Category Archives: kundalini

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Healing Spheres of Golden Light

In an attempt to get a longer, more restful sleep, I gave in and took 25mg of Benadryl last night. I slept until 7am with few wakings for a total of 10 hours of sleep!

Dreams and False Awakenings

The Benadryl gives me that heavy, full-of-sleep feeling, so although I did dream, I have few memories of dreams. The few memories I do have are riddled with false awakenings indicating that I was nearly lucid, but just not quite enough to wake up and recognize I was dreaming.

In one particular false awakening instance, I had “awakened” from a dream and rolled back over to return to sleep only to find that I was feeling a very strong energy in my root chakra and a churning desire in my second chakra. I recognized this and decided I needed to wake my husband to release some of the energy.

I got up out of bed (remember this is a dream but I think I am awake) and look for my husband. I find him sitting inside an unfamiliar car in the driver’s seat. He sees me and is surprised. I have a blanket wrapped around me and still feel very groggy. I reach over and kiss him passionately he. He is surprised and we make out for a short while. I am pleased because I feel such an overwhelming desire for him, a desire I have not felt since after the birth of our second child.

Gaining hope that perhaps we can rekindle that new love feeling, I am about to ask him to come into the house when he points ahead at a person walking along the road. He says,”I wonder why they are out so late?” He is curious and begins to drive toward the woman. This reveals an entire group of people walking along the road. A light appears which I think are car headlights. Turns out it is flashlights and the group is much larger than I thought.

My husband, being the socialite he is, questions the woman who says there is a neighborhood meeting. My husband gathers data from her to the extent that I lose interest completely in my original reason for being there. I remember thinking, “That does it for me”.

I recall following my husband as he talks and mingles with the group and we all walk outside along a dirt path that winds through woods and houses. I am flying in one of these instances and recall being just above the treetops and wanting to get out of there and explore. This is not allowed. I am to observe the scene and I do not like it.

False Awakening Two

I then “awaken” in my bed and hear water running. I wonder why it is running and not stopping so I get up to investigate and find the toilet has not shut off. I fix it and hear a noise in the kitchen.

There is a golden hue in the kitchen (all the house is unfamiliar). I go out and find my middle son is awake. I tell him to go back to bed.

It gets hazy here but I remember then being in a mall looking for my children after returning from the group of people my husband was with from the other dream. I find them wandering around and frantically gather them up to take them home. There is a man giving out wads of 100 dollar bills. I take one and do not believe it is real and throw it on the floor. On my way home I pick it up and say I will give it to my husband as he might believe the money is real.

When we get home the house is full of those people my husband was with. I tell them to leave. I did not invite them and they can’t just walk in without knocking and asking for entrance.

There is this shorter, middle aged woman who is very familiar there. She gives me a defiant look and resists my orders to leave. I see her as a threat to my marriage as she was the one leading the group and my husband tends to go along with what she asks him to do. Eventually she and the others do leave my house but my husband returns and invites them in. I feel powerless to do anything about it and feel a strange uncomfortable feeling. I do not want to feel this in my own home so I leave and stand outside looking at the front door.

Healing Spheres of Light

I awaken feeling this odd energy over my body. As I come to full awareness, I both sense and see these pulsating, golden spheres on my back and shoulder areas. They seem attached to me and I see one is placed where my shoulder and arm meet and another is six inches higher near my neck. Where they are touching me is an odd sensation, one I do not like.

Fully lucid, I want the feeling to go away. Still in the in-between, I see very clearly the golden spheres attached to grayish looking branches or vines. They are “ripe” and falling off like fruit falls off a tree. The vines seem alive, almost fleshy-like and seem to retreat somewhat when a golden sphere of fruit falls off. It is a very alien-like scene, like something from a Sci-Fi movie, and I withdraw from it, wanting it to go away as I still feel the strange feeling. It feels like I am being zapped with energy and where the energy touches me is a radiating alien energy that goes deep into my Being. I feel invaded but it does not hurt nor do I think I should be withdrawing from it. Yet a part of me does not want anything to do with these spheres.

Recognizing that something is being done to me, I wake fully and immediately question the experience. I see in front of me a hand written note on white paper. As I begin to read it I hear my guide say, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to love others?” I remember the dream and my rejection of the large group my husband so happily embraces. I want to retreat from it; to isolate myself from this “group”. The uncomfortable feeling returns and I say to my guide, “I don’t want to. Do I have to?” I hear, “No, but you will have to learn it at a later date” and I know that if I do not learn it now, that I will in another life. I cringe.

The feeling goes away but my hips feel very sensitive and I struggle to get comfortable. The feeling is not like any I have had before. It kind of feels like my legs were popped out of the hip socket and then replaced. Like I had been rearranged.

To Learn or Not to Learn, That is the Question

Fully awake, I perused my dreams, trying to remember them. What I found is that I began to re-write the dreams. For example, where I was in the car with my husband and he sees the woman, I re-wrote it by seeing instead an army in front of us who we both began to fight. There was a full on assault with guns and bombs. I came out of my reverie knowing I had re-written it and struggled to remember the original. The message was not lost on me, though.

In this life I tend to choose to avoid groups. I avoid making connections with groups. I do this to protect myself but also because groups make me uncomfortable. Last night, I stayed home with my youngest rather than go to a party with my husband. I chose this because it is outside my comfort zone. I have always been this way, mostly. Sometimes when I go to a party I am very social and open. But this is rare. I usually stand or sit far away from the crowd and rarely do I initiate a conversation.

I recognize that my real Self is very sociable. For some reason I chose to be the opposite in this life. I remember lives in which I was social and being social was easy. Not so in this life. The dreams I had last night suggest that I am to learn a lesson about sociability. It is linked to my husband and our marriage. I suspect there is a hidden “lie” that needs to be revealed but in order to do this I must step outside my comfort zone. I must challenge myself in order to “free” myself.

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Dream: You Have Been Transferred

Things have finally started to settle down. I am getting a full 8 hours of sleep at night now and my dreams have returned. Unfortunately, I am still waking up wide awake at 5:30am.

Deceased Loved Ones in Dreams

For the last few nights I have had dreams in which I met up with deceased loved ones. I specifically recall dreams with my father and my grandmother in them. In a dream last night I saw both my grandmother and my father in the same dream but in different parts of it. I remember acknowledging my grandmother when I accidentally noticed her sitting across from me at a table. I said, “I didn’t know you were here!” but I don’t remember anything else we talked about. When I saw my father it was in a similar situation but I knew he was there and was quite comfortable with it, as if he had always been there and not died at all.

I have not seen my father in my dreams or astral in a very long time. I want to say about 10 years. My grandmother just passed away last year and so this was one of the first times I have seen her in my dreams. I have had contact with both of them via my mediumship ability while completely awake and doing other things. My grandmother in particular was quite demanding of my attention after she crossed over. My father was as well (he was my first Spirit connection), but I actually asked my father to stop coming to talk because it caused me so much emotional upset. So he chose to visit me while I was astral projecting or dreaming so that it was less emotionally upsetting.

I have a vague recollection of seeing others who have passed in my dreams lately, too. I think my husband’s boss and wife both have visited me, as well as my great uncle. I remember my great uncle gave me information about my great aunt, my grandmother’s sister passing away soon. I also got information about my own aunt, my Mom’s sister, and health issues she would have.

What is odd is that I had not memory of most of these dreams during the time period in which my sleep was interrupted by the strange vibrations and experiences, yet now they seem to be returning to me. But they are so weird! Why would all my family be visiting me now?

Dream: You Have Been Transferred

One strange dream from last night came with a message.

In the dream, I was with Tom Cruise (this is the second dream with him in it!) and he and I were dating. I remember him being very ambivalent towards me. I recognized this and so was hesitant to get close to him.

He took me to a place where I ran into my grandmother. I remember being in a room of a large building, like a mall, that had a kitchen sink and I was cleaning the dishes and talking to my grandmother about something, kind of like small talk and relationship advice.

Then Tom showed me a cell phone that had a message on it, like a fax receipt. He said, “Look! You have been transferred!” He acted like it was a big deal and showed much excitement about it. When I saw it I felt like it was not good news and was not pleased.

This message stood out to me for some reason, as did the fact that Tom Cruise was there. I don’t have any sexual attraction to the actor and don’t know why he keeps showing up in my dreams.

More Light Codes

When I awoke from this dream, I was seeing light codes. They began in the light, cascading down from above. As I awakened the light turned dark and the code became gray. It flowed down around me like a waterfall. My third eye was pulsing with energy as was the back top section of my head. I have no idea the meaning of the codes. They just looked like squiggly lines, circles, and shapes moving down around me in my vision.

Controlling My Own Energy

One last interesting change: Last night before bed while meditating and connecting with my Companion, I had an unexpected breakthrough.

My typically meditation involves me laying on my back with my eyes closed and focusing on my third eye and heart simultaneously. When I do this, my third eye lights up immediately or intensifies (it seems to be active most of the day now anyway). Then my heart will light up, as if in response to my third eye. Sometimes my second chakra will light up with energy as well. It is at this point that communication with my Team, Council and/or Companion in initiated. This has been my nightly routine for a little over 2 weeks now, maybe longer (lost track).

What is different about last night is that I began to focus on the energy and will it to build up. When I did this there was an intent to connect with my Divinity. My second chakra had been warm and tingly but when I began to focus on building the energy, there was a spreading out of warmth from my heart chakra and I could feel the energy rising up from my root to meet it. My second chakra seemed to vibrate more intensely because of this. All the while my entire head was buzzing. It felt wonderful and was beautiful. I felt my entire being vibrating with warmth and love.

I realized while this was happening that I was doing this and had always been able to do it. It was so easy to move the energy! Unfortunately, my mind began to wander and the intensity subsided.

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Symptoms of Adjustment

I believe the “bone aches” or “body aches” have begun along with some other strange sensations and symptoms.

Throat Movement

Last night when meditating prior to sleep, I felt a new strange sensation. It felt like something was moving around underneath my skin. Like a ball of energy or a knot of something dense. It rolled around and I kept getting images in my mind of a tiny creature trapped under my skin trying to get out. It occurred at the site of my throat chakra and covered the entire area from my collarbone to my chin.

As soon as I noticed it, I got the heebie-jeebies (that’s what I call them). Basically I cringed. I wanted to move but I had a feeling I needed to focus on the feeling and allow it to run its course. I swallowed and felt no change. My body in that small area was literally moving!

Thankfully, it lasted no more than a few minutes. Had it lasted longer that I would have assumed I was dreaming an episode of Fringe. This is by far the most bizarre of all the manifestations yet!

Body Shaking

As the strange throat movement began to subside, I could feel my physical body literally shaking. It was subtle but enough for me to notice. I thought it strange but remembered I had felt it before, though not as intense. The sensation was similar to being in some kind of car that was idling really, really rough.

Ear Ringing

As I was becoming accustomed to the shaking (it really wasn’t scary, just weird), both of my ears began to ring. It was such a high pitch that I almost didn’t notice it except that it felt like there was pressure building in my ears similar to what one feels when going up in an airplane or deep under water. As soon as I noticed it, it diminished considerably. I believe it was because I sent out a thought saying, “Really? Can I go to sleep now?”

Strange Body Ache

As I tried to get comfortable and sleep, I found it near impossible to stay in one place. When I lay on my back, I had this itch to move along with a very uncomfortable feeling in the right side of my body. It was almost like I had restless leg syndrome just in my entire side.

When I lay on either side it was the same. The only time it seemed bearable was when I lay on my stomach.

Ache is not exactly the right word but it works in this instance. The feeling reminded me of trapped energy that made this area of my body feel achy if I didn’t move it. One time when I made myself stay still, the feeling intensified and then seemed to spread out and then diminish. I think this is why I was finally able to sleep.

Time Hiccup

At one point I “awoke” needing to use the restroom. I looked at the clock and it said 10:35pm. “That can’t be”, I thought. I swear it had been hours and hours. Yet I could not recall even falling asleep! In fact, I don’t know where the heck I had been in that hour since I fell asleep. Wait. Did I even fall asleep? I don’t think so. WTF?

There was a strange feeling accompanying this time hiccup. A feeling that I had been somewhere and done something. Amnesia? That is what it felt like. I knew something had happened but I had only blank space where it should have been in my mind.

The only other time this has happened to me was in 1989.

Interrupted Sleep

I awoke so many times last night, I have lost count. Every time I woke up it felt like I had not even slept. Yet the clock showed it had been a couple of hours since my last waking. I again could not remember what I had been doing in that span of time. I knew I had been asleep, though. At least it wasn’t total amnesia!

Memories

Throughout the day yesterday I had random memories surface from this life. Most of them were memories from this lifetimes. Memories associated with pain and upset, all of which I have inspected many, many times. This, I believe, is part of the purging.

  • Memory of when my best friend in high school began acting strangely and disassociating from me. Specifically when she refused to acknowledge me at lunch and sat with a group two levels below us. I sensed she was doing this purposefully and chose to sit alone. This happened for many weeks at the end of Senior year. At the time I was not “hurt” but went to a “safe place” in my mind, convincing myself that I was happy to be alone. Compartmentalization.
  • Memory of my first year in college during registration. My best friend and I had decided to go to the same college. When I saw her there she pretended she didn’t know me and brushed me off.
  • Memory of what it felt like to be married to my ex. It felt alien – like another person was in my body living that life. Yet I could feel what I felt like then. I felt lost and incomplete. So weird!
  • Recognition that I “removed” myself from emotionally intense situations. I did this by denying there was emotion or even a problem.

Little emotion accompanied these memories. Even when I tried to make the emotion come (such as with the first memory), I could not. I asked specifically to be allowed to view the first memory and what led up to it so I could view other viewpoints and see how others perceived me at that time. I have yet to be shown this (that I know of).

Messages

I asked this morning to project and knew that I couldn’t. The reason why was, “You are adjusting”. I asked how long this would take and was told, “One day”. I didn’t believe it.

I kept seeing notes written to me in my in-between states as I was dozing this morning. I also received messages about my progress: 2 of 5 (2/5), 3 of 5 (3/5) and 2 of 10 (2/10). Not sure what these signify.

I asked if the next activation was coming and was told yes. I asked if it would affect me and was told yes. It is to occur in October.

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Limbic System

While sitting on the sofa watching T.V. I had a sudden strange energetic sensation hit me. With the feeling came an all-over-body calm, as if I had taken pain medication and it had just taken effect.

At first I thought it was a download because it was centered around my head, but the sensation was not the same. This energy was wrapped around my head and shot down my spine, ending approximately halfway down my back between my shoulder blades. My previously sore neck was now relaxed and almost numb in comparison and my head felt expanded though it also had a strange numbness about it. The feeling reminded me of when I had a spinal block – my entire body seemed expansive and floaty.

I sat there in awe of the feeling, assuming I was receiving healing and grateful for it. I have never felt such intense energy in my head. I could specifically feel it in each of the lobes of my brain, specifically more intense in my right lobe than my left.

I enjoyed it for a while and then went back to watching my television show.

Then I was hit with an increase in intensity of the feeling and I sent out a query to my guide. “What’s going on?” I received back a feeling that all was well and to expect more of the same.

Focusing back on my show, which was a very serious (I was watching Fringe), I suddenly began to cry for no reason. There was a sudden sadness and a few tears, but they did not make sense – completely out of place.

I sent another query out, feeling a bit confused. I saw in my mind’s eye an individual standing in front of me and off to my left and felt from them that I needn’t worry.

Then I heard simply, “Limbic System“. I knew this system was related to the brain and I suspected it was linked to emotions. Sure enough, upon researching it I found that it was. Hmmm. This area of my brain has been worked on before (amygdala).

Currently

The energetic sensations are still present and I feel like I am a walking balloon-head at the moment. Thankfully, the feeling is calming and I am having fun pretending that I am merely experiencing some kind of spiritual “high” for the time being. The sensation makes me want to lay down and close my eyes and just drift off into dreamland. Of course, I can’t do that. Sigh.

I have to add that there came with this energy a strange feeling that this was E.T. related. When I asked what was going on, I sensed a being standing near me to my left. I could not see him and just assumed he was one of my guides. Yet, I connected seeing him to stories of alien abductions – I felt that what was happening to me was similar. I then immediately began to reject what was happening. I quickly calmed this part of me down, but it is still quite alarming if I think about it. This part of me feels quite violated for some reason. Why do I need to be “worked on” and to what purpose? Why is “someone” messing with my emotions like this?

It literally feels like I have been hit with some kind of energy beam from above. It is shooting into my head and down through my spine. My body is reacting to it like it would some kind of narcotic drug and my emotions are turning on for no reason.

All I can do is trust that all is okay. These sensations, these energy “bolts” from out of nowhere don’t hurt me or cause me to get worse. They seem to make me better and better and better. It really is quite surreal. Like something from a SciFi movie.

I feel like saying, “Beam me up, Scottie”.

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Semi-Lucid Dream: Heart Expansion

I awoke around 5:30am and asked to astral project. I fell back to sleep quickly.

I gradually began to gain lucidity. I was in a shallow, rocky pool with others like myself. We were spread out and discussing the healing processes we had each been through. I felt comfortable but at the same time was not sure who these people were or where I was.

There was an older gentleman near me who I had been working closely with. He was very familiar to me. He had blonde hair, or maybe it was white, but had deep furrows in his brow and laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. I assumed him to be about 20 years older than me.

We were talking about the healing sessions but I can’t recall it in detail now. I felt drawn to the man and so moved in closer to him as we talked. There was a moment when I felt a decision was made to proceed to the next “step” in the process. I remember looking at the water and seeing that we were sitting inside a rocky, clear stream. The boulders were dark and smooth and the water shallow but deep enough to cover our legs as we sat in it. I fiddled with several red bricks that were at my feet and looked out of place. I said, “The bricks moved” as I tried to put them back in place.

The man said something to me and I turned and looked at him. His eyes were smiling even though he wasn’t. I made the “decision” then and fell into his arms. It seemed as if I melted into him and at that moment I didn’t care about my life or the consequences of this decision I made. All I knew is that I would give up everything I had to be right here, right now – forever.

As I held onto him I was approached by a little girl. She had dark, curly hair and was very timid-like. A woman was behind her and I felt she was her guide/caretaker. The little girl touched my knee and spoke to me.

“Quiero la verdad”, she said to me softly. But I heard her also say, “Tengo la verdad” at exactly the same time.

Confused, I caught only the word, “verdad” and knew immediately the translation.

“Truth”, I said aloud. “She said, ‘Truth'”.

I then looked behind her at the woman guardian and felt we needed to invite the little girl to/into us.

Heart Connection

The sensation of the connection I had just made woke me up and I lay there in total bliss as the energy of my heart chakra expanded. I felt the presence of my Companion close and knew something was up, but didn’t care. This indescribable feeling was all I cared about. I also knew the little girl who spoke Spanish was me and that she brought with her “truth”.

I tried to figure out what the feeling I felt was. I had been, still was, willing to give up everything for the feeling. It was similar to intense sexual attraction without the sexual part. It was like I had found my other half and there was no way I was about to let it go. (As I type this my heart is expanding again and the feeling makes me want to cry with joy)

My Companion said to me, “We are One”, and as I worried the feeling would leave he said, “It is always there. It will always be there”.

The feeling intensified and I caught myself holding my breath.

“It is beautiful”, I said to him. And it was/IS.

I recognized then that some of my other chakras were sporadically pulling and filling with the blissful energy as well. I felt my second chakra and my third eye the most intensely, but my root chakra also pulled. As I focused on them, I heard my Companion comment on the thoughts I had. My second chakra is nearly cleared and soon there will be a full alignment and the energy will pour in from the top and the bottom. I could only imagine how that would feel. His comment to that was, “Soon”.

I didn’t wan to move or leave. I said to him, “I don’t want this to stop – ever”.

I was instructed to relax and let go, so I did. An image then came to me of a shelf with hay, similar to the nesting boxes of chickens. I saw myself selecting eggs, but these were no ordinary eggs. They were huge, like ostrich eggs, and each was a vibrant color. I saw blue first and reached for it and held it in my hands. It was larger than my hand! I then became fully lucid and said, “They are the chakras!” as I saw a yellow one, an orange one, and a purple one. I looked for the red one and when I saw it the image vanished and I saw myself surrounded by a circle which was clear on the inside but outlined in solid red.

I woke up fully then, still feeling the amazing sensation expanding from my heart center. I rolled over and our conversation continued, but I don’t recall it all now. I was instructed to lay on my back, so I did. I also recall being told to not resume smoking (I quit my one-cigarette a night a week ago today).

The next part will be in my next entry for this one is too long already.

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More Physical Manifestations of the Shift

With all the changes in energy and their effects upon me, I figure I should post the current manifestations I am having. If you are experiencing similar, please let me know. There is an intense building of energy right now that is creating these intense reactions and I believe this will culminate in the next Starseed activation period. According to my Council, the next Activation will occur with the full moon in the month of October. This does not align with what others are saying about the September full moon but I believe my Council over the predictions I have seen all over the net.

Physical Manifestations of the Shift

  • Anxiety
  • Dizziness
  • Increased heart rate
  • tingling sensations
  • heart chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • third eye energy sensations/pulling
  • root and second chakra energy sensations/pulling
  • spontaneous K rising up to lower heart chakra
  • energy helmet when doing yoga or meditating
  • vision changes – feels like I’ve entered a “dream”
  • sudden calm and/or feelings of joy
  • increase thirst
  • increase and then decrease in hunger
  • sleep disturbances – can’t fall asleep, toss and turn, strange dreams
  • feeling of being “done” with life
  • random thoughts that do not fit and are negative or fearful
  • difficulty controlling random thoughts
  • daydreaming – gazing at clouds or sky or staring into space
  • feeling of being shifted to this time/space from somewhere else
  • moments of intense clarity/knowingness
  • sensitive to loud noises

For me, the current changes are beginning to increase in intensity, especially the random thoughts that pop into my head. These thoughts are along the lines of fears and worries that are seeping out through my subconscious into my consciousness. For example, as I tried to sleep last night, my thoughts immediately went to my middle son and I had horrid images of him being molested and tortured by a man. I tried to push the images out of my mind and heard my Companion ask me if I could accept the possibility of that occurring (this was not that it would but that I need to accept that things like that happen all the time on Earth and it could happen to me). I completely rejected it and said, “I would shoot whoever it was in the head if they tried to hurt my child!” I fought back other images of similar torturous things that are done to innocents as well as a huge lump of grief and despair. I realized in this, though, that I did not have images of my daughter come into my mind, or any female children. With this came the understanding that such things have happened along my time track to my sons and others’ sons over and over and will need to be cleared in order to make this life more productive and end a long cycle.

There are other less intense random thoughts coming in, but I cannot remember them now. I believe the key here is to look at them objectively in order to recognize the lesson they come to teach. These are issues that are rising up to be released and the only way to release them is to take a look at them and allow them to teach you what it is they have to teach.

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Thank Heavens for September!

I don’t know about you, but the last few days have been heavy ones for me. The energy seemed stifled and often I felt trapped in a corner without knowing why. Strangely, I was able to remain pretty calm despite this. I could observe the storm brewing deep inside me and I let it brew but kept it from escaping – for the most part.

Then last night, at about 8pm CST, the storm was gone. The energy of it vanished and I felt myself rise up to a higher vibration almost instantly. It was a night and day experience. For the first time in a while my spirits were lifted and my pessimism replaced with a strange optimism. Since I was tired and preparing for bed, I didn’t try to analyze what happened, I just meditated myself to sleep.

I awoke 2 hours later quite suddenly. I saw that the clock said 10:40pm. “That can’t be right”, I thought. So I checked the clock in the hall. Hmm. It really was 10:40pm.

Exchange

Then next time I awoke it was from a dream in which I was discussing an affair I had with Tom Cruise (really not my type). I awoke in the midst of a strong energy rising through my lower three chakras. It had a strong sexual pull with it but was also quite distinctly something else. The energy, unfortunately, hit my second and third chakras in a painful twisted way, but was not so painful as to make me want the energy to stop rising upward.

I let the energy linger for some time but sent a questioning thought to my Companion. The reply was simply, “Exchange” and I knew that the old energy in these chakras was being exchanged for new energy. In my mind a longer explanation came to me suddenly. This exchange had already occurred in the upper chakras and “pain” from this exchange was simply the new energy breaking through old blockages.

Still very optimistic, I let my Companion know that I would be happy to have more similar experiences. The energy was pleasant and persuasive. I could feel the hope and optimism created by the 2nd chakra and willed it to expand. I have missed it!

Peaceful Optimism

After the exchange experience, I fell into a deep sleep and vivid dreams. Every time I would wake up, I felt to have been asleep for many more hours than I had. There was also a strange, heavy energy settled over my head similar to the energy helmet I am use to. My third eye chakra was also active.

The peaceful, optimistic feeling is still with me. Life no longer seems grueling and difficult like it has felt most of August. Relief came with September and I am truly grateful I persevered to this point.

Note: I began taking Maca root yesterday afternoon. Since this is my first experience taking it, I am not sure if it is the cause of this change in mood or if it is indeed an energy shift. It is likely both, but if it is the Maca then it is my new best friend. 🙂

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Vibrations and a Message

My days have been quite busy because I have decided (based upon a strong nudging) to focus on counseling while at work and to focus on family and my side-business when not at my job. I also felt inclined to visit my local Gold’s Gym and resume my strength training regime which I have slacked on since I became pregnant with my third child. Starting up the 4-day-a-week training schedule will take up much of my free time but allows me time to myself, away from the demands of my stay-at-home routine.

Despite this total submersion into physical reality, there has been a switch flipped it seems and my Companion is much closer and communicative. I barely notice the messages when I am busy but when I have down time the feelings, urges, and messages seem to burst through all at once as if they have been held back by a dam.

Last night the floodgates opened when I was watching T.V. We have Netflix and I, like many others, have found it very convenient to watch episode after episode without much break. Currently the show of choice is Hell On Wheels. I typically go into that wonderful T.V. amnesia period where the show takes me away from my present life and submerges me in a make-believe one. You all know what I am talking about. 🙂

So while in the midst of watching season 2, episode 4, I felt the distinct inner nudge that indicates my Companion wants my attention. When I focused upon it I instantly had a vision of doing yoga. Recognizing this, I sent back the thought, “Okay, after this episode”. Yet when the episode ended I started the next one. Funny enough, the episode wouldn’t play and so I gave up and went to my yoga site.

Vibrations and a Message

After doing a short Shakti yoga routine (intense!) I did some Hatha yoga to wind down. Then I went to bed.

I slept hard and had strange dreams of returning to a place I had not been to in a long time and watching a graduation ceremony of some sort where I congratulated on old friend on her accomplishment. I briefly recall it being Montana but then it did not resemble Montana much.

When I awoke it was suddenly to my body vibrating very intensely. These vibrations were not like those that I get upon exiting my body for an OBE. They were more like my entire physical body was shifting very rapidly and subtly. I have felt these kinds of all-over-body vibrations before, but it had been some time. I wanted to roll over and resume sleep but felt I should not. So I lingered on my back and let the vibrations continue, reviewing my dream messages because I felt I should know what had been discussed.

The vibrations slowed and then stopped and a message came through seeming to come from more than one source. The message was concerning me smoking my one cigarette at night before bed. They said, “You have to stop”. I asked why and was told, “It is interfering with the process” and I saw that the energy was being blocked. At this time my heart chakra began to light up with energy, as if to push the point home.

I asked if the process would continue if I didn’t heed the message and the answer I got was that it would continue but much more slowly. There was a sense of urgency with this response, as if the process needed to move faster, not slower.

I was then told, “You will be called”. I had heard this before and so shrugged it off thinking it just another cryptic message that made no sense to me. There was with it the strange feeling that comes with the other worldly communications I have gotten in the past, so perhaps this is why I shrugged it off – it is quite unreal to me. Yet the message was repeated as if it were very important. I still do not understand what is meant by it since “being called” can mean so many things.

I asked for help in stopping my one cigarette a day habit and then got out of bed. It’s my daughter’s first day of second grade so I could not linger and talk anymore.

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Kundalini Surge

It’s been a long week. I have read that the energies shifted sometime in the middle of the week. I, personally, did not feel this particular shift, at least not until this morning.

Before bed I asked my guide/Companion/Higher Self to please give me some kind of spiritual experience. It has been many weeks since I have had anything significant and I really, really needed something to keep me motivated. I felt asleep not expecting much since I have been asking the same thing pretty much non-stop since this “break” began mid-June.

Kundalini Surge

I was awakened suddenly out of dream by an intense shooting energy that originated in my root chakra and shot up through my third chakra. The energy was different but very obviously K (Kundalini). I desperately wanted it to rise all the way to my heart chakra but awoke before it got there and was saying to my guide, “No! No!”. I am not sure if it was that I was saying “No” to it rising or “No” to it stopping.

The energy itself was pleasantly painful. I hate to call it that but that is the only way to describe it. It felt like my chakras were being ripped apart but in a good way. Kind of like painfully good sex. The only time in my life I have felt similar sensations in my body was during sex but only while pregnant. For men this will be hard to understand but for those of you who are women and have had sex while pregnant you may.

When pregnant, a woman is either highly sexual or loses all interest in sex. For me, I am a mixture of both – I don’t want sex but I am not against it and when I do have it I suddenly am very, very interested. The entire sexual experience is also very different for me when pregnant. Everything is enhanced and there is a heightened sensitivity to touch. The result is a intensely pleasant and somewhat “painful” experience.

Like I said, hard to describe but this is how last night’s experience was.

I lay there a while wanting the energy to rise to my heart. This was an almost desperate desire for the energy to move and I heard my guide close instructing me to actually take the energy and nudge it upward. Unfortunately, I was too distracted because I needed to use the restroom. When I returned to bed the energy had lessened, though there was quite a bit still lingering in my third chakra and my heart and head had also begun buzzing.

As I tried to fall back to sleep I was reminded of a message my guide had given me of how the integration process would be occurring in the bottom three chakras, originating in the root and rising upward. This was the second such rising.

I lay on my stomach for a while and when I did the energy intensified and I could feel the energy balled up where my second chakra is. It is odd to feel it all the way through to the back! This has happened with my heart before, though.

The energy swirled in a tight ball at first but then began to expand upward into my third chakra where it then expanded more. From there it filled the entire bottom of my rib cage. The energy between the two chakras settled along my spine. It was both hot and cold at the same time and seemed about two inches wider than my spine. It also moved haphazardly back and forth along the spinal column. This is the first time I have felt the K resemble the slithering serpent. It was very cool!

I fell asleep still feeling the ball of energy in my third chakra, though much subtler. This morning my hips ache.

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Kundalini Yoga Results

I felt drawn to do yoga last night. I selected a Kundalini yoga class which focused on the sacral plexus (2nd chakra). I didn’t feel anything significant occur when I did it and I found it quite difficult because it invovled a back bend and the breath of fire which I am not accustomed to doing.

Later, I meditated prior to bed. It was the second meditation of the day and I felt the familiar energy helmet almost immediately but it was more intense at the top, back portion of my crown. I fell asleep on my back, my crown still buzzing.

Along with the other two dreams I posted today, I had a very vivid experience in which there was sexual content. I won’t go into detail here but I will say that my second chakra was quite active. The dream itself did not wake me up, which is good, and it was very apparent that the purpose of the dream was to activate my lower three chakras. When I awoke I recognized the Kundalini yoga served its purpose.

For those who are interested, this is the yoga video I did. It is at the intermediate level but I do not think it too difficult for beginners. However, if you are new to Kundalini yoga, you may want to first do the Kundalini Yoga for Beginners video.

https://www.doyogawithme.com/content/kundalini-yoga-sacral-chakra