Category Archives: Healing

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Giving Up the Reins

I had a profound dream last night. It was one of many dreams. I feel I was on the brink of lucidity most of the evening.

Giving Up the Reins

I was at a gathering that was similar to a stock yard show or rodeo in its look and feel. I was standing near an arena that had a high, metal fence, watching people get onto their horses only to either be thrown off or successfully “tame” them. It appeared that the rider would cause their horse to go out of control purposefully. The goal was to regain control with both horse and rider safe, sound, calm and controlled.

I was aware that I was to be in this competition, too. I was standing next to this bay mare. She was spectacular and stood taller than me. She would nuzzle me occasionally and I would reach up and pet her, stroking her dark mane. I was very comfortable with her, which is unlike me both in reality and in most of my dreams. I am typically nervous around large horses.

I felt ill prepared for this competition and was discussing it with someone who I did not see but who seemed to change from male to female and then back again. We were discussing how I felt about going into the ring. I remember saying, “This is my first time. I don’t know if I can do it”. We discussed my options, one of which was to let someone else take my place.

At one point the decision became heart wrenching for some reason. I was particularly fond of my horse and did not want someone else handling her, much less taking her into the ring where she, too, had never been. It was at this point that I saw who would be taking over. She was a champion and had already successfully won several competitions. She was set to win this one, too, and had just completed her turn with top scores. She was tall, slender, and had long, flowing blonde hair. Her blue eyes sparkled and she appeared to know me and sympathize with my situation.

Emotion welled up from deep within me as I made my decision. I handed her the reins and said, “Ok. You can take over”. My whole body shook with grief at this decision as the blonde gracefully accepted the reins and prepared to mount my horse. There was a dark haired, shorter woman, standing beside the blonde who seemed disappointed. She said, “I guess I won’t be placing today”. I realized she had been set to win second place but now that the blonde was going to compete in my place, this other woman would be third.

Reflection

I awoke from this dream crying and knowing a decision had been made. I immediately recognized the horse to be me, my body and Ego, in this physical incarnation. I saw myself in this dream as the me I have always been in this life – a mixture of nature versus nurture to put it simply. It appeared to me that the goal here was to get “horse”- my Ego and body – under control in a way that I had not yet done. I was nervous, which is to be expected, and did not feel I could do it being it would be my first time. I was consulting with my guides and my Higher Self. I recognized, upon waking, that I had agreed to let my Higher Self take over. I am not sure why this was such a difficult decision. Perhaps I feel like a failure not being able to do this on my own? Or perhaps it is my affinity to my human form?

This could be my Ego reacting to this decision, but this decision feels very final. I was asked upon waking, “Are you okay with this decision?” and I immediately answered, “Yes”. The images and thoughts in my mind at this time were of me leaving behind this life and all its connections and experiences to return to the peace and rejuvenation of the Other Side. I was completely, 100%, ready to do so. I heard in response, “We will help you. It will be easy”.

I am completely calm this morning. Though I have not yet completely computed the experience in my mind, my heart knows this was a turning point.

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The Dr. Returns

Last night was an eventful night. No, I didn’t project nor was I even lucid, but I had a sequence of dreams, all connected, that culminated in one nearly lucid dream in which I again met up with the Dr. (from previous blog posts).

Military

The first dream in the sequence was focused around the return of a military mission. I was inside a dorm room and waiting for a man to return. He was not my husband but someone I knew. I recall helping organize some things – photographs, keepsakes, etc – while waiting.

Infected

The dream then shifts from a military feeling to a medical facility feeling. I was of two Me’s – the me observing the dream and the me as a character in the dream. My character persona was wearing an all white hospital gown and there was a long conversation going on between the observer me and another individual, a woman.

The character me is standing in the middle of a bright white room as we are talking. This is when it got weird. A tiny, illuminated, blue square of energy shot out of nowhere and made contact with the dream character me. This blue cube was three-dimensional and about one inch all around.

Once the cube inserted itself inside the character me, the observer me knew this meant a physical change would occur. She (I) recognized the change to mean that having children was no longer possible and there would be a gradual deterioration of health.

Phil

There is a long period of blurred images and experiences during this time. I am aware of making the decision to be with a man much younger than me. My awareness is very, very diminished but I somehow know that we had sexual relations and am filled with a happiness and peace that is hard to describe. I remember laying next to him in a void. I say void because it seems so dark and devoid of features other than a long, wooden or metal “bed” which we are laying on.

When my awareness comes back to me, me and this man who I know as “Phil”, are discussing a third member of our group. She is the me from the previous dream, the one who was “infected”. I know she cannot be with us because she is struggling to manage her illness. I see within my mind a screen showing her vital statistics. The statistics are shown as a green line that is in an arc heading higher and higher. However, when she becomes infected the arc, a greenish color, begins to descend and turn red. I see this “memory” of the doctors explaining what she needs to do. She must take this medicine to manage her condition as it will slowly affect her, causing her physical condition to deteriorate more and more.

Then I am talking to this “other” me, who seems very child-like, even though she is fully grown. She is very frail and thin, her skin pale and almost translucent. I find her on the floor in a white hospital-like setting, with an IV in her arm. She is unresponsive and I say to her, “Why did you do that?” and in my mind I know she has overdosed on the drug she is suppose to take to help her illness. I shake her and am worried. I have a communication with her that is without words. In it, there is a vision of her showing me three drawings she has done. They are familiar to me and are childrhuman-dnaen’s drawings. I see my initials on the top of the paper and point them out to her, congratulating her on her ability to draw and write her name.

Phil, who had been with me, is now gone but I can talk to him in my mind. The dream becomes muddled here as I gain awareness. I recognize my deep connection to this man and know he is 29 years old. At the same time i recognize this number to be significant as it adds up to 11. I am so happy to be with him but know that our communication is limited to only times he initiates. I trust him, though, and know that no communication does not indicate no connection.

I attempt several time to write an email to Phil about the ailing me. I type his email – Philateree@gmail.com.  The first time I try to send I type the address wrong and it does not go through. The second time I type it, I wake up.

The Dr. Returns

I awake to such an overwhelming calm and peace. The dream sequence is still vivid and I try to make sense of it. Am I sick? Does the dream character me indicate that I am physically ill?

My mind is filled with questions and I struggle to find the connection with my Higher Self. Why can’t I connect?

That is when I sense my guide and recognize he is the same man as in my dream. I instantly think, “Phil”. I then remember the dream I had a while back about “Dr. Who” and realize that he is the Dr from that and other dreams. He sends confirmation.

Much knowingness floods into my mind and I recognize that for some reason I have been afraid of whatever healing is about to be initiated. My dreams represent this fear. The military connection has to do with emotional repression. The illness represents a need to be healed. The IV represents healing and that an important message has been missed.

The tiny blue cube was a mystery, though. What did it symbolize?

I heard a response – “Genome”.

This response confuses me. “What genome?” and I think, “The human genome”.

I had to get up and get ready for work so I had to stop communication there. I am still trying to figure out what all these dreams signify and I am at a loss. I know I felt good this morning, so that is a positive. I suspect that my Ego is overreacting, so I distrust myself to decipher what it all means. All I know is that the last time I met with the Dr he initiated an intense healing of my heart.

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Dream: Temptation

Sometimes I have very emotional dreams. This morning I awoke to one such dream.

Temptation

Most of the details of the beginning of the dream are lost to me now, but I recall the most important details.

The dream consisted of me meeting this good looking, Hispanic man. He appeared younger than me and reminded me of someone but I cannot figure out who. We were in a house that I was not familiar with and he and I had just met. When I saw him I was hit with such a familiar pang of recognition in my heart that it took my breath away. I do not know if he had this same connection, but I think he did based upon the way the dream went.

I avoided him for some time, speaking to him briefly and engaging in only casual conversation. I made sure to keep my distance because being near him caused an overwhelming amount of desire and I was certain he would notice. Perhaps he did because he kept coming closer to me and would not allow me to go far.

Throughout this I was overcome with feelings of foreboding, continually thinking of how I was married, had children and would not do anything to cause them potential suffering. I felt as if I had been ripped in two every time I saw this young man who would not go away and who I did not really want to go away. It was an agonizing feeling!

Finally, I gave in and stopped dodging him. Just looking at him was painful and also amazingly wonderful. I don’t remember what he was saying to me but I ended up allowing him to kiss me. This was, of course, probably not a good idea as the kiss caused me to understand the intensely deep connection that existed between us.

I broke away from the kiss and began talking one hundred miles an hour about my husband and family and how I could not, would not, do anything that would put them at risk. I remember wishing I were single so badly that it hurt. My insides were in all kinds of knots with energy welling out of my first, second and third chakras.

Message from Azekiel

I awoke still feeling the agonizing split between what I wanted and what I felt was “right”. I could not figure out why I was once again having this type of dream! Then I remembered the brief OBE I had where I was allowed to witness an agreement being made between my Higher Self and some others. I remember that there was a man involved and that he was married. I also knew the agreement was that he and I would meet. I remember I felt sorry for him.

Needless to say, I was not pleased with this memory and the sudden realization that I was preparing for a meeting. Dread is all I felt. All I could think was, “Why?”

My guide was very close and he said very simply, “You are sad”.

twin-flame-swirlI didn’t feel this was true, but then maybe it was? Maybe I am hiding from a part of myself, some part deeply connected to a past where I was unfaithful? I do recall a life that fits that description.

In that, I remembered too much, I think, because I did find the sadness and two tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. I asked for healing, hoping to avoid any meeting like in my dream.

My guide said, “The healing needs to come via the physical”.

Just my luck!

I asked, “Who are you? What is your name?”

He replied, “Azekiel”.

I knew he was trying to prepare me, to help me with some big hurdle that is holding me back. I am not exactly sure what it is or why the healing needs to come via the physical. I suspect the person I am meeting has a similar need. Perhaps he and I are cancelling a karmic debt?

Near OBE

I fell back to sleep, asking to project. I was on my stomach and almost instantly found myself in the in-between but I was not becoming conscious like is normal.

I suddenly felt to be laying in my mother’s bed and all I could think about was the man from my previous dream and how desperately I wanted to be with him. The agony was very real and I just wanted to stay asleep and not have to confront the situation.

I felt someone shake me and say, “You need to get up now”. I ignored it and pushed against the hand saying, “I want to sleep”. The shaking happened again and I groaned. I heard other noises, the noises of a busy house – children’s voices, pitter patter of tiny feet, talking, etc. I specifically heard my sister’s voice. I do remember thinking that all I needed to do was roll out of my body, but I literally felt too tired to bother.

I woke up feeling so much better but I don’t know why. Perhaps I am just accepting that this needs to be done. Sigh.

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Dream Themes

The sleep disturbances continue.

I have been medicating my sleep with Benadryl so that I feel rested in the morning. However, for the last couple of days I have felt I should not take it. In this time I have come to understand why. I was missing dream messages and it was time to take notice.

The change in my sleep patterns is obvious. It goes like this: I struggle to fall asleep and when I do, I wake immediately after a dream. I fall asleep and the cycle continues. I woke about five times last night and each time from a vivid dream.

Eyes

In the past two night I have had dreams where I am fiddling with my eyes. In the first dream, I was putting in my contact lenses. One of the lenses was a large, pink pill the size of my eye! I saw it, thought it odd, but went ahead and inserted it into my eye. I blink and it dissolved into my eye and I went about my dream without issue.

In last night’s dream I took out my contacts because my eyes were dry and placed them into large, square dishes the two hands in length. A woman questioned me and I told her, “My eyes are dry, so I am giving them a break”. I later put them back into my eyes as I was leaving the scene of the dream.

Eyes symbolize enlightenment, understanding, subconscious, and awareness. They also indicate there is something that is being seen clearer than it may have been in the past. I seem to be playing with my awareness in my dreams – noting how I can choose to “see” or not see. The pill is interesting and in itself indicates restoration and healing. It is pink in color, representing love. In the dream I am inserting it into my right eye which indicates that I am accepting of healing of my physical self.

Manifestation

Another dream theme I am seeing involves exploring possibilities and manifesting desires. In one dream I allowed my husband to buy us a new house. He bought a mansion and inside I explored the rooms. He spent $410,000 on the house, which was twice what I thought we could afford but I shrugged it off. Inside the house there was a room that was elaborate with gold embellishments and a huge drum set that took up half the room. I remember thinking, “This room is not necessary”. The kitchen had small, shallow, black filing cabinets lined up inside it. I remember talking to my husband about the files we could put inside them.

When I woke from this dream I immediately thought, “I need to manifest what I want”. There was a feeling that I am too self-limiting when it comes to material things in life. It is time for me to allow myself to have more. This was what I was exploring in the above dream. It exposed my belief that having too much is excessive as represented by the room with the drums. The filing cabinets represent things I store or file away for use in life such as beliefs I hold on to.

Celebration

There is also a theme that indicates I have much to celebrate. In last night’s dream I was waiting in a doctor’s office to get my papers to go home. I was with a group and we were transferred to a room where there were people gathered to remember a passed loved one. There were images of the person who passed and everyone was grieving but I felt no grief for him as I watched images on a screen of his life. In the images the man was gutting his house and there were tubes all over the place. He died as a result. I recall feeling connected to him and happy for his successful transformation. We were then were led to another room and all let out a cheer together for our accomplishment.

When I woke from this dream the leg I had surgery on was covered in healing energy and I had a feeling that all was well.

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Vein Surgery and Recovery

Yesterday I had the Venefit Targeted Endovenous Therapy, which is just a fancy word for having vein surgery. The vein was collapsed by radiofrequency energy.

I learned a lesson in manifestation from this experience. Prior to the surgery I kept worrying over whether I should have it and when they called to confirm the appointment I actually cancelled it when they told me I would have to take antibiotics for ten days afterward. Five minutes later I had an urge to call back and when I did I spoke to a woman who reassured me that this was only precautionary. I rescheduled and it was set.

I had absolutely NO nerves or apprehension. I kept waiting for my heart to speed up or for me to get anxious, but it never happened. Never. So weird for me!

The doctor turned on a screen for me so I could watch the ultrasound of the procedure. He could not get my vein to cooperate and for about a half hour he poked and prodded in my leg. It was uncomfortable and since it was late in the day I was getting fed up. The doctor recognized this and said if he couldn’t get into the vein that he would reschedule me.

During the third try I sent to the universe this thought, “It WILL work this time because I am NOT coming back to do this again”. Literally moments after thinking this the doctor got access to the vein and the procedure continued. Amazing!

I immediately recognized the moment of manifestation and also how my indecision the last few days may have created this minor complication.

Recovery

One of my worries was that I would have a painful recovery. During the procedure I decided there would be no complications. I thought, “Recovery will be easy”. And so far, it has been. I have no bruising yet which is amazing in itself. The nurses told me usually there is already evidence of bruising at the end of the procedure. I have no swelling today, which from what they told me is uncommon. I have no pain today other than a bit of tenderness on my upper thigh when I push down on it. My son actually crawled on my leg and it didn’t hurt.

I know that this procedure will resolve most if not all of my leg aching and restlessness issues. It will also resolve the ugly vein issues and keep new veins from forming. I am so pleased!

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OBE: Class and Discussion

When I went to sleep I asked to astral and then stated over and over, “I am out of body”. I began to drift to sleep on my stomach. At this time I became aware of vibrations and hypnagogic imagery. In my vision I saw millions of tiny, black and white circles spinning rapidly. They moved and formed a 3D shape that resembled a room and staircase. I followed it, thinking, “There is color!” and saw red pop up as I followed the staircase down a couple of flights of stairs. I then knew I was losing it and it disappeared.

I fell asleep and was awakened by my baby at midnight. About a half hour later, I went back to bed and again repeated, “I am out of body” so many times I lost count.

I had a long stretch of dreams that seemed to last forever. In them, I was semi-lucid with moments of such clarity I am surprised I did not awaken. In one I was preparing to take a shower and was in a massively old hotel with vaulted ceilings.In another I gathered up supplies for my upcoming class. I got cheese and jerky sticks, four of each.

Arctic Beach

This is when class began. I slowly gained lucidity throughout this dream.

I was being instructed as I watched a scene unfold in front of me. There I saw a beautiful arctic sea and massive polar bears walking along it. There was a man with one of them and he and the bear jumped into the sea, the man on the underside of the bear holding firm to him. The bear was so large that the full grown man fit easily between his front and hind legs. Interestingly, the bear’s face was scrunched up and looked more like a primate’s face than a bear’s.

As I was watching the scene I was blown away by the breathtaking beauty of the place. I could feel the coolness of the air and was briefly worried the man would freeze in the water. My instructor, who I could only sense, reassured me that it was okay. Though I could not hear my instructor, I felt him in all ways. It was like he surrounded me and was within me at the same time.

I knew from the class that this was evolution and how it occurred. I was being shown this scene to see where it started. I was then taken to the future and recall hearing myself (as my instructor) say that the bears decided they wanted more. They wanted to educate their children and I remember being very interested in this part.

I was now standing in front of a massive structure made of stone. It had been made by these future bears who were no longer bears but more humanoid-like. They had advanced and built an entire society! I saw the massive steps that led to the entrance. They were so large that I could stand underneath one step!

At this point I was completely aware I was in a “dream class”. I said to my instructor, “I want to go inside”.

Instantly I was transported through my “eyes” into the scene. At the same time I heard an odd noise from within that I cannot describe in words. Then, I was standing underneath one of the massive stone stair steps. I crawled through the space and walked into the opening that was the massive doorway. Inside it resembled a very large, domed cave. It was so high I could not see the top of it. I saw more structures all around made out of the reddish rock. All were equally massive. I felt to be in a very ancient place, long forgotten over time but that still held immense power.

As I stared up into the blackness I felt the familiar energy sensation that tells me I am about to leave the scene. It felt as if I were sucked out of it and my vision darkened as I made the transition. Then I was talking out loud to myself and staring at a brilliant white screen. As I spoke, golden letters appeared on the screen and words formed. I was taking notes! I don’t remember now what I wrote in its entirety, though.

In this white space I became interested in what I was writing. When this happened I voiced that I wanted to learn more. I was instantly covered in energy and popped into a new scene. There was hardly any movement to indicate I had changed location!

I Am Everything
Polar-Bear-Ice

In this new place I was mid-air, flying over a small road lined with green grass and trees. The sky was blue and dotted with clouds and I was pleased to be flying. I looked down and saw a car with two young men in it staring up at me. Pleased, I swept down and said, “Hi!”, waving at them. A young man smiled up at me.

Then I felt myself slowly being pulled upward into the sky and my vision began to darken around the edges.

I protested and said, “I don’t want to go that way. Please.” I knew my instructor wanted to know what I wanted and so I said, “I want to see myself. I want to know what I look like when I am not in a physical body”. I recognized instantly that I was granted this request and the scene and all movement froze. Still hovering mid-air, I saw in front of me buildings and a solid black door the size of a garage door. I remember wondering, “Why is there a garage door there?”

The swirling energy that was me intensified. I felt revved up, as if someone had set a match to me and I was engulfed in my own energy. Scenes flooded my mind. Mountains, valleys, rivers, cities, animals, men, women, planets, galaxies….and on and on. It was all instantaneous, as if I saw everything at the same time. Still in front of me I could see the black screen.

I said out loud, “And God created the heavens and the Earth. And he created man in his own image”. And such awareness and an overwhelming amazement and understanding hit me. I said to my instructor, “I am everything”.

Return to Body

Though there was an understanding and amazement, I felt more calmness than I have ever felt while OOB. As I absorbed the information I just received my vision became crisp and the buildings and green grass of the scene were right in front of me again. I heard my guide/instructor for the first time as a thought inside my mind. As he spoke to me, the energy sensations around me intensified to the point that I felt an amazing peace. The scene in front of me began to swirl as if it were being sucked into a whirlpool. As it swirled the scene felt to be coming into my eyes and my eyes felt alive with energy and so expansive that I wondered if they could get any bigger. I suddenly realized I was returning to my body, but not in any way I have ever recalled doing. This was an amazing entry!

This went on and on for what seemed like forever. I wondered if I were ever going to be back in my body. I could sense my heart beating regularly at intervals but mostly I felt this amazing, expansive energy that was me. How could all of me fit inside a body!?

My guide was saying to me, “You are everything. You are beautiful. You are more than a body”. He said more but I cannot remember it all now. I do remember asking him, “Who are you?” He responded, “Erron”. I remembered him and replied, “Hi! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you”. I was overflowing with gratitude.

Intense Energy and Messages

When I finally settled in my body, which seemed to take a very long time and was very, very gradual, Erron began to explain more about the class I had been attending. I heard the name Kashtar but I wonder now if it was Ashtar. We had been to a place somewhere in the universe. I was fascinated!

Erron explained that what we had been discussing was how evolution works. That we choose a physical being that has certain characteristics and then enhanced the being. These characteristics include spoken language, brain capacity and potentiality, and appendages suitable for creation. The being must also be highly adaptable. I asked why not telepathy and was told, “It is not finite enough”. Interesting!

He then reminded me of all the potentialities that exist on Earth. I recognized dolphins, whales, primates, elephants among a few. Any of these could be “evolved” but humans are the chosen being now.

Throughout our discussion energy sensations around my head were intense and there were periods where I felt to be drawn into a void and then settled back into my body. It was as if I were going out and then in, out and then in. There came with these sensations a swirling and expansion in my eyes and a swooshing sound that came from within me. I have never heard such a sound before and cannot even describe it now. It is not like when I have gone OBE. Not a Velcro sound or whoosh.

The entire time I was in a complete state of calm and emotional objectivity. If I had an emotional reaction it was so subdued that it is hard to say it was emotional. If I thought of something physical I was reminded, “Defer to your Higher Self” and instantly the thoughts would vanish.

Erron was not alone and when I recognized the others with him he said, “We are the Many. We have come a long Time to assist you”. I wondered if he meant distance but recognized this was not what he meant. I also recognized the E.T. element to this, though I did not question it further. I was told I would remember more and that was good enough for me.

I questioned Erron about the surgery I have scheduled. Is it something I should do? He said, “It is your home, decorate it as you wish”. I chuckled at this response because he was referring to this body as my home.

I then returned to sleep and had more dreams. I was awakened again by the energy sensations. In my head it was strongest but I also felt my heart, root and solar plexus all buzzing at the same time. I questioned if I had entered the third surge of the trifecta. I was told no, but soon. I spent quite a while just enjoying the energy. I still feel it in my head now.

Factors Influencing Projection

Lucidity scale: 8

Intent stated?: Yes

Time to bed: 10pm

Time to wake: 12:30am, 3:00am

Meditation?: Yes

Physical Exercise?: Yes, walking

Mood: normal

Body: None

Tiredness: Low

Number of wakings: 2

Technique?: WBTB, repeated “I am OOB”

Sleeping position: back

Supplements: Multivitamin, Natural Calm 400mg, Sleepy Time Extra Tea, Biotin 1000mg, Vitamin E 400mg, Calcium 500mg, Vitamin D 250mg, vitamin B1 300mg

Essential Oils: Clary Calm, Whisper

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Savasana: Corpse Pose

The amazing happy feeling I had yesterday continues today. I got physically tired last night but could not fall asleep. I was still buzzing with a high, elation. Through the night I woke several times to the helmet sensation over my head, though it was greatly diminished from the intensity of April 2nd.

The energy has leveled out today. This short reprieve will likely make many people relieved who have been shaken up physically, emotionally and spiritually by this sudden shock wave of energy. Unfortunately, the reprieve will not be long as it will increase again tomorrow, April 4th.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. 🙂

Savasana: Corpse Pose

Although I do not remember many dreams last night, this morning after waking several times, I fell into the in-between and had a short semi-lucid dream.

In the dream I was in a golden colored room with golden colored furnishing. It was a very comfortable space and I felt relaxed. There was a man with me but I cannot recall his face now. He and I were discussing time and when talking about it I had a short dream within a dream about our discussion.

The dream within a dream was of me leaving a restaurant. I ran into some parents who were very happily chatting about a birthday party. One woman, who had short, curly blonde hair, said to me, “The teachers aren’t suppose to get here until later”. I said, “Oh I work different hours. I usually get to work at 9:45 and get off at 3:45”. She said, “Oh! I see. Those are odd hours”.

As I left and drove out of the parking lot I was thinking about my hours, trying to add them up 8 and finding they fell two hours short. I realized I had been late to work every day and decided to fix that.

I came back to the conversation with my guide and saw in front of me a word written on paper. It said, “Savasana”. I did not understand it at first so repeatedly spelled it to myself. At some point, though, my guide referred to the word and I knew exactly what it was and lay down on the floor in Savasana to demonstrate.

Interpretation

When I awoke I heard my children yelling downstairs and remembered they were coloring Easter Eggs (yes very early for that but my oldest is persistent!). I knew the dream was indicating that I needed to “get back to work”. My “work” being my family and physical existence. I knew this mainly because I had a song in my head that was saying, “The kids aren’t alright“.

The Savasana message was interesting to me and I knew that I was being instructed to sleep in this position, though I do not remember the specific conversation. I found this article on Savasana that gives a good explanation of why I was being instructed to lay in this position. Here is an exerpt:

Most of the time, we live in loops of distraction. Patanjali calls this avidya, or ignorance. Ignorance is related to the act of avoidance. In Savasana, however, we need not avoid. We simply notice, with evenly hovering attention, whatever shows up, and then allow it to pass on, to die, so that we can arrive in the present moment. Savasana offers the possibility of “a small death, every moment, every day,” says Pattabhi Jois. Much of what we notice in yoga practice is our patterns of attachment and repulsion…….Yet part of the process of allowing our preconceptions and our reactions to our anxieties to pass away is to allow for our categories of the unacceptable to fall away…….. Instead we lie down with all of our repulsions and all of our attachments, both of which are sacred, both of which teach us about our strategies of attraction and avoidance and where we are in relation to the present moment. Observing these patterns allows us to suspend those very strategies and surrender to the feelings that we have been avoiding. This surrender gives way to spaciousness in the mind and body. When one practices this way there is space enough for everything.

I received many messages yesterday indicating that my the next stage for me is to let go of more of those things – thoughts, beliefs, routines – which do not serve me and my purpose. I kept hearing the old gospel song, “Bringing in the Sheaves” and recognized with certainty that I need to work on letting go of two things: 1. Fear and 2. Attachment. I am also working on living in the present moment. All these fall in line with the Savasana message I received this morning.

We can all learn a thing or two from Savasana. I recommend to those struggling right now with the Shift to lie in this pose and allow yourself to surrender to the things (symptoms) you have been avoiding. Allow yourself to be detached from that which repulses you, observe it and allow it to pass as the moment passes.

As my guide loves to tell me, “This too shall pass”.

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Swamp Man

Besides the two OBEs I had last night/this morning, I also had vivid dreams in between. In fact, I was dreaming and waking and dreaming and waking all night long. I don’t feel very rested this morning.

Swamp Man

This dream was set in the country. I was with other people talking about different plots of land; farms that were being renovated.

We walked to a small farm that was hidden amidst trees. There was a rundown one-room cabin that no one lived in and I wandered off to explore.

I came upon what appeared to be an animal covered in mud. I was standing atop a hill of dirt and leaves and looked down at him. I had pity for him and so fed him some grass, which he ate. He then moved closer and I finally recognized him as a man. I said, “You’re human!” I could see his face showing through some patches of mud and slime.

Now friends, we walked toward the house that was being renovated and discussed the plumbing. He showed me how they had hooked up the hot water heater and I saw this pump at the base of the house with pipes coming out. He mentioned that the pipes leaked and I saw they were leaking at the joints. We discusses probable solutions and I told him that it made more sense to just rip out all the old plumbing and replace it rather than try to fix really old, brittle pipes.

The Swamp Man then embraced me and I was caught up in an intense energy that woke me up. This is when I felt intense energy sensations and went OOB for the first of two times that night.

Heroine Addict

I was with a group of people inside an apartment in the Projects. No one was inside and we were going to make a recipe and needed specific ingredients. I recall looking for cornmeal and searching through food on the counter and finding some. There was a conversation about being lied to about the results achieved from using this particular recipe.

I was then watching an older, light skinned, African American woman talking to a man. Her face was very vivid in the dream. She had her hair underneath a cloth and was about 50 years of age. She was a Heroine addict but did not appear to be high.

The man with her was interrogating her about our recent visit. What was interesting was how clean her apartment was and how high class it appeared. I could see the other apartments around hers and they were also very high class and upscale. I remember thinking, “They sure have it nice here”.

colors dropplet ripples waterShower

The dreams continued but I will skip to the last one.

There was this very large, glass encased shower. It was the size of a small office. A woman and a man were going inside. I was also inside at times and recall the water coming out of a shower head high above us. It was misting and we were all asked to inhale the midst. This was linked to the heroine dream and I recall thinking this was a way to detox.

I had the idea to change the flow and when I did the mist stopped and a flood of water came out. It was suggested to me that this was not best and so I turned it back to the mist.

It was then that I noticed the man in the shower was the Swamp Man from my previous dream. There he was covered in mud and in front of him was an older woman whose nakedness was very obvious. They embraced and the woman’s breasts pressed up against the Swamp Man and he kissed them. I was completely grossed out by this! The woman caressed the man’s head and I saw the mud begin to come off. There was a bright blue, scaly patch on his head that seemed to glow. I noticed it with great interest and came in for a closer look. It was then that I saw who the Swamp Man really was – he was the man who called himself “Tom Arnold” from my previous OBE!

I immediately awoke from the dream overcome with such loss that I cannot explain. I recognized my guide from the dream and began to talk with him about what was going on. I felt such loss, as if I had let myself down. I did not understand why I was failing at this task!

There was energy all over me, specifically at my crown and the back of my head. I also felt it intensely in my throat, which is a first for me.

I asked “Tom” why he was all covered in mud. He said, “You don’t want to see me”. I also knew this meant there was something about myself I did not want to see. Our conversation revealed that I am afraid to really “see” myself. I am also afraid to trust myself.

I cannot see the truth in the world and in others if I cannot see it within myself.

I was told that I am close and to not despair. But how could I not? The feeling of failure was so intense that I could not return to sleep. As I tried, I was asked to consider how I could lift my spirits, and thus my energy. I resolved to focus upon my family. When I finally fell asleep, I went OOB and had my second OBE of the night.

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Current Symptoms of the “Shift”

I figured it was about time that I share some of the odd sensations and physical issues I have been having since my last update.

Current Symptoms

  • Headache, especially in the mornings and at night
  • Stomach upset in the morning
  • Energy sensations in third eye, crown and base of head
  • Deep sleep
  • Vivid dreams often with messages
  • Upper back stiffness
  • Lower back (pelvis) stiffness
  • Leg pain (feels like “growing pains” from youth)
  • Restless energy in legs
  • Ringing in ears (mostly right ear)
  • Dry, flaky skin that is manageable but irritating
  • Increased thirst
  • Visual anomalies (seeing flashes of light, colored streamers coming out of son, etc)
  • Tiredness/lack of motivation
  • Periods of total calm
  • Odd, heavy energy that descends over crown of head
  • Sleep disturbances

Coping Mechanismsclary-calm-did-you-know

This is what I have been doing to handle some of my symptoms:

  • Upset stomach – I drink a glass of water and eat something calming like oatmeal with fruit
  • Leg restlessness and pain – Put feet up and/or meditate to ground energy
  • Dry skin – Wash face with grapeseed oil, limit harsh chemicals
  • Increased thirst – Drink!
  • Back pain – Yoga, stretching, exercise
  • Headache – Ask for healing, rarely I take Ibuprofen
  • Tiredness/lack of motivation – When tired, I try to sleep; for motivation I go outdoors
  • Sleep disturbances – Meditate, focus on heart chakra, let it pass without fixating on it

These are life changes I have made that have either eased or completely eliminated my symptoms:

  • Drinking mineral water with apple cider vinegar in the morning with daily probiotic
  • Limiting gluten (not gluten-free, I can’t do that)
  • Limiting sugar and refined carbohydrates
  • Drinking alkaline water from Kangen machine daily (usually 1 gallon or more)
  • Eating organic as often as possible
  • Eating 3 or more servings of veggies daily
  • Stopped using antiperspirant deodorant completely

Current DoTERRA Essential Oil Usage

  • ClaryCalm/Monthly Oil Blend– aids in self-acceptance, expressing one’s inner child, enhances sexuality, promotes balance
  • Whisper/Women’s Oil Blend – assists in balancing masculine/feminine energies; calms anger and other negative emotions
  • Patchouli – helps individuals be more grounded and stable
  • Serenity/ Calming Oil Blend – calms negative feelings, promotes forgiveness of self and others, assists in relieving self-criticism and judgement of others/self
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Amazing Grace

The energy event I experienced early this morning was indeed very different from the others. I suspect it is not complete, so perhaps this was just the first “course”.

Crystal Beach

I was walking through a large, brown and gold colored mall searching for an exit. I came upon two glass doors and opened them. When I went into the room it resembled a waiting area and was lit up with a golden color.

A dark haired little girl was at the door and looked up at me. I said to her, “I know you” but she said, “I don’t think so”. I stared at her for quite some time trying to place her but the memory was not there.

I saw that there were two office doors ahead of me. I read their signs but all I recall now is they were businesses offering alternative healing.

I turned to my left to leave and saw double glass door with small revolving doors. I saw outside was bright and very white and thought I saw the ocean so went outside to investigate.

I walked onto a crystal white sand beach that stretched quite a distance on both sides of me. In front of me was the most vividly blue water I had ever seen. It shimmered in the sunlight and the entire scene reminded me of the Arctic except it was not snow nor was it cold. I said, “It looks like snow!”

I looked out ahead of me and saw mounds of snow-like sand piled high and people frolicking about on top of it. There were also tons of people all around me enjoying the beach. I sought out a place where there were no people and saw to my left an expanse of white and blue that stretched for miles, not a soul to be seen. I reveled in the beauty for some time, talking to an unseen companion.

Curious about where I was, I soon found myself floating high above the beach and moving farther away, watching the beach, turned coastline turned continent shrink below me. I saw an unfamiliar continent stretched out before me, the coastline shimmering brightly below me. I tried to say it was India but the shape was wrong. I soon concluded I was not on Earth. This was some other place.

heart_chakra2Healing Session

I then found myself inside one of the healing offices and could still see the beach through the glass door. There was a tall, dark haired man who was “the Dr.” His female assistant I recognized instantly as an old friend in life. I was at ease and knew why I was there.

There was a table in the center of the room. I lay down on it and the woman stood at my left shoulder. She touched it and whispered some words I did not recognize but there was a “P” sound at the beginning of the phrase. This was when the Dr., who was standing on my right at my midsection, began doing his work.

I was suddenly filled with an intense energy at my heart chakra. It felt that my chakra expanded outward and then upward forming a bubble of energy that hung over my entire body like a hot air balloon. The power of the energy caused my legs to involuntarily begin to kick out and I was uncomfortably aware of this to the point that it distracted me from the pleasant energy.

The heart energy continued to intensify and along with it my head was engulfed in energy as well. I was still focused on my legs, however, and this brought the attention of the Dr.

He came to my right leg and asked me to focus on it. So I did and the kicking stopped but the left leg still kicked so high that it was at a 90 degree angle to my body. I focused more and was able to calm it. By then, though, the heart energy has subsided.

Gathering Sand

I was then heading toward a bag and opening it up to retrieve a silver metal bowl. When I picked it up, it began to vibrate and make music. I recognized the music to be, “Amazing Grace”. I exclaimed to my healers, “It’s playing Amazing Grace!” They acknowledged this and the music stopped.

I told them I wanted to gather some white sand for later and was told that my husband was already gathering it. I looked outside and sure enough there he was with my children in the sand.

Then I was holding sand in the silver bowl. It formed into balls, like snow balls, and I held one out amazed at how easily it kept its shape.

My two healers were laid out on the table and so I approached them with the bowl. They had laid out a red, embroidered blanket and the Dr. was on my left and his assistant in front of me.

I accidentally spilled some sand on their blanket on onto the Dr. and laughed it off. Then I felt I needed to sing and began to sing Amazing Grace. Yet the words and melody that came out of my mouth were not of that song but of The Old Rugged Cross. Specifically:

And I love that old cross where the Dearest and Best
For a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain:
So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it someday for a crown.

The assistant began to sing along with me, trying to harmonize but I was singing to high for her. I kept singing it over and over and then was overcome with tears of joy mixed with longing. I awoke sobbing.

Messages

When I awoke I still felt the energy lingering over my body and knew that I had received intense healing. My guide was there and I knew what the song meant. The song is symbolic of so many things: my Christian upbringing, how life’s sufferings will one day end with a reward, how that reward is reunion with myself/the One. I was hit with knowingness that I am soon to be done with my lives on Earth, only two more. That I am the one who determines what “level” I am at – there are no generic levels. I am learning to be a guide and am currently doing that, though I have no memory while in the physical body of doing this. This life has been successful (I was taken through parts of it and asked to evaluate them) and has gone as planned. I asked how this “success” will be experienced after death. I was shown/told that when I return to Myself there will be a great ripple of energy sent out and I will be the center of it. Every One will know my jubilation and I will be More than I was before this life. The result is a celebration of Self that is indescribable in human terms and experience.

I was also told:

  1. I am purging my heart chakra of the “things I have done and that have been done to me”.
  2. The Dr’s name is Saul and his assistant’s name is Rebecca.
  3. The Higher Beings who have been in contact with me are three. I got the name Azriel this time along with Melchizedek but resisted this. When asked by one of these Higher Beings why I was resistant, I realized I did not feel worthy.
  4. I am to listen to my heart when I find myself resistant to the messages I receive.The feeling will not lie.
  5. I am Worthy. This message brought more tears and intense emotional release.
  6. The name of the place I visited is Jelung pronounced, “Ye-Lawn”. I spell it the way I was shown but it was not written in English letters. I was told it was a place “Created for me” and “of healing”.