks he might just need to do a full re-plumb of the whole home. He also got the hot water heater going. So we have running hot and cold water now that doesn’t smell like death! I am so, so thankful to my husband. The second bathroom is completely disconnected though. Also, while he was under the home he encountered a dead raccoon. It was freshly dead and huge! He and the boys buried it.
Friday night we stayed the night (with hot/cold, fresh water) and I, of course, was not tired. I was too excited about all the happenings of the day. When I did fall asleep I had an intense dream.
Dream: Mother Gaia
In the dream I was inside a bathroom with a heavy set woman. She asked for my help. She needed me to wipe her bum. She couldn’t reach it. I agreed, happy to help. When I wiped she winced. The poo had been there a while and she had “diaper rash”. I got her cleaned up and she was thankful. She then presented me with two DVDs or CDs saying they would help me. One was about Angels. I took it and told her thank you and hugged her. When I hugged her I could feel her voluptuousness wrap around me comfortingly. It felt like squishy blankets of love. I began to sob and sob, falling into her warm, squishy skin folds. The crying woke me and I continued to cry.
My guidance was there and I understood why I was crying. I am still recovering from so much loss. However, I knew this mobile home experience – clearing and fixing it up – was a physical representation of my healing process. I was reminded of many, many dreams I’ve had in the past of being in mobile homes with unsteady foundations (like this one) and full of junk. All pointing to me feeling unsafe and needing to de-clutter emotionally and spiritually. When I woke I told my husband, saying I think the entire process of clearing the home and land is helping me clear my own “junk” and that repurposing the home will also be therapeutic in that it will guide me through my own rebuilding process. He agreed saying he felt similarly.
The heavy set woman may have represented Gaia and her message was, “Heal the land and it will heal you.” Such love!
I was also told when I woke that “tomorrow” would be “magical”. I think it might be the day before the eclipse because I immediately thought of the Sunday before eclipse. How it will be magical, IDK. I did have a good day that morning, however, in that me and my boys had such a great fishing experience. Our neighbor, Sam (the wife), also seemed very interested in being around me. Her energy wasn’t needly or exhausting and we talked a while. When I told her about the land I almost started to cry and she understood because of her love for her land and her life. She says, “It’s heaven out here”. I told her I could tell before I even met her she was a very happy person. I heard her singing early in the morning as she gardened. When I was near her (she didn’t know I was there) I could sense she was genuine and good.
I also sense my husband is falling in love with the land. His connection with the neighbor, Randy, also shows promise. He is all about connecting with people and he and Randy get along really well. I could sense that my husband might actually end up wanting to live out there some day. This caused me to cry a little thinking how the land might help him, too. He needs it,
So, overall a great weekend!
Here are some recent photos of the property. The snake is a plain bellied water snake. He was living under the boat alongside a field mouse. Ha! The big tree is an ancient Elm. Isn’t it magnificent?
I had a string of interesting dreams last night. But first, I want to share a vision I keep having. I’ve seen it both in dreams and upon waking. In the first one, a dream, I saw myself with blue painted fingernails and wearing blue clothing. I inspected my fingernails, noting the strange blue tinge and trying to figure out why they were blue. In the visions I’ve had, the last of which was last night, I saw myself with blue skin.
At first, I thought it must be indicating a chakra, maybe the throat chakra, but this blue was not that color blue. Instead, it was lighter and seemed almost to glow.
My next thought was it was exactly the same color of the blue Hindu gods and goddesses. I did look up why the gods and goddesses of Hinduism are blue. Mostly the blue coloring is for Vishnu, meant to depict the color of rain clouds, so more of a steel gray, but sometimes it is brighter blue, like the color I have been seeing in my visions. Blue is the color of the sky and sea, one reflects the other and neither actually has any color at all. Thus, blue is the color of infinity. Hindu Scriptures declare the Ultimate reality to be inconceivable and inexpressible, beyond the grasp of the 5 senses. The only way to express the vastness (Brahman) which is Being, Consciousness and Bliss, is through the color blue.
So, in my vision, I seemed to become a blue goddess. Perhaps Kali?
Dream #1: Running from My Shadow
This dream was unexpected. I very rarely feel fear in my dreams now days but I definitely felt it coming on in this dream. I don’t recall many details now because it was so early in the night (woke at 11pm). What I most remember is that I was avoiding this negative entity that seemed like a giant shadow. It was trying to envelope me and I was resisting. There were many voices at the time, some my own, some my guides and some from this Shadow. The voices of the Shadow were recognizable and familiar. In fact, I’ve memory of chasing it away in my early twenties and calling it a “gin”. Towards the end of the dream I was putting up protection and pushing the negative voices out of my mind. I could sense a shield around my mind and, as I woke, my vision was filled with spheres of all colors floating and undulating as if alive (hypnagogia), indicative of entry into the OBE state.
Dream #2: Classroom in my Bedroom
I returned to sleep and the next thing I recall is having students sitting all around me in my bedroom. I was still in bed, blanket up around me snugly, but didn’t seem to think it odd that my room was full of students. It was an English class and the teacher, standing near my door, told us that we had to do a research paper. She gave us two topics to choose from and left. Everyone paired up and began discussing their assignment. I sat up in bed, looking at them sitting on my floor and leaning up against my walls and window, and protested loudly about the assignment. I said that I didn’t think it was a good one. What teacher limits her students to only two topics? Why not allow us to explore topics we are most interested in? I then told them I was going to drop out of the class. I didn’t need it. I already had a masters and bachelor’s degree and was just taking the class out of boredom. A male student said he was, too. I asked him if he had a degree and he said no. I told him not to bother, telling him all the jobs I used my degrees for were miserable for me. Only when I decided to follow a different path did I find a very unexpected job that made me happy. He asked what it was and I said, “Accounting.” The entire class was listening attentively at this point and it seemed I might have helped some decide that college was not the right path for them.
Dream #3: Black Hole Sun (Eclipse)
I didn’t categorize this as a Kundalini dream but it most definitely had elements of Kundalini energy.
My husband and I parked in an unfamiliar driveway. I was driving but didn’t know how I got there. I immediately got out, finding myself under a large, open, red umbrella. I was wearing my pajamas – a pair of short shorts and a t-shirt – and was barefoot. Still confused, I looked up to a tree and saw a sweatshirt (protection) hanging on it. I pulled it down but then threw it back up not wanting to take something that wasn’t mine. Then my husband drove away and left me there. Not sure what to do, I panicked a bit. I had no phone or any way of contacting help. I felt lost. So, I wandered down the road looking for familiar sign posts. Nothing.
Then I saw a big truck stop in the middle of the road. It opened its doors and out came hundreds of cats (feminine energy, sexuality). I stopped short and said, “Feral cats.” People were coming up and picking up the cats, though, leading me to believe they were not feral. I wandered closer, observing, and saw the cats were friendly. Still, I kept my distance.
As I turned to leave I saw a little boy crying. He was afraid of the cats. I comforted him and turned him towards the cats, telling him it was safe. I got an adult to assist and left the cats behind.
Then I was at a party. It was full of people I didn’t know, some speaking a language I didn’t recognize. I sat down and waited, still not knowing where I was. Then I noticed a man staring at me. With his stare came a strong, magnetic energy, one I was familiar with. I turned away, feeling immediately nervous, and then moved across the room to avoid him. In my hurry I bumped into my husband who had seen me avoiding the man. He laughed and told me, “He wants to take you into the bedroom.” I didn’t respond and found a corner to hide in.
Eventually the man found me. He came up to me, face to face, and put his left hand on my right shoulder. Our eyes locked and I froze. The energy was super intense and magnetic. It terrified me. The man wanted me to come with him. His energy beckoned me and I knew I would not be able to resist for long. This is when a woman said something to the man. I think she was his wife. He lingered and the woman asked me, “Are you married?” I nodded yes. She told the man to leave me be. He listened and left. I watched the woman for a bit. She was with another woman and a child of around 3 climbed into her lap. I finally went up to her and asked her about the man. Though I don’t recall our conversation, I recognized that she was his wife and they had an arrangement that allowed them to be with other partners.
Then there was a commotion and everyone rushed outside to the driveway. It was really crowded and the sky was a weird shade of reds and oranges. I looked up. Realizing it was the eclipse I averted my eyes. I saw the woman from earlier and went up to her. I could see the eclipse shadow on the concrete. It was nearly complete, a blackness surrounded by a rim of fire. The woman turned to me and we embraced and I sobbed and sobbed as she held me in her arms. The entire time the crazy energy of the eclipse was all around me.
Then there was a hush and I turned and looked up. The sun was mottled red like it was going to explode.
Seeing the sun like this woke me. Tears were still in my eyes and a chorus from a song was going through my head: “Black hole sun won’t you come and wash away the rain…..”.
Discussion with Guides
After I woke, I couldn’t return to sleep. The energy from the encounter in the dream along with the emotional release at the end was hard to ignore.
My guidance was close, asking me about how I felt in certain parts of the dream. Specifically, the part where my eyes locked with the strange man. I told them it terrified me. When asked why, it was hard to explain. I think it comes down to total loss of control and not knowing what will happen if that happens. Yet everything in me yearns to follow the feeling and let go completely, to hell with the unknowns that follow. That part of me, the part that yearns, terrifies me.
When asked about how I felt when I was crying, I recalled a time in this life when I chose not to follow that yearning, choosing instead to complete a cycle/karmic contract. The feeling is beyond description. I recognized the feeling in the dream was the same – solid, unchangeable and full of regret.
Then there was the visual of the sun there at the end. It felt like a warning, or at the very least a message. Memory of OBEs I had years ago came to mind. In those OBE’s I would see the sun and the moon coming closer and closer together but they never quite touched. If they had, there would have been an eclipse that looked like what I imagine a “black hole sun” would look like. Those OBEs were indicative of Union, or the merging of masculine and feminine, yin and yang, hieros gamos.
I can’t help but connect the vision of seeing myself as a blue goddess with this last dream. Kali is the goddess of time, doomsday and death. She is worshipped as the Divine Mother and seen as a divine protector who brings liberation. During the discussion with my guidance about my feelings related to that intense, magnetic yearning of which I am terrified, it was relayed to me that “perhaps what lies on the other side is….liberation”.
It’s been a while and I apologize. The holidays are not a fun time for me and I have been sick twice, once after Thanksgiving and once after Christmas. I also continue to have debilitating dry eye that causes me to limit screen time to only that which is necessary.
I could write a recap of 2023, but I don’t want to waste my time on a year that I would much rather forget altogether. I could write about what I feel lies ahead for 2024, but I prefer not to look ahead that far.
Today I am going to post a short OBE I was blessed with around 4am this morning. It is so rare that I have OBEs, lucid dreams or other experiences these days that I cherish them when they do happen now. Even if they are super short, like this one was.
Short OBE
I woke abruptly around 3:30am. After some time in a discussion with a guide (private, sorry), I asked to be allowed to fall asleep. I was asked, “Do you promise to do something about it?” I said, “Yes.” This seemed to be what was needed to release my mind and I fell asleep.
The next thing I remember is talking to someone. I don’t remember the conversation and it stopped the minute I began to focus on my surroundings. It was dark and I was outside. I walked past a church on my right. I couldn’t see it but I knew it was a church. In front of me, growing along the edge of a parking lot, were shrubs. I noticed a new one had broken through the concrete. It was almost past my knees it had grown so tall. I reached down and touched one of it’s waxy, dark green leaves. The leaf was nearly as large as my palm, cool to the touch and smooth.
Something about the feel of the plant caused me to pause. I turned to look at the church, but couldn’t see anything except the image in my mind. It was a small church with large windows. I turned back towards the shrub and decided to touch it again. This time I focused on how it felt. The cool, smooth leaf confirmed my suspicion. I thought to myself, “I’m out-of-body (OOB).”
In recognizing I was OOB, I began to sense not only my astral body but also my physical body. They were superimposed and the sensation of it was familiar. I had nearly forgotten how it felt. I could shift from one to the other with just a thought. It’s hard to describe but it’s sorta like the energetic equivalent of jumping on a trampoline, one is heavy and pulling you down while the other is light and pulls you up.
I looked up into the darkness and decided I could see. My vision turned on immediately and the scene in front of me presented itself in full color. Seeing through closed eyelids never ceases to amaze me. It was not dark outside after all. I could see the church behind me more clearly and the glossy green leaves of the plants in front of me. The church was closed and no one was around. The area reminded me a small, suburban community.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold the scene because I became too excited. It had been too long and all I wanted was to explore; to feel the freedom and lightness I knew was within reach.
I settled into my physical body smoothly and lay there a moment, hoping I would be able to return, but I did not. So, I ended up mulling over the OBE. The symbolism seemed to point to new growth amidst a situation in which no movement had been made in a long time (parking lot). The church was a reminder that a place of spiritual nourishment is within reach and has been this whole time.
Hoping I would be able to succeed again, I returned to sleep with the intent to go OOB. I did not.
Many dreams followed but I don’t have the ability to stare at this screen much longer than I already have.
Very cool dreams last night and a short OBE at the end. 🙂
Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry
The dream began at Taylor’s. I asked her if she had any time alone and/or privacy and sympathized with her for the lack of these things. It must be difficult having a private body guard and entourage all the time. She invited me to go to a bar with her and some friends. I agreed. Mostly I remember Taylor with her long, blonde hair at this time, not so much the others involved or the scene.
The entire time I was acutely aware of the age difference between myself and the rest of the group. There were approximately five of us total. There was me, Taylor, another girl and two men. One of the men had dark hair and was quite handsome in a kind of foreign or exotic way. The other one looked a whole lot like Matthew Perry.
We all sat together having a good time. I specifically avoided drinking any alcohol and was proud of myself for it. The others had plenty to drink and didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t drink. During this time I mentioned the age difference, saying that I was almost twice their age at 42. This error registered to me but I couldn’t figure out why and never correctly identified it in the dream despite my suspicions it was wrong. I also wished I were young again and thought back on my twenties and thirties contemplating how I would do things differently if I could do it again. Mostly, I missed my youthful appearance but when I mentioned this, the others reassured me that I still looked great, much younger than I claimed to be. In fact, they didn’t believe me when I told them my age.
At one point we were all at a piano. I think the exotic looking man was going to play or sing. My memory is mostly of looking down at the piano keys. Just above them, on the top of the piano, was a small, blue pill that looked similar to a sweet tart. It was wrap in such a way that I recognized it as a drug. I hesitated, wanting to eat it but reminding myself that I don’t do drugs. Eventually, I did take it but I don’t remember if I ate it. The pill itself had writing on it. I think it said MDMA (ecstasy).
It was getting late and the bar was about to close. I couldn’t believe how awake I was and mentioned to the group how I am usually in bed by 9pm. The topic of discussion went to that feeling of connection one has with their people. I casually mentioned that I felt it with the two men there. Again, age was discussed and I remember someone else being there who was not one of the group. He was a man who seemed to be in a haze or cloud within the dream. He explained to me something in images more than pictures. I saw a staircase heading up. On the steps were various people at different stages. He explained that the strongest connections would be with those who occupied the same step as I did. Eventually, though, they would leave or I would and we would no longer occupy the same step. The steps each represented spiritual progress. Spiritual maturity, varied and was not related to physical maturity/age. I remember thinking it made total sense.
Next, I recall reaching across and taking one of the men’s hands and asking him to act from his heart. His demeanor immediately changed and he got emotional, as did I. I did this with the second man also but he hardened himself, becoming noticeably stiff. I just held his hand longer, looked him in the eyes and asked him to focus on his heart. When he softened up, I smiled, tearing up at the wave of emotion I felt from him. Again, the man outlined in a haze in the dream, spoke, reminding me that I had the ability to see deeply into others and not to forget it.
Before leaving, I went to the bathroom on the other side of the bar. When I got to it, there was no door, only a thick, curtain that came down once inside. There was an additional white sheet on the floor for further privacy which I picked up and tossed over the other one to fill in any gaps. I turned towards where the toilet should be (I saw none, though) and heard someone behind me. When I turned around, it was Matthew Perry. He looked just like the news images of him, older with a sagging jawline. He was completely naked and smiling. He alerted me to my nakedness by saying, “Whoa! You’re beautiful!” I hadn’t been aware of my nakedness until that point and became briefly self-conscious but then didn’t care. Proud of my body, I stood facing him and said, “Stop it! I’m trying to put on my bra!”
Around this time I began to get a bit lucid, specifically because I was standing naked next to Matthew Perry and I knew he was dead. The two didn’t add up. Just as I was recognizing I was dreaming, the man in the haze replaced the entire dream in my mind’s eye. He began asking me questions, specifically about how I felt in that moment, standing there naked. I remember being reminded of other dreams where I proudly ran around naked and at one point had to have a sheet put over me and be told to be careful. Nakedness = vulnerability. I felt a familiar all-over body buzz with the memory as well as a sense of rightness; a Knowing that this was my true state.
The questions continued but I can’t recall them now. Instead, my memory is mostly in images and considerations. I felt amazingly good and requested a return to sleep. Surprisingly, I did.
Short OBE
I entered a lucid dream where I was with a young boy wearing clothing that reminded me of Peter Pan. lol We were getting placed in a giant sling shot. I was super excited. A big hand placed us in the sling shot and then it was pulled back very slowly, building the anticipation. Then the hand let us go and off we went. I was laying on my back, head faced towards the unknown, flying high over a super blue ocean below. I could see both the sky and the ocean below at the same time (360 degree vision). I saw the young boy arch downwards towards the water, but me, being heavier, continued to move in a straight line. I remember thinking, “I am dreaming and this is awesome!” I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of freedom in flight. Closing my eyes was probably the reason I came back to my body but I was still thrilled to have the experience.
I’ve had trouble sleeping for three nights in a row. Sigh. I can’t fall asleep, but eventually do, usually around midnight. Then, unfortunately, I wake around 4-4:30am and struggle to go back to sleep.
I came across an article that warning of coming solar flare activity. The image matched the dates I’ve been struggling with sleep.
Thankfully, it looks like they are calming down, so maybe I will get more than 5hrs of sleep tonight?
On the bright side, during my brief 4-5hrs of sleep last night, I had a wonderful dream.
Before I go into the dream, there is a backstory. As you may know from my previous posts, I’ve been in a kind of “pause” period with very little spiritual activity. The decline has been steady over the last 5-7 years since my Kundalini awakening in 2014-2017.
I’ve been asking for a return of the Kundalini energy, ideally the heart bliss because I’ve really missed it. Of all the amazing Kundalini energy I’ve experienced, the heart bliss is the absolute best. It makes everything….better. I feel Home. I feel completely open, vulnerable and connected to All.
Dream:Kundalini Heart Bliss Returns
I entered into a dream where I was standing in front of a large, muddy, flooded pond. I was with someone and told them, “I bet you can catch a lot of fish here.” The water was muddy, though, so I thought to myself it may not be the best fishing just yet.
We walked along the side of the large pond towards another big pond in the distance. There was a single-wide mobile home with a chain link fence on our right. The pond came right up to the fence, threatening to flood the yard and home. The female owner of the mobile home was outside and I asked if she worried her home would flood. She said, “No” and pointed to how the home was up on blocks.
A little boy came running up to the fence gate, opened it up and greeted me with a smile as if he knew me. He was around 3-4 years old with dark hair. It felt like I had brought my child to play with him but I’m not sure. I don’t remember who was with me so it could’ve been my son.
I continued to walk towards the other pond. The scene changed as I walked and the open field with the ponds quickly turned into tree covered park. Behind me I heard a commotion and a teenage boy came running past. Someone had lost their dog. I walked back to check for it and discovered another dog who was quickly joined by the missing dog. Both dogs were inside a chain linked fence. I yelled back that their dog had returned.
Turning back, I walked towards a large, VW-looking flat-front bus. Someone had fixed it up and it looked really nice, almost brand new. A man was standing near the rear of the vehicle and I went up to him and asked if it was his. He said it was and that he had fixed it up, a big, proud grin on his face. He had dark hair and a twinkle in his eyes. Something was familiar about him and, like the boy from earlier, I seemed to know him.
We walked around the bus, which had large windows all around. Parked inside I saw a very pricey, sports car. It seemed odd to me to have a car inside a bus and I asked him, “Why not put a bed there?” I sent him a visual of how it would look.
The scene shifted. We were inside the bus and the man was laying on a bed. The sports car was gone.
I stood next to him and we talked a while as if getting to know one another. He told me about graduating and going to college. Surprised at his age, I said, “You seem so young.” He replied, “Why does that (age) matter?” In that moment, my view shifted from him to myself and I could see what I looked like. I was female, darker skinned (mulatto), and older, possibly 40’s-50’s. There was an odd sense in this moment and I realized our appearances and everything around me were not what it seemed.
The man told me that his parents encouraged him to take the bus to the “red light district”. There was a long period of silence. I asked him, “Is that what you want to do?” He seemed to indicate it was not. The sense I got from him was uncertainty. He wanted to make others happy and often did things he didn’t really want to do.
Then we were closer. I was sitting on the bed next to him and could see he had a bandage on the right side of his face. His face was very clear in the dream but now I only recall it in general. He looked very similar to the Hispanic looking, dark haired man that use to visit me in the early years of my Kundalini awakening.
I can’t recall what we were talking about before, only that I felt a deep connection to the man. He seemed to be in the bed “recovering” and I greatly identified with his story. I remember trying to tell him what I was feeling but I got choked up. The words felt to stick in my threat. My heart was filling up slowly with heart bliss, bringing up a plethora of emotions and they were overtaking me. I did manage to choke out, “I don’t know…..I don’t know what is happening….to me…[long pause, intense emotion]…Can….Can I give you a hug?” He leaned toward me and we embraced. While in the embrace I began to cry – with relief, with joy, with excitement. I was Home.
I could sense the man felt the same. He pulled away slightly, just getting far enough away that our faces were inches apart. Then he kissed me. The pressure in my heart intensified, the emotion growing even more intense.
It brought back memories of “before”; of when I had the heart connection/twin flame experience. But this time it was far more gentle and flowing. There was no panic. There was no resistance; no runner/chaser dynamic. Just full acceptance. But mostly there was a flood of intense relief and a Knowing in my heart that what I was experiencing was meant to be. I thought, “This is what I’ve been waiting for…” Unfortunately, I became too lucid and though I tried desperately to hold onto the dream, I came slowly back to body awareness.
I heard my guide say matter-of-factly, “There you go.”
My heart was still swirling with bliss as I replied, “I wanna go back. Please.” From there I drifed into the in-between a few times where I heard the name “John”. It could be my guide’s name as I’ve gotten that name many times in the past.
Living Life in Between 