It’s been a while and I apologize. The holidays are not a fun time for me and I have been sick twice, once after Thanksgiving and once after Christmas. I also continue to have debilitating dry eye that causes me to limit screen time to only that which is necessary.
I could write a recap of 2023, but I don’t want to waste my time on a year that I would much rather forget altogether. I could write about what I feel lies ahead for 2024, but I prefer not to look ahead that far.
Today I am going to post a short OBE I was blessed with around 4am this morning. It is so rare that I have OBEs, lucid dreams or other experiences these days that I cherish them when they do happen now. Even if they are super short, like this one was.
Short OBE
I woke abruptly around 3:30am. After some time in a discussion with a guide (private, sorry), I asked to be allowed to fall asleep. I was asked, “Do you promise to do something about it?” I said, “Yes.” This seemed to be what was needed to release my mind and I fell asleep.
The next thing I remember is talking to someone. I don’t remember the conversation and it stopped the minute I began to focus on my surroundings. It was dark and I was outside. I walked past a church on my right. I couldn’t see it but I knew it was a church. In front of me, growing along the edge of a parking lot, were shrubs. I noticed a new one had broken through the concrete. It was almost past my knees it had grown so tall. I reached down and touched one of it’s waxy, dark green leaves. The leaf was nearly as large as my palm, cool to the touch and smooth.
Something about the feel of the plant caused me to pause. I turned to look at the church, but couldn’t see anything except the image in my mind. It was a small church with large windows. I turned back towards the shrub and decided to touch it again. This time I focused on how it felt. The cool, smooth leaf confirmed my suspicion. I thought to myself, “I’m out-of-body (OOB).”
In recognizing I was OOB, I began to sense not only my astral body but also my physical body. They were superimposed and the sensation of it was familiar. I had nearly forgotten how it felt. I could shift from one to the other with just a thought. It’s hard to describe but it’s sorta like the energetic equivalent of jumping on a trampoline, one is heavy and pulling you down while the other is light and pulls you up.
I looked up into the darkness and decided I could see. My vision turned on immediately and the scene in front of me presented itself in full color. Seeing through closed eyelids never ceases to amaze me. It was not dark outside after all. I could see the church behind me more clearly and the glossy green leaves of the plants in front of me. The church was closed and no one was around. The area reminded me a small, suburban community.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold the scene because I became too excited. It had been too long and all I wanted was to explore; to feel the freedom and lightness I knew was within reach.
I settled into my physical body smoothly and lay there a moment, hoping I would be able to return, but I did not. So, I ended up mulling over the OBE. The symbolism seemed to point to new growth amidst a situation in which no movement had been made in a long time (parking lot). The church was a reminder that a place of spiritual nourishment is within reach and has been this whole time.
Hoping I would be able to succeed again, I returned to sleep with the intent to go OOB. I did not.
Many dreams followed but I don’t have the ability to stare at this screen much longer than I already have.
Very cool dreams last night and a short OBE at the end. 🙂
Dream: Taylor Swift and Matthew Perry
The dream began at Taylor’s. I asked her if she had any time alone and/or privacy and sympathized with her for the lack of these things. It must be difficult having a private body guard and entourage all the time. She invited me to go to a bar with her and some friends. I agreed. Mostly I remember Taylor with her long, blonde hair at this time, not so much the others involved or the scene.
The entire time I was acutely aware of the age difference between myself and the rest of the group. There were approximately five of us total. There was me, Taylor, another girl and two men. One of the men had dark hair and was quite handsome in a kind of foreign or exotic way. The other one looked a whole lot like Matthew Perry.
We all sat together having a good time. I specifically avoided drinking any alcohol and was proud of myself for it. The others had plenty to drink and didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t drink. During this time I mentioned the age difference, saying that I was almost twice their age at 42. This error registered to me but I couldn’t figure out why and never correctly identified it in the dream despite my suspicions it was wrong. I also wished I were young again and thought back on my twenties and thirties contemplating how I would do things differently if I could do it again. Mostly, I missed my youthful appearance but when I mentioned this, the others reassured me that I still looked great, much younger than I claimed to be. In fact, they didn’t believe me when I told them my age.
At one point we were all at a piano. I think the exotic looking man was going to play or sing. My memory is mostly of looking down at the piano keys. Just above them, on the top of the piano, was a small, blue pill that looked similar to a sweet tart. It was wrap in such a way that I recognized it as a drug. I hesitated, wanting to eat it but reminding myself that I don’t do drugs. Eventually, I did take it but I don’t remember if I ate it. The pill itself had writing on it. I think it said MDMA (ecstasy).
It was getting late and the bar was about to close. I couldn’t believe how awake I was and mentioned to the group how I am usually in bed by 9pm. The topic of discussion went to that feeling of connection one has with their people. I casually mentioned that I felt it with the two men there. Again, age was discussed and I remember someone else being there who was not one of the group. He was a man who seemed to be in a haze or cloud within the dream. He explained to me something in images more than pictures. I saw a staircase heading up. On the steps were various people at different stages. He explained that the strongest connections would be with those who occupied the same step as I did. Eventually, though, they would leave or I would and we would no longer occupy the same step. The steps each represented spiritual progress. Spiritual maturity, varied and was not related to physical maturity/age. I remember thinking it made total sense.
Next, I recall reaching across and taking one of the men’s hands and asking him to act from his heart. His demeanor immediately changed and he got emotional, as did I. I did this with the second man also but he hardened himself, becoming noticeably stiff. I just held his hand longer, looked him in the eyes and asked him to focus on his heart. When he softened up, I smiled, tearing up at the wave of emotion I felt from him. Again, the man outlined in a haze in the dream, spoke, reminding me that I had the ability to see deeply into others and not to forget it.
Before leaving, I went to the bathroom on the other side of the bar. When I got to it, there was no door, only a thick, curtain that came down once inside. There was an additional white sheet on the floor for further privacy which I picked up and tossed over the other one to fill in any gaps. I turned towards where the toilet should be (I saw none, though) and heard someone behind me. When I turned around, it was Matthew Perry. He looked just like the news images of him, older with a sagging jawline. He was completely naked and smiling. He alerted me to my nakedness by saying, “Whoa! You’re beautiful!” I hadn’t been aware of my nakedness until that point and became briefly self-conscious but then didn’t care. Proud of my body, I stood facing him and said, “Stop it! I’m trying to put on my bra!”
Around this time I began to get a bit lucid, specifically because I was standing naked next to Matthew Perry and I knew he was dead. The two didn’t add up. Just as I was recognizing I was dreaming, the man in the haze replaced the entire dream in my mind’s eye. He began asking me questions, specifically about how I felt in that moment, standing there naked. I remember being reminded of other dreams where I proudly ran around naked and at one point had to have a sheet put over me and be told to be careful. Nakedness = vulnerability. I felt a familiar all-over body buzz with the memory as well as a sense of rightness; a Knowing that this was my true state.
The questions continued but I can’t recall them now. Instead, my memory is mostly in images and considerations. I felt amazingly good and requested a return to sleep. Surprisingly, I did.
Short OBE
I entered a lucid dream where I was with a young boy wearing clothing that reminded me of Peter Pan. lol We were getting placed in a giant sling shot. I was super excited. A big hand placed us in the sling shot and then it was pulled back very slowly, building the anticipation. Then the hand let us go and off we went. I was laying on my back, head faced towards the unknown, flying high over a super blue ocean below. I could see both the sky and the ocean below at the same time (360 degree vision). I saw the young boy arch downwards towards the water, but me, being heavier, continued to move in a straight line. I remember thinking, “I am dreaming and this is awesome!” I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of freedom in flight. Closing my eyes was probably the reason I came back to my body but I was still thrilled to have the experience.
I’ve had trouble sleeping for three nights in a row. Sigh. I can’t fall asleep, but eventually do, usually around midnight. Then, unfortunately, I wake around 4-4:30am and struggle to go back to sleep.
I came across an article that warning of coming solar flare activity. The image matched the dates I’ve been struggling with sleep.
Thankfully, it looks like they are calming down, so maybe I will get more than 5hrs of sleep tonight?
On the bright side, during my brief 4-5hrs of sleep last night, I had a wonderful dream.
Before I go into the dream, there is a backstory. As you may know from my previous posts, I’ve been in a kind of “pause” period with very little spiritual activity. The decline has been steady over the last 5-7 years since my Kundalini awakening in 2014-2017.
I’ve been asking for a return of the Kundalini energy, ideally the heart bliss because I’ve really missed it. Of all the amazing Kundalini energy I’ve experienced, the heart bliss is the absolute best. It makes everything….better. I feel Home. I feel completely open, vulnerable and connected to All.
Dream:Kundalini Heart Bliss Returns
I entered into a dream where I was standing in front of a large, muddy, flooded pond. I was with someone and told them, “I bet you can catch a lot of fish here.” The water was muddy, though, so I thought to myself it may not be the best fishing just yet.
We walked along the side of the large pond towards another big pond in the distance. There was a single-wide mobile home with a chain link fence on our right. The pond came right up to the fence, threatening to flood the yard and home. The female owner of the mobile home was outside and I asked if she worried her home would flood. She said, “No” and pointed to how the home was up on blocks.
A little boy came running up to the fence gate, opened it up and greeted me with a smile as if he knew me. He was around 3-4 years old with dark hair. It felt like I had brought my child to play with him but I’m not sure. I don’t remember who was with me so it could’ve been my son.
I continued to walk towards the other pond. The scene changed as I walked and the open field with the ponds quickly turned into tree covered park. Behind me I heard a commotion and a teenage boy came running past. Someone had lost their dog. I walked back to check for it and discovered another dog who was quickly joined by the missing dog. Both dogs were inside a chain linked fence. I yelled back that their dog had returned.
Turning back, I walked towards a large, VW-looking flat-front bus. Someone had fixed it up and it looked really nice, almost brand new. A man was standing near the rear of the vehicle and I went up to him and asked if it was his. He said it was and that he had fixed it up, a big, proud grin on his face. He had dark hair and a twinkle in his eyes. Something was familiar about him and, like the boy from earlier, I seemed to know him.
We walked around the bus, which had large windows all around. Parked inside I saw a very pricey, sports car. It seemed odd to me to have a car inside a bus and I asked him, “Why not put a bed there?” I sent him a visual of how it would look.
The scene shifted. We were inside the bus and the man was laying on a bed. The sports car was gone.
I stood next to him and we talked a while as if getting to know one another. He told me about graduating and going to college. Surprised at his age, I said, “You seem so young.” He replied, “Why does that (age) matter?” In that moment, my view shifted from him to myself and I could see what I looked like. I was female, darker skinned (mulatto), and older, possibly 40’s-50’s. There was an odd sense in this moment and I realized our appearances and everything around me were not what it seemed.
The man told me that his parents encouraged him to take the bus to the “red light district”. There was a long period of silence. I asked him, “Is that what you want to do?” He seemed to indicate it was not. The sense I got from him was uncertainty. He wanted to make others happy and often did things he didn’t really want to do.
Then we were closer. I was sitting on the bed next to him and could see he had a bandage on the right side of his face. His face was very clear in the dream but now I only recall it in general. He looked very similar to the Hispanic looking, dark haired man that use to visit me in the early years of my Kundalini awakening.
I can’t recall what we were talking about before, only that I felt a deep connection to the man. He seemed to be in the bed “recovering” and I greatly identified with his story. I remember trying to tell him what I was feeling but I got choked up. The words felt to stick in my threat. My heart was filling up slowly with heart bliss, bringing up a plethora of emotions and they were overtaking me. I did manage to choke out, “I don’t know…..I don’t know what is happening….to me…[long pause, intense emotion]…Can….Can I give you a hug?” He leaned toward me and we embraced. While in the embrace I began to cry – with relief, with joy, with excitement. I was Home.
I could sense the man felt the same. He pulled away slightly, just getting far enough away that our faces were inches apart. Then he kissed me. The pressure in my heart intensified, the emotion growing even more intense.
It brought back memories of “before”; of when I had the heart connection/twin flame experience. But this time it was far more gentle and flowing. There was no panic. There was no resistance; no runner/chaser dynamic. Just full acceptance. But mostly there was a flood of intense relief and a Knowing in my heart that what I was experiencing was meant to be. I thought, “This is what I’ve been waiting for…” Unfortunately, I became too lucid and though I tried desperately to hold onto the dream, I came slowly back to body awareness.
I heard my guide say matter-of-factly, “There you go.”
My heart was still swirling with bliss as I replied, “I wanna go back. Please.” From there I drifed into the in-between a few times where I heard the name “John”. It could be my guide’s name as I’ve gotten that name many times in the past.
I’m still considering a return to Costa Rica. Yesterday, I spoke with my SIL about it and she is happy to host me for as long as I need. She also has more cabanas available to choose from. One is located right on the beach! When I imagined returning to Costa Rica, I saw myself in a cabana on the beach, so I must have manifested it. 🙂 Her horse ranch is just across the road from the cabana, so I would still be close to her and the horses.
I still haven’t bought a ticket and made my trip official. I have some things to sort out first. If I do go, it looks like it will be around the first week in June.
Last night I was blessed with lucidity again. 🙂
Lucid K Dream: Teach Me?
I was at a school inside a brightly lit classroom. I wasn’t a teacher but seemed to be observing what was going on. It was either between classes or before or after school because there weren’t many students present and there was no formal teaching happening. Instead, the few inside were cleaning up and chatting.
Exiting the classroom, I stood outside looking at student artwork on the walls. A particular piece caught my eye. It was just stick people and lines; very rudimentary. Yet, as I looked at it, a dot began to travel on its own around the paper. Curious, I looked closer, not believing my eyes. I inspected the piece, checking for abnormalities, but couldn’t find any.
A teacher passing by saw my interest. I told him it moved. He showed me how groves had been made in the cardboard backing to make it seem like it was moving on its own. He also laughed and said it was a particular student who liked playing pranks on people. This was just one example of how the student fooled around.
Still, though, I was suspicious. I thought for sure the school was haunted.
I went home and climbed into my bed, pulling my covers securely around me. This is where I began to gain lucidity in the dream. Secure in my comfy bed, my thoughts were on the artwork, the boy and what I had just encountered at the school.
To my surprise, I felt an hand softly touch me on the back and then an entire arm tucked itself under me. Someone was attempting to spoon with me. In that moment I knew: 1. I was in my bedroom, in my bed and 2. no one was in the bed with me, and 3. I must be dreaming.
Not afraid at all, I turned to see who it was that had climbed into bed with me, thinking, “I want to know who’s there”. I was aware that my usual response to such things it to just lay still and see what, if anything happens. I didn’t want to do the “same ol’ thing”. To my surprise, a very bright-faced, white-blonde haired, young man sat up as I turned to confront him. He had a big smile on his face and his eyes were twinkling. I didn’t recognize him but figured he must be the student whose artwork had caught my attention earlier.
He communicated with me but all I recall are pictures and understanding. A visual of three images, side-by-side, came to my mind. It was somewhat similar to a slot machine in the way it was presented. I can’t recall the pictures but one represented the connecting/communicating via the internet and another was physical connection/communication. I can’t remember the third at all. Maybe spiritual communication? I was to select one. I picked the one on the far right.
It was also communicated that this young man wanted me to teach him the ropes of sexual communication. Since he appeared far too young, which felt inappropriate, I asked him, “Make yourself 18 or older.” lol I can’t remember if he did or not. He then prepared himself, leaning down, his face aimed at my crotch. I laughed and told him, “Not like that.” He asked, “No?” as if he thought sex was done via the mouth. I pointed to his crotch, still amused.
I then showed him how it was done and climbed onto his lap. All I recall from that point on is my chakras lighting up one after the other. When my third chakra lit up I felt the familiar energy of returning to my physical body. The energy lingered in my third chakra for some time after.
I had an unexpected Kundalini dream. What is crazy about it is that it coincided with a thunderstorm.
Prior to falling asleep it was so quiet it was unsettling. I turned on some white noise to help me fall asleep. It was “the quiet before the storm” – literally.
Dream – Acceptance
This dream was very complex in that there were multiple layers to it. What I mean by this is that several dreams occurred simultaneously creating a layered effect. Typically I only experience two layers – one where I am in a discussion with a guide/assistant and another the visuals that accompany it creating the main dream experience. Because of the many layers, my recall is limited and so I will focus on the part I recall most vividly.
I am in my bedroom. A friend is visiting. He is not suppose to be there. I feel like a teenager who snuck my boyfriend in. We are kneeling side-by-side on the floor with our forearms resting on the bed. We are talking and laughing and generally very physically close. There is a great sense of comfort and ease I’ve rarely felt in this life.
At one point he gets up and walks across the room. I realize quickly it is because my mom has called out to me and he is checking the door. I observe his appearance and notice he resembles someone I once dated. Yet he is most definitely not that person. The real face of my friend shifts into the face of my ex over and over as if to get my attention. I realize I don’t care what he looks like. What matters is his soul; his energy. The moment I have this realization is very prominent in the dream.
My friend takes me to the door and opens it. He invites me to go inside. When I approach the door, it changes into to a metal door, that opens into a vault. I step inside and find myself in a golden hued room. On the ground at my feet are hundreds of unopened letters from my friend.
Vaguely, I recall discussing a gift he once gave me. He asked me if I had forgotten about it. He turns towards a table. Sitting on top of it is a small box that looks like it might contain jewelry. He opens the box and dumps the contents into his hand. He extends his closed hand towards me and opens it. I see three small, sparkly hearts in the palm of his hand. They are chocolates coated in “diamond” sugar. His gift is priceless. I remember feeling pleased and grateful for the gift. I had forgotten about it.
There is physical interference at this point. The thunder from the storm briefly pulls me out of my dream but doesn’t wake me. I can sense the lightening flashing and feel the rumble of the thunder throughout the rest of the dream.
Then we are sitting close together, intertwined, our shoulders touching. We are facing one another. His chin is tucked up against my shoulder. I gently slide my finger up his spine from his shoulder blades to the nape of his neck. When I do this, I feel what he feels. He enjoys the sensation, as do I, but when he looks at me I feel a spark of desire. In that moment, I see a flash of lightning and am overcome with ecstasy. The feeling shoots through me and I melt, completely incapacitated by it. I remember thinking, “This will surely kill me.” I swear I hear a reply: “No.” I wake up. The lightning is still flashing and I hear thunder rumbling all around me.
I relish the lingering ecstasy. It has been so long! I say, “thank you”.
I fall back into the in-between. The “dream” continues but feels present in physicality. I can feel my friend close, just like in the dream. Our foreheads are touching and he begins to whisper to me as his lips lightly brush mine. He says one word at a time. I only remember a few: slow, gentle, patient. With each word I am overcome with the same ecstasy as before, only it is centered in my core rather than rising up from my root. It spreads outward and I melt into it.
I want to open fully to the energy but am distracted. It is so HUGE. I feel certain it will kill me. I hear that it most definitely will not. I am told what I am feeling is ME.
Eventually, I ask to return to sleep because I can’t sleep. The energy is too distracting. Thankfully, my request is granted.
The Lightning Strike played yesterday. I barely noticed it, but when I did, I remember thinking, “Hmmm, interesting.”
I asked to be shown in my dreams how to resolve my current life issues.
Dreams
Lots and lots of dreams. The answer to my question was answered.
Avoidance
This dream is difficult to recall in full because it was one of the first of the night. What I remember most vividly is trying to avoid running into a certain man who seemed to be following me. The avoidance came in the form of hiding, sneaking around and even running. I was conversing with someone, probably a guide, throughout. Again, no memory of what was discussed, just a sense that it was about the situation playing out in the dream.
I woke from the dream knowing instantly who it was I was running from and having vivid recall of what he looked like in the dream.
Not My Dream
I was with a man in a white sedan. He was short, with light brown hair, deep seated smile lines and a eyes that had a sparkle to them. I liked him and trusted him. We were both in the front seat of a the car with the seats fully reclined. I was in the driver’s seat. The car wasn’t driving but flying very quickly. I could see the scenery blurring by, the colors mixing to create a spectacular visual that reminded me of time travel or interdimensional travel.
I turned to the man and asked, “So this is how you do it?” “It” here meant going with the flow, letting life take the lead and letting go of control. He laughed and confirmed. I knew, at this point, I was dreaming but it wasn’t my dream, it was his. Perhaps this is why I didn’t become lucid?
I pulled up and away, discarding the perspective from inside the car, and saw us both from above. We were laying down in the car. The car was driving itself across a vast blue that reminded me of an ocean, but it was some kind of bridge, or at least that is how I perceived it. I could see the colors swirling around our tiny bodies in the car.
Shifting my perspective back “down”, I experienced a strange sense of becoming very small. It was almost disorienting but it didn’t bother me. I asked the man, “Are we little now?” I don’t remember his response but I think he confirmed with a laugh.
Eventually we stopped moving, but the vivid colors still swirled around us. It was as if we were both inside a tube of some kind. The man was laying beside me, just like he had been in the car. A blue “blanket” of color rested over the top of us. The man began to shift his position from beside me to on top of me. I saw his face clearly in this moment but I didn’t recognize him as anyone I’d seen before. A rush of energy hit my heart and core. It was magnificent and I sighed with relief, fully ready for what would come next. Unfortunately, I woke up.
Another Life
I was a mother. The connection I had with my son was beyond beautiful. It was a familiar connection – a heart connection. The dream began with me seeing my son at around the age of 18. My heart overflowed with love.
When I looked at him, I recalled my life with him. The memories came all at once, mostly intensely powerful feelings, feelings a mother should not have for her son. So, it is no surprise that I struggled internally, wanting to be more than a mother to him. Yet, the feeling was not sexual, but rather a deep desire to be as close to him as possible. The magnetic quality made it very difficult to resist hovering and I became extremely possessive of him and my time with him. It wasn’t a jealous possessiveness but more a protectiveness.
My son was in the process of saying goodbye. He was leaving home for college. The pain I felt is indescribable. It was like my heart was being ripped out. I didn’t want him to leave. Even as he looked at me with eyes full of love and understanding, my heart was hurting. There are no words to describe the pain. I wanted nothing more than for him to stay with me – forever. I knew he wouldn’t because what I wanted, what we both wanted, was not allowed. A mother and a son cannot be together like that.
I began to cry and my son looked at me, his eyes full of compassion and love. He said, “You don’t have to cry.” I replied, “I don’t want you to leave.” The split feeling I experienced was excruciating.
Message: Finish What You Started
I woke, tears in my eyes, my heart filled with a familiar pain mixed with a powerful love. I had complete understanding of what had just happened. What I was seeing was another life. I don’t think it was a past life, but a future one. What the me in that life had to go through was torture. The heart connection is beyond powerful. It was difficult enough for me to experience it in this life, but to spend 18 very close years as mother and son, and then the rest of my life, with a heart connection, wanting a relationship that could never be, THAT is beyond torture. OMG, how cruel!
I didn’t see beyond that point in time. My guess is the torture would lead me to killing myself. That is what happened in other lifetimes I’ve recalled with my heart connection. I couldn’t take it. It was just too much.
My son in that life was less conflicted than me. He understood that love like ours was special and he didn’t grieve like I did. He knew that no matter where we were, how far apart or how long we were separated, that our love would remain. Yet he still felt pain at our situation. Not only did he feel his pain, but mine, too.
To think that after this lifetime, which has been challenging enough, I have plans to further challenge myself in such a way, is beyond crazy. It definitely puts things in perspective. At least in this life I’m not plagued with guilt about incestual relations! lol
The feelings from the above dream remained for some time. It became clear that part of the message “turn around” has to do with revisiting the heart connection experience. The lessons related to that connection from this lifetime will impact the next. I can’t escape it.
To return to that lesson, to open up my heart and feel the total decimation again, well that would take tons of courage. I’m not sure I have that kind of courage. Yet, if I am able to overcome and move through the pain, what lies beyond feels magnificent. I think, though, it means making some difficult choices.
Can I go with the flow like in the second dream? Or will I keep running, avoiding the pain like in the first dream? One thing is clear, when I woke this morning I was relieved. Relieved because, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel numb inside. Feeling my heart blast open, even though muted, made me feel alive. I would rather feel alive, even if it is riddled with pain, than dead. I am tired of feeling dead.
It has been a while but I finally had some vivid, memorable and informative dreams.
Dream: Laughing Over the Hill
The dream is fuzzy but I remember walking along a long, paved road in the country towards a town in the distance. The road (life path) had no lines on it and it was very straight with only a slight rise in slope as it progressed towards the town. I couldn’t see the town, though, all I saw was a glimmer of sunlight in the distance like a sunrise or sunset.
I walked off the road at some point and walked along a path that had handrails along it. I began to run and ran through some trees to where there was an very steep drop to a vast green field. I ran into the field, arms wide, feeling freedom and relief. The grass was a pale green and tall, up to my knees. It was a soft, pastel green, that soothed my soul (healing).
I was about halfway into the field when I stopped, looked up at the complex and lost my breath. It was so massive that it intimidated me. It looked alien and somewhat military, but I didn’t know what it was. The combination of the massive structure and vast, endless sky overwhelmed me. There was a fleeting thought that someone would soon become aware of my presence and I didn’t want to find out what they might do about it. Feeling quite exposed, I turned back towards the tree line. When I got there, I lay down in the green grass, arms and legs splayed, waiting for the sun to rise.
With the trees just behind me, I waited there, and saw a glimmer of orange in the sky indicating the sun was soon to rise. A song was in my head and I sang aloud, feeling happy and relaxed. The sun rose in front of my eyes and the murky twilight was chased away by its rays.
A man’s voice broke the silence and I sat up, still humming the song. I don’t remember seeing him, just hearing him. He was asking me a question, but I can’t remember it now. I got up, sensing he was a groundskeeper or caretaker of the property, and walked up to the tree line.
From there the dream shifts and I am talking with a woman about the complex. I don’t know if it is the massive one I saw or another one. It felt like a museum but also a place of learning. I walked along the railed paths and saw children. Was it a school? I remember discussing this. I recall thinking of my children and smiling to myself. It is such a great joy to watch them learn and grow.
The topic of the song I had been singing came up. It is hard to recall now but I remember singing it and it had “fa la la”. When I woke up this morning I had an old song on my mind from my childhood.
“Laughing singing, laughing singing, come the children over the hill. Fa la, la la la, la la la la, Ha, Ha, Ha, laughing over the hill.”
Dream: College Discussion
I was with a young man inside a space like a room. We were discussing completing degrees and he was doing his online. I remember happily asking him questions and he informed me that he was taking his classes from a school in Indiana while he was residing in another state. He was where I was so in the dream I assumed he resided in the same state as me. I told him that, unlike him, I went to the state where my college was located and completed my degree there. This was the entire dream and it seemed like I was communicating that there are two ways to learn – from a distance or in-person. I had selected in-person. This disccussion was a reminder that I chose to come to Earth to do “hands-on” learning.
Dream Message: Crumble Down
This dream was nearly lucid.
First, there was a dream prior to the most lucid part. In it I was inside a house looking out massive floor-to-ceiling windows. It was clear that I was high up. I had a phone in my hand and was trying to take pictures and video (seeking to recall info) but when I turned on the camera and pointed the phone at what I wanted to record the screen showed something very different from what I was looking at. Instead I saw the inside of a house, but not the house or apartment I was in. I turned to check and sure enough it was not accurate to where I was located.
I fiddled with the phone and opted to just look through the camera into this other place. I saw the back of someone’s head. The hair was blonde and cut short and they felt to be a young man, maybe a teenager. I looked around via the camera and saw a modern kitchen with straight lines and white cabinets and counter tops. I walked up to where the counter was and moved something to use as a test, a package of food like bread I think. I tried to take a photo and couldn’t, even when I flipped the camera around.
Then the young man I had seen in the screen was next to me and we began to interact. We walked along a covered path that ran along vast fields of various crops. There was wheat and another, fat leafed crop I didn’t recognized. I remember planting seeds (creation) in the areas where the crops had not flourished and coming back around to check on them after some time had passed. They hadn’t grown as much as I had liked and I touched the soil. One section was moist but not the other. The areas also didn’t get as much sun as they should. I concluded the seeds were not getting enough of what they needed to grow (lack of energy, growth).
Then we were back inside. The blonde man was with me but so were some younger children. The topic of accidentally seeing a sibling naked (vulnerable, open) came up. With the discussion came visuals and memories of me trying to hide my nakedness. I remember saying that at some point I just stopped caring if anyone saw me naked. There was a feeling with saying this, like relief and utter lack of concern, that seemed to opened me up to the shift that came next.
I was laying prone (face down) on a table, completely naked. I could feel a pleasant massaging of my back. It was slow and sensual and every touch relaxed me more. It was warm but the touch was not like normal touch. Instead it was energetic, as if each touch was opening up a new part of my energy body, allowing the energy to flow fully into places that once had restricted flow. I could feel the energy, but only slightly, as if it was muted.
While laying there I got flashes of the person providing me with this massage. I cannot recall his features now but he was not familiar to me. He had large, brown eyes and was quite thin. I want to say his skin was darker than mine, but it is hard to say.
We were talking and I called him by name: John. What he told me I repeated aloud to myself. When I repeated his words there was a visual. I could see myself as if I was watching from over the top of my prone body. I could see that I was completely naked and I could see walls all around me. The walls were silvery and translucent and were not very high, only about a foot higher than my body. With the words I spoke I saw all the walls crumble down, outlining my body in a silvery dust. The words are lost to me, unfortunately, but there were three sentences. The feeling upon waking was that something would happen that would make it impossible for me to keep those walls in place. When they fell, they would all crumble at the same time.
When I saw/said this, I shifted my awareness back to the me laying on the table. I had a strong urge to turn around and look at the man helping me. The urge made me want to give back to him what he was giving me. The sense of the energy was familiar and magnetic but also very gentle and loving. My entire body felt alive with this energy. Had I felt it fully it most definitely would’ve woken me.
As it was, the energy was strong enough that my lucidity peaked and I lingered in the in-between for a bit. The man’s voice was with me in the in-between and I called him John again. He explained that all it would take was one “touch” and my walls would fall. With his words there was a sense that I have had before. When it happens I energetically open up, completely vulnerable and all defenses vanish. I’ve experienced this before. It is the most beautiful thing. There are no words to describe it.
Considerations
The above dreams together seem to indicate several things. One, I desire freedom but something is holding me back; I am afraid. Two, my path of learning is a hands-on, in-person one. Three, I am being asked to change my focus (the camera dream). Four, I am being warned that at some point in the future I will encounter someone or something that will break through my defenses.
When I woke I lingered in bed feeling really groggy. I had a visual of myself once again. In it, I was laying in a fetal position and thought to myself, “I’m in a cocoon.” The walls from the dream are my protection. My Knowing tells me I’ve been in this state for some time and that it is purposeful. There is nothing wrong with it. I will emerge at exactly the right time.
In the middle of reading a book I heard, very clearly, “It will be over soon.” No connection remained after so there was no reply when I asked, “What will?”
My best guess is the message was referring to my sciatica pain, which despite feeling 80% better, returns in the evenings down the back of my left thigh. If not that, then who knows? There are many things that could end. Everything changes all the time. Endings are part of the cycle of life.
Not long after the message I read a paragraph in my book that caught my attention. It was a description of telepathy and how, once you’ve experienced it, the sound of words is almost painful as is the waiting patiently for the words to complete.
From “Thrive” by Kenneth Oppel
The book is not one I would normally read. It is on the middle school reading list and my oldest son chose it to do his summer reading project. After reading the first book in the trilogy, he told me he wanted to read the other two. Intrigued because he usually hates reading, I decided to read the books, too. They are quite enjoyable and I feel no shame in reading a book written for youth. I’ve read many such books in my 13+ years of teaching – The Giver, the Twilight Trilogy, the Shadow and BoneTrilogy and The Hunger Games, etc. All great books, BTW.
My dreams continue to be memorable and varied.
Dream: Dark Spirit
I was with someone walking along a residential street. We came upon a house that had a glass wall in the front yard perpendicular to the sidewalk. Beyond the wall was an empty pool with a slide angling down below the foundation of the house.
We met the owner who said she was in the process of repairing the pool. I recall either going into the pool or watching someone do so. I followed the slide down into the house where it ended in the living area. The entire house had slides between rooms, most not water slides. This concept delighted me. How wonderful to slide your way from room to room.
Sitting in the living area with the woman and some others, the subject of mediumship was brought up. It felt like I was being asked to do a reading for the woman. So, I gave her the info of the woman in Spirit who was with her. I can’t recall the info now but it was very specific. The woman was pleased and indicated it was the individual she was seeking.
From this point the dream gets energetically darker. The woman in Spirit began to act strangely and became quite forceful with her telepathic communication with me. It escalated quickly despite my asking Spirit to back down. The others in the room began to look fearful because they also noticed the shift. It became clear to me that this Spirit was not who she claimed.
I put protection around myself while ordering the Spirit to leave. This woke me up and I put protection around myself as I lay in bed, just in case. Mediumship has been coming up in my dreams quite a bit lately and one woman in Spirit had been quite persistent.
No Good or Bad, Just Experience
It occurred to me that perhaps there had been Spirit interfering with my life, purposefully trying to shake the boat in whatever way they could. How many messages, dreams, and experiences have been the result of such encounters? And then I considered perhaps some in Spirit were actually assigned with the task of shaking things up, pranking those in human bodies to purposefully make this experience more challenging. It was/is very likely this is the case.
Considering there is really no “good or bad”, just experience, and what I have been told in the past, it is very possible that our “guides” are being “naughty” in exactly the way we have requested. This life experience is just a theatrical performance; a game with assigned roles, setting, storyline and plot. I have been told on many occasions, especially when feeling overwhelmed by guilt for being “bad”, that helping others does not always mean playing the role of the “good guy”. It can also be doing something otherwise considered “bad” at the request of the other. These “bad” experiences help them learn and evolve and, in this way, we are helping them and fulfilling a “contract”.
Rather than be upset that I have most likely been on the receiving end of many such pranks, I just sighed and returned to sleep. What can I do about it except smile and see the humor in it all? It does me no good to be overly serious.
After months (years?) of boring, routine sameness, yesterday was a bit traumatic, at least in the morning.
On my morning walk I went past a car parked on the main road. There was a young man inside sleeping. I almost said something to him because it is illegal in this town but went on my way. On my walk back around to the same location he had a friend with him and they were going at it in the front seat for all to see. They did have a blanket over them but the car’s windows were not tinted. It was disturbing, especially since they were parked across from a park. Again I kept going, shocked and horrified and not knowing what exactly to do. I eventually circled back around (still on my walk), and they were going at it. So, I took a quick video to document what I was seeing, and went home.
I was inside a while contemplating what to do and decided if I went outside and they were still there I would take a photo of the license plate and confront them. They were still there. So, I took a photo of the car’s plate and walked up to the window. This is when I got an eye full. The man was sitting in the passenger’s seat completely exposed. OMG. I had already knocked on the window by that time. The man quickly covered himself. The woman rolled down the window and I asked her to leave, told her what they were doing was illegal and that I had a video and photo of their license plate. She got angry, demanded I give her my photo/video and phone number and told me she could have sex in her car because it was her car, etc. Every time I tried to walk away she would try to keep me at her vehicle with an argument in her favor but I stood my ground and headed home, telling her I would call authorities if she didn’t leave. She told me she would follow me home to get my phone from me (eek!). I walked the opposite way of my home so she wouldn’t learn my address. Eventually, they sped by me and out of the neighborhood. I went home and called the police.
The police came and took my statement about 15 minutes later. The officer was very nice and thanked me for getting the vehicle make/model and tag number. He said he looked it up and it is registered to a woman who they know well. She lives on the other side of town (she told me she was from my neighborhood) and is often seen with the man I saw her with. I described them and he confirmed they were the people associated with the vehicle. He reassured me that I was not in any danger of her coming back. He said she would likely never come back to the neighborhood after being seen, confronted and documented. He told me that next time I need to just call the police straight away and gave me his card. He asked me to email him the photo and video of the incident.
I did feel much better after that but had a short cry, relieved it was over. I suck at confrontation and it took everything in me to walk up to that car and ask them to leave. I had thought of all the ways it could turn out, worried the confrontation could go wrong, and it did, but it could’ve gone far worse. She could’ve jumped out of the car and assaulted me to get my phone. She could have driven around slowly behind me, stalking me in her car to intimidate me. She did none of these things, probably because she knew I had her info and assumed I had already called the cops (I called my husband as I walked away so for all she knew I was reporting the incident to authorities).
Of course, I went over all the alternate ways I could’ve handled the situation after the fact. It would’ve been far wiser to tell her that I overheard that someone had called the police on her and she needed to leave. I could’ve acted like I was genuinely concerned. However, seeing him exposed like that caught me off-guard and I am not one who can hide my feelings easily. I’m sure disgust and shock was written all over my face. lol
What is funny is that my sciatica pain was nonexistent after the incident. It remained so for a while. Later in the evening I was able to do downward dog and fully extend my left leg without any pain. This confirms that my pain is related to root chakra issues, something I’ve suspected all along. Of course I have pain again this morning but it was still so very nice to be pain-free if even for a moment!
I reported the incident to my HOA Board. The response was that the community was considering starting a neighborhood watch because another resident had been harassed by a homeless person recently and filed a police report. It is probably a good idea. Because of the location of our neighborhood, we get lots of migrants (homeless, hitchhikers, etc) coming through as well as petty theft incidents (ransacking unlocked cars mostly). We’ve had a lot of new people moving in, also. Unfortunately, most are young couples and families who seem completely uninterested in any kind of in-person community involvement or cooperation. They would rather post comments online, send emails and complain from behind a screen in the safety of their homes hoping someone else will fix the problem.
Unfortunately, the visuals I have of the incident stayed with me until bedtime. I couldn’t get certain images out of my mind. It’s not like I haven’t seen any of it before, so not sure why I keep getting flashes of it. It was like a vivid dream I was trying to remember, except I didn’t really want to remember it! So before bed I asked that the thoughts be taken away, and they did go away and did not infiltrate my dreams.
I will be carrying my pepper spray with me on my morning walks from now on. It is sad, but I feel better knowing I have at least some line of defense should this woman or some other person decide to harass me. I usually carry it with me to protect my dog anyway, ever since he was attacked by an off-leash dog (another traumatic event), but now I will carry on walks without my dog.
Not long ago I communicated my desire to relocate to my husband and was even searching for a home to purchase a bit further from this metropolitan area. My husband was/is against it, wanting to stay close to his business (we are 6 miles away) and all the conveniences that come with city living. Me, being the hermit that I am, dislike highly populated areas in general, but I have been fine with living here the past 8 years. However, lately, going shopping at all the places I’ve always shopped is unpleasant for me. The places have double the shoppers they use to, even at off-peak hours, and the energy of the places have shifted substantially. The energy is just more frantic and anxious. I just want to get in and out as fast as I can. During my shopping I sometimes have thoughts like, “I hate people”. Mostly I will sing funny songs to myself to distract from the reality of the misery of the experience. Rarely do I run into someone who is not sleepwalking through life. Their empty eyes tell all.
The last time I felt like this I moved to Montana. LOL
I want to live somewhere with lots of space around me – natural beauty in my backyard. I prefer a space with a pond or lake nearby. Ideally I own my own pond that I don’t have to share with anyone, but if not then at least where I encounter few to no people. Water seems to be a huge draw for me, but not the ocean. There should be a small town/city nearby, like 5-10 miles away, so if I crave company I can easily access it, somewhere with a population less than 50K.
As for location specifically, I am fine with staying in Texas. My family is here and it is comfortable for me. But the extreme heat in the summer can get to be too much. While I love the mountains, I absolutely do not want to live somewhere that has consistent snowfall in the winter. A little here and there (like once or twice a season) is about all I can take. Also, I do not like desert landscapes. The area has to have green vegetation.
So far I am not drawn to any one place over another, which is why I just stay put. Eventually, though, this area will be too repellant for me to stay. This I know.
Update: On my morning walk today the couple was back but parked in another location. This time all I saw was the young man sit up quickly and cover himself with a blanket. I did not see the woman and can only assume she was laying down. When I turned the corner I called the police and they arrived within 15 minutes. I do not know if the police caught them, only that two police cars arrived. My son said he saw a white police car following a silver car and the police car I saw was black. Fingers crossed that the police caught up with them and at least gave them a warning.
Had a dream that lasted most of the night and woke me around 4:30am.
Normally I would categorize the dream as a Kundalini dream, but the K was extremely muted. I think it was purposefully muted in order to keep me from gaining lucidity.
Unfortunately, I’ve lost memory of most of the specifics now. I was too lazy to get up and jot down the dream at 4:30am, so it is what it is.
Dream: You’ll Get Use to It
The dream felt to be a counseling session of some kind. Every once in a while I was aware of a female guide and counselor asking me questions that would then lead into answers that became the dream scene. Occasionally there was a male guide, who resembled my heart connection. I’ve previously referred to him as the “dark haired man”.
I was asked to remember what occurred during my heart connection – how it felt, the sequence of events, etc. So I told the story and shifted into a dream scene where I was with a dark haired man who very much resembled my heart connection. Throughout telling the story I re-experienced the bliss and connection thoroughly.
Sometimes during my story-telling I would feel to shift back to the scene where I was being counseled. I would see my guide, the one who looked like my heart connection. I Knew I had seen him recently in dreamtime. I told him, “I just saw you not long ago.” Memory of the dream fluttered into my consciousness and then departed. The moment felt important somehow.
One very memorable part of the dream was when the dark haired man and I were standing face-to-face, so close that I could feel his breath on my face. Our bodies didn’t touch. We were just standing very close, as if testing how close we could stand without touching. The heart bliss was overpowering to the point that I lost my breath. I remember thinking how beautiful it was, how much I missed it and how I wished I could feel it forever. In contrast, I was also afraid of it because I wanted only one thing: to completely surrender to it. I said to him, “I don’t think I can handle this.” He said, “You’ll get use to it.”
I distinctly remember one moment when I was telling the dark haired man about a part of the story that doesn’t line up with what I personally know to have happened. I said, “This is the difficult part of the story, the part where they have to be apart.” When telling this part, I saw and experienced the heartache and depression of the separation and instead of seeing myself, saw another woman from a distance, as if mixing up the current lifetime with another. I was also able to connect to the emotions and experiences of my heart connection, experiencing them from his perspective.
During this time apart I was acutely aware of the absence of the heart bliss. I mourned it and said to the male guide, “I can’t feel it anymore. It is gone forever.” The answer I got was that, no, it was not gone, it was overshadowed by fear. This information rang true to me. I recognized that fear was love’s nemesis and momentarily was relieved to know the solution was to abandon my fear and embrace love.
The story continued and the two reunited, their time apart over and a new chapter begun. The dream is hazy here, I think because the rest of the story has yet to be told.
No longer with my two guides, I lingered near a wooden picnic table looking out onto a meadow. There were others with me I didn’t know. I remember distinctly the man sitting on top of the table (not on the bench). He was amused by me and had a hint of playfulness in his eyes. I sat down next to him and he leaned close to me and whispered, “You are still young.” He looked me up and down, causing me to also look at myself. I saw my body, still youthful and beautiful. He said, “You should use what time you have to enjoy your body.”
I didn’t react to his words at all but stood up and looked out at the meadow. Another man approached, my male guide I think. In the dream my consciousness felt far away in the distance so I don’t know what led to what came next. I can’t remember who said this but I also saw it in my mind. The words were, “Dance like a chicken (unexpected change) and lay an egg (creation)” and then I saw someone doing the chicken dance but no egg. I told my guide what the other man said and told him, “I can’t do that [lay an egg]”.
I woke up filled with memory of the heart bliss.
Considerations
IDK if my heart connection was actually present in the dream. What it seemed like is that I was being warned of future heart bliss in order to be prepared. In fact, when I awoke, I Knew there would be more heart bliss. My stomach did a little flip flop at the thought of it.
The years 2014-2015 come to mind. How, in 2014, the K dreams first began to shake up my world. I knew the dreams meant major change was coming but was unwilling to really confront that change. I feared it would mean the end of my marriage. Another was both attracted to and terrified by the power of the Kundalini, especially the part that seemed to compel me to surrender to it, but slowly I began to surrender little by little and the K progressed, leading me to my heart connection experience in December, 2015.
It think something similar is occurring now. A warning of an upcoming decision.
The magnificence of the heart bliss is impossible to resist. It feels like coming Home. The bliss of the lower chakras, in contrast, is highly erotic and sexual. Sure, it is spectacular and hard to resist, but it doesn’t compare to the heart bliss. Nothing does.
I still have no idea how anyone could “get use to” the heart bliss.
