Category Archives: kundalini

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Semi-Lucid Dream: Heart Expansion

I awoke around 5:30am and asked to astral project. I fell back to sleep quickly.

I gradually began to gain lucidity. I was in a shallow, rocky pool with others like myself. We were spread out and discussing the healing processes we had each been through. I felt comfortable but at the same time was not sure who these people were or where I was.

There was an older gentleman near me who I had been working closely with. He was very familiar to me. He had blonde hair, or maybe it was white, but had deep furrows in his brow and laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. I assumed him to be about 20 years older than me.

We were talking about the healing sessions but I can’t recall it in detail now. I felt drawn to the man and so moved in closer to him as we talked. There was a moment when I felt a decision was made to proceed to the next “step” in the process. I remember looking at the water and seeing that we were sitting inside a rocky, clear stream. The boulders were dark and smooth and the water shallow but deep enough to cover our legs as we sat in it. I fiddled with several red bricks that were at my feet and looked out of place. I said, “The bricks moved” as I tried to put them back in place.

The man said something to me and I turned and looked at him. His eyes were smiling even though he wasn’t. I made the “decision” then and fell into his arms. It seemed as if I melted into him and at that moment I didn’t care about my life or the consequences of this decision I made. All I knew is that I would give up everything I had to be right here, right now – forever.

As I held onto him I was approached by a little girl. She had dark, curly hair and was very timid-like. A woman was behind her and I felt she was her guide/caretaker. The little girl touched my knee and spoke to me.

“Quiero la verdad”, she said to me softly. But I heard her also say, “Tengo la verdad” at exactly the same time.

Confused, I caught only the word, “verdad” and knew immediately the translation.

“Truth”, I said aloud. “She said, ‘Truth'”.

I then looked behind her at the woman guardian and felt we needed to invite the little girl to/into us.

Heart Connection

The sensation of the connection I had just made woke me up and I lay there in total bliss as the energy of my heart chakra expanded. I felt the presence of my Companion close and knew something was up, but didn’t care. This indescribable feeling was all I cared about. I also knew the little girl who spoke Spanish was me and that she brought with her “truth”.

I tried to figure out what the feeling I felt was. I had been, still was, willing to give up everything for the feeling. It was similar to intense sexual attraction without the sexual part. It was like I had found my other half and there was no way I was about to let it go. (As I type this my heart is expanding again and the feeling makes me want to cry with joy)

My Companion said to me, “We are One”, and as I worried the feeling would leave he said, “It is always there. It will always be there”.

The feeling intensified and I caught myself holding my breath.

“It is beautiful”, I said to him. And it was/IS.

I recognized then that some of my other chakras were sporadically pulling and filling with the blissful energy as well. I felt my second chakra and my third eye the most intensely, but my root chakra also pulled. As I focused on them, I heard my Companion comment on the thoughts I had. My second chakra is nearly cleared and soon there will be a full alignment and the energy will pour in from the top and the bottom. I could only imagine how that would feel. His comment to that was, “Soon”.

I didn’t wan to move or leave. I said to him, “I don’t want this to stop – ever”.

I was instructed to relax and let go, so I did. An image then came to me of a shelf with hay, similar to the nesting boxes of chickens. I saw myself selecting eggs, but these were no ordinary eggs. They were huge, like ostrich eggs, and each was a vibrant color. I saw blue first and reached for it and held it in my hands. It was larger than my hand! I then became fully lucid and said, “They are the chakras!” as I saw a yellow one, an orange one, and a purple one. I looked for the red one and when I saw it the image vanished and I saw myself surrounded by a circle which was clear on the inside but outlined in solid red.

I woke up fully then, still feeling the amazing sensation expanding from my heart center. I rolled over and our conversation continued, but I don’t recall it all now. I was instructed to lay on my back, so I did. I also recall being told to not resume smoking (I quit my one-cigarette a night a week ago today).

The next part will be in my next entry for this one is too long already.

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More Physical Manifestations of the Shift

With all the changes in energy and their effects upon me, I figure I should post the current manifestations I am having. If you are experiencing similar, please let me know. There is an intense building of energy right now that is creating these intense reactions and I believe this will culminate in the next Starseed activation period. According to my Council, the next Activation will occur with the full moon in the month of October. This does not align with what others are saying about the September full moon but I believe my Council over the predictions I have seen all over the net.

Physical Manifestations of the Shift

  • Anxiety
  • Dizziness
  • Increased heart rate
  • tingling sensations
  • heart chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • third eye energy sensations/pulling
  • root and second chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • spontaneous K rising up to lower heart chakra
  • energy helmet when doing yoga or meditating
  • vision changes – feels like I’ve entered a “dream”
  • sudden calm and/or feelings of joy
  • increase thirst
  • increase and then decrease in hunger
  • sleep disturbances – can’t fall asleep, toss and turn, strange dreams
  • feeling of being “done” with life
  • random thoughts that do not fit and are negative or fearful
  • difficulty controlling random thoughts
  • daydreaming – gazing at clouds or sky or staring into space
  • feeling of being shifted to this time/space from somewhere else
  • moments of intense clarity/knowingness
  • sensitive to loud noises

For me, the current changes are beginning to increase in intensity, especially the random thoughts that pop into my head. These thoughts are along the lines of fears and worries that are seeping out through my subconscious into my consciousness. For example, as I tried to sleep last night, my thoughts immediately went to my middle son and I had horrid images of him being molested and tortured by a man. I tried to push the images out of my mind and heard my Companion ask me if I could accept the possibility of that occurring (this was not that it would but that I need to accept that things like that happen all the time on Earth and it could happen to me). I completely rejected it and said, “I would shoot whoever it was in the head if they tried to hurt my child!” I fought back other images of similar torturous things that are done to innocents as well as a huge lump of grief and despair. I realized in this, though, that I did not have images of my daughter come into my mind, or any female children. With this came the understanding that such things have happened along my time track to my sons and others’ sons over and over and will need to be cleared in order to make this life more productive and end a long cycle.

There are other less intense random thoughts coming in, but I cannot remember them now. I believe the key here is to look at them objectively in order to recognize the lesson they come to teach. These are issues that are rising up to be released and the only way to release them is to take a look at them and allow them to teach you what it is they have to teach.

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Thank Heavens for September!

I don’t know about you, but the last few days have been heavy ones for me. The energy seemed stifled and often I felt trapped in a corner without knowing why. Strangely, I was able to remain pretty calm despite this. I could observe the storm brewing deep inside me and I let it brew but kept it from escaping – for the most part.

Then last night, at about 8pm CST, the storm was gone. The energy of it vanished and I felt myself rise up to a higher vibration almost instantly. It was a night and day experience. For the first time in a while my spirits were lifted and my pessimism replaced with a strange optimism. Since I was tired and preparing for bed, I didn’t try to analyze what happened, I just meditated myself to sleep.

I awoke 2 hours later quite suddenly. I saw that the clock said 10:40pm. “That can’t be right”, I thought. So I checked the clock in the hall. Hmm. It really was 10:40pm.

Exchange

Then next time I awoke it was from a dream in which I was discussing an affair I had with Tom Cruise (really not my type). I awoke in the midst of a strong energy rising through my lower three chakras. It had a strong sexual pull with it but was also quite distinctly something else. The energy, unfortunately, hit my second and third chakras in a painful twisted way, but was not so painful as to make me want the energy to stop rising upward.

I let the energy linger for some time but sent a questioning thought to my Companion. The reply was simply, “Exchange” and I knew that the old energy in these chakras was being exchanged for new energy. In my mind a longer explanation came to me suddenly. This exchange had already occurred in the upper chakras and “pain” from this exchange was simply the new energy breaking through old blockages.

Still very optimistic, I let my Companion know that I would be happy to have more similar experiences. The energy was pleasant and persuasive. I could feel the hope and optimism created by the 2nd chakra and willed it to expand. I have missed it!

Peaceful Optimism

After the exchange experience, I fell into a deep sleep and vivid dreams. Every time I would wake up, I felt to have been asleep for many more hours than I had. There was also a strange, heavy energy settled over my head similar to the energy helmet I am use to. My third eye chakra was also active.

The peaceful, optimistic feeling is still with me. Life no longer seems grueling and difficult like it has felt most of August. Relief came with September and I am truly grateful I persevered to this point.

Note: I began taking Maca root yesterday afternoon. Since this is my first experience taking it, I am not sure if it is the cause of this change in mood or if it is indeed an energy shift. It is likely both, but if it is the Maca then it is my new best friend. 🙂

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Vibrations and a Message

My days have been quite busy because I have decided (based upon a strong nudging) to focus on counseling while at work and to focus on family and my side-business when not at my job. I also felt inclined to visit my local Gold’s Gym and resume my strength training regime which I have slacked on since I became pregnant with my third child. Starting up the 4-day-a-week training schedule will take up much of my free time but allows me time to myself, away from the demands of my stay-at-home routine.

Despite this total submersion into physical reality, there has been a switch flipped it seems and my Companion is much closer and communicative. I barely notice the messages when I am busy but when I have down time the feelings, urges, and messages seem to burst through all at once as if they have been held back by a dam.

Last night the floodgates opened when I was watching T.V. We have Netflix and I, like many others, have found it very convenient to watch episode after episode without much break. Currently the show of choice is Hell On Wheels. I typically go into that wonderful T.V. amnesia period where the show takes me away from my present life and submerges me in a make-believe one. You all know what I am talking about. 🙂

So while in the midst of watching season 2, episode 4, I felt the distinct inner nudge that indicates my Companion wants my attention. When I focused upon it I instantly had a vision of doing yoga. Recognizing this, I sent back the thought, “Okay, after this episode”. Yet when the episode ended I started the next one. Funny enough, the episode wouldn’t play and so I gave up and went to my yoga site.

Vibrations and a Message

After doing a short Shakti yoga routine (intense!) I did some Hatha yoga to wind down. Then I went to bed.

I slept hard and had strange dreams of returning to a place I had not been to in a long time and watching a graduation ceremony of some sort where I congratulated on old friend on her accomplishment. I briefly recall it being Montana but then it did not resemble Montana much.

When I awoke it was suddenly to my body vibrating very intensely. These vibrations were not like those that I get upon exiting my body for an OBE. They were more like my entire physical body was shifting very rapidly and subtly. I have felt these kinds of all-over-body vibrations before, but it had been some time. I wanted to roll over and resume sleep but felt I should not. So I lingered on my back and let the vibrations continue, reviewing my dream messages because I felt I should know what had been discussed.

The vibrations slowed and then stopped and a message came through seeming to come from more than one source. The message was concerning me smoking my one cigarette at night before bed. They said, “You have to stop”. I asked why and was told, “It is interfering with the process” and I saw that the energy was being blocked. At this time my heart chakra began to light up with energy, as if to push the point home.

I asked if the process would continue if I didn’t heed the message and the answer I got was that it would continue but much more slowly. There was a sense of urgency with this response, as if the process needed to move faster, not slower.

I was then told, “You will be called”. I had heard this before and so shrugged it off thinking it just another cryptic message that made no sense to me. There was with it the strange feeling that comes with the other worldly communications I have gotten in the past, so perhaps this is why I shrugged it off – it is quite unreal to me. Yet the message was repeated as if it were very important. I still do not understand what is meant by it since “being called” can mean so many things.

I asked for help in stopping my one cigarette a day habit and then got out of bed. It’s my daughter’s first day of second grade so I could not linger and talk anymore.

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Kundalini Surge

It’s been a long week. I have read that the energies shifted sometime in the middle of the week. I, personally, did not feel this particular shift, at least not until this morning.

Before bed I asked my guide/Companion/Higher Self to please give me some kind of spiritual experience. It has been many weeks since I have had anything significant and I really, really needed something to keep me motivated. I felt asleep not expecting much since I have been asking the same thing pretty much non-stop since this “break” began mid-June.

Kundalini Surge

I was awakened suddenly out of dream by an intense shooting energy that originated in my root chakra and shot up through my third chakra. The energy was different but very obviously K (Kundalini). I desperately wanted it to rise all the way to my heart chakra but awoke before it got there and was saying to my guide, “No! No!”. I am not sure if it was that I was saying “No” to it rising or “No” to it stopping.

The energy itself was pleasantly painful. I hate to call it that but that is the only way to describe it. It felt like my chakras were being ripped apart but in a good way. Kind of like painfully good sex. The only time in my life I have felt similar sensations in my body was during sex but only while pregnant. For men this will be hard to understand but for those of you who are women and have had sex while pregnant you may.

When pregnant, a woman is either highly sexual or loses all interest in sex. For me, I am a mixture of both – I don’t want sex but I am not against it and when I do have it I suddenly am very, very interested. The entire sexual experience is also very different for me when pregnant. Everything is enhanced and there is a heightened sensitivity to touch. The result is a intensely pleasant and somewhat “painful” experience.

Like I said, hard to describe but this is how last night’s experience was.

I lay there a while wanting the energy to rise to my heart. This was an almost desperate desire for the energy to move and I heard my guide close instructing me to actually take the energy and nudge it upward. Unfortunately, I was too distracted because I needed to use the restroom. When I returned to bed the energy had lessened, though there was quite a bit still lingering in my third chakra and my heart and head had also begun buzzing.

As I tried to fall back to sleep I was reminded of a message my guide had given me of how the integration process would be occurring in the bottom three chakras, originating in the root and rising upward. This was the second such rising.

I lay on my stomach for a while and when I did the energy intensified and I could feel the energy balled up where my second chakra is. It is odd to feel it all the way through to the back! This has happened with my heart before, though.

The energy swirled in a tight ball at first but then began to expand upward into my third chakra where it then expanded more. From there it filled the entire bottom of my rib cage. The energy between the two chakras settled along my spine. It was both hot and cold at the same time and seemed about two inches wider than my spine. It also moved haphazardly back and forth along the spinal column. This is the first time I have felt the K resemble the slithering serpent. It was very cool!

I fell asleep still feeling the ball of energy in my third chakra, though much subtler. This morning my hips ache.

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Kundalini Yoga Results

I felt drawn to do yoga last night. I selected a Kundalini yoga class which focused on the sacral plexus (2nd chakra). I didn’t feel anything significant occur when I did it and I found it quite difficult because it invovled a back bend and the breath of fire which I am not accustomed to doing.

Later, I meditated prior to bed. It was the second meditation of the day and I felt the familiar energy helmet almost immediately but it was more intense at the top, back portion of my crown. I fell asleep on my back, my crown still buzzing.

Along with the other two dreams I posted today, I had a very vivid experience in which there was sexual content. I won’t go into detail here but I will say that my second chakra was quite active. The dream itself did not wake me up, which is good, and it was very apparent that the purpose of the dream was to activate my lower three chakras. When I awoke I recognized the Kundalini yoga served its purpose.

For those who are interested, this is the yoga video I did. It is at the intermediate level but I do not think it too difficult for beginners. However, if you are new to Kundalini yoga, you may want to first do the Kundalini Yoga for Beginners video.

https://www.doyogawithme.com/content/kundalini-yoga-sacral-chakra

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Savasana Meditation

While my baby took his afternoon nap, I felt I needed to lay in savasana and meditate for a while. I situated myself on the floor in my bedroom, head facing north and palms up to receive.

Almost immediately I began to feel hovered over by several guides. My Companion, or main guide, was to my left instructing me and explaining what was happening. There was more of a feeling of his guidance than words, though I did hear sentences every now and again.

My head had been buzzing prior to meditating but now it was becoming the massive energy helmet I have become use to. The only difference in the helmet was that it did not extend around the back of my head as usual but just covered the top, sides and forehead.

As the energy increased I heard, “Focus up” and so I rolled my eyes up and back into their sockets, focusing as best I could on my third eye. I then heard, “Tell me if you feel pain”.

I tried to stay focused on my third-eye the best I could but my second chakra was lighting up. The energy formed a kind of upside down crescent moon shape with my belly button in the middle. The energy did not hurt but I could tell there was something different happening in this area.

Around the time my second chakra began to buzz, my heart chakra also began to activate and there was a memory of a dream I had when much healing work was being done on this area. I felt something similar was happening, though not for the same purpose. This was an alignment.

My Companion was now near my crown and I felt the presence of three others all down near my second chakra. I could not see them but the feeling of their energy was large and they seemed to fill up all the space right above me. I felt cocooned.

I again received instructions to focus upward, so I did, but I kept being distracted by my second chakra and the strange occasional surges in my heart chakra.

As I lay there accepting the healing I began to have thoughts that are not common for me anymore. They were barely there but the presence of them incited a comment from my Companion, “That is good”. The particular thoughts were of wanting that wonderful desirous feeling that comes with new love.

The thoughts faded as quickly as they came but there was an energy that lingered and I could feel movement in my root chakra. The energy there did not rise but seemed to spread out and settle. My second chakra continued to buzz strangely.

Then my right leg began to feel funny and the muscles in my thighs around my knees began to twitch. I knew there was tension in my legs from the energy, especially my right leg. This also reminded me of the heart healing dream I had. My right leg had been involuntarily kicking during the dream healing. I wonder what causes it?

Eventually the energy blanket that comes with entering light trance brought me out of a reverie I did not know I was in. Interestingly at this same moment my baby awoke from his nap and my husband arrived home with our other two children. It seems the healing session was over.

I feel blessed to have received such wonderful healing. Thank you.

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Preparing for the Next Stage

I am on day 12 of my purification and am feeling excellent except that I am now struggling to fall asleep at night. I blame the extra energy I have for that.

At this stage I am not noticing too many toxins and chemicals being released. There are occasional muscle twitches in my back and one nostril will stop up randomly, but other than that, nothing. I suspect the muscle twitches result from a release of tension in my back from all the time in the sauna. The stopped up nose could be allergies or maybe the nasal spray I used for so long through each of my three pregnancies.

I now look forward to the running and to the Niacin flush as it turns on full force in the midst of my runs.  I forgot how freeing it can be to run for long periods of time. Yesterday I did not want to stop running and actually extended my running time to 35 minutes. 🙂 I also find myself daring the Niacin to do its worst during my run. I kind of have the “no pain, no gain” idea going on. That is just how I am, though. I love to push my body to its limits. I also strongly believe that one’s mindset makes all the difference. Long ago I decided, “I control my body, my body doesn’t control me”.

Sleep Changes

As I mentioned already, falling asleep has become a challenge with all the extra energy I have. It takes me about 2 hours to fall asleep when before it would take literally minutes. I am also now waking up more frequently in the night like I did prior to starting the purification. I suspect my body has adjusted to the new routine and the increase in vitamins and minerals. I also find it interesting that these sleep patterns go hand-in-hand with the solar flare activity lately, which has been off the charts.

I awoke this morning from a very realistic dream in which I had accidentally killed a man and deciding if I should confess or try and hide it. I went to the police station and told the officer of my crime and he filled in a sheet. He left for a long time and I began to fret and worry if I had done the right thing. I ended up sneaking out the back door and running. The whole time I was escaping I knew that it was pointless as all the evidence pointed to me. I thought of all my options, even suicide, but recognized I had to take responsibility for my actions.

When I woke from this dream it was still very real to me and I had to reorient myself to present time. I literally awoke feeling I needed to prepare myself for a long stent in jail. Ha! I then recalled that while I was hiding from the law I was mowing a lawn and doing yard work. How odd!

Spiritual Changes – Preparing for the Next Stage

Yesterday, while in the sauna, I felt the familiar energy helmet sensation come on for a minute or so and then vanish. It happened again an hour or so later and now is just barely noticeable again.

I spend most of my sauna time reading Science Fiction books, so it is rare that I notice anything going on with my body/mind because I am so engrossed in my reading. I am currently reading, A Darkling Sea by James Cambias (great book!). Reading passes the time and keeps me from fixating on just how hot it is in the sauna (168 degrees).

Yesterday I would be pulled out of my reading by the strange helmet energy or a sudden thought unrelated to my reading. My guide would respond to my thoughts, which he hasn’t been doing for some time. He again communicated with me last night prior to bed saying to me, “You are large” and sending me a mental visual of my energy (aura) expanding way past my normal six to eight feet around my body. I was white and expansive and felt this body to be so very small. He then said, “You will remember again” when a memory of the amazing things I have experienced caused me to long for more. I asked if this meant that my “rest” was over, and he said, “Not just yet. We will ease you into it”. I know I am nearing completion of my purification, so this is likely why I am again receiving communication.

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Strange Chills

Today is day 5 of my purification and I feel like I have been doing it for a month. Yesterday’s dosage of Niacin caused me to have the strongest reaction I have ever had to it. I literally looked like I had a very bad sunburn on all exposed parts of my body. I didn’t feel bad, just looked bad. There was some tingling but not much and it was not as bad the first reaction I had, which is interesting. Later, after the flush faded, I had unexplainable bouts of depression just hit me for seconds to a minute at a time and then vanish just as quickly.

I suspect that what was getting purged from my system is years of the antidepressant Zoloft. Though I didn’t take large quantities of it, I did take it for an extended period of time in my late 20s. Ever since coming off of it I have had to wear earplugs to sleep because I became a horribly light sleeper. I am hoping when this purification is over that the earplugs will no longer be needed and whatever damage was done by that horrible drug will be reversed.

Spirituality

One of the worst side-effects of this purification is that I have lost almost all spiritually related experiences since starting. I understand this is because my physical body is going through quite an ordeal, but I feel extremely cut-off from my Team and Council now. They are there, as proved the other morning by them waking me up to a message which I then wrote out and posted, but other than that there is very little communication. Even when focusing on my heart space all I get is a sense that all is okay and going well. That should be enough, I suppose, but I wish I could have a cool guide-encounter via dream or OBE.

There is, of course, the occasional crown chakra tingling and feeling that something is going on beyond the veil between myself and my Team. The knowingness is only via a feeling and if I try and figure it out more than I just can’t seem to get anywhere. My mind is blocked, which I think is the point. Feeling the communication should be enough, right?

Strange Chills

I did want to mention something that happened on my way home from my purification yesterday as it was very odd and a first for me.

While driving there were moments when the traffic would suddenly stop and this would, of course, cause me to react and my physical body would send adrenaline into my arms and legs momentarily. It was not huge amounts of adrenaline, either. However, for some reason, I felt a cold chill on my skin, almost like I walked into a deep freeze but even colder than that. It felt like every nerve in my body activated and was quite similar to localized kundalini energy sensations I have gotten in the past.

After it happened the first time, I became use to the traffic conditions and the adrenaline aspects stopped but the chills continued. So, it was not the adrenaline itself causing the sensation. It slowly wore off over the length of the drive until it was no longer noticeable and I was hit with an intense exhaustion.

If I had not had all of the odd energy sensations I have had in my lifetime, I would have gone into panic over the strange chills. They were quite intense and very distinct. I decided to enjoy the sensation rather than reject it and they almost had a soothing quality to them.

I am curious if they will show up again today. I suspect something about the purification – the Niacin and length of time in a sauna – caused this phenomenon. Perhaps it was the Zoloft and other similar medications I have taken in the past being purged? I can only guess.

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Heart Center Adjustment

As I mentioned in my last post, I was unable to fall asleep last night. Part of it was my illness, but the other part had to do with an odd feeling in my heart space.

The feeling is hard to describe but it felt as if there was trapped energy there. I had requested help from my guides to fall asleep and was instructed to focus on my heart space. That is when the strange energy became very strong. It was not the normal pulling sensation nor the vortex-like spinning I am use to. Instead, it felt like my entire midsection from my collarbone to my pelvis was buzzing, jumping and shooting with electrical energy. It was not a comfortable feeling and reminded me somewhat of being anxious, but it was not the same.

Oddly, the sensation pulled me into the in-between and I lay there for so long I thought I must have fallen asleep because I don’t remember anything from that time period. I want to say I was in the in-between at least half an hour. When I regained awareness, the strange feeling was intensely apparent and large, like my entire mid-section were engulfed in electrically charged flames. I didn’t feel hot, though, just different, as if I were split in two but only in that part of my body.

I awoke and then went back into the strange sensation which now no longer bothered me, falling into a very deep sleep. My dreams were in an environment I have not been in before where the atmosphere is similarly charged with the same heart-space energy except in the dream the energy was deeply calming and felt like an extension of myself.

When I awoke there was a knowing that I had received intense healing. I also knew the illness I currently have is a direct result of some of the changes I am going through, My body is reacting to them, adjusting and correcting itself. I am glad a cold is all that resulted!