Category Archives: kundalini

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Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead (Kundalini)

The energy shifted yesterday afternoon putting me in a not-so-good mood. I went to bed very grumpy and snapping at my kids. I also had problems with focusing on more than one thing. For example, while driving, my son was jabbering away about something – very happy – and I struggled to focus on driving and him at the same time. I felt on the edge of losing it and my eyes would not focus well either. It was really weird!

At bedtime I had a glass of wine to settle my nerves. I knew another energetic surge was coming.

Lucid Dream: Raising the Dead

I was inside a large, open house laying in a bed. To my left was a very ornate coffin with the lid closed. A woman, the caretaker I presume, walked past preparing to shut down for the night. I was uncomfortable with sleeping next to the coffin. I swear I saw it shake and kept wanting to open the lid.

I told the woman, “I can’t sleep next to a coffin. Is there somewhere else I can sleep?” She said, “Certainly. You can sleep over there.” She pointed to an adjacent room. I saw a nicely made bed with yellow covers and feminine design.

I went to the new bedroom but noticed there was no wall between the rooms which meant I was still sleeping next to the coffin! I saw the foot of the coffin was very close to the bed and again I thought I saw it shift like someone was alive inside! This totally creeped me out.

I went to the restroom to get ready for bed. As I was sitting on the toilet a very large black man opened the door. I tried to hide myself (I was totally naked) but couldn’t completely. The man reacted with surprise and then did not leave but just stared at me. I got a weird feeling when this happened.

He approached me and I froze. I was overcome with mixed emotions. On one hand I was completely drawn to him, on the other I was terrified. He was the complete opposite of the type of man I would be interested in yet a part of me was drawn to him for that exact reason. He was very large – at least 6’5″, and bulging with muscles. He was also either naked or close to it. I just remember seeing his upper half and face. Just being next to him made me feel very, very small.

The closer he got to me the more emotion I felt. It was that split feeling all over again! I felt the repulsion/attraction and began to think, “I can’t do this. I’m married!” Eventually I started saying this out loud, as if saying it would somehow fix everything.

This is when I became lucid. At this point he was face to face with me and I was squirming while also not able to move. I felt paralyzed! All of my lower chakras were blazing and I was overcome with the most intense desire I have ever felt and it was not letting up – it was escalating! The energy was moving up, up, up and my heart was catching fire. I had no idea what to do. I was completely caught up in the desirous feeling while also screaming out, “I can’t! I’m married!!” over and over. I laugh thinking about it now but at the time I was totally freaking out.

I remembered being instructed to focus on my heart when I was feeling fear so I tried that. Problem was that my heart was caught up in this desirous fire that was enveloping me. I don’t recall thinking about that, though. My only thoughts were that I was being unfaithful. At the same time I was trying to convince myself that it was okay and my husband would never know (LOL!).

So what did I do? I threw out both of my hands and began to focus on the palms of my hands. I could barely do this, though, because the man had completely embraced me and we were wrapped around each other – braided into one another! We were completely blending, braiding, into one another.White and black. Black and white. Like Yin and Yang.

The last thing I remember is seeing that both of my palms had vortexes of energy spiraling in them. They looked like they contained tiny, rotating galaxies! I could see the sparkling stars swirling in them!

2000px-Yin_yang.svgAfterward

The spirals in my palms woke me up. When I awoke the energy was still coursing through my lower three chakras and my heart was settling down. I literally woke up squirming. The energy was so intense that my body was involuntarily jerking and swaying back and forth. I yelled out, “I want to go back!” This surprised me. WTF? Here I had been both terrified and electrified and wanted more? Hahaha

The energy began to settle after a bit. My heart continued to pull with energy, though.

I wondered why I keep resisting. What was I afraid of? This is not the first time I have reacted in such a way to the advances of a “man” in my dreams. Something about the energy rising terrifies me. With my wondering came memories. Past life memories.

The one that was most pronounced was from a life when I had been a child slave in the U.S. I was about 12 years old and a group of white men gang raped me. As each would take their turn they would place a wood plank over my throat to keep me from screaming out. My windpipe was crushed. I almost died but I didn’t.

The other memory was of being hung in the Middle Ages. I had been male and caught fornicating.

My throat chakra began to blaze when these memories hit me. I heard from one of my guides, “These memories/lives will clear.” Okay.

I looked at the clock and it was 3:30am. I spent the next hour or so thinking about the experience and the symbolism. The coffin was especially interesting to me. I was scared of it. I think it was me inside the coffin. Part of me feels “dead” and I believe the entire experience was meant to get me to realize that I am literally being born again.

I also wonder – what will happen if I don’t resist the raising of this energy? It was so unbearably intense. So intense that I felt I would die from it but at the same time I felt that I would experience something akin to breaking into a million pieces of me or expanding into a million pieces of me. This would bring an ecstasy beyond words. Wow.

God help me.

 

 

 

 

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ReUnification Begins

I was awakened around 5:30am (didn’t look at the clock until later) by a conversation I was having in the in-between. I saw very distinctly two words and also heard them. One word was “Traveler” and the other was “Wolf”. The words that went with them were “We are Travelers”. The two words were connected by a golden thread, as if they were one in the same.

This woke me for I remembered suddenly that wolves had been brought up many times previously but I had forgotten all about it. I remembered distinctly seeing a lone, gray wolf who was looking for his pack and feeling the pack was significant. I had meant to look up the symbolism of the wolf but had totally forgotten all about it. This was a couple of weeks ago!

Thessalonian

Now wide awake, I felt a presence and knew a member of my Team was with me. I didn’t immediately recognize him as I was tired. I drifted into the in-between.

Soon I was seeing something very distinctly alien in my vision. I saw immense arches layered over arches that were a bluish-gray in color. They towered hundreds of feet into the air. Behind them was a fuchsia and purple sky with light gray clouds and streaks of yellow throughout. I recognized this place instantly and it brought me out of the in-between.

Fully aware now, I still sensed the presence and exclaimed to him, “I know that place! Where is that? What is it!?”

I knew and heard the answer at the same time. These arches are some kind of communication tower, or relay station. The location was difficult to come by but I heard Vega as a reference point. Whatever it is it is absolutely beautiful.

Wide awake now, I began to receive information very quickly and it was quite overwhelming. I tried to grasp it mentally but could not. I remember images of very square looking objects, like craft, which were white and massive. I was only able to bring back one word – Thessalonian. I do not know if this is the name of the craft or if I am meant to read the books of the Bible.

Rather than read both books of the Bible, I looked up summaries of 1st Thessalonians and 2nd Thessalonians. They both address the second coming of Christ. I find it interesting that both books say “Christ will return in the clouds”. I should probably read the actual books, though.

Thoroughly stunned, I tried to settle my energy and relax into my heart. My mind was going a million miles an hour so it was difficult. However, I was able to achieve this. That is when it got really strange.

ReUninification

The presence who I had been with must have moved in closer because I was suddenly aware of seeing him face to face. His head was very large and he was most definitely of another world. I could see that the head seemed to balloon out on either side, like the hemispheres of the brain were emphasized. His eyes, nose and mouth were very small in comparison. His coloring was light, I want to say it was grayish but it was difficult to tell as I totally freaked out and lost the image.

I did not freak out from what I saw as much as I did from what I felt. When I saw him I also felt him. A massive amount of energy began to move up my body from my feet and wrapped around me as it progressed upward. I had a double reaction to this. The first was complete recognition and overwhelming love and the second was complete terror – the kind that either glues you to one place so you cannot move or makes you run as fast as you can in the other direction.

While this split reaction is occurring I am experiencing every kind of emotion imaginable and feeling warm energy wrap around and fill my root, second, third and heart chakras in succession. With each chakra I felt the corresponding emotions related to it. And though I could feel each chakra one by one I also felt them all at once. The emotions are indescribable and all the while I am feeling both overwhelming love and frantic terror at the same time!

The most memorable feeling was this complete, unavoidable desire to be with this Being – to try and crawl into his arms and then into him. This is occurring along with all the physical and energetic sensations. I cannot run but I desperately want to. And I am WIDE AWAKE.

Just when I think I cannot take anymore of it, the energy withdraws. I am not relieved, though. I want the feelings to stay. Whatever happened left me wanting for more. I could care less about the terror as it was so small in comparison to everything else.

And I knew who the Being was after this. Without a doubt it was my Companion. And I remember that he once told me that he would integrate with me from the lower chakras “next time” (he had done so from the upper ones prior, this was in May last year).

This is part of the ReUnion of Us. Wow-wee is all I can say. Damn! And at the same time I am terrified still. I want to run, but to where? It’s not like I can run from him!!!

And this ReUnification is not over. There will be more.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I was crying through the entire energetic exchange. They were mainly tears of joy.

 

 

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Heart Sensations Return

I’ve begun this post several times and each time deleted it in its entirety. I’m not sure exactly why, though.

There has been a strange energy today following me around. It is not bad or good, just shifty, like the energy is about to take a leap forward. I checked the K-index and there is an active storm but nothing that would normally cause me to notice.

Perhaps it has to do with what happened last night. Last night is what I originally was trying to post about and kept deleting. I will summarize and just say that I had some intense heart chakra sensations. These didn’t hurt. In fact, they were the good kind and went all the way from front to back. It was like someone placed a tube right through my heart center and energy poured through it.

The heart sensations came with specific thoughts and knowingness. It happened at a time when I was speaking with someone, a kind of counselor. I was telling her about things I could not sort out in my life – very personal things. This is when the heart sensations kicked in. I was lucky I did not burst into tears. I was able to get out of the conversation in time. Then I was just in shock for a while. I had not expected my heart to burst open like that. I had done such a good job of shutting it down – or so I’d thought.

Then, after I returned home and the kids were in bed my heart started doing it again and I was overcome with an intense shaking all over my body. I am familiar with the feeling. It is something I had to deal with every time I did a mediumship reading and made contact with Spirit. It is like their energy is too much for me. It can get so bad that my teeth chatter – thankfully it did not get that bad last night. The shaking can also happen when I am talking with another person about deeply personal things. I have never quite figured out why it happens, though.

I wondered why I was having the shaking. I was not tuning into Spirit and not talking to anyone, so it made no sense. I felt my Team near and I wondered if maybe it was coming from them. As if to answer my question, I heard my guide ask me to focus on how I felt. When I did this, I could sense a blockage at my heart level. I was told that I was resisting the energy – the heart energy – and that I have been avoiding something.

And then the shaking was really bad.

And then it was just…gone as was the heart energy.

When I awoke this morning my dreams were instantly gone as soon as I tried to recover them. Frustrated, I tried to feel what happened in the night and knew I had agreed yet again to something, but I don’t know what. My heart chakra lit up again but faded not long after. With it, I was asked if I was willing to accept what it was telling me. I said I was, but honestly I am not sure about any of it. I don’t know what it is telling me, or at least I don’t think I do. Honestly, I am afraid of knowing.

Right before I got out of bed my Team again reminded me of the upgrade that is soon to come. I was told this time that it may frighten me. Then I saw a visual of light pouring down into my crown chakra and going all the way down through all my chakras and into my feet. From the looks of it, it didn’t seem so bad, but then if they say it might scare me, well, it probably will.

It has me wondering now if the strange feeling I’ve had all day has anything to do with this coming upgrade. I guess I’ll find out.

Meet-Up

There is one other thing. A group I am a part of on FB is planning a meeting in Mt. Shasta, California in May. I have been following the preparations from the beginning. Yesterday I decided, out of the blue, that I should go. I told my husband about it and, strangely, he had no objections. When I communicated today with the contact about arranging my flight my heart chakra was blazing with energy. Even typing about it now makes my heart light up. I got thoroughly excited about going and my energy went sky high.

Then, in the afternoon, I began to doubt my decision about attending because I only know the people who will be there via the internet. I also began to panic over something very odd. I had this strange feeling that if I went I would not want to come home. Then an internal panic button went off and I got a strange split in two feeling. It was really odd and I almost thought I was about to go OOB right then and there.

After this happened the heart energy ceased – well up until now anyway. I am wondering if this is any indicator of what it is that I am not willing to know/accept. Part of me thinks it is and when I try to consider it, the fear returns. All I want to do is cuss a million cuss words just considering that possibility.

 

 

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Walk Along

Yesterday my crying episodes and intense grief lifted and turned into a wonderful, happy high. I spent the evening with family and had a good time. I felt normal again. Sigh of relief.

I had an interesting experience in the middle of the night. When I woke at 3am my heart chakra was wide open, exploding with a beautiful love energy but there was still a pulling sensation that would sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable. I was also being washed in energy hugs from my Companion. I wondered, “What’s going on?”

Dreams

It was then that I remembered my dream. In it, I had been having a discussion with a woman who resembled me but was very frantic and frazzled in her appearance. She had a familiar energy, though, like family. I don’t remember much of the interaction except that the woman was killed by a horse who kicked her in the head. I remember being invited to continue her work. I was not alone. My Companion was there with me.

Then I was a baby. A little, tiny baby swaddled up and just laying there helplessly. Innocent, pure – without memory or experience. The image of this baby and the feeling was very vivid.

Connection

The dream itself sparked a memory but this memory came from my heart and I can’t really put it into words. I knew that this was a recollection of the walk-in experience, though I really didn’t want to talk about it as it still feels odd to me to even use that word. Yet my heart flooded with such energy confirmation that I could not avoid being overcome by the love energy. I felt like I would just melt into my bed.

The energy in my heart just continued to expand and I associated it with my Companion. I knew this love energy in my heart was Us but I didn’t understand it and why it was happening.

The heart surge has a way of pulling me into the in-between when I let myself fall into it. This is what must have happened because the next thing I knew I was talking with my Companion. He asked me, “Will you marry me?” This made me laugh and brought me out of the in-between, back to the intensely expansive heart explosion.

Of course I said, “Yes”. It felt appropriate and also like there was some kind of agreement connected to it. Like a pre-arrangement for our combined evolution.

He said to me then, “We will grow together” and I again saw the little baby in my mind’s eye. It felt like we had been reborn together. There was a feeling of newness and curiosity.

It was explained to me then that we are ascending together, he and I, and that this is part of the process. He keeps telling me the intense purging, crying, and emotional rawness is all part of this process. It is letting go of the old soul – the walk-out. Releasing her. There was also a feeling of this being a process involving the spiritual “bodies” – moving through them, clearing and aligning them. Embodiment also kept coming up. I could see layers that were these “bodies” for lack of a better word. I don’t fully understand it but my heart tells me it is a normal part of the process, whatever the “process” is.

Walk Along

Finally, he referred to a group of three light beings hovering near the far left of my vision. They were far back so I only noticed them when he referred to them. He then said, “Walk along” and I knew he was asking if these Beings had permission to walk along with me/Us through this experience. I didn’t know what to say. So I asked if it meant they would just observe and felt this was right but that they would also contribute. They would contribute part of themselves to assist me. Like give me some of their energy but this doesn’t accurately describe it. I agreed. Why not? I can use as much assistance as I can get!

I felt curious about this “walk along” idea. I vaguely recall reading about it in Walk-Ins Among Us by Yvonne Perry. I visited her website and read this:

A walk-in can also be a companion soul in spirit form walking along with an embodied soul. A walk-in can be a fragmented aspect of a soul coming home and reuniting with the soul essence in a body. It can be a blend of soul essences in which two or more souls inhabit a body simultaneously. These may rotate in and out of the “driver’s seat” as needed to accomplish a task.

I find it interesting that she refers to the walk-in as a companion soul walking along with an embodied soul. This feels like my experience 100%. I feel the term “companion” is especially relevant. That is how Steven refers to himself – as my Companion Traveler.

I suspect that now that I have agreed to allow these light beings to walk along with me, that I will notice when they are present. But I don’t know. I guess I will see? 🙂

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Surprise! You are Love

I just unexpectedly got a taste of what living from the heart means on a very personal level. I am sitting here flooded with energy yet again. Literally shaking. This time it was from an interaction with my own husband. Talk about surprise. Ha!

I don’t often share personal things on this blog. My old one was different – almost too personal. I swore I would not go there in this one, but it seems that is the direction I am being taken.

I have been, for a while, distancing from my husband. Why, I am not sure. Perhaps I am afraid of something or worried I will get too caught up to ever get out. Whatever the reason, our intimacy is practically nil. This also happened in my last marriage. I assumed I was a jinx. Maybe I am not capable?

Tonight I realized that I have never really made love. Never. I know, sad, right? But what I mean is that I never allowed myself to connect through my heart in intimate situations. I am told I was too blocked, so it was not possible. I am told this is the case with the majority of people on Earth. We have learned that sex is via the sexual organs. That’s it. What a crock of shit.

I discovered quite by accident what intimacy really is, can be. It scared me and my solar plexus knotted up horribly. Oh well. I learned what I needed to learn. I am capable of so much more than I realize. The love I am is all-encompassing. I thought I had no love for my husband anymore, yet there it was, blazing out of my chest! Where did that come from? 🙂

I can’t get the energy to settle now. It is similar to when I use to give mediumship readings. Like Spirit is knock, knock, knocking. I feel a sort of sadness despite learning such a marvelous lesson. I don’t understand it.

We are Source. We just forgot. I am Remembering and it is blowing my mind. Or should I say it is blowing my heart mind. 😉

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Making Connections

I felt the urge to review my other blog yesterday in between the powerful bliss episodes I experienced.

I have mentioned in other posts that I am a gridworker.  The region of the U.S. where I do most of my work is in the southeast, specifically Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, and sometimes Mississippi and South Carolina. Well, in my review of 2014 I discovered I have been traveling to this area for some time. I specifically mention traveling to Tennessee.

Below are a couple of intense experiences that I wrote about in 2014 along with a supporting sychronistic event. There are numerous others you can read if you like but these are the ones that seemed most relevant to me, probably because they involve a similar energy to what I was experiencing at the time.

Airport Reunion – July 15, 2014

In this dream I was with some friends, though I can’t remember them now. There was a distinct feeling that I was considering doing something “wrong”. The feeling hung around and seemed to grow through the dream. I felt horribly guilty.

As the dream progressed it became obvious what I was feeling guilty about. I had been ignoring the advances of a man for some time but I had felt a huge attraction for him and eventually I gave in. Then we were a “couple” though it was not sexual. I remember also that someone said “He pursued you” and that we were going on trip to Tennessee. However, I had lied to my husband and did not tell him that I planned to continue on from Tennessee to another, more northerly state after we got to Tennessee. Nor did I tell him about the man I would secretly go away with.

When we arrived at the airport, I sat and waited with this man. I felt at peace with him and I experienced such a strong love feeling in my heart that it extended down through to my root chakra. I did experience the sexual energy of the root chakra but it was different – it was elation mixed with a spiritual passion that is hard to describe. Had I been lucid in this dream it would have caused me to cry with joy. All I wanted to do was snuggle into this man’s arms. It was the same feeling I described having with one of my guides not long ago in a post. It was as if his energy calmed and soothed me and I felt like I was reunited with a piece of me that had been missing.

As we waited at the airport a large group of people came toward us – more people than I can count. I knew them all. They had come to welcome us. I immediately was aware that my husband was among them and I saw him come through the middle, smiling. I felt so much shame at what I had done that it was overwhelming but the man I was with soothed me and I felt the wonderful flood of peace/joy flood through me. He smiled and I asked him, “I get to go Home?” and he said, “Yes”.

That is when I woke up. The feelings lingered as I woke and I was horrified because I suspected that the dream was a premonition – that I would meet someone and leave my husband. And I knew, if the man I met made me feel like I felt in the dream that I would not be able to resist. The thought of that scared me and made me feel horribly unworthy and like a traitor without having done anything!

Kundalini Rising – July 26, 2014

In this particular dream I was with a man (same one as above) who was my partner/boyfriend. He was discussing with me a process he was going through and though he never spoke of it by name he allowed me to feel bits and pieces of this process in the dream. It felt very similar to how one feels when they are very attracted to another person but it had more of a high to it, like a drug. Since I was not able to fully experience it yet he told me that I would get to experience it soon.

The dream continued as I was waiting. We were at a party with other young people and there was a table with food on it. We were all partaking of the food and I remember talking with a woman who was my partner’s mother, though she looked too young. I wish I could remember what we were talking about but all I recall was thinking that I was about to take a very powerful drug.

I do not recall actually taking a drug but I saw others “on the drug” acting very happy and relaxed. Eventually, though, I did experience the feeling after watching these other young people experience it. I cannot describe it in words for there are no words that even come close to describing it accurately. I have experienced the feeling before but only once as I was coming out of a meditation years ago. It might be described by some as a sexual experience but if that were what it was then it is beyond any sexual experience I have experienced in this physical body. It does have some similarities to it. For example, there is a pulling sensation in the first and second chakra area that is very powerful and pleasant and it spreads out from that point to every part of the body and intensifies similar to the moment of orgasm. However, it does not stop but continues to escalate beyond any orgasmic experience, the feeling moving upward and downward at the same time along the center of the body (spine) while it also expands outward. It feels like a total body orgasm but the feeling is of such ecstasy that it could be described as similar to a very powerful drug. In this particular experience the feeling continued uninterrupted for what seemed like hours and I was completely absorbed by it, losing myself to it along side my partner.

July 31st Entry

On July 31, I wrote about a real-life experience I had on a flight to Florida. I knew I was about to meet a man named Michael and heard his name very clearly. Minutes later a man sat down in the seat next to me, turned around and introduced himself to me as “Michael”. We talked throughout the flight to Florida and he told me all about his life, his wife and family. He also mentioned he lived in Tennessee. I remember thinking that I had soul family in Tennessee and remembered the airport dream above in full.

 

 

 

 

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Beautiful Bliss

Did you feel the energy last night?! It was off the charts! Or at least for me it was.

I first started noticing it around 8pm CST. I was settling my children into bed and soothing my youngest who demands I be right next to him until he falls asleep. So, as I lay there with him, sitting up and quite uncomfortable, my heart chakra just bursts wide open and wave upon wave of energy begins to pour through me and out of me. The energy expanded and then I felt my other chakras light up one by one. Root, sacral, solar, throat. The energy never rose above my throat.

This was pure bliss energy. My heart still felt almost painful at times but I didn’t care. Though my root and second chakras were pulsing with energy, I never felt sexual. It was just beautiful, wonderful, heavenly bliss. It made me want to cry tears of joy.

It lasted for over 20 minutes. Hehehehe

Another Wave

After that, it settled and I felt an urge to do yoga. As I was doing yoga, my crown and third-eye lit up with energy and I had what I like to call “raccoon eyes” from the intense energy around my nose and eyes that formed a mask of energy. I don’t know why I connect this mask to the raccoon specifically, but I just think of their little masked faces when I get it. lol

I also had sporadic intense shots of energy through my heart as I was doing yoga. This was most intense in savasana.

When I finished with yoga I felt like I had just had a strong cup of espresso. I was wired! Hatha yoga usually does the opposite for me. I do think it helped my physical body to relax and release areas of tension that may have been blocking the energy. Whatever the cause, I was flying high afterward.

From that point on the energy just kept hitting me in waves of pure bliss. These waves came in intensely and then would settle for a bit, giving me time to recover. I was able to read and function quite normally between them. Sometimes the shots of energy would hit my heart chakra in such a way as to be painful, but it never lasted long and I didn’t much care.

Interestingly, I could feel the energy doing its magic in certain chakras. At one point my sacral plexus felt like a massive ball of warm, tingling, swirly energy. It moved around in a circular pattern and reminded me of water.  My throat chakra was also lighting up in a strange way, moving around like it was alive. Very strange sensations!

After several hours of this intense energy a portion of my upper back, near my right shoulder blade, began to spasm. It was not painful but it was enough to keep me from relaxing and falling asleep. I finally gave up trying to relax at 12:30am and took a Benadryl. Thankfully it helped and I fell asleep about a half hour later.

I was told that my upper back pain was the result of a high heart block that was unable to clear. The pain was an indicator to slow down. My Team told me, “Slow down, your body can only take so much.” I had been requesting the energy to keep coming (who wouldn’t?). I was very enthusiastic about all of it. lol

 

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Energy Surges

Happy 2016 everyone!

I had a busy night last night welcoming in the new year. Although I stayed home and was in bed by 10pm, energetically and spiritually I was a busy woman.

Energy Surges

After I fell to sleep, I recall being bombarded by energy surges to my heart chakra. I knew what was going on while it was occurring, but all that remained was an odd memory of being zapped and talking with someone. I awoke at 10:30 and 12:30pm because of the zaps of energy. Both times that I woke I was extremely thirsty and felt completely exhausted and wiped out, so I didn’t really care to ask what was going on.

4:30 Briefing

I was awakened at 4:30am with tears in my eyes, but I did not know why I was crying. I was also starving and very, very thirsty. As I tried to remember what had happened, I recovered memory of being on board a silver craft of some sort that was hovering mid-air. I recalled very briefly a dream of being inside a silver helicopter, but I knew instantly this was how my human mind was trying to make sense of where I had been. The helicopter opened up from its center and I knew I had transferred from one craft to another. Unfortunately, that is all the memory I retained.

For a brief time I was upset that my memories were being wiped again but with that upset came an intense calm from my heart and a knowing that I was focusing on the wrong thing. An overwhelming amount of calm hit me then and I no longer cared what I had dreamed about. I just knew I would remember what I was meant to, when I was meant to.

Messages

Once fully awake I had a guide I did not initially recognize to my left. I asked who he was and felt he was the one who I call The Dr. This confirmed what I knew had been occurring throughout the night – I had been receiving major healing and adjustment and it seemed the focus was mostly to my heart. I commented, “How much more is there to clear!?” It just seems like the healing to my heart never stops! I was told then, “All wounds heal with time”.

I was then shown an image of the final result the healing and adjustment. I saw golden energy in human form. I was told, “This is you”. Then, I saw a light shoot up through the middle, starting at the feet. As it moved up the energy appeared to grow in size and intensity. When it got to the crown it exploded out in a cascading golden waterfall of energy. I asked what it meant and I was told, “You will continuously be connected to Source”. I asked what that meant and was told, “It is so you can do your work”.

I managed to fall back to sleep and when I woke up an hour later I had memory of something else. I had been talking to The Dr. and he had put both my hands into a cup full of crystals. I could feel the round, smooth cool crystals on my hands. What was interesting is that they were immersed in some kind of gel, a conductor of some sort. How I know this, I am not sure. I asked what had been happening was was told, “It clarifies thought”. I also knew this had been what I was doing on board the silver craft.

What is very cool about all this is that when I woke I knew exactly what I was suppose to do. Not only did I know what I was suppose to do, but I had memories of a review of not only this life but several past lives. The purpose of which was to alert me to a karmic pattern that I could break in this lifetime.

Changes

My Team has also been congratulating me on my progress. This often comes with a question, “Don’t you see how far you’ve come?” or “Do you see how much you’ve changed?” I have been overwhelmed by the intense energy and the holidays so I have not really thought about their questions. However, this morning I am acutely aware of how much I have changed. What I think is the most noticeable is how connected I feel to my purpose and my guidance. I am notorious for flat-out ignoring my intuition. Now it seems my intuition is unavoidable. It seems to almost shout at me and what is bizarre is that I listen and if I don’t listen I am easily swayed. It’s the heart connection. It is like a mind-wiping, beautiful, loving and comforting hug that says, “Remember”. Though my heart is far from being my primary compass, it is quickly shifting in that direction. I am feeling an intense pull to change. It is almost compulsory in intensity and it is coming directly from my heart center. And I know it is only going to intensify.

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Message: Be the Hummingbird

I took the advice given by many of you and focused on taking care of myself and this crazy energy last night. First, I ate a big meal. I immediately felt better. Then I took a hot bath with essential oils – 8 drops of lavender and 2 of Roman Chamomile. I also played music, specifically by Rising Appalachia (thank you KLeigh!). I was in one of my high’s before long and didn’t even mind when all three of my children crawled into the bathtub with me and began splashing.

Afterward I began to lose the high and fall into the exhaustion, but I let it happen and did not resist. My Team has been very close and the message I keep getting is to let go and allow. I went ahead and had some wine and watched some T.V. The whole time I had strange energy sensations all over my body and kept receiving high heart hugs from my Companion. Wonderful and calming. I also, for the first time since these energies began wracking my body, I had a rising of desire from the lower chakras. I pushed it down but it made me smile. I think my blockages are clearing.

I slept very, very well.

Dreams

I almost felt normal before , of course, I began to think that everything that happened to me these last 10 days or so was not real, not true, and I could be normal and move on with my life as planned. This thought was immediately interrupted with a knowing that I knew better than that. Then everything flooded back in and my body was covered in another energy hug. I was told, “You will rest tomorrow and we will talk tonight”. I recognized the energies of my Council of 12 and knew we would talk about contracts. Something felt final about it and I asked, “We are finalizing the contract?” I received confirmation but I joked and said, “Nothing is ever ‘final'” and reminded him of my ambivalence. Instead of humor I received a more serious energy from him. That shut me up and I went to sleep.

Teaching Developmentally Delayed Adults

The first vivid dream I recall is actively teaching adults who were most obviously developmentally delayed. We were doing language and vocabulary activities and I soon realized they were all at very different levels. Some were already able to spell while others couldn’t. I remember directing them to use block letters to spell out an answer to a question. It was like they were toddlers in preschool but some of these individuals were older than me!

I woke momentarily and knew this dream was representative of the various levels of consciousness of those on Earth. It was a bit disturbing to think that so many of us are at the spiritual toddler stage!

Be the Hummingbird

I had an entire dream where I was learning to be the hummingbird. This is symbolic of my mission here. I am being asked to fulfill my mission.

Bus Turned Trailer

Another vivid dream was of my husband and family. I was walking down a dirt road in the country. Tall, green trees and lush grass were all around and the dirt was that orange-red color I remember from my childhood days in east Texas. I looked up and saw my husband towing a white trailer behind him. He was not in a car and the trailer was one that should have been hitched to at ruck. I said to him, “Where’s your bus? Is it broken?” He just turned, smiled and waved at me and continued on. I knew he had our children in the trailer, but I kept going in the opposite direction

This dream woke me up with a start. I knew the symbolism right away. The loss of the bus is significant. Being on a bus or some other form of public transportation is representative of one’s family or group dynamic. In this dream the bus was broken and replaced by a trailer. In recognizing this I saw that a message I have been receiving was coming out in my dreams. My husband and family are moving in the opposite direction from me.

spiderweb-2

Messages 

The amount of information coming to me now is extremely high. I have been processing it for some time now. This partly because I am struggling to accept it and partly because I don’t know how to impart it.

Message 1: My mission is to embody the light; to be a beacon of light as well as to ground and anchor the new energies. I am also to activate others and act as a guide. I work with energies in many ways, more than I am aware of in this Earth consciousness.

Message 2: I am being asked to embody the light now. To do this I must drop relationships and connections that do not harmonize with my own frequency. If I am unhappy, depressed, angry, etc then I am not embodying the Light and so not fulfilling my role here. I have to “step up” now. Others are also receiving this message.

Message 3:  When I hit the age of 40 next year things are really going to shift to a higher level of intensity. I have already been warned of this as it will start next summer right before my birthday to prepare me. I am told 40 is a significant age for more than just me. It has to do with spiritual maturity and ability to hold more Light.

Message 4: I was greeted this morning by Eric who is a member of our ground crew. He is living presently in a physical body like me. He showed me a web, like a spider web. In the center the fibers of the web are very close and they get farther apart as it expands. He explained that the web is being extended now. With this explanation I was told that some members of this web are interconnected with me at a very, very deep level. These are the ones in the center. Others a less so and as the web extends outward even less so. Those most connected to me, those with me in the center, are extremely spiritually intense connections.  The others are less intense and more casual relationships. Our strength comes via these connections. The web grows stronger with each connection.

We are building the web now. The center is first and the most important. We will gather on a spiritual level first but eventually in the physical as well. I see large areas of light across the U.S. These epicenters of Light are crucial.

Message 5: I again saw my Companion as non-human in form. Those who read my previous description say he is Arcturian, but I identify him by his energy, not his appearance.

This time I was accepting of his appearance. He is beautiful beyond description! In accepting him, I accepted myself. I looked down at my hand and saw a non-human hand. Three long, thin, blue fingers and one thumb with over sized fingertips. I laughed because I was immediately reminded of a frog. Also with this acceptance I began again to think in terms of We. I have done this before but it had stopped.

We have many names. We take many forms. We are the Many. 

Elohim.

Day of Rest

When I awoke this morning my husband and three children were gone. They are on a camping trip and won’t be back until tomorrow evening most likely.

Day of rest indeed! 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Full-on Kundalini Awakening

I had an entire post written and ready to post this morning but I hesitated and left it. I came back to it just now and it did not feel right so I deleted the whole thing.

Right now I have a sore throat and feel like crap. My energy is still off the charts and it seems not to be subsiding. I was warned it would get more intense but this is beyond intense. No amount of alcohol will shut this off. I feel like a rocket taking off. I just wish I would get to my destination already!

Kundalini Awakening

What I am experiencing is a full-on kundalini awakening. I actually have no doubt that is what it is after this experience the night of December 25th. I have experienced Kundalini before but it was not nearly this explosive or intense. What is happening to me now causes me to question whether what I experienced in the past was even kundalini. This is crazy!

This is what I have been experiencing:

  • Third-eye blazing energy
  • Blazing energy on either side of my nose and behind my ears
  • Heart chakra explosions of energy that bring emotional hiccups that quickly subside. It feels like emotion is flying out of my chest.
  • Heart chakra fire that often feels like my chest is burning or there is a huge inward flowing vortex of energy there
  • Vibrations in my second chakra
  • Shaking or psychic chills as some call them
  • Lower back pain
  • Stiff neck
  • Sore throat
  • More incidences of what I call “enforced amnesia”
  • Depression, lack of motivation or just feeling zoned out
  • High’s followed by lows and/or exhaustion (feel like a manic depressive)
  • Easily overwhelmed
  • Overly sensitive to other’s energy
  • Psychic sensitivity
  • Loss of appetite
  • Increased thirst
  • Dreaming of fire and the feeling of the K energy
  • Extremely high energy causing me to feel restless, I can’t sit still!
  • Inability to stay grounded for very long
  • Solar plexus pain like being kicked in the stomach (gone now thankfully)
  • Indigestion
  • Stomach upset, nausea

Just so you know, I DID NOT ask for this to happen. I did nothing out of the ordinary to bring this energy. It just happened and now that it has there is no stopping it. It will effectively clean out all blockages, I have no doubt. You can tell by what I am experiencing where my blockages are – second, third, and sixth chakras.

I do have other things to talk about, information I brought back with me from the other side, the other dimensions, or whatever you want to call it. I am too tired now to articulate it effectively so I am going to leave it for another day. Going to suck on a cough drop and probably drink some more wine. Ugh.

Am open to advice on what to do with all this energy. Grounding and anchoring it only helps temporarily. Holding crystals, especially rose quartz, causes major explosive energy. Alcohol only numbs it temporarily. Meditation puts me to sleep or sends me somewhere that I promptly forget.

Oh and sex doesn’t work either. LOL