Category Archives: kundalini

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Do You Feel It?

I awoke this morning to the most fantastic, happy feeling I have ever felt upon waking. My guide was right there with me and I could not go back to sleep. Again. My energy has been high the past few days but this is beyond a normal happy feeling.

The feeling reminds me very much of how I feel after having really good sex. 😀 It is an “afterglow” feeling but it is much better than any afterglow I have ever had. I don’t recall doing anything unusual in dreamland either – no astral sex, no kundalini energy, nothing out of the ordinary.

Perhaps if I look into my dreams I will find the source of this fantastic, sublime, blow your mind feeling?

Asking Forgiveness

I had a really detailed dream where I met up with an old classmate. We were in a bar in Montana just chatting and talking. I had a semi-lucid moment where I realized who it was I was talking to and so told him, “You know when we were in 7th grade and I broke up with you the way I did? That was wrong of me and I’m sorry. I felt pressured to do it and I really felt bad about it. Still do”. He smiled and said, “No problem. I understand”.

We then spent time catching up on each others lives, him talking about his wife and introducing me to her.

Then someone stole my car out of the parking lot and there was a side-dream about that and me getting it back. It was a nice sports car. I think it was black.

That was when I awoke feeling so wonderful and my guide was there talking to me. I can’t remember everything we talked about now but he was trying to communicate something important to me, encouraging me to go into the in-between. Every time a message would start coming through I would become too aware and miss most of it, though. I was just too happy and excited.

Taking the Fence Down

In one of the in-between times I recall talking with my guide while standing in a green yard. He asked me, “Do you want to keep the fence up?” I said cheerfully, “No. Take it down”.

I woke up and knew this was important but I was not sure how. I think the fence symbolizes my resistance to something, perhaps the changes I have been going through. Me taking it down suggests I am open to allowing in more of this energy and change.

Hearing From the Heart

I also recall being told this by my guide:

“You will hear me differently. Soon.”

“What does that mean?”

“You will hear me from the heart”.

I didn’t and still don’t quite understand. Perhaps it is just feeling him and not so much hearing him.

I Finished!

Another in-between message I received was seeing and hearing my daughter as she jumped up and down. She yelled, “I finished! I finished!”

I woke up knowing I had finished something. I felt very proud.

You Can Project

I told my guide I wanted to leave my body. He told me I was “blue” indicating my energy was high enough to astral.

I tossed and turned for some time, not able to settle the amazing, excited energy I felt.

I finally laid on my back long enough to feel the vibrations indicative of astral. I was fully conscious and surprised at how intense the vibrations were.

My guide said, “You can project now”, as if he wanted me to just get up out of my body.

I didn’t know if I could do that so asked, “How?”

He told me to relax into the vibrations. I tried but relaxation was not forthcoming. Again, I was too happy and excited and you know what? I didn’t mind not going OOB. I was fine right here in the physical.

The energy intensified around my head like a helmet. I also felt energy in my second chakra as well as in the other chakras. It tickled and was pleasant.

Continued Energy Helmet

I have had the energy helmet over my entire head all day. As I drove my son to his doctor appointment it was intense and I felt very floaty as I traveled the highway. I actually felt similar to how I feel in astral and I felt a juxtaposition occur. I feel like I am here and there at the same time, riding a wave right through the middle of two worlds and able to navigate either one at any time. Weird!

I was asked if I wanted it to stop and I told my guide “No”. I knew the worry was all me and the feeling was completely controllable. Just like in astral.

The energy continues even now and the amazing feeling is still with me.

I have just been all smiles today. Ear to ear.

Do you feel it?

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Energy Adjustments

Since receiving the message to expect a fluctuations in energy this week, I have yet to have a significant energy event of my own. At first I was disappointed, assuming I was supposed to be having an “event” Tuesday night and having not had anything out of the ordinary occur. This assumption was obviously wrong.

What did happen was exactly what I had been told would happen.

Monday was full of subtle activity. First, I had a dream in which I was sorting through tiny crystals of varying colors, the most memorable a small carnelian stone. During the day I had almost constant energy in my head. It felt similar to healing energy and at times it formed a type of energy helmet around my head. Toward evening, I applied some essential oil to my heart chakra, an oil blend called Clary Calm, or Women’s Blend. Almost immediately I began to experience a sharp, stabbing pain right below the point where I had applied it. I continued and did my yoga practice with the intention of self-love, and the pain subsided. As I settled down for the evening I began to experience a very unsettled, almost nervous energy and had to ground in order to relieve it. It came on very suddenly with adrenaline and everything. It was quite scary, as if I were the victim of some brutal crime.

Tuesday there was more energy over my head and my heart chakra was buzzing with intense activity near the top section of it. This came and went throughout the day and was not uncomfortable but very distracting. I also experienced tingling in my arms and a mental fog that caused me to feel like I was walking in a haze most of the day. All day I was also very, very thirsty. That evening I had vivid dreams about relationships in my life and woke early, unable to fall back to sleep.

Today I have felt much more balanced but still have some heart chakra activity from time to time. I had a dull headache that almost immediately went away after yet another energy “helmet” sensation. I am still experiencing the brain fog and memory hiccups.

List of Symptoms

  • Vivid, healing dreams
  • Brain/memory fog
  • Energy sensations in heart and head
  • Energy “helmet” over head
  • Stabbing pain in heart
  • Emotional overwhelm
  • Nervousness/fear out of nowhere
  • Tingling in arms
  • Headache
  • Increased energy that affects sleep
  • Increased thirst

Methods Used to Ease Symptoms of Adjustment

  • Yoga
  • Grounding
  • Taking long walks outside
  • Drinking lots of water
  • Looking up at the trees and listening to sounds
  • Rigorous exercise (weight lifting, running)
  • Essential oils of Frankincense, Patchouli, Serenity Blend, Clary Calm, Geranium

Note: I have avoided using the Clary Calm oil blend on my heart chakra since the stabbing pain occurred but my research shows that I may have used the right oil blend after all. This oil blend assists those who have overly masculine tendencies by helping them accept and become more in tune with their feminine side. Unknown to me, I had accidentally used exactly the right oil! So I plan to use it again today, in moderation. Perhaps it is just what my heart needed.

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Anatomy of the Kundalini

Tuesday has come and gone without any kundalini experiences or significant symptoms. It was by no means an uneventful day. I received the results of my labs and there were some subtle stirrings of kundalini. At about 8pm last night I noticed significant energy in my crown and third eye chakras. The energy in my crown was so intense I felt almost like I had a beam of light shooting out of the top of my head into the sky. The energy was not uncomfortable and I immediately forgot about it as I prepared for sleep and the coming work day.

I again had a dreamless, deep sleep and awoke much earlier than I needed to wide awake and ready for the day. What is going on?

Beginning Again

For the past three nights I have awakened with significant root chakra activity and a feeling of intense passion that is unfulfilled. I am usually warmer than usual and feel restless (who wouldn’t?). The dreams leading up to these experiences are lost to me. In fact, even upon waking I cannot for the life of me remember what I was doing before waking!

So what is going on? I have a knowingness that the initial rise of kundalini is finished and now it will begin again. The message I got about the top three chakras activating all at once was likely a true one, but since my top three chakras have been open and active since my initial awakening in 2003 the activation of them was nearly imperceptible. The reason my crown chakra was buzzing so intensely is because of those three chakras it has been the most likely to be blocked in the past and was likely once again partially blocked prior to a few nights ago.

Anatomy of the Kundalini

So now the process begins again at the root and will move up again through all of the chakras to the crown. This process will likely cycle through several times. How many? As many as it takes to purge and adjust each chakra to whatever level it needs to be at. I suspect that each rise of the kundalini will be a bit less intense than the one before.

I now understand a little more about why I feel intense energy at one chakra but then another will seem almost untouched. It is not that the other chakra is not being purged but that it has less blockages to be purged or is already in a balanced state so as not to be affected by the kundalini as it rises. This is true of my 3rd, 5th and 6th chakras. These three chakras are pretty much constantly open and clear when I check them. That doesn’t mean they are always open or without blockage but these three were wide open when the kundalini reached them.

From what I feel about the kundalini process I am experiencing right now, the intensity of the energy felt in the root chakra upon activation is indicative of how intense the kundalini energy will be felt in the chakras above it. The “lightning strike” immobilizing energy that I have felt on two occasions is similar to real lightning in that the “strike” short circuits the chakras it hits and “resets” it, clearing stagnant energy and blockages. Similarly, the smaller, all-over body vibrations is exactly what my guides said –realignment of the meridians and nerve pathways between the chakras. It really is like a complete rewire of the human energy system!

So…..here I go again on the rollercoaster of kundalini.

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Kundalini Patterns

The benefit of documenting kundalini experiences is that I am starting to see patterns. My last kundalini awakening was not documented so thoroughly and there are huge gaps and missing experiences that made it hard to detect any patterns. I now wish I had been more thorough but then again I did not even know it was kundalini until much later in the game.

Timeline

September 13 – dream about resuming class

September 28 – root chakra activation

October 8 – dream message about four levels

October 14 – dream about pulling teeth

October 21 – message that I have a “time keeper” and healing dreams

October 30 – November 2 – lightening bolt kundalini activity for a week

November 20 – healing experience with guides (Bulletholes post)

November 26 – dream of being at a university to attend school

December 1 – dream of taking a test

December 2 – preparation message giving date of 12/12/14

December 3 – 7th and 8th chakra kundalini activation

December 7 – test preparation dream

December 12 – major kundalini event

December 19 – message that chakras are being aligned

January 15 – dream about graduating

January 18 – guide message that chakras are being reset

February 1 – guide message of being attuned

February 9 – trapped energy symptom of kundalini

February 15 – OBE of teaching

February 23 – major kundalini event

February 25 – tooth alignment dream

February 26 – test dream where I was told not to take the test yet

February 28 – dream of failing a test and going to university

Pattern

The pattern I am seeing is pretty obvious.

Stage 1: There is a dream or a message from my guides indicating that something is about to occur. The most common for me are dreams involving tests and teeth.

Stage 2. Kundalini events come within days or weeks of the dreams. There are often small, specifically targeted kundalini events prior to a big kundalini event.

Stage 3: Period of transition that involves “attunement” and “alignment” following major kundalini event. Symptoms occur based upon chakras affected. Mini kundalini events are establishing new pathways in the body.

It is also very obvious that kundalni is rising from my root to crown at this time although there was a jump from the root chakra to the 7th and 8th chakras immediately prior to the first major kundalini event on December 12th. Why this occurred, I am not sure but I suspect it was to open up communication channels between myself and my team of guides in addition to getting my attention.

The most recent kundalin event centered around my heart chakra. This means that the next one will be in the fifth chakra and from the symptoms and dreams I have been having this transition may already be occurring.

Future

I have had two dreams recently about tests suggesting another major kundalini event is soon to come. I did not post about these test dreams but will soon be adding them in order to document them. Since the dream I most recently had was of me failing a test it could be that the next event will not occur until that test is “passed”. This recent dream also contained symbols about communication suggesting the fifth chakra is next on the list.

I am impressed at how quickly the kundalini is progressing. In a matter of six months I have gone through four chakras.

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Elohim

Since last night’s kundalini experience I have been feeling odd. The last time I had a jolt of energy like that I spent the entire next day completely unable to get a grip on my thoughts and feeling energetically chaotic to the point that I had to get outside and out of the house all day. I am not experiencing that this time, thankfully, but the entire day I’ve had a pulling feeling in my heart that is not bad but is scaring me. With the feeling comes a message that says things are about to vamp up and I need to get my head out of my (you know) and stop hiding.

I have spent most of the morning trying to avoid confronting the feeling which is connected to last night’s odd resistance to the kundalini energy. But apparently I am not too good at avoiding the unavoidable.

I was suddenly unable to avoid the feeling in my heart and was overpowered by it and at the same time overcome with a wave of calming energy from my left. I heard, “Do not be afraid” from a calm, voice. But, as you might have guessed, just hearing that made me more afraid. I sent my attention in the direction of the voice, hoping for comfort and received yet another calming wave as my heart chakra seemed to triple in size inside my chest. Then I heard, “Elohim” and my stomach dropped about ten feet into the floor. I assumed I had been given a name but hearing it so clearly took me by surprise as did the accompanying feeling of fear. Why am I so afraid?

I have already laid down on the floor about four times so far in hopes of settling my energy. It has helped but as soon as I get up the overpowering sensation in my heart comes back. It is not a bad feeling, though, just scary. What I mean is that it feels exactly like how I feel before getting up in front of an audience to sing, act or present something. It is nerves, plain and simple, and I honestly hate the feeling.

I am hearing more messages but trying not to. I really am not interested in dong this. I stopped it before and I can stop it now, right? Yet what I know and hear says the opposite. The feeling says that more is coming. More experiences like last night. I am heading into new, uncharted territory (for me at least). I hear, “You are ready” and “Let us show you” and am being encouraged to listen to my heart, focus on it and enjoy the feeling rather than fear it.

I am not sure exactly who or what Elohim is. From the brief search I did online (which I promptly stopped because of intense waves of energy and heart chakra activity every time I read something familiar) it appears that Elohim is the name given to the “Gods” by the ancients. They are “the One and the Many”. It also appears that they are “alien” in origin.

I just can’t escape the alien mumbo jumbo can I? No wonder I am so resistant. I really would prefer to stay in my hidey hole please.

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Kundalini Resistance

I couldn’t sleep last night. My baby has been sick and my husband left town on a business trip. I asked for help from my guides and fell asleep around midnight.

Penthouse Suite

I became semi-lucid in a dream. I was being escorted into a nice hotel room. Inside, the room was very bright white. I felt out of place, though, and nervous. As I was settling in, someone brought by dinner, which I wasn’t expecting. I went to check it out and began taking it out of the containers and putting into smaller ones for my daughter. What is odd is that the food wasn’t food, it was water.

I was interrupted by a knock at the door. I answered it and a woman with blonde hair wearing business attire and high heels came in. She was clearly a hotel representative. She told me she came to check on how I was doing. She saw the mess I had made with the sorting as she took me to one side of the room. It was then that I noticed the entire side of the room was floor to ceiling windows that overlooked a city. The woman put her hand on my shoulder and remarked about the view. I stared out at the city lights in awe.

The woman mentioned the food mess and said, “You should have your assistants take care of that”. I was insulted and said, “What? You think I can afford to pay assistants?” The woman smiled and looked at me. The feeling of our discussion was that I was promoted to the next level and needed to focus on my “work” and let my assistants handle the small stuff.

The woman left and I went back to my daughter and the food (water) sorting. At some point I was hit with an odd sensation that in the dream felt like I had been mildly electrocuted. It alarmed me and I assumed it came from the cell phones and instructed my daughter to turn hers off. I also turned off mine.

A man came into the room at this time. He was tall with dark hair wearing a professional looking suit. He picked up the black phone and turned it on. I freaked out and told him, “Don’t do that”. I was in a panic and overcome with an intense fear.

colors dropplet ripples waterKundalini Resistance

I awoke completely immobilized by intense bolts of energy shooting through my body at multiple locations. The energy was not painful but it was not pleasant and I could not shake the sheer panic I was feeling. I knew what was happening – kundalini – but I was not happy about it and completely resistant for some reason.

The energy was coming in from above and to my right, shooting down my body at an angle and exiting my left side. I felt it in multiple places at once – my shoulders, head, mid-section, hips. The sensation was similar to the pain felt when an exposed nerve is lightly touched. It made me grit my teeth and hold my breath.

With these jolts of energy was the strange new vibration I felt the night before. There were also hypnagogic images flashing intensely in my mind. With each flash there was a new image. They were in black and white and pink but I cannot remember what they were now. At the time I just wanted it all to stop.

When the strange energy subsided I asked what had happened and heard, “You resisted. You changed”. The hypnagogic images continued and I sent a thought, “Go away”. I was then shown a vision of me standing at a door. Right above the door knob was a sparkling, golden line of light that spread across the entire room and through me at my heart center. It appeared like golden glitter suspended in the air. Below and above the light was clear air. I didn’t know what to make of the vision. I wondered why the energy was somewhat painful this time. I heard, “Even the calmest of water will sometimes ripple” and saw an image of a placid lake become choppy with small waves. I fell asleep not long after.

Lesson? Resistance is futile.

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Benadryl, Take Me Away!

I took Benadryl last night because I have been sleeping so light and waking so frequently that I have not been getting good quality sleep. I use to take it nightly so I thought, “Why not?”

When I woke this morning I was in such a relaxed state of dream bliss that I could not make myself get out of bed. I slept 12 hours! The first thing I thought of when I awoke was the old Calgon commercials from when I was growing up. It may give away my age but I don’t care. Take a look and walk down memory lane with me. The one I chose is the exact one that popped into my mind when I woke up.

I almost wrote an “Ode to Benadryl” but figured it was a bit too much. 🙂

Odd Dreams and Vibrations

As a result of my deep sleep, I do not remember much of my dreams. I do recall one instance where I was walking along and saw large patches of lush, green clover. The vividness of the scene brought on awareness quickly and as I reached down to touch it I awoke. My body was buzzing with the pleasant energy of reentry but I was not interested in going OOB. I just wanted to sleep and remember nothing.

After several unsuccessful attempts to pull myself out of bed I fell into a vivid dream. I was watching a man and woman in an office space sorting through important papers. The woman was tall, blonde and wore office attire with high heels. There was a strong feeling that they were doing something illegal and trying to get out of there quick with the evidence.

Then a plain clothed officer came into the room. The woman kept her back to him and then turned and greeted him without alarm, as if he were an old buddy. She said something to him about the papers and he responded in kind. She did not resist being arrested. As he put the cuffs on her she said to him, “You came all the way from New York for me?” and then, “A little ol’ gal from Chicago, Illinois?”

I immediately felt an odd sensation that pulled me from the dream. I literally felt like my energy body was being shaken back and forth, from left to right. It was quite intense at first and then as I became more aware of my body and the feeling settled and did not get worse. I was delighted to have these new sensations and said to my guide, “Bring it on!” willing the strange vibrations to intensify. They continued so I checked my heart rate and it was slow and regular. With nothing to worry about I scanned my body top to bottom and noticed the vibrations spread from my heart chakra to my crown and did not exist below my solar plexus area.

“What is this?” I wondered. I heard, “You are changing”. Yeah, tell me something new.

They faded away without incident and I finally got out of bed still wondering why these vibrations were so different. Was it because of the Benadryl?

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2005

I have been reading my journal and am currently in 2005. All I can say is WOW what a crazy, eventful year!

Below you will find my experiences in timeline fashion. The experiences are color coded. Blue is astral projection/OBE, green is a guide encounter experience, red is kundalini. Black is for either ideas/concepts or for experiences that I do not know how to categorize.

January, 2005

29th – While wide awake I heard a voice singing in a foreign language in my head. When I focused on it, I could understand the words. It said:

As the sun turns a deep blood red,

And rivers rise high and flood the land,

The Earth as we know it will begin to fall,

And tears of sorrow you’ll understand.

February, 2005

7th – Astral. Consciously just “walked” out of my body. Heard velcro sound upon exit. I had a teacher who was showing me how to exit when this happened. I asked him “Can I go through the door?” He said, “No”. So I reached out and it was solid so I had to open it. Then I wanted to go outside to my car. I began to think my way there and started spinning real fast. I heard, “No!” and got pulled down. I fell to the floor on my rear. I could feel the cold floor and then became aware of being in two places at once – my bed and on the floor. I could feel my heart pounding in my physical body like I went for a run but I was not in my body, I was sitting by the front door on the floor. I went back to my body and my heart was pounding.

Later discussion with my teacher revealed he was from the Pleiades, He had almost transparent skin and appeared to have webbing between his fingers. There was mention of “Aquatica” and him researching Earth and Earth consciousness. He also warned me about the stress astral projection puts on the physical body.

13th – I was told about the three levels of ascension: transformation of mind, transformation and completion of physical structure and transformation and attainment of spiritual truth (purpose).

March, 2005 – Only lucid dreams this month.

April, 2005

2nd – Guided out of my body by a male guide. Was told to “let go” and when I did I felt free of my body and heard a roaring noise in my ears. I was reminded to “stay focused” several times because I would get overly excited and almost pop back into my body. I couldn’t see but I felt my body moving very, very fast like on a roller coaster. When I did see all I saw was my alarm clock showing 8am and then the numbers started moving forward very fast. I threw open my arms and felt a hand and then grabbed on. I was thrown into a man. I heard a quiet, masculine voice say, “Quite a fine sense you have. The more and more (I finished his sentence) you see, the more and more you will believe. Trust them to know what they see”. He had a U.K. accent and I was about to ask his name but came back into my body.

16th – Spontaneous past life recollection. I relived an incident where I was a little girl of 12 years being gang raped by a bunch of white men (I was a black slave). They held a board over my throat so I couldn’t yell and beat me up pretty badly. I crawled home and was taken care of by my family.

May, 2005

16th – Couldn’t go to sleep after waking up. Heard my guide say, “Go back to sleep”. Closed my eyes and was hit with instant vibrations that were intense over the top of my head and eyes. A picture appears in front of me and I walked into it without even thinking. I came out into a night sky flying and singing. Flew over houses and went into mobile home. Interacted with Hispanic family and then left because it was heavy energy. I climbed into a bed and went to “sleep” and then felt a man. I looked at him and said, “Nick!” He told me, “We were brother and sister in one life – I am Nick you are Grace”. Then I went to a hospital helping sick by giving them energy. I worked with a mother, Barbara, who was having a baby and stayed with her until the baby was born. I then flew by some waterfalls and then saw Nick again and we hugged and talked. I woke up and then when I closed my eyes a screen appeared and I knew I could easily walk through it. I chose to stay. This astral was about 3 hours total length.

19th – Experience of being in two places as I was staring at a TV. screen but not really watching the movie. I felt sucked into the TV. and felt transported to another place. I came back suddenly and with some fear.

25th – Had another experience where I was driving home, feeling very down and wishing I could leave life. I had a very strong pull come from within me that steered the car towards the edge of a bridge I was driving over. I panicked, not sure where this sudden overtaking of my body was. I struggled but managed to keep the car on the road.

June, 2005

3rd – Reading the book Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce. He talks about the trance state and I am convinced that I have been going into trance frequently and this may be the cause for the bridge episode.

5th – Astral experiences detailed here (not going to write them out). Noted that I am not in real-time but most often in astral.

7th – More astral experiences. Learning how to stay in astral and manipulate objects/speed/location.

energyhealingJuly, 2005

2nd – 1st astral: Entered trance state easily. Saw hypnagogic images, heard buzzing in my ears and a loud WHOOSH sound and I exited my body. Walked through objects easily and enjoyed feeling myself become the objects. I found myself watching a map of the universe and then focused in upon Earth. I saw military operations in the desert. I saw a train carrying a helicopter and war machinery and the terrain was very barren with rocks and boulders. I asked to not be shown these things and so focused upon my body, purposefully moving it to come out of astral.

2nd astral: This was my first conscious projection with one of the methods from Bruce’s book. I felt myself outside my body after trying a technique of rocking my body. I ended up head down staring at the floor and out of my body. I noted that I could not go through objects like last time. I played around, learning to materialize objects. Made money materialize and then my dog joined me and we romped around a while. Then I flew up into the sky and was pulled with such velocity upward that I ended up in space staring down at the Earth. The overwhelm of it brought me back to my body.

5th – Went into trance state while walking on my treadmill and listening to Aboriginal music. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the exercise. Then my eyes went into REM followed by a bright, white light that took over my entire vision. I felt the familiar vibration that signaled I could leave my body. I almost did except I worried what would happen to my body since I was on the treadmill. So I stayed in body and played with the trance state some.

6th – Recognizing the conflict created by Ego resistance and the results: chaotic thoughts, distress, destructive tendencies, “soul split” can occur, confusion, disorientation, paranoia, feelings of insanity. One must choose Ego or the Higher Self. Recognition that one creates their own reality is inherent in this process.

20-30th – Went to U.K. Had several hypnosis sessions. I recalled a life as a Native American. There was a ghost in the house I stayed at that I had to deal with. I had several astral adventures but do not go into all of them. In one I went to San Francisco and another to my old high school.

August, 2005 – Mostly lucid dreams this month, family illness, personal upheaval, sister divorced, decisions on what to do, past issues came up.

21st – Guide encounter. Astral meeting. All senses were present. He spoke to me with accent and said his name was Rostan.

29th – Went to psychiatrist who said my OBEs were “psychotic episodes”. She quickly diagnosed me as Bipolar 2 and kept trying to get me to admit I was drinking alcohol and traumatized (which I wasn’t). She gave me an antipsychotic and antidepressant to take.

30-31st – Medicine is making me feel really off and dizzy. It makes me sleep so deep I don’t dream and makes me feel shaky all the time. I stopped taking it two days later.

September, 2005 Most of this month is lucid dream after lucid dream.

4th – Astral experience where the bed felt to be moving and I was pulled into pictures. When I would come back to my body it would happen again and again. I was also hit with intense energy sensations all over my body but mostly around third eye and top of head. Friend later told me this was kundalini.

October, 2005

11th – I wrote that my dreams have all been very sexual for the past month or so. I had an experience where while I was OOB I was hit with a strong energy in my root chakra. It shot up as if in a wide cylinder and moved up my center through my chakras. It expanded as it moved and filled me with such ecstasy that it brought me back to my body. It continued and I began to cry from the experience of it. It was orgasmic but in a different way and hard to explain.

22nd – I’ve been very depressed since the ecstasy experience. I had a guide encounter in astral. I heard his voice audibly. He gave me instructions on how to return to the “in-between” space where I can talk to him without interference. He said it was “a place where past, present and future existed at the same time”. I did as he instructed and went into the lives of other people (some in great detail). I couldn’t tell what time they were from but was told I would be taught how.

25th – I mention that I have had many astral experiences but they were mostly just me alone doing my thing, so I didn’t write about them. I mention a projection where I was being taught how to control astral better and manipulate it. I was taught how to travel using thought and practiced it and met up with others in astral and spoke with about 5 different people. One was a police officer and one told me, “That’s not allowed here” when I asked her name. It appeared that I was meeting people from present time but I didn’t know why.

Your-Higher-SelfNovember, 2005

3rd – Guide encounter in astral. He appeared to me as moving, brilliant light energy with a bluish hue. I heard him and he had an Australian accent. I saw him mostly as blue light though I could make out features. He moved like water. He told me, “I was your first birthday present”. He said much more to tell me as well but I did not write it all down.
The rest of the month was mainly lucid dreams.

December, 2005

4th – Astral 2 times. I met up with people, ate food and thought, “Wow, things even taste better in astral”. My vision blacked out a lot and I realized it happened anytime I resisted doing what my Higher Self wanted. When I was in black out my guide would remind me to stay focused and then I would return to astral.

13th – Astral. I was recognizing the right energy to exit my body. Was told to create whatever I wanted and I ended up standing next to huge, crystal clear ocean on the beach. I saw a peacock and scared it by accident. It ran into the water, almost drowning. I tried to save it but it made it more afraid. I finally let it alone and it came out of the water.

16th – Astral. Walked into several pictures. Finally, I walked into a picture of a lake. I ended up at a lake that was surrounded by a glass house. I went into the dark, cool water and felt huge relief.

22nd – Massive amount of energy descended on me from above. I was not asleep or meditating – I was wide awake! It filled my entire body and felt like a swarm of bees buzzing inside of me. I felt electric or as if I had been magnetized. I relaxed into it. Then the energy seemed to reach a state of equilibrium and my astral body exited out the top of my head. Yet the buzzing energy stayed with me even OOB. My astral body moved so rapidly I felt like I was on a roller coaster and it scared me a little. When I opened my eyes I was traveling very fast. Neon blue lines and shapes zipped past me at dizzying speeds. So I closed my eyes and continued with the energy. I change direction a few times. When I opened my eyes I was underneath my bed! I then went around my house in astral for a while, exploring, flying, etc.

28th – Astral. I flew over an ocean and saw tropical trees and beaches. I knew I was in Australia. I skimmed the top of the water until I got to the island. There I explored a boardwalk lined with stores. It felt familiar and I was happy to be back. I went into a shop and there, sitting all alone at a table, was my Dad. I was overjoyed! I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. We spoke at length about my sister. He warned me of tough times ahead for her and I recall seeing visions of her sleeping on a sofa and being depressed and sad. He told me I needed to help her. I remember thinking it odd that he came to me to talk to me about my sister but I accepted his visit gratefully.

Note: My sister went through a period of difficult times after this OBE that continues to this day.

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Energy Storm

Yesterday all was quiet energy-wise. I awoke feeling refreshed albeit a little concerned about how completely normal my energy seemed compared to the last five days. When I inquired as to why the energy change my guide responded, “It is done”. I assumed that my kundalini rising was on hold for the time being and the thought even occurred to me that maybe I had been wrong and none of what I had experienced was kundalini to begin with.

As I settled in for bed last night I searched online for a book to read since I had finished my most recent book, Snooze: A Story of Awakening. (I highly recommend this book, BTW. It was an excellent read for those of you who like metaphysical fiction). I opted for a book by Becca Chopra called Chakra Secrets and settled down to read. I unexpectedly found myself thoroughly immersed in the book before I knew it and could not put it down.

There was a part of the book that made me cry. It was about 75% of the way through and it hit me suddenly and unexpectedly.  I won’t go into detail about the specifics except to say that it was a note of advice in the book about not allowing fear and other negative emotions to hold you back from living. As soon as I had allowed the emotion to flow out and recovered somewhat from the shock of such an outpouring of emotion I heard my guide say, “We will continue”. It was then that I understood his earlier statement to me of “It is done” to mean that whatever work had been done was done to facilitate that exact moment which was necessary in order for me to move forward. I then heard, “The only way out is through” and knew I had been correct in my conclusion.

Energy Storm

I fell asleep quite quickly after that and slept deeply and without much in the way of dreams. Sometime in the night I recall hearing thunder booming. It was so loud and powerful that it shook my bed and caused my energy to vibrate and move upward from my root to my crown. When this happened I saw in my mind’s eye my chakras light up one by one in brilliant color. With each thunderous bang, a chakra would light up and vibrate and I would see the chakra come into vivid color in the visual of my energy body that floated above my physical body in bed. It was quite confusing to me that I was watching my energy body above me rather than being in my energy body watching my sleeping form. It felt somehow off and I tried to consider what exactly was going on but could not, my mind was too foggy with sleep.

The energy and light show of my chakras went on for what seemed like forever and I recall wondering if the storm was really happening or if it was part of a vivid lucid dream. When I awoke I immediately remembered the experience and got up to check and see if there was evidence of a storm. When I looked out the window I was surprised to find that a storm must have occurred because the streets were soaked and all the leaves that had been in the driveway had been washed away. It is unusual for a thunderstorm to come at this time of year, so I had assumed it had all been a part of my dream/experience.

Message

I tried to return to sleep but could not. I badly wanted to go OOB but could not. I felt last week that I would not be going OOB while this process of kundalini was going on. I am not sure why but I secretly hoped I had been wrong in my interpretation of this information. So far it has proved true and I have been disappointed.

While I lay in bed hoping to fall asleep, I recalled a dream I had in the early morning hours right before I initially awoke. In the dream I was both the observer and the participant. As the participant, I took the form of a young boy who had superb mediumship abilities. He was able to allow Spirit to enter his body and come through him. He would feel their personality, their physical features from life and know all their memories. He then would pass on their messages while expressing their unique personality and body language through his own body. I recall being surprised in the dream of his abilities and speaking to someone about it.

When I remembered this dream I remembered my experience of my friend channeling my guide and also all the accounts I had heard about how others were able to channel Spirit. I had always aspired to this but had never been able to do it, the fear of the unknown always keeping me from letting go enough to allow Spirit to come through. I also recalled the knowingness I had after my 12/12 experience where I saw myself as a conduit for energy.

Then there were the memories of the previous night’s dreams. In the dreams I was being encouraged to revisit the spiritual path I had once abandoned. I abandoned it for many reasons but primarily because it had led me to what seemed to be a dead end and my life was feeling out of control and unbalanced. The dreams had bothered me all day, leading me to question why I was being asked to return to that path when I no longer enjoyed using my spiritual gifts. I was then answered with the thought that I needed to find enjoyment in life again (2nd chakra) and I had enjoyed using my abilities once. I had found them exciting and exhilarating and still, to this day, I have not found any experience that has given me the satisfaction that comes with a successful mediumship session. And I wondered, why was I now dreaming of channeling?

At this time I heard my guide say, “You can do that”.

I, of course, cannot imagine that it is possible. Not only had I never been able to channel in that way, I have not given a mediumship reading in so long that I cannot remember the last time. There is no evidence that I can still do anything with my gifts but my guide reminds me that they are still there and accessible anytime. But I feel so dead to them and to the idea of using them.

Overall, I am being pushed to change direction in my life, to go back to the spiritual path. I do not know what all this entails but I am being told it will begin in January next year. Does this mean Spirit will again start to bug me like they use to? Does it mean that I will connect with people without wanting to? Or does it simply mean that opportunities will begin to be presented to me to help me make the transition? I know I must trust that what needs to happen will happen. Like my guide told me in my dreams the night before last, “I will handle it”. Just because we cannot see how something can be possible, does not mean it isn’t. Anything is possible. We must remember we have limited sight, limited knowingnesd and trust our Higher Selves when we cannot see the path ahead.

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Swaddled in Popcorn Clouds

I can’t sleep. I just had the most amazing experience and I will not be able to sleep until I write about it.

After this morning’s interesting OBE and messages, I went about the day floating about and feeling very happy. The entire time I kept the memory and questions about what happened at the back of my mind. I recognized this near bedtime but still kept the thoughts at bay.

Yoga and Meditation

I was instructed (am using this word as it is the only one that makes sense) to do yoga. I did Hatha yoga while my daughter played and my baby crawled about, sometimes on me. lol It did not bother me, I just enjoyed it and laughed while slowly going through the video routine and breathing deeply.

By bed time I felt the need to meditate. I was instructed to Om, so I did for quite a while. I also moved energy from my root up through my crown and then to the chakra above it. I counted as I went through each chakra, 1-8, and recognized that the 8th one was necessary. I felt my guide close the entire time.

I finally gave up on reaching any kind of meditative bliss, though I did feel calm and without thought. I laid on my right side and attempted sleep.

Dragon Girl

Soon I was dreaming. I was in a darkened theatre listening to a group of actors and actresses who were discussing the filming of a show. I was an actress, too, and knew this, but my focus was upon a small child who was with me. She was blonde and about 6 years old. I recognized her as my daughter but she was very dissimilar to my living daughter.

I was vaguely aware that the director was discussing my role in the “season” that was being filmed. He never mentioned me by name but they were all discussing my role as if I were not there, though I was. I was still focused upon the child who was putting on costumes and dancing about. She was beautiful and I was in awe of her.

I heard them all begin to discuss my access to the role I would be playing. Some were saying I could have no access to the script because I was not a full player in this “series” (it seemed like a television series but felt like the theatre). I recall that my role was being “rewritten” to include me coming into the life of a married man. I would not suspect this but it was being written. I could see the man out of the corner of my mind and there was a bit of sadness about my unexpected role.

I heard all of this but was not concerned. I was still engrossed in the little girl.

The director brought out the little girl dressed in a new costume. I was delighted! She was wearing a dragon costume that covered her entire body and even head. I could still see her face and she was so happy and wanted to show off for me. I watched as she jumped down into my arms, her little purple and green costume soft against my skin. I was extremely happy, happier than I believe I have ever felt in life. The joy poured out me as I hugged her close.

Hypnagogic Images With a Message

As I hugged the little girl against me it felt as if my entire head was swaddled in a soft, cottony pillow. It was white and I could see it but again I did not care or really focus upon it. I felt too good! Then the dream vanished and I was suddenly aware of a beautiful vision pouring into my line of sight. It felt as if I were floating still, my head swaddled and soft and buzzing with a soft energy. The vision clarified and in front of me were millions of tiny, white bubbles filled with rainbows of color, each spinning like prisms within prisms. The vision spread throughout my line of site until it hit the white, almost solid clouds that surrounded it, and me.

I instantly became aware of my body. It was stiff but completely solid. I also knew I was seeing hypnagogic images. Upon this realization my heart sank. Not in fear but in anticipation.

I heard a voice say, “Let go” and as I did, small letters took form upon the swirling, iridescent balls of color. Before they could completely form the word “Let” I knew what I was being told. Then in front of me more words began to form. They were jumbled but I heard a voice say, “What do you want?” and I immediately saw that the jumbled word was “Peace” and I responded, “Peace”. Then I wondered, “What do I do now?” and before my thought was finished I saw the word, “Listen” form in front of me in lavender letters. I listened, focusing on the swirling, beautiful clouds of color in front of me. It was the most spectacular thing I have ever seen! Overjoyed and excited, I continued to watch and waited, listening.

I never heard anything. Instead the stiffness in my body became overpowering as the vision before me faded. I knew/thought, “I will wake up”. A bit disappointed, I allowed it to happen.

Messages

I felt my head still swaddled in the white, puffy clouds. The energy there was so wonderful and relaxing. I just wanted to stay in it but I knew when I moved it would go away.

My guide was there. He asked, “How was it?

“Absolutely wonderful!” I mentally replied.

“There is more to come”

I was in awe. What do I say to that?

I continued to hear him and feel him all around me. I wondered, “Is this what it will be like (to merge)?”

He just said, “More is coming”.

Eventually I moved my body which felt stiff as if I had been in the same position for years. I stretched out on my stomach and thought about what I should do next. He said, “Write”.

I waited a while, still not wanting to leave my bed behind but the memory of what had happened was just too intense. So here I am, my body still jumping involuntarily from the energy that just swept through it. I feel as if I had just had the most awesome trip ever! I can still only think about the colors that surrounded me. All lavenders, pinks and other pastel colors of the rainbow. The soft, cushiony pillow that surrounded my head was so comforting. I felt safe and it reminded me of being a child in my mother’s arms. Oh how I wanted to stay forever. Is that what peace feels like?