Category Archives: kundalini

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Energy Surges

Happy 2016 everyone!

I had a busy night last night welcoming in the new year. Although I stayed home and was in bed by 10pm, energetically and spiritually I was a busy woman.

Energy Surges

After I fell to sleep, I recall being bombarded by energy surges to my heart chakra. I knew what was going on while it was occurring, but all that remained was an odd memory of being zapped and talking with someone. I awoke at 10:30 and 12:30pm because of the zaps of energy. Both times that I woke I was extremely thirsty and felt completely exhausted and wiped out, so I didn’t really care to ask what was going on.

4:30 Briefing

I was awakened at 4:30am with tears in my eyes, but I did not know why I was crying. I was also starving and very, very thirsty. As I tried to remember what had happened, I recovered memory of being on board a silver craft of some sort that was hovering mid-air. I recalled very briefly a dream of being inside a silver helicopter, but I knew instantly this was how my human mind was trying to make sense of where I had been. The helicopter opened up from its center and I knew I had transferred from one craft to another. Unfortunately, that is all the memory I retained.

For a brief time I was upset that my memories were being wiped again but with that upset came an intense calm from my heart and a knowing that I was focusing on the wrong thing. An overwhelming amount of calm hit me then and I no longer cared what I had dreamed about. I just knew I would remember what I was meant to, when I was meant to.

Messages

Once fully awake I had a guide I did not initially recognize to my left. I asked who he was and felt he was the one who I call The Dr. This confirmed what I knew had been occurring throughout the night – I had been receiving major healing and adjustment and it seemed the focus was mostly to my heart. I commented, “How much more is there to clear!?” It just seems like the healing to my heart never stops! I was told then, “All wounds heal with time”.

I was then shown an image of the final result the healing and adjustment. I saw golden energy in human form. I was told, “This is you”. Then, I saw a light shoot up through the middle, starting at the feet. As it moved up the energy appeared to grow in size and intensity. When it got to the crown it exploded out in a cascading golden waterfall of energy. I asked what it meant and I was told, “You will continuously be connected to Source”. I asked what that meant and was told, “It is so you can do your work”.

I managed to fall back to sleep and when I woke up an hour later I had memory of something else. I had been talking to The Dr. and he had put both my hands into a cup full of crystals. I could feel the round, smooth cool crystals on my hands. What was interesting is that they were immersed in some kind of gel, a conductor of some sort. How I know this, I am not sure. I asked what had been happening was was told, “It clarifies thought”. I also knew this had been what I was doing on board the silver craft.

What is very cool about all this is that when I woke I knew exactly what I was suppose to do. Not only did I know what I was suppose to do, but I had memories of a review of not only this life but several past lives. The purpose of which was to alert me to a karmic pattern that I could break in this lifetime.

Changes

My Team has also been congratulating me on my progress. This often comes with a question, “Don’t you see how far you’ve come?” or “Do you see how much you’ve changed?” I have been overwhelmed by the intense energy and the holidays so I have not really thought about their questions. However, this morning I am acutely aware of how much I have changed. What I think is the most noticeable is how connected I feel to my purpose and my guidance. I am notorious for flat-out ignoring my intuition. Now it seems my intuition is unavoidable. It seems to almost shout at me and what is bizarre is that I listen and if I don’t listen I am easily swayed. It’s the heart connection. It is like a mind-wiping, beautiful, loving and comforting hug that says, “Remember”. Though my heart is far from being my primary compass, it is quickly shifting in that direction. I am feeling an intense pull to change. It is almost compulsory in intensity and it is coming directly from my heart center. And I know it is only going to intensify.

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Message: Be the Hummingbird

I took the advice given by many of you and focused on taking care of myself and this crazy energy last night. First, I ate a big meal. I immediately felt better. Then I took a hot bath with essential oils – 8 drops of lavender and 2 of Roman Chamomile. I also played music, specifically by Rising Appalachia (thank you KLeigh!). I was in one of my high’s before long and didn’t even mind when all three of my children crawled into the bathtub with me and began splashing.

Afterward I began to lose the high and fall into the exhaustion, but I let it happen and did not resist. My Team has been very close and the message I keep getting is to let go and allow. I went ahead and had some wine and watched some T.V. The whole time I had strange energy sensations all over my body and kept receiving high heart hugs from my Companion. Wonderful and calming. I also, for the first time since these energies began wracking my body, I had a rising of desire from the lower chakras. I pushed it down but it made me smile. I think my blockages are clearing.

I slept very, very well.

Dreams

I almost felt normal before , of course, I began to think that everything that happened to me these last 10 days or so was not real, not true, and I could be normal and move on with my life as planned. This thought was immediately interrupted with a knowing that I knew better than that. Then everything flooded back in and my body was covered in another energy hug. I was told, “You will rest tomorrow and we will talk tonight”. I recognized the energies of my Council of 12 and knew we would talk about contracts. Something felt final about it and I asked, “We are finalizing the contract?” I received confirmation but I joked and said, “Nothing is ever ‘final'” and reminded him of my ambivalence. Instead of humor I received a more serious energy from him. That shut me up and I went to sleep.

Teaching Developmentally Delayed Adults

The first vivid dream I recall is actively teaching adults who were most obviously developmentally delayed. We were doing language and vocabulary activities and I soon realized they were all at very different levels. Some were already able to spell while others couldn’t. I remember directing them to use block letters to spell out an answer to a question. It was like they were toddlers in preschool but some of these individuals were older than me!

I woke momentarily and knew this dream was representative of the various levels of consciousness of those on Earth. It was a bit disturbing to think that so many of us are at the spiritual toddler stage!

Be the Hummingbird

I had an entire dream where I was learning to be the hummingbird. This is symbolic of my mission here. I am being asked to fulfill my mission.

Bus Turned Trailer

Another vivid dream was of my husband and family. I was walking down a dirt road in the country. Tall, green trees and lush grass were all around and the dirt was that orange-red color I remember from my childhood days in east Texas. I looked up and saw my husband towing a white trailer behind him. He was not in a car and the trailer was one that should have been hitched to at ruck. I said to him, “Where’s your bus? Is it broken?” He just turned, smiled and waved at me and continued on. I knew he had our children in the trailer, but I kept going in the opposite direction

This dream woke me up with a start. I knew the symbolism right away. The loss of the bus is significant. Being on a bus or some other form of public transportation is representative of one’s family or group dynamic. In this dream the bus was broken and replaced by a trailer. In recognizing this I saw that a message I have been receiving was coming out in my dreams. My husband and family are moving in the opposite direction from me.

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Messages 

The amount of information coming to me now is extremely high. I have been processing it for some time now. This partly because I am struggling to accept it and partly because I don’t know how to impart it.

Message 1: My mission is to embody the light; to be a beacon of light as well as to ground and anchor the new energies. I am also to activate others and act as a guide. I work with energies in many ways, more than I am aware of in this Earth consciousness.

Message 2: I am being asked to embody the light now. To do this I must drop relationships and connections that do not harmonize with my own frequency. If I am unhappy, depressed, angry, etc then I am not embodying the Light and so not fulfilling my role here. I have to “step up” now. Others are also receiving this message.

Message 3:  When I hit the age of 40 next year things are really going to shift to a higher level of intensity. I have already been warned of this as it will start next summer right before my birthday to prepare me. I am told 40 is a significant age for more than just me. It has to do with spiritual maturity and ability to hold more Light.

Message 4: I was greeted this morning by Eric who is a member of our ground crew. He is living presently in a physical body like me. He showed me a web, like a spider web. In the center the fibers of the web are very close and they get farther apart as it expands. He explained that the web is being extended now. With this explanation I was told that some members of this web are interconnected with me at a very, very deep level. These are the ones in the center. Others a less so and as the web extends outward even less so. Those most connected to me, those with me in the center, are extremely spiritually intense connections.  The others are less intense and more casual relationships. Our strength comes via these connections. The web grows stronger with each connection.

We are building the web now. The center is first and the most important. We will gather on a spiritual level first but eventually in the physical as well. I see large areas of light across the U.S. These epicenters of Light are crucial.

Message 5: I again saw my Companion as non-human in form. Those who read my previous description say he is Arcturian, but I identify him by his energy, not his appearance.

This time I was accepting of his appearance. He is beautiful beyond description! In accepting him, I accepted myself. I looked down at my hand and saw a non-human hand. Three long, thin, blue fingers and one thumb with over sized fingertips. I laughed because I was immediately reminded of a frog. Also with this acceptance I began again to think in terms of We. I have done this before but it had stopped.

We have many names. We take many forms. We are the Many. 

Elohim.

Day of Rest

When I awoke this morning my husband and three children were gone. They are on a camping trip and won’t be back until tomorrow evening most likely.

Day of rest indeed! 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Full-on Kundalini Awakening

I had an entire post written and ready to post this morning but I hesitated and left it. I came back to it just now and it did not feel right so I deleted the whole thing.

Right now I have a sore throat and feel like crap. My energy is still off the charts and it seems not to be subsiding. I was warned it would get more intense but this is beyond intense. No amount of alcohol will shut this off. I feel like a rocket taking off. I just wish I would get to my destination already!

Kundalini Awakening

What I am experiencing is a full-on kundalini awakening. I actually have no doubt that is what it is after this experience the night of December 25th. I have experienced Kundalini before but it was not nearly this explosive or intense. What is happening to me now causes me to question whether what I experienced in the past was even kundalini. This is crazy!

This is what I have been experiencing:

  • Third-eye blazing energy
  • Blazing energy on either side of my nose and behind my ears
  • Heart chakra explosions of energy that bring emotional hiccups that quickly subside. It feels like emotion is flying out of my chest.
  • Heart chakra fire that often feels like my chest is burning or there is a huge inward flowing vortex of energy there
  • Vibrations in my second chakra
  • Shaking or psychic chills as some call them
  • Lower back pain
  • Stiff neck
  • Sore throat
  • More incidences of what I call “enforced amnesia”
  • Depression, lack of motivation or just feeling zoned out
  • High’s followed by lows and/or exhaustion (feel like a manic depressive)
  • Easily overwhelmed
  • Overly sensitive to other’s energy
  • Psychic sensitivity
  • Loss of appetite
  • Increased thirst
  • Dreaming of fire and the feeling of the K energy
  • Extremely high energy causing me to feel restless, I can’t sit still!
  • Inability to stay grounded for very long
  • Solar plexus pain like being kicked in the stomach (gone now thankfully)
  • Indigestion
  • Stomach upset, nausea

Just so you know, I DID NOT ask for this to happen. I did nothing out of the ordinary to bring this energy. It just happened and now that it has there is no stopping it. It will effectively clean out all blockages, I have no doubt. You can tell by what I am experiencing where my blockages are – second, third, and sixth chakras.

I do have other things to talk about, information I brought back with me from the other side, the other dimensions, or whatever you want to call it. I am too tired now to articulate it effectively so I am going to leave it for another day. Going to suck on a cough drop and probably drink some more wine. Ugh.

Am open to advice on what to do with all this energy. Grounding and anchoring it only helps temporarily. Holding crystals, especially rose quartz, causes major explosive energy. Alcohol only numbs it temporarily. Meditation puts me to sleep or sends me somewhere that I promptly forget.

Oh and sex doesn’t work either. LOL

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Timelines are Collapsing

The day was going good and I am still maintaining but it is a struggle to do so. The energies have gone wild! Either that or I have.

I had to go grocery shopping. I didn’t want to and had been avoiding it for over a week. When I got there people were everywhere! Inside I felt overwhelmed but sucked it up and just shopped, focusing on my children and trying to get out of there as fast as I could. I was hit hard by someone’s energy while on the bread isle, though, and it made me feel a wave of despair and a thought of, “I can’t do this anymore. I want out”. This was not my thought!

By the time I got to the checkout line I was more stable and calm but I was receiving warnings from within telling me to protect myself. I am wide open right now for some reason!

Timelines are Collapsing

A strange thing that happened on the way to the store. I suddenly remembered a dream I had a very long time ago. I don’t think I blogged then. It was a very real dream, one of those where I woke up with amnesia for a few minutes.

In the dream I was not married to my current husband. I had instead dated someone else and we had a tumultuous relationship. It was one of those relationships where you feel you have to be together but when you are together you make each other go crazy in all ways. I remember the man vividly – what he looked like, his name, where we met, etc. But I have never met this man in my life! When I woke up I could not remember who I was and was completely confused. Instead the dream was my reality and I was frantic.

When I remembered this dream I also thought I had written it down or told someone but I knew this was not the case. I don’t even know for sure if it was a dream. Maybe I just spontaneously remembered a parallel life?

Confused by this and the crazy energy that seems to smash into me whenever I leave my house, I asked for help. I heard,”Timelines are collapsing”. What? What does that mean?

I do not wish this weirdness on anyone. I am managing just fine. I am surprised I have not lost my mind. LOL Somehow I know I can handle this.

My third eye is HUGE right now and my heart feels like a magnet. I sense that my psychic abilities are in overdrive. My sensitivity to others is extremely high right now. This seems like a return to when I first awakened. Such heightened perceptions. Such knowing. And such chaotic energy. Yet I feel like I am going to be okay. I can handle this. This is part of why I am here.

Weird! hahaha

 

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Raging Fire

The Kundalini has returned and this time with a vengeance. She is all fire this time around and not letting me wimp out apparently.

I was instructed to “anchor my energy” last night before bed. I saw what I was to do and so did it. I sat cross legged and put my hands over my heart like Bashar does and then set out anchors all around me – four of them. I was told the energy is only going to intensify and to be ready for it.

I slept well last night but it was during the night that the fire in my heart chakra spread to my lower chakras. Thankfully, I remained asleep through it all but I was lucid enough to know what was going on.

Dream: Raging Fire

It just so happens the main dream of the night had to do with fire. In the dream I was at my Mom’s house in the back yard at the exact point where I saw the UFO when I was 12 years old. There was a man who appeared to be young, maybe 14. He had  dark hair and tan skin and was either wearing a body suit or was completely naked. There was a fire all around us. I don’t recall how the fire was started but I had a part in starting it and me and the man were tending it together.

All was fine until the fire jumped to the top of a tree. I panicked and yelled at the young man to get a water hose. He smiled at me and took what seemed like a very long time to get the hose. Then he just held the hose, water barely dripping from it, and smiled at me. I felt he was taunting me in the dream and got desperate saying, “We have to put it out! We have to put it out now or it will spread!” He just kept smiling and standing there with the hose. I saw the fire spreading across the tree tops and was completely mortified.

The Fire is Alive!

Throughout the above dream and most of the night I had a raging fire in my mid-section. I could feel it moving. It felt alive and the more it moved, the more intense the sensations got. I have many memories intertwined with the fire dream of trying to satiate the energy that was moving inside me. I was not allowed, though, and recall distinctly being told this energy was different and to “leave it alone”.

To describe the energy is almost impossible. It is like burning, raging desire. I was literally squirming in my dream from the intensity of it. It was extremely raw and uncomfortable but at the same time passionate and tender.

Busy Night

When I awakened at 4am my entire lower back hurt around where my kidneys are located. My heart was still active and I had an intense energy mask around my eyes and forehead. Memories of the fire were very strong and it did not take me long to figure out what my dreams were about and what had been taking place during the night.

First off, I had visited the “ship”, the big one, the Seraphim. I recall being in a circular room with brownish-green walls. I could see panels in the walls that interlocked almost seamlessly and knew I had been in this room to be “worked on”. I don’t think anyone was actually present in this small room. It seemed like a chamber of some sort rather than a room actually. I believe the color of the walls was a reflection of whatever healing was taking place – like my current energetic imprint colored the walls.

In another memory I was joining a group of individuals. There were not many, maybe three, and they were huddled together. What is intriguing about this group is that they had no shape. Instead they were pure energy. Their energetic signatures were complementary – purple, aqua, blue. My first thought was, “They make a rainbow of indigo”. So beautiful!

There was one individual who resembled a purple or Indigo flame. He was spectacular and I was intensely drawn to him despite seeing the other two energy beings next to him. I say “Him” because I knew somehow his energy was masculine. My memory stops here, though, and I feel I was “removed” for consult.

Rebirth

When I awoke this morning I had an explanation of the process that I am going through. My Companion keeps telling me, “You are being reborn”. I awoke knowing this to be true. I remembered right away that in my dreams last night I was a child, probably only 7 or 8 years old. I instantly knew this is why my sense of humor has been so good lately. Children are playful and joyful and so have I been this last week despite all the strange changes taking place.

I also know that this process is the rising of the Kundalini and that it is literally burning through my blockages. I have had K energy for a while, so I am use to it, but this is unlike anything I have ever experienced. This is powerful beyond measure. I feel as if my body is being ripped apart from the inside but the “pain” is pleasant and intoxicating.

The reason I am experiencing such high high’s and then hitting exhaustion is because the amount of energy that is pouring into me right now. I can’t sit still for very long and eventually my body can’t take it and exhaustion sets in. This cycles through the day and I feel like a manic-depressive – high, low, high, low. The mania is wonderful. The lows are tolerable.

I am told I can do nothing to stop the process. I can only help it along.

Signs

I know this post is long, but I have to include this just because it is so synchronistic. Yesterday, while visiting my Mom’s, my daughter brought me a snake skin she had found on the ground right next to me. I had been in a daze, trying to somehow channel the intense energies running through me, so did not see it. She put the snake skin on my lap and said, “Look Mom, a snake lost its skin!” I saw it and was impressed but let her drop it on the ground at my feet.

 

 

 

 

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Dream: Chapter 1 of 7

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I went to be early but was instructed to focus on my heart, which was still blazing, and had a massive expansion of energy through all of my chakras one by one. It literally felt like each of them was turned on. I mentally saw their knobs being turned. Root, second, third, throat, third-eye, crown. I thought I was going to pop right out of my body it got so intense but then it stopped abruptly. So it is no wonder I couldn’t sleep. My energy was extremely high and I was riding a wave for most of the night.

I managed about 4 hours only. In that time I recall little but I did have one very vivid dream.

Dream: Chapter 1 of 7

I was with the young man who I saw in a previous dream. He is an apprentice, or at least that is the best word to describe what he is doing. In the past dream he was with me and several others but I had a very strong bond with him. I coddled him like he was my child – very protective. This young man had been tagging along to “learn the ropes” but was not doing any actual work in that dream.

In this dream he and I were alone. He was showing me something he was writing. He was writing it with me but he was the only one who had done the writing thus far. I saw very clearly, “Chapter 1” written at the top of the page and saw an entire hand written page below. I don’t know what it said. I was more focused on the the title because he said there were 7 chapters total. I remember being surprised and not knowing anything about this book. I was so surprised that it woke me up.

Third-Eye Intensity 

I am still experiencing the intense heart chakra energy. Since I have no words to describe it well enough I am just going to call it a “fire” as it seems to burn inside my chest. I don’t think it is going away any time soon. I am spending my time outside whenever I can and keeping busy. Every once in a while I have to take a break and focus on my heart until it passes.

For about a week I lost my third-eye activity. I had been experiencing it non-stop for many weeks along with heart and crown activity to a lesser degree. This morning, upon waking, it was back and so was my Team. It has been on and off through the day along with occasional energy surges in my throat and solar plexus.

The third-eye activity tends to intensify when I am thinking something that is truth. It is validation. I didn’t realize how much I had been relying on it. I have missed it! It is a comforting addition to the heart chakra fire.

 

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Tough Day

I don’t have time to go into much detail and I’m not sure I could anyway, but today has been probably the toughest day for me ever. I mean it.

I don’t call friends for help. I did twice today. Twice. It helped some, but didn’t really give me any answers. I don’t know what the <expletive> is going on but it is NOT funny.

When the intensity was at its peak I was begging and pleading with my Companion to take it away. He told me to focus on my heart. Yeah, well that made it more intense since it was coming from my heart to begin with.

I did focus there, though, since I couldn’t really do anything else. And the answer I got was, “You need this to Remember”. Okay. Thanks.

My day didn’t start out like this. My heart center has been non-stop with energy for about three days now, but nothing unbearable. I could easily forget about it by keeping busy, which I did all morning. But around 2:30pm, when I was preparing something in the kitchen, it hit full force. It nearly knocked me out of my chair.

I won’t call it a bolt of lightening but it is similar in intensity. I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t really do anything about it. I finished what I was doing and went outside to sit in the sun. The whole time I am asking my Companion to make it stop, to take it away, to fix it, or whatever. Can’t really remember now. It lasted over an hour. That’s when I caved and called out to my friends. Thankfully both were there.

I understand that we are being reUnited with members of our soul group now. I understand that I will be asked to do things that are outside my comfort zone. I get it. But this feels like I am being “summoned”.

I would much rather have my Companion yell “Get out now” like he did the first time.

Please pray for me. Honestly, I don’t know what else to say except that I need help getting through whatever it is that is happening to me. I don’t think healing would help, so hold back on that. I fear it would make the intensity worse.

 

 

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ReUnion

If you haven’t noticed, there is an M-Class Flare hitting the Earth right now. The K-Index has been in the red for more than 24 hours now. Only just this past hour has it dipped into the yellow.

I was bragging last post about how wonderful I was feeling. Well, I’m not feeling so grand today. I have had a headache since last night when the K-Index was at a 6. I also struggled to sleep. In fact, I had been doing my nightly meditation and was brought to full awareness by my son crying. I thought, “Is it morning already?” I looked at the clock and it was closing in on 11pm which means I had only been meditating half an hour. Where did I go?? Somewhere where I was deeply engrossed in my work, that’s for sure! Ha!

There has been a strange shift in all my energy sensations since last night as well. At first it was a blazing, wide open, blissful feeling heart chakra explosion that shot up through my crown chakra – thus the happy, giddy, “I love life” feeling I was having. However, it quickly turned into a massive front forehead headache and neck ache and this morning and the heart sensations are spreading across my chest but not blazing. They are my more normal heart sensations, the kind that often send me into panic-attack mode because of the intense pull inward. My third-eye and crown are still active but the headache makes it hard to enjoy. In fact, I suspect my headache is the result of some kind of blockage of adjustment of energy in my head area.

So intense alignment in progress for me for sure.

It feels as if my Companion has gone into hiding – he says he “stepped back” to allow me to process everything and is “not allowed to interfere”. Um thanks! Why does that always happen during times when I feel I need his guidance the most??

He did appear last night, passing me a piece of paper saying, “You have a message” but I don’t have a clue what the message was. I then saw the Southeastern U.S. region and knew I would be traveling there again. Not sure why I am assigned there when I am all the way in Texas!

ReUnion

I will provide further data on the “reUnion” information that I keep getting. Yes, it is a “reUnion”, emphasis on the Union part. Apparently this gathering is bringing together different factions that have previously been out of contact with one another here in the physical. I have heard of similar reUnions in the past but have never reunited with anyone (that I know of ).

For me, this connecting with my group is quite a bit out of my comfort zone. I am comfortable in my little bubble. I have only one connection in the physical (who is on her way here to visit btw!) who I know is part of my group. Other than that, I am a loner, doing my “work” on my own in isolation. But now I am told this “no longer applies”. I feel a push to pick up and leave this location. It is subtle right now, suggesting a move is in the future but not imminent.

From what I can tell, others like me – perhaps members of my group only but I don’t know – will feel a “call” to join up. Not just online, though this applies as well, but in the physical face-to-face. The urges will be strong sometimes and I am told “do not be alarmed”. We do not have to act, we have free-will as you know, but I feel in these cases resistance will only create struggle and to “go with the feeling”.

So far for me I am doing okay with all this new information despite my Companion heading off to watch from a distance. I am too distracted by the intense chakra activity to get caught up in future questions.

Happy solstice energy surge everyone! Ride the wave the best you can.

 

 

 

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Transmutation of Sexual Desire

It has come to my attention of late that there is an issue I am struggling with. It is specifically related to incarnating in the physical. Apparently this is a common issue among Star-people (Starseeds).

Transmutation of Sexual Desire

As energy-beings (Spirit or whatever you want to call it), those of us newly experiencing life in an Earth body amid limited and overly rigid belief systems, typically struggle to adjust to life on this planet. Though I do not completely feel “new” to this (I have incarnated here previously without much success in overcoming these limitations), there is much memory returning to me in regards to adjustment.

Of the most difficulty for me in this life is understanding and overcoming the limitations of human sexual desire and reproduction. In a nutshell, it is very difficult for me to override intense sexual attraction and desire for the opposite sex. I am currently in the pattern of resisting such physical attractions by simply eliminating them altogether. I have done this out of recognition of how destructive such tendencies can be. Yet these intense feelings are resurfacing and I have been struggling with them once again.

In this case, the feelings are arising for people I have never met in the flesh yet have a strong spiritual connection to. I sense their energy, their spark or signature, and it is familiar to me in a very deep and attractive way. I am struggling because when I sense their energy my physical body responds in its natural way. It perceives the attraction and so responds in kind. Then I, in recognizing this is inappropriate, promptly switch it off.

Yet I am being encouraged to not turn it off but to transmute it and so allow it to fully express itself in me. I recognized this morning that I have been learning how to do this during the night which is why I get teased in my dreams via “sexual” advances and jokes by my friends (not funny!).

It was explained to me that my familiarity and thus reaction to these kindred spirits whom I have never met in person is what is initiating the energy which triggers my physical reaction. The key is to not mentally shut it off but allow it to run its course while effectively controlling the physical components.

I am not sure I know how to do that but mentally I have a block to doing this. I feel I am somehow being untrue to my husband even though I logically know this is not the case.

The desire, I am told, is one I am familiar with and when asked to focus on it, I realized that what I am feeling is indeed something else altogether than what I thought it was. My Companion called it love, but love unlike in the human sense, as humans typically associate love with sex (ie love=sex) because this is how reproduction is accomplished.

Thankfully I am not stressing over this new development (or not so new really). I just need to withdraw my conditioned human response. This is a totally new, wonderful experience I am not allowing myself to have because of something that does not apply!

What It’s Like

How does it feel? The first inklings of the feeling (this is all that I have allowed) are similar to how I have  felt when meeting someone I had a strong attraction to in the physical. However, the feeling hits me in the heart center and this wonderful warmth spreads out that makes me lose my breath and causes me to want to melt into the ground. It is scary in some ways as it makes me feel like I will lose control. This is usually when I promptly put an end to it. I am told this feeling, if allowed to expand, will bring a much more beautiful experience. I have felt this before in this physical body (yes but by accident) and so I know what it feels like. I will say it is indescribable but is along the lines of pure ecstasy.

I do want to experience it again but there is such fear connected to it. I hate that my physical experiences have created this barrier for me. No wonder my friends in spirit think its funny. Sigh.

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Manifestations of the Shift: Update

I have had a strange feeling this entire week. I do not know how to describe it other than to say I feel like something is coming, like on the verge.

I wanted to update you all on what I have been experiencing energetically and physically.

  • Almost constant third-eye activity, sometime intense
  • Heart chakra activity brought on at will with just a thought or intention
  • Second chakra activity – warm, buzzing, pleasant feeling
  • Strong connection with guide/HS, constant
  • HS connection accompanied by intense third-eye/heart/second chakra buzzing and warm energy that spreads from heart outward (wonderful)
  • Communication from HS integrating with everyday thoughts, as if streaming in continually and bringing a strong knowing unlike before
  • Energetic healing on all levels occurring day and night
  • Alignment between heart and mind on-going
  • Faint/dizzy feeling coming on without notice; tends to accompany a semi-trance state that I go into without recognizing I am
  • Tendency to hold my breath when receiving communication from Team (could be bringing on dizzy spells).

Overall I feel like my day and nights are merging; as if I am now living in a state that once I only experienced at night. In other words, I feel to be in the in-between, or very close, all the time. This sometimes leaves me feeling unreal or dream-like, but even this feeling is diminishing.

The constancy of the energy in my third-eye and heart is becoming a new norm for me. I have never experienced such strong sensations in either chakra all day every day like this ever. It comes with a feeling that this is how it is suppose to be, how we humans are meant to feel – energetically connected all.the.time.

I won’t say it is a blissful feeling, but it a comforting one. A constant reminder that I am not this body but a spiritual being and that I am not alone. I am never alone but joined with a larger part of myself at all times. In this I feel more whole and accepting of things. I experience being both the Experiencer and the observer at the same time.